The Luke and Pete Show - Volvo car chase

Episode Date: June 30, 2025

Rejoice, for Luke and Pete are back! And this time around they're talking Jeff Bezos' wedding - what's the small talk going to be like?Meanwhile Pete is contemplating living off-grid as long as he can have a superfast broadband connection, which kind of defeats the point, and we hear from a genuinely inspirational vigilante Dad who, in a bastardisation of Liam Neeson in Taken, just wants his son's mountain bike back.Email us at [e-mail] or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy.Fill out our survey here to have a chance at winning a PS5!***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's Orange Wednesdays. It's the Luke and Pete show, Pete Dollison with you. Just say yeah in the middle of me introducing the show even though you didn't know I was about to introduce the show, we were talking about Orange Wednesdays. Yeah I was about to say people were really excited, although they'd accidentally put a hot mic thing in the show, what are they talking about? Orange Wednesdays? That's what we talk about, we talk about going to the cinema and stuff. What was the last time I went to the cinema? Like when your colleague of mine, sorry, your ex-colleague, my friend, Matt Dyson, got caught

on a hot mic on National Radio and it was like a minute and 20 seconds of him talking about his daughter not eating avocados. Right, okay, I don't recall that. It's very, very wholesome. Very much sounds like Matt Dyson's life. He lives in a lovely big house in the middle of nowhere and it's a fucking get in for the breakfast show. I'll give you that. But he's a good lad. I live in a very small house in the middle of also nowhere, but in a different way. No, okay. You're talking to the cinema. Did you ask me how I was? You normally ask me how I am. How are you, Lucky Moor?

I'm all right, thanks. I'm not too bad. It's all we've got. Speaking of cinema, I've not been to the cinema recently, but I'd like to go and see 28 years later. And we talked about it last week, about whether it was filmed on an iPhone or not. But anyway, I hadn't seen 28 Weeks Later, so the other night I

watched that and I liked it, I thought it was pretty good, I actually thought it was decent and I thought to myself, do you know what I thought to myself, so when did that movie come out? Let me just look it up, I'm going to look at when it came out. I'm going to guess, I think it's 2007. Correct, you're bang on. Yes! 2007, but as we sit here in 2025, right, and we look at the cast of 2007's 28 Weeks Later, they've done bloody well. Who was in 28 Weeks Later?

Jeremy Renner. Oh Jeremy Renner, okay. I mean he fell into his own thrashing machine didn't he? I mean... Yeah but he did a lot of Hollywood stuff before that. His career went on from strength to strength. Yeah it's not gonna help your career. No. Robert Carlyle. His career went on from strength to strength. Yeah, it's not going to help your career, I'll admit it. No, no. Robert Carlyle. Okay, has it gone from strength to strength? He was all in Trainspotting. This was kind of a...

Brilliant actor though, amazing. He's brilliant, but I mean, but he made his name outside, before that film presumably. He's on the way down. He did, but what I'm saying is he's still like an amazing getter, right? Yes, yeah, yeah. He's great. Rose Byrne, she's done loads of stuff. Who's Rose Byrne? She plays the funny, really annoyingly perfect friend in Bridesmaids.

Bridesmaids. Yes, she's very good. She's also in Troy. She's in Insidious. She's in loads of bits and pieces. Troy was before. I'll try, yeah probably was. Anyway, I haven't finished yet. Harold Perrano. I don't even know how to spell that to type into Google. Harold Perrano is the main guy I'm from, he's brilliant. Harold, Harold. Is that from Harold and Kumar's trip to White Castle?

No, no it's not. Oh yeah, he's great, yes, lovely. And Big Driss himself. He was in that! He was in it. Right okay, that must have been his post. Because he sort of came to, you know, couldn't buy a stinker. Around about 2012 didn't he? He was kind of after the television show The Wire.

