The Luke and Pete Show - Welcome to the Peteriarchy!

Episode Date: June 27, 2022

Lukey's bathroom is finally finished so he can look at his mangled forty-two year old body in a heated mirror. That's progress! Oh yeah, and Pete is threating to run for office. Scared? You should be...Want to contact the show? Email: [e-mail] or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Luke and Pete show it is Monday the 27th of June the witching hour I don't know why I said that. It's Pete Donaldson and Luke Moore. And I'll tell you what, Luke Moore is on top of the tree, on top of the world. He has finally finished his fucking bathroom, or rather the men, the big men, the Bulgarian men, have finished his bathroom.

And he's very pleased about it. The bigger boy, the last bigger boy went home earlier today. Yeah. Actually, you might want to, like, we'll go into the details on your fantastic new bathroom with the gold heated towel rail the radiator the uh the light up um mirror with d mister um you have got some beautiful tiles on the floor uh lovely toilet with some is that is that cedar i don't know i don't know what cedar is to be honest and it's got a nice bog seat and um

why do you already know more about it than me i've remembered that i and it's got a nice bog seat and um it's got why do you already know more about it than me i've remembered that i think i've got a good memory for five seconds and then it deserts me um i would say that um uh mr sleuth if you check out um that video you sent me there's always there's already a couple of dirty finger marks behind the uh behind the heater towel rail you need to get You need to tell them. That's because I took the video as soon as the guy left and what actually needs to happen is it needs to all be cleaned out

because it's just covered in dust and all of it. This has not properly been cleaned post installation yet so I'm not that worried about that. Do they have someone coming in? Do they have someone coming in to sort of finish it off so it makes you feel all good about stuff? They did have someone but the timings were a bit basically it's been very very long as a process because they kept finding stuff from the

old bathroom that was a bit fucked up and so the whole thing just took ages so and we're going away uh for a few days so he had to finish it up and so anyway the timing's just been messed up but we'll ultimately be cleaned down maybe i'll probably do it ourselves but beautiful well it's been it's been a long time coming tanya it's uh it's a lovely bit of work you can finally hold yourself down who was the first person to use the uh the facilities and which facility my wife my wife because she um maybe because because she project managed the whole thing, so it was only fair that she christened the shower. You've got a lovely little shelf for soaps and beers. I know.

I think that one would... The little hole in the wall would fit a... Whatever, is it a stubby that you call it? You were getting very het up about stubbies and schooners and stuff last week on the Ramble. Well, a stubby is a small bottle of beer. Yeah, yeah. We're going to pollinate this show as well.

You just ask me. I'm just fielding the questions. All right. You know. When you're a voice of a generation like me, you have to kind of rise to the challenge, mate. Listen, we're recording from home today because of this bathroom situation.

I literally haven't been able to leave the house because I haven't known when I'm going to have to be around to sign the form to say the bathroom's finished okay right it finally happened today so for those people listening that's why i'm recording from home we're doing this imagine if you could do it like imagine if you did the signing of it remotely like he filmed uh around the bathroom and you gave it the thumbs up on the thumbs down and you did it through docusign and then you got home and you realized it was all cgi and he'd done nothing it's just a big green screen on the wall screen yeah exactly but what i wanted to say peter And then you got home and you realised it was all CGI and he'd done nothing. Got over there.

It's just a big green screen on the wall. A big green screen. Yeah, exactly. But what I wanted to say, Peter, was that in these headfires, I can't hear myself. So if my cat starts meowing and scratching at the door, can you just let me know? All right, OK. And I'll let him in because both of them have been very perturbed over the bathroom thing. I'm a little cat.

