The Luke and Pete Show - Wall-to-Wall Muck

Episode Date: June 11, 2026

Normal people are being price-gouged for paddling pools while conspiracy theorists insist that sun cream is population control. Summer is well and truly here.Meanwhile, the White House is tweeting about the anniversary of a gorilla’s untimely death and appears to be attaching itself to obscure Scottish electronic music. It begs the question: do right-wingers understand art?After that debate, it’s time for emails. No, we are NOT off to Mars.Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: [e-mail] Luke and Pete Show is the sometimes ridiculous, always funny podcast with Luke Moore and Pete Donaldson: two men who have time on their hands and a good idea of how to waste it. Subscribe to get your comedy podcast fix every Monday and Thursday. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Pichaud, haven't we done well? We're back again. And we're going to be presented to you half an hour of muck. Utter, muck. Get it into your vein. Wall to wall muck, I have to say. Looky Mora, it is personally hot in that there, at the south end where I live,

and I am surviving by sitting in my ecumen recording, Luke and Pichon. So there we go. I just wanted to make you feel. Guilty and not guilty jealous Every time I've done a remote record this week People have been said, I'm so hot and I'm going I'm actually a bit cold in

I've I insisted on a morning record because it's gonna get too hot to record up here later Oh I see that's why I thought you had a golf I thought you had a garou Do you want golf in Japanese is? What's that? Gorofu Is it? Yeah, Gorofu Gorofu It sounds like you're being racist but you're not are you

So not it's Garofu I have an air conditioning unit for my son's bedroom. I see. As soon as the weather turns and it starts to rain or get a bit cooler, I'm going to buy a couple more, I think. But I'm not buying them now because Amazon gals for prices when it's hot. Fools errand. Have you tried to buy a paddling pool this year?

Sickening. Absolutely sickening. Impossible. I went to two toy shops, no doing. I went to B&Q, no doing. I was thinking, God, at this point, I'm going to have to make something out of those bricks. I just took out of that wall. Oh dear.

I'll have to make my own paddling pool. But I've got enough on in that area. So you can buy one line, I don't know. I bought one online, but it's taking a little while to arrive. So we're just so dry in the garden. Yeah. I mean, it's frankly astonishing how hot it is, has been in May, particularly. I mean, I'll accept it in July.

quite hot and then doesn't it always kick off off and then it gets a bit cool we're sort of going oh I'm prepared for it now I'm mentally prepared for the heat give us it but give us it in July give us it in August at the Reading Festival well no because I mean ultimately that can't be true because the two days that we had in May

were the two hot as May days ever weren't they so right yeah but I mean it's almost like yeah but it was hot it quite early last time wasn't it and then it was kind of it calmed down after a while do you know what was man did the COVID spring was well-nonged Well, nice.

Yeah, yeah, that was decent, yeah. Sat in the south side with a cold one. Because that's when Letticio first lost his mind, didn't it? Because he was like, he was human anyway. And he was like, oh, all of a sudden it's really nice weather. And I felt like saying, and I thought, but what do you mean by that? Do you mean the government can control the weather? Okay, if they can, then I'm not sure they would just do it to piss people off for no.

I mean, what would be the motivation? Right, yeah. Oh, because we weren't allowed outside. Yeah, I mean, just, yeah, let's make this even, because there's no advantage of us making it nice weather. And also, it's the summer, you dickhead, you absolute dickhead. Also, the one thing I would add is that if you were a government in power, and you'd have to get people to suck up quite a lot of shit news,

like you can't leave your house, right? They might probably want to claim that they can make it nice weather in the UK, and stick with the Tories because we can make the weather nice. That's quite a convincing argument. They're not just going to do it in secret, are they? No. Do you remember I told you about that guy who my wife kind of tangentially knows, who is like this mad conspiracy theorist.

