The Magnus Archives - MAG Outtakes - An Editor's Perspective

Episode Date: August 5, 2021

The editors of The Magnus Archives have witnessed a fair few things in their time, let's take a moment to hear things from their P.O.V.Featuring; Alexander J. Newall, Helen Gould, Lowri Ann Davies, Lydia Nicholas, Sasha Sienna, Jonathan Sims, Chioma Nwalioba and Frank Voss .Content Warnings:InnuendoScreaming & groaningDiscussions of: exerciseMentions of: alcoholSFX: occasional beepingThank you to all our Patrons for your continued supportIf you'd like to join them, visit www.patreon.com/rustyquill.Edited by Nico Vettese & Jeffrey Nils GardnerCheck out our merchandise at https://www.redbubble.com/people/rustyquill/collections/708982-the-magnus-archives-s1You can subscribe to this podcast using your podcast software of choice, or by visiting www.rustyquill.com/subscribePlease rate and review on your software of choice, it really helps us to spread the podcast to new listeners, so share the fear.Join our community:WEBSITE: rustyquill.comFACEBOOK: facebook.com/therustyquillTWITTER: @therustyquillREDDIT: reddit.com/r/RustyQuillEMAIL: [e-mail] Magnus Archives is a podcast distributed by Rusty Quill Ltd. and licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial Sharealike 4.0 International Licence Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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whilst Johnny gets to be scary down the microphone. Just one time I want to be scary, I want to be like, rah, I'm gonna get ya! But no, it's sad Martin, sad Martin time. Ha, may have just realised what's on the desk. Beep boop, beep boop, I am Alex. I am here to read. Can you spot the guy that's been recording way too much? Okay. Well, well, let's try this again. Right. Martin, Martin,

Martin. Oh no, sorry. Also Martin. Right. Soft and close to mic. Here we go. Close to mic. Here we go. Oof. Okay. So that is all of the Martin only takes. You are going to hate me by the end of this, so you're going to be like,

Alex, stop. This is like four hours of audio. And I'm going to be like, yup. And you're going to be like, why are you doing this, Alex? And I'm going to be like, because Johnny hates you and hates me

and made us do this. Sorry. I just, when my brain says you're acting now i'm like ah i'm on a stage to the gods can we go with uh take four subbing in from take three um ah screw it uh either take three or take four but please make sure to use the funnest bits from take four. Make us sound cool. Add some cows. Yeah. Yeah, basically. In which case, then, we can all stop recording.

I think we're good there. Okay. Three, two, one. I never noticed, but you clap with the force of a thousand suns. I do. I do. Boom. That's how one claps.

Please use I want my cat back from the pickup. And Alex has confirmed that you use the sauciest unoccupied. Okay, no, he hasn't. He's unsure whether to go saucy or not, but he's right. I probably shouldn't have made it so saucy. I just can't. It's my raw sexual energy, Alex. You all right?

Yeah, my vocal fry's real bad today. I mean, from here on in i think martin's allowed to have as much vocal fry as he needs from this point it's okay the issue is that the previous recording was comparative to clean i remember so i need to i need to transition it into haggard alex oh look it's elias what do we do about him yeah a little bit my voice is broken johnny we started this so long ago and i've gone through all these changes and there's this hair everywhere, Johnny. I can't play Martin anymore. I don't know what's going on.

Well, I mean, it had to happen eventually, didn't it? A Bouchard body. It's a Bouchard bod. A Bouchard bod. The boo-boo. The boo-bod. The boo-bod. boo-bod boo-bodic play yeah there we go grand okay thank you editor thank you editor thank you editor okay right let's uh one thing chumma is when doing the silence marker just because it

uh we've come to be aware of something with the equipment if you can please click rather than clap if you can't click just make it a sort of light golf clap i can't i can't remember if we knew that last time that you were recording no worries i can click away i'm quite proud of my clicking as well for snapping excellent in that case then everyone loves clicking it's just a universal truth that if you can click everyone's like i love it yeah i can click i feel sorry for the people who can't i heard some behind the scenes audio of the rusty cool gaming crew roasting me for clicking too dramatically. How does one click dramatically? Allow me to do an impression of Johnny clicking.

This is important. Right. Normal human click. Johnny click. He clicks like a magician just before the curtains are pulled aside and the assistant has disappeared. And so we begin. Every time. I love it.

I click like a normal human man. I think it's a mechanisms click, honestly. It's the normal human man click. Three, two, one. Sorry, Johnny, that was a bit of a rubbish click.

Can we... I'm messing. I just realised that since this is being recorded, everyone's going to see how I lick my fingers for every silence marker because my hands are dry. Well, they weren't gonna until you said that. Oh, God, could you imagine? Everyone else clicks.