I've just done a poo in the bathroom. The other night, when we were sat in the living room and the builder had gone home for the day, we heard all this meowing. And one of our cats was just sat at the threshold of the door facing into the bathroom,

just meowing and meowing and meowing as if to say, what have you done in here? What have you done in here? What is happening here? Because this ain't like I remember it. Mate, you've trashed it. Like, you've trashed the place. Yeah. Like, you've absolutely... I'm it like you trashed the place like you're absolutely about it well you're not gonna see your deposit

back you're not gonna see your deposit we talked about we've talked about um the dynamic of having bigger boys in the house well i've had like two or three bigger boys in the house the last few weeks yeah and um it's very difficult to know whether you're asking a stupid question or not right okay that's fair yeah yeah yeah i mean so like oh would you reckon you better do this or do that and then i i think um there's a reason that because the bulgarian the builders in the house were bulgarian there's a reason they've got a few stock phrases to to british people yeah um the one that you kept using with me was just chill out daddy oh yeah no yeah two one two. One was, of course. Yes.

And the other one was, that's not possible. So I had a very limited range of options. Yeah. That's not possible. I'm definitely going to do it, and that's obvious. Or that isn't even possible to be done. I mean, I'm thinking, to get the response, that's not possible, you have turned up with your pants around your ankles,

nipping the end of your penis, and you're about to spread piss everywhere, and you just really do wee, and he's taking the toilet out, and you're like, oh, no. What a disaster. Mimi's like, can I just move this surface up a couple of mil because I don't want it to hit this,

and I want the door to be open there and can we swap this around and I'm just walking in going have I got enough room to a willy copter in here because that's part of my morning routine. So I think we spoke about this before but like when they remove the toilet and you've got no access to the the

facility, the facilities the facilities when you're what nice uh uh what are my tools and then the uh you are the day that you you knew you would have limited access to a toilet um was a situation where and i may have asked this question before did you drink loads of water from your nalgene or did you kind of cut back on that on that day it was on my mind was it on your mind were you looking at the nalgene your best friend has become your mortal enemy there it is it's always there peter luckily if you're not having the toilet moved to

a different position right we weren't it remains you only have to be without the toilet for like an afternoon it remains yeah so it wasn't still though now gene but it was on my mind yeah our downstairs neighbors were so nice to us they let us use the bathroom whenever they we wanted and they gave us a key and everything oh lovely um but the thing is there is etiquette involved you know i mean you can't just be doing absolute log bloggers in there i had to i would i would be waiting for them to say to text and we're out all day yeah right okay i can actually use the i can actually do the blocking of the suez canal i can i can yeah yeah what's it called the evergrande obviously i was in the office for the early part of it because i knew that it wasn't going to be

finished anytime soon and we went to um i went to porto didn't i for a weekend festival yeah um so that was okay and then and then the weekend just gone it's been glastonbury right and we went to, I went to Porto, didn't I, for a weekend to go to that festival. Yeah. So that was okay. And then the weekend just gone, it's been Glastonbury, right? It has, yeah, yeah. For once, not even for once, it's annoying because I think Glastonbury looks like... Speaking of gigantic toilets. Roy is at Glastonbury.

Yeah, he is. Producer Roy is at Glastonbury, isn't he? Producer Roy is at Glastonbury and he is gigantic. Yeah, he is. Producer Roy's at Glastonbury. Producer Roy's at Glastonbury and he is gigantic. If I was to present myself at someone's front door

saying, sorry, I really need a poo. Can I do a poo? And if Rory presented himself stinking of Guinness that he really wanted a poo, I think people would be well within their rights

to sort of go, Rory, I think you might block my toilet because you are gargantuan and you probably do massive poos. Pete probably just does little rabbit pellets. I think that's prejudiced. I think that's prejudiced.

I don't think there's any scientific basis. The larger the human being, the larger the turd. I think Rory has a very small hole. And it's like a fish and it goes on for ages. Hi, Rory. He's not editing this week. Who cares?

No, he's not, though. He's never going to hear this. Here's a little challenge for you then, Peter. Yeah. Let me do a scenario and I want to hear tactics here because that's an interesting

discussion. And they always come up. Don't plan them and then one always comes up. They always come out. Hang on a second. I've just dropped a massive crumb from a pastry I was eating earlier

onto the floor. Can you miss it? Oh. Do you mean like a flake rather than a crumb yeah it's a cinnamon well from gail's bakery is the cat gonna see that off um if you don't pick it up about um anyway so here's the challenge here's the challenge so you're walking let's just say you are on some kind of um rural kind of village yeah and you're in the middle of a walk and you've got another couple of hours to go and you're on your own, you need to take

a shit badly, right? This is a story that that could happen in your life but it could never happen in mine because I never go for picturesque country walks. And you never go for turds either. Last bus home is gone and I'm on the way home

