The Luke and Pete Show - Wallet, keys… revolver

Episode Date: April 7, 2022

How many slaps do you think it takes to cook a chicken? The answer lies inside today’s show. We also learn the AMAZING reason why a man lived in an airport... for 14 years!Oh and we hear why Pete should NEVER be allowed a gun...Do you deserve our FA Cup commemorative stamps? Let us know why at [e-mail] or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Feel free to give us a follow while you're there! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Good afternoon insurrectionists I'm Pete Donaldson and I'm joined by Luke Moore and this is Luke and Pete's show we basically every single day well as long as it's a Monday or Thursday we sit in this room

and we basically talk nonsense for half an hour why would you say every single day? emotionally for me, it's a seven-day endeavour. Yeah. Endless. Life in general.

Endeavour, yeah. You might, if you've been in London around one particular roundabout, you may even have seen a little advert for Look and Picture on the roundabout. It's so exciting.

We've been doing this for such a long time and then all it takes is someone to just put us on a roundabout for a day. It makes my heart sing, to be quite frank. So if you've just kind of popped onto your Amazon or your Spotify or whatever to listen to the little beat, you're, hello, this is us. This is what we do.

So I haven't actually seen it. Right. But you told me it's on quote. I mean, so this is the thing. This will be insightful to our listeners. Right. Whenever, within the company that we co-own, whenever I do something that's vaguely good,

I won't shut up about it for like a month. Okay. Right? Right. Whenever you do something that's good, you just basically just chuck a quick WhatsApp out to a couple of select people and move on with your life. Bury it.

Yeah. Good day, bury bad news. And in many, I know what people are thinking here. They're thinking, well, I'd rather be Pete than be Luke because Luke sounds like a right bore. You'd be absolutely right.

But as a result of your very low-key approach to this excellent news, you probably haven't sold it. Have you told the producer? No. No, that's the point, actually. Imagine how shocked he'll be. And you haven't told me anything other than...

He'll think he's pressed the wrong button. Because I think to most people, if you did a podcast, which you really like doing, and it was your own idea and everything, and it got a big billboard on the big roundabout in London, you'd be quite proud of that.

Right. All I know is it's on the Holland roundabout. I don't know what that is. Yeah, I don't know where it is. No, it's near Shepherd's Bush. So if you're in Shepherd's Bush and you're listening today, on Thursday,

yeah, it'll be on the bloody roundabout, to be quite frank. So it went up on the 1st of April, I believe. I believe so, yes. And it wasn't a joke. Wasn't a joke, wasn't a trick, wasn't a nasty trick from Amazon. And it's going to be up for a week, so it will still be there at time of release today. Maybe, maybe not. You don't know anything about this, do you? I don't know anything about this.

Have you been pranked? Someone just called you and said, do you want to be on a billboard on a roundabout? It's not one of those roundabout billboards where you go, will you marry me? It's like that on a big bed sheet. Just says Luke and Pete show that you park yourself. This roundabout is sponsored by the Luke and Pete show, one of those little kind of brass fixtures.

We should sponsor a roundabout or a battery. We don't need to at the moment. Right. Okay, we haven't got the cash. No, and also we've got our own thing. We've got our own thing. So if you go and pass the Holland Roundabout. If you've seen it.

In West London. If you need to park up on the roundabout and take a picture, feel free. Send a photo. Send a photo. If you've got one of those dash cams and you've driven past it at speed, give us the footage.

Outside of Uber drivers, people don't really have dash cams here, do they? I've seen quite a lot of people with dashcams I don't understand why they must be quite dangerous drivers they're just constantly seeing trouble I never see trouble with my car I believe they're very prevalent in certain parts of Europe

yeah you see them a lot in Russia Japan quite a lot as well but then you know it's all about but I think I think I've seen a lot of dashcam footage in Russia because the people trying to jump in front of cars and stuff to get insurance, like really, you know, it's kind of like funny. You see a lot of those funny videos.

That's how you see a lot of explosions and war footage and stuff. It's because they're already filming because people will just roll back and crunch the front bit. And so I say, say well you did that so well I'm filming it I know exactly what I did so it's a good little insurance

good little insurance policy so you know over the last week I carry a gun put it on the put on the dashboard no you don't I do

potato gun I have actually been out for dinner with people before where one of them was just announced he's got a gun yeah I never leave

home without it what where was that in the US right I think I'll never leave home without it. What? It's got some more waste down there. Where was that? In the US. Right. I think I'll never leave. Concealed carry permit.

