The Luke and Pete Show - Willy Wonka’s tinfoil hat

Episode Date: February 20, 2023

The streets are paved with chocolate! Didn’t you know? That's what Pete thinks anyway. Listen in to see how he tries to explain this one...Elsewhere, we discuss the possibility that UFOs are flying over America and – shockingly – Luke appears to be sympathetic towards a group of so-called ‘conspiracy theorists’. You really have to hear it to believe it.Want to contact the show? Email: [e-mail] or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's the Luke and Pete show. That's disrespectful, isn't it? Jules Breach breaking the studio equipment. Outrageous. She turns up. I think we should start today. I think we should start today. Tell everyone listening this Monday what's fucking happened.

Some beautiful DT-770s just sat there. They're headphones. Yeah, sorry. Headphones. Studio-grade headphones. Monday, what's fucking happened? Some beautiful DT-770s just sat there and Jules... Sorry, headphones. Studio-grade headphones. And Jules Breach, either deliberately... Probably deliberately, actually, known JB. She... I wouldn't put any level of blame

on her ears, but she's just snapped the ear pads off them. And they're expensive to replace. How much is that as a bit of kit, that? I think they're about 150 each. And I think the ear pads for replacements are around about 20. She should think about that.

She should think about that. Would she do that on BT Sport? No, she wouldn't. Would she? I'd love to see her on BT Sport with a massive pair of those headphones. Well, I'll just... She's the only person wearing them. I'll just say, she's on the big, ridiculously long, beaty score sofa

and she's just got a Stanley knife and she's just going to town on the upholstery. I don't think that would be off-brand for her, would it? No, it wouldn't. She's only slagging off the Scottish Premier Show. So, hi, it's Luke Pichot, I'm Pete Donaldson, joined by Mr Luke Moore. Luke, you were talking, criticising,

I had the gall to criticise one of our very favourite water companies in the UK and you are doing on Thursday you mean on Thursday

yeah and you and you were doing something quite interesting which I find you're charging your your your

M1 MacBook Pro it's not actually it's an Air is it MacBook Air MacBook Air with what can only be described as a mobile phone charger.

No, I'm not. That's a mobile phone charger. What are you talking about? It's a tiny, it's a iPhone charger. Oh, the plug. That's a plug. Yeah, you're charging it

with an iPhone charger. Would that be what it's taking so long? I was wondering about that. Yeah, just a bit, mate. Oh, I didn't realise that. Yeah. Okay.

Look at it, it's tiny. What should I be doing? Getting a proper laptop charger. Big chunky plug. Yeah, just a bit, mate. Oh, I didn't realise that. Yeah. Okay. Look at it. It's tiny. What should I be doing? Getting a proper laptop charger. Big chunky plug. Yeah, I mean, this is... Let's see how many volts you get on this. I mean, this is one of the better ones. Jesus, my eyesight is so terrible.

Can you read any of that? Yeah, I would be able to read it. Oh, for hell. It's tiny, isn't it? Yeah. Can't see it. Yeah. Well, anyway, yeah, I mean, it...

Do you mind plugging that back in, please? It's 20 watts, which isn't like... It's not obscene. It's not obscene, but you're just going to be there for a very, very long time. What should I be packing? For a MacBook charge? Something over, I don't know, 40?

I don't know. What's it got to do with Thames Water? I'm just saying that they're really bad at getting product into your homes, and you're really bad at getting energy from the plug into your laptop. I think the energy company's got to take some responsibility for that. Apple's got to take some responsibility for that. into your homes and you're really bad at getting energy from the plug into your laptop. I think the energy company has got to take some

responsibility for that. Apple's got to take some responsibility for that. Anyway, how's your weekend been? Good? Yeah, fine. The house still not damp?

