The Luke and Pete Show - What’s a walrus doing in that bin?

Episode Date: January 5, 2023

A walrus ended Scarborough’s New year celebrations in a shockingly explicit way. Not a good omen for the year ahead.To start 2023 off on a better note, the Battery Daddies kick off another year of reviewing cells by reading out our Christmas Day submissions! Pete also goes to war with all Scandinavian bands from the 90s.Want to contact the show? Email: [e-mail] or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's the Luke of Pete Shop. It's Thursday the 5th of January. My name is Pete Donaldson and I'm joined by my erstwhile colleague, Mr. Luke Moore. How are you feeling? 2023 baby? I'm doing good thanks and that's not what erstwhile means but I appreciate the intro anyway. Erstwhile colleague! You don't know what I'm doing good thanks and that's not what erstwhile means but I appreciate the intro anyway You don't know what I'm talking about Erstwhile means up until recently was my colleague Unless you know something I don't Exactly Welcome to the show, how have you been feeling?

Are you talking to me or are you talking to the listener? Talking to you really, I mean I'm not going to get much out of the listener since this is a pre-recorded show Yeah but that's how you like it, right? Yeah, correct. Listeners, hey listeners, how you doing? If you're fine, just stay quiet. Great. Yeah, even if you're not. Sorry, even if you're not. But I'm doing good, thanks. I've been eating a lot of

licorice and all sorts. The problem with having a reputation of... It's impossible for me to have a January health kick, Luke, because every single Christmas I've got a reputation for being a real sweetie botherer uh so people um people people just buy me sweets for Christmas I'm really I've got so many nerds I've got so many licorice all sorts of get through I've got so much clart and ket I've got to um chomp down it's uh it's troubling um and when people say to me what's Pete like in real life I I say, a lot of time I'll say, he eats sweets like it's food.

Correct. I was eating a big snacker jack with licorice all sorts on it. I wasn't putting it together like a bloody cartoon. I was just using it as a plate. And then I finished the big sort of thing, a snacker jack. Yeah, but do you mind me saying, I'm looking at you for a computer screen at the moment. And there's a lot to take in anyway. I've got a lot to do on the show.

You've got to keep the chat flowing and all the rest of it. And yes, I know what everyone's thinking. It comes naturally to you. Yes, it does. But at the same time, I'm presented with you. You're the only person I know who I see eating a snack, and I cannot fathom what it actually is. And it turned out to be a big salt and vinegar snacker jack

with a load of licorice all sorts on top of it yeah i'm just trying to get i'm trying to hide very much like people try and hide um good um solid food in um silly food the old um you know you try and trick a dog into eating a tablet i'm trying to hide the licorice all sorts in healthy food so people think i'm just eating healthy food but it's actually just a snacker jack with them licorice all sorts in healthy food, so people think I'm just eating healthy food, but it's actually just a snacker jack with licorice all sorts on the top. I broke my tooth on the snacker jack once. They can sometimes be quite... The rice kernel hasn't popped fully.

It's a corn kernel, isn't it? They're all kinds of trouble. Is it corn? I think it's a corn kernel, like in popcorn. And that's exactly what happened to me. They can't advertise them as rice cakes, can they? They can't advertise rice cakes as rice cakes if they're not rice cakes, surely.

I mean, mine are just big silvery, yellowy, beigey snacker jacks. They probably contain both. They probably contain both in there, I reckon. Speaking of all the sweets you eat, how are your teeth generally? Yeah, 2023, New Year and all the rest of it, how are your teeth starting the new year?

No, still no. I found that if i eat a whole packet of family um size pack of nerds um why is there a family pack of nerds by the way i know i mean my parents eat nerds no and if you look at the calorific content on the back like like a teaspoon is 60 calories now pound for pound a family pack of of of nerds is very much it's great value for money it really is great value for money um like calorie to i was in a different color it is yeah i was it i was at the football um yesterday yeah we're recording this a few days in advance but uh only one day only one day all right only one day i was at the football yesterday at Arsenal Newcastle. We drew 0-0. And the big burger that's 17 quid that people always talk about.

