The Luke and Pete Show - You’re not my dad!

Episode Date: April 1, 2024

Could you tell the difference between New York or South London? Is Donald Trump on a dog hating campaign? And would you mess with an Eastern European tough guy? The lads come armed with the hard questions this week.Plus, Luke tells us about his great granddad's crazy german shepherd and Pete's recently visited Bulgaria - without telling Daddy Lukey…Want to get in touch with the show? Email: [e-mail] or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Follow us @thelukeandpeteshow. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's the Luke and Pete show It's Monday Have you had your Dolmio day yet? Where's that come from? Dolmio day They're still doing that? I don't know Stop doing adverts for companies that aren't paying us

Sports On mentioned it They were doing a rate It's not Hobgoblin I don't even like Hobgoblin I wouldn't drink it I think the bottle of Hobgoblin I don't even like hobgoblin I wouldn't drink I think the bottle of hobgoblin that he left for us

was never drunk so there you go I'm scared I'll taste something because you watched out the building and couldn't

come back in I want to collect my stuff you don't have any stuff I want that hobgoblin excuse me

it's a bottle of hobgoblin it's a bottle of hobgoblin we were talking about when I was fired from doing the X-Men breakfast

show because I allowed a spokes goblin to chat about a beer It's a bottle of Hobgoblin. We were talking about when I was fired from doing the X-Men Breakfast Show because I allowed a Sporks Goblin to chat about a beer. And when I was fired, I remember we had a meeting with the very, very high ups, like the owners of the company kind of thing. And the writing was on the wall. And then a couple of weeks later. It's quite exciting, isn't it? It's exciting to get that kind of meeting.

It is, yeah. And I was trying to think, why have you got such big trainers on? I clearly wasn't paying attention. I clearly wasn't paying attention. Ashitae Bar, owner of Global, wears big trainers. And I don't know why. The thing about that type of level of meeting for us is that it's exciting because you know

it's either going to be fucking astronomically good news or you're going to be penniless. Always been bad news. There's no in-between. I'll tell you for what. My financial security increased massively when I left. 50 quid a day? Yeah, brilliant.

I once worked at Lloyd's TSB, right, in the call centre. And on a Saturday, none of the managers were there. And sometimes what I used to do, and I probably take this opportunity to apologize to anyone out there who was a victim of this as a lowest ESP customer hmm I used to after the job was that it was called inquiries and concerns they'd come straight through to you from the public right and if you could sort their shit out for them you do it but otherwise you have to transfer them to other departments right yeah but on a, you have to transfer them to other departments, right? Yeah. But on a Saturday, you use this phone console to do that, of course.

But on a Saturday, there was no management. And so a lot of the other departments weren't open. So what used to happen was, so say, for example, you had a specific issue around the check not clearing. You'd have to go to that specific department. But that department would only be manned like 9 to 5, Monday to Friday. But inquiries and concerns was open all the time. So when I did did Saturday morning I would know I wouldn't be able to help them so the only thing I could say was wait until Monday or go into your branch before it closes on a Saturday at one o'clock that's all you can do and people don't want to do that why would they staff

that why would they staff that out of hours when you literally can't fix anything that they was annoying right so what I mean to cut a long story short I'm not saying I, I'm not defending this. I'm just giving you a bit of context. What I used to do is put them on hold and transfer them to my mate's mobile phone numbers. Right, yeah,

yeah, yeah. So they would be invariably in bed at like 9am on a Saturday and be confused and it would just be funny and on a Saturday night it would be a funny thing

to talk about down the pub. So I used to do that. I didn't know people knew I was doing that, right? I mean, there is a paper trail surely of where it's recorded right but the volume of recall calls was so high that i thought there's

no chance i'm going to get busted until i got a uh little message that my quarterly one-to-one was going to be done with the guy who was i think the area director for all the call centers that was your first clue, wasn't it? That's not going to be good, is it? That's not going to be good. I don't smell a promotion. No, he's still there, I think. He popped up on some news programme about you.

