The Magnus Archives - MAG Mothership Game - Part 2

Episode Date: July 15, 2021

We re-join our space explorers as they assess the damage to their ship and begin their futile attempt to survive the horrors GM Ben throws at them.Content warningsInjuryParanoia & conspiracy thinkingHuman remainsRot & mouldTentacles & aliensDiscussions of: death, medicationMentions of: fire & explosionsSFX: continuous high-pitched beeping & alarms, fire, electricity, thudding & bangingFor more information on the game played, check out Mothershiphere: https://www.mothershiprpg.com/Edited this week by Nico Vettese, Annie Fitch and Catherine RinellaProduced by Lowri Ann DaviesSound effects this week by snappeastudios, alexo400, pointparkcinema, simple machines, InspectorJ, iainmccurdy, jameswrowles, BennettFilmTeacher, dkaufman, SilverIllusionist, UOregonCinemaStudies, Nox_Sound, deleted_user_7709760, mickyman5000, jorickhoofd, Sheyvan, sonidotv, Julien Nicolas, aerror, SpeedY, eruk, chemicalcrux, Gingie, TiesWijnenAirborne80, whisperbandnumber1, bennychico11, bumpelsnake, davidou, Rodzuz & previously credited artists via freesound.orgCheck out our merchandise available at https://www.redbubble.com/people/RustyQuill/shop and https://www.teepublic.com/stores/rusty-quill.You can subscribe to this podcast using your podcast software of choice, or by visiting www.rustyquill.com/subscribePlease rate and review on your software of choice, it really helps us to spread the podcast to new listeners, so share the fear.Join our community:WEBSITE: rustyquill.comFACEBOOK: facebook.com/therustyquillTWITTER: @therustyquillREDDIT: reddit.com/r/RustyQuillEMAIL: [e-mail] Magnus Archives is a podcast distributed by Rusty Quill Ltd. and licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial Sharealike 4.0 International Licence Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This is the first radio ad you can smell. The new Cinnabon pull-apart only at Wendy's. It's ooey, gooey, and just five bucks for the small coffee all day long. Taxes extra at participating Wendy's until May 5th. Terms and conditions apply. Hello everybody and welcome back to the second episode of the Magnus Archives Mothership RPG Special. Previously on, there was a spaceship munch and these hapless space truckers got munged upon. Stop it. Oh no, we got munged. You're really turning what was a genuinely spooky concept into something I'm struggling. Also very insulting.

Still holding on by my fingertips to taking seriously. I gave you Splork and you took munged. God. Spookily munged. Horrifically munged. The munged from out of your nightmares. God. So, I am Ben.

I realise I didn't introduce myself properly last time, but I play Elias, you're listening to the Magnus Archives, like, come on. Who else is playing here? I'm Jonathan Sims, writer, voice actor, visionary, dream weaver, and I play Jonathan Sims and write Jonathan Sims in popular horrific podcast, The Magnus Archives. And you genuinely are one of the few people I've met who's written more podcasts than you've listened to. To be fair, I've listened to so many podcasts, I've just written so many more. So I do enjoy The Marenghi Horizon,

where he's just below the surface of any sort of british person who likes a certain amount of comedy he will just pop up occasionally who else have we got i'm lydia i just play melanie so there's that i mean i'm also in the russie quill gaming podcast with alex and ben but like let's be honest statistically you don't listen to that also Also, Stella Firma exists. Please listen to it. Come on. Come on.

I'm sorry for both of you, but the audience listening to this, they're just not cool enough to really get Rustical Gaming or Stella Firma. You know? I don't think they could handle it. I think they should go and try and prove me wrong. Johnny's on a negging kick today, everyone. Well, let's go to Alex. which is the favourite of your children? Oh, which is the favourite of my children?

The new ones on the network, because I chose them. Ah, that's true. And also, I can't imagine that you're that keen on RQG anymore, because you've had to run a 200-episode-long campaign. It's fine. I mostly just sit there while the rest of you play. Yeah, I'm Alex, and I am in gaming as well. I played Martin.