It does have like 1,800 calories in it. And then there's a sign that says most adults need 2,000 calories. And that's almost a sort of go, you need this. That's all of your calories for the of go you need this that's your all of your calories for the day you need this i don't think those people i don't think the people that are eating those are abstaining from food elsewhere though are they that's the problem no that's the only thing you eat that's the only thing you eat yeah that and half a bottle of uh um camden hell's lager in an aluminium bottle i mean that's all you're going for i was i went for lunch my wife

and i went for lunch a week or two ago now i'm trying to find the um the screenshot uh there was a menu um which had all the calories on it which is the first time i'd seen that so oh it's horrific it's an absolute it's an absolute horror show and even if you go for the best thing you can do in the burger uh domain i think is to go plant-based, I think. So I basically, I've been offered the calorie menu before and said no. And normally a nicer place gives you the option, right? Or doesn't bother.

And this place is like quite a nice gastropub near our house. So it just served up one menu. pub near our house so it just it just served up one menu and um like there was there in the on the lunch menu there was like a cheese and ham sourdough toasty with skin on fries right 2345 calories 12 quid though exactly great bang for your buck yeah great bang for your buck how many how can that not keep you sated all day? It's mad. How can that, like, because you'd be hungry in, like, four or five hours. Why does some food keep you full and some food isn't?

And that's what my body annoys me. That's what my brain annoys me. But, like, they must be covering their ears, surely. They must be covering their arses. Yeah, probably. By just adding on a few, you know, tabs of butter to that. What's the annoying thing about the brain relationship with that that pisses me off as someone who does you know does pile on the pounds um is that i know it's 2345 i'm clever enough to be able to process that that's enough for a day

my brain's processed it my body is sated physically like confirmed that's confirmed by a lot of independent evidence my body is sated by that why is it still telling me i'm hungry it's a good point yeah why that should it's got the calories it needs i didn't need to eat a whole packet of uh nerds or a whole pack so how are your teeth you didn't answer the question about your teeth still no feelings baby although um when i do terrible pain when i do well yeah when i do eat like tank fastings or anything fizzy or um i was a big fan of these horrible kind of like they're like big refreshers uh in in america and they were blooming lovely sweet hearts they're called like you buy big big ones and you put them in your mouth and they're

very uh you can tell there's a lot of some kind of salic acid. A lot of chemical equations going on. A lot of on the pH scale, the higher numbers. And I think that's where the pH scale goes. A high number of pH is alkaline. A very low number is acid. Okay, low is acid then. All right, okay. Almost zero. So aggressive.

And for the next three days, I couldn't eat anything because it stripped the enamel. Well, it just strips all of the enamel out you off your teeth and i i've never had sensitive teeth but um i think my sweet eating days have caught up with me a little bit anymore the worst experience of that i've had was actually with a savory item and that was i've been out for a few beers this is a few years ago but now for a few beers and um got off the bus on the way home and the only place still open was the sainsbury's and i had like a perishing hunger for like something salty so i bought um a bigger pack of those salt and vinegar sticks right corn sticks right used to be called chip sticks when

we're kids and i had a whole bag of them like 150 grams right next day absolute agony but also it was all over my mouth. Teeth were sensitive. I couldn't get the taste. I basically couldn't sate my thirst. It's really bad. It sounds like you've been poisoned. It was like having, like, rabies. Yeah, we talked about that before Christmas,

a little Luke and Pete Shaw treat. But, yeah, awful. I've become a little bit upset. I'm on a bit of a January health kick, he says, eating a packet of liquorice. You're not, though. I mean, by your own standards, possibly. I'm clearly not.

But I'm watching a lot of YouTube while I'm working where there's a bloke called More Plates, More Dicks. You will have seen him on Joe Rogan exposing the liver king. Right. All of his training. Yeah, I actually enjoyed that conversation. That was interesting. Steroid, steroid.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's decent, isn't it? But that guy's got his own YouTube channel and he basically just goes through every Hollywood star in every Hollywood role, tracks their physical, you know, their physical dimensions throughout the years and, you know, through their teens, their 20s,

and then their, quite frequently, 20s, 30s, where they all take trend. And it's like, there's not a single one he reckons isn't on juice. Right. And he's a tank himself, right? He's a tank himself, and I think tank knows tank. And I think he's very upset about tank knows tank. But I think every single last person who's had a body,

