The Magnus Archives - RQ Network Feed Drop – Gals & Goblins – Ep.1 All aboard the Owl Cat Bus

Episode Date: May 21, 2026

Today, we are sharing an exciting episode from one of the podcasts on the RQ Network, Gals & GoblinsGals and Goblins is an actual play TTRPG Podcast that loosely follows the rules of Dungeons and Dragons and strictly follows the Rule of Cool.In this first episode titled "All Aboard the Owl Cat Bus”, join the gals: Sawyer Cinderfoot Morroghan Starr, Esta of House Ruadon and Beans as they embark on their first adventure together on their way to Frogmont Adventuring Academy for Young Women! Will they make it to Lorelai Village? What will they encounter on their first bit of adventure in the magical realm of Eldrivale?They don’t know exactly what the future holds but we can assure you there will be shenanigans and friendship galore. Introduction and outro by Lowri Ann Davies. You can listen to the next exciting episode of Gals & Goblins by clicking on this link, or by searching for Gals & Goblins wherever you find podcasts, or on the Rusty Quill websiteCast:Hosted by:Campbell DuffyLilly PercifieldOlivia Rose McCainJared VosWinkelCover art by Heather VaughanContent Warnings: Threat and descriptions of physical violence and death. For ad-free episodes, bonus content and more, join members.rustyquill.com or our Patreon.Pre-order FROM THE LIBRARY OF JURGEN LEITNER, a Magnus novel: rustyquill.com/novelBuy tickets to a Magnus Archives Live Show in Sheffield in July: crossedwires.live Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hi there, Billy Hindle here, the voice of Alice in the Magnus Protocol. I'm here to let you know that Rusty Quill will be attending UK Games Expo at the Birmingham NEC this May the 29th to May 31st. We are hosting two free shows, along with our friends at Montecut Games and indie boards and cards. If you come along to the Montecut Game Stand at the Expo, you will be able to demo the Magnus Archives role-playing game and the Magnus Protocol Mysteries game and grab a copy for yourself. You can find out more about our shows at RustyQuil.com.

Expo, that's RustyQuil.com forward slash EXPO. You'll need a ticket for entry to the UK Games Expo, but once inside, Rusty Quill shows and demos are 100% free on a first-come, first-served basis. Hi everyone, it's Lowry, voice of Celia in the Magnus Protocol. Today we are sharing an exciting episode from one of the podcasts on the RQ network, Gals and Goblins. Gals and Goblins is an actual play T-T-R-PG podcast that loosely follows the rules of Dungeons and Dragons, and strictly follows the rule of cool. It's the first day of school. In this first episode titled All Aboard the Alcat Bus, Meet the Gals, Sawyer Cinderfoot, Lily Persefield, Morahan star Maddie Lam, Esther of House Rwandon, Campbell Duffy and Beans, Olivia Rose McCain, as they embark on their first

adventure together, on their way to Frogmont Advent Advent Adventing Academy for young women. Will they make it to Lorelei Village? What will they encounter on their first adventure in the magical realm of Eldravale. They don't know exactly what the future holds, but we can assure you there will be shenanigans and friendship galore. To listen to more brilliant episodes, search Gals and Goblins, wherever you listen to podcasts. Click the link in the show notes or find more information at RustyQuil.com. Have fun and enjoy the episode. Welcome to Gals and Goblins, an adventure podcast that loosely follows the rules of Dungeons and Dragons and strictly follows the rules of cool. I am your Gobel Master, Jared Voswinkle, and with me are the

gals, Lily Persefield. Sawyer Cinderfoot, the future Arcana Ball champion of Frogmont Academy. Hell yeah. Maddy Lamb. Morgan Star, Frogmont's cutest dose of chaos. Campbell Duffy. Esther of House Ruudon, the 15th child

of the Lord and Lady of Stormbreak. And Olivia Rose McCain. Baines. Running towards the school bell like cat deaths of hell. All right. Welcome to the realm of Eldravale. Only decades ago, the magical continent was plunged into war between the stars and the hells over a mysterious object. To prepare future generations, the family of El Draval send their

children to the great adventuring academies on quests of profound importance. However, after years without conflict, these schools have delved into shells of their former prestige. Our story begins with four unlikely heroes. All right, so the sun is just starting to rise. We see rays of pink and oranges peering over the horizon. We see a little halfling girl standing on the side of a road next to a sign with a frog-like creature on it called a bully walk. The halfling's name is Sawyer Senderfoot. Lily, would you like to describe your character?