I've got a gun on my belt. It's like, okay. You could be such a... We're going to crack a barrel. I mean, to be fair, statistically, America is quite dangerous. Is there any fish in those barrels?

Yeah, sure. Or if I can fire them away. Yeah, I guess so. But I mean, it must... It would sort of scare me and give me a lot of solace at the same time. barrels yeah sure if i can fire them away yeah i guess i guess so but i mean it must um it would sort of scare me and give me a lot of solace at the same time but the thing is you and i'm not defending it because i i think i said this on an earlier episode quite recently that was just more

stuff to carry in it wallet keys revolver yeah and it's big and bulky and like do you put it in your bag yeah and you lose your bag. They've got your gun. Oh, mate. What's this, tips? I don't know. I think they should be like mittens. It should be chained to you at any time. There are a lot.

I mean, I don't want to sound like I'm defending the whole thing because I think for us it's mad. Guns are cool, aren't they? There are plenty of people out there. I know that the great LC's got a gun, for example, in his house. As is his right. And he stores it properly. He's got all the safety stuff. And he does the courses, does all that kind of stuff that you're supposed to do. And so, you know, whatever, it's up to him, it's his house. I'd stand on my roof and wave it around.

I don't, that's exactly what I'm saying. That's why I shouldn't be allowed in. Statistically, there must be people like you in America. And that's where the problem is. But imagine if they gave everybody, look, it's been nice. It's been real. Yeah, okay, fine. We haven't had guns for the longest time.

Give every single person, every last person in the UK a revolver. What's happened to you? But a pink one. Well, I like the Chris Rock solution. The Chris Rock solution to gun violence is... Make the bullets really expensive. Make the bullets for $10,000 each.

It's good, isn't it? Yeah. Because that's the most important bit. Because I remember watching a war film when I was a child. Kids would just find bullets and put them in a vice and hit it with a hammer. Oh, really? Yeah.

How have I never heard of that before? The firing of the bullet is quite a simple mechanism, I suppose. You've got to hit it really hard up the arse. So you can create your own, really, can't you? I don't put you in that in a gun safety video. But it's the gunpowder

and the bits and bobs. The bullet needs to be hit really hard up the arse. Right up the arse. Get that pin right up the arse. So yeah, it's difficult, isn't it? You're just hunting turtles coming up with a big barrel

full of pears. It's true. Pears in a barrel. It is baffling. Shout out to all the pears. Yeah, definitely. I don't think the pear is a very underrated fruit. Actually, do you know what? it is baffling but Pete shout out to all the pears yeah definitely I think the pear is a very underrated fruit

yeah actually do you know what I was having a we were having a bit of a boozy conversation late on the beach when I was on holiday

with some of some of the people who maybe aren't their community there basically yeah and I was brilliant because one of them

was a guy called Terry he's amazing right he was basically just like Logan Roy right he looked like Logan Roy and he was brilliant because one of them was a guy called Terry he's amazing he was basically just like Logan Roy he looked like Logan Roy and he was really rich and he was

he was also very acerbic but he was lovely as well so unlike Logan Roy and he got so you picture Logan Roy and then just put a holiday

a holiday kind of hat on him and a holiday t-shirt that's my holiday hat fuck off and at one point Terry said to me it's called Terry he goes oh yeah you know I've never made much money really in my life And a holiday t-shirt. That's my holiday hat. Fuck off. And at one point, Terry said to me, it's called Terry.

He goes, oh yeah, you know, I never made much money really in my life, but I was really happy. And I was like, okay. You have.

Because you're here. And people were saying that he was wealthy. The point I was going to say was after I got to know him a bit more, because he was actually very acerbic and quite,

in his own way, quite intimidating. Because he obviously knew a lot about the world and he had done what he had done. done and i said but when i got to know him a bit better after a few drinks this one night i said to him you know terry does anyone ever tell you just like logan roy and he said oh no i know who that is yeah but no one said that to me before and he sat there like just like logan roy but he had like a glass of wine a glass of wine in his hand looking into the distance and after about 10 seconds he just looked back at me and went,

I guess what you're trying to say is you think I'm a grizzled old fuck. And I was like, that's exactly what Logan Roy would have said. But anyway, that's all a little bit of chutney, because what I wanted to say to you, Pete, you know we were talking about holidays over the last week or two. I don't know how this happened. This happens to the best of us, I'm sure. I was on Wikipedia looking around,

and I found a Wikipedia article, slightly related to holidays, because it was about airports. And it was a definitive list of people who have lived in airports. In airports. So you know that Tom Hanks film? Yeah.