Oh The Wire was way before that though, wasn't it? So good stuff. Yeah, that is a good cast to be fair. I liked it. I didn't expect... Imogen Poots is in it as well, though she's not really done much since though. She's very good in it. And the other boy... Imogen Poots, she's... Can I also just say, like, the kid in 28 Days Later is appalling, absolutely appalling. And the young boy in 28 Weeks Later is also appalling, although he is pleasingly called Mackintosh Muggleton, which is a brilliant name.

Very enjoyable. Mad name. But the girl Imogen Poots is a bit older. She's actually very good in it. So anyway, look, I enjoyed it. Hopefully it's preemptive for me going to see the new one. Luke, is Imogen Poots gay? I don't know.

It's a middle name, gay. Imogen Gay Poots. Yeah, apparently so. Unless somebody's edited a Wikipedia and nobody's noticed. Nah, you wouldn't be. That's too inane even for Wikipedia editors. That is too inane even for that.

There's a lot of, whenever I'm prep of a WrestleMania, you go through old wrestlers' Wikipedias, there's a lot of, whenever I'm prepping for WrestleMania, you go through old wrestlers' Wikipedia's, there's a lot of them that definitely edit their own. If Wikipedia knows exactly the year, or knows to change the year from 37 to 38, in which you met your future second wife, it's clear that you are editing your own Wikipedia. I like it when wrestlers have a kind of birthday unknown.

Yeah, from parts unknown. There's certain things we shouldn't need to know. Yeah, but I think in America and certainly American sports, being a hometown boy and performing in front of a hometown crowd is so bloody important to some people and so most of the time When you're kind of doing shows and stuff It's all like you come on stage and if you're not from here or you're from here You either get booed or you know, you know, CM Punk's a big Chicago guy and that seems to be very important

It's very isolating and alienating when you're not from America because you have no, I don't know the sports teams, I don't know where people are from, I don't know what you know Detroit's famous for apart from crime and cars, like I don't know what you know the vibe is everywhere really. I know what you mean, I think it's, I mean I think, who was it who shared that thing on our WhatsApp group the other day of The New York Knicks fans celebrating something and half of them are just going fuck Tom Brady fuck you Tom Brady It's like yeah, and I'm like it could be anything it could be it's probably when Tom Brady kissed his boy on the lips Oh, yeah, you're obsessed with that weird. I'm obsessed with that I'm obsessed with a guy who sings a song about it If you go if you go anywhere outside of New England

and shout fuck Tom Brady, you'll be fine. You'll actually be fine. Is he one of those kind of like, you don't sort of get that in football quite so much. These kind of like, they're richer than God kind of lunatics, but they still every now and again have to play a football match. Like they become very, they become rockstar weird,

but they also play football. So obviously, Tom Brady won seven Super Bowls, I think it is seven, and he's retired now, of course. And this will give you an idea of the levels of British sports broadcasting and American sports broadcasting. Brady then signed a contract with Fox Sports to be a pundit, right?

Guess how much, bearing in mind, he's already probably well on his Sports to be a pundit, right? Guess how much. Bearing in mind he's already probably well on his way to being a billionaire anyway, guess how much the deal was for him to become a pundit with Fox? How long is the contract? It's 10 years. 10 years I would be expecting around about 200 million for that amount. $375 million. Get out. That's good isn't it. It's counter on that. It's not bad.

It's Genevieve on that. You don't even know that he's good at it. I'll tell you what. Gary Neville will give you another, will give you stick to cricket instead. You can have another vehicle about cricket. You and Phil were keen cricketers in your youths so you know. You can have stick to cricket. Yeah I mean he's probably like, Gary Neville for Sky's probably on 400, 500, 500, if that.

Yeah. I think the way they get around it now though, is they get like, they get their production companies dealt in and they get different arms. So for example, I imagine although it's not a Sky product, like the overlap and stick to football and stuff, there'll be some kind of jiggery-pokery going on to make it adjacent. A little sweetener. It's like when you see, it's like say in like season five of Breaking Bad, when you start to see executive producer Brian Cranston, executive producer Aaron Paul.