Sawyer is a very round, stout halfling. She has two thick braids and bangs that cut straight across her forehead, and then she has round rosy cheeks and round wire glasses. She's wearing a hand-me-down Frogmont Letterman jacket over her uniform, and from behind her right shoulder kind of poking out is the handle of an ornate long sword. Hell yeah. Great, great description. Okay. And she is vibrating. So you've only ever really seen the regular bus stop here, the one that you're at,

whenever it took you to school. It comes much later than the time that you're at. It's very early in the morning. But this is where the acceptance letter told you to go, to be at the bus stop. What is Sawyer thinking right now? You said you're vibrating and stuff. What's going on in that little halfling head of yours?

Sawyer is kind of going over, I think she's going over what she's going to write in her journal tonight. And if you were to come up and ask her what her day has looked like so far. She would say... Something interrupts this thought real quick. Give me a perception check.

Four. To five. At this point, you start getting like a weird feeling like kind of in the pity or stuff. Like you're like,

you don't know what the feeling is is like, oh, am I nervous to go? Is something gonna happen? Like what's... Like, you start kind of feeling uneasy. Yeah, no, just the thought of that crystal ball. Like someone is maybe like watching you or something?

What do you want to do? I guess are there any just kind of whirl around and maybe like, is there kind of like a bus stop that I can look behind? So to describe it a little bit more, the entire like neighborhood is behind you. So those little hobbit holes that are kind of cookie cutter houses almost. So if something was watching you, you would think the only way of cover would be from the houses behind you.

Okay, weird. I guess I don't want to trespass, but can I just kind of creep up over there? Yeah, so I'm going to say, so as you turn around, you see this large figure jumping from the tops of the houses, like the hills over. And you can't really see. But as it gets close, like you hear it is strong and very agile. you see two floating, glowing orbs that are on this thing. I'm going to yell up at it. This thing like picks up speed,

and you also see that it has like wings on its back, and you now see that it has these paws that are like a big cat, and it has these talons that are like a bird coming out of it. And its face looks like a tawny owl, and the glowing orbs are its eyes. And it has this kind look to its face, its little owl face. And on its back is this bus-like thing. And it just jumps and jumps and jumps

until it gets up next to you. And you see that, weirdly enough, there is an inside to it that looks like a bus. And there is a little goblin who has long, pointy ears and a tiny, knows and he has these thick glasses on his face that are like bottles basically. They pull up to the bus stop and he goes like, like, all aboard. Oh, hey, looks like you are going to Frogmont.

Yeah, get on in. Thanks. As you get up like the little, this owl cat, like the inside like opens up and like these stairs kind of form out of fur and you climb on in and this little goblin reaches his hand down. He goes, hi, my name's Gilbo. Hi, Gilbo. My name's Sawyer. It's very nice to meet you. Nice to meet you.

I'm going to, I'm going to, I guess I'll take you to Frogmont. Well, I'll get you as close as I can to Frogmont, but yeah, you're on your way to Frogmont. Oh, wow, I can't believe it. Thank you so much. You sit down in one of the fur covered seats on this Alcat bus, and you guys take off. We are now going to transition to this mountainside where we settle in on some docks that are hanging off the side of the cliff and it looks like shipping docks

but they have their own bus stops. Campbell would you like to describe your character? Esta is a very tall elf. She has short little pointed ears, very long features bright blue eyes and the longest blonde hair you've ever seen. She has very intricate braids at the top of her head. And she is wearing sort of a silvery blue shirt with a little bow at the top of the buttons. So you're standing at these kind of docks. There is four bus stops. There's one that's furthest away from you. You can't really discern what it is. It gets made out of brass, but,