Like that, but in real life. Right. And for them to qualify, they have to have lived in there for longer than a week now I'm going to ask you how you think it's possible people can live in airports

because where do they go what do they do where do they stay I don't really know how it works do you know how it works well it's like a 24 hour place with showers and toilets

but I'm presumed you just get moved on all the time yeah and you just move to the next sector I suppose but yeah you would if you are a security guard in charge of an airport

and someone is able to evade you and live in an airport for years and years, I don't think you're doing your job properly. Do you know when I worked in that big supermarket and one Sunday I just turned up, said I was dead, and went home again and then came back later? And the supermarket was so big, no one knew. Yeah.

It must be a bit like that. That's Dave's department. Near the giraffe. I've been doing other stuff over that side of the supermarket. Anyway, there's lots of people living in airports for all sorts of really unfortunate reasons. I don't want to go into that because obviously that's very difficult and give more

power to them and we wish them all the best. But the thing that caught my eye is there's a guy called Wei Jianguo, right? Chinese guy okay and he lived in at time of recording he still lives in beijing capital international airport and that on this wikipedia page there's a list of reasons why people are living in these airports and sometimes it will be like a really unfortunate situation where he's handing they've been handing their passport and they've tried to lose citizenship or something they're a citizen of nowhere which is like an awful way to be or They've been handing their passport and they've tried to... They lose citizenship or something and they're a citizen of nowhere, which is like an awful way to be, or they've been denied asylum

somewhere and they've got nowhere to go. This guy, right, this is the official reason why he has been living in an airport for 14 years and counting. Right? Wanted to smoke and drink without his family bothering him. Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha! Yeah. So he's in Beijing, Capital International can drink without his family bothering him. Yeah. So he's in Beijing Capital International Airport and he's been there for 13 to 14 years. He still lives in the airport but comes out occasionally. Yeah. Where does he get his money from? How does he get back in? Where's Zhang Zhou? Where's Zhang Zhou?

Is it Zhou? Either way. And there's another guy that caught my eye, Bayram Tepeli, who lived for 18 years at a Turk airport in Turkey, of course, because he ran away from his family and he worked at the airport for a while, but he had nowhere to live, so he just stayed there.

And that airport closed in 2019, so he just moved to the new one. And now he's living in the new one. The thing about... I'm looking at a picture of where uh zhang zhou and he very much like he's not making he's not not making it obvious that he's living there because basically there's two banks of chairs and he's just in the middle spread out with a court on the floor with like balls i think possibly a camping stove yeah just just having a bit of nosh people People aren't looking at him going,

that's something to like that. Yeah, he's been living at the airport for almost a decade now and he's reportedly having the time of his life at one of the busiest air hubs in the world. Beijing International Airport is very nice as airports go, but look at all this stuff he's got.

He's got like a bowl of fish um he's got loads of rice and food and noodles and spices and tomatoes and he's he's and plum wine by the looks of things he's having a great time bless his socks yeah good on i don't know where he gets the food i don't know where he gets the resources um he can actually go back home anytime but he simply refuses to do so uh he's uh yeah he's actually uh gone home to, but he simply refuses to do so. He's actually gone home to get clothes, kitchenware from his house, and he's put them in an airport trolley. So there you go, he just rolls around.

He gets a monthly government subsidy amounting to $150 since he was laid off from work. He only leaves the airport if he's in need of life's necessities that he could not find in the Beijing airport. What couldn't you find in the Beijing airport. What couldn't you find in the Beijing airport? Is it a big airport?

Yeah, huge. How many airports are there in Beijing? A lot? Oh, it's probably three or four. But Beijing, the main one,

is a big boy. Fuzzy brushes for toothbrushes. Oh, yeah. You get them in the toilet. Have you ever used one of those? You have.

I have, yeah. I've never used it. What are they like? It's a powdery toothpaste. Because back in the day before toothpaste was invented people used to brush their teeth with tooth powder didn't they

yeah just like that pretty much yeah that's pretty crazy but that in the morning do you reckon you have to go to

Wetherspoons and have a pint at 5am every day or you know it's a bit of a travel hack if you're travelling overnight if you're travelling for 8 hours let's do Donaldson's travel hack how many you're travelling overnight, if you're travelling for eight hours. Let's do Donaldson's travel hack.