Really? For Lloyds TSB? I don't know if he's still at Lloyds TSB, but he's a big cheese now. Right. But anyway, so I got the one-to-one with him and he was like, look, he's actually all right about it. He was like, look, listen, mate, come on. Yeah, I understand, like, you don't want to be doing this.

But come on. And I was like, yeah, fair enough. I actually took it on the chin and I ended up leaving anyway. But it was pretty exciting to get that message. Well, it sounds like the only time you get the ear of the bigwigs, you've got to send a few... What kind of message does that send? You've got to send uh um unhappy customers to your friends i mean yeah i had to do two weeks on paid training for that job as well that seems not fair no no i think it's wrong have

you ever seen have you ever heard there's a um radio advert of Octopus Energy. Yeah. It's a lot of testimonials, like audio testimonials of people ringing up Octopus Energy. And they've just been, you know, someone's done something good for them. And they're going, honestly, I think that this is the best energy company out there. And honestly, you could quote me on that.

And it's like, who talks like that to your fucking energy company? It's wild. And I think they're real. I think they might be real, Luke. So how are they sourcing those? Well, presumably because your calls are recorded, blah, blah, blah. But it just seems bizarre that people would speak in such glowing terms about their...

People even swear they're that passionate about it. If you do... I like Octopus, but I don't like the fact that you have to do your own meter reading. Right, okay. There's more and more in society. I'm not really familiar.

There was a little plushy, plush octopus that turned up, which I think was a promotional octopus. Spokespeople, they just find their way to my door. But the little plush octopus that was just suddenly in my life, in my house. And I don't know where it's come from. I don't think we are octopus guys.

It's just very confusing. So two things I've noticed around this in society these days. One is everything you have to do yourself, whether it be a meter reading or going shopping and doing the self-checkout, all that kind of stuff. You've all got to do it yourself now. And the second thing is that everything has to be a subscription everything yeah yeah yeah when i swear like tell you for example adobe suite which we have to use here all the time you used to just be able to

buy that you did yeah yeah everything's a subscription now everything even like stuff that used to cost like i don't know like 3d studio i used to use when i back in the day and that was there was a sort of thing that everyone pirated because no one could afford you know thousands of pounds but now it's like a subscription it's like 250 quid a year it's bloody is that why because they're trying to outmaneuver the pirate the pirate pretty much yeah and i but the but the thing is you get like nowadays not only subscriptions to you get subscriptions we spoke about this before about like cars and um farmers are like hacking their like tractors to get their tractors to to work because they've they've got um they've got these really weird sort of licensing you don't own anything anymore you're just renting it but you're still spending twice as much money where farmers are hacking

it's gone too far a farmer should have no business needing to hack anything it's an outdoor life hack down a tree or a tree that a horse keeps on butting into i don't know i think you kind of you are showing yourself up as not knowing much about farm life with that kind of comment well i'm just i'm just sort of thinking about what reasons i mean farmers surely hack things down i'm sure they're uh they're on nodding terms with a big um saccateur or a knife you're not using a saccateur for a tree peter or a knife you could you could keep well you might really enjoy the process you might be doing it um surgically what some kind of farming shawshank redemption yeah just sort of doing it bit by tiny bit over years yeah i think i think um if you think about the size of those massive redwood

trees they used to chop down by hand in the US. That's a wild thing to think about. Yeah, but a great... It would almost be like a little biblical story, the man who tried to chop down a redwood with a pair of sacateurs. It's like the myth of Sisyphus or whatever. But Peter, I was going to say to you actually before we moved on from that,

you're a voiceover guy, right? Right. You're kind of one of the most sought-after voiceover artists in the UK today, would you say? Yeah, they can never find me. Would you be up for being the hobgoblin hobgoblin next yeah i think so i'd have to relinquish my love of um tisky wouldn't i i'd have to stop drinking because you're a fizzy lager man so would they have they might have a problem with that but if that's a hurdle they can get over philosophically can you lend yourself to the

