The Luke and Pete Show - Wall Fish Emporium

Episode Date: July 15, 2024

In an effort to out-alpha him, Pete's dog Sammy rubbed his empty ball sack on Pete’s head at 3am. Lola got involved too by pissing in the bed. But Donny’s just happy the gang’s all together.Elsewhere, Luke questions the ethics of a snail harvesting business.Email: [e-mail] or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram.***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Luke and Pete show. My name's Pete Donaldson. I'm joined by Mr. Lukey Moher. Hello. You're right. I have decided to vault fast, make a big career change in my life, Lukey Moher. I'm no longer going to be a primo podcaster du jour.

I'm going to sell snails on the street. I'm going to be the snail man. Okay. I thought it was going to be at Primo Podcaster Du Jour. I'm going to sell snails on the street. I'm going to be the snail man. Okay. I thought it was going to be worse. So first of all, my first instinct is relief. What's the thinking? The thinking is I am very cash poor, time poor, but very snail rich. I've got lots of slugs.

I've got loads of snails. And someone's got to need them someone simply has to need them so you know in parts of the uk traditionally people have always eaten snails as well it's not just in france yeah they used to be called uh wall fish didn't they what what's wall fish yeah oh like fish that climb up the wall i guess that would make sense i suppose yeah i guess so like um they um apparently, I was just looking at it now, records of snail eating in Somerset stretch as far back as the Roman times, but in the 60s it was very popular to eat wallfish in Somerset.

Well, you can just, you can take a load of snails that you find in your garden and then as long as you keep them in a little box and feed them pure food um and make sure you get rid of their poop and stuff they do cycle out all of the really dangerous toxins that they have in their body um so then you can just um you give them a give them a cooking and i i would overdo them um and eat them but i just think it's what do you mean is it cruel you But I just think it's... What do you mean, is it cruel? You have to cook them alive, really, don't you? Yeah, I suppose.

I don't know what a snail stun gun... You're not going to give them a humane soldier's death with a little cocktail stick, are you? Could you not freeze them? Would that not kind of... That sends them to sleep, doesn't it? I'm worried about them coming reanimated again. Yeah, and then they take over your freezer

and then you've got to get rid of your freezer then. There must be an objective point at which, scientifically speaking, animals kind of feel suffering and pain, right? So no one, for example, no one's worried about killing a flea, right? Not even the biggest human rights activists are going to be worried about the death of a bit of bacteria or whatever. So what I'm saying is, what's the call? Where does bacteria end and life forms start?

As you said to your doctor. As I argued dispassionately on Tinder. I think, where does it end where does it end do you do what about like obviously there are little um animals on your body um making you smell bad because the secretions of needed though isn't it needed yeah the conversation you've had with many a prospective partner isn't it well that's something like you know when you like put um a deodorant on you on your body it's because you are trying to mask or obviously destroy the smell of the excrement of the microbes or whatever aren't you so like the organism living your body so what where i mean i guess they're your organisms i

i mean they've chosen yeah but then if you take that to its natural conclusion, you're a prospective running mate with Donald Trump killing a dog, aren't you, really? If you sort of go, well, it's my dog, so I can kill it how I want. That's what I'm saying. But I mean, if you take the passion out of it, the kind of emotion out of it, there's going to be a scientific answer to that question.

At what point are organisms able to feel and experience pain and suffering? Because I told you before that a mutual friend of ours doesn't eat certain animals when they get above a certain perceived intelligence level because he thinks it's cruel, right? So octopus, pigs, he won't eat them. He said, no, no, no, they're too developed as human beings,

as creatures, like it's not fair, right? Everyone's got... So if you take that principle, everyone's got a cut off. I think... It's a good line to have, isn't it? Like, it's a good line to have because you can still have a munch on a...

And you're not missing much. Octopuses in everything, is it? Chickens in everything. Yeah, chicken would be an interesting one because chickens are famously quite stupid. You can chop their head off and they can just walk around for ages. Well, there was that one that lived for months without a head, wasn't there?