I'm not going to name them because, good God, his fucking lawyering must be tight. But yeah, they're all on fucking juice, or sazool, as he calls it. They're all on the juice. And he kind of gets a little bit upset because the people who, you're giving kids a lot of false hope that you can get these gains really quickly

without the suzool, without the hormones, without the oleons and the roids and stuff. And it's all a bit of a shame. But a lot of these physiques, I thought, oh, well, they know they've got personal trainer they've got nothing else yeah i don't i don't know if i agree i don't know if i agree juice he just goes juice juice juice

all of them juice i i think that um the reason that chris hemsworth i think it was in one of the more recent marvel movies might have been the most recent thor film was very transparent with the guy that he trains with there's a guy called chris zocchi i think his name is and he and he was sharing a lot of stuff he was doing um on all these social media channels and stuff and they were also making it clear things like you know chris hemsworth has this frame that he has and to a certain extent has the genetics he has which is part of the reason why he was cast in the first place that to me at the time i remember thinking smacked of let's head this off now because we don't want a big scandal about this and i wonder whether that guy who's accusing them of it is just

um it's just trying to kind of spoil him for numbers but then having said that i mean he called out a liver king and liver king basically crumbled and was like yeah i've spent twelve thousand dollars a month i mean he did he did a lot i mean a lot of these videos and i you know again i'm not going to mention who I mean you mentioned Hemsworth there if you think it's me just tell me

because I'll tell you I'm training Cleveland Luke Miller is on steroids and the sooner the world knows it the better to be quite frank and to be honest I'm fucking pissed off

with the results so I'm happy for you to call me out on it because I was promised a lot of results that haven't been realised you've got to work out mate it's just

they said it was fine to store those steroids out in the haven't been realised. You've got to work out, mate. You can't, it's just... They said it was fine to store those steroids out in the sun all day. And all I've got is a very flabby pair of tits. But it just, there's just a lot of absolute monsters out there

in the bodybuilding world. They've all got fucking, I mean, the first clue is always back acne. Most wrestlers have fucking back acne and that's for one reason and one reason alone.

And it's not for the reason I have back acne or had back acne because of my fucking asper medication i'll tell you what but um yeah it's crazy it's absolutely wild but uh yeah we're uh i'm i'm now i don't trust any actors because they're all pretending and now i can't even trust their rock hard abs anymore i'm fuming so yeah i know what you mean. And I think what I would say, though, is something that I think I may have mentioned before, which is this idea that people think if they follow the training regime of, say, a swimmer or a bodybuilder or a Pete Donaldson,

you'll get the physique that they've got. But that's not actually true. It's a bit of a myth because the reason that, sayimmers look like they are they do is because their body shape is selected for them to be swimmers right it's like if you get to the point where you're an olympic swimmer it's been dripped it's been whittled down through so many people to get to that point the people the perfect physique are the ones who make the best swimmers i didn't they just start off with no frame or no no kind of body to start with it was already there for them and that's what they were saying with that liver king guy the guy who

that no more plates more dates kind of guy was saying that there is a chance that the liver king could be that size and look like that naturally but it's like a 0.000001 chance because he'd have to be in that part of the population that is just naturally like that, and it's so unlikely, taking into account all the reddening of the skin and all the rest of it, that it would never happen. And Liver King tried to pipe up about that for ages, denying it,

and eventually he kind of crumbled, right, and admitted it. Oh, right, did he, right. Yeah, he did a video, so I've let everyone down. And you know what happened? Everyone was just like, oh, great, all right, carry on.

Oh, I love an apology video. I miss my mum. Yeah, I love an apology video. I miss my mum. Yeah, that was the best one. The faith positions people adopt when it comes to supporting people now is frightening. And it is a faith position. I can remember there was a guy called Ted Haggard. You know Ted Haggard?

No, I've heard the name. Where's that from then? So he was the minister of a super church in the u.s and he preached this particular gospel um and um he was taking donations all the rest of the prosperity gospel type bullshit and he had this mega church and um then fast forward however many months or years or whatever and he got and he obviously preached all this kind of you know quite probably i would say hateful stuff so he was advocating against same-sex marriage all this kind of stuff right and then i think it was around 2006 he um got accused of and i think it was proven

as well uh of spending quite a lot of time with male prostitutes right and taking drugs and all the rest of it yes and he later admits that he was taking drugs he had sexual activity with a male prostitute or did william gladstone not the sexual activity bit but he did hang out with sex workers okay let me just finish this point and i'll come on to that jesus and um and he also had this he was also had a relationship with like a young man at his church. And everyone was like, well, he's finished. He's finished now. Because look at the stuff he was preaching.