accent or would you do it as a heartlepudlian? I'll say, I think I sound like a brewer. I think if I ramped up the old accent a little bit. I can definitely, you've definitely got the same manner and voice as those timeline scullers

on Twitter. They just love to get into the ale. They just love to get into that ale. And then they can get, you know, the dragon soup,

whatever they can get their hands on really. My favourite of the timeline scholars is the bootlegger right is he technically part of that universe I don't think he's

really involved he was upset by Wrexham Lager it was a massive hoo-ha between him and Wrexham Lager they hadn't paid I enjoyed that

series of videos it was like you know dirty baby you got my money don't you worry all that business it was like give me my money you got my money don't you worry all that business it was like give me my money you must respect that though peter because presumably you've been owed money

for freelance work and stuff in the past you've never gone around to that place and started to raise merry hell personally have you no i think that would be a strange thing to do and i think with i think with him uh the captain he's got a he's got a a menacing charm about him, the way that he speaks. He sort of goes, after everything. He goes, all right there, lads,

it's going to be tasty today. When he's being jovial, it's quite charming. When he's actually being sinister, it's frightening. Yeah, it's weird, isn't it? Because he's a roofer, isn't he, by trade? And I imagine he could probably

throw a rock on your head. Tile. John bought me his autobiography as a joke present for Christmas. And it was quite difficult to get through because he's had a really, really hard upbringing. Right, okay. It was actually quite upsetting. All right. What sort of stuff?

Well, you know the people... This isn't a tasty childhood, baby. All right. Right. What sort of stuff? Well, you know the people... This isn't a tasty childhood, baby. All right. You know the people who have, like, had a really rough time of it, and so as adults, they are all just really friendly all the time.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, obviously, I understand you can go either way, right? But I think those ones, those people are like, they've just seen it so bad, they're like, I'm just really happy to be here. Everything's great, yeah.

I think he's a bit like that. Good on him. Yeah, I think so. pay him his bloody money god damn it i think he was actually paid in the end he did yeah because he's scared i think we should probably be too powerful wrap that story yeah that's the thing isn't it if you're a company that wants to go and do a deal with a big influencer you need to get your shit together because otherwise you're going to be on the wrong side of it every single time no one one cares. No one's going to side with Rex from Lager in that situation.

No. I mean and also I would say that the he's he's they're like influencers are way more live. They've got more

free time than you have. So pay them the goddamn money. Also a lot of influencers I would say the good ones they know their

audience so well. I sometimes feel like with traditional media people, like TV presenters or whatever, I would say, for example, take Gary Lineker, right? He won't really know anything about the match of the day audience, right? No. He'll be so far removed from that. It's too broad a product, though, isn't it?

I think possibly. It's just football. Everyone watches match of the day. Everyone. But I always remember working with Jack, Jack I think, everyone watches Match Today, everyone. But I always remember working with Jack, Jack mate for the first time. Right.

And really being impressed by how much of a forensic idea he had about whether an idea or a format would work for his audience or not.

He was very into his audience. But isn't that half knowing the algorithmic quirks of YouTube as well I think that's where it comes from for sure but I think you start to be able to build up a picture of the people that are listening and stuff

because when I do Abroad in Japan with Chris Broad he spends more time thinking about the thumbnail than he does the actual video itself there are some people out there who just do thumbnails as a job yeah well I mean they will do because it is you can lose thousands of pounds if you get it slightly wrong.

I don't understand. I don't understand how. It's so unbelievably formulaic. So I understand why YouTube would reward a certain way of doing a thumbnail, but I don't understand what's the link between that and the audience it's just the audience won't see it otherwise i just think that the the people click on i mean i don't i i mean fundamentally i don't know but they uh there's just so many different kind of rules about what language to use um whether to have you like your mouth open

or your mouth closed in a thumbnail which direction to point your face in in the thumbnail? Just all this mad, mad stuff that means zero, means diddly squat to the actual content you're producing. It's very depressing for quite talented people. But how do they get data on that stuff specifically? I think it's just, well, trial and error and also just watching what Mr Beast is up to. Right.