Dry as a bone. Dry as a bone. Great to see. Yeah. Great to see. I've spent a lot of time getting rid of the, I've got a yard

out the back and there's a lot of green sort of mossy kind of mildewy kind of, not mildewy. That's your next project, is it? Well, it's not really a project. I just's a lot of green sort of mossy kind of mildewy kind of not mildewy that's your next project is it well it's not really a project

I just throw a lot of chemicals down and it dies I mean do you choose the chemicals or just the nearest ones to hand just any just any one yeah

sulfuric acid how's the dog dog's fine well it's not allowed near the chemicals so yeah fine absolutely fine

doing alright yeah good staying out of trouble good pleased to hear that. Oh, I met a lovely big fat Labrador at the weekend. Really fat. Lovely to hug.

I mean, it's not great for their health, but lovely fat dog. Yeah, I don't like that. No. I'd like a dog to be lithe. Lithe? Yeah. What's your business with a dog being lithe? I think dogs should be out there.

Should be out there, yeah. Excitable and energetic. Surely the big attraction of having a dog is they've got a should be out there should be out there excitable and energetic surely the big attraction of having a dog is they've got a real kind of lust for life yeah you shouldn't have a fat dog I think we both agree on that

I will happily body shame a fat dog just to their owners it's funny a friend of mine was saying the other day that when they walk their dog they see another couple

walking their dog yeah and their dog is a similar brand brand brand breed that's right breed yeah and but it's a bit fatter right and uh then they got chatting to them and they said oh yeah whenever they order takeaway mcdonald's chinese whatever they just order an extra portion and give it to the dog yeah well you shouldn't be doing that dog Dog foods are quite a... I mean, that's how historically dogs would get fed. They're not fucking McDonald's though, is it? 40,000 years ago when they're first being domesticated. They're not giving them fucking fast food. No, they're not.

No one's eating fast food then. No. You shouldn't be doing it. Is there a law involved where you can't do that stuff? I don't think so, no. But I think if you're treating... You're specifically treating a dog badly, I think you feed them whatever you want, really. But I think if you're treating, you're specifically treating a dog badly, I think you feed them

whatever you want, really. But a lot of people just feed them scraps of whatever they're eating. Okay, I'm not sure dogs are cut out for

that. No, no they're not. And there's so much stuff that they can't eat, like onions you can't feed. You can't feed onions.

Avocados? Chocolate? Quite dangerous chocolate, yeah, that's a big no. Is it, really? Yeah. You get certain

dog chocolate they can have. Yeah, but I think it's powdered chocolate is Yeah, that's a big no. Is it really? Yeah. You get certain dog chocolate that they can have. Yeah, but I think with, I think it's powdered chocolate is the, like drinking chocolate is the big danger, I think, because it's got a higher cocoa

or something. But they do, the thing is, like if you're going to find food in the street, it's going to be chicken bones, which is dangerous when they're dried out,

and chocolate. So like the dogs are just almost gone. Where do you find chocolate in the street? Around Easter, like a lot find chocolate in the street around Easter like a lot of chocolate in the street

kids are really kids around my area are absolutely what are you talking about where do you live in fucking Willy Wonka's house there's always chocolate in the street

no there isn't the amount of times I pull a bloomin full fucking Snickers out of Buckley's mouth and he'd try and bite me because he's like fucking I wanna die

I wanna die I wanna eat it and die this is the way I want to die. I want to die. I want to eat it and die. This is the way I want to go. You don't understand. They love it. They love chocolate. Let me just make this absolutely clear for our listeners who will be as baffled as me.

There's always chocolate around. You just don't spend much time looking at the floor. You're dreaming in the skies. I like the thing I can sniff out chocolate. Thank you very much. There's nothing going on about chemtrails and stuff. I don't think I can sniff out chocolate, thank you very much. There's nothing going on about chemtrails and stuff. I don't think that around Easter, the UK turns into some kind of fucking Willy Wonka.

It's just always chocolate on the street. Look around. There's always a fucking Kit Kat. It's always shit chocolate. No one's ever said that. An old 80s Spira. If people complain about stuff on the street, it's like dog shit and stuff.