Put little pipettes of honey or something or sugar water into it. I don't want to get people squeamish about it, but I'm just saying there has to exist a cut-off point. And people don't think about that stuff enough, do they? Blow the chin. So I don't know where snails would fit on that. Can you kill small animals kind of like, you know, like halal and stuff, and you've got to kill things in a certain way?

Yeah. What about ones that don't have necks or stuff? You know, how does that kind of work, I suppose, in that space? I mean, I've never really thought that much about animals without necks. It's probably written down in scripture, though, isn't it? It's probably as detailed there. So if you weren't eating slugs and snails then... My personal view is that you shouldn't be able to use any kind of book

to excuse cruelty to animals, personally. That's just my personal view. But I don't know where a snail... Oh, I'm trying to say this. I don't know where a snail would fit on this scale. And I think you should probably look into it before you start your new business. Because you need to make sure they're being treated

humanely. Well, they're being treated humanely because they're in my garden and the dogs aren't interested. She said they're like a dog. If they're in my garden, I reckon if I were in the garden now, I could spend two hours and I would collect about a bucket

full of harvested snails. Just harvesting my snails. What are you going to do with them? Throw them over next door. Your dogs like them? Not interested at all, which is a good thing because remember that boy died. He got presumably some kind of myxomatosis kind of issue in his brain. It was some kind of toxin, yeah.

Yeah, he sort of just went as a day. He just went, just ate as a day he just went just ate a slug and just had the world's worst time took him years to sadly pass away because he had

a big serious disability but your dogs aren't is it a danger to dogs then I don't think it's great yeah I don't think

it's great I mean they I don't understand how because I've got a bad tum tum today because I had a dodgy beef burger

every single fucking record I'm fine I'm fine usually but i'm just like today a bad beef burger what is a bad beef burger from a from deliverood but a bad beef burger um on on on order all right well let's go through this what was it specifically it was a stilton-y sort of blue cheese burger. From? From, I don't know, a place called Gaz's or something. What are you doing? You're inside. You know that if you get serious food poisoning, it can alter the biome, your gut biome, like permanently.

It may just have been that I had too many jalapenos with it. I ordered double jalapenos with the Stilton. So you ordered a Stilton burger from Gaz's Burgers with extra jalapenos? And now my tum-tum's a bit fun-fun. What symptoms are you experiencing? Just the eggy burps. Eggy burps isn't bad. You're in your apology cabin.

There's no one to smell them apart from those wrestling figures. But it's not full, it's not full, like, you know, both ends kind of vibes. But it's kind of like, I've dodged one there. That's a, it's a bad pint. You know, like, you smell bad from both ends, but nothing's, you know, torrenting out of you. Do you ever adjust your behavior based on previous experiences in any aspect of your life? Yeah, but like, but that's the thing. You mostly get salmonella and stuff from salads, don't you?

It can, yeah. In many ways, I've avoided that. I don't think salmonella, I think that's kind of E. coli, isn't it? Yeah, well, I mean, it's kind of like you, obviously with beef burgers, you cook them, don't you? So the chances of you getting done over by meat is probably less than the salad, you would say. How often are you ordering a Deliveroo every week at this point? It's pretty heavy Deliveroo use, yeah. Have you got one of those unlimited accounts where you get free delivery?

No, no, no. Yeah, no, no, no. And how many a week are you doing at the moment? It's probably about three. Probably about three. That's not. And how does the partner you have access to feel? Is she partaking?

