The Magnus Archives - MAG 162 - A Cosy Cabin

Episode Date: April 9, 2020

Case ########-2Further statements of a personal nature.Thanks to this week's Patrons: Jennifer Southerland, Travis Boillat, Ali Cillov, Berlin Kofoed, Agnieszka Bogdan, Curtis Y Takahashi, Emily James, Alix Bernier, Nanna, ealyblu, Evelyn Scidmore, Ori Griffin, Melissa Koetzle, Izzy Edmonds, Laiska, Alex, Grey G, benja✌✨, Erin Graham, Rebecca McVeigh, Rachel Attaway, Itzel Anayeli M., Emma Briannon, Annika Ekholm, Faine Greenwood, Jake The Fake Jake, Caitlin Martin, Avery Winther, Jamie Frew, Ebony Biar, Misha, Torsanist, Percival Shaw, Jack, Lee McNally, Jennifer, Elliot H T, David D Martin, Gayest-Bee, Elizabeth CorettoIf you would like to join them, be sure to visit www.patreon.com/rustyquillEdited this week by Annie Fitch, Elizabeth Moffatt, Brock Winstead & Alexander J Newall.Written by Jonathan Sims and directed by Alexander J Newall.Produced by Lowri Ann DaviesContent warnings:- Isolation- Quarantine- Post ApocalypsePerformances:- "Gerard Keay" - Jon Gracey- "Gertrude Robinson" - Sue Sims- "Sasha James" - Lottie Broomhall- "Tim Stoker" - Mike LeBeau- "The Archivist" - Jonathan Sims- "Martin Blackwood" - Alexander J. NewallSound effects this week by kyles, Ranne_Madsen, offthesky, Ryding, dynamique, filmfan87, AlyssaB2043, IESP, paulmessier, freeborn, Nicolas_Escobar_Espinosa, VithorMoraes, ALLANZ10D, Gammelsmurfen778, JakLocke, j1987, akennedybrewer, theshuggie, youandbiscuitme, khenshom & previously credited artists via freesound.org.Check out our merchandise at https://www.redbubble.com/people/rustyquill/collections/708982-the-magnus-archives-s1You can subscribe to this podcast using your podcast software of choice, or by visiting www.rustyquill.com/subscribePlease rate and review on your software of choice, it really helps us to spread the podcast to new listeners, so share the fear.Join our community:WEBSITE: rustyquill.comFACEBOOK: facebook.com/therustyquillTWITTER: @therustyquillREDDIT: reddit.com/r/RustyQuillEMAIL: [e-mail] Magnus Archives is a podcast distributed by Rusty Quill Ltd. and licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial Sharealike 4.0 International Licence Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This is the first radio ad you can smell. The new Cinnabon pull-apart only at Wendy's. It's ooey, gooey, and just five bucks for the small coffee all day long. Taxes extra at participating Wendy's until May 5th. Terms and conditions apply. Hi everyone, it's Kareem, the voice of Simon Fairchild from the Magnus Archives, or the eternal tavern keeper in Chapter and Multiverse. Today, I'm here to tell you about Malevolent, a podcast launched on the RQ Network. Malevolent is a weekly horror fiction podcast filled with dark, noir, eldritch horror. Arkham private investigator Arthur Lester wakes up with no memory of who he is or what has happened, only a nameless, eerie voice

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A Cozy Cabin I'm sorry. Find anything interesting back there? Yeah, sorry, I was just... Curiosity is a very dangerous trait in our line of work, Gerard. So is ignorance. Well, you're not going to find many dark secrets in the stationary cupboard. Just the recorded confession of your evil plans, then. Might be something of a fool to leave that one in the recorder. I've never really seen you use it.

Generally only for those statements I think might be useful to my successor. Or the occasional interview. So do I get to hear them? Perhaps. If you live long enough. But somehow I doubt Elias would look favourably on your application. And if I'm being quite honest... Yeah, I know, I know. enough but somehow I doubt Elias would look favourably on your application and

if I'm being quite honest... Yeah I know I know and I don't want your job. Believe me perks aren't worth the shackles. Yeah yeah. So what's the verdict? Hmm? On the travels. Oh burn it I think. You said Mr Hampton was dead. Yep and not peacefully.