You may recognise that voice. And somehow I'm still a good boy because the game has clearly read our souls and made sure that Johnny has the all-seeing eye and that I am a good boy. You haven't done anything bad yet in character, so you are still a good boy. You've been quite helpful.

I mean, I woke up and then everything went wrong. Some things don't need my assistance. That's true. Well, let's get back into the media. So at this time, Alabaster Artichoke. Doctor Alabaster Artichoke. No, don't Doctor Mr. Medic, Mr. Doctor Medic at me again. Come on. I went to science medical school, thank you very much.

Oh, that's a reference to another podcast. So you got a list of rest of gaming to get that joke. You've just checked the chemical composition of the air in the uec hilltop which is the ship that has sort of munged intersected i'm trying to avoid it but yes has intersected grimly with your ship the uec isle of wight and you have found that there is an anomalous something taking up some of the air mix in addition to oxygen, carbon dioxide. And I want to say hydrogen's always around. No, nitrogen's always around there, isn't it? And various other bits and pieces.

Can I just ask a simple clarification? I, when you first described it, thought that the other ship crashed into ours. But it didn't. It emerged from some kind of bubble in time and space. And they are kind of in. Yes. Right. For clarity, yes. from some kind of bubble in time and space and they are kind of in yes right for clarity yes so it's kind of flickered into the same physical space as your ship kind of the fly style right

yes whether yeah there has been some sort of like teleportation is not a thing that you know exists in the setting it's not like oh yeah teleportation they do that all of the time this is very strange but yeah this has happened like things have just appeared inside other things and you're probably all very lucky that you weren't immediately burst i feel that every day it's very strange in a way that we have not currently had time to think about because everything has been on fire absolutely speaking of that so lydia's character 0170701 and Johnny's character Carter Block were just prepping to try and get to the other side of your ship to have a look at your life support systems so let's come back at this kind of preparatory and Alabaster has just gained this information and we can kick

off from something there. Zero is strapping on all of the guns looking at my equipment it is in fact only one gun but also grenades. Oh well. Well it's a big gun let's say. I mean it is the only gun on the ship really. It is the only gun. I have the gun and also my battle dress which

while it does then say it has a heads up display, body cam, short range comms I don't want to put on a battle dress that seems ridiculous. But I do also like the idea that it's actually a dress. It's just actually a dress. Yeah, I hear the word battle dress and I immediately add brackets, floral, close bracket. I'm just thinking that there's some really cool design out there for chain mail. Oh, like an armored kilt style.

Yeah, yeah, that, but I think that is not totally in keeping with the incredibly generic Android was printed out at a factory thing. Fair. Probably not a cool corporate chain mail kilt. Sorry, the phrase cool corporate chain mail really, really delights me. It sounds like the kind of free gift a start-up would give you in place of basic rights but it'd be like hey you get this cool corporate chainmail kilt that we give you that is much better zero has no interesting aesthetics so it does not fulfill the wonderful potential of the phrase

battle dress it is simply bluish gray slabs of protective gear arranged in a practical formation that is so dull it's hard to describe and a gun okay what is carter up to carter's if you're taking the time to get into your battle dress he'll get into his vac suit he knows there's hull breaches mag boots and an oxygen tank He's taken pretty much everything but especially his laser cutter in case we need to cut through stuff. Oh, and a bio scanner, actually, thinking about it, because there's another ship. That makes sense.

Keep a scan out for the old bios. Great, and what is Alabaster? Are you going to stay here? Are you prepping to go with them now that you've got your information? Or what is your plan? I would like to... Is the terminal that I'm at universal information or what is your plan i would like to is the terminal that i'm at universal like i'm able to look at other aspects or are they like departmental so it's like i can only look at you're not going to have full control from here

this is not like the hub terminal where you control the ship but if there's anything specific you're looking for that i can make a judgment on is there a bridge on the other ship that isn't completely imploded the way that ours is actually yeah if you want to give me another intellect roll to try and bring up the diagnostics in the same way that 017 0701 did for your ship yeah i'm just hunting for a basic schematic at their end yeah yeah because if i can see that it's 99 nuclear reactors that's going to tell me a lot so i need to roll under my figure of intellect. I rolled wildly over, but not critical. And you're not trained, so you're just basic.

