The Luke and Pete Show - You're Not The Boss Of Me Now

Episode Date: April 5, 2021

On today’s show, Pete tells us all about the homemade steaks and professional haircuts he’s been giving his dogs over the weekend. Meanwhile, Luke shares some very questionable news about a Florida man and his pickle. Strap yourselves in. Elsewhere, we chat all things Easter-related with burnt hot cross buns and bird poo-filled Creme Eggs, before tucking into some amusing emails about medieval memes. Just the usual stuff, really - don’t miss out!Get involved over on our social media at @lukeandpeteshow, or drop us a juicy email - [e-mail]!Oh, and leave us a review over on Apple Podcasts. 5 stars will do. Cheers! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's time once again for the Luke and the Peach show. Welcome one and all Romans, countrymen, countrywomen, country animals, country farmside animals. I'm Pete Donaldson, I'm joined by Mr Luke Moore. You're not the boss of me now, you're not the boss of me now, you're not the boss of me now, you're not the boss of me now. You alright? Yeah. Doing okay? now you're not the boss of me now you're not the boss of me now you're right yeah doing okay it's uh i i got up extra early because i thought it was going to be a real pain in the in us to get into work uh into the office because of the um common or garden rail replacement nonsenses uh it turns out i'd I had free run at my seven train, got into work about half eight

and then the rambling started till like 10 o'clock. And that's the thing about it. People will criticise you, Donaldson, for a number of different reasons and they will not respect the fact that Easter Monday for you,

you respect the mad hippie, the most impactful of all the hippies, our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, but you will also graft and work away when it warrants it and you deserve respect for that. I don't think, and Kate Messon was actually talking about this before the show today, parents don't understand. Parents don't understand.

Parents don't understand what freelancing is. So they think that you get Christmas off and you think you get bank holidays off and you're going to be planning an extravagant Easter weekend because everybody else has a lot of time off. But freelancers, and increasingly everyone, because of the availability of working from home and working from your mobile phone, nobody really gets any time off. I think they just need to move with the times,

the old parents. Yeah. What have they ever done for us? That's what I want to know. I know, right? Yeah. What have you done? Write out your willy,

then I'm here. Write out your willy, then I'm here. I've got... I was running around my garage, the man cave. How big is it? It's making you sound like you're doing laps of it well not big enough clearly because i've jabbed myself in the bottom left hand in the

bottom right calf of my leg i've jabbed myself and uh and it hurts when i when i pork it so i really should stop poking it but since i have had my vaccine jab i am kind of a little worried there might be a blood clot. Oh, no. No, you'll be fine. You'll be okay. That's exactly where the clots are, though. That's exactly where it kind of, like, gathers, in the back of the leg.

Crucially, a calf is on the back of the leg, so you were running backwards around the garage, were you? Yeah, I was trying to avoid the spider. Oh, nice. Nice. And also, Pete, as a business owner, you don't get a chance to have time off because you've always got to be there if people need you. Always got to be available.

Always got to be available and ready. Got my tape measure out. Yeah. That's amazing. You've pulled out a tape measure from off camera and just started playing with it. That's amazing. Why have you got a tape measure?

It makes me nervous. From my face, how wide can you see? You can see three feet yeah three feet wide and it's annoying to me because as a co-business owner in the same business i thought i hid all the tape measures from you so that's disappointing because nothing good happens when your tape measure comes out now start tweeting about how big things are right um yes it's the little peach and we're back again what i I like about this kind of little running order we've sort of put together,

there are sort of new stories that we never get to usually. There are new stories that kind of week to week we get on things that we're interested in, and some of the stories that have been there for months never get mentioned. I don't even want to get into it, but I would like to just sort of everyone, I just want everyone to know that the title

Florida Man Masturbating With Pickle has been on the running order for about two months now. And I wish Nat would take the hint. I wish producer Nat would take the hint because she put it on there because she's a pro and she probably did a load of research and due diligence when she knew she was going to come and start producing this show. And she probably listened through and thought,

they talk about Florida men doing mad things quite a lot lot so i'm going to find one of the stories that story is horrific it is a i mean look approach with caution if you are listening with young children in the car or wherever you are bear in mind what i'm about to say could not is not suitable for children there is a story of a man from florida who was caught in public masturbating while putting a pickle slash gherkin up his bot bot, right? Yeah, on private property as well. Oh, I thought it was public. It was private property, was it?