It's not chocolate. Oh, sorry I'm a bit late. I was marauding my way through a mountain of Mars bars on the pavement.'s like dog shit it's not chocolate oh sorry I'm a bit late I was marauded in my way for a mountain of Mars bars on the pavement that's not how it works

there's always chocolate on the street look down I'm going to do a Twitter poll about that I think people I say I am Rory's going to

if you see a full bar of chocolate in the street you've got to send us it it's the law don't send it to care of Pete's dog though no speaking of dogs

so one of the best places for dogs without question is the Lake District which is where I was a week ago. And you really don't I mean we're probably

the only people there out walking and stuff that don't have a dog and you see some great dogs and the guest house we stayed in you'd have hated this by the way.

So we went to a guest house that we stayed in a year or so before in your face just going what time do you want breakfast but listen to this though it's much

worse than that they weren't even open they opened for us so it's just us and them testicles have shriveled

it was lovely probably because of the trousers but yeah it's just I can't handle it whole place to ourselves

quiet brilliant anyway they've got the people who run the guest house, which is called the Wheatlands Lodge up in Windermere. Beautiful place. If you're in that part of the world, you should go there. Great place.

And they've got a rough collie called Alfie. Right. Don't have a go. No, no. A rough collie. That's the breed. Is that the breed? It's like a lassie.

Like lassie. What's that? Really long haired collie. Is that what they're called? A rough collie? I believe so, yeah. Here you go. Look. It's a dog breed. Look. Looks like that. haired collie is that what is that what they're called a rough collie I believe so yeah here you go look it's a dog breed look

looks like that a rough collie looks like that yes yeah yeah don't see it very often anymore yeah this one you never see them

which is why it's kind of interesting but this one is particularly hairy but it's a great dog because they've got this manner where they're very aloof they show no emotion

they're not bothered. Right. And Alfie the dog, he has his breakfast in the morning, first thing, has his walk, has his breakfast. And then they put his lead, his collar on this quite long lead. Yeah. Which the other end of it is tied to the house. Yeah.

And he sits there and that's his spot. Yeah. He's there all day. Yeah. And he sits in the middle of the staircase outside leading up to the door. And he will move for nobody, right? So when we got there, and we knew about him because we'd been there before, you can't, it's quite hard to get your bags in.

Yeah, because he's just in the way. And it's a dog, right? See, I don't want to drop a heavy bag on a dog. No. So it's really difficult to get into the fucking guest house. And you know house does he only trust one man can you negotiate with him

I don't think he trusts anyone I think he doesn't follow anyone's lead so to speak but he has to be brushed every day very high maintenance dog pedigree breed

costs a lot of money so they have to and they're just leaving it on the stairs well exactly you have to be a bit careful about that because they had another dog

which was a bit of a character, which belonged to their kid, their son, I think. And he chewed for his own lead. Right. And went for a little run. That's impressive. Someone thought he'd been stolen, but he hadn't in the end.

But I think, is dog crime a big problem? I think it might be up in that part of the world. It is all over the place. It wasn't COVID, wasn't it? A lot of pugs getting stolen and stuff. It's so sad. I would, out of all of the horrible things you could do to somebody

I think stealing the dog is up there with being absolutely the worst 100% but anyway we're in the Lake District for a week

beautiful have you been up there briefly yeah it's beyond you hated it no I was off to a festival I was working at a festival there was no video games

what I said no video games or what you didn't bring any books with you I did yeah I did video games. Got a lot. What? I said no video games. Are you wrestling? Oh, what? Are you wrestling? You didn't bring any books with you? I did. Yeah?

Yeah, I did. So you've got the video games of the past, haven't you? Your little stories. Well, you'll like this as well. I haven't said what I've just said. I actually spent quite a lot of time replaying Breath of the Wild. New one's coming out soon.

Tears of the Kingdom, baby. Ooh, like that. Tears of the Kingdom. Have you seen the trailer? I mean, it's just all fucking elves and stuff, isn't it? It's brilliant, though. It's a brilliant game.