it's dirty and it's grimy and it looks like no one's even looked at it and who knows how many years. There's one closer to you that is a large black rock formation and you can kind of see a sign on it that says brimstone Academy. And then the one that's further to your left is this beautiful golden sign with these light blue accents that says Valkyri High on it. And then the one in front of you is this very small, wooden, uncared for. sign that has a picture of a bullywug on it. I'm kind of standing in front of all of them. I can either choose the bus stop that's going to take me to Weaselby, where I would have to attend school for six years before being transferred to Velcro

where all of my 14 older siblings have gone. You are completely alone on this dock, and so do you walk up? to the... Very carefully walk up to the Frogmont one because I realized how, how rickety it is. So you walk up to it and the sign is at your feet. And as soon as you get close to the edge, this rush of wind goes over you as this giant owl cat thing

flies in front of you, circles around and then lands right in front of the dock. And then you see a little goblin and a halfling inside. And the goblin says, uh, Frogmont. Yes, please. All right, get on in. I step in.

Uh, y'all see each other now. What are you? Hi, you must be going to Frogmont. Yes, hello. Nice to meet you. I'm Esther. Nice to meet you, too. I bet you're so excited.

I am too. I can freak you out. I'm sure they'll have a uniform for you. This is actually my mom's. It's a hand-me-down. That's wonderful. Do you mind if I sit next to you? Oh yeah, sure, come on.

Okay. And with that, we are going to transition over to this dense forest. There are these very tall trees that have these bioluminescent flowers and vines, a lot of castles, very pretty foresty kind of vibe going on. We see a bunch of leaves falling from these trees, and we go to a singular bus stop with. a bully wug on it. Maddie, would you like to describe your character? Yeah. Lorgan is, she's a cute little elf. She's around 5'8, and she's definitely shiny from

running through the forest. She's got these medium-length elf ears that are definitely disproportional to her face size. She's got this really long red hair and these really bright green eyes like the forest around her, and she likes to wear like green capes and green clothes to like match the forest and she's got a sprinkle of freckles all throughout her face. Awesome. Okay, so Morrigan, you're standing there in the forest and you start hearing seeds hitting the ground around you. You look up because one barely misses your head and you see this kind of bigger seed. It's still probably half the size of your palm and it's like flittering down as it has kind of a sprout coming out of its, the top of it,

and it has these two leaves that are kind of acting as propellers as it floats down. You also notice that it has little legs. It's trying hard to figure out where to land. What do you do? I like to act as a landing for this little guy. This little guy lands on your hand. It's just a large seed with little legs with a sprout out. of it and then it just kind of like nestles into your hand and as it touches your hand uh give me an

arcana check okay there's something obviously there's something magical about this seed you don't know what it is exactly yet but it almost restores you a little bit uh from your run you know you said that you were sweaty for reminding it it kind of makes you less fatigued and as you're looking down at the seed you don't even notice that a giant owl uh cat but has landed in front of you and there is now a halfling and now another elf right and a goblin in this bus and they're like you going to fragmat i i look up from the little seed that i have definitely been staring at this entire time and go oh hi um hi uh frogmont yes or no we hey we got a schedule to keep oh yeah i quick okay uh are you is it on the ground or yeah yeah i left it like you left it

Okay, well, we gotta go. You know what, forget the backpack. It's okay. Forget the backpack. We got to go. All right, get on. Okay, you get on, and now you see this halfling and this other elf.

Another wug joins the bunch. God. I messed up. It's nice to meet y'all. Yeah, nice to meet you too. You can squeeze it on our bench if you want. Okay, I walk over and I plop myself right in between them on top of both of their legs.

All righty, so you guys are all sitting in this chair. and the Alcat blasts off into the sky. Gilbo looks back. He goes, well, all right. That's everyone. Time to make it our way to Frogmont. And you guys start flying. You guys fly for some time, probably like an hour.