Because they've got to the point now where like, yeah you're paying him shit loads of money per app, but they also want to be dealt in. They want some of that juicy stuff. They want some points, you know, that kind of thing. Let me direct for an episode. Can we have a look at a picture episode where I direct? That is every look at a picture episode because I can't do any of the tech. It's a good point actually.

Yeah. So I'm not getting any input into this. I would say that with the... Yeah, when you start to get that point you are kind of making absolute mega coin At what point you start become abstract at that point you reckon? Yeah, but I guess your kind of tastes kind of get get a bit more expensive don't they this kind of things just don't I remember Like John Cena spoke about him buying a really like a shit Ferrari like a kit-kart Ferrari not a real Ferrari

It's got like an engine that doesn't belong in a Ferrari inside this Ferrari basic kit car, you know like men of the 80s used to build, they would look like sports cars but they were just cars that were just like built from fiberglass and fucking lips and arseholes from different places. Lips and arseholes. And they would, yeah cars have lips and arseholes. The car lip is the radio at the front and the air intake to burn the fuel. It's the arsehole. And the exhaust is the arsehole.

The exhaust is the arsehole. Exactly. So yeah, they'd make these sort of cars. And anyway, John Cena bought a kit car and it just never worked properly. And apparently it's taken him like 15 years to get it fixed. Because... He needs a project. Well, it's just like he spent like a Ferrari and a half on a car that isn't a Ferrari basically

to sort of fix it up which is absolutely... Because he wanted that as a project. He wanted that as a project. But I don't know how satisfying a project car is if you are not, you know, oily ragging hand and a spanner just doing it yourself. Do you know what I mean? I don't know how... I don't think it's satisfying to go, oh yeah and then I've sent it off to get this fitted and that fitted and then it's back now and it's like, is that satisfying? You're just kind of like the money person aren't you?

Yeah. You know what you mean? It's like I'm Steve Ballmer. You'd want to get involved with something. Like Steve Ballmer, the Microsoft executive, one of the richest men in the world. Famous guy. I love this company. I saw an interview with him fairly recently where he is talking about his life.

He's doing the rounds, isn't he? He's about charities and stuff. I'm not sure why, but he was saying something quite interesting, which is that it's a weird life because he says, I understand I'm aware all the time that I'm just being catered to. No one's ever, I'm extrapolating a bit, he didn't say this bit specifically, but what I guess he meant was no one's ever kind of dealing with me on like face value.

Everyone's catering to me in some kind of way, right? And I don't know from Steve Bourne some kind of way, right? Yes. And I don't know from Steve Bourne's point of view, whether he's got loads of outrageous demands or whatever, but it just seems to the axis just shifts, doesn't it? Because what? Because he's a man of terrific substance. Just because he's so rich that I think a lot of time people probably equate that with everything needing to be perfect all the time. So people start to get a bit flustered, they go, I'm gonna fuck this up, you know, and so he, you know, I guess he just can't... A million different weird... it's like being famous, isn't it? Like you must have a million weird interactions with people

there and it goes on for so long and they're so dense these interactions that you sort of start to think that human is fucked and meant It's a complete power imbalance isn't it like my my granda always used to say It's like a little kind of half joke thing. It always used to say that The Queen thinks she's the funniest person in the world right because every time she says something people just laugh. Yeah obviously Right and so it's just a weird kind of completely Imbalanced interactions with every other human being apart from ones that you know really closely right and this it's just a weird kind of completely imbalanced interactions with every other human being

apart from ones that you know really closely, right? And it would just be a weird life. But if I was really, really wealthy, I don't think my demands would be that kind of different. I'd probably just do a load of stuff to make my life more convenient and more easy. And I probably wouldn't do stuff I didn't wanna do. You've been catered to now.