Right, yeah, he's in deep. He's just a really, really deeply strange guy. But his current thing, it always happens around this time of year, is he's massively against sun cream. Right. Okay, yeah. So for some mad reason, people who disposed to that kind of position, they have a really big distrust of sun cream as a, quote, population controlling tool,

like, i.e., the sun cream is what gives you the cancer, and that's what keeps the population down. And they presumably love cancer treatment, like they can't get enough of it. They're pro-cancer treatment, presumably. I don't know. I don't know. Well, if they're going to get skin cancer, they're going to have. to decide one way or to other, aren't they? That's amazing. Absolutely amazing. It's just

it's one of those ones, which is it's quite a lot of mental gymnastics to get to that place. Yes, it is. I mean, just to put sunscreen on, what is it, what are they saying it does? It just stops people procreating or what? I think the sun cream itself causes cancer. Right, okay. So that the cancer. the drugs can be sold to people. So they think of their kind of like a pharmaceutical industry plant. It was the other day he came out of it.

I'm fucking, was it Andrews Townsend that came out with it a while back? So Andros Townsend, he's getting there, isn't he? He's getting, he's getting a little, he's gone a bit, his delivery is a little bit like Chiquarito's kind of like right wing manosphere stuff.

But he had one a couple weeks ago where he was basically saying, The logic kind of works for me, but the result is preposterous. He said, why do we shade our eyes from the sun that is created by God, but we don't share, we don't wear sunglasses indoors, you know, shading our eyes from light that is made by man. And so once you start talking about God and man, you're like, right, okay, well, you're in a space that I don't necessarily believe with anyway.

kind of like, well, right, okay, so where are we at here? He basically said that the sun, when the sun hits your retina, your body produces natural sort of melanin to deal with the sun. But if you're wearing sunglasses, your body doesn't know that it's, you know, that it's, that it needs that. So the logic is like sound, but I presume relatively... Yeah, but... So that's far under the kind of,

the variant of the conspiracy, which is you can build a quote natural tolerance to it. But no dermatologist will say anything other than any tanning whatsoever is your skin already being damaged, right? And your skin will thicken over time as a result of that because of the UV exposure you're getting. It doesn't prevent the cumulative damage that causes cancers in your skin. Right. And I do that, I mean, the one thing I would say is I do think there's some evidence that suggests that, too much blue light to your eyes, particularly near bedtime, is bad for you,

and will affect your sleep and therefore damage your health. And so I think, to me, it doesn't feel like they're kind of mutually exclusive. If you want to wear glasses to shield yourself from sort of blue light or, you know, indoor kind of lights or whatever, then, I mean, you know, do so. I mean, plenty of people wear screen-protecting glasses when they work on a laptop all day. So, yeah. But I just don't think they're kind of related, to be honest. One of the things that when I looked this up a while ago, I mean, this is, this is,

fucking classic because you know like a big part of the anti-sumcreen movement is also surprise surprise anti-semitic right okay good good stuff because they basically link it directly to big farmer which they then link incorrectly to quote like shadowy elites and then link that to uh jewish jewish control the world yeah every single conspiracy theory somewhere and i would go back to anti-semitic behavior always the oh was the i was the jews isn't it i was the um it's yeah the the did you see that the White House last week did a post I mean the White House Twitter account is just demented

He's just a lot of liberal Even for them It is bonkers A load of Just got some fucking You know, temps Just some Nazi queuing on temps Just tweeting away

But they posted about Harambe Ten years gone The White House account The White House account It's just It is just UFC on the lawn. You've got the White House account

tweeting about the death of the Harambia, a true patriot. And you forget that that was, he was really beloved by the old four channels and stuff, funny, Harambe. Yeah, that was a bizarre situation. But the controversy I saw

the other day was that the White House official account posted a video with a soundtrack from Boards of Canada. right okay yeah everyone's like what record sue these fuckers like and i just talked to myself has some staff or some temp grabbed a board you know bors of Canada yeah yeah yeah yeah do you think people want a little kind of um a little refresher basically it's the sort of post hardcore kind of

midwest emoie kind of no that's not borga canada that's baza canada no it's not borser i'm going to tell you exactly what it is our secretive scottish electronic producers oh oh who That's not I was thinking about I know it Carry on Yeah I know it's not