Absolutely loves it. what why would you why would you because we have hello fresh and once it gets to about thursday friday we're like look it's nearly the freaking weekend i can either cook that hello fresh for tea or we can have it for lunch the next day um or yeah we have a bit of that conversation in our house yeah or more likely i forget about the HelloFresh and the final recipe the bag the cardboard paper bag just sort of perishes

and the ingredients are just left at the palm of our bread bin for ages but you do find if you need a sachet of vegetable stock there's always more available bit of garlic, bit of vegetable stock, there's always more available. Oh, I'm the same. Vegetable stock paste, chicken stock paste, garlic. Never run out of that in the house anymore. But I often find that they don't always put

all the refrigerated ingredients in the refrigeration bag. So you need to go through the paper bags to check. They know. You're being silly here. I think you might just be thinking that you need to leave mayonnaise in the fridge and stuff. Listen to this. No, no, it's not just mayonnaise.

Listen to this, right? If I'm buying HelloFresh for the week, so I get four recipes for the week, I get mine delivered on a Saturday, right? So by the time it gets to Friday, that's five or six days, you cannot keep, for example, spinach or broccoli. Oh, spinach. You've got

to prioritise the fish and the spinach they don't put spinach in the refrigeration bag is what I'm saying it's in the paper bag oh yeah but maybe

there's a reason for that maybe there's a reason for the spinach it's not being in the fridge it's big hello fresh they want you to buy more of it big spinach

I might just put them in a freezer actually because the spinach is never in a good good nick when I get hold of it do you have a system where you decide

which recipes to make based on what dates the meat goes out? Perishing, yeah, certainly. Yeah, you have to. There will be, by the end of the week, the bean recipe left, which I always look at and I go, uh, beans, but I cook it and it's always lovely. It's always better than all the other recipes.

But looking at them, looking at a carton of butter beans, it's not nice. But when you cook it, it's lovely. Yeah, so I feel the same as you. I think I've been conditioned with my upbringing to not think that vegetarian meals are a real meal. And so the Y5 Axis who will regularly insist on putting a vegetarian one in there,

and I always like it. And what I would say is you've got to order it by the protein date. So as I say to the Wi-Fi backstreet, I don't care if you fancy the king prawn risotto tonight. The prawns are good for another few days. We're doing the Cajun chicken pasta. The prawns always last.

Yeah, I'm chucking everything in a bin. The prawns always last. That's as much as they deserve from us, though. Related to woodlice? What, prawns? I can see that, yeah. Yeah. Probably very, very similar to shellfish. Why are we not to woodlice? What, prawns? I can see that, yeah. Yeah, it's probably very very similar to shellfish. Why are we not

eating woodlice? We've got enough of them in the garden as well. Do you remember when Gillian McKeith, that crazy lady, back in the day when TV was mad and you could just go on TV and say anything about health food. Debase yourself, yeah. Didn't check your credentials. She had like 10 years of good eating.

Good work. She will have Didn't check your credentials. She had like 10 years of good eating. Like 10 years of... Good work. Of like... She will have put through her bank millions of pounds. Before the bottom for that TV as well. So she was earning good money as well, I expect. Yeah. She would always say that if you want your vital kind of...

I can't really call it now. Your vital oils. Don't eat fish. Eat flax seeds. And then someone who was actually qualified in nutrition said,

let me show you something right now and did like an infographic of how many flax seeds you'd need each day to get as much oil as you would from one piece of fish.

And it was something like, I don't know why he did it in this denomination, but it was something like two and a half black taxis full of flax seeds. For one portion of fish. It was like, she doesn't know what she's talking about.

It's insane. And she used to go through people's poo as well. Do you remember those halcyon days? Yeah, just going through poo in Tupperware. Because, I mean, people's poos are quite variable, aren't they? Sometimes they're different colours, shapes, perspectives. Carry on. Carry on with your song. Different smells. Yeah, shapes, perspectives. Carry on. Carry on with your song. Different smells.

Yeah, they're variable. So one day it might be looking like one thing and the other day it might be looking like another. If you have the same poo every time, I mean, what a dream. What a dream. Can you please look up on your delivery app the place you got that burger from?

Why? So I know. Because I want it to be a really, really dirty kebab house burger. I don't think it is. It's not. Because we recorded this on a Wednesday. That's a Tuesday night. It's not even Saturday night after being out on the source.