I've been catered, you can't say I've been catered to now. We're just on a very smaller scale. Not by you. Not by me. I wouldn't do nothing for you. No, if anything it's the opposite for you. Speaking of that though, did you see, we should probably naturally segway into the Jeff Bezos wedding. Would you like to go to that? Oh, I mean, have they managed to solve the whole Venice stinking of shits conundrum? Also is it true to say that a lot of people didn't want them there? There's a lot of protests and stuff.

Yeah I mean there's like there always is gonna be you can't really sort of go anywhere but what did you do? Did you just basically hire out the entirety of Venice for the day? Yeah something like that and someone there's a massive banner in St. Mark's Square. I think there's two activist groups. One is Greenpeace and one is just called Everyone Hates Elon, which is pleasing. But they did a big banner. Massive it is. You could see it from the drone shot.

I saw it was actually quite fucking far away and it's massive. It just says, if you can rent Venice for your wedding, you can pay tax or something like that. And, but I just, my question to you wasn't that. My question was, would you like to be there? Cause it's gonna be massive, right? Imagine if you could dust yourself in a normal lotus. It'd be like the party, it'd be like the party, it would be like the party would be so large

that you'd feel like you were at the, like, a post-Britz party and you'd'd be like am I in the main party? Or am I in like a silo? Am I effectively on the children's table, but in wedding form like am I being mocked off here? Imagine just rolling up to Ivanka Trump and just going alright Alright, thanks. What do you reckon? What do you reckon to the starter? Do you like canapes? What do they talk about? What do you reckon? What do you reckon to the starter?

Do you like, do you like canapes? What do they talk about? Did I? You'd have to go in with, shout in like George Soros or something wouldn't you? You'd have to sort of go in, mind you they're all fucking liberals behind closed doors aren't they? So you'd probably be like, probably have to talk about the environment quite a lot. Yeah it would be that.

They're all fucking all like. Also I saw the guest list and I was like, Mick Jagger and Elton John are on there. That's alright isn't it? That's kind of up there. Is Bezos really friends with Elton John or is just like Elton John's a guy who you want to be seeing at your wedding so you need to get him in? If so that's just a bit sad. They're probably playing aren't they?

Yeah I mean that would have cost them a bit. They're probably on a bit of a feat. I think when you're a bit of the other furniture, you're the kind of musical furniture of the world I think you, people don't criticise you quite as round, they just sort of go, oh, Elton John, he'll turn up to a fucking big old bash, won't he? And you know, Mick Jagger, probably gonna look out for a young lady.

You know what I mean? Nobody goes, oh, gross, you're the worst. That's what people say about you. He's a guy you want at a party, and he's probably gonna look out for a young lady. That's what people say about you all the time. I love this- Or a normally sized, that's the wrong word. Normally priced, no, that's also the wrong word.

Normally aged woman. Thank you. Yeah, good. But anyone younger than me. My partner is a few years older than me, so I have a bit of that. And she's still not listening, so she'll be very much focusing on the word few there. Got one word for you there smoke screen Can I just return to some kind of Matthew just for a second and say that some of the reporting I've read on the Bezos wedding

And all these protests and stuff Is all the usual stuff, you know people complaining and I suppose to do a proper news report on it You've got to have some kind of balance, right? and someone was complaining that news report on it, you've got to have some kind of balance, right? And someone was complaining that they couldn't get a water taxi because everything's been blocked off and their lives had been made harder because of it. You live on the water, mate. You're already living life a bit difficultly, one would say. But then someone else was interviewed and said, what's wrong with Jeff Bezos getting

married here? It's a beautiful city to get married in. I got married here, too Before then saying I don't really know who this Bezos fellow is Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha If you lived in the middle of the Italian countryside, I know Venice isn't that, but if you did and you lived up in the highlands of Scotland or whatever and you genuinely checked out of things, do you think you'd be happy knowing what you already know? Because obviously you can't unlearn all the stuff you already learned or do you think you'd go mad? I think I would sort of, the only things I'd be interested in is developments in antacids because the amount of tomatoes, fresh tomatoes I'd be eating would be off the scale. The amount of like mozzarella I'd be getting down me in the Italian countryside would