I thought it was in public. The actual title makes me laugh because it says Florida man arrested for masturbating with pickle on private property. Now, the private property presumably means his bum because he puts the pickle up his bum and he's jerking off. And, like, just an amazing. Yeah.

I'm just wondering whether it's one of those big pickles you buy in, like, bodegas. Chip shops. And restaurants. Yeah. I mean, I presume it's those, because you can buy, like, single ones that have, like, different. You can buy ones that are hot and spicy.

I remember getting all kinds of them. It's not a corner shop. Otherwise, it's not worthy of a store, is it? No, exactly. You're right. I,

my biggest, I mean, we've actually, I mean, Natalie's ultimately won because we've basically, we've talked about it now, but my biggest issue with it is that I am a huge, um,

avoider of pickles slash gherkins as our Colombian colleague at Stack calls them. Uh, Andrea calls them, um, the gringos jalapeno so which i agree with because i blow love a jalapeno give me a pickled jalapeno all day long i'm not touching a pickle or a gherkin why is that is it because they're just too like girthy or or or solid or because jalapenos they're quite soft and kind of um yielding aren't they have you got soft teeth? What's going on?

No, it's nothing to do with that. I think it's just that I don't particularly like cucumbers either. It just tastes of dirty water to me. I mean, listen, there's nothing offensive about a cucumber. I'll eat it. That's what you do with it, isn't it? Yeah. As far as a man can attest to.

Can I just distance myself from what I do do with pickles and cucumbers compared to the man that spawned this discussion? But I don't know. I just never really got into them. I think when I was a kid, I told you before, Pete, my dad got my dad's position got made redundant from his work.

And they had loads of money. And like an uncharacteristically mad move, they took us all to Florida rather than saying, this is a lot of money, we need to keep this until you get another job. They just went to Florida and spent it and I went with them. And I was about 11 and I'd never seen a pickle before. And, of course, over there, they serve them up with burgers.

And I got stuck into one. I don't think I liked it. I think my 11-year-old palate was like, no thanks. And I've never really kind of recovered from that early blow. It's interesting. I've never, I think the only thing that's ever kind of knocked me for six and it's kind of like put me off for life. But even then, not even life.

I used to bloody love dried bananas dried banana chips oh yeah I think they're really calorific you know oh I bet they are yeah

they sort of just went off on one day and just never went back to them and I don't find them offensive like the dogs

have them wrapped in chicken you can buy these little banana chips wrapped in chicken which they seem to very much enjoy. And I've had a nibble of one. And I don't think they're particularly offensive in the slightest.

Though my girlfriend has a few of these. And one of them is, one of my partners is cream eggs. Because her brother told her that there was bird poo in the cream. And she's never been able to eat them. And so I forget, and i always buy like a cream egg and i end up having to eat two cream eggs i think something in my brain goes you're gonna get an extra cream rag out of this yeah it's 100% you're a good guy do it and and when you get to and and that's an interesting story about both the partner and the dogs you have access to there

and for those who are new to this show and want to know a little bit more about um you and i i think i can best sum you up pete by saying that there's absolutely zero chance that the two dogs you've got access to have had any food that you haven't also tried just a little bit of that's the kind of man you are well yeah but also i um i cooked um i cooked buckley a little a little steak over the weekend couple of steaks in fact over the weekend we A couple of steaks, in fact, over the weekend. Bloody hell. Wagyu?

Wagyu? When I cooked Wagyu, I gave him a little bit, yeah. Oh, my God. He's having a lovely time, his bucko. And I gave him a haircut over the weekend. People are losing their jobs out there. You can't talk about giving Wagyu steak to your dog. I thought he's never going to have that good a steak again, is he?