Yeah, but it was Sarah's Owens. You came back and it was France-Spain. I was like, I want to watch France-Spain with a nice burger. Are you looking for any excuse to get a takeaway? Yes, any excuse at all. Yeah, I'm a bit like that. It's a place. Well, I won't name it,

because it might just be my body. What about other people listening who live in the area, like Big Pav? I went for a Big Blue... We'll go for a drink soon, me and Big Pav. Beef Blue Cheeseburger. Then he'll be my friend again, thank you. That's annoying.

We'll come on to that in a minute. Carry on with your burger thing. Beef Blue Cheeseburger, blue cheese dip and jalapenos, £16. From where? From a place that sounds like Gavin's, all right? In Southend. I just want you to do a public service to the people of Southend.

Sarah went for a beef classic with classic sauce. She's fine today, is she? And she's fine today. But then she does have a more solid iron stomach and I just don't. Parmesan and truffle fries. Very good. Smashed avocado fries. Yeah.

It could have been the Kinder Bueno milkshake. Could have been the Kinder Bueno milkshake. How many calories in the Kinder Bueno milkshake? My goodness. I don't care

because I'm eating snails. I did finish with some snails. Kinder Bueno milkshake 1 pound 49. Delivery free. Free. Bag fee. 10 pence1.49. Delivery free. Free. Bag fee.

Ten pence for a bag. I didn't realise I was getting charged for bags. Oh, dear. There's 850 calories in that Kinder Bueno milkshake. That's outrageous. Oh, I know where it is. It's right... I'm just looking at where this Gavin's place is.

Not Gavin's. It's really... It is... It is. Oh, I've been in here during a booze up. It's like proper like central south end, like town centre, rock pot kind of chain bar. Like local,

you know, there's local chain bars that have about five or six around like one area. But yeah. My biggest order spot for delivery at the moment is Mojo, which is this amazing independent Mexican place in West Norwood. Their quesadillas are amazing. And they even passed the American wife quality test.

She's used to a much higher standard. They do have strong policies on anything Mexican. So, hang on a minute. So, the Big Pav thing. I speak to Big Pav all the time he's 95% my friend right

5% yours I would say and he messaged me on WhatsApp the other morning with a photo saying look who's on my train and it was you

and I showed you the picture yeah and I said go and talk to Pete why aren't you talking to me so I don't talk on the commuter train you can't talk on the commuter train

so have you messaged him since then saying let's go for a beer uh he messaged me sort of go like haha i saw you on the train um strong trousers um except you know just just take them but it's basically extension of you taking the piss on my trousers um and um and so we uh yeah so i said let's go for a beer because we live quite local. But how do you feel about it? Because you know that if you don't like going for a beer with me because you think I'm too alpha, Pav is the ultimate alpha.

He's the ultimate alpha. But he's an Essex alpha. He's like, I play with 11 of them, 10 of them. Oh, so you feel like you've gone properly native now. Yeah, I can handle. You're like the police officer from ID. You've gone totally native. I've watched you try and alpha people,

but these guys, they're just, you know, they've been alpha. They come out the womb, and they're having a pint. You know what I mean? They're just alpha men. And then when they have one sip of the pint, like half the pint goes.

Fuck it. Sammy, the dog, has started absolutely alpha-ing me in my own bed. He's climbing on top of the, like climbing like above my head on the pillow and I'm having to

just go, instead of like fight a dog at 3am, I'm like, I'm just moving further and further down the bed.

Is he rubbing his nuts on you? He's not, he hasn't got any nuts, I took them off. Oh, he's got the bag

still though? I took them off. He's got the, yeah, I guess so. You can't say anything though. I just take them

out of the bag though, don't I? Yeah. Is he rubbing his cock and balls on your head well yeah pretty much certainly his cock yeah terrible absolutely i'll bring me at 3am so now you gotta wash your hair every morning i do anyway so we've got two cats right but we they get shut out to a part of the house overnight where they can't get into the bed. Why don't you just do that?