You guys are kind of chasing the sun, so it's still dark beneath you. And then you see off into the distance fire erupt from the forest. Flash red. It goes streaking across the sky. The Alcat bus yowls a little bit. And Gilbo goes, now, calm down there, Sarah.

Calm down. And I had another name for it, but I forgot what it was. I'm so funny. Sarah. Sarah starts just yowling and aiming towards this comeuppance that's happening in the forest. Everyone gave me perception checks. Eight.

I think we've been, is that in that one? Yes. Well, it's just a perception check. But I have plus five to perception. Plus five. It's a six. You're so scared. You are like in between the seats.

What did you get, Esther? 16. Okay. Your eyes go towards that streak of red that's flying across the sky. It's going back and forth. And that is the thing that is like causing these fires. You see that it is a giant.

red sword that is glow. You see it go out and then it comes back to a giant gauntleted hand and you look at this being and it's about seven foot tall. It has this rotting armor and with barbed wire that is like wrapped around it and this huge door-like shield. And then it catches the sword and then it throws it out again like 40 or 50 feet and then you

fall where it's throwing it at, and then you see a smaller figure running through the bushes. Olivia, would you like to describe your character? Yes. Beans is a small little tabaxi boy standing about three feet tall. Imagine if you took just a little kitty that drank too much milk and put them up on its hind legs, and that is exactly what Beans looks like, too full of milk at all time. His fur is like just the dingiest brown you've ever seen. And like it's weird because cats aren't usually just brown,

but he's just brown and he has yellow little eyes. And he just has like black like wraps around his arms and his hands. But that's it. That's all his clothes. Okay. Do you see this little cat guy running for his freaking life away from this giant, a demonic knight that is running after him? What do you do?

Gilbo? Yeah, what's up? I think there's someone down there that we should help. Listen, y'all, I got a tight schedule that I need to keep, so I don't know if we can just make any detour. Screw the schedule. Can't you see what's happening? Sarah just like, Sarah agrees with me.

Gilbo, there's someone in danger. Gilbo's like, all right. And then it's like, it's a steering wheel, but it's just Sarah's like fur skin, basically. So he just kind of tugs on it to the right. as y'all bank down and start flying above this little cat that's running. Can I reach my hands out of the window? Yeah. Is it like pet plus?

Yes. Like, you know. Sarah, Sarah, like, opens up her, like, little windows and you can reach out for beans. Okay, I have both my hands out reaching for this little cat. Beans is running as fast as little legs can carry him. He goes, yes, yes, I'll take him. Yes, come here.

The sword flies in between your hands and then it like causes a fire like all the way up ahead and then it flies back in between y'all's hands. Whoa! You guys, so you like grab onto each other? Yeah. Okay, you pull beans into Sarah and y'all start flying away and you immediately pull up and away from this figure. And as you guys look back, you see the sun touches this. giant creature and it like is staring up at Sarah and you guys and it just like dissolves into dust as the sun touches it. Y'all are all on this bus now. So that just happened.

Moran stands up from between the seats and goes, what just happened? Beans. Beans is going to stand up, dust himself off and be like, thank, thank you for grabbing me. And then look, He looks at his pocket. No, he doesn't. He doesn't have a pocket. He doesn't have a pocket. In his fur pocket that he has. He pulls out a little journal and looks at it and is like, okay.

And then puts it back and he goes, Hello, my name Beans. What is? Hello. Hi, I'm Sawyer. Hello, Sawyer. What? Everybody else's name?

I'm Morgan. Morgan. Yes. Esta. Thank you. Esther. Thank you for your hands are very soft. It's wonderful to grab.

Yeah, that was a good hustle, Alesta. Thank you. I'm still not quite sure what happened, but that's okay. Well, we got a new, long story short, we got a new passenger. Our first heroic moment, I think, of the year, of our Frogmont career? Oh, that guy? Oh, yeah. I could have taken that guy. Yeah, who was that guy?

As you say, like, I could have taken that guy and who was that guy. Give me perception checks. One. That's a nod. Four, twelve. Um, okay, you guys keep flying. And I'll make a roll. Okay.