No, because I'm setting the scene very deliberately I'm setting it very deliberately in this scenario because I don't want it to be an inner city environment because I think that's different so what I'm talking about is you're going

the juxtaposition it's very clever this you bear in mind it's very clever this it's very clever the comedy in this Pete just so you know to everyone listening

the comedy in this is in the juxtaposition between you an extraordinary gentleman in a number of ways but not someone who's necessarily at home in a tiny ornate village that say what that's one village of the year in the beautiful um county let's call it sanford gloucestershire like in hot okay right right you're there it's an it's just about getting dark there's a sinister air in the sinister kind

of feel in the air you need to get into someone's house to take a turd. You knock on the door. A lovely old lady answers. Not old, old, but, like, old enough. What's your tactic for her to acquiesce to your, let's face it, quite demanding request? What's your tactic? I'm shitting in her bushes outside.

I'm just not doing it. I'm shitting in her bushes. You would do it? I would do anything in our bushes outside. I'm just not doing it. I'm shitting in our bushes. You would do it? I would do anything not to bother someone. And at that moment, someone will swing their big 4x4 around the corner and they'll see me squatting with my testicles dangling down. Headlights. Full beam.

Dropping the old kids off at the bucolic scene, so to speak. That's the case. Surely you'd just do it in a field next to all the sheep shit or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, definitely. I'd wipe my bum with a dock leaf and then be on my way. So I would never bother anyone.

I wouldn't bother someone if I was on fire. That's how idiotic I am. I think you'd attract a lot of attention if you were on fire. That's true, actually, yeah. They wouldn't want you in your house. Dave, there's a man at the door. He's on fire.

All right? He's on fire. I think it's the man off that Reds Against the Machine cover. Oh, the Buddhist monk? The Buddhist monk. I used to know his name. I can't remember it now. I would say I've got some kind of medical ailment and I need your help.

That's what I would say. Oh, what? If you need a poo? Like I said, I've got some kind of medical ailment and I need your help. That's what I would say. Oh, what? If you need a poo? Like I say, I've got IBS or something. Oh, that's not a bad shout, actually. Yeah, but then that suggests you're going to make a right last day, isn't it? It's true, actually, yeah.

And I do think, when I said earlier, when you were talking about the size of the human being related to the size of the deposit, and I said that was prejudice, I do think it's definitely a factor. Like, if a massive guy with a big old beer belly on him sweating turned up, you'd be thinking,

oh, that's not going to be great, is it? It's going to... That's going to cling to the walls, isn't it? I think... I think if you... I think listeners are enjoying this, by the way. I think they're genuinely... I've done that thing I sometimes do on this show,

but I've completely forgotten there's anyone even listening. Oh, look him out alright and what's been happening apart from producer Rory's anus

and going for a poo in Portsmouth I know well it's fine he's refused to come on the show so it's fine exactly

well we've had a lovely yield of cherries on the tree in the garden oh yeah nice yeah which we're very fortunate to have.

It's literally luck of the draw. We picked a cherry tree out of the garden centre nursery a while, you know, years ago, and it's turned into one of those cherries that not, sorry, one of those trees that not only fruits amazing cherries, but they're also really sweet, which is very, very rare, apparently. I think it's a small percentage of them that do it. Hey, I cooked, I've used two of the lemons off the lemon tree in my cooking, in my...

I'm stunned about that. I'm stunned about that. I'm still reeling about that. I mean, they're not amazing lemons. You don't go, oh my God, these are the best lemons ever. But there's something lovely about, I love that. Not for you sluggies, that's for me. I'm going to have this.

Yeah, nice. Actually, I didn't give it away. Do you use the zest as well? Are you really making the most of the fruit? No, I sort of chewed on the rind for a bit. I don't mean actually eat it. I mean not use it in cooking. Yeah, I chewed it.