You can't honestly tell me you don't think it's a brilliant game. It's very relaxing, I seem to recall. Very immersive. Yeah. Very immersive. I just, I need to... I saw I finished fucking Monkey Island. The new Monkey Island.

Is there a new one? There's one that came out last year. I just haven't... Ron Gilbert came back in October with a new one. And what platform? Steam. PC. PC and Switch, I think. So anyway, we're in the Lake District, right? And we're walking around near Grasmere.

And for those people who know that part of the world, we're doing the walk from Grasmere up to the Rydal Caves, which is an old slate mine, which has not been in use for a very long time, but it's kind of like a tourist attraction now. It's not like a gift shop or anything. It's just a thing. You can walk up into the hills. And we were walking

up there. And it's quite isolated around that part and there's not many people around. And the Wi-Fi I have access to and I walk in, and there's nothing around. And you start to hear this kind of low rumble. Like that. I thought, what the fuck is that? It was going on for quite a while.

They got louder and louder. And then, we're walking like a valley. So there's two quite, it's Lake District. The mountains, they're obviously mountains, but they're not the Himalayas, but they're big enough, right? And we're walking through this valley. Screaming over the top of the mountain and swinging through the valley and screaming over the top of the mountain and swinging through

the valley flying about 150 feet these two fighter jets come over oh wow cool and you could see them so low you could see the outline of the pilot in the cockpit it's the outline of their cocks i said it's easy wearing pink trousers no but it but it was honestly, mate, honestly, so exciting. Yeah. It was like, it was... Top gun. He felt like a kid. Yeah.

And they were so fast. I say that, I mean, you could kind of say, were they so fast? They were fine fucking quick. I mean, by any stretch of the imagination, if it's a plane, it's gone quite quick anyway, but like, yeah, it's gone super fast. And this was serious, right?

Yeah. And then I got so excited by it that I had to look into it. And basically, I didn't know this, and there's a couple of Instagram accounts dedicated to it, but if it's a clear day, that's where they take fighter pilots for low-level training.

Right. Because it's such a challenging landscape. Yeah, and you're just having a nice little walk around and they're just cutting about in their fighter jets. Some of the Instagram accounts, I mean, whether you're into fucking planes or not, and you should be into planes because they're fucking awesome. Some of the manoeuvres are just absolutely incredible.

Oh, mate, it's fucking brilliant. I couldn't believe my luck. I couldn't stop thinking about it for ages afterwards. And I think the same thing about the juxtaposition of the technology and the landscape. It's just like, this is fucking cool. But those guys were cool. They probably weren't. They're probably bores. But in that moment in the plane, it's just like, this is fucking cool. But those guys were cool. They probably weren't.

They're probably boars. But in that moment, in the plane, they were cool. Well, they're probably just out testing, you know, testing maneuvers

to intercept some more of these UFOs that have been kicking around Alaska and stuff. as you know, Pete, I'm a big part of the UFO community. I follow a lot of accounts about that. And they're going mad. Well,

I mean, I mean, this happened last week. Can I just say, sorry, they're going mad, even for them. Even about that. And they're going mad. Well, I mean, this happened last week. Can I just say, sorry, they're going mad even for them. Even for them. Because the US authorities are kind of adding grist to their mill by saying, oh, we can't rule out that it's extraterrestrial. Or is it just some despotic regime chancing around

with a tiny little fucking camera or whatever? It's not necessarily a balloon there's probably loads of these things kicking around what I would say is this

there's something going on there's something weird going on and it could so here's the thing say it's China say it's China

and there could be a number of reasons why China are doing it distraction just give America something to think about but realistically Pete I think I'm right in saying here China are doing it distraction just give America something to think about but realistically Pete I think I'm

right in saying here China are not going to get any surveillance data to anywhere near the level doing that than they get on

fucking TikTok or through Huawei devices or whatever TikTok's basically a gigantic fucking data harvesting operation

anyway that the West have completely fallen hook line sinker for right is that fair but what are they getting data wise

they're getting a lot of pictures, a lot of faces, a lot of physical... Locations? Why does that help, though? You know what I mean? They probably get where people are. What are you actually bringing to them? But what are you getting from a surveillance balloon that you can't get from... Well, I mean, I think...