Well, the problem is if there's foxes in the garden, he will go absolutely crazy. So it's difficult, isn't it? It's a balance, I think. But I do like him in the bed. I like the gang being together. We've got Lola the dog. We've got Sammy the dog.

I like us all being together because we feel like a bit of a gang. What, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory stuff? You're all in the same bed? The gang is... They've not got their own bed? The gang is testing me. They do have beds under the bed.

Sometimes they will go under the bed. I mean, this just sounds like... This is a total menagerie. It sounds chaotic. What's happening here? It does sound chaotic. Do people do that? Am I missing the point here?

Do people who have dogs generally do that? I don't know anyone who's got a dog that does that. People have dogs on their beds, yeah. Like, nice dogs. Is it hygienic? Put them under the point. Do people who have dogs generally do that? I don't know anyone who's got a dog that does that. People have dogs on their beds, yeah. Like, nice dogs. Is it hygienic? Put them in the bed.

What do you mean? I mean, they're already in my house. They're already, you know... One of them's 11 and is weeing on the sofa. So I'm having to wash the sofa cushions all the time. So you think the best course of action, knowing that, is to have the dog in your bed? Got a waterproof blanket, haven't we?

So job done. Oh, so that's fine then. Yeah, covered in piss. It waterproof blanket, haven't we? So, job done. Yeah, covered in piss. It's fine. Don't worry about it. One of them's rubbing its cock on your head. The other one's pissing all over the bed. You're saying that's fine. It's not fine. The dream. Look, I know which

way my bread's buttered. Which side. Are you getting buttered with dog jizz? Are you getting any sleep? No! No! Knowing this information that you've just been presenting our listeners with, He gets butted with dog jizz. Are you getting any sleep? No, no. What's your general, knowing this information that you've just been presenting our listeners with, what's your general sleep pattern? Talk to me about the time you start to get ready for bed and take us all the way through to the morning.

Oh, it's getting earlier and earlier. These 8pm kickoffs in the Eurozone have been absolute hell. I'll take extra time in bed, thank you very much. Yeah, just a lot of that, really. So you get ready for bed about, what, 9.30? I'm cracking on you. If I'm not working,

excuse me, I'm tired because of the dogs. If I'm not working, I'm heading to bed about 10, yeah. And what time is dog cock rub on the head? Dog cock rub on the head, I put him on the bottom of the bed at, you know, 11 o'clock.

We watch The Office. And then we fall asleep. And then, you know, 3 a.m., he's just trying to push me down the bottom of the bed. So you go and sit with, you go and sleep next to pissy Lola. And what time do you normally wake up? About 6 these days, 6.30, something like that. Yeah, I can see why you're tired. Not ideal.

You can't put them in a different room where they can have their own stuff going on. They can have their own bed in a different room and they won't be able to see the fox in the garden. They can sit under the bed. That's absolutely fine. I've made a new superhero.

Monster Energy Drink Man. Yeah, put it on. It's a great... Monster Energy Drink Man. That could be it on. It's a great... Monster Energy Drink Man. That could be one of your OnlyFans masks videos, couldn't it? You took your headphones off to put a Monster Energy box on your head so you can't hear what I'm saying. No, I couldn't hear what you said.

Sorry, what was I saying? I'm saying that it could be one of your OnlyFans mask videos, couldn't it? It could. Wasn't there a... There was a YouTuber tweet... the streamer basically like a sports streamer um who was um who was uh it was quite heartening i think he was kind of exposed as doing gay only fans uh back in the day um and he's this massive star like he's you know he did the announcement at like the draft pick and stuff like that um and it was such a lovely kind of like what where the world would have been 10 years ago to where it was now

everyone like he was just like you know i'm i'm out of here this sucks this is the worst i'm you know i'm i'm gutted that you found out about my my um my past um but everyone was like mate don't worry about it you know and in the sports space as well, which is even more kind of... That's good. It's good stuff. It's good that people feel that they can live the life as they want to. It's bad that I've just found out in a development that I wasn't expecting that you are now drinking so much Monster Energy drink,

you're buying it by the box load. Well, I mean, it just makes sense. Economically. Economically. I'm getting through one cracking through four in a day. I'm getting through one cracking on for two a day. That's not ideal. I know it's not ideal, but it is only...