There's no reason for me to have rind in anything. I'm not cooking anything. Fair enough. The best lemon tree experience was when we were in Menorca, you and I, with some other guys doing a show or something. And in the place we stayed, there was a lemon tree in the garden, and you could smell the lemons off the tree. I think I was actually saying this

last week. It was incredible. Anyway, so the annoying thing about the cherry tree is the aforementioned cat was meowing into the bathroom void, like the character he is. I was looking out the kitchen window the day before yesterday and uh we're on the first floor so you can see down to the garden and the cherry trees

at the back of the garden and there's about four magpies on the cherry tree just pecking at the cherries taking them all and the magnus the cat is just lying down under the trees looking at them what are you fucking doing get involved protect my cherries for crying out loud he's just enjoying the shade they're popular it's not what it's for yeah there's at one point in my looking at them. What are you fucking doing? Get involved. Protect my cherries, for crying out loud. He's just enjoying the shade. It's not what it's for. Yeah. At one point in my life,

I would have loved a load of birds popping my cherry, but it's just not happening. It's not happening now. I'm 42. I'm with their beaks. And pooping out the seeds to grow somewhere else,

I think. Yeah, exactly. Animals, man. Well, that's not the worst thing an animal's done this week. I think it was you who found this story for that elephant. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. In Odisha, India. Yeah.

Yeah. Apparently, according to reports, this is a fucking dark story, by the way. It's funny, though, isn't it? It's a good story. Is it funny? I mean, it involves a 70-year-old woman being trampled to death. It has everything for me.

Well, yeah, OK, the trampling was the worst bit, but after that, I think, oh, better off, to be honest. He's done the crime. You may as well compound it with some horseplay. Yeah, I think generally, if you get trampled to death, that's probably the worst thing to happen to you that day, regardless of the day. Yeah, I'm against that. i'm against that i'm against

that happening to me i'm annoyed that the elephant in question didn't have a name but anyway it didn't right an animal sorry an elephant that escaped from an animal sanctuary trampled a 70 year old woman to death who was collecting water at a well right that's terrible that's terrible that's not she died from her injuries that's awful okay her family then organized an outdoor funeral and then the same elephant showed up and trampled all over again as she was when she was already dead and threw the corpse in the air and ran away like i mean what a performance from that i'm suspecting beetle i'm suspecting it's a fake corpse of Beedle. I want to know what that woman did to that elephant, because, good God, like, she can never rest. This fucking elephant's rocking up,

throwing it, juggling it around like the fucking Chipperfield Circus. Like, it's... What a... What a sight. They never forget. They never forget. Good God. By the way, it's a crazy crazy story crazy scene and

anyone who has subsequently since that happened had a relative or friend die at the hands of an elephant will now be very nervous until the uh you're watching the fire exit is complete you're watching the fire exits it's kind of but it's just kind of like the family was able to continue the ceremony and the elephant did not offend yeah i'm saying that that ceremony's gone to be honest get draw a line under that day hide the fucking corpse and then just do it the next day i love the idea of the father-in-law and we can still rescue this we can't the elephant has just tossed the dead body into the air and it's trumpeting at the top of its voice it's doing oh hang on a minute and now it's doing that cute thing it does it's trumpeting at the top of its voice. It's doing, oh, hang on a minute,

and now it's doing that cute thing it does where it's dousing itself with water using its trunk. Has it gone to, have I got, did I get, am I getting Dumbo

and Pinocchio confused? What's the Disney film where the, where the naughty boys go to like a lost boys, I know Huck and, you know, Peter Pan,

it's that, Peter Pan, might actually, Peter Pan. Is that Peter Pan? It might actually be Peter Pan as well. Where are the ones where they go naughty and they go and smoke cigars? Is that Pinocchio? That's Pinocchio. Right. It's not Peter Pan.

Don't Peter Pan do that, like, with the Lost Boys? Doesn't he have a tab on there? I'm talking... Oh, maybe not. The one, the specific thing you're talking about... Well, what about Dumbo? Does Dumbo get pissed? Does Dumbo get pissed at one point?