It looks like the connection has been severed. That's fine. Basically, you're looking at it. You get the diagnostics for life support. And actually, you do get the diagnostics for thrusters because it's right next to it. It seems that this ship's pattern is broadly similar to yours. It's probably not the exact same thing, but its designs are standardised because they can just manufacture these things.

Thrusters are at 100% damage. I mean, it looks like there's no catastrophic failure because otherwise you'd all already be dead because the engines would have exploded. Yeah, yeah. But it looks like the intersection with the cockpit, that's probably what has done for the thrusters. The other stuff, there's just big Xs,

which are not, this is gone. It's just like, I don't know, I can't see, I don't know how to tell you. Yeah, that's fine, in which case then, I'll accompany the others. Cool. With my hazard suit. Fab, so you've got a hazard suit on. Okay. Before we move on, I feel it necessary to tell everyone, I believe

there may have been a multiverse unification non-causal generic event. What's that? I concluded the same. Oh, great. Yes, so as a result, we'll need to have to work around what I'm affectionately calling the MUNGE. The what? A Multiverse Unification Non-Causal Generic Event. Oh, I hate it, and it's so good, and I hate it. I'm not calling it MUNGE, Doctor.

Well, no, we'll call it Multiverse Unification Non-Causal Generic Event, but if we're in a rush, we could use the short parlance, but I think we should all just be very careful because there's extra things in the air. Right. Extra things in the air? Yes. Come on, Zero, let's get this sorted.

I agree. Well, I mean, let's go and die, but, I mean, try and get stuff sorted before we die. Is that a philosophical treatise? No, it's, I mean, we're in space and something really bad's happened. Usually you die. Talk and walk. Please talk and walk. Sorry, sometimes I misunderstand profound communications.

With your talking and walking, the most obvious exit point is the door that would lead back to your ship quarters. Thank God! Well, I mean, it's important to say, given how I've messed with the schematics of the ship, it looks like this is broadly unblocked. From what you can see, it seems like an inference of what the space looks like. It appears that the UEC hilltop was on the same orientation as you, but reversed. If your ship is a straight line with an arrow pointing towards the cockpit, the hilltop is an arrow pointing the other way, but overlaid kind of almost directly.

However, it looks like the hilltop has been rotated by about 30 degrees. So everything is slightly skew-iff. Oh, we're in a tim burton film oh yeah no and everything's like slightly too big and sort of weirdly black and white checkered you know they had a real strange art direction for the uec of hilltop but yeah so you you open up the door and immediately you see like the floor is flat and then on the left hand side at a 30 degree angle so it's kind of awkward to get through and And it's the rest of life support, which has been mashed together with your crew quarters.

It genuinely does look like, you know, in cheap sci-fi, when it's just like a bunch of weird plastic pipes and tarpaulin and stuff? It's that, because you've got your nice crew quarters, and then there's just a bunch of machinery and mechanisms kind of smashed together. Pipes that have been severed by walls are hanging down like it's all a bit of a nightmare weird like weird liquids dripping spilled plants yeah exactly yeah it's like coolant spewing and yes yeah the water like there is soil everywhere because this was the hydroponics area there's no soil because that's how hydroponics

work that's the entire point of them but also well there is no soil but there is what appears to be sort of like a thick black granular substance kind of strewn everywhere it's clumped together there is a reasonable amount of it and spewed around it it's got sort of these sort of fronds which are kind of waving vaguely it looks like this has come from the uec hilltop but it's now completely mashed together with your stuff. I mean, let's say Alabaster checks his bed, just out of interest, and it has been entirely covered in this stuff. So it looks like when it intersected,

