The Luke and Pete Show - Wild Moldovan Dogs

Episode Date: March 9, 2026

Pete’s been off on his holidays again, this time to Moldova and the breakaway republic of Transnistria. And he didn’t even get as pissed as he could have.Staying on the theme of states and nations..., Luke and Peter touch on the war in the Middle East and how certain Dubai residents have reacted to it.And on an entirely different note, there’s a good amount of potty training chat. Truly something for everybody in this episode.Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:05 Welcome to the Luke and Peach Show. It is Monday, the 9th of March. The 9th of March with me and Lukie Moore doing our thing. Yeah! We're recording a show a few hours after me and you did a whamble together, and I found my glasses, Lukie Mae. I thought I'd lost my glasses in my car, and that's why I was wearing sunglasses to a recording last week on the Ramble.
Starting point is 00:00:33 keen-eyed viewers will know and then I... Because you're conceited. That's what you're... Conceded. Well, that too as well. You can be... You can walk and chew them. And it turns out
Starting point is 00:00:45 they weren't in my car, they weren't in my house, they weren't in the cabin, I didn't know where my glasses were. So I thought, you know what? I'll drive to the train station to see if anyone's handed them in. Didn't need to. Parked up where I parked up earlier, I'd realized I'd just drop them on the floor. And someone... They were still there.
Starting point is 00:01:01 They were still there, but someone has stamped on them possibly out of spite, possibly saw me, possibly possibly seeing me as a conceited gentleman, just decided to stomp on my glasses. So now I've got a bit of tape on them now. I've got a bit of, I'll tell you what, Jack Duckworth gets a lot of abuse, dogs abuse, if you will,
Starting point is 00:01:22 for his lack of panache, lack of style. But I'm usually recorded on these podcasts from this angle. I'm going to be screwed when I get in the studio, but for the next few days, because I'm only doing remotes, I reckon I can get away with it because you can't necessarily see the massive amount of tape on my glasses. But I think he's a style I can. I really do. Would you be able to fix them more permanently, do you think?
Starting point is 00:01:45 Or do you need to... No, they are ravaged. They are, yeah. I've been an unlucky sausage, I think. I don't know what... I don't know how to... Do I walk into a Vision X... Basically, I've had my card mark from the Vision Express where I got these.
Starting point is 00:01:58 I said they got me these glasses. And then I asked see if I could try some new contact. lenders and they keep ringing me going Pete we've got those connet lenders in you want to try and I've not at the time because it's miles away and so now I'm scared I don't have anyone to fix my glasses or get new glasses with these lenses in because the lenders were like
Starting point is 00:02:16 350 quid the frames the actual you know how they look were literally 30 pounds so like glasses expensive frames very cheap and Luxottica the creators of all spectacles it's a massive
Starting point is 00:02:31 cabal not a cabal but it's a massive monopoly, they own every spectacle creator in the world. It's a disgrace why that's allowed to go on, especially under EU law as well, but you know they're an Italian brand. Yeah, I can't just go on the internet and go, can you find me some lenses to put these specs in? No. And do you think that contributed, all this stuff contributed to the performance on the
Starting point is 00:02:55 Rambled this morning, or? I think it was fine up until three, it was, it was bad game management from me. I thought it was fine until three quarters in, and everyone started, I've got enjoyed it. Picking holes. You get away a lot because you are Pete, just being professional Pete, and so people accept it.
Starting point is 00:03:10 Yeah. There was a bit of, there was a bit of off-air silliness that was going to go at the end. I didn't realize some of it was going to remain in the show. That was, that was an unwelcome surprise. But I just think,
Starting point is 00:03:20 I just think at that point, Rory, the editor, slash producer slash head honcho, he'd just add enough for me, to be honest. Yeah, for you. He's like, right, that's enough. That'll do. Get it under an hour and just whop it out.
Starting point is 00:03:32 He said, can you get in, Can you get in for nine, Pete? I was like, my body can get in for nine. My glasses can't get in for nine. My glasses aren't getting in for nine. No, exactly, no, your glass is like. And also, if you don't mind me saying, you are looking delightfully floppy hair today.