Do you want a refresher Of Bodekada What Midwest Ema I know it Yeah Yeah Who is I thinking of The guano whips

Yeah Do you want Do you want a refresher On the vegetarian movie No no Loads of steak I know No loads of steak

Delicious Borsacada Like secretive Scottish Scottish electronic music producers Like pioneers They're kind of guys

Who never do interviews You never know They put out One record Every fucking 15 years And Every single person who thinks they're better than you just masturbates to them all the time, right?

Yeah, the, the absolute dictionary definition of the most anti-Donald Trump thing you could ever think of, right? Yeah. And, I mean, to an extent, as proven by you, you have to really be ahead to know Borders Canada or not. It's quite obscure. It's not just grabbing a Bruce Springsteen song, right? And they put a Bors of Canada tune under this White House official video.

And obviously, as I said, people have lost their minds. And it got me thinking, I wonder, is that like some, as you said, like temp staffer who has done a deal with the devil, is making good coin working for the Trumps, but also loves like really, really well respected, critically acclaimed, like obscure Scottish experimental electronic music? Or has someone just grabbed something at random and just chucked it under there? I almost guaranteed that whatever music was used would have been used elsewhere on a meme.

Do you know what I mean? Like, uh... Right, okay. Remember that? Was it, was it a Sky King? Was that a flame and lip song? Sounds like a flame and lip song or maybe Mercury Rev or something. That music that was used there.

Um, that was always used for stuff like that. And so I sort of think that, they, I mean, they don't have any art in their soul, do they? No. It doesn't seem like, you know, the old staffers. It doesn't, it doesn't, it doesn't seem like, um, any of them have any kind of, like, I mean, it's really hard to think of. So if you think of a properly extreme right wing,

because if you're describing the current US administration as, you know, probably quite crypto-fascistic, but essentially extreme right-wing populism, it's hard to think of a figure in that area that has got any kind of interest in the arts at all. I mean, I know that, like, Hitler was, I'm not comparing to Hitler, but as an example, Hitler liked Wagner and he painted.

But other than that, he seemed to kind of think of creative arts as like the devil's tool really, didn't he? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, they're never that close to the arts. And, you know, you just look at how they don't understand it. They don't understand it's mean. Because they can't attribute it value for it. Yeah. It's like, you know, Donald Trump and the, what's the Kennedy Center?

Like all that stuff. and like you just like well they don't they don't understand it they they don't understand the importance of it yeah Trump's um kind of response to the Kennedy Center was basically starting the name of the Kennedy and Trump Center that's that dumb yeah maybe I understand if I put my name on it

that's just kind of what I do but the but the like properly like progressive overly progressive strange lefty types they yeah they love the arts and don't care about anything else so like they'll just do art for the sake of it right and have no, the cliche and stereotype would be

they have no business acumen whatsoever, right? Yeah. Have they got a Patreon? Yeah. Have they got a Patreon? Has the AMF got a Patreon? It does confuse people of that right wing type if they can't put a price on something, doesn't it?

That's why you see, I honestly believe this. That's why you see, you know, things like a more kind of obvious example would be like, you know, the Tory's canceling Shawstart, right? because they're like, well, it's costing loads of money and we can't really understand where the money's coming back from and it's all a bit it's all a bit fucking wishy-washy

oh well, these poor kids they'll get confidence and better skills and the long term, maybe in 15 years time you'll see the benefit because they'll have better careers and they're like, well, I can't put a price on that so I don't fucking care. So I'm getting rid of that. I'm not ring fencing that because I don't get it.