just dumped a bunch of it wherever. Using my scalpel so that I'm not touching it with a bare hand, and since I'm wearing a med suit, I'd like to see if I can move some of the stuff and see if it's actively consuming the bed or is just strewn upon it, because those are very different prospects. Of course. You approach your bed, and you say, with your scalpel,

you kind of lightly brush it. Yeah, just to sort of lightly yay it. Yeah, I would like you to make me a fear save, please. Yeah, all right, I can do that. For the audience's benefit, each class has different saves. So Alex is a scientist, and his fear save is 25, because apparently scientists don't like looking at things that are unexplained. Go figure.

I have one job as a scientist in a horror sci-fi, which is worsen the situation whilst claiming I'm making it better. It's very clear. You're a good soft boy wildly over but not critical in which case gain two stress yeah all right actually i have a fun thing for this you see a patch similar to yours bad boy well let's see yes and that patch says so there is a catechist which is the medical staff with the snakes wrapped around it that was for the audience's benefit i know you you repository of random information it will probably know that with fix me first but what you've uncovered is somebody's bicep you can see it's like the same colour. There is somebody under here. Body, body, body, body, got to... Body, body, hello, bodies, help, body, body.

Do you require assistance? Yes, please. Zero will stride over and use the... Is there anything grabbable from the wall? Because I don't want to touch it with my android flesh. It's expensive. Absolutely. With the intersection, there are random bits of sheared metal.

I grab a bit of sheared metal and push the stuff that was covering the body off. Is it alive, the body? Well, yeah, so you kind of scrape, but like delicately scrape. I scrape. Or is it not delicate? I don't know. Not particularly. Just, you know, we're trying to see if this thing's alive.

Sure. So you're just trying to clear the debris off of this individual. And Carter, are you also in or are you like, nope? Carter's kind of ignoring it. Just keeping on going. Cool. Well, then we will get to you in just a second. However, I'm going to ask for another fear check, both from Alabaster and 0170701. Cool. I fail wildly, but not critically. Okay, fine.

This is the key, I think, to making it through this adventure fine, is just to ignore everything. We've answered this in a Q&A before, Johnny, which is who would survive a horror event, and it's I would immediately worsen it, and you will survive by virtue of not engaging. Lyd, how did you do?

I rolled a 60, but my android fear is super high at 85 so i am fine surprisingly you are not creeped out by organic decomposition in a corpse because they're always decomposing exactly and they call me the biohazard. After 0170701 has scraped away, you see the pseudo-decomposed face of whoever this was. They are unrecognisable. You can see a bit of skull. It looks like this stuff is not digesting them. Actually, Alabaster, I'll give you this for free

because, you know, you're a biologist and chemist. Oh, and a botanist. You're good at all of this stuff. This looks like they've been buried and they are decomposing as if they were in the ground. Except there are no maggots or organisms. It looks like this is happening independently of actual macro level organisms. Inorganic soil based decomposition. Yeah, something like that.

Like it might still be bacterial, but it's not worms and maggots and stuff. Understood. Understood. Also gain another two stress because that is real, real grim. be bacterial, but it's not worms and maggots and stuff. Understood, understood. Also, gain another two stress, because that is real, real grim. Leave that, please. Enough 0170701. Come on, hurry up, everything all right back there? No, don't touch.

We have uncovered a body. Oh, no. Don't touch the dirt. It's not listed in my equipment, Ben, but do I have, like, sample-taking stuff, anything like that? Yeah, I think that's completely reasonable. It's not listed in my equipment, Ben, but do I have sample-taking stuff, anything like that? Yeah, I think that's completely reasonable. It's not particularly specialised. I'd like to just carefully take a small and sensible sample

using a small and sensible setup. Yeah. Out of curiosity, who do you think will analyse that sample after the life support systems fail? I'll tell you what. If it turns out that the life supports are going to fail within five minutes, I will walk you through the process. How about that?