Do you not think, at this point in the game, everyone's just being... I think... Xi Jinping and all, and they, they, they are besieged by fucking issues. You know, they've opened the country and the, you know,

their, their, their health situation is, is dire. They're, they're, they're really distracted. They haven't had the economic growth that,

that they should have had over the past couple of years, cause of COVID and other stuff as well. And there's zero COVID policy and all that stuff. And I do not think it's just a bit of fucking normal you know you know communist party playbook just fucking a bit

of bit of fun it's just a bit of fun isn't it just dicking about just go remember us we're still a power that's assuming that it is them

I mean they said that it was them one of them was yeah well so the balloons was but do you not think that anybody could get

something flying that high with a fucking rocket or whatever the fuck? Not anybody. Not anybody. But like an amateur. Remember the balloon boy? Remember that kid who was reportedly in the balloon? No, that was a famous man.

I've never heard of that. The balloon boy, that bloke who, he was like a bit of a madman. I think he's dead now. He said, he was like like he let this weather balloon off basically and he said that a boy had climbed into the weather balloon right so it was the balloon boy it was like about 10 years ago it was always and it was and it was on and it was on the news that his son had clamped clambered into the balloon and he hadn't but he hadn't he the guy had lied and he had hidden his child

so obviously the child's taken off of him because he's mad so what are you doing yeah so you just this big media circus

where this man was basically saying I've let off a balloon I think it was like 10 years ago and it was the balloon boy you must remember the balloon boy it's like pizza rat

it's like the balloon boy it's the thing that everyone remembers I remember pizza rat but what was he doing up there but I'm just saying that amateur enthusiasts you know aeronautic enthusiasts could get something up that high possibly butites, the thing that everyone remembers. I remember Pizza Rat. But. What was he doing up there? But I'm just saying that amateur enthusiasts, you know,

aeronautic enthusiasts could get something up that high. Possibly, but here's the thing. I'm not saying there's anything particularly untoward going on, necessarily. It's not aliens, though, is it? Well, listen, just bear with me for a second. I'm not saying it's aliens, but bear with me. The backdrop of what's been happening in the US

politically in terms of the releasing of all this information which is essentially sent ufo i mean look conspiracy theorist is like a real loaded term these days yeah they're not all conspiracy theorists a lot of them are just interested in aviation interested in technology interested in the prospect of this other stuff and i think there's nothing wrong with that per se um so they're already on fire with all this information that's been released there's been a lot of um committees in congress have been talking about this stuff and the reason they're doing it is because um a lot of

whistleblowers are coming out now ex-servicemen pilots all the rest of it a lot of footage backing it up as well saying lots of weird shit's happening, and we don't know what the fuck it is, right? And a lot of the video footage is pretty convincing. I'm not saying that this stuff is related to that, but what I am saying is, I believe that if that kind of stuff was happening, how it's been reported by the American authorities

is exactly how they would report it. Right. So I'm not saying that everything that happens is that kind of stuff. But if it was, that's what they'd be saying. Yeah. And that's why it's interesting, I think, because they're giving some information because they can't really not give any information because so many people have got access to tech and to get out there and to talk about it.

So they can't contain it. Like they could, it could even be them doing shit, like testing stuff. Yeah. They have to announce something, which I find really interesting. Yeah. But I guess there's very little chance it is an alien civilisation.

It's probably just somebody pissing about. But that's what they want you to think. Balloon Boy. Let's have a break. Hello, Balloon Boy and Balloon Boy and Balloon Girl and Balloon Girl and all of the other balloon people. I'm Pete Donaldson, joined by Luke Moore.