The only caffeine that's in it is like... It's a coffee's worth, a strong coffee's worth from Starbucks. Yeah, but it's rotting your guts, isn't it? It's not rotting... I didn't have one yesterday. Maybe that was the problem. I've become dependent on it. Oh, it's the same way it...

One... It's the same way that expensive moisturiser gets you. It just makes your skin more and more dry, so you've got to use more and more of it. Nah, it's okay. That's fair. That's what monster drinks do to you. Someone's got in touch.

It's not gone. It just literally reviewed the same place that I got the dodgy burger from yesterday. We got the bottomless brunch and our whole group fell ill two days later. Vomiting, diarrhoea, etc. Great. If you had read that beforehand,

would you still order it? I mean, he did say it was the mocktails that did it. But I mean, if you're getting, if you're managing to get E. coli in the mocktails, it's not ideal. Peter, let's have a quick break. When we come back, we'll do a couple of emails from our lovely listeners

there's a few good ones in there don't get me wrong food was lovely but when the owner comes over and insults me apparently I'm the mother of my boyfriend just to put you in the picture

I'm only five years older than him but apparently it's my hair which I told him is naturally grey but he's decided to dig himself deeper

telling us about other people he has offended he has offended. He has no customer service. There's a lot of one-pack in that. And the owners replied, Hey, Lord, once again, I apologise for the misunderstanding regarding your relation to Josh. In my embarrassment, I may have waffled on,

but of course no offence was intended. This is big Dalton energy, this. That's amazing. Oh, I've got a lot of time for that. I never look at the reviews. Maybe I should. So I said before the break we'd do some emails. Hello at LukeandPeteShow.com is the email address.

Of course, many, many people email in all the time. We get through as many as we can. I like this one from Stefan who says, Dear Luke and Pete, while catching up on your most recent episodes, I came across one in which you wondered how many languages a person could speak. When you settled on what was basically a handful,

my mind immediately jumped to Emil Krebs, a polyglot who worked for the German Foreign Office in the early 20th century. In 1922, he assured his employer that he would be able to, quote, supply correct translations into German from the following languages. And strap yourself in for this.

Bohemian, Bulgarian, Danish, English, Finnish, French, modern Greek, Dutch, Italian, Croatian, Polish, Portuguese, Romanian, Russian, Swedish, Serbian, Spanish, Turkish, Hungarian, Western Armenian, Arabic, Chinese, Hindi, Japanese, Javanese, Korean, Malay, Manchurian, Mongolian, Eastern Armenian, Arabic, Chinese, Hindi, Japanese, Javanese, Korean, Malay, Manchurian, Mongolian, Eastern Armenian, Persian, Siamese, Tibetan, and Urdu. That makes 34 languages in which the man was confident enough to work in as a translator. But considering all the languages he knew in spoken and written form,

according to him, the total number amounted to 68. To top it all off, Mr. Krebs also had a high degree in legal training and served as a lawyer as well as a high-ranking diplomat in China. It certainly makes you wonder what the human brain would be capable of if we weren't all such fucking idiots. All the best from Berlin, Stefan. Now, the context of this

is that you and I said, well, I had a theory that I brought to the table, which is that I don't see how you can accurately be able to speak more than four or five now and some people actually think that take something like Mandarin it's so subtle