But you haven't seen its powers. Not directly. Well, given the themes of the original, I doubt it has anything that would be worth the danger. And when in doubt... Well, quite. Can I use your waste paper bin? Yes, it's just...

Wait. Surely you didn't bring it here. Well, yeah, I... Gerard, we've talked about this. Bringing unvetted artefacts or books into the archive is incredibly dangerous. It's locked away. And I'm sure the lock is very sturdy. But that doesn't stop it being an unnecessary risk.

Yeah, I'm sorry. This is exactly the sort of thing that will get you killed. I said I was sorry. Then we'll say no more about it. I don't enjoy being hard on you, but I really would rather you stayed broadly intact. I'm touched. You're going soft in your old age.

You are occasionally useful, despite your foolishness. Flatterer. You can probably burn it in the back courtyard if you're careful. Yeah, will do. And for goodness sake, make sure no one sees you. The last thing we need is a letter

to Elias about book burnings. Look, if you have somewhere better to burn these books... Of course, Gerard. I just happened not to mention the network of sinister tunnels that snake beneath the archive, where I keep all my darkest secrets. I mean, you joke, but there could be... it's that kind of place.

I rather hope I would have found them by now. I like to think I'm not a complete incompetent. Until dementia hits. Given my choice to confide in you, I rather suspect it already has. Go burn your book. Gertrude hmm what happens if we fail

in what sense if we miss a ritual you know if one of them works been losing sleep have you something like that if we are lucky then that failure will also mean our deaths.

You don't think they can reach us after death? I suppose that depends on your religious beliefs. Personally, I suspect death puts us beyond their power, either because we find ourselves in some kind of afterlife, or because we simply cease to be. Yeah, I guess. And I am certain that either scenario is preferable to lingering in a world

they control. They are already able to circumvent physics and suspend natural laws. If one were to genuinely press through, I suspect they would rewrite them wholesale, most likely making them

utterly incomprehensible to any survivors. They might still need us human enough to be afraid, but beyond that, let's just surmise that petty rules like space or time would be unlikely to factor into the proceedings. unlikely to factor into the proceedings. They might even stop death entirely, deny us the one last escape, keeping us alive and afraid forever.

And taxes? Taxes, I imagine, will continue. Beyond that, I honestly don't know. I suppose it depends on which one comes through. The world of the stranger would be very

different to that of the corruption. And if it does happen... It's my fondest ambition to make sure it does not. Yeah, sure, but suppose it does. Very well. Could it be undone? No, I don't think so. Once

an entity fully manifested, I doubt it would be keen to relinquish its grip on reality. No, I don't think so. Once an... No, I don't think so. I don't think so. Once an entity fully manifested,

I doubt it would be keen to relinquish its grip on reality. And as for those unlucky enough to survive its rule, I don't think they would be in a state to do anything about it. Well, then I guess we'd better not let it happen. Well, quite. Now, I believe you have an evil book to burn? Yeah, of course. You, er, need anything else burning? No, no, not right now. I think I'm all right. Thank you for the offer. Right. Oh, and, Gerard.

Hmm? Don't go rifling through my things in future. It could end badly for you. This it? Oh, thank God. I thought I was seeing things. Glad I could help. I didn't know he was actually going to ask me to get it for him. I just mentioned it because he was talking about recording. Well, I'm sure he's waiting.

He can wait a bit longer. Fantastic. Good of you to volunteer to help me. I didn't actually... Grab a stapler. Fine. What are we doing? John's been getting frustrated with all the loose statement sheets around. I'm going box by box, collating and stapling

them. And now, so are you. If you say so. I do. So how are you finding our new leader? All right I suppose. Early days yet. Sure sure. Do you think he knows what he's doing? He'll get there. I just wish he didn't take it out on Martin in the meantime. If only there had been someone more qualified.

Tim. Sasha. It's Elias' decision. Some sexist bullshit is what it is. I mean, probably. Look, it should have been you. And you just know, if you had called him out, the little weasel would start talking about traditions and the values of our esteemed founder, Jimmy Magna.

Joni Magnum? Close, sir. Jack Magnet. That's the one. I'm serious, though. You should say something. Tim, I've been in academia for, what, ten years now? I know how this goes. I didn't get the job.