Look at what his whole thing was based on. Then he just did another sermon where he said, oh, yeah, I'm in a dark place, just like Jesus was. So I need your help even more. And everyone was like, great, give him more money. And he earned more money doing it. So you literally cannot lose in that kind of situation. And that's what a lot of people who love Elon Musk and love Andrew Tate and love Olivia,

all these people, they remind me of that. It's like faith position. Now, anyway, listen, tell me about William Gladstone. He was a bloody good chap in the main, you know, Prime Minister. It was like blur. He'd probably be blur in the oasis blur um situation oasis would probably be benjamin disraeli you know or maybe the other way around i don't know you're sure neither will work in class fuck it that analogy's gone out the window um why do i

dislike blur so much um i think accents versus upbringing well i mean just i mean you're wrong about pub so let's leave that one to bed. I'm safe, I'm comfortable being wrong. You don't underestimate how many times a day I'm told I'm wrong.

It doesn't deter me. I never tell you you're wrong. I know better than that. You tell everyone else that I'm wrong and it gets back to

me eventually. Oh lordy. Yeah, so what was I going to say? Why don't you like Blur? Why don't you like Pulp? I don't know why you don't like Pulp. I don't think you like Blur because...

I don't like Jarvis Cocker. That's what it is. Yeah. I think he's a right old wrongan. I think he's a right old wrongan. Do you think he's a right old wrongan? No, I just think he's got something about him. He's a wrongan.

I mean, he's got the look of a right old wrongan. I mean, he did a Rolf Harris song on Stars In Your Eyes that time. But he's got the look as Roxette once sang. Roxette. Didn't remember Roxette, wasn't he? He found out to be rather a juicy individual. Oh, come on. Why are we doing this?

You don't know. It's the tone I don't like. You're not sure yourself. Because I think a friend went to a wedding that was attended by the same guy from Roxette, who I think was the guitarist, who was later found out to, like a lot of people in that part of the world, have some fruity views, let's say.

Roxette, right wing views, let's say. Hmm. But do you know what I mean? As your co-host, when you start off a point like that, in that tone, I don't like it. Yeah. I know you're on a Wikipedia page now. Yeah, I've got nothing to be honest.

Oh, well, yeah, it wasn't that then. Would you like to apologise to him? I'm sorry about that. What's his name? Use his name. The Roxette singer is dead. I didn't know that. The lady died, yeah. I didn't know that. That's crazy. I think Roxette are a better band than Pop.

I mean, pound for pound, yeah, probably. I'm pleasedette are a better band than Pulp. I mean, pound for pound. Yeah, probably. I'm pleased you're on board with that. I'm pleased you're on board with that. They've got some absolute... At their best, Roxette are better than Pulp. And they're better than Blur. That's fair.

And they're not better than the Waces. Who was racist then? Someone who's really right-wing. How is this an episode of our show in a really inert Swedish band it was just like

it's a 40 something man in his shed saying who's racist then who's racist who have you got that's all the internet let's check the emails

this is the internet distilled into a fucking podcast unbelievable right Peter can we can we please tackle the thorny

the thorny issue of Scarborough's wanking walrus oh yes please yes please lovely old job fantastic stuff for those who haven't seen this story what first of all what you're doing with your life um let's let's but let's let's bring people up to speed so as far as i understand it shortly after we've recorded the last episode because we had to do it slightly in advance because of the new year kind of festivities and stuff and anyway so on new year's eve in scarborough which is a town in northeast yorkshire on the coast and i've always liked to i've always wanted to visit scarborough but i've never been there

uh but anyway that's where it is um a walrus rocked up in the harbour just wrote there's just i don't know what the term is for a moving walrus like it's just lolloped up onto the bank it's definitely the word lollop yeah that's all they do is lollop yeah and lie down on the um on the on the on the stones and because i think there's some kind of protected species status around them and it didn't want them and no one wanted to distress the walrus who just turned up out of nowhere by the way, no one knew he was coming, he just rocked up