Uh, just as Gilbo says, uh, hang on. This like blast hits Sarah. And Sarah, like, lets out of Yelp. And, um, you guys can now see there's like, y'all, y'all have been flying like in in between these hills. and in the shadows of one of the hills the giant knight is standing the barbed wire knight is standing there

with his sword and he catches it back again and Gilbo's like, oh we gotta get the, we gotta get out of dowd. Okay, okay, maybe Beans was over exaggerating a bit. That guy was a little bit of trouble. You said, you can take him, you can take him right? Maybe he should get off Sarah and take care of them.

I was maybe hyperbalizing. What? Stop saying those big words at me. Over exaggerating. I'm sorry, didn't get your name. Gilbo. Gilbo, hello. And this is Sarah, and he pats just around him. Beans takes in the fact that Sarah is part the cat and is like, I felt really, this is a bit of conflict of interest, but I'm just going to pretend it's not happening, just like a lot of things anyway.

We, I don't know, you guys fighters, what training you have all your life, yeah? get jolted again as Sarah gets hit with another blast. And you guys are flying pretty high in the sky right now. And Gilbo looked at you guys and he's like, I don't know how much more Sarah can take. We got to get out of here. Can y'all throw something at her or throw out that guy or something? Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I say, uh, yeah, beans. You could say I've been training my whole life. Then I say to Gilbo, okay, Gilbo, when I say the word, turn sideways and dump us out. Wait, what? Whoa, whoa, whoa. Beans just got off ground. I don't know if Beans was going to make him.

He's like, I can't let you all out near that guy. He looks way too powerful. Well, what if we trick him? Sarah, does she have stealth mode? Sarah, do you have stealth mode? Y'all get, somebody give me a luck check. Fuck it. Doesn't matter.

Beans will do it. It's a nine. Okay. Sorry, everyone. Sarah gets hit one more time with the sword. and Gilbo stands up and is like, I gotta get y'all out of here. It's my duty to take care of y'all

and get y'all from point A to point B. We're gonna land over there at that little building and you guys see a building on the top of a hill that's covered in the sun already. It's not like there's gonna be no more shadows on it as the sun is coming up. And he goes, and then I'm gonna drop you off and then Sarah and I will distract this guy.

How's that sound? But what's about Sarah? We need a ride. Sarah's already taken a few hits. I think we can take this. guy. You train whole life? Yeah. Esta train whole life? Yes. Oregon train whole life? Yeah, sure. If we're talking Arcadal Ball, I basically popped out of the womb. Gilbo grabs beans and says, I'll distract them, make it to the coast, find Laurelis village,

and then he shouts, all right, Sarah, we got to go. And then Sarah tucks in her wings and fly straight down towards this building and flings you guys out in front of this building and then flies up and away from you. Beans rolls way to wait. And that was like all of you. You guys are all out of there. You guys tuck and roll out of this owl cat bus and you guys see Sarah and Gilbo flying off into the distance and you see the sword being thrown at them and then coming back and then being thrown at them again and then coming back. Okay, Wugs, let's hustle. If we make it to Lorley Village in time, we get to...

I'm going to be honest. I don't think there will be much to help when we... You know what? Great idea. Yes, let's go. We're just going to leave him to die? What do you know about this person? Not, listen.

Not much. But Beans knows not good. Sent by not good people. Beans is... Never mind. Let's go. Beans just takes off. Okay.

Give me, give me like a survival check, everyone. 13. 19. Five. Okay. So you got like a 22, then. Okay. You guys don't know where Lorelei Village is.

Oh shit. But Morrigan remembered that it's on the coast. Okay. You guys are in front of this tiny hut and surrounded by forest. Baines is just running. I don't think it's quite towards the coast, but not quite towards the forest. It's a little in between the two. There was nobody in the hut?