That sounds reasonable to me. Should we walk and talk? Don't touch the dirt? Yes, okay. While that has all been going on, Carter, you have reached the back, which is the exit towards the actual warehouse section. The door here looks like it has been smashed and crushed and generally has been melded why i brought my laser cutter great yeah in which case you are yeah if you're happy to just start lasering through the door like it won't open normally yep just gonna get it rolling start cutting through as i do uh i'm like so zero given we're gonna die pretty soon

do you want to tell us what this is all about? I am sure I have no more idea than you do. Well, no, I'm just thinking, because this is government stuff, you know? Like, obviously, government sent us out into space to have whatever this is. The company sent us out for profitable motivations. Mm-hm. No, sure. I'm just... I assume that since... I mean, like, no offence, but I don't blame you. I'm sure they programmed you to be part of whatever this big government thing is that we've been sent to die.

That's what I'm asking, you know? I'm not trying to apportion blame here. I just want to know what's going on. It appears to me that you are using a logical question to cover for a desperate need for emotional support. Am I analysing the situation correctly? Yes, you are. No, I'm not. I'm just saying, this is probably one of them government things, and we're going to die anyway. I am unqualified to give you that kind of reassurance.

Just open the door, Carter. Just open the door, please. Just open the door. It's at this point that you complete your laser cut and the section that you've been cutting out is sucked violently away from you. We're not going to make it to three episodes. We are sucked into the vacuum of space. The rest is an android

whose brain can survive without oxygen for a while monologuing in space yep just floating about the important thing is that i took a sample so that when my body's inevitably recovered it will kill everyone who recovers my body and that is the key takeaway that's the one excellent setting up for a sequel and that's why you matter yeah i want body saves from all of you to try and prevent yourself from being like you know ripped through this hole just to say i do have mag boots and i'm wearing my vac suit so oh if you want to activate your mag boots then skip that check yep i know that you were clearly aware that there's hard vacuum on the other side of that door and like that sounds like a you

problem no i did not know that i just i got my vac suit on because the android was putting on the other side of that door and like, that sounds like a you problem. No, I did not know that. I got my vac suit on because the android was putting on his battle dress. Yet more evidence that the android knows what's going on and is ready to fight something. I'm just saying. Yeah, I rolled wildly over my score

so assume sucked into the vacuum of space. Okay, not the vacuum of space but sucked through the hole. I rolled wildly over, but not critically over. In which case, Carter immediately activates his mag boots, and there's an element of wobble as you try and stabilise yourself, because there are still forces, but you're ultimately safe. Both 0170701 and Alabaster are sucked through the hole,

kind of pranging themselves on the edges of the hole and then you're sucked further into the warehouse area you bounce hard off of one of the shipping containers and then kind of normalize because this was a decompression not a constant you know suck however what does your hazard suit give you there, Alex? It doesn't say it has an oxygen tank, I'll tell you that. Yes, it does. Oh, does it? Air filter can store up to one hour of air in a small oxygen tank and can filter most toxic atmospheres. Oh, perfect. Protects against extreme heat and cold. Oh, this is the best thing ever. And that's fortunate because you're not quite in a hard vacuum, so that's maybe helpful.

Oh, may I stay in my head. This is just a good day. Are you both alive? I don't know. Do my eyes stay in my head? Well, I need to deal them some damage. 0-1-7-0-7-0-1, apart from being banged up, is broadly unconcerned. You are more than able to exist in a hard vacuum perfectly happily. Grand. So, Alabaster, you take yourself 15 damage fine i got loads of hit

points if you want context for that joke go listen to rustic with gaming oh no 0 1 7 0 7 0 1 you take 21 damage as you hit a particularly spiky bit and in fact a shard of metal like drives itself through your bicep what kind of fluids does an android body leak? No, not your precious android milk. It is a milky white substance. Just like a combination fuel and lubricant, I guess. Flubericant. I do not remove the bar of metal.