So give him it. But he never knew it existed. He's a dog. He never had to worry about good steak again is he so give him it but he never knew it existed he's a dog he never had to worry about it he probably lost his god damn mind

didn't he he lost his doggy mind I bet he just ate it really quickly the same as he eats every other food and it wasn't even commented on

because he's a dog yeah when I went to Japan with my mate he demanded like American sort of American mustard

to put on his Wagyu steak. I'm like, Jesus Christ, Al, what are you playing at? Is that Little Al? Little Al. The man is so problematic on this kind of stuff. He really is. He's terrible. Peter, on the old cream egg thing, and I understand that because it can affect you psychologically

when you're a kid. So remember I told you before, that was the same holiday when I chomped into what I thought was a grape on the plane over and it was an olive. And I've never been able to eat olives since, right? But one of the things that's kind of fascinating about that, about like the food habits. So you said there, right, you know subconsciously that your partner isn't going to eat the other cream egg and you're going to get it, right? your partner isn't going to eat the other cream egg and you're going to get it, right? Now, at the age of 40, when I go to the supermarket,

if I'm hungry, I will buy a load of stuff that I know I don't need and it is way too much for me to be eating, but I'll still do it. And it's fascinating. I get on to the point of the reason why it's fascinating because if you go into work and you take one journey into work and it's a shitty journey into work you're probably

going to go right I'll think of another journey and you'll learn and you'll adapt as you go but for some reason I still make decisions

around food that I made when I was like 12 do you though I mean surely your palate's gone on since then surely

I like different I like loads more foods than I liked when I was young. I'm much less fussy now. But what I'm saying is, I know, for example, I don't need to eat an entire Yorkie Easter egg, right? I'm not getting anything more out of it, right? If I eat half the Easter egg, that's probably fine. That's probably one of the recommended portion sizes. I'm in front of the telly.

I've got a cup of tea. I love half an Easter egg. But I just keep eating the whole thing i know it's gonna make me feel shitty the next day but i still do it i don't learn and in other aspects of my life i like to think i do learn so i think food's got a really weird hold on a lot of us i haven't quite extended to the point now where i'm going back to the source of this conversation i'm putting different um vegetables in my anus but But I mean, that may come. I don't know. Yeah.

Didn't you sort of, haven't you on your phone got like a timer that's just for oven chips? Yeah. This is the thing, right? So I'm busy a lot at the moment with work and with other stuff. And it comes to, and it's obviously everything's a lot more difficult to do these days for obvious reasons. So sometimes it's not, a lot of time actually, it's not rare for me to look up from my computer and it'd be like 7.30.

It's like, I haven't got anything sorted for dinner. I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm not going to go cook for an hour. And so I just grab oven fries out of the freezer and put them in the oven and obviously then eat them. And the thing you're referring to is one of the most depressing things that's happened to me in recent years when i got a little reminder pop up saying would you like to set a timer for 16 minutes basically saying all you do is set a time for 60 minutes every night to eat oven chips do you want to do it again now

no i don't actually i'm having i'm having chicken and rice tonight thank you very much look at least you uh actually set a timer and you don't just let everything burn trying to cook plumbing um hot cross buns in the in the in the toaster nightmare never try it rubbish yeah well not you mean big big pav you know big pav i talk about a lot i can remember when i used to play fifa with him quite a bit during the first lockdown in the evening so there's nothing else to do um he got this thing on his phone, which his wife made him put on to stop him working late, that at 10 p.m., all his apps just instantly close. So at 10 p.m. every time, everything would just turn off. And then he'd call me back like two minutes later

and go, oh, sorry about that. My phone's turning off. I said, just turn it off. He's like, I can't. My wife won't let me. Anyway, so what else has been going on, Peter? How have you been marking and celebrating Easter, the holiest of all the Christian holidays?

Just had a wander around. Didn't have any eggs myself, but yeah, just had a wander around. Watched the TV show Your Honour. Is it Your Honour? I've heard good things. Yes, all right. It's basically breaking bad again, isn't it? Man with a tidy job and a nice life,

something happens and then he's got to fucking, you know, become a criminal. The whole point of Breaking Bad is that he didn't have a nice life. Well, no, he was having a nice life. No, he hated it. He had a comfortable life. He had a comfortable life. He only found himself hating it

when he found something more interesting and sexy to do. But it's all kind of like dad wish-fulfilling bollocks, isn't it? I think you've missed the entire point of Breaking Bad. So, Peter, don't spoil it. What's your favourite TV show of all time? Because in my mind, you hate every TV show. So what's your favourite? Mad Men.