Starting point is 00:03:48 Yeah, I don't know what's going on, really. I had a haircut a few weeks. I had a hair cut before, Transnitria and Moldova, and now I'm back, and my hair's gone all floppy. How was Transnistria and Moldova? It's good. it. A lot of, it sort of drove over the border to the Moldovan Republic of, what's it called again? It's called Pridnestrovia.
Starting point is 00:04:14 And the, and I mean very much enjoying saying that with like a slightly rolled R, like I know what that means or how to say it properly. It convinced me. Pridostrovia. And it's very pleasing to say it. But so I'm driving over the border. And it was a bit stressful because it was a bit like, That's not a Russian tanker, right. But you get there, and you have a bit of food,
Starting point is 00:04:35 and they give you a little shot of vodka with every meal. But then you Google the drink driving rules out there, and turns out they are very restrictive. Really? That surprises me. Really? Well, if they're serving up shots of bloody vodka with everything, yeah, it is very surprising. I just wanted a simple ball of borsh, a little bit of bread and some fat on it, some lard. You would go anywhere from lard.
Starting point is 00:05:00 Lard. is lovely, isn't it? Like, the sort of stuff that you'd sort of see your grandma putting on toast back in the day and you're like, oh, that seems very antiquated. She knew what was going on. She knew what was delicious.
Starting point is 00:05:12 Oh, it wasn't that first rodeo, was it? Wasn't that first Lard rodeo? Lard rodeo. So, yeah, I think we should get back in the Lard Coliseum. Do you... Are you not entertained? Are you not fattened?
Starting point is 00:05:26 Do you have anything else to say about your holiday? What happened? I saw you upload a a lot of arty photos to your Instagram, which is why you won't share any ramble stuff on there or anything like that.
Starting point is 00:05:38 You won't even collaborate with me on a post on there. I don't even put anything up there, do I? I don't even put anything. But every now and again, my little recall camera will pop out and then I'll, you know, get him up there when I'm feeling a bit creative. That's my little outlet.
Starting point is 00:05:56 It looks like a very arty time, is all I'm saying. It looked like a very six-form college photography lesson kind of time, isn't it? Get yourself to some waste ground. Take a picture of your largest friend and just get snapping. I think your photos are excellent, Peter. Right, right. I do.
Starting point is 00:06:15 Look, you may have insisted on edit just then when you called me your son's name, but I'm going to put it right back in the show, just like you did earlier. You little snitch. Look at you. You just call me your son's name. Oh, you leave your glasses in the car part like a prat, and you start lacking out.
Starting point is 00:06:30 You start lashing out because you look at me and you go Why aren't I swept up as him? I'm going to viciously lash out at him. Yeah. Well, all I've got to know
Starting point is 00:06:40 was about your holiday. All I've got to hang my hat on is that time where that woman stole your phone. That's all I've got. That's all I've got. That was a scam. That was on my 40th birthday as well.
Starting point is 00:06:51 Oh, happy birthday. Welcome to the 40s. Yeah, all good. Yeah, I hardly recommend. Yeah, heart does easily recommend. Not as much as a,
Starting point is 00:07:00 I could have done. It's always silly to get more drunk on the last day. Didn't get drunk on the first night because I had to go drive and the next day. Then the second night, I was absolutely fine. Third night, why did I go big on the last night when I've got to come home and feel like crap for the next week? Terrible. But the way you said that was like you've definitely rehearsed that line to the partner you have access to. Not even as piss as I could have got.
Starting point is 00:07:23 I could have got a lot more piss than I am right now. Thank you very much. I've had offers. I've had offers. What was the... Always fun when men go down that route, isn't it? I've had offers. And I said no every time.
Starting point is 00:07:37 What do you want a fucking badge? Well, you haven't had offers. I haven't had offers. No, I've not had an offer. No, I've not had an offer. God. It's been a long time. Pre-co-I had a pre-I had a few pre-COVID offers.
Starting point is 00:07:52 And that's six years ago, Luke. That's awful. I don't think I've ever had an offer. You've had offers, I'm sure. Did you, did you reach... You have to reach out and collect the offers. Is that how it works? Reach out and touch faith.