It's the second half of the Luke and Pete Show on Monday the 20th of February. We're going to bash you a couple of emails because we have been promising it for a little while. If you want to tweet us at LukeandPeteShow is the way to do that. And you can also get in touch at helloatLukeandPeteShow.com and that's the email and the Twitters and the socials. Yeah, so a couple of emails here. One from

Scott, which I'd like to read first. Ooh, Scotty. Who says... Scotty, too hotty. He says, dear Luke and Pete. Hello to you, Scott. He says, hearing the tale of Pete's harrowing near-death experience in the waters of Costa Rica reminded me of one of my own embarrassing brushes

with the aquatic afterlife. I'm not sure you were embarrassed by it, were you, Pete? Yeah, I was embarrassed by it. Oh, you were embarrassed by it. Yeah, mortified. Everyone's looking at me. Scott's embarrassed as well because he says, a few years ago, thefi i've access to and i took a trip to cancun with some friends given that it was hurricane season we got a great deal on our hotel but along with

that came some very angry waves at the beach yeah thinking ourselves brilliant we marched down to the sea with a menagerie of inflatable sea creatures on which to ride the waves and assert our dominance over the mighty atl. Having had no previous experience surfing, my blow-up turtle, I was little equipped to deal with the 10 to 15 foot waves that began to pummel me and my inflatable companion. I soon found out the hard way that clinging to the handle of a turtle filled with air

while being slammed into the ocean floor by thousands of gallons of crashing seawater is a one-way ticket to a dislocated shoulder and torn rotator cuff. Luckily, a few coronas helped me come down from the shock and the rest of the trip was without major incident. Now it's 10 years later and I still have a hard time deciding what's worse,

that I have a pain in my right shoulder at this very day or that the doctor listed the cause of injury as inflatable sea turtle in my medical records. Cheers and thanks for all the good times. Scott from Asheville, North Carolina. Good vibes.

I'd love to know more about what Asheville, North Carolina's like, Scott. I've been to Charleston, which is one of the nearest places I've been there. Did you have a Charleston chew? I didn't, no.

We've talked about this before. But that's one of the lyrics I never got in that Eminem song until I saw what it was. That's what's got, do you want to do, Lewis has got an email here, mate, about his microwave which I talked about before, but do you want to read

that one out? Lewis, Luke might think he's defying the odds with his nine-year-old microwave. However, my parents' microwave is the one which my parents gifted my mum when she bought her first flat in 1984. I remember it would break down now and again in the late 90s and we'd drive it from Glasgow to Falkirk to see the

microwave repairman. But since he's retired and closed his shop about 20 years ago, the microwave hasn't once been on the blink. Good man. It makes the best baked potatoes in the world and is the only microwave I've used which manages to successfully defrost food without, oh god, I'm getting so emotional, without cooking it along the way.

Now when the thing finally packs in I will take it harder than any of the family pets that have died over the years. Big old microwaves did last and do last like you wouldn't believe. We just live in such a disposable fucking world right now. We just throw things away. My mum and dad's

iron I think they got when they got married in the 70s and that's still going and it's really heavy like there's a lot of shit in there it's not complicated though is it as a device

not in well microwaves aren't that complicated in the grand scheme of things is a 1984 microwave safe well as long as it's shielded properly I imagine

yeah there was a lot more microwave kind of kind of mania in the 80s wasn't it like everyone was worried about it cooking your brain

and stuff yeah if you looked into it. Yeah. If it was shielded incorrectly, it would cook your eyes. Yeah. Yeah, you don't want to be doing that. No.

Frederick Stevens, according to the Daily Telegraph, which I'm going to be honest with you now, this is the only time I'd ever look at the Daily Telegraph website. Frederick Stevens, in 2009 apparently, I don't know if it's still going now, but in 2009, he had essentially the record for the oldest working microwave. He had had it since 1969.

So he had it for 40 years. That's a little too old for me. I would say 69, I'm like, that's like, that's moon time. It's a bit Cold War. Going to the moon.