be absolutely obscene. You probably wouldn't get that bad fucking reaction because it probably would be processed. You can't process a tomato all that much can you? Pesticides though. Pesticides? Yeah good point actually yeah. Could you be an off-grid guy? No I'd have to have my cake and eat it. I'd want to be an off-grid guy. I'd fantasize about being an off-grid grid guy and living in the middle of nowhere but I'd have to have a T1 at least ISDN connection. You know what I mean? I'd still have to have a computer connection. So you're not off-? No, not off grid. That's not the first thing off grid people look for. Yeah, but like, the grid suggests being on the grid of the ground, but if you're like

talking, if you've got one of those star links, is that a grid? Your grid's pointing right up. So from the sky, there's no grid, because it's perpendicular to the to the ground so it goes right up so there's no grid. So I've asked you if you can go off grid and all you've talked about so far is an internet connection and Elon Musk. I don't think you're prepared for it. As long as I can get my electricity from space and also my data from space then technically from a bird's eye view I'm not on a a grid, I'm on a dot, which is fine. This is absolutely fine. All right, okay, let me put it another way.

You have to live in the middle of nowhere. I've created an environment for you where you're completely self-sufficient. You don't really need to go and do anything. You get a brick phone, like a Nokia phone to chat to your family and your friends and to text. I wouldn't even do that. And you've got a DVD player and that's it.

What DVDs have I got? 28 days later. Yeah, you're living that. In fact at the end of 28 days later they end up in the Lake District I think, don't they? Living in a big cottage. I'll tell you what I would say by the way, going back to 28 weeks later just before we have a break, the opening 10 to 12 minutes of 28 weeks later is amazing. It's remarkably good. The film doesn't live up to that standard,

but it's a brilliant opening that grabs you fully by the lapels. It's like, watch this film. You're like, fuck it now. I might start watching it because I've got my little multi-trainer, elliptical trainer, and I watch the whole video, I watch the whole film on that at the weekend, and I might do it again. I might just start being a film guy. Not sweating, I clearly wasn't working very hard.

So I watch the film. That's the thing with the elliptical, you've got to build the resistance up, otherwise it doesn't really do much. Yeah, otherwise, yeah. I was watching the Far and Down test match on Tuesday, I think it was, was it Tuesday? Yeah it would have been Tuesday. And I ended up doing half an hour more on the treadmill than I expected.

It was grit. What speed do you do? Say you do 20 minutes of running, how much ground are you sort of taking? A couple of miles? These days not much ground are you sort of taking? Couple of miles a mile? These days not much, yeah probably just a couple of miles yeah. I mean back in the day, not to get Uncle Albert about it, but back in the day I was much quicker. But I haven't run much, I haven't run much at all this year. My par for a mile would be probably, I don't know, between eight and a half and nine minutes a mile but at

the moment I'm not even near that. I'm just eating because the baby is eating a lot of pasta like just so much pasta. Kids love that pasta and most of my food these days is basically just what she leaves behind so. Same. So I'm just getting through a lot. I ate like two portions of pasta just now. I'm really sleepy. I'm a nightmare. I've had an absolute nightmare. Do you know what? I had a pasta lunch a week or so ago

and it was absolutely brutal the other day. It was awful. It's like I'm in two pints. It's like a zombie. It's like I'm in like a liquid lunch. It's awful. Yeah, it's really tough. Because nowadays, I've always got creme fraiche in the fridge.

Creme fraiche, bit of vegetable stock. You've got a sauce, baby, bit of mushroom, maybe some asparagus, and then you've got to stick some precooked pasta in. It's absolutely banging, but yeah, I just sat there and ate like two portions of pasta. It's delicious, but it fucking kills you. I'm eating like we're in Rooney on a Saturday morning. Yeah, it kills you, man. Like, you absolutely killed me dead.