Starting point is 00:08:05 That's what I do. What was the booze of choice? You weren't just drinking fizzy lagers, were you? Well, it's Moldova's wine, in, red wine? Right. The stuff that's going to give you a real headache. Delicious. So was the journey back pretty traumatic then?
Starting point is 00:08:20 No, it's just more just like flights out of that way, especially in the middle of the day, they do tend to be delayed or late, and same word. and the and it was like high I think it's called high,
Starting point is 00:08:33 haia, high fly. It might be high fly it was a Moldovan carrier and they were perfectly fine but when you're sort of it's a three and a half hour journey
Starting point is 00:08:43 so it's really just take a little bit of time and then of course you land in Stansted and there's no trains because of train track maintenance so you've got to get a taxi on and a taxi on a hangover when you do have a ten or
Starting point is 00:08:59 to get car sick when you look at the phone, but you kind of want to look at your phone to make yourself feel better about your life. It's a recipe for disaster. It really is. I don't, do you know what? I have got to the point now in my life where I avoid sitting in the back of a taxi at all costs.
Starting point is 00:09:17 If it's a black cab and it's just around the corner, I will deal with it. But generally speaking, I need to be on a line bike. Line bike train, anything, yeah, but taxis are just like, yeah, line bags have been an absolute. revolution and anybody says they aren't like they have they're a scourge fine they're absolutely litter but um they really have been an incredible uh incredible source of like getting somewhere quickly
Starting point is 00:09:39 without i haven't used the tube without when at the time we were late for that meeting at the BBC and you and i got on the same line bike yeah yeah got a lot of work out of them didn't we yeah yeah that we didn't help that we had we had realized that we were five minutes late for the meeting and we hadn't even left our office yeah where did we go so we cycled we cycled yeah We started to learn about to the train station. They got the train and they're just... I cycled it and you set on the back. I'm not being funny.
Starting point is 00:10:04 The sort of people that I literally know who work for the BBC coddled by that organisation, that overfunded organisation in my opinion. I support the BBC entirely, but I do meet some of the people who work at the BBC and I do go, yeah, interesting. And the best people at the BBC also acknowledge that? Yes, correct. They're like, oh yeah, I'm surrounded by absolutely fucking clowns. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:28 Sorry about that. Yeah, but like, right, I can be a... Look, there are clowns all over. Everyone's organisation, one would suggest, but... And I'm one of them. But it's the arrogance. I don't think I'm out. I don't think I'm out.
Starting point is 00:10:38 I'm king clown. I don't think I'm out worth talking about. But the BBC people, they really get that pass. And they think it's, you know, they think the offers are going to come flying in. Post-COVID, one would suggest. Just because they've got a lot of pass. I think that's right. That's right.
Starting point is 00:10:54 I would have loved to have seen you become the Bureau Chief, the BBC Bureau Chief. out in Moldova. Yeah, nice. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, it was... You go viral. If you saw how landed a job
Starting point is 00:11:04 as a bureau chief out in East Europe somewhere, you would go viral. Like that Japanese ambassador, you'd be like that. It's mock up at Moldova. Eating different kinds of lard. He's in the gutter again.
Starting point is 00:11:16 Is he in the vineyards? It's just vineyards. Just constant rolling vineyards all over Moldova. Sounds fine to me. It does sound fine, but it does... You do think. think your towns and your cities kind of do need more.
Starting point is 00:11:32 And they certainly need... I was stopped by a policeman as soon as I left the airport. I was chased by a pack of wild dogs. What? And then getting over the... Start with that. What? I've asked you how you heard they was, and you've not even mentioned that.
Starting point is 00:11:44 Well, I was in me... What was it now? Suzuki, something or other. Traveler or something car. And I didn't realize that the roads were so very broken there. Like, the potholes are just incredible. Which, you know... I kind of saw in Kosovo, but I wasn't driving, so you live in London, so you're well used to it.
Starting point is 00:12:02 Well, I used to it, exactly. The Thames Water of Kishinau is absolutely fine, absolutely beyond. Still control, probably. But the, so I'm weaving around these fucking does. Then the policeman stops me. So I park in, and my friend might. You're driving at this point. I'm driving this.