So a lot of that surely comes down to that, right? But then the algorithm changes without notice a lot of the time, doesn't it? Yeah. Look, I have not got a clue. I was saying to someone in the office earlier that, weirdly enough, all the kind of rules that you'd think would apply to broadcasting and therefore podcasting are broken several times a week by Joe Rogan. He's the biggest podcaster in the world.

Yeah, but I think a lot of these legacy products have just been gone for such a long time if you launched a joe rogan now it'd just be like i'm just weirdo but he's yeah his data is so financially important but he's he's had that over years and years and years hasn't he was one of the first so i i don't think i don't think joe rogan would be in any way as popular now depending on guests and stuff and it was not about him it's all about his whichever guest comes on

no and his dog whistles and his little whistles innit and his little doggy woof woofs innit yeah

he gets a lot of stick on Twitter and probably rightly so Peter let's have a break and when we come back I've got a couple of emails

I want to do because we haven't done emails for a wee while and there's some stuff in here that I'd quite like to discuss so we should probably do that. Oh, okay.

We're back with a Luke and Pete show. Luke, I, over the weekend, was in Bulgaria. Were you? Bulgaria. You didn't fucking tell me that. Why do you keep doing stuff and not telling me? What do you mean? You're not my dad. What are you in Bulgaria for? I just popped over.

Who with? My mate. My mates. My mates. Alex. Alex. And who else? Craig.

Scottish Craig. Why are you always going to random places with Alex and Craig? And Matthew Young. All right? Which is the one... I've not seen Matthew Young for ages. All right. Where do you go?

Sofia? He lives in Liverpool. Yes, did. What was the indie club like? There wasn't one, but there was a band playing the Sounds of Seattle, circa 1994, which I very much enjoyed.

Bit of teen spirit, bit of Soundgarden. Lovely old job. What was the part that you have access to you think about you just swallowing off for a weekend? We've got quite a lot of stuff on at the moment so she wasn't best pleased did you book it without telling her no I told her

but look fair's fair I need this Jesus I was about to say if you book it without telling her I'll know how she feels

and also when I do something it's not a big thing like I go on a Friday, come back as early as I can on a Sunday. You're barely away for 48 hours

in reality. She's probably not even She just thinks she's down the cabin. I went to it. I'm off to H&M. Not H&M. B&Q.

I'm off to B&Q. So what did you do in Bulgaria? So you hung out and listened to a guy doing a lot of Pearl Jam covers. What else?

Yeah. Ate some delicious Bulgarian food. That food out that way is so nice. And I guess it's kind of like, there was a William Gladstone street. Right. That's interesting. And I remember from my earlobes, he was obviously a big defender of,

back when Bulgaria was obviously ruled by the Turkish, but he was obviously a big defender of Bulgaria. But I didn't realise he cut through all that much. But there's an accident near where the flat was, was literally, it was Ludo's flat, who's the Airbnber Beeman. Oh, I left my wallet there. That was a nightmare.

I left it in the flat, I think. I've had to cancel all my cards. You have to get a bit tactical if you've got two cards because if you cancel all your cards at the same time, it's a nightmare because you're just like,

well, I don't have any access to funds. So you cancel one, freeze the other one, then unfreeze it and then cancel it. It's quite tactical. When did you find out? When did you realise you had lost it?

Airport. And I was like, you know what? I had a good look around that flat. I don't know where I've put it. But the problematic thing is WrestleMania off to Philadelphia to do WrestleMania in a couple of weeks' time. City of brotherly love.