It's a bit Cold War. Yeah. And he claims to have been able to have cooked 150,000 meals in it, right? So that's 40 years old. If it's still going now, it's going to be, what, 50-odd years old. But what made me think about that was, you're claiming that you've done 150,000 meals in it, right?

A little bit funny, but that's essentially 10 microwave meals a day. Right. He's had a nightmare there. Yeah yeah you'd be dead yeah in that many microwave don't worry about the microwave yeah he's about he's about in his 60s anyway by the look of it if you've been doing 10 microwave meals a day for 40 years you've undermined the whole fucking argument the oldest working microwave is a quite a good line i've had it 40 years yeah how many meals have you done in it 150,000 no you fucking haven't

too many you've gone too far there no one can eat 10 microwave meals a day the salt alone would kill you so I think you want to be careful about your claims

although I am very very impressed by Lewis's grandparents gift to his mother of a 39 year old microwave I'd love to know Lewis

as a follow up what's the last thing you ate out of it because you know I'm a little bit sceptical not that sceptical but perhaps a little bit sceptical let's do

what other email should we do should we do one more yeah okay this is less an email more a story it's got our attention from our listener friend, Arthur.

Hello to you, Arthur. He says, hello, Luke and Pete. I've been listening to the podcast since the days when you obsessed over the minutiae of Wikipedia articles. I've never sent anything in before, but I thought this story was right up your street. And the story is as follows. A seal by the name of Nelson has recently got itself

stuck in an angling reservoir. Oh dear. And it's reportedly, it's the last person you want in there, reportedly snacking on all the very expensive fish and the ducks.

They've tried to capture it twice, but it can't be caught for some reason. And it's still doing its thing. The picture of the seal is amazing. It's giving a lovely little side eye

thinking, yeah, I'm having all the fish I want. A couple of quotes from the article. It probably has no incentive to leave as it's found itself in a branch of waitrose and is munching its way through the fish to the marine rescuer.

The owner of the lake, who is supposedly an angler and a lover of the environment, says, it's not made for fresh water, even though it's ruining my business. I suppose it's still part of nature, but it's an unwanted part. I suppose it's a big part of nature.

If there are any local journalists out there worth their salt, they need to be doing a follow-up on this. Is the seal still there? Big fat seal. Because this story is from a fair while ago. It's from 10th of January. So we don't know if it's still there.

I'd love to see it would be. What heaven that is for the seal, Peter. Yeah. That's basically like you in a video, you in a Maplins. It's like the seal that used to hang out outside Billingsgate Fish Market down in East London. There used to be a seal that used to hang around because people would throw fish in the sea.

Not telling any of his mates. Yeah. His little secret. He's putting on loads of timber. He's like, how are you? How have you? But it's you in a mapland isn't it it's me and a mapland

we tried to rescue him we can't get him out oh I need to buy some fuses oh what for a sander good good don't elaborate on that

good stuff you seen it by the way before we go do some body mods have you watched the second season of Clarkson's Farm no I didn't watch the first one

okay I wouldn't like it to watch the second one I'll level with you. There's a brilliant scene in it where he tries to demonstrate how to use a mandolin for slicing potatoes to his partner and basically almost slices his thumb off. It's horrific and it happens in real time and it is awful to watch. Ah.

Yeah. Ah. Don't like it. Anyway, let's go. Let's go over here. We've got things to do. We'll be back on Thursday for batteries and stuff, so send them in at Luke and Pete Shaw on the Twitter.

We'll also be following on Instagram as well, so get involved. What are you doing? While we've got to finish now, what are you doing now? Meeting. Oh, you've got a meeting. Okay, fair enough.

I just didn't know. Cool. Yeah, hello at lukeandpete.com is the email address. We'd love to hear from you in all the different forms of communication, but thank you very much for listening to us. I know most of you would have switched this off now

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but our business chances too. Thanks very much. We'll see you next time. Shopping orders. We are in a recession. The Luke and Pete Show is a Stack Production and part of the Acast Creator Network.