Starting point is 00:12:21 You've hired a car. I'm driving this. So they drive on the left? No, right. And so I, but it doesn't matter because everyone drives on the middle of the road, because the balls are on the widest point of the road. And so, like, everyone's just swerving around in the dark, every, you know, there's some pretty suspect driving ground on there.
Starting point is 00:12:37 And my friend is, I love him to death, and every time I'm saying it makes my heart sing. But fucking hell, he's a terrible taxi driver. And he'll admit that, but good God, it's everything that any driver while they're driving will noise. There's a car, there's a car, there's a car, there's a car, there's a car. He's my name's Matthew, he's absolutely fine. But he knows, he's like that.
Starting point is 00:12:56 and his partner knows he's like that. Everyone knows he's like that. But, and he's lovely. But, but it is, it doesn't make it sound like he isn't lovely. It does make it difficult to drive. Anyway, were you crumbling under the pressure? I was crumbling under the pressure of roads, a pack of wild dogs chasing me,
Starting point is 00:13:13 the police trying to pull me over, and, and, and my mate telling me what to do. I'm like, right, I'll drive the car. Are your pilot navigating? I'm pilot flying. Let's have some decorum in the car. What did they say? They were just pulling everyone over.
Starting point is 00:13:29 So I pull them over and I can't speak Romanian. They couldn't speak English. And I later found out at the border that a Russian guard told me, every car has a little driving license, which is adorable. In the glove compartment, every car has to have a little driving license that says what it is, what it looks like. And while they were searching our car for contraband, he was checking out my little driving license. Which is very adorable.
Starting point is 00:13:54 Did you have any contraband? Didn't have any contraband. I brought some contraband back over a bit of beer and a bottle of unmarked, an unmarked bottle of beer from a supermarket and some, some, some, the jungle juice, an energy drink that looked delicious. Have you drunk it yet?
Starting point is 00:14:10 Yeah, I drank out the way back. I was knackered. I was absolutely exhausted. You know what? It's like driving in slightly difficult conditions. It absolutely exhausts you. But the Suzuki, whatever, got us over there. But, yeah, they're bored across them with all the tank and stuff.
Starting point is 00:14:24 It was a bit like, Don't like this. Is it, is it, is the foreign office advising travel to those kind of places at the moment? It is literally saying, don't do it. But I'm just a brave boy. We're just brave boys, Luke. You know, just having to have a look at. It could be bravery.
Starting point is 00:14:37 It could be some kind of latent psychological issue where you desperately need to be yourself in danger. Because you're not, your life isn't dangerous enough. Or you're feeling like you can't, you can't live outside of chaos. What's wrong with your travel insurance isn't valid? So I made sure to pump myself up on asthma med. before I got out there. Fuck in hell. You must have really wanted to go there.
Starting point is 00:14:58 Just to get you detained. I want to go to a, I want to go to a USSR theme restaurants and then go to an antique store to buy some magnets. Really wanted to do that. Really wanted to do that. The foreign officer is saying no. The travel insurance guys are saying no. Me say yes. The man from Del Monte, he say yes.
Starting point is 00:15:15 He say yes. Me say yes. There's direct whites, though, from Stansted, so they can't be that dangerous. Well, it's Moldova. You can go to Moldova. It's just the part of Moldova that's not. not Moldova and not Ukraine or Russia or Belarus or wherever the fuck is surrounded by. Right. They're just, they just, they just, it could be in the device.
Starting point is 00:15:33 It's a good point, actually, yeah. They were, although obviously over the border in Ukraine, it's, it's pretty tasty, obviously, for obvious reasons. But it's been a, it's been a funny old week, isn't it? I mean, people are sort of saying we're on the verge of something big. And I sort of get the sense. I felt like we were at the verge of something bigger when, I mean, it shouldn't be rated, I suppose, or, or, or compare. but I just get the sense that the Greenland thing seemed more destructive, strangely, because of the NATO implications. Yeah, but there weren't any missiles.