Okay, fine. So how would you rate, if Mad Men's 10, and I don't know, something you hate is 1, how would you rate Your Honour? It's a 2. It's fine. A 2? It's, how would you rate Your Honour? It's a two. A two? Yeah, it's fine, it's watchable, but it's just

the boy, it's got, what's his name, who goes shit in the way. Oh, Clay Davis, lovely. He's got Clay Davis in it. He never says shit. I mean, I'm on the last two episodes so hopefully he'll at the end go, shit. Well, he tweets it every day,

so you want to get him to say it, you can see it on Twitter. Is he a West Brom fan? I don't know. That's so weird you said that to me. I have no idea. I have no idea. I don't know why you tweeted about West Brom

winning at Stamford Bridge or whatever it was. Weird. But I have no idea, I'm afraid. So you watched Your Honour. I watched Your Honour. I don't like the fact that the kid in it is just incredibly ungrateful when his dad is just trying to do his best

and the kid is just trying to derail his dad's fucking plan at every fucking stage. There's a man from Bodark Empire that I quite like in it. That's all I've got for you, Luke, to be honest. It's unlikely you'll spoil it because your interpretations are so surreal and abstract

this actually adds quite a lot to it do you remember when I had a meltdown at you because you tried to spoil a Game of Thrones I didn't try to, I didn't give you anything but you just got upset because you are what can only be described as a big dragon boy I am, I as a big dragon boy i am i am a big dragon boy

sometimes when game of thrones is on tv just a random episode on sky atlantic because let's be honest we're panning through the nose for that and they're filling the schedule aren't they you basically you basically pay a lot of money for sky atlantic and what you get is maybe a couple of showpiece series that go out at 9 p.m two week. The rest is just Game of Thrones over and over again. And sometimes when there's an episode on, I will watch it. And also, there's an absolutely massive, and I mean four times the budget of Game of Thrones, Amazon Prime Lord of the Rings series coming, isn't there?

Yes, apparently so. I always get confused. Why are they bringing that back? Is Jackson involved? Is he... Because of the words of Alan Partridge, people like them, let's make some more of them. I don't know if Peter Jackson's involved.

I've not looked into it. I know that... This is a bit of a link for you. I know that Joel Emery, who's one of the geniuses behind the offensive and an upcoming new stack series

sometime soon is a huge Lord of the Rings fan and he was telling me about it and that's how I know about it I see

a little bit exciting one at Witcher 2 just finished not watched a single lick of it but oh is Witcher 2 out now is it Witcher 2 it's not out yet no it. Oh, is Witcher 2 out now, is it?

Witcher 2... It's not out yet, are you? No, it's not out yet. They've just wrapped. So I just saw Mr. Handsome Superman sort of saying, I'm finished. Finished now. I mean, he looks...

I mean, I've seen the first season of The Witcher. I enjoyed it. He looks fucking obscene. He's just the most obscene-looking man. He looks like he's hewn out of granite. Like he was quarried, not born. And he's just so handsome. It's unbelievable.

Very good-looking man. It's too good-looking. You know I've got a working theory that if some people are too good-looking, male or female, in TV shows, it takes you out of it. Yeah, I would say that. And in real life, you can't have a meeting with them

because you can't look directly at them. Well, we can't can't get near them can we no no they don't want to but you wouldn't have like i mean for example i don't know this has happened but if uh what's his name the geezer who plays um the witcher um uh cavill henry cavill henry cavill you're ever asking me i for a name of a man good god but if he played a role where he was like a postman it would be

ridiculous he has to play mythical beings basically he has to play mythical beings he's just too handsome well somebody made the point

there's a woman on twitter it's Sydney Battle I want to say maybe she's fucking funny she famously

her sort of viral hit was that she um she was she was off her head on some kind of drugs because she'd had a an elbow operation and she was um and she was she made her dad film her while she just reviewed the ditches of a town and she would just go this is my favorite ditch. And she was talking about this ditch for ages. She was so wazzed out of it. It was so funny. And she was saying that everyone in Los Angeles who is beautiful and really good looking

is like entertainment adjacent. They either work in film or they normally work in film. But in New York, you can get really good looking UPS drivers. I see what you mean. I see what you mean. Do you know what I mean? I think the standard of attractiveness in the US is a lot higher. It's a lot higher. Oh, yeah.