It was horrible. It's so difficult to process. It's like your body's really trying hard to process it. Yeah. I get to Friday and I'm like, oh fuck, I forgot to do that thing. And like I tell like, I got a meeting, I keep on saying what I'm going to do and every Friday

I go, can we do it on Monday? It never happens. And I'm like, how did this happen? Because you ate more pasta now. Yeah, we cancelled the meeting last week because Pete ate some pasta, so he couldn't do it. Imagine that in our twenties, man. It's like a guy on Twitter, or whatever the other day, who had posted this graph of, I guess, some kind of Apple watch of his blood sugar or something and his sleep. And he was

like, totally earnestly saying, yeah, kind of gave into temptation last night and a tracker bar before bed. Look at the results. Won't be doing that again. Will Barron Lucky that they were the worst sleep ever. My God. Steve McQueen Someone replied saying Ozzy Osbourne used to drink a pint of vodka every night before performing on stage, then hit loads of cocaine and he's like 70 years old or whatever. Will Barron Somebody wrote this piece about, I presume

the point of it was the person I'm going to mention last, but it was literally just like, you know, this person used to do this on stage, this person used to do this on stage, this person used to cut himself with bottles, you know, Ozzy Osbourne used to eat a rodent, Gigi Allen used to eat his own shit, Beds and Boon does backflips. Beds and Boon does does backflips. Yeah. Beds of bone does a backflip. The Gigi Allen story is awful. I would hate to go into it. He's the worst.

I think it involves him being dead at a party and people just carrying on partying with him for ages. Was it Harold Overdose? Yeah, I think so. He's a safe bet. Oh, without reading his own shit. Right, let's have a break. Don't eat your own shit. But if you do, do buy some products that you're going to be hearing about right now. We'll be back in a second. Bye! It's the Look at Beecher and we are back. Should we do some emails, Lukey Moor? Or have

you got anything else to talk about? Yeah, I've got a really good email here from our friend Jason. Do you want me to read that? Jason! Jason! It's some incredible dad behavior. Okay, love incredible dad behavior. It says, hello boys, you might remember me. I wrote him before and added a new battery to the list from within my grandfather's 100th birthday gift.

I don't remember that, but it sounds amazing. It's a big sass time. Peter. It's a massive vibrator. Peter. It's what he wanted! It's what he wanted! Can you turn down Captain Tom's last requests? You know what I mean? Like not last requests but 100 year old requests? No you know, are ya? So have a bit of that. Captain Tom's version of You'll Never Walk Alone is my favourite ever single. The weather will get better, it's all that, innit?

You'll never... Everything's going to be better now. Well, it didn't get better, did it, Captain Tom? You're dead and the world's shit. You're dead, the world's a fucking mess. We're on the, you know, a proliferation precipice in the nuclear sticks. Yeah. Could have done with, you're going to walk around your garden for that, are you? Come on. We're living off grid whether we like it or not. Yeah, exactly. There'll be someone out there who could do some kind of

butterfly effect of the nature of everything that's happening now is to do with Captain Tom walking around his garden. Yes, he crushed a beetle that set off something. A lot of it's not really Captain Tom's fault, is it? It's stuff that his family made him do. Yeah, I don't think Captain Tom had the idea to what... Like, bearing in mind every time he was interviewed, he didn't really say anything of naught, So you kind of get the sense that he was not necessarily wanting to walk around his garden. Is that fine to say? I don't know. I don't know. He might have been happy to walk around his garden. He might have thought that was a good idea. But Britain's so predictable, isn't

it? Like, you've got a knighthood and stuff, you know? Yeah, well, yeah, it's pretty basic stuff, isn't it? But I find with like, Lie below, it is kind of one of those situations where it's like, it's all kind of on the, it's all under the previous position that will this affect public opinion of this person? So you can go a bit further when they're disgraced, do you know what I mean? You can go a bit further and sort of go, well I mean they're clearly, clearly absolute, absolute weirdos with their spar and stuff so yeah. I've known British Airways. What flying them to Jamaica? Didn't he meet Russ Abbott out there?