City of brotherly love. And I don't have a driving licence to rent a car, which is going to... And Mark doesn't drive, does he? Mark doesn't drive. I'll have to get the train. Actually, the train's quicker from New York, isn't it? That's a great train journey,

but the problem you'll have is when you're trying to get around Philadelphia itself, I expect. It's not that big a city. But, like, is it fair to say, you're more aware of the American stuff. People are quite... I sort of said, look,

like, the last two times at WrestleMania you've done shows from WrestleMania, it's been fucking nightmare. Oh, well, it was good in Dallas because it was quite traversable. But then in Los Angeles,

we were just stuck in, you know, Koreatown in Ubers all of the time. And we just had all of our time sort of munched up by the traffic.

It's obviously like going from West Hollywood to where we were. The worst cities in the world that i've experienced for traffic are the top three would be london la and dublin oh dublin's quite bad isn't it a lot of foot traffic in dublin so but the point is someone like philadelphia i'm sure you'd probably be all right yeah philly philly's fine i've driven around there myself actually but i um but i would say that like people sort of find when i say i'll have to walk around philadelphia on the shore and and they're like oh don't walk around philadelphia and it's

like are americans quite quite concerned about this this safety because they drive everywhere usually and they skip over parts yeah probably but statistically you have to understand and obviously we have to draw a distinction between different types of crime and different things. But statistically, the US urban areas are statistically very dangerous when compared to their European counterparts. If you look at the amount of serious violent crime, just take murder or whatever,

the amount of murders in the United States compared to the UK, the UK, even per capita, is astronomical. So the statistics alone, yes, it's much, much more dangerous. But I don't know enough about it to know how much it is focused and centralised on different areas and stuff.

And I don't know Philadelphia City at all, so I couldn't tell you. But I think you've got to have your wits about you for sure. I mean, I don't think, for example, like wandering around midtown Manhattan is going to be any more dangerous than wandering around an equivalent area in London. But actually, in actual fact though, having said that,

I was reading only yesterday that violent crime in London has actually decreased far, far more than people expect. And actually, you're in a position now in London when it's like basically every type of what they call antisocial crime, you are far less likely to suffer from it in London than you are anywhere else in the UK now, which is quite a weird thing. So I think London is actually quite a safe city. Oh, but Luke, I've seen a man with an angle grinder stealing a scooter on a video that's shared by a weird

Twitter account. The reason that conversation came about is because the Tories did that attack on Sadiq Khan, which they did that to Paul, didn't they? Because they were using scenes from Penn Station in New York as saying it was London.

Why are they such idiots? Why are they just such dickheads? They had to pull it or they would have got a massive fine, I would have thought. Yeah.

And so then off the back of that, all these statistics came out to be absolutely, and obviously this just could completely backfire for them, but also to be completely even-handed about it,

I do think that like violent crime in London has been on a downward curve for a long old time now. I think around the start of when Ken Livingstone became mayor, and it continued through Boris Johnson's time. So it's not like a Labour-Tory thing. I think it's just other reasons for it.

All right. Well, all right. You're a Philadelphia stick-up artist, right? I've never been there. All right. Well, you're an American stick-up artist. You've crossed the state line okay

from from where do you usually go to Connecticut Connecticut right you're from Connecticut and you are a sticker artist and you're in Philadelphia

stick me up right I'm walking down the street I'm eating a big Philly cheese steak and I've got my wallet in my hand yeah I wouldn't say anything. I'd just fucking grab you, throw you on the floor.

Oh, good God, mate. Rip and run. Actually, I wouldn't even run. Rip and run, right? I don't see anything in there from you physically that's going to intimidate me. But what if I go,

I'm just a little baby. What if I do that? You'd get another boot in the head. Don't touch my money. I'm a little baby I need to buy Rory Pops they'll feel sorry for me I think I'd probably

get frightened if he started doing that yeah I'd probably give you my stuff freak him out he needs it more than me he needs it more than me Peter let's do a couple

let's round off a couple of emails I want to squeeze a couple in so James has been in touch to hello at lukeofpeter.com thank you for emailing us James he says hi guys

I thought I'd chip in with a strange pub purchase story because we were talking a week or so ago about people selling stuff in pubs. Used to happen all the time. Doesn't happen as much now. James says, when I was younger, we had a pet dog that passed away when I was about 10.