I think Dumbo might get pissed. Yeah, he does does he has a real psychedelic one on right that's actually that's actually been a lot of the not a lot but some of the dumbo stuff has been changed because it's so overtly racist yeah so you've got you've actually got a character in the original dumbo called jim crow which needless to say is hugely problematic. Lordy. So a lot of the scenes have changed, but in a part of Dumbo, he has some kind of liquid, doesn't he? And he goes all psychedelic for a bit.

It's actually quite frightening. But the Pinocchio scene you're talking about is when, doesn't he get, it's a fox, isn't it? A con artist fox. Yes. That takes him away and convinces him to join this circus or something and then they they start smoking cigars and they do don't they get drunk as well yeah i think so yeah i think i think what happens is jiminy cricket he's he's always

mad enough jiminy cricket he's got the arsehole about it and then isn't it some kind of curse it doesn't it happen they all turn into donkeys or something? Right. They start growing ears and big noses and stuff. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. But that's not... Right, okay. So there's a really interesting kind of... I don't know about Pinocchio.

It's not something I know as well. But there's a really interesting... And I say interesting. I mean horrifically offensive trope in a lot of early Disney movies which are basically just not even racist for the time. As in, you can kind of say, oh, yeah, that's what it was like. They're actually quite overtly racist. And I'm thinking of Fantasia as one of them.

They changed a lot of scenes in that because there are like scenes of black animals in servitude to white animals. Right. They had to completely ban song of the south which is tremendously problematic anyone who's interested in the kind of history of that should listen to a podcast series called you must remember this and there's a whole season about song of the south and i've got a book about it here called disney's most notorious film um just about how how awful it is um there's there's like there's like dumbo's another one there's like There's loads of kind of issues around it, to be honest. And there's also real issues around the portrayal of female characters

and young women in it. And that's only started to be slightly rectified now. And even now, people have still got an issue with it. And it's just weird that the whole, you know, they've built an entire multi-billion multi multi multi billion dollar industry around a set of films and experiences that

for the longest time were like ridiculously anti-Semitic only just started to kind of like draw not draw a line but like well they've still not admitted anything have they they're still not they just quietly kind of like draw, not draw a line, but like, well, they've still not admitted anything, have they?

They're still not, they just quietly kind of go, well, you know, we'll hide that away. Well, I think what they've done, there's never been a reckoning, has there? No, but they've adopted, it's kind of, what's happening is as more younger people come through and then the generational change of what is quite an old company,

the sensibilities kind of change. I don't think it's been like a reckoning, no, but I do think that there's a case to answer as well not just with disney but generally with with what's happening now in terms of female representation in movies where you this is kind of thing called a strong female character trope where people are ostensibly like celebrating the idea that these really powerful women are are involved in these movies and stuff or the parts are written for them but actually all they are is just female versions of male characteristics right so the idea that like traditional female values are celebrated is actually quite quite wide of the mark and i'd also say without getting too

earnest well i did a bit of research into all this stuff for something else i was doing and the thing that shocked me was the willingness of british as well as American audiences, to accept something like Gone With The Wind as a classic movie that is still played all the time now. And that, if you watch that, with any kind of basic knowledge about the time, it's hugely, hugely problematic. I mean, it's generally, honestly, it's genuinely very, very offensive.

And I would argue, I mean, on Amazon Prime now we've gone with the wind when you watch it it's a disclaimer at the start but i know that some people feel like it probably shouldn't even be in circulation anymore it's it but it's kind of like uh if you watch any anything and adjust it for an adjusted for inflation pete is the highest grossing movie of all time huge even now yeah i just think with um if you watch like if you sort of need a how far everything's come especially like you look at how

some of the biggest like comedy films in the turn of the millennium were like your American Pies and stuff like that and it kind of like all your jackasses

and your you know you want jackass to win all the Oscars, though, right? I do, yeah. But, I mean, it's nothing vicious. Just bums and poos and willies and stuff. So, yeah.

And silly sauce enemas. Exactly. And you watch any of that, you see any of that stuff. You see, like, even when we were watching, like, Playing for Keeps. Remember that film we watched? Yeah, that terrible soccer movie. Soccer movie with...