He met Russ Abbott out there. Maybe Russ Abbott was part of it. Is Russ Abbott like in exile in the Caribbean? Barbados. Yeah, I think he's a, yeah, I think Russ Abbott's grandson used to listen to the ramble. I don't know whether he still does. Where's that come from? He wrote an email in. One of the only emails I ever remember about the ramble is that, hi, you were talking about Rosabit. Rosabit is my granddad. That's a brilliant email. Which was absolutely fantastic. That is probably the best thing that's ever happened to us.

Anyway, he got a knighthood captain, Tom. Don't know if it was posthumous or whatever, but anyway, British Airways paid for him to go to Barbados, trying to get involved. Oh right, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I bet he went first as well. You reckon? I bet they prepared a little sort of galley area for him to walk around because the man could not, he couldn't stop walking, it was like the film Speed. Oh right, if he went under a half a mile an hour he would explode, which he eventually did, unfortunately. I think he died of pneumonia and complications from Covid.

Anyway, if there's anyone still listening now after that offence-o-rama, let's just finish this email. It's a good one, but it's going to take a wee while, so I need to get on with it, to be honest. Okay. He says, yeah, so Jason says, I want to tell you a story this time about a harrowing tale about a vigilante dad. The year was 1998 and I was 14. Like Luke, I was into mountain biking and purchasing parts and stuff from the backs of various magazines.

Yeah, I used to do that. At the time I had a nice Trek mountain bike that was about $1,200, not including the upgrades. So Trek's a good brand. I mean, it was there anyway. No, no, yeah. That's serious. We'd like, I imagine that that's worth the best part of like three grand now. Good God. I mean, Trek is, it was, I mean, depending on what model you go for back in the day Trek

was, was decent. And I was, I was riding it to the local shop age 14 when a group of three men in their twenties or thirties demanded that I hand over the bike. I tried to run away but I couldn't get on my bike fast enough and they beat me up and stole it. One rode off on the bike and the other two jumped in the car and I was too shaken up to get the number plate. So my dad sent me to the police, this is where it gets really funny, this is 1998 right? This is proper old school policing. It is isn't it. My dad sent me to the police who had me look at a book of mugshot thumbnails and two of the guys looked very generic and I couldn't

remember them but one of them looked like Curly from The Three Stooges with a neck tattoo and I recognized him instantly from one of the photos. But nobody had neck tattoos. Nobody had neck tattoos. It was just saving criminals right? It was a nightmare to be a criminal doing criminal stuff and have Curly hair and a neck tattoo. Wow. Now I remember in Portsmouth there was an amazing tattoo studio, parlour thing, under one of the arches of the old train track. Back before like Gunwolf Keys and all the development, it was a rough part of old Portsmouth and it was honestly terrifying to walk past it. Now everyone's probably in there.

Anyway. Probably brewing up a bit of microbrewery. Yeah, exactly. They will be. With tattoo ink. The police officer said, oh, is this guy, is it? Well, how about these guys pointing to photos

on an adjacent page? And that was obviously the other two men. They were all brothers, right? The officer explained to my dad that we didn't really have any evidence to go on other than me pointing the finger. But these were different times and that officer must have been a father

because he just gave my dad their home address. Ha ha! The next day, my dad took me in his old Volvo 240 estate down to their street where he planned to wait as long as it took. This is exciting. This is a cast of what I'll be doing with my son when he old.