How many have you got? Just one? Just one main one. For now. On the way back from St Lucia, eight, nine hour flight. Just don't get shitted. Yeah. Because you feel better when you get back.

You don't feel half drunk, half hungover, not very well slept. You actually feel all right. I see people who decide to get drunk on overnight planes where when they get the other end, there's some kind of responsibility. And that can even just mean having to get home.

And think, what are you doing? We've been on a national flight where the designated driver has been unsafe to drive when they got there. Definitely. It's a terrible, terrible thing to do. My friend Dan,

who travels all the time for work, or used to before COVID, like literally, he would do like 200 flights a year and he had it down pat. Exactly, airport time,

time to get there, where to go. Obviously, he got the benefit of being such a frequent traveler that he got these different perks. Yeah. But interestingly,

he said to me, so, because you, if you're a frequent flyer for your business, you can eat in the lounges right right

basically never eat at times on the plane that they want you to eat because it's mad yeah

you've got to wait too long to get some food and then you take another hour to get to sleep overnight it's just like or they'll give you breakfast and it'll be in your mind it'll be 3am

yeah it just fucks with your system makes your jet lag much worse so he never eats a single thing on the plane, ever. He just eats on the... In the lounge or when he gets there. Yeah, but then you're going on a list, aren't you? What do you mean?

If the clock you're not eating on the flight, they think you've got drugs up your bum. Do they really? Yeah. You get a little... I didn't know that. I'll ask him about that. Marking your name, yeah.

I'll ask him about that. Yeah, maybe he likes getting explored. I'm starting to think about what job he's got now. He's always travelling yeah but he said one of his hacks is never eat on the plane and do you know what

I actually thought about that so when I was doing that transfer so when we flew back I was talking to you about last week or earlier this week or whatever it was

the journey was about 30 hours door to door and for the third strong that innit yeah and for the third strong that in it and for the third and final flight was the overnight flight where they were going to give you dinner at like i guess 9 p.m i didn't want it so we ate in the airport yeah and i just turned down the meal which is hard for me because i never turned down food and it's much better yeah much better because by the time it came around for the little breakfast thing, it was actually, I was actually quite hungry.

It was felt like a reasonable time to eat. It was a lot easier. So I think also the airport food, although it's massively improved, so the airline food is a lot better now.

It's still a bit weird, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, and it's just, I mean,

we're having chicken and some kind of red chicken came around and stuff. But you're a business mate. What do they give service for business? Not on the way back. Do you know how many tickets did I? But on the way in business, what do they serve you up?

Foie gras and all sorts. I can't remember, to be honest. I can't remember. But again, it's an unwelcome time, isn't it? Because you're like, I want to get my head down. Speaking of chicken, do you know that it only takes 23,034 slaps to cook a chicken? True. Who's been slapping a chicken?

So if you took a chicken breast and put it on a chopping board, or as my wife calls it, a cutting board, and slapped the chicken breast 23,304 times, when you finished it would be cooked. Because that would get hot, I suppose, when you slap. I think it's just the energy. Right, okay. And you just keep doing that until the innards of the chicken are cooked?

Yeah, apparently you could cook it with one slap if you could slap it at 1,665 metres per second. That would cook the chicken. And everyone can. If they want it enough, I would say. I thought you were going to say and then everyone claps then, like on that internet meme.

Have you seen that internet meme? I mean, obviously you've seen it. And everyone claps. And then everyone cheered. Oh, and everyone cheered, yeah. I was reading now and there didn't happen of the year awards entries.

There were three bangers, weren't there? Yeah. They are just demented. What kind of people are doing them? I find some of those tweets offensive because there's just no joy in their soul. But the top three last year

were absolutely amazing. Explain to people listening what it is in case they don't know. It's basically if there's a bit of a turn up for the book, something strange happens, something odd happens, something you should be celebrated for or not celebrated for, something happens in your life that you tweet about,

that you Facebook about, that you tell people about, Instagram about, but it's very clear that you've clearly got a point to make and it didn't actually happen. Yeah. And someone finds them, puts them on Twitter and everyone has a good old snark at them.

