The Magnus Archives - MAG Outtakes - An Editor's Perspective
Episode Date: August 5, 2021The editors of The Magnus Archives have witnessed a fair few things in their time, let's take a moment to hear things from their P.O.V.Featuring; Alexander J. Newall, Helen Gould, Lowri Ann Davies, Ly...dia Nicholas, Sasha Sienna, Jonathan Sims, Chioma Nwalioba and Frank Voss .Content Warnings:InnuendoScreaming & groaningDiscussions of: exerciseMentions of: alcoholSFX: occasional beepingThank you to all our Patrons for your continued supportIf you'd like to join them, visit www.patreon.com/rustyquill.Edited by Nico Vettese & Jeffrey Nils GardnerCheck out our merchandise at https://www.redbubble.com/people/rustyquill/collections/708982-the-magnus-archives-s1You can subscribe to this podcast using your podcast software of choice, or by visiting www.rustyquill.com/subscribePlease rate and review on your software of choice, it really helps us to spread the podcast to new listeners, so share the fear.Join our community:WEBSITE: rustyquill.comFACEBOOK: facebook.com/therustyquillTWITTER: @therustyquillREDDIT: reddit.com/r/RustyQuillEMAIL: mail@rustyquill.comThe Magnus Archives is a podcast distributed by Rusty Quill Ltd. and licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial Sharealike 4.0 International Licence Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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mymcg.info slash rustyquill. To be continued... Magnus-filled day, which is not a good thing. Mostly just being sad down the microphone
whilst Johnny gets to be scary down the microphone.
Just one time I want to be scary,
I want to be like, rah, I'm gonna get ya!
But no, it's sad Martin, sad Martin time.
Ha, may have just realised what's on the desk.
Beep boop, beep boop, I am Alex.
I am here to read. Can you spot the guy that's
been recording way too much? Okay. Well, well, let's try this again. Right. Martin, Martin,
Martin. Oh no, sorry. Also Martin. Right. Soft and close to mic. Here we go.
Close to mic.
Here we go.
Oof.
Okay.
So that is all of the Martin only takes.
You are going to hate me by the end of this,
so you're going to be like,
Alex, stop.
This is like four hours of audio.
And I'm going to be like,
yup.
And you're going to be like,
why are you doing this, Alex?
And I'm going to be like,
because Johnny hates you and hates me
and made us do this.
Sorry. I just, when my brain says you're acting now i'm like ah i'm on a stage to the gods can we go with uh take four subbing in from take three um
ah screw it uh either take three or take four but please make sure to use the funnest bits from take four.
Make us sound cool.
Add some cows.
Yeah.
Yeah, basically.
In which case, then, we can all stop recording.
I think we're good there.
Okay.
Three, two, one.
I never noticed, but you clap with the force of a thousand suns.
I do.
I do.
Boom.
That's how one claps.
Please use I want my cat back from the pickup.
And Alex has confirmed that you use the sauciest unoccupied.
Okay, no, he hasn't.
He's unsure whether to go saucy or not, but he's right.
I probably shouldn't have made it so saucy.
I just can't.
It's my raw sexual energy, Alex.
You all right?
Yeah, my vocal fry's real bad today.
I mean, from here on in i think martin's allowed to have
as much vocal fry as he needs from this point it's okay the issue is that the previous recording was
comparative to clean i remember so i need to i need to transition it into haggard alex oh look
it's elias what do we do about him yeah a little bit my voice is broken johnny we started this so
long ago and i've gone through all these changes and there's
this hair everywhere, Johnny. I can't
play Martin anymore. I don't know what's going on.
Well, I mean, it had to happen eventually,
didn't it?
A Bouchard body.
It's a Bouchard bod. A Bouchard bod.
The boo-boo.
The boo-bod.
The boo-bod. boo-bod boo-bodic play yeah there we go grand okay thank you editor thank you editor thank you
editor okay right let's uh one thing chumma is when doing the silence marker just because it
uh we've come to be aware of something with the equipment if you can please click rather than
clap if you can't click just make it a sort of light golf clap i can't i can't remember if we
knew that last time that you were recording no worries i can click away i'm quite proud of my clicking as well for snapping excellent in that case then everyone loves
clicking it's just a universal truth that if you can click everyone's like i love it yeah i can
click i feel sorry for the people who can't i heard some behind the scenes audio of the rusty
cool gaming crew roasting me for clicking too dramatically.
How does one click dramatically?
Allow me to do an impression of Johnny clicking.
This is important.
Right.
Normal human click.
Johnny click.
He clicks like a magician just before the curtains are pulled aside
and the assistant has disappeared.
And so we begin. Every time.
I love it.
I click like a normal human man.
I think it's a mechanisms
click, honestly. It's the
normal human
man click.
Three, two,
one.
Sorry, Johnny, that was a bit of a rubbish click.
Can we...
I'm messing.
I just realised that since this is being recorded,
everyone's going to see how I lick my fingers
for every silence marker because my hands are dry.
Well, they weren't gonna until you said that.