It stays there to plug the wound. It's only logical. Oh, yeah, no, fair enough, fair enough. So you two find yourselves now, like, sort of pseudo-floating. It's not quite no gravity. There's, like, a light pull towards the floor, as it were. But, yeah, it looks like there's a lot less atmosphere in here than there was elsewhere, than there was in the crew quarters.

Anyway, sorry, we'll pick up from where Carter is. I'm asking if you're OK. Are you all right? I'm alive. This is almost the same thing. the crew quarters anyway sorry we'll pick up from where carter is asking if you're okay you're all right i'm alive this is almost the same thing i have been impaled but not seriously i would appreciate the use of your laser cutter to okay lessen the awkwardness of continuing to move around with this object holds up arm bit of rebar sticking through. Right, as Carter sort of steps into the room and gets a good look at it, it looks like again the UEC hilltop doesn't appear to have been just a flat freighter. It's almost like there is a biome in here. Assumedly it also had a large spacious

area for whatever the ship's function was but in amongst all the shipping containers which were part of your cargo you're seeing like a lot more in the way of sort of cages there are bits of plant floating around the place as it looks like they were being stored and kept in pots and stuff which have been thrown around and there's various like heavy bits of machinery which might have been for excavation which have kind of merged with your shipping containers creating sort of a slightly moving basis kind of thing where these things aren't moving around quickly but if you do get between them and a wall they will just crush you because they have so much momentum but effectively you're in a large low gravity space with a slightly sloped floor and again

it's kind of doing the same thing so like the entire room is now an irregular octagon instead of a cube that you'd expect with just loads of debris and a lot more of that black moldy substance about the place and then yeah sort of in the middle of it all you can see zero one seven zero seven zero one sort of like stuck on a shipping container, which has burst open. I'll cut zero off. Brand. Yeah, that's nice and easy.

If I can describe it just for flavoury purposes, I'm now walking around with a bit of rebar sticking out of a bicep. Like, not far, but like ugly, chopped off. Just to say, if your government masters have given you any sort of leeway into determining who, like, makes it through this and who doesn't, just bear in mind that I did that and I helped, OK? I believe that it is important to you, for the purposes of functioning emotionally and psychologically,

to believe that there is more control granted to me over the course of this situation than, in fact, there is. I will not dissuade you from this. Please, just walk and talk. We will all die if you don't... We are walking and talking. We are walking and talking. Oh, please.

I'm happy to assume that conversations are going on during movement. Oh, I'm going to be clear, that's entirely in character. Alex is fine to sit and chill and slowly discuss the nuances of governmental oversight whilst we all die. Well, you have a hazard of space to cross and make sure that you are not crushed or otherwise damaged. Looking around, there are multiple small holes and gaps in the hull, because obviously these things did not intersect perfectly. It looks like the hull integrity is actually still pretty good and that the atmosphere is just leaking out instead of, you blowing a hole in the side of the ship and anyone who's

going to be like that's not how space works i'll say shut up i've got an adventure to run i don't care it's fine and uh yeah but you have all these large objects that are floating around and you can hear them kind of bouncing off each other the, with like this kind of booming cavernous sound. Sounds like a cool level in a platformer. That is vaguely the vibe I'm going for, yeah. But how would you as a group like to traverse this space? I'm using my mag boots. How's gravity?

Gravity is low. The mag boots will allow you to, apart from having to like disengage and re-engage them, probably move a bit more quickly and a bit more agile because you're able to make contact quicker. But you can move without them. I'm going to be moving pretty carefully with the mag boots, just prioritising keeping myself stable over anything else.

Are there any cargo ropes or anything kicking around? Yes, there is an amount of netting and ropes to keep things down. Carter, there's a lot of cargo ropes. Why don't we sort of do a rope chain with you as the anchor point? Because you've got mag boots and that way we won't all, you know, immediately float off. Yeah, all right. Great. An excellent solution.