Starting point is 00:16:04 That is a good point, actually. That is a good point, yeah. But I mean, Iran, Hezbollah, they're always chucking something around, aren't they? They're always at it. They're always at it. And obviously, the Israelis are the Israelis. So I just think, yeah, I can't think it's not a decision that seems like it's going to pour well. certainly won't distract from the old file.
Starting point is 00:16:26 Is it fair to say those types that have moved to the Middle East, they could just, if they're worried about it, they could just come back to the UK on a small boat because apparently that's really easy. Yeah, apparently it's really easy. There's that turd, just a turd, a human turd. He's a guy who has been accused of like some, how am I going to do this?
Starting point is 00:16:48 Have a good run up. Think about it. He's been accused of just, just, Doing your usual kind of like, I can't be asked. There's a man who's gone over there and he's one of those kind of like fellas who tells you out and make money out of
Starting point is 00:17:03 houses and investments and all that stuff. And a couple of people have said, this guy's a fucking carpetbagger, fucking, you know, grifter, right? And I think that's fair in the grand scheme of things. And he's over there and he made
Starting point is 00:17:19 the, he did the Rio Ferdinand. I'm moving over there, the John Joe Shelby, I'm moving over there because I can't walk down the street with an expensive watch in London, even though you can repeatedly, you just can. And you, and they go to, and he's gone to Dubai. And then, of course, everything starts kind of dropping. And then he's like, I need to, I need to get back to England now because I've got an important meeting.
Starting point is 00:17:40 So, that's why. Is your meeting with, is you're meeting with a Western democracy per child? Is it? Yeah. You're meeting with a peaceful environment. A peaceful environment, yeah. A bit of peace and quiet, yeah. Is you're meeting with anywhere that isn't a gigantic Potemkin village
Starting point is 00:17:56 covered in gold leaf? Yeah, a big golden cage in the desert, as they see. Yeah. I mean, so he drives over the boat to, he drives over to Oman and then gets a private jet out there, and he's going, there is no reason why you can't get a private jet out of Oman and stuff. And it's just riling people, and it's just being silly and stuff, and he's going to look at me how, it's just like I am.
Starting point is 00:18:21 but he is running away let's make that very clear he is running away and he also has to understand that no one those types of people are not respected by anyone other than fellow people in doing that and boys under the age of 15
Starting point is 00:18:41 no one else in the world no one respects it no one can relate to it no one thinks it's impressive no one cares and they are desperate for people to care. We could all save up $400. Like you could do it tomorrow. I could go and get
Starting point is 00:18:57 400, 500 quid, 500 quid a Maserati, right? Get a little, get one of me top man suits on. Bust it around fucking Mayfair, taking pictures of myself, filming and just, you know. Don't forget pay congestion charge. I reckon that'll be factored in, shooly. If you're driving one of those stupid cars down around
Starting point is 00:19:13 Mayfair, you'd be all right, wouldn't you? It's just a ball ache for the higher company. You could just tear around there and just do some like inspirational stuff talking about, you know, looking, taking care of yourself and, you know, taking risks. I don't think people are going to, with the greatest respect, I don't think people are going to take that from you.
Starting point is 00:19:30 They're taking care of yourself bit. I won't wear my glasses. It looked like I'm having them laced with tape on them. That will give it away. I'll only face, I'll use my good side where you can't see the tape and go, listen, you need to get into Forex trading. I can do this wherever I am. I'm just choosing to do it in Leon C right now.
Starting point is 00:19:49 I'm hustling so hard that I drop. my glasses in the car park in Leoncy and someone's shrud on them. But I'm still, I'm still hustling. What's your excuse? I was looking at my laptop so hard. I was watching all of the trades going up and down that my glasses flew off my face. That is how hard I was hustling. I was looking left, right.