So the example would be, and I don't, I don't, as you know, I don't really like the snarking at people on social media. I think there's a lot more harm

than it does good. Yeah. And the reason, the reason, part of the reason I think that is because of that John Ronson book that I read. Unless,

I had a pop at Boris Johnson the other week, you know, fair enough, you know, he can get fucked. But generally speaking, normal people,

you probably shouldn't pile on them because it can cause more trouble than the initial incident even. But like, there are some where you're just like, what are you doing here? Like the one, the one,

the really bad one for me recently was a guy who was like, I don't want to judge him because, you know, he's only his Twitter profile and stuff, but like,

he's very middle class and very kind of smug and thinks the best example, the best description of people like him were what Alan Partridge said, where he said that a lot of upper middle class newspaper columnists think they've got a normal life because

they've got three letter first names like Dan, Tom or Ben and they're quite a messy hallway. So they think they're normal, but they're quite a messy hallway. Yes. So they think they're normal but they're obviously completely not normal. This guy said I was watching I think it was a Champions League game

a football game a football match with my three-year-old daughter and I asked her who she wanted to win and her reply was neither team is going to solve climate change

so what does it matter? It's like I couldn't have been more proud of her. It didn't happen, mate. It just didn't happen. It's a really demented way

of making a point. Why don't you just say, I'm teaching my daughter about climate change, I think it's really important. I know you're going to get piled on whatever happens but why are you making

yourself look a prat? I've never been more proud of me. People are going to take the piss, mate. And the one that didn't happen in the year of awards was a woman who clearly made up a story that she offered some woman on a park bench an almond, and the woman said, no, thank you, I'm allergic to almonds.

So I picked out the natural blend I made for myself in a syringe, injected her with it. And her son. And her son. And said, now eat the almond. And they both ate an almond, and they were both fine, and they couldn't believe I wasn't a doctor. And then they asked me for the rest of the bag of the almonds.

And they gave me £100. £100! That's right. By the way, just stop saying almond. Stop saying it. Stop injecting random people on a bench. That's mad behaviour. £100 is a lovely touch. She's gone for a bit of a flourish at the end there.

Who has £100 in a lovely touch. She's gone for a bit of a flourish at the end there. £100. Who has £100 in their wallet these days? Here's £100. I'm so happy with you. Here's £100 cash. It's such an AI version of what you think is a real interaction. Maybe the injector has got like an eye zettle or something. But it's amazing.

Like they went, and this happened, and this. It was like when you go home for the weekend at school, and on Monday you've got to write a diary, but you haven't done anything very interesting because you're a fucking five-year-old, and you just make up a lot of shite and tell lies.

I used to do that at school. You used to do that at school? Yeah, because I just, you know, I'd turn up at Woolworths at 6am, and because I was the first one at Woolworths they gave me a lot of free video games. Because that happens, isn't it? That's how capitalism works.

They just go, well done for getting up so early, well done for being here when the shop opens, have some free stuff. Yeah, did you say that story? I brought that in my diary. You have a very interesting... I think I might have made up at one point I had a brother that went to a different school

and we used to have lots of fun all the time. And to be fair to me, I thought that A-level paper point I had a brother that went to a different school and we used to have lots of fun all the time. And to be fair to me, I thought that A-level paper should have had a lot better marks. That was a Unicast fact, wasn't it? Exactly. All right, that's too much. You're taking the piss out of me there. All right, let's have a break.

When we come back, we will talk about some of the emails some of our lovely listeners have sent in. And I can see, Pete, you're coddling a book of FA Cup commemorative stamps there. And I can see, Pete, you're coddling a book of FA Cup commemorative stamps there. I brought me FA Cup commemorative stamps.

I also got sent them. Yeah. I gave them to my dad. He likes collecting stamps. Nice. Lovely. Yeah. Anyway, back in a minute.

Welcome back to The Luke and Pete Show. I'm Pete Donaldson. I'm joined by Luke Moore and I've got some FA Cup commemorative stamps. Luke, did the person on Instagram

from Royal Mill get in touch with you as well saying, do you want some stamps? They did. And I gave them. I was like, I can always use stamps. I, did the person on Instagram from Royal Mill get in touch with you as well, saying, do you want some stamps? They did. I was like, I can always use stamps. I gave them, and this is annoying me because this is exactly what they want you to do. Yeah.

But I gave them to my dad. He was very pleased. But the thing is, though, we get free stamps or they'll just sit in the office and get used eventually. We get free stamps. We've got four. We've got some pretty hefty and pricey stamps.