Okay. You can tie each other together by like harvesting just bits of netting and rope which float close. You have to like move out of one of the big shipping containers, which kind of just starts moving towards you. You move out the way, it bounces off the hole that you left and starts moving back again. One other thing. I'm afraid I don't have much for you, 0170701,

but, um, Carter, I'm enabled by the company to offer you, uh, basically I've got stimpaks and pain pills that can sort of help out in high-stress situations, so... Yeah, all right, I'll have one. Just don't overdo them. Are you in pain? Uh, yeah. Alright. I,

as a character, lack the self-confidence to query that. I have a bunch, so you have two pain pills and two stimpaks that I can pass to you. Pain pills basically help you heal, stimpaks make you a bit of a beast for a while. Is Carter someone who's just gonna take a stimpack right now?

Probably not yet, no. Okay, okay. It's tempting, but... Cool. So at this point then, is it with Carter leading the way, you're all trying to sort of navigate this area? Oh, ungainly as anything, yeah. I'm pretty gainly.

Carter, would you mind making me a strength check as you try and sort of like keep this under control certainly i'm just quickly checking if i have any skills that might be useful for this oh i do have zero g yeah it's not a zero g environment but you're very used to using these mag boots to move normally and i rolled a five oh yeah great this is fine you are moving confidently along the floor you're able to keep things under control enough that when objects are moving towards you you're able to sort of stop in good time or do a quick scooch and pull everybody with you that obviously zero one seven zero seven zero one and alabaster are you know have control as well.

But basically, you're kind of assisting Carter in the general direction and dodging smaller bits of debris. You make your way across the room. You're about halfway through. You have got through the majority of the large debris. It seems to be sort of gathered up towards the front of your ship and the back of hilltop like from where you came after you get through that sort of field this area is a lot more open but is a lot more full of that mold which is clinging to the walls you will probably have to start moving through it if you want to make some forward progress there are also clumps of it sort of floating free and also are attached to smaller bits like there is still a shipping container or two here it's just they're less full up and they're moving less erratically so they're less of a danger can i

while we're in the floaty bit grab the bit of rebar that is cut off my arm and yes i want to have some rebar because that will help me prod dangerous things cool and also i would say use that as if it were a crowbar yes at the risk of sounding like a pharmacist uh carter i i also have uh i see a lot of that stuff i have an auto med long story short it just makes you better at body saves and stuff like that which i think might be relevant here i realize i'm just pushing pills as the solution to every problem currently i mean the problems are being crushed or poisoned. And yeah, obviously it's, you know, worth reminding ourselves and the audience

that none of you are actually breathing the atmosphere of this room at the moment because you're all on your various oxygen reserves or not breathing. How would you like to cross this field of mould? As you're looking at it, you can see there are a lot of these sort of like semi-translucent fronds sort of in pairs or just dotted around the place that are kind of poking out of the surface of this thing you can't quite tell if like are they plant life are they something weird is it part of the sporing process like who knows but they're kind of dotted around in front of you. Once the gravity is a bit firmer, as security and also the androids who have been programmed to understand that they are the most replaceable,

Zero will go first. Oh, that's so sad. Oh, yes. Zero will place themselves at the head of the queue and be trying to poke or sweep fronds and fungus stuff out of the way. Okay, so as you take your first exploratory prod at one of these fronds, it retracts. You know how a snail's eye stalk will do if it gets touched?

They kind of go... It kind of does the same thing. Don't like that. The other one doesn't seem to move at all. Hmm, don't like that. The other one doesn't seem to move at all. And then you see a very, very, like, almost a vantablack, which is like a really, really dark black that looks almost unreal.

Yeah, yeah, absorbs all the light. Sort of tendril moves out of the greater mass of mould from around this particular frond and kind of, like, lightly wraps itself around the piece of rebar that you were using like it's not tugging it out of you but it's just like kind of drapes itself almost like a oh no my rebar does it disintegrate does it boil no and it almost feels like nothing is really on the rebar it's not very heavy it's not exerting a force or a pressure i I'm going to try and pull my rebar back. It's my rebar. Uh-huh.