I forget his name. It's Scottish name Bradley Cooper no it was Scottish block oh Gerard Butler I'm Gerard Butler I'm Scottish I always get them mixed up he

yeah just watching that you're like Jesus Christ like every film was like that every film had a cheeky

male character and several and he he was he was usually doughy and unattractive, but he got with, you know,

all these brilliant, high-achieving, beautiful women. I think Gerald Buckner is generally considered to be attractive. That's a bad example, but most of the films were like that. Doughy men going out with very beautiful, high-achieving women with great jobs, and the roles were terrible. And you watch any film from, like, even ten years ago, and it's like, Jesus, there's a bit much in it.

I think, Peter, if anyone's going to make a serious comment on the role of derby men in society, it should be me and not you. I think you're offensive. You need to adjust your privilege there, I'm afraid. Sorry, mate. Sorry, mate. I am more of a Gerard. Although you are getting there.

I'm more of a Gerard Butler, and you're just more of a Butler. tea bag you want a tea bag tea bag yes good stuff anyway let's have a break um and then listen let's dedicate the break to the family of the the woman who was trampled and then had her corpse thrown in the air by is that all right is this all right you want that you want that in there what's wrong with that it's's a touching tribute. What, some adverts? We're going to advertise Manscaped or something? No, it's the woman who got flung in the air with an elephant. I don't know who's sponsoring the show at the moment. Who is it?

I don't know. I don't know. Yeah, this could backfire massively. The other day I said something. A load of our listeners let us know about this. We don't have any say in the adverts, right? No. And that sounds a bit of a cop-out, but we genuinely don't,

apart from the obvious stuff. We only find out when it's gone out and we have any say in the efforts, right? No. And that sounds a bit of a cop-out but we genuinely don't apart from the obvious stuff. We only find out when it's gone out and we're like, ah, okay, right. Because there was a really bad one a while back when I started going off

with a rant about something and it was about how shit politics is at the moment and how shit broadcasters are or whatever and it literally was juxtaposed with the little A-cast diddly-diddly-do

and then a massive Piers Morgan advert which was really loud to the point where we had to investigate it and get the volume of it turned down media spend baby

you can't where's that show now good god these little TV stations just come I know it's like obviously bankrolled by a big company

but these fucking they why do they never why does the the fragile fucking like old man ego that thinks

he's the one who's going to be able to make one of these TV channels. And it always kind of like backfires sometimes. It's just, I don't know. He's got, apparently his last most recent show had like 7,000 viewers. Mad, isn't it? Mad. People could choose one or two parts

when they hear an advert they don't agree with on the show. They could say that's bullshit. I fucking don't like that, and that's fair enough. Or they could say, they're taking money from that and they're using it to invest it in an independent company with great young people who get paid properly and well looked after,

and therefore we are taking that money and making it good again. Yeah, but then they hear about what we're spending our money on and it's bathrooms and bollocks, isn't it? I mean, I don't think Bath is a great example. I need a bathroom. I'm looking in the background of your fucking camera shop, mate, and there's some stuff you shouldn't be spending money on.

There's lovely stuff. Look at this. That's a button from a Jubilee Line train. Exactly, exactly. I don't even know you could buy them. Where did you get it from? They were doing a sale. You just take a screwdriver on the tube. I knew they were decommissioning them. A copy of

Gabriel Knight, The Beast Within, a full motion video graphic adventure. Gabriel Knight, look at him. Where shadow begins. No, where shadows end, the hunt begins. Look at his little face. This is a serious argument for giving the money back. PC Power says

possibly the coolest character to ever appear on a PC. Where is he now? And where is the bloke who played Gabriel Knight, The Beast Within, which I think was the third Gabriel Knight game, I think,

back in the day. They were so big in a full motion video back then. Bring back that time. That's what I say. We have got to do an ad break, Peter. All right. So we'll do it

and then when we come back, we'll hopefully talk about something completely different. We love peers on each step with peloton from their pop runs to walk and talks you define what it means to be a runner whatever your level embrace it journey starts when you say so if you've got five minutes or 50, Peloton Tread has workouts you can work in. Or bring your classes with you for outdoor runs, walks and hikes, led by expert instructors on the Peloton app. Call yourself a runner.