they cancelled the New Year's Eve fireworks celebrations in the town which I guess was a bit of a shame for everyone not that I like fireworks anyway but a lot of people do and then when people were presumably already pretty annoyed with that i thought we might as well go down and see the

walrus because there's no fireworks to watch so we might as well see what the cause of this is and it might provide a little bit of entertainment for us the good people of scarborough and when everyone turned up and to see the walrus they just started having a big old wank and what can i before you come in on that, Pete, can I just add one final thing? If we were living in the Middle Ages, that would be a chilling portent for the year to come. Oh, what, you reckon that that would be,

yeah, people would be thinking about, I mean, I'm still thinking about it there. I mean, just a walrus pumping away with his little pink piece, so to speak. And his flipper. And his flipper. It's just, what I like his flipper. It's just, what I like about it is that he's just,

he's turned up, the world's media has descended, and he's waiting for that point to start well. A couple of bloggers from Scarborough have descended. There'll be a few. But it's just the way that everyone will be like, oh no, should we throw him some fish,

because he might be hungry, and oh, don't throw him some fish, because he'll stick around, and you know, that will upset the upset the delicate micro

oh god he's wanking like it's so like oh god now he's wanking for food we didn't even plan that who do we even who do we even call about this

right okay we ring these people and then they go right don't go don't go near make sure he is wet if you can get a hose on him we'll be right down

this is so important that we he's doing what he's doing what he's doing what he seems quite content alright okay fine we're not coming then can we just get

a status on his state of mind is he relaxed is he happy in his environment we don't want him to be stressed

he's masturbating so what does that tell you yeah exactly oi oi oi it was a lovely moment it was great and just so you know in case you do find yourself perhaps you're listening to this What does that tell you? Yeah, exactly. Oy, oy, oy. It was a lovely moment.

It was great. And just so you know, in case you do find yourself, perhaps you're listening to this from some kind of coastal, village or town and you're worried about a walrus turning up. You're thinking, what can I feed the walrus? Well, they like shrimp. They like crabs. They like corals.

They like sea cucumbers. They like various mollusks. How the hell do they get into a crab? Just crunch it. Just crunch it. Just munch it down and just crunch it. Isn't that wild? Because that would be like us eating, what do we eat that's got a little sort of hard shell?

It'd be like a soft shell crab for them, wouldn't it? Just a normal crab. They'd just crunch it and go, I'll let my body deal with the razor sharp shell. There's a local man here from Hartlepool that's giving them nerds. It's a family pack. He says he's got the most calories per buck. Oh, he'll be eating for days.

Unbelievable. Walruses are quite underrated when it comes to kind of activity, you know, because you know there was that one that lolloped up onto the hatch of a Russian submarine and no one could get out.

Yes. Wasn't there one that kept, quite recently, kept jumping on ships and trying to capsize them because he was being a naughty walrus? I'll rate it. Yeah.

Because we've had a lot of time with sloths. We've had a lot of time with monkeys and stuff. I think walruses are going to be our next fun animal. Meerkats could get stuffed. We're all about walruses, the old tusked men perverts of the sea. Would you have liked it if that lady came along and lifted it up and just put it in a bin?

Catman lady. You're never going to lift it. It's three tons. She just managed to pick it up, was still wanking, threw him in a big solo bin. And all you could hear was just it wanking against the side of the bin. He's still going. He's still going. He'd get bored in a minute. He's not. Right, get the fireworks back up. He's in going. He's still going.

He'll get bored in a minute. He's not. Right, get the firebox back up. He's in a bin. We can start the firebox now he's wanking in a bin. Unbelievable. Oy, oy, oy. Loki, I've discovered which Swedish pop band it was who were Nazis.

Oh, good. It's Ace of Base. Of course it is. Oh, really? Okay. Ace of Base. That disappoints me a bit. Yeah, big 90s band from Sweden who did, obviously, the song The Sign, Don't Turn Around, All That She Wants, big hitters.