And you can see that, by the way, that in TV shows and movies, they will just put a pair of glasses on an amazingly attractive person and the plot will be they're not very good-looking. It's like, this is ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous. And as soon as they take, in the final act of the movie when they take their glasses off

and they look amazing, you're supposed to believe that they weren't amazing in the first place because I guess they're such perfectionists. It's a well-worn trope. It is.

Let's have a break and when we come back we'll do some emails and I might just ask you quickly about your opinion on April Fool's Day because I've got one of my own. But anyway, stick around. Come back to us in a minute.

We'll just do these quick ads and then we'll be back. counting down to the Oscars with a special month of Best Picture clashes. Rocky won the Oscar that year. Do you guys think it was a deserving winner that year or do you think something else should have won? I think Taxi Driver should have won.

I am with you, Vicky. My heart says Rocky. Rocky's one of my favourite films of all time. I don't like watching Taxi Driver, but it is. No. It is.

It's true. It is amazing. That's so true. No one's ever like, oh, do you want a Bosch taxi? Do you want a Ferrari? Or if that doesn't tickle your fancy, and why wouldn't it,

check out the book club on Football Ramble Presents, where former footballer Ricky Hill discusses the highs and lows of his story career. My schoolmaster came in afterwards and said, oh, you know, you've been invited, three of you have been invited for trials up at Luton. Oh, what a feeling. My thoughts were,

where is Luton? I had no idea. And I said, well, I'm not going. All that and a whole lot more at Sukarnov. Welcome back to the

Luke and Pete show. I'm Pete Donaldson, joined by Luke Moore. And as we held towards the end of the Monday show, we've got some elements to go through, but also Luke wants to talk about April Fool's, I hear. Yeah, I don't think there's ever been a good April Fool's trick. No, I remember one on Going Live. Phil had this little box, this tiny little box about the size of, I guess, an SD card these days. It's a tiny little box about the size of, I guess, an SD card these days.

Would have been 90s. Would have been 90s. And he said that when you had like a one to five on the front of the box, when you pressed number five, it would play with a little speaker inside. Whatever was at number five in the charts that week, and then number four, and then the top of the hit parade, as they used to call it five in the charts that week and then number four, you know, and then the one at the top of the hit parade, as they used to call it back in the day,

when they pressed number one. And he basically invented the iPod. I stand corrected. That's incredible and it happened. Yeah. Phil Schofield. I remember thinking, that is amazing. And they would make you ring up to try and win it. And I rang up to see if I could win it.

And I don't think they disavowed me of the notion that it existed. So they got my money that day, going live. Phil Schofield should sue the estate of Steve Jobs. He should, yeah, because he invented it in the 90s. What would you do, Pete, if you found out later that actually Steve Jobs worked as a researcher on Going Live, and that's when he had his first idea? He had his idea. Well, look, it wouldn't surprise me, because, you know, Pip Schofield,

he knows what he's doing when it comes to light entertainment. Oh, big time. The man, listen, you can do nothing but respect the longevity of the man's record. Oh, it's incredible. He, uh, one of my, I, he had, like, was it Snapchat or Instagram stories? He would just, he'd just get pissed and just start dicking about in his house. And I've spoken about it before, but, I, he had like, was it Snapchat or Instagram stories? He, he would just,

he'd just get pissed and just start dicking about in his house. And I spoke about it before, but like the, him in his loft, trying to figure, there was, there was an alarm going off,

like a little beep, beep, beep, like a little battery alarm. And he couldn't sort of figure out what alarm was going off in his massive country pile. Yeah.

And so he just went upstairs, pissed, with a hammer, filming all the way, just smashing up little boxes on the wall of his barn. So he just went upstairs pissed with a hammer filming all the way, just smashing up little boxes on the wall of his barn. And he's just hitting these machines until they stop squeaking. Nobody knows.

He didn't know what it was for. It could have been like a like an alarm for some kind of radon gas or something. But he was bashing it with a hammer and pissed. I think because people have so little understanding of it and because you don't really think about it much, and why would you?