and so predisposed to the native speaker that it's actually arguably impossible for a Westerner to properly master it full stop right so I'm skeptical about this but he doesn't i mean i looked him up he does have a wikipedia page he does seem to have been a real person um i guess the only caveat is that it was a long time ago and you know stories do grow legs over

the years less less i mean i would say that um the every year to get them in the newspapers the oxford dictionary always say that we're adding more words like you know snapchat and you know all this shit no cap no cap and we um and back then they didn't do that kind of caper fewer words to learn and also who's testing you on the mongolian yeah well that's the thing i would be i would be a bit like i mean give us albanian that's closer you know what i mean give us something give us something a bit more useful and Mongolian right now. I reckon he's just working stuff out by the body language. What's the guy saying? Oh, he says that he's very happy to be here.

He's angry. You can work that out. He's angry and he wants to kill you. He's waving a sword around, Stephen. There are some people that clearly are amazingly intelligent and way above us normal types, all the usual people that you can think of. And apparently, according to his Wikipedia page,

Emil Krebs' brain was recovered and preserved by a researcher as an, quote, elite brain in the C&O Vote Institute for Brain Research in Dusseldorf. There's a book called The Maniac by Benjamin Labatou, which is a fictionalized version of the life of Johnny von Neumann, who was really important in the development of the atom bomb and a load of other stuff, computer science, AI, all this stuff. And there is a bit of chat around Johnny von Neumann

that certain people thought he might have been an example of a further advanced evolved human brain because he was just so good at so much stuff. Okay. But yeah, i don't really know what the i don't really know what the conclusion to draw from that is but according to this guy i mean he did seem to better speak all these different languages i agree with you though i wonder how rigorous the testing's being there because here's another thing i think is it like

back in the days of the old kind of travel travel first became a thing so say you were someone who traveled the old silk road you know in the 18th century or whatever and you're learning all this stuff and you're coming back to the uk well the people back in the uk know absolutely fuck all so you could you could in the land of the blind the one-eyed man is king so it could be a bit of that involved he might just know a few words and be like yeah i can do that no problem knowing that no one else can do it it's it's a reminder me of my mate who had to translate for an admiral on his ship. He was in the Navy, and he didn't speak much Spanish at all. But the Spanish on his CV, it said that he spoke fluent Spanish, and he didn't.

He knew Sam Allardyce holiday Spanish kind of thing. and he didn't he did he knew you know sam allardyce holiday spanish kind of thing and um and uh and what took place was a high level welcoming the spanish um fleet captain onto a ship um for a for an admiral's dinner whatever um and it was it was he was exposed very quickly it's not any fucking spanish and and and and the spanish translator the english the spanish to english um translator exposed very quickly as not knowing any fucking Spanish. I can believe it. And the Spanish translator, the Spanish to English translator that the Spanish admiral had very much saw this quite early

on and helped him out, but it could have been pretty catastrophic. It's quite confusing that it would have let it get to that point. Yeah, I don't know. This is recently, right? So he could have just looked it all up on Google Translate if he wanted.

If he had his phone out on the table, I suppose, yeah. But I mean, like, yeah, I would say that's certainly... Do you think that, like, do you think that you talk about evolved brains and stuff, do you think we're ever going to... Because back in the day, we would celebrate mathematicians and great thinkers and, you know, all right,

we'd throw some of them down a hill for being witches or warlocks or whatever but um intelligent people necessarily you would you would kind of they would be famous and celebrated and then they'd be really good at loads of different stuff as well yeah so now we're we we have some pretty stupid people um being celebrated and we give all the money to some pretty stupid people being celebrated and we give all the money to some pretty stupid people and the clever people don't necessarily have quite so much. So therefore, money means live longer. Are we sort of celebrating these people

and giving them all the money? Does that mean that the brains aren't going to evolve in that way because the clever people are um and not not quite as well off financially i don't know what i don't understand the question you know like to get better brains in a human body yeah that they have to live longer and um procreate more and all of that stuff right when we are giving all of the money to like celebrities and stuff yeah and influencers who are thick yeah right they're going to live longer because they have access to better health care um they they are regarded as being sexy so therefore people want to fuck them yeah

and have babies with them um and so with like clever people with the big brains are they celebrated enough so they won't be living quite as long so that's a battle you know battle of the fitness and all that they'll

their brains won't be passed on their genes won't be passed on but the thick people will be so what we should be doing then on that basis is if we were really serious

about this pairing up the most intelligent people together and making them have kids yeah exactly yeah yeah is that how you and your missus met pairing up the most intelligent people together and making them have kids. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