Peloton All Access Membership separate. Learn more at onepeloton.ca slash running. We're back. Hope you enjoyed those ads hope they were at the very least volume uh um applicable to what was around the audio of the audio of the ads we hope they were the same volume that's right see you know like when you used to download stuff on the internet and um something there'd be several different ways of downloading a jpeg um it would take you'd have a very sort of thin um broadband uh limit so it would be very very slow uh and a picture would appear from top to bottom it'd go and you'd be able to make it out sometimes it would go top to bottom but then

sometimes it would go very vague like a blobby mess and then as the data you got more data um the the picture would become a little bit more clear you can kind of see that sort of thing these days to be honest i'm like the blobby bit and then luke fills in the the shadow and the lights and kind of makes a picture out of it i provide the color i provide the colors luke provides the definition it wasn't worth the run up, but I see where you're going with it. I think it was. I think it bloody was. Peter, have you been enjoying the performance of the RMT's Mick

Lynch over the last few days? He's been absolutely... You know, there was a cow loose on an interstate recently, and the police were chasing it for miles and miles and then this fucking cowboy

just came up on a horse and rode side of it and she went, like, loup-la-ed it, lassoed it and fucking got it under control immediately.

And that's what he's been like. He just walks in the fucking room, phew, hoopla-oo, hoopla-oo, hoopla-oo. It's a really good analogy, Pete. Where's my next fucking appointment? And then he goes on another TV set. Where's my next cow? Hoopla. And Hoopla you. Hoopla you. It's a really good analogy, Pete. Where's my next fucking appointment?

And then he goes on another TV set. Where's my next cow? Hoopla. And then he's doing it from like five in the morning to about, it was like 10.30, I think, Peston, and that probably wasn't even his last recording. He just from fucking five in the morning, wins, wins, wins, fucking tying every cunt in nuts.

Bang, bang, bang. All day I win. Yeah. All day I win. And it wasn't as if he was just parroting. You know like backbenchers do. They just parrot fucking party lines

or they tweet the same fucking thing and you can tell it's the same thing that's been whipped into them by HQ. By typing the words

into the search bar. Exactly. So you just sort of you can tell it's expressed exactly the same way. He wasn't doing that. He was like reacting

to what fucking bollocks you know when old Partridge is saying about him being a communist or a marxist or whatever it's like it's fucking big that's all he had that was his gotcha and he's like i mean what oh and he was reacting to him and every single time he was winning it was fucking brilliant it wasn't just pre-prepared statements every time it was like bang fucking eat that bang it was brilliant because i i think can i just also i agree with you and i'm going to come on to why i agree with you in a minute but can i just say before i do agree with you that that was your best analogy for ages like when you start doing an analogy yeah my heart my heart just sinks yeah yeah but that

was fucking excellent and then a cowboy runs in and hooplas your uh heart yeah gets it where it needs to be i think there's a couple of points that really stood out for me for Mick Lynch. And for our American listeners, Mick Lynch is the head of a union. The train strikes have been happening over the last week or so because of paying conditions

and modernisation of the railways. We don't have to get into detail of that because that's kind of slightly, probably largely irrelevant to what we're going to say. But he's basically been on there just bodying every single journalist, every single politician that's kind of stepped up against him

to the point where I was saying to my mate yesterday, if it were me, I'd be swerving it now. The momentum's too great. You can't hold back the tide, mate. The momentum's too great. I'll be claiming COVID like you do the older COVID claim. And every sort of news outlet, I think Sky tried to say that Burley had him on the ropes like this fucking bullshit i think it was burley herself who said

that she tried to seize the initiative with her own twitter account it was ridiculous but she tried i understand why she tried to do it but i was gonna say a couple of things one one is and you alluded to it a bit with it with the talk of the backbench mps and stuff one is that whatever your political persuasion like it's it's really powerful to see someone so in command of their brief yeah and so comfortable i think it was a james o'brien who said that like for him it wasn't it wasn't how good he was it was how good he was while performing with all the you know with all the kind of drama of a man who was just shelling peas like it was just like this is so easy for me i don't even try in here yeah yeah this is literally the best you've got because this is like embarrassing