Yeah. So one of the members of the band was in a neo-Nazi band called Commit Suicide, Ulf Ekberg. I'm not going to read out any lyrics because they're strong they're spicy but yeah Ekberg's past is quite interesting did Ekberg use Ace of Base's success

as an opportunity to wipe the slate clean and erase his neo-Nazi past Ekberg did not use Ace of Base to hide his Nazi past quite the contrary Ace of Base was technically a Nazi band as well what? they reckon Ace of Base to hide his Nazi past. Quite the contrary, Ace Abyss was technically a Nazi band as well. What? They reckon Ace Abyss was named

after the Karaman submarine base, a massive U-boat launching and docking facility constructed by the Nazis in the French town of Lorient. So there you go. Apparently in 1997, they apologised for it all and said, oh, I didn't really mean it.

But thanks for the money. The rest of the band didn't share these opinions, et cetera, et cetera. Right. P.S. Can I have my royalties back? Can I have my royalties back, please? Yeah, it used to really annoy me as a kid, because they had some big pop hits.

Some people listening to this show will be like, who are Ace of Base? Well, I'll tell you who they are. They're a massive band, kind of what you'd call a Euro pop band, I suppose, in the early to mid-90s, I would say. Yeah. But they had some big hits, Pete. It annoyed me that they spelt the word bass like that.

It should be B-A-S-S, right? Yeah, but I mean, you know, bass in it, because the bass with the submarines and stuff. Yeah, I didn't know that. I wasn't aware of their Nazi past as a 10-year-old, to be honest. Because it's weird for us, isn't it? People of our generation who are relatively normal, like you and I, we're very, I feel like the question of whether being a Nazi was bad or not

was settled. Yeah. It turns out it's not settled now. As soon as like the last kind of like, you know, as the Holocaust survivors, as the people who fought in the,

you know, in the war, the Second World War, start to, we start to lose them. The Nazi stuff just, you know, that just gets

ramped up again. Like it wasn't always there, but like why we have this obsession for like 150 years for this thing that wasn't very good to start with., why have this obsession for, like, 150 years? This thing wasn't very good to start with. Bizarre.

Absolutely bizarre. It is bizarre. I think we should take a break so that people can take the time to catch up on a lot of content there. Wanking walruses, licorice, and the Nazis. All on top of a big salt and vinegar snacker, Jack. See you in a minute. All on top of a big salt and vinegar snacker, Jack. See you in a minute. On the wings of the eagle, with God's help, I was there before everyone.

In the meantime, I will kill you. I was there before everyone. Hiding in play site there. Ace of Base, Happy Nation from 1993. This is a massive exclusive. It's amazing stuff. It's good stuff. Thanks, crack.com, for doing all of that work. Yes, it's time for picture. It's amazing stuff. It's good stuff. Thanks, Crack.com,

for doing all of that work. Yes, it's time for some battery brands every single Thursday on the Look and Picture Show. We get to read out some of your battery brands that you have found over the, well, previous months. I mean, I will say that Christmas

is obviously a bumper time for toys with batteries buried deep within that we can just extricate and look at. We've got three batteries that were actually submitted on Christmas Day. Some people managed

to sneak away and fill our email box with dispatches from the front line of battery. I admire it, but it also makes me sad, if that makes sense. Yeah.

I mean, I will say that I don't know what your question is like. I would have probably appreciated five minutes just to get away and write an email to the Luke and Pete show to be honest

well tell us more about that why what happened there's just a lot of cooking in it there's a lot of cooking kids running around yeah but you wanted that didn't you

that's what you wanted yeah I was looking forward to it and I still enjoyed myself I'm just surprised how little I enjoyed the meal itself

because I was constantly worrying about whether the chicken was too pink or not. Why are you eating chicken on Christmas Day? Because I can't be arsed with turkey. It's a loser's bird. Fox to tech. Is that another Ace of Base lyric? James.

James has brought us Fox to tech. Hoping that I can get ahead of the avalanche of batteries by being in France and celebrating on the 24th. I'd like to present you with foxtr tech any chance of a new player regards james cheers for the work commute entertainment um so james admittedly is celebrating christmas on the 24th like they do in some parts of europe so that's probably why he's emailing right on the 25th and foxtr tech a new player. I wonder whether these are batteries that have been manufactured, white label,

and branded in time for Christmas because we have not had them set in before. So congratulations to you, James. That is a new player. Lovely stuff. Moving on to... What is it? Joachim?