They work like they've got shareholders. Yes, exactly. It's the price for everything value is nothing as I always say. that's what it feels like to me anyway Peter, should we do a little bit of stuff from our listeners so a bit of correspondence

and some stories that have been sent in or that kind of good stuff Should we do a battery Because it's a Thursday Let's do a battery We've not done a battery for a little while Yeah we've had a few battery What have we got here?

A few batteries plopped in the Oh we got one We got one It's more of a kind of A kind of more broad email anyway But it's from Jake Our friend Jake Hello to you Jake

He says hi Pete Hi Luke This is my third battery submission The first was successful. The second wasn't read out, so presumed unsuccessful. Ruido batteries founding a TV remote and Dublin hotel room, not particularly confident given the location. We have had many, many Rueido batteries before,

so that's not a new player. But he also asked, do either of you have any sense of how many batteries are now in the battery, Daddy? I smell a project for Bruno. Get on the case for that, Bruno. And then finally, Jake asks about, or kind of talks about Poutine, which we talked about, I think, a while back when we were in Canada. Nice, yeah.

I love Poutine, I know you do too. It's difficult to not like it, really. Chips, gravy cheese. I mean, yeah, exactly, yeah. Jake says I was in Banff a couple of years ago. Do you know where Banff is, Pete? I'm going to give that a Google. I'm familiar.

It's in Colorado. It's like a big resort town. I've been there. I've been to Banff. Not Canada. Sorry, not Canada, sorry. I know why I say Colorado. It's a,

It's a kind of national park in Canada. Hmm. You wouldn't be having Putin in Colorado. No. Why not? It's only over... It's a Canadian dish, isn't it? Yeah, but I reckon you can probably secure some.

But Jake said the hotel restaurant in Banff did a breakfast poutine. Oh, yes please. Yes, please. Friedo teeto, chorizo, cheese curd, poached eggs and hollanda sauce. Probably the best breakfast of eating. The photo included looks sensational. That's 2,000 calories. That just is 2,000 calories, isn't it?

Just bang, efficient. Get it in me. Don't eat you eat the rest of the day. Get it in you. Get it in you. I will be eating about, I will be eating about 1pm. Ruido is the battery that Jake got in touch. I told you it's not a new player.

Yeah, and it's not a new player. I don't even need to check it, mate. No, I know, I know. We've had it loads of times. Shall we move on to a message from Jason from Missouri and the USA? Hello, Luca Pete. Questions for Pete? rumors of a 2026 Toyota Century were floating around for a bit in 2025.

If they did build a new century, what features would you want to have? And what features of today's cars would you want to avoid at all costs? Questions for Luke? Are there any American vehicles that you or the wife have access to? Would like to have imported into the UK? Thank you, the iPod, Jason from Missouri, USA. You'd like one of those little robotaxis, wouldn't you? Popping around?

I've seen them, I've seen them knocking about. Yeah, I've seen them on test drives around near the office. Have you really? I remember when I got married in the US in 2016 My brother and Nora Hart rented a car Because obviously they came over And the car they rented And my fucking God

It was gigantic It was like driving Buckingham Palace Yeah I mean they've got the parking spaces And the roads to match I suppose I have a problem with DeVolbo parking it around here Yeah Have you ever seen If you've ever seen

I've seen one cyber truck in the UK and apparently some Albanian bloke who drives it around. They've only really, I didn't even think they were road legal. Do you have to make him road legal? I think it's something about he managed to get a road legal in Albania and then it moves. But I'm fairly certain you can't, I think he's, I think he's not allowed to drive it anymore. I think that's what I read. Right.

Because it's just too sharp. Like we, the reason why cars have rounded corners now is because they shouldn't sort sharp. And the ones that are road legal have to have like rubber, you know, sort of protection basically around the road. It's an absolute sure test of being a dickhead buying a fucking cybertrile. But like seeing it out of context with all of the other massive cars in America, because you see them all over the place in America now. And they are kind of like normal, big SUV kind of pickup truck sized, you know, Ford RAM kind of size.