for you and the second the second point is that um and i thought this is maybe this is just me being a hammer and everything looks like a nail. I thought it was kind of surprising how standout his accent was, because there's just basically no one really on TV now in that capacity with a regional accent. Right, okay, yeah. So he's got a proper East London, Essex-ish kind of accent, right? And he's clearly very articulate, very clever uh very dexterous and able to build an argument well and he does it all with this kind of this kind of regional accent and

i found that tremendously powerful because you just don't really see that much now unless it's some kind of vox pop or some kind of agitating backbench mp maybe but not very often. And in media now, it's very, very rare, I think, to see people in that space speaking in that way. Well, I think the London kind of accent has kind of been replaced by kind of... It's skewed massively urban, you would say. You don't hear Cockney voices as a London voice. Well, the London voice is now kind of a bit more kind of... But I just think the media repeat is so middle-slash-upper-middle-class these days.

Oh, that, and the rest of it is that. Yeah, and the rest of it is that shit. Yeah, it's just great to hear a guy called Mick just doing bits, doing absolute numbers on people. Yeah. And it's not even close. yeah and it's not even close like the the the the the vacuity and the and the um yeah just the kind of surface level of those mps is embarrassing but it's but it's it's it's like it's heartening for me though because i sort of go look if they can turn in that performance i know where you're

going but no i don't feel i just think with a bit of investment, Luke, Pete Donaldson, welcome to a new era of politics. At the first half of the show, you were shitting in an old lady's garden and setting yourself on fire. This is an amazing comeback from you. Welcome to the... Yeah, welcome to a new era for politics. That's all I'm saying.

Welcome to... I'll find a brand. I'll find a brand. That new doesn't necessarily mean good. No. Well, no, it never does. It never does. But, you know, I'm just thinking, like,

there's got to be... Welcome to a new era for politics. Welcome to... I just think we could get there, Luke, with a bit of money. I think you could as well. Bit of money behind us. I'll be up for it.

I'll be up for a giggle. You could definitely do a Count Binface. A Count Binface, yeah. No, I don't want that. I'll be up for a giggle. You could definitely do a Count Binface. A Count Binface, yeah. No, I don't want that. I want, like, a proper... Welcome to the... Patriarchy, brother! I want everyone's fucking...

It's not... It's a new word. It's a new word. The patriarchy. And everyone's nervous. It means everyone's nervous. Everyone's just a bit nervous. All right, what would the tag be?

Goodness me! Goodness me! I haven't thought of a single policy. It's just a bit nervous. All right, what would the tag be? Goodness me. Goodness me. I haven't thought of a single policy. It's the patriarchy. Public pooping in the patriarchy. Peter, we've been wittering on for well over half an hour. We don't have to do emails, do we? We can just do them on Thursday.

We'll do them on Thursday, mate, because you've got batteries and stuff to get through as well. Let's make it, we say this every time, an email and battery special. Don't forget also, special also doesn't necessarily mean good. Yeah, that's true. It just means different. Shout out to Mick Lynch.

Shout out to that elephant. Shout out to Pete for not wanting to speak to anyone, even when he's desperate for a poo. Welcome to the Peteocracy. Shout out to Angel who finished my bathroom and all that good stuff. Yeah, we'll see you on Thursday. And Rory, we apologise. Sorry, mate.

You almost certainly had this show over to someone else to edit on your behalf. We apologise to them as well. Yeah, sorry you got to listen to that. I'll probably put it together. Oh, will you? I'll put it together. What are you volunteering for extra work for? Save little Charlie.

Save little Charlie's legs. He does enough work stuff. All right, cool. We'll be back on Thursday doing our thing. And we've got loads of great batteries and loads of great stories to get through too. Loads about Paul Daniels, actually. So look out for that.

Yes, please. Yeah. The Luke and Pete Show is a Stack Production and part of the Acast Creator Network. Shop with Rakuten and you'll get it. What's it? It's the best deal. The highest cash back. The most savings on your shopping.

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