Okay. And as you pull it back, it kind of draws this lump out along with it, which appears to be attached to the fronds. So it's like the tendril and a lump and then the fronds poking out of the top. You pull it out and it appears that some sort of like squid-like boneless thing is sat on top of your rebar.

I mean, it seems pretty passive. Laser cutter! No, no, no, no, get a sample, get a sample! I'm assuming laser cutter is not Carter just shouting that, it's Carter doing that. No, Carter's laser cuttering it. No, God, Carter, no, no, please, God, no! In which case, case i mean make me i'm gonna say a combat just to make sure like nothing goes wrong because you're kind of acting

quickly but yeah make me a combat check cut the entire ship in half damn it that's a 75 i have missed i've been like orchids and yeah but it's not critical right i don't get hit remind me what are critical any doubles so a 77 would have been a critical failure, but that's just a normal failure. Gotcha. This is not that. This is just failing to laser cutter this thing. Yeah, so you kind of spray this like small,

well, laser wildly. You miss the top of the crowbar and just kind of like, you know, it's distance based, so it doesn't do much damage to like the opposite wall, but it kind of just like zings off and you see like a little heat trail. I think you should all probably take a stress from that because that was kind of like a kind of action. Mm-hmm.

Yep. I'm going to go ahead and claim that I'm the reason you missed because I'll have immediately been shoving it like, no, don't stop, please, God. Yeah. You don't know, that could make it worse. Just get it in a pot. If that should not be on the ship and we should destroy it. Get it in a pot. You don't know what you're dealing with. Don't get it in a pot. If that should not be on the ship and we should destroy it.

Get it in a pot. You don't know what you're dealing with. Don't get it in a pot. Kill it. What if that doesn't kill it? What if that makes it multiply? What if that makes it 300 times bigger? You don't know.

During this conversation, the creature is just slowly moving up the rebar towards your hand. 0-1-7-0-7-0-1. Yep. Going to be so absorbed in this conversation it's always fun to try and protest human emotions i'm not going to notice until it is nearly touching me at which point i will throw it across the room and there'll be a big clattering sound i would like you to make me an armor check as as you throw it with the violent motion

it suddenly convulses and then tries to grab onto your hand which it's almost at. Not great. I rolled a 40 and it says that my armour is 25. What's it? Plus 5? What does the battle dress

do? It confers a plus 10% bonus to the wearer's armour save. I absolutely did not hit that. I rolled a 40 and my armour is 25. How much do you fail by? 5. I missed by 5. Okay, good. This thing missed by 18. So you managed to withdraw your hand quickly enough that it kind of like, its tendrils try and jab into where your hand was and

it reveals it has like 10 of these things which it then like spikes into the same area and it makes like a little weird squeaking noise which the others interpret as irritation maybe 0 1 7 0 7 0 1 has like a bit of like uh what is that i don don't know. Okay. I told you, I told you. Yeah, but that's probably going to make it worse. Oh, everyone make a panic roll. Yeah. Because you've been attacked by an alien. And that's two 10s, right? Two D10, add them together.

Uh-huh. I'm still just about okay. I got a 10. I fail wildly, but not critically. When you say you fail, so your stress is? My stress is already at plus six. And you rolled? 58. Nope, you rolled five plus eight. I rolled 13, sorry. That's fine. So you're all fine. Oh good. Yeah, we're chill. This is cool. This happens all the time. Lower

your stress level by one. Oh, that's fine. We've proved I think that we can beat these aliens. Oh absolutely, it's going to be really easy. after having just been well attempt to have been attacked by an alien and managing to get away with it and everyone's really nice and cool about that we'll find out how justified that nice and coolness is next episode because we have reached our time so say goodbye everybody goodbye everybody goodbye everybody excellent yes I knew one of you at least would do that. Bye. It was me. And Alex.

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