But over here, it just looks like a fucking boss. They're absolutely bizarre. I'm telling you right now, you wouldn't be able to drive one in the neighbourhood of London where I live. You just wouldn't be to get down the road. You wouldn't. You'd have to go out of a crawl because you'd just be hitting stuff.

And the roads I live on, they have cars parked down both sides. You have to wait for the other parts to come through and stuff. There's no way. There's no way. The first time I ever saw a cyber truck was, I was in Cape Cod

and I was in a car park right by the ocean waiting for someone's turnout so we'd go for a walk and a cyber truck pulled into the car park. And honestly, I just fucking laughed. I couldn't stop myself laughing out of that. It's preposterous. It looks like a fucking design

that would be rejected for the new Blade Runner movie. It's a proper kind of retro futuristic fucking cast off of a car. Yeah. Well, yeah. They reckon that it was back on the Apple 2 computer, there was a little sort of game that was quite popular where you could design your own car

and the basic design that you get a gift given at the start basically looks exactly like a cybertri. And they reckon that... What game was this? I don't know, it was an Apple 2 game, Cyber Truck. Just type in Cyber Truck Apple 2 game. And they reckon that Elon Musk being a cyber nerd. Probably saw that back in the day.

And, you know, ever since wanted a car that looks like a piece of shit. I was reading a really interesting article this morning about the proposed SpaceX IPO floating, flotation. Oh, right. Okay. It didn't go well. They're targeting, well, at the time of recording it hasn't happened yet, but they're targeting the biggest plotation ever, right? They're looking for like a 1.75 trillion valuation or something.

And someone was delving into the things that Musk needs to deliver, that he's committed to deliver for him to get paid. Yeah. And one of them is a million people living on Mars. It's like, yeah. I'm not well-versed in this subject, so I'm fully pretty prepared to tell them I'm out of touch or I'm wrong or whatever.

But is he just making stuff up? And people are going, yeah, great. Yeah. Yeah, fine. Yeah, put that on the list. Because they're floating. So what has happening is, I believe they're floating SpaceX as a space exploration,

but also AI company. It's the same thing. Oh, God. Right. So his AI company is the same company, right? And so it's going to be an AI company that also does rockets and delivery of, payloads into space and colonisation of other places.

And the reason for that is because he is convinced, apparently, the future of AI data centres is going to be in orbit because there's no one to complain about it. There's more space. And they've got a track record, to be fair to them, of delivering payloads up to orbit quite regularly, Starlink and all the rest of it, right? But ahead of their flotation, the big, big, big rocket they need to get themselves going. Basically, a big reusable rocket is a really big part of it, obviously. And I did an episode about reusable rockets on Where's My Jetpack years ago with Sarah Crudus, which is really interesting, about how one of the biggest barriers to kind of decent space exploration, even kind of near Earth space exploration, is the fact that no one can really reuse the rockets very often.

And that's a big barrier. And so that's what SpaceX are kind of pioneering. And they've been way ahead of everyone else doing it. But the point being that like something like seven of the last 12 big rocket launches have failed. Yeah. And so they've had to splash in the sea or they've not got off the launch pad or whatever. So he's staring down the barrel of this,

what it looks like to me is he's staring down the barrel of this big flotation, which is really important for various different reasons. And he's just like, he's just making, yeah, but don't worry because by 2040, we'll have a million people living on Mars. It's like, you fucking won't. Like, I mean, that is not going to be possible.