Very sorry to hear that, James. Always traumatic. A couple of weeks later, my dad went down the pub on a Sunday, as was his routine. Later that evening, he returned with a two-year-old German shepherd dog he bought for 50 quid off someone in the booth. The story went that the seller was moving house and downsizing and wouldn't have a garden, so felt it would be better to hand the dog to a stranger in a rough pub in South London. Dog's name was Chen, which is also a bit strange.

Is that how you pronounce it? French for dog, isn't it? Chen, Chen, Chen. Love the show. Keep up the great work, James. I actually think we're chuckling away about that, Peter, but you're a dog owner, and surely you must have some serious takes on this about animal cruelty. Well, is it necessarily cruel to sell a dog?

I don't know. It seems ill-advised, and it's quite a sad story. Imagine giving away your dog because you because you've downsized you know but then some people sort of see their pets as being more functional um um you know things that live in the house but yeah it was a really interesting do you remember when um the first time donald trump was running for president right 2016 and um someone on i can't remember it was now, but someone did a

really interesting deep dive on Twitter, like a thread about Donald Trump's many, many comments about dogs, and like pieced them all together.

Right. And the point was that like... Let me guess, he's anti-dog, I can imagine him being anti-dog. Well yeah,

he kept saying things that made it look like he was always, he's always been really cruel to dogs. He kept saying stuff like off-the-cuff comments during a speech he would go, he's always been really cruel to dogs. He kept saying stuff like, off the cuff comments during a speech, he would go,

and they took him and they kicked him in the face like a dog. He just kept attributing dogs to these really horrible things. Yeah, getting abused. And the end of the thread, I just remember the end of the thread, the person that said,

just so you know, most people in America like treat their dogs pretty well. They actually love their dogs. It's a kind of weird thing to say. I like that a two-year-old German Shepherd, if you are unfamiliar with dog breeds, that's an amusing image. Sorry your dog's gone, but here's a small toddler from Germany.

I get what you're saying. It's a very good joke, Peter. My tractor is broken. I will hack it. A German Shepherd had to be known as an Alsatian for many, many years after the Second World War because no one would take a German Shepherd. No, exactly.

Why would you not call it the Alsace? I think that's such a lovelier name. Yeah, I agree. An Alsace puppy. My great-grandad, who I was fortunate enough to know pretty well until he died when I was about 15, he had this German Shepherd, Alsace puppy. My great-grandad, who I was fortunate enough to know pretty well until he died when I was about 15, he had this German shepherd, Alsatian, called Mickey. And it was...

So he basically lived in the roughest part of the roughest part of Gosport. And Gosport's not very nice. And he was an old fellow, right? So he's in his 80s. And he was in the Second World War, and he was an old fellow right he's in his 80s and um he was in the second world war and he was getting a tough old kind of tough old guy and rather than just don't know move in with his kid because he had about eight kids moving one of them or moving he just got this alsatian dog which was fucking mental and it was it was a psychopathic dog to anyone that wasn't him

so when we turned up my one of my memories of it is that like we would turn up, he would go, yeah, hang on. He'd put the dog out the back and every single time we visited, we'd sit in the living room or whatever as kids, the dog would be jumping, scratching, screaming, barking the whole visit. Right. Right. Okay. And he had attacked

all sorts of different people. Anyway, that's my only kind of association with the German Shepherd, which has coloured my feelings somewhat. But if you have got a dog

that you need to get rid of, please do it. Don't sell it to someone in a pub, crying out loud. That's the way you sell blocks of cheese. Or car batteries.