Starting point is 00:20:08 It was like a tennis match. And I made so much money, 4X trading that the dollar bills crushed my glasses. And now I have to, now I've taped one of them up with some tape. Exactly. The mail may not be a hundred dollar bill, a Benjamin. I was driving my Lamborghini so hard down the arterial road into Essex that my glasses flew off my face, flew off the window, and now, and it's not actually tape, it's spiders webs,
Starting point is 00:20:35 because I'm also a Spider-Man as well. So again, trying to get with the kids, trying to get with a 15-year-old kid. Yeah, the kids all love Spider-Man. Have you been to the Middle East? Have you been to any of those countries in the Middle East? No. Have I been to? No, I don't think I have. No. A couple of my friends. living those, but I had a mate who lived in Saudi Arabia for work for a bit. It's funny because, like, they, like, my mates were a little bit more kind of money, money, money, like, get that bag.
Starting point is 00:21:04 It's the dishonesty, though, that people have a problem with, though, isn't it? If you got me too right? Yeah, I don't. Yeah, do what you want to do, right? Yeah, do you want. But they did all, they were all kind of a bit like, this will be great because, you know, it's loads of money tax free. And to be fair, one of my mates who was in Sally, he got posted there because he works for, works for NATO. and he but even like after the six months he was like yeah fucking fed up at this
Starting point is 00:21:23 it's boring as shit can't go anywhere can't do anything it's fucking crap yes I've got a chef yes I've got a driver but my kids are so bored is it is there a single second of your day where you don't hear the harm of an aircon do you know what I mean it's like it's just like this this this but you can say that in the summer in the US though I mean really you can see that in the summer yeah I guess so I guess so Peter, let's have a quick break. When we come back, we're going to do more of this. We're going to perhaps,
Starting point is 00:21:53 perhaps do an email even, so look forward to that. We're back with a look of Peter, or? Yeah, we're back. Hang on a minute. My cat's trying to scratch to get in. Hang on. Where's he trying to get in? Yeah. Where's he trying to get in?
Starting point is 00:22:05 He's being really noisy. Hang on a set. Is he a real podcast fan? Is that why he's wanting to get among the podcasts? Is that what's going on here? Get out. Hang on. Ah, why have you trapped a cat? Luke? Luke, why have you trapped your cat?
Starting point is 00:22:18 Awful. See him and then get out of this door. Sorry about this, everyone. That's all right. See you later, mate. Bye. Yeah. He gets panicked for the doors, he thinks we're keeping him in
Starting point is 00:22:29 because the only time we keep him in is if he goes to the vet. Really? Oh, you just know, he knows that you're going to go to the vet. If he's stupid, on a cat. If the back door shut, he thinks I'm getting put in that vet box thing.
Starting point is 00:22:43 Right, okay, nice. I like that. He starts fighting for his life, scraping for his life. I did a bit of pressure I'm a big pressure washer fan these days I've had a few in my time
Starting point is 00:22:52 pressure washer the pavement in the garden God I wish I had some grass and the little sofa we've got Sammy does a good number on jumping up and just doing this shit on it and even when I put a cover on it
Starting point is 00:23:06 he does a shit on it and I don't know how to explain to him that's not where we shit that is just not where we shit guys because the stories you tell me it's horrible I feel like your house is covered in dog shit everywhere. Yeah, it's not dog shit, but it's
Starting point is 00:23:18 yeah, it's potty training a three year old nearly and then potty training is horrendous. It's horrendous. Because what people don't factor in is there is... Diarrhea. I haven't got to that yet.
Starting point is 00:23:35 What people don't factor in is there's a really good chance that your toddler just does not want to do it. Does I know? Why? Why would they? Indeed. Why would they? Why would you? My sounds like saying to me He gives me a look and just says, this nap is working for me, though. I ain't going to do anything. This fits him with my life.
Starting point is 00:23:53 This fits him in my life, to be honest, yeah. I'm always like, I list all of his friends by name that are already posty trained. Do you want to be like them? He's like, no. No, they're losers. I was, I, we got a birthday coming up. I can ship wherever I want. We got birthday coming.