You could probably send something to America. You're supposed to collect them. Nah, just use them. You can't use them. I'm going to send a terrible letter to someone I don't like. Tell you what, the first person that emails in with the most... Can't be bothered! Pete, don't open them.

I'm trying to give them away. They're already open. Why'd you open them? I didn't open them. They're just like a little kind of... There you go. Why are they packaged so poorly? You've given...

Hang on. So you've got free stamps to give to whoever in your family and I've got to give them away to listeners? I gave them to my dad. You don't want them. I do want them. I want them to stay in the office. I think we should try and find out

which of the Luke and Pete Show community has got the most impressive stamp collection. Okay. Hello at LukeandPeteShow.com. Show photographic evidence. How long you've been collecting. Show me your penny black. There'll be some... Show me your penny me your penny black. There'll be some...

Show me your penny reds. Pete, there'll be some... I used to be a philatelist. I was going to say, there'll be some philatelists. Isn't it a philatelist? Philatelists, philatelists, philatelists. Yeah.

Did you used to be, really? I used to be, yeah. I used to get those little... You used to have little... You know what the best tasting stamps were? Oh, God. Because you're not supposed to lick them, but ooh, you have a go, don't you?

Yeah. Czechoslovakia. What do they taste of? Do you know what it's probably lead in them actually thinking about probably something dangerous you know

on Monday we're talking about your health weird it's those Czech stamps you've been licking all day Mr Donaldson we've seen the x-ray you've got 45 lead line

stamps in your stomach yeah they just tasted like no other stamps and I was I could not resist licking them so you would lick them and stick them onto a collection? So you're supposed to not do it.

You're supposed to use these little kind of, you'd buy like 200 at a time from Stanley, Stanley James, was that the company that does Flatterly? They would give you like these little kind of bits of paper that were like gummed. You'd fold them in half, lick one side, attach it to whatever the book was and then lick the other side

and bang the stamp and it would be nicely fixed and stuff but it wouldn't damage the stamp in any way yeah but I had some I had some humdingers

there's an amazing store on the Strand in London Stanley Gibbons is that what it's called Stanley Gibbons yeah it's amazing it's so fascinating

amazing because obviously the reason it's kind of quite fascinating is because they are quite perishable items, right? Yes. Because once they're used, that's it.

Yeah. And so that's why those Penny Blacks and those Penny Reds are so valuable, because they haven't been used. They're so old, and they're so kind of unique that people just get really horny from them, don't they? Oh, there we go. Look. Yeah, no, I'm looking at why do check stamps taste weird?

It's just different kinds of gum, I suppose. Do you know what I think sometimes when you do this kind of thing? Yeah. I mean, we'll do an email in a minute. Whenever you Google search something, the amount of times I think to myself, that's the only time that's been searched on Google today. Why do check stamps taste weird? Worldwide, no one else is Googling today. Why do check stamps taste weird? Worldwide, no one else is Googling today,

why do check stamps taste weird? Yeah, some stamps have gum applied in a pattern resembling a watermark as an additional security device. So there you go. Before we get into emails, we've got to do a couple of battery brands, Pete, of course. So why don't we start with that? And what have we got first this week?

We've got a message from, let me just skip down to the meat of the matter, Joy. Joy's got in touch with some battery brands. Hello, Luke and Pete, greetings from Singapore. Attached is a photo of the batteries. Hopefully, it's something new on your list. And that battery is MiniSor, Mini S-O. So you don't hear enough from people called Joy these days.

So hello to you, Joy. For a little joy, a little joy. I think that's a song by Gear Dad. Do you reckon they are a little joy? Or do you reckon they're a big joy? I don't know. Who knows? Peter, it always reminds me of that song by Living Joy.

I'm a dreamer. Do you remember that tune? Great tune. Anyway, Joy, thank you for getting in touch with your mini-so batteries. I am absolutely delighted to inform you are a new player you've emailed us all the way from Singapore

apparently with some mini so batteries they are new we've not seen them before you've got a new player entering the game congratulations to you well done and Scott in Dubai thank you Scott

for getting in touch hello lads recent trip to Sri Lanka proved hopefully ripe for new players here's a couple I found from the TV slash AC remotes. Lovely to see people just opening their air conditioning remotes and televisions.

Laksaparna, super heavy duty. Laksaparna, super heavy duty. New player. New player. Nice stuff. Fucking unbelievable. Lovely stuff. Range electrical, I think we've had before.