If I kick up a stink, I'll just get blackballed. Yeah. What if we kill him? What, Elias? No. Big boss Sims. Cut the brakes on his office chair. No one would ever know. Swap in a poison tea bag. Pin it on Martin, the perfect crime.

And how do you know that you won't be the one that gets it? That boy makes a lot of tea. Oh it's okay, I spent the last few years building up an immunity to Iocane powder. So what are you gonna do? I don't know really, Might just get another job. What, seriously? Just jump ship? Yeah, I guess so. I mean, there's not much out there at the moment, but I've got a few alerts set up.

I can't believe you've just abandoned our intense will-they-won't-they storyline like that. I'm pretty sure we established it's very much won't-they. No, no, no, no. See, we had the ill-advised hook-up, the awkward aftermath, and the gradually rebuilt friendship, but that's all season two stuff. We've got like five more

seasons before we get the heartwarming epilogue that makes it canon. I know it's hard to hear, mate, but you're not the loving chest. I think you might be the character they drop after the pilot. Wow. You are vicious today. Sorry, Tim. I can't hear you over all this stapling.

I guess it's just... I just don't have anything keeping me here. You've got your brother. Yeah. Sorry. And Martin can't go anywhere that'll look too hard at his CV. Wait. How do you know about that? It's all on the system.

Our digital security is shocking, by the way. Besides, it's not even a good lie. Okay, but seriously, you cannot let Martin know. He'll think I told you and I swore to keep shtum. Hey, don't worry. I just, I mean, I kind of just ended up here. And I like it, liked it, but if I'm bashing my head against the glass ceiling, it's time to go. Well, I'll miss you.

Yeah, you will. Oh, for God's sake. Oh, Tim's so hard to talk to, seriously, he won't stop making jokes and references. Not like Sasha, they've got no idea. And they never will. Seriously though, everyone thinks you're just this reliable down-to-earth nerd. And what makes you think they're wrong? So what, actually I'm the one who doesn't get to see the real you? No such thing. As what? A real you. I don't think so at least. It's all just masks. All right Stanislavski. You know what I mean.

You really believe that? Kind of. I mean, who knows why we do what we do? I do. No. All you know is what your brain does to justify what you do. It's no more reason than the face you put on for John. The only real you is the actions you take. Hey, I'll have you know I have a rich inner life. How nice for you.

But hurry up with your outer one. You're falling behind and I'm not saving you any staples. Yeah, yeah. I still can't believe Gertrude was allowed to let this place get into such a state. Hmm, I just want to know why. What do you mean why? You saw her. She's like a hundred years old and more cardigan than woman. She just started to lose it. Sad, but it happens. You never talked to her, did you? Well, I mean, I must have at some point. You'd remember.

Why? What was she like? Stone cold bitch. Sasha! And sharper than you. No way this is accidental. Oh yeah, this is all a big geriatric conspiracy. Wait, seriously? Mm-hmm.

What possible reason could she have for being criminally incompetent in a manky old archive? No idea. And honestly, it kind of worries me. Well, tell you what. If you get eaten alive by improperly filed statements, me and Martin will avenge you. Well, aren't you sweet. I mean it. We'll burn this place to the ground. It'll be all like, Sasha! Sasha! And what about John?

Well, given the incoherence of this statement, I find it hard to believe it ever occurred. In fact, based on the evidence, I find it highly unlikely that Sasha ever even existed at all. No, you took it too far. I'm unforgettable. Alright. He fires you because of all the drugs and the wild orgies on archive property. Yeah, that's fair. Now, get back to work. Yes, ma'am. See?, where you trap yourself and claim that it is safety. It was once a cabin and professes still to be such,

but as with all in this new world that promises respite, it is a trap. The land outside is warped and twisted by the touch of those things that feed on your suffering, and behind those rough wooden planks it seems they cannot reach you. The screams may linger on the distant breeze, and your eye may wander beyond the curtains from time to time, but you and the one you love are, it seems, safe. If you had need to eat, no doubt there would be food. If you had need

to sleep, no doubt the beds would be welcoming. But you have need of neither, and so you sit in your meagre comfort and belief of security with nothing to do, nothing to distract your mind from the agonies that lie just beyond your window. And those diversions you do find will offer no relief, but simply numb the mind into mournful nostalgia for a time when the world you inhabited seemed to make sense. Something moves outside, struggling to crawl upon a hundred reaching, grasping hands. It shudders and grips the earth, pulling itself along as nails rip free and skin scrapes loose.