Starting point is 00:24:09 This has become a dad pod, no. Sorry, everyone. We've become, um, the, it's become a dad pod. And I was doing, we've got. We've got a birthday coming up and a third birthday and we've hired out a little sort of soft play thing in the around the corner from us and we give invites out to,
Starting point is 00:24:28 we basically asked nursery and the child minor who their, whose daughter's name's favourite people? And so we got a list back, sent them, and we sort of neglected to ask daughter like who she actually likes and the one person she said she didn't like out of the list that we gave her once we handed out all of the invades was the only person who's RFVP'd so but they change their mind every day don't they they do change their minds every day that's a good very very good point I think it'll be fine but we had an email from from grant in Glasgow
Starting point is 00:25:06 about potty training actually says I look and Pete just wanted to share with who's the greatest thing for potty training we had an Elmo's potty time DVD and it was genuinely the best thing we ever bought as parents of a young It's 45 minutes of absolute brainwashing propaganda for using the toilet and our child was powerless against it It's on YouTube now so you ever even got to hunt down a DVD Give it a go. Lovely. She does like Elmo.
Starting point is 00:25:28 She does like Elmo. Everyone loves Elmo. Okay, right. That's a really good bit of Intel. I like that very much. What a lovely bit of, you know, munitions that we can use. Don't be using that phrase. Munitions.
Starting point is 00:25:42 Not at the moment. Not at the moment for crying out loud. I bet there's some money being made. Good God. How has any... How have Israel got anything fucking left? Honestly. Good God.
Starting point is 00:25:54 Like, how much do they fucking throw into fucking Gaza? How many did they pile into fucking hospitals? Christ on a bike. Where they keep it all? Where they're keeping it all? Why hasn't anybody found it? And to be quite a frank, blowing it up. Jeez or, right?
Starting point is 00:26:07 Ironically, the last thing they'd want to see will be Christ on the bike, presumably. I would... I would also love to just point out the delicious irony that all those so-called brave patriots, the right-wing types in the UK media are all just desperate for Stama to bend over and take it up the jacksy from Trump. Yeah. Even though, they don't support the Prime Minister at all.
Starting point is 00:26:32 They're just like, oh, well, he's pissed off Donald Trump so much for the special relationship. It's like, fucking so what? He's a mad bastard. He gives a fuck. What'd you care of Mark? And he's in an impossible situation anyway, because you say, people fucking give us Brexit and now we're a fucking international pride with no fucking money
Starting point is 00:26:46 so we have to suck everyone off we have to keep everyone sweet he's in a no-win position as well because he's like a genuinely dreadful public speaker so that puts him like a pretty difficult position as well like yeah when you need to address the public and you can't do it it's hard yeah it's hard
Starting point is 00:27:02 everyone's against you whatever you do is the wrong idea is the wrong decision and it doesn't matter even if there was a right decision you can't find the wrong decision you can't even win a row What chance have you got? At least fucking double down and win a row. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:17 The only sort of thing that if you hot, the thing that may allow him to not flap us into a fucking war is that he does have a background in law and we do have a prided. Doesn't use it. Doesn't bother. Does he? Sounds like he's never fucking seen a policeman before. The problem of it is it's the delivery mechanism.
Starting point is 00:27:40 I can't stand. It's like, listen, Kea, Sir Kea, you know, if you're having an argument with your wife and you're losing it, there are tactics. We've all used them. Use them now. Get the Elmore DVD out for crying out, ladies. Show Donald Trump the Elmo DVD. Show the Knesset. Don't blow up Iran, DVD, please. Too late for that now, Pete. Too late for that. Need the Elmo DVD, which is entitled, You've started a war of Iran.
Starting point is 00:28:09 What can you do now? Harder than Venezuela. This is going to be harder than Venezuela, says Elmo. So there we go. Here comes Big Bird to put him on to bed. Exactly. Good point. Big Bird is North Korea. You know that.
Starting point is 00:28:24 Don't bring it. Yeah, true. Right, let's get out of here. It's been real, it's been emotional. It's been, you know, touching on big ideas. Big issues and small. Big thoughts. Big and small.
Starting point is 00:28:35 Big philosophies. From the broken glasses to the smashed windows in a town. square, the Luca Pete Shore, don't laugh, has... I'm not laughing. I've continued my performance from earlier. The Luke and Pete Shore has something for everyone. Catch on acroast.com. See you on the aircraft.
Starting point is 00:28:58 The Luke and Pete Show is a stack production and part of the ACAST creator network.

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