You're not having that. But Laksaparna, super heavy duty. Congratulations, Scott, in Dubai on your trip to Sri Lanka. Well done, you. And thank you for your message. That's incredible, isn't it? We're still finding new ones even after all this time. I completely concur.

Dean Chu. Hello, Dean. Hi, Luke and Pete. A long time listener. A long time, albeit too infrequent, emailer. I'll keep this short and sweet. I found some DG... It's not a great brand, is it?

DGCXI. Yeah. So Dean's an interesting case because, first of all, chiefly because he's called Dean Chu, which is a brilliant name. Nice. And he's one of these chaps

who's got his photo by his email. So like... Oh, nice. Lovely stuff. It looks very proper. Looks like he's got some kind of serious job. Good luck to him. More power to him.

He has sent batteries in before that have been new players and I mentioned it last Thursday. He's already gone and done it again. We'll have to make him a medal but with a battery. I think you have to have three. Battery on a string.

You have to have three new players and you get a battery on the string. Three new players and you get a battery on the string. I'm already doing it for the first one. We're not doing it for the second. And you've got to live in the UK. Preferably London, really. Preferably London. Zone 1 would be good. Around the Highbury area. battery on the street I'm already going for the first one we're not doing it and you've got to live in the UK preferably London really

zone one would be good around the Highbury area yeah it'd be much better so Dean you are as far as I know

feel free to get in touch if you're listening to this and think hang on a minute I've got more than one new player into this hang on a minute

I've got one more Dean is the first one I can think of to have two separate new players entering the game congratulations to you

that's also a very rare hat trick of new players Pete from our listeners this to you. That's also a very rare hat-trick of new players, Pete, from our listeners this Thursday. Heady, heady days indeed. Heady, heady days. Thank you, Dean. And thank you to Scott in Dubai, wasn't it?

Yeah. I've got a couple of bits of admin to clear up before we go. We've done some batteries, so a couple of bits of admin, and then we'll get out of here and we'll do some more emails on Monday. Yes. We did a big Twitter poll a couple of weeks ago, because remember you told everyone you had a chance to buy a pub and you weren't sure whether to buy it or not.

Yeah. And we did a poll. Unequivocal. 93.2% of our community thinks you should buy the pub. I mean, that is a shame, isn't it? That is a shame. It is a shame, because what the fuck is wrong with the other 6.8%? Because they're living in a dream world if they think it's not a good idea.

What's the latest on that? I've not really spoken to any of my neighbours. To be honest, I went back and listened to that show just in case I said anything untoward. But I think it was alright. I think it was pretty even-handed. It's very much down to me not wanting to buy a pub rather than anything wrong with the pub.

Well, I thought that you were trying to slag the pub off so you'd get it cheaper. Oh, right, okay. You weren't doing that, no? I don't think that's... I'd talk it down and then you lower the price oh Lukey Stafflet's Flats is good isn't it

good yeah I watched it on the plane and I had to sort of go back and watch the episodes when I got to my holiday because sometimes when you're at altitude

and you're a bit pissed things are funnier than they actually seem yeah yeah yeah what a fucking creation. I tell you something now, the Wi-Fi I have access to,

and I went, I mean, this is after me slagging you off for spending your holiday watching American Pickers. We went to the West Country back last year, and we got this little Airbnb, and it was November, so the days were very short. So we go out during the day,

can't really do anything around there when it's dark because if you can't go for a walk in the countryside it's fucking pitch black, right? So we'd go back to our Airbnb and watch TV and we watched the entirety of Stath Let's Flats

all three seasons. We were just in pieces. It's an incredible creation, isn't it? I know that, I imagine the Greek diaspora probably has different opinions. But he is a member of that. He is, yes,

as is his sister. But there's not a single Greek character on that show that isn't a fucking idiot. Let's make that very clear. But it's better than Enfield doing Stavros in the 90s or whatever. And it's a charming fucking set of characters. I think you rarely see a character built around, there's probably a lot of improv in there,

but the flustered, like, you know, like me, like I start my sentence in the middle of the fucking sentence and I try and sort of like find my way out somehow. It's like him in it. In it. Like him in it. And he sort of just, he just gets flustered and he'll just shout stuff that doesn't make,

there's one where he goes, I think about red metal. He just said red metal and it just came out of nowhere. And it makes me laugh so much. It's so good. The thing that made me laugh most is when they have to move the estate agency to the barbers. Yeah. And he just walks in really flustered and just looks around at all the hair and goes, what is this, several strands?

strands so I feel a bit and the one that I laughed for the longest was him was was was him walking into the thing and and and Tomoko the

Japanese girlfriend rocks up and and he makes a massive social faux pas and he goes oh don't say that and then he just looks at him and he gets his

head really close to her face and goes are you nice it's so there's not been there's not been a comedy character I can think of so his head's really close to her face. He goes, are you nice? It's so fucking. There's not been, there's not been a comedy character I can think of so studied in its idiosyncrasies.