I don't know that'll ever be possible, right? But does that not enhance his, Hans is kind of rep by putting these stupid things in there they're not designed for him to actually ever make them he's just sort of he's just been a sausage because he thinks that kind of enhances the

you know if I just feel like when it comes to flotation of companies there should be rules like right yeah but like if you're in a private company and you want to get a load of free PR by saying that's a stupid shit I've not got a problem with that but you are asking people by the very nature of flotation

to invest in your company to make it a big public, like, you know, a public, public, a public, a public listed

company, right, you have to, like, I feel like you should have to be living in a world where if you're

telling investors to invest in your company, you should be telling them what's actually happening. Yeah. Well, he is,

and he's basically, he's given them, he's given them options, sort of going, look, look, this is on my list. This is about them. People are believing in,

well, well, that's, people who are investing in that sort of thing, they're, uh, they shouldn't be, because he's an idiot.

, the whole edifice crashes at some point, surely. I mean, but again, it's one of those things where people probably don't, what are people getting, it's like AI itself, isn't it? It's this kind of thing, this nebulous thing that people aren't really extracting that much value out of. Was it Uber? They used a year's worth of tokens that they purchased in AI in about four months, and they're not sure they got much value out of using the AI tokens as a company.

And that's Uber, and that's Uber saying that, for crying out loud. I remember, it might have been when I was doing that series, where's my jetpack, talking to people about the people we interviewed and stuff, about how the, on the space exploration, this is quite relevant to the AI thing, I guess, because you could then probably use autonomous, you know, robots or whatever to go up there. A lot of the experts in space exploration,

exobiologist, exo fucking whatever, they think that, human-led space exploration is a load of from ego-led nonsense anyway. Because it's ultimately just PR, because humans are fucking terrible at survival in space. You have to build so much stuff to get them to survive. They can't deal with distances. They can't deal with high speeds.

And the actual fact, what you want to be doing is you want to be sending autonomous vehicles and things like that up there that can send astonishing amounts of day. Now, of course, we are already doing that. Yeah, we're doing that. Yeah, but we are already doing that. But the point being that there's no point sending a human being to Mars.

Like, unless you genuinely think the Earth is going to blow up or is going to be irredeemable and you have a desperate need to preserve the human race, that's really the only circumstances in which it's worth it. Because there was this other scientist, I forget his name now, he took a really controversial Harvard astrophysicist. I interviewed him in for it. He was the guy who was saying that Uroboros interplanetary item was possibly of alien origin. And they couldn't get a good enough look at it quickly enough

because it was basically, it's very rare for an item outside the solar system to come through that close. And it did. And he said, look, it could be alien created. And we need to look at it. And everyone was like, that's bollocks. That'll never happen. The chance of that are fucking infantissimo.

But what he was saying was, his thesis that he published years ago was like, you're far more likely to see technology from alien civilizations than aliens themselves for that exact reason. So you need to look at it. Yeah, because you said that stuff. So the idea you're going to put a million people on Mars anyway

is, it's just for the birds, it's like a fucking, it's a ridiculous pipe dream. And if people are investing money, large quantities of money on that basis because they believe in the cult of Elon Musk and they're fucking stupid. It's a fool in their money soon being parted

because he has said they're going to have people on Mars I think from 2020 onwards and there's nowhere near it yet, nowhere near it. No. But he said that, I mean, he can't really, they're still promising, they've been promising a fucking Tesla sports car

for like 10 years. Remember Hyperloop? That was a vibe. Yeah, he put a shitty little tunnel in Vegas, I didn't recall. That was his big thing. But yeah, so he did it. He dug a tunnel under Vegas that Tesla's could go under. Oh, well done.

It's just a bit of a joke. A rare example of Britain actually doing some infrastructure. Thank you very much, exactly. All right, let's get out of here, Peter. Let's go out of it. We've been looking Pete short, and we'll be back on Monday for more of this muck. if you would like to say hello why don't you

Hello at Lentonpeachot.com is the way to do that I do Jason's question about a 2026 Toyota century I would not have any I would have it mainly made of wood because I find modern cars

too much plastic and I want more dead and dying trees in my cars attaching sense to not wish to end exactly Fairly well we're off to Mars

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