I say Joachim. It's Scandinavian, right? Joachim, yeah. Joachim Runderheim. Like most listeners, I've been battery hunting during the holidays. As we celebrated without any children present, the absence of battery-powered toys made it more

difficult. Luckily, however, I received a Morgan ukulele and a built-in microphone so that it could be connected to an amplifier. And I was fortunate enough for it to have a battery as well. I present the Sepe, or Seep, S-E-P-E, extra heavy duty as my contender for a new player.

I don't know whether 9-volt batteries are allowed. They are. But considering the lenient instruction where Pete goes about the batteries, I'm quietly hopeful. How bloody rude. Cheers to the work of your entertainment, Joachim Runderheim.

Before I give you an answer, it's a Scandinavian man of a certain age who likes musical instruments. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Can we rule out the connection? Can we rule out what's that battery for? Oh, no.

Oh, dear. Oh, dear. It is a new player. Another new player. Oh, well done. No one's sent him in before. S-E-P-E, Sepe. Never been sent in

so congratulations to you Joachim what a great way to start the year congratulations Mr Runderheim enjoy the rest of your year hi Batboy says Andrew

imagine the delight on me face when I whip off the back of my new coffee scales on Christmas day again a lot of people very

want to make it clear what they're using scales for which again I mistrust back of my new coffee scales on Christmas day to find a beautiful pair again a lot of people very want to make it clear what they're using scales for which again i mistrust uh back in my new coffee skills on christmas day to find a beautiful pair of knack on super heavy duties it truly is the most wonderful time of the year knack on n-a-c-c-o-n knack on yeah so um it's a difficult one because andrew i really appreciate you getting in touch particularly on christmas day unfortunately you are only the third person

to send in Nacon batteries before, and you're not even the first Andrew because Andrew Fulia sent them in in June of last year. So you're not even the first Andrew to send them in, I'm afraid. But thank you very much for making a contribution nonetheless. I love it. I love all of it. Yeah, so thank you very much for everyone

who brought in their batteries. If you'd like to shove your batteries into our hole what do you call it it's a battery compartment isn't it jam it in our Lucan Pete Show battery compartment we have capacity for everything you can throw at us to be quite frank

we are the true battery daddies just chuck it on over to hello at lucanpeteshow.com it's as simple as that yeah and if you were there observing just check it on over to hello at lucanpeachaw.com it's as simple as that yeah and if you were there observing the wanking walrus or you have a story about ace of base or you've adopted a faith position

to defend a public figure on the internet for no reason get in touch as well hello at lucanpeachaw.com I think if I before we go Pete just a little quick thought experiment for you I think if I was going to have to faith position defend a famous person I didn't know forever on the internet, I might choose Nick Cave or the actor Toby Jones. Okay, yeah, fair.

You'd choose James Cocker, presumably. I would choose, who's the fella who... I watched... I watched the TV show. Here we go. White Lotus. I haven't seen it. Any good?

Very good. Second series. Not watched the first one. They're standalone series, then? Yeah, you can get away with watching the second one, apparently. Again, I'm not speaking for them. Why are you like this? It's two separate stories.

But, there's the guy, who's the guy who plays Spider-Man? Tom Hollander. No, it's just Tom Holland. Right,

Tom Hollander I like. Remember when he wrote that piece in The Guardian about how he spends his day and it was really, it was really like funny because he's just cutting about

having a wank have a bit of food i do remember like i look out the window he was really he that was a brilliant column he's an excellent comic actor and he also has done the audiobook of john lecaro's a legacy of spies and it is fucking exquisite so that is a great choice good choice that lovely and he's great in uh in that tv show i've got a film recommendation which i will keep uh for the next show yeah if that's all right with you uh we'll be back on monday with more luke and peach show and for you the listener we will do our very best to maintain this level of quality exposing right-wing

90s pop groups and talking about steroid abusers steroid abusers yeah do get in touch hello at lukeandpeter.com if you want to defend someone from a faith position whoever it's going to be tell us who it is and why and how you do it give us your film reviews give us your TV series reviews give us your batteries give us everything you've got because we love hearing from you Peter I hope you have a lovely weekend

and we'll I love when you do that hocus pocus to me The way that you touch, it's like a something to me You give me that look, it's almost unreal It's almost unreal It's lovely. Rock set.

Ciavanda. Not racist. not racists The Luke and Pete Show is a Stack Production and part of the ACAST Creator Network.