And, and, and I know you say about the fact there's a lot of Greek people in it, Greek, Cypriot, whatever, who, who,

and they're all idiots. I would just say that in, in mitigation for that, every character, and there's an idiot, there's like, there's like, there's a lot of British people who are idiots,

there's a lot of kind of, the ones who are the worst are like the British estate agent types who are obviously just parodying, caricaturing the awfulness

of letting agents. Let's make that very clear, there's nothing I've seen in this show that I haven't experienced trying to rent a house. I love they always go on the sessions on the bottled water.

That's always good. And I also, I would also say to the point about the Greek diaspora and stuff, and it's not for me to say whether people will be offended by it or not, but you know, we've got a lot of stick for that as well was, um, was Asim Chowdhury.

Okay. He plays Chibori G and people just do nothing. And he was criticized by saying that he's stereotyping British Asians. Yeah. And he said, look, I understand your point of view. The character is basically entirely based on my own father

so I've lived this life I know what it's like it's a comedy show you're right it's different between him and Harry Enfield doing it

for obvious reasons so I think it's not for us to say my conscience is clear I just made me fucking howl

you never get those characters the humour is because they can't deliver their lines properly you know what I mean like the lines are the creation

for him getting flustered or just fucking up it's just good show I loved it it's really rewatchable but I never I never touched base with it I was just

because I guess nowadays like telly you don't necessarily watch telly so I'd seen people sort of rave about it I'd just watch it on the flight over

fuck me I was just fucking crying absolutely crying so that's Stath Let's Flats for those of you listening from somewhere else

other than the UK and you don't know what it is Stath Let's Flats it's a comedy show nice to see Haringey it is it's never nice

to see Haringey it's nice to see it represented we're not getting paid to say that we don't know them we're just saying it's a great show

anyway not watch more than the third season might have fallen off a cliff I don't know them we're just saying it's a great show anyway not watch more than the third season might have fallen off a cliff I don't know no I told you it's great it's very good

it maintains its standard extraordinarily well we're off to go and do the sticks which is what they say when they put the signs up in it and we'll see you

again on Monday we're looking forward to that of course loads more stuff to get through as we continue our catch-up after not seeing each other for weeks and weeks.

Look, I'm going to give you a few examples. A few little trailers. I mean, we've got stories here about police finding an alligator in a car boot. We've got a snake with green fur found in Thailand. We've got two lynxes screaming at each other for ages. It's a great noise. There's even some stuff that isn't animal-related. So listen out for that on Monday.

In the meantime, send us your emails. Hello at LukeandPeteShow.com. If you want those stamps Pete's got, you're going to have to work hard for them. Same email address. Show us a picture of your best stamp. Yeah, absolutely. And if you're going to come in with a penny black,

get fucked. They're too valuable. I don't think we're going to get many people with a penny black, Pete. No. I think I was close to owning a penny red at one point. But if we do, why don't we have a was close to owning a penny red at one point but if we do why don't we have a swap

do you reckon penny reds have swapped for penny black for our FA Cup stamps Pete will continue talking and tapping into his computer forever so I'm going to just stop him now there's a picture of the FA

it's a circle we'll be back on Monday have a lovely weekend we'll see you soon as an FA Cup upset Lincoln City become the first non-league side for 103 years

to reach the FA Cup quarter finals after beating Bernie 1-0 in 2017 I can't remember that Luke upset. Lincoln City become the first non-league side for 103 years to reach the FA Cup quarterfinals after beating Burnley 1-0 in 2017. I can't remember that Luke. It was only like

four years ago. Possibly five. Don't know what year it is. He's off. He's leaving me. A big day out. West Bromwich

Album supporters. Did you just fart? You just fart. The Luke and Pete Show is a Stack Production and part of the Acast Creator Network.