It is afraid of what it has become and where it might be going. Close your eyes. Ignore the sounds. You, at least, are safe. There within the thing that pretends to be a cabin is the one you love. You hold each other, whisper words of reassurance, but the place knows this comfort to be a lie, and laces upon it instead the awful fear of losing what you have, of it being stripped away by the chaos that waits for you beyond the walls. Hold each other, it croons. Be happy. Hold each other, it croons. Be happy. But know always that this happiness is a lie, built on the squirming bones of those whose suffering you have cause. It will not let you feel the warmth of joy that this love may claim to gift.

It is only a mouldy treasure to be clung to, something to fear the loss of as you hold it so tight that it withers and warps. It is a rotten sanctuary of lonely companionship. Outside it is raining. Heavy drops fall, ice-cold and laced with salt, tears of voyeuristic delight from the eyes that see and drink in all. It sinks into the dry, cracked ground, and from the mud faces struggle to push themselves free and breathe. They cannot reach the surface as the slick soil flows down their throats. Look closer at the rough planks that make this cabin and see that they are warmer, softer and more yielding than the hard timber they present. Are the dimensions of this place quite what they were when you stayed here before the change? Or are the walls thicker, the doors heavier when they close?

Were the curtains always stained that dull maroon? Or has the dust of the horrific world they keep at bay dyed them so? The one you love is always near, so close that refuge sometimes feels a prison. And yet your voice does not echo when you call to them. And they find they sometimes cannot hear it. Stay, the cabin says. Stay within my false defences. Cling so close to what you desperately wish to save, and live in shaking fear of the things beyond that may take it from you. Throw another log on the fire and curl up close.

There are always more logs for the fire here. This is your home, and here you can be safe as you putrefy body and soul. This place wishes to be our tomb, but the eye does not wish that. No. The eye wishes instead that it be my chrysalis.

It is time that I emerge. John, is it... I thought I heard... Are you okay? I... Yes, I... I think so. What happened? The tapes? Were you... I was listening and it...

It was the one with Tim and Sasha, where they're... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look, John, I... I know it hurts, but you've just got to... No, no, okay. I was listening and I was filled with this hatred, this anger. I wanted to leave and hunt down Elias.

Wow, okay. But when I thought it, there was something else. This place, it didn't want me, it didn't want us to go. What do you mean? This cabin. It's not right. And when I thought that, I felt... It all poured out of me, down into the tape.

And it felt good. It felt right. Okay. So you're recording again? I might need to, if we're going to make it. Back to the archives? It felt right. Okay. So you're recording again? I might need to, if we're going to make it. Back to the archives? Seems the best place to start.

Yeah, all right. Martin, it's going to be a hard journey. One in which we... Yeah, yeah, yeah, so I've actually had a couple of bags packed for a while now. I found some rope in the attic and I packed that with the maps. Martin. No, no, I know what you're going to say. What good are maps when the very earth is... Yes.

But I've packed them anyway because you never know. Martin. I actually found a stash of tea under the kitchen sink. I realise we don't need to eat or whatever, but, you know, that doesn't mean... Yes, yes, yes. All right. All right. We've got this.

Apparently so. Do you think it'll do anything? Confronting Elias? I... Maybe. No, I'm serious. Do we... Is there a chance that we can undo this?

Gertrude didn't think so. Right. But she's dead. Let's find out for ourselves. You're taking the recorder? Just in case I need to vent again. It helps. Okay. You said this place, the cabin, it's feeding on us, right? Yes. So should we destroy it before we go? I honestly don't know if we can. Besides, there's far worse out there.

Better to try and avoid it, I think. We're not even going to try? We've got your lighter, maybe we can just... We can't fight the world, Martin. So has you. Let's go. Tribution, non-commercial, share alike, 4.0 international license. Today's episode was written by Jonathan Sims, produced by Laurie-Anne Davis, and directed by Alexander J. Newell. It featured John Gracie as Jerry Key, Sue Sims as Gertrude Robinson, Lottie Broomhall as Sasha James, Mike LeBeau as Tim Stoker, Jonathan Sims as The Archivist, and Alexander J. Newell as Martin Blackwood To subscribe, buy merchandise or join our Patreon

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