Because most people are normal. You don't fully appreciate how difficult it is to be that good on TV for that long. And to do it for 30 years is incredible. Longer, longer probably. And also the one thing that I always get impressed with with people like him is that

getting on the TV and doing your bit while the camera's on you and everyone's running around is hard enough as it is you and I have both had a very small flavour of that and it is hard, but to make it look so natural, to make it look like you're actually having a conversation with someone who's come round to your living room

and have a cup of tea, which is what they do, the top-level pros, is astonishingly hard. And I think it's just made to look really easy, so people just don't think much of it, but it's not. It's almost a bit like snooker.

You watch snooker on TV, and you go, yeah, they're good. And you go and see an actual full-size snooker table, and you are like, fuck me, this is the size of my flat. And it automatically seems much harder. But anyway, shout out to Phil Schofield. Absolute legend in the game. Let's do some emails.

Hello at LukeandPeteShow.com. That's hello at LukeandPeteShow.com is the email address. We are also on Instagram and Twitter at LukeandPeteShow. If you want to send an email in about anything you've heard on the show recently or any ideas you've had or anything you'd quite like us to talk about in the near or far future, please do so. And someone who's done that is our friend Catherine.

Catherine has enclosed a photo of this as well, which immediately caught my eye. And she says the following, Hi, Luke and Pete, Catherine here from Massachusetts. And I was just writing in because I was recently at my local grocery store and saw the picture attached below. Sunny D, formerly known as Sunny Delight,

in three different flavours that not only no one asked for, but to my knowledge that no one drinks anymore. I've honestly not seen Sunny D in any other store since I was in elementary school, and I'm 25 now, so that was a while ago. I was walking past the bread aisle, and I saw this massive display. I had to backtrack to make sure the year 2021 was correct,

and I haven't time-travelled back to 2003. I immediately captured the display to send in to you guys. Do either of you know another single human being who still buys or drinks sunny d how is this brand still in business after all these years mind you they only cost a dollar so perhaps that's got something to do with it um anyway let me know thank you for the for the great laughs every week my mum and i both love this podcast keep up the good work katherine now that final sentence is key because katherine says my mum and i love the show which is really sweet right and stopped me and made me rewrite my notes around this email where i was going to call

katherine a mass hole which is what people call other people call people from massachusetts a mass hole so katherine i was gonna call you a mass hole. So, Catherine, I was going to call you a mass hole, but because you very sweetly listened with your mother, I'm not going to do that. You're a mam hole instead. I like the fact that there's so many different flavours of Sunny D. There's a green one that looks very unappetising, and a red one that looks like blood, and the orange classic.

I could probably drink that. I could probably see myself slurping down a bit of the orange classic, but that is... The other two look incredible. Do you know what it looks like, Pete? It looks like a display you would see beautifully rendered in a futuristic dystopian video game for the PS5. Mass Effect. Mass Effect 5. Yeah, it does look like that.

So thank you very much, Catherine, for sending that in, though. Much appreciated. Peter, have you got an email there for us? Delicious. Yes, I have. an email there for us? Delicious. Yes, I have. I want to talk about medieval memes. There's been a couple of emails from pilots. What?

We'll get to those later on. A medieval meme has entered the frame. Hello to the Luke and the Pete. This is from Jay, long-time listener, first-time emailer, and all that nonsense. And that's what we like to hear, new people, and old people, too. Yes, you're welcome. I was sitting in my Zoom lecture looking through an article

when I came across the story that set off the Luke and Pete alarm in my head. It is a story about a recent discovery of a medieval meme. The meme here is a piece of metal depicting a man stepping out of a snail shell that is resting atop a goat. Wow. Quite the image. Little snail on top of a goat. Little medieval man coming out of it.

According to the article, something to do with making fun of non-chivalrous acts of knights at the time. I hope that you lads find this interesting or at least get a chuckle out of you as well. Apparently there was a big knight clambering out of a snail shell atop a goat meme sensation back in the day.