For Zim, it's the actual lick itself. That's the marker. I need to get you some E45 cream just for the pads of your fingers. That was a very funny joke. Editor, that was a very funny joke from Lowry that you will never know. Lowry made a great joke. It was a callback to something that I've said that you also didn't hear.

So I'm sorry. In fact, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to use the magic sauce. I'm going to stand the f*** up. What? Oh, hey, lower back. I remember you. I've not used you in more than a year.

How are you doing? You know what? I literally have had several messages while we've been recording about my partner got a standing desk and a wobble board. A wobble board? What a f***ing champ and says that it is a full body workout that like you spend the next day like you have to build up slowly because if

you ever do it then the next day it's like oh those are the small muscles that i forgot i had i'm intimidated just at the thought yeah wob, wobble board's next on my list. And then I'll be that dickhead who also sits on an exercise ball and there'll be no going back. Oh, my God. A wobble board on an exercise ball. Oh, I hate this now. It's just that thing where when you're bored in a tabletop session

and you're just building towers of dice, except with Alex and various exercise equipment. I was so proud of investing in a desk that has shelves that come out and then finding a second screen that fit in the little thing. Nice. You're tethered to the sitting world. That's it. That's it,

Johnny. I'm tethered to this. That second screen, a nail through your feet. No, a nail through your ass into the chair. Oof. Yeah. Like kill everyone. Thanks for adding the direction super awkward.

Needs more. Needs more awkward. Okay. The cat is howling outside the door, so give me a second. Little cat. He's so cute. Go away. Wow, wow, wow.

I used to worry about that. I had some really clacky headphones. Cheap ones I stole from work Oh are you still recording that Lowry because that was a confession Of theft from my employer As was at the time Now currently Part of

I stole those Legitimately that all has to be bleeped Or cut whoever's editing this please do bleep or edit all of this out thank you they're the shittiest

headphones in the world gotta keep bleeping gotta keep cutting the second that you said which employer should f*** in sale thanks for that you're welcome hearing people have flexibility issues as i'm basically just going through life in a perpetual t-pose i'm that inflexible like oh alex's whole body get gradually ossifying but those actually like overlap like i always thought

i was always thought i was way too stiff but that's because my muscles are desperately trying to hold everything together so they hold your bones in yeah people are like oh just relax your shoulders and i'm like that's why they are relaxed oh i think i'm just hitting old man puberty early that's all i have weird urges to yell at people to get off my lawn. I don't have a lawn that they're on, but I just want them to get off it, you know? You've got a little lawn out back. You've got a lovely lawn. Are you sure it's not rigor mortis?

Oh, no, you know what? S***. Fair call. Test one, test two. Blobby with friends, blobby with friends. Test one, test two Blobby with friends, blobby with friends Test one, test two Confirm blobbying with Are you alright Alex? What's going on?

Yeah I'm going to be yelling in this scene aren't I? Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! How's your spectrogram? Yeah, it's fine. A dress spontaneously appears over both of them, and they Charleston out of there. It's fabulous. Everyone's like, what a show, what a show. Standing ovations all around.

Do you ever get the feeling that we're utterly heartless and we just undercut everything because there's not actually anything going on behind the flesh of our forms? We're millennials. We find it difficult. We find sincerity difficult. We compulsively undercut it.

Oh, no, no. difficulty we find uh sincerity difficult where we compulsively undercut it oh no no oh goodbye editor oh my word we'll never hear from each other again the last thing you'll never ever hear my voice there's no possible reason to exist you could hear from me as I will vanish onto the wind. Into space. I will become dust. I'm just laughing at everyone else's sign off. And thank you for making me sound incredible. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's exactly it. I don't feel so good. That's what happens when Alex takes the microphone away from us. We just freeze. And then there's no more existence for you. Goodbye. No, seriously, goodbye. Thank you.

This might be my last ever recording. I mean, to be fair, they'll be editing it much more in order, so it's not the last time they'll be hearing me. It might be the last time I'm speaking into this microphone saying words as the archivist. Gosh, it's a momentous occasion. I'm going to be real. I'm pretty sure that there are going to be a couple of pickups, so...

We should open a bottle of Prosecco or something. If it is the last, oh, it feels lovely. But if it it is the last oh it feels lovely but if it's not the last it feels normal actually editor you have control over this file you'll probably know whether there's any more recordings to be done so just delete as appropriate oh i can't believe it's over what a journey or this is another normal recording i foresee more talking into microphones in the future. This episode is distributed by Rusty Quill and licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution

non-commercial share alike 4.0 international license. For more information, visit rustyyQuill.com, tweet us at TheRustyQuill, visit us on Facebook, or email us at mail at RustyQuill.com. Thanks for listening. Hello, it's Kareem, the voice of Simon Fairchard from the Magnus Archives, letting you know about our sponsor, Audible. Hello, it's Kareem, the voice of Simon Fairchart from the Magnus Archives, letting you know about our sponsor, Audible.

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