Yeah. Is that how you and your missus met? Yeah, like we're super friends. I think that was more opposite to track. Definitely. On the polyglot side of things, so I looked this up when I knew Stefan and emailed in. There's a term for this kind of reported mastery of all these different languages.

It's called hyper hyper poly they're called hyper polyglots and where it gets written and it's basically classed as people who have a mastery of more than six languages but where it gets really interesting is that a lot of people don't actually a lot of experts in this area experts in the brain experts in language generally don't seem to be based on what I've been able to read, that convinced that they even exist. So there's one famous case, a guy called Giuseppe Caspar Mezzofanti, who was an Italian priest in the 18th century who claimed through writings and through all these different things, he was obviously a priest who had a position of power in that in that society that he could speak 72 languages and but most people now agree that that was basically absolute

bollocks and there's no real understanding of how people could be able to do that the only kind of theories that have held any water whatsoever from what I can see is the idea of potential brain asymmetry. So when the brain develops, one half of the brain develops far bigger than the other half and obviously as we know certain parts of the brain lend themselves to linguistic ability. So he could have

been speaking all his language but he would shit his pants every day. Maybe. And the other thing is this idea of savant syndrome which is the individuals who have mental disabilities Maybe. Like he was good. Yeah. Maybe. Right. And the other thing is this idea of, of, of Savant syndrome, which is the individuals who have like mental disabilities, but demonstrate a profound skill in, and the capacity in other areas.

But there's not really, as far as I know, there's not really been like many cases of that. There's a guy called, who's just known as Christopher, who in the early 90s had learnt 16 languages, but actually had an overall non-verbal

IQ of between 40 and 70, which is actually very low, to the point of where he was actually hospitalised because he couldn't really take care of himself. But he was amazing at languages. But it's very, very rare, and it's even rarer still for people to be able to master that language and also use it in a kind of

Efficient way because they lack skills in other areas basically It's a very interesting kind of thing because people talk about how oh that there's that myth isn't it only? Human beings only use like 20% of their brain which is obviously absolute fucking nonsense is bollocks I said doesn't exist at all What have you ever heard of someone being that having a catastrophic head injury and they say oh, yeah But don't worry cuz it's only in that part of the brain that you don't use very much. It doesn't happen. Because the brain is being used all the time.

So your questions are confusing, difficult to answer, but I think the whole thing is quite mysterious. Well, look. And I'm speaking to someone who only just about speaks one language. Unless we get in with a drill, Trapan, to have a little look around

we'll never know i'll tell you my friend used to live above a guy who trepanned himself really it sounds like the sort of thing you only do once i'll tell you about it on thursday if you like all right then you tell me about that on thursday and you tell the people about that on thursday because this is the lucan peach show uh get your battery brands in uh hello lucan peach show.com uh we're on uh we'reelukeandpeetshow.com We're on Twitter. We're on the old Insta as well, at Luke and Pete show. And also TikTok, the Luke and Pete

show. So check us out there. We'll be back on Thursday the 18th of July, which is a wild number to reach so quickly this year in my brain. I feel like we haven't really had a summer. It's because you're only using 20% of your brain. Exactly. Very good point. So we'll be haven't really had a summer. It's because you're only using 20% of your brain. Exactly. Very good point.

So we'll be back then. Have a lovely week. the luke and pete show is a stack production and part of the acast creator network