It looks like a little brooch, doesn't it? Yeah, I don't know. One thing I am impressed by, because I've clicked on the article that Jay shared alongside, and it says the piece is dated from about 1200 AD. And it's a knight wearing a helmet with a long-sleeved tunic, and he's got one leg lunging forward, suggesting he's stepping out of the shell

and his hands are pressed together as if in prayer. Now, what I'm most impressed by is the way they're able to interpret it. Because to me, that could be anything. That, to me, looks like a bloke sat on a goat with a shell-like seat and he's riding it somewhere. Oh, it's like a really ornate kind of chariot seat. It could be anything

in my opinion. Yeah it needs a little bit more. It's a sort of meme that I would create. Get no hits on Twitter at all and then I'll just be just blaming Twitter for being shit full of assholes that want some Route 1 stuff. Oh there was definitely

a kind of undercurrent peak to your work where it's too clever for the mass public. It's not too clever. It's just too obscure. Too niche. Too weird. Yeah, too, I've been on forums for too long. It would work possibly in a forum

where there's only five people on there and they all get the joke. But on Twitter, there's just no, and I'm just like, what's the point of this place oh i mean you are a man pete who has been regularly conducting completely unasked for on a completely voluntary basis meme dumps in groups that i'm a part of for probably 10 years plus yeah but you very rarely hit pay dirt with your own memes. Oh, yeah, I'm a great meme counsellor.

I'm a great meme-atist, but I can't create any of my own. You could have been big on Vine, I reckon. It's difficult. It's difficult, isn't it? It's very, very difficult. I always say that if I was ever going to make an NFT, non-fungible or fungible token piece of art, it would very much be the time that I stage myself falling off a chair at Absolute Radio,

which is literally the best thing I've ever done. But the thing about you, I mean, we should share this as well, so people who haven't seen it can have a look. The thing I like about that little vine you did, but there's nothing to stop you transposing your great vine work across the Instagram reels, by the way, for instance.

Right, okay. So you can have a think about that. The best thing about that piece of work you're talking about there is it genuinely looked real. Yeah. So I came to work and I noticed that the arm on my chair was broken so that if you put any pressure on it, it would kind of give way and fall. And so I got Dan Benedictus, I believe it was Dan Benedictus from downstairs,

and the officer said, Dan, could you come up and film me falling off this chair? And so I sort of did. With a name like that, he deserves a lot better as well, by the way. He's a magnificent man, is Dan. And I leaned on the side that was going to break, and I fucking stacked it. And it is the best video I've ever made,

the best bit of work ever. I've been in radio, I was in radio for like 13, 15, sorry, 15 years, and I've been doing podcasts for that same amount of time, et cetera, et cetera, and I just sort of look at that, and I sort of go, that is the best thing I will ever do. That will be played at my funeral,

if indeed I get one, if I've not done something dreadful. Why would you not get one? That's just so depressing. What if I'd done something terrible? You still get a funeral. I'm not saying it'll be well attended, but you still get one. People are just going to leave you lying on the slab and go, he's a terrible bloke, we're just leaving him here. That's a problem for them. You're making it worse.

No-one's going to bother with it. Yeah, but if you're a terrible person, no-one's going to turn on the PowerPoint camera, are they? The a terrible person, no one's going to turn it with a PowerPoint camera, are they? It's a PowerPoint projector. No, but what I'm saying is, you just said, at my funeral, if I get one, if anything, they're going to bury you quicker. They might be buried at sea like Osama bin Laden.

They won't tell anyone where I've gone. Didn't we talk about this last week? I said I wanted to be hit in a Viking ship, and you said you wanted something horrific. I can't remember what it was. Yeah. Anyway, listen, that's about enough time for this Easter Monday show. I think we should wrap it up there, but we will be back on Thursday

with more of your battery brands, more of your emails, more nonsense. I'm sure we can come up with something to talk about, Pete. We normally can. Won't be anything to do with a Florida man masturbating with a gringo's jalapeno. So that's all good.

But do stick around for Thursday's episode. It'll be out first thing Thursday. Do leave us a review as well, wherever you get your pods. It does help us a great deal. And do keep your correspondence coming in. Hello at LukeandPeteShow.com is the email. At LukeandPete show is the instagram and the

twitter thank you very much indeed for listening thanks to everyone who emailed in much appreciated enjoy your sunny day and we'll see you on thursday this was a stakhanov production and part of the acast creative network