Oh, God, could you imagine?
Everyone else clicks.
For Zim, it's the actual lick itself.
That's the marker.
I need to get you some E45 cream just for the pads of your fingers.
That was a very funny joke.
Editor, that was a very funny joke from Lowry that you will never know.
Lowry made a great joke.
It was a callback to something that I've said
that you also didn't hear.
So I'm sorry.
In fact, you know what I'm going to do?
I'm going to use the magic sauce.
I'm going to stand the f*** up.
What?
Oh, hey, lower back.
I remember you.
I've not used you in more than a year.
How are you doing?
You know what?
I literally have had several messages
while we've been recording about
my partner got a standing desk
and a wobble board.
A wobble board? What a f***ing champ and says that it is
a full body workout that like you spend the next day like you have to build up slowly because if
you ever do it then the next day it's like oh those are the small muscles that i forgot i had
i'm intimidated just at the thought yeah wob, wobble board's next on my list.
And then I'll be that dickhead who also sits on an exercise ball
and there'll be no going back.
Oh, my God.
A wobble board on an exercise ball.
Oh, I hate this now.
It's just that thing where when you're bored in a tabletop session
and you're just building towers of dice,
except with Alex and various exercise equipment.
I was so proud of investing in a desk
that has shelves that come out
and then finding a second screen
that fit in the little thing.
Nice. You're tethered to the sitting
world. That's it. That's it,
Johnny. I'm tethered to this.
That second screen, a nail through
your feet.
No, a nail through your ass into the chair.
Oof.
Yeah.
Like kill everyone.
Thanks for adding the direction super awkward.
Needs more.
Needs more awkward.
Okay.
The cat is howling outside the door, so give me a second.
Little cat.
He's so cute.
Go away.
Wow, wow, wow.
I used to worry about that.
I had some really clacky headphones.
Cheap ones I stole from work Oh are you still recording that
Lowry because that was a confession
Of theft from my employer
As was at the time
Now currently
Part of
I stole those
Legitimately that all has to be bleeped
Or cut whoever's editing this
please do
bleep or edit
all of this out
thank you
they're the shittiest
headphones in the world
gotta keep bleeping
gotta keep cutting
the second that you said
which employer should f*** in sale thanks for that
you're welcome hearing people have flexibility issues as i'm basically just going through life
in a perpetual t-pose i'm that inflexible like oh alex's whole body get gradually ossifying
but those actually like overlap like i always thought
i was always thought i was way too stiff but that's because my muscles are desperately trying
to hold everything together so they hold your bones in yeah people are like oh just relax your
shoulders and i'm like that's why they are relaxed oh i think i'm just hitting old man puberty early
that's all i have weird urges to yell at people to get off my lawn.
I don't have a lawn that they're on, but I just want them to get off it, you know?
You've got a little lawn out back.
You've got a lovely lawn.
Are you sure it's not rigor mortis?
Oh, no, you know what?
S***. Fair call.
Test one, test two. Blobby with friends, blobby with friends. Test one, test two
Blobby with friends, blobby with friends
Test one, test two
Confirm blobbying with
Are you alright Alex?
What's going on?
Yeah I'm going to be yelling in this scene aren't I?
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! How's your spectrogram?
Yeah, it's fine.
A dress spontaneously appears over both of them,
and they Charleston out of there.
It's fabulous.
Everyone's like, what a show, what a show.
Standing ovations all around.
Do you ever get the feeling that we're utterly heartless
and we just undercut everything
because there's not actually anything going on
behind the flesh of our forms?
We're millennials.
We find it difficult.
We find sincerity difficult.
We compulsively undercut it.
Oh, no, no. difficulty we find uh sincerity difficult where we compulsively undercut it oh no no oh goodbye editor oh my word
we'll never hear from each other again the last thing you'll never ever hear my voice
there's no possible reason to exist you could hear from me as I will vanish onto the wind.
Into space.
I will become dust.
I'm just laughing at everyone else's sign off.
And thank you for making me sound incredible.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's exactly it.
I don't feel so good.
That's what happens when Alex takes the microphone away from us.
We just freeze.
And then there's no more existence for you.
Goodbye.
No, seriously, goodbye.
Thank you.
This might be my last ever recording.
I mean, to be fair, they'll be editing it much more in order,
so it's not the last time they'll be hearing me.
It might be the last time I'm speaking into this microphone
saying words as the archivist.
Gosh, it's a momentous occasion.
I'm going to be real.
I'm pretty sure that there are going to be a couple of pickups, so...
We should open a bottle of Prosecco or something.
If it is the last, oh, it feels lovely. But if it it is the last oh it feels lovely but if it's not the
last it feels normal actually editor you have control over this file you'll probably know
whether there's any more recordings to be done so just delete as appropriate
oh i can't believe it's over what a journey or this is another normal recording i foresee
more talking into microphones in the future.
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and licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution
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Thanks for listening.
Hello, it's Kareem, the voice of Simon Fairchard from the Magnus Archives,
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