But I'm not brave enough. About 45 minutes later, they started coming out the house and loaded what looked like the wheel of my bike into the trunk of the car. My dad started to approach, but from where we were parked, it was about 100 yards, and they had pulled out the driveway before we got there. He quickly came back to the car,

and then we started to follow them. We drove behind them for about five minutes until they got on the highway. Then they realized they were being followed and tried to run. My dad gave chase and we were driving this Volvo at high speed, changing lanes rapidly. Then the guys changed from the left lane

all the way to the exit on the right across three lanes in order to lose us. We missed the exit. But my dad was not gonna let this go. He drove lose us. We missed the exit, but my dad was not going to let this go. He drove off the highway, over the grass, up the hill and cut them off on the off-ramp. The next few minutes were a blur because before I know it my dad's pulling the driver from the car while simultaneously open hands slapping him several times in the face. It was the fat curly looking guy and his eye was instantly swollen shut because

my dad's got hands like plywood Like a grand theft auto shit. It's amazing. It's totally soprano. My dad walked the guy to the truck and forced him to open it He yelled to me to come get your bike. I started crying and went to get my bike Why is he gonna get his kid in a wrong one? You're gonna get a slap if you cry in front of your dad at that time One of the brothers got out of the car presumably to step step in, but my dad pointed at him and yelled, sit the fuck down, to which the man instantly complied. He got in the old Volvo and to my surprise, he drove back over the grass and up onto the highway. My dad has since passed away, sadly,

and I want to stress that he was a very gentle man and always told me I was a good kid. He made incredible sacrifices for me and I miss him every day. But you never mess with someone's kid, especially if they have a dad. Jason. Jason, you are making me feel scared of what I'm going to have to become to be a dad. Because that is top dadding. I mean, amazing scenes. Like, it's like something out of a film. Open hand slapping member of the 3 stooges telling the other blocks to sit down oh big fun so I don't my situation love it if I if I get involved in a bit of that and then I I scream at the other guy sit the fuck down I just don't think people would listen to me I just think I would be frightening

enough from what I've seen playing as a 44 year old man playing with young occasionally playing with young lads at football at 11 aside, I should finish that sentence quicker, they talk a good game don't they? But then when it actually comes down to it they're actually quite timid. So I think just having a bit of authority and just being a bit fucking mental. Having a bit of moxie, a bit of authority. Having a bit of moxie, a bit of that and you can probably get stuff done. My friend the other day telling me, he's actually quite a senior police officer, and he was

telling me that in his regular five aside group. So basically he sent me a screenshot of the organizer of his five aside group on like a fucking Monday night or whatever saying, Oh, after what happened last week, but I'm no longer prepared to organize five aside. So we're not having a game this week and we won't be having a game going forward unless anyone else else organizes it. And I was like, Oh, what happened? And he said, oh, a load of people had a big row and two lads just started fighting, like properly fist fighting each other and stuff. And it was just a bit shit and a bit unsettling

for people who didn't like it. And I was like, did you like step in as a police officer? He was like, nah, I can be asked. It's not your problem. Yeah, I'm not working. I can't be bothered. Although he's the same guy who once flashed his police badge at a bouncer at a nightclub and we were a lot younger and the bouncer who was much more physically impressive than him just took it off him and said, come back and get this tomorrow. Which he had to do. Yes, like that. It was so good. He's like, excuse me, this, this

and this, obviously drunk, and the bloke just looked at it, looked him up and down, just grabbed it off him and pushed him. Absolutely no respect for the law. Yeah, you can't be flashing your badge around unless there's a crime taking place. I mean, you need a warrant, don't you? And are you going to drunkenly ring a judge at 1am to get a record? No, you don't need a warrant to go, I'm a police officer, can I come into this nightclub please? There's some perps in there, but he was obviously just pissed. I don't know, it's a license premises, you can't just sort of say I'm coming in because

I'm a police person. You know, the police people. We're police people here. We're police people. Alright, if your dad's ever committed actual bodily harm on someone, do get done. ShallotLukeBeatshow.com. We want to hear from you because it makes our hearts sing, it makes us feel closer to our own fathers, it makes us feel deficient in our own lives and yeah, I mean this is what we're here for to be honest. We'll be back on Thursday with

batteries and stuff. Say goodbye Luke Luke. Goodbye, Luke. Shlap. The Luke and Pete Show is a stack production and part of the A-Cast Creator Network.