Or car batteries, yeah. Give it to Pete Donaldson, who's, you can't get enough of him, can's... You can't get enough of them, can you? You can't get enough of them. What's the optimum number of dogs you'd like?

I think one is more than enough. But we do have two. You've got two, haven't you? Yeah, exactly. Is it like my wife's uncle Larry says about cocktails? One's not enough, two's too many

and three's not enough. That's a lovely line. I'm stealing that. I won't. I'll forget it. Yeah, you'll forget it instantly. It's gone already. And finally for now,

Daniel has emailed throwing back to the Candy Floss chat, Peter, of a number of weeks ago. We asked you, didn't we? Myself on behalf of the listening community challenged you

how quickly, Peter, you could get Candy Floss upon leaving your house in Leon C. And you said what? About 15 minutes? Yeah, I reckon so. If that.

Daniel's been in touch saying, guys, didn't think I'd be a participant in the Candy Floss game, considering I live in Prague, which is 811 kilometres from the nearest ocean, but a mere 150 metres from my apartment, they've installed a brand new automated Candy Floss machine. So I guess I'm two minutes away

from a flossy fix from 6am to 11pm. I figured this machine might make Pete a little bit excited. Cheers, lads. Daniel, are you looking at it now? I am, yeah. You did say tumescent, and it has made me that as well. I like the air. You can use chip and pin.

No use to me. I've lost mine. But I like the colours. I think it seems like it's cherry flavoured. I wonder how much it is. Yeah. I like the colours. I think it seems like it's cherry flavoured. Croix de Vata. I wonder how much it is. Yeah. I imagine it's more affordable than most cities.

Prague is relatively cheap. I went to Prague in 2000 and no one at all spoke English and the drinks were about 20p. It was horrifically fun. There were some absolute English idiots um getting into a bit of a squabble with the um people who were looking at the passports on the way out of on the way out of um bulgaria at the weekend and uh and they were just dickheads and the woman was near they were very close to not making their flight because they she was going to drag them

off the bus in the end to the actual plane. I was like, you've nearly got there. Why are you risking it to be a smart arse? Like, why are you risking it at that point? You had all the documents that you needed, you've just been a dickhead, and now that's going to cost you 500 quid. Why are you doing this? And I don't want to lean into kind of stereotypes

around different parts of the world. If I may just very, very briefly holiday in stereotype land for a second. Eastern European men are hard as well. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. The absolute apotheosis of that

was when all those English football hooligans went over to the World Cup in Russia and just got their arses handed by bodies really, really hard blokes. Yeah, I mean, they've all done military service, usually, in most countries. I would say that when I went to Poland that time, we went to like a barcade, which is usually, you know, you can play Super Mario on the PlayStation. You know, all that stuff. You can play like daft little games and stuff.

And it's all very adorable and middle class and hipstery. Every single PlayStation machine had a UFC game on it. That was the only game they were playing. That was the only game they were interested in because they all love UFC. Now, I ain't fucking with any of them. No. You're an idiot.

You've got to be tough to be a security person on the border anyway. Exactly. So why are you doing this to yourself? to be a security person on the border anyway exactly so why are you doing this to yourself no don't do it don't do it smart arses take us out of here mate

oh by the way before you do that though producer Rory has been in touch on the old whatsapp he's emailed us on the whatsapp

saying that the nearest fencing club to your house is Southend Fencing Club it's 2.76 miles away yeah I've had a look well it says there's a top 10 best fencing clubs in Southend on sea there's a.76 miles away. Yeah. I've had a look. Well, it says there's a top 10 best fencing

clubs in South End on the sea. There's a Yelp review for all of these. I mean, lordy. Speak to Johnny Hudson and get yourself down there. All right, then.

We'll be back soon. We'll be back on Thursday. Get your batteries in for Crying Out Loud. We had two last time for Crying Out Loud. Hello at LukePeteShow.com. Get us on Instagram.

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