You guys have not. You tell me. I have said that there's a hut. I've said that there's a hut and nothing around three times. You guys have not gave me an investigation. There's probably someone who can help us in the hut. Oh. Beans runs all the way back and go,

Oh, that's good idea. Okay. You guys walk towards this hut. As you get closer, you can kind of hear music coming from within and talking, especially like loud, laughing as y'all walk towards this hut. And as you get closer, you see that it's actually an inn in a tavern called the howling goose. What do y'all do? I walk straight in.

Yeah, I was going to say, more. and says, oh, music and sprints. Okay. You burst open into this tavern, and you see that there are quite a few people inside. It's really early morning, so there's a couple adventurers, like, quietly eating their breakfast. There is a dragon-born barmaid who's behind the bar, and she looks like she's cooking up something. And then the loud voices that you hear are these three big barbarians who are in the middle at this table. There's a ton of empty flagons around them. they have a bag that's at their feet.

They look like they've been up all night, just kind of causing a ruckus. And it looks also like, give me an insight check. Critical failure. Three. Okay. So you notice that everyone kind of looks sick of these barbarians in the middle,

and the barmaid shoots y'all a look as y'all walk in. The biggest barbarian guy, he's in the middle of shouting like, I, oh, lizard lady, where's our food? And then he notices you guys, and he's like, oh, get these nice young ladies, whatever they want. All nice. And then he throws, like, some gold pieces into this, like,

flag in that already has some other gold in it, and there's, like, leftover ale. I make a wide berth around these barbarians, walk straight up to the dragon-born barmaid, and I say, Hello, we're looking for Lorelei Village. We're meant to go to Frogmont. We are completely lost.

We ran into some trouble, and we just need some directions getting to Lorelei Village. Yeah, well, I wish I could tell you where Lorelei Village is, but that village has been hidden for about 100 years. Morgan runs right up to the barbarians and goes, hey, yo, you pay in? It picks up your glass of mail. The biggest one, like, turns and slowly looks at you with, like, the mean look. Well, that's happening. Can beans look at the bag? Right?

You said there's a bag. Yeah, give me an investigation check. Yeah. Can you like do it stealthily? Yeah. Yeah. Give me a self-check. 11.

Okay. I'm going to roll for them. They also got 11. Minus 1. They're not very perceptive. They're not very wise. You can investigate. So you aren't seen.

Give me an investigation check. Nice. 11. You feel it's like pretty protected bag that they're keeping away from everyone else. It's like cinched up. If you want to investigate some more, I can say, but you're going to have to give me another stealth check. I'm going to keep them occupied while Bean says looking through the bags and be like, hey, yo, so you said you're paying for one round, right? So like, does that round start now?

I'll say you can roll with advantage. Dirty 20. Okay. You can tell. Actually, let me just make sure. Okay, they got a 16 minus 1, 15. So you can tell that this bag is like moving slowly. And with a dirty 20, you can kind of hear like a... Oh my God. And then they look to you, Morgan. They're like, yeah, we should have some food coming over.

And they look at the Dragonborn, who is like finishing up their food and bringing it over. I'm going to go up to Morgan and kind of like drag your arm. and be like, hey, I don't think you should be drinking that. Morgon's like, no, no, no, I got this. And then she's like, hey, yo, buddies, after we get some food in you, can we ask some questions? Can beans unscincts? What kind of questions?

And then what? Can beans uncinch the bag? Give me a stealth check. I'll say not advantage on this time. 17. They got a nine. You can start, like, uncinching the bag. It's like tightened very tightly.

Like they clearly don't want what's getting out of this bag to get out. You give you a slight of hand check. Can I like, is there anything I could roll the sense? Because these guys seem like bad news. So is it probably something in this bag is not bad. Like can I do any insight? I don't know. Is there anything?

Yeah, sure. Give you an insight check. On the lump in the bag. Yes, I'd like to do an inside check of the lump. 18. What's that lump thinking? What are the vibes? going to say this. These are very rude men who are being super mean to this dragon born lady.

And clearly, like, all of the bar, like the end, the tavern, like, hate these guys. Probably because they've been loud all night. But these aren't good guys. And in the bag, if he's protecting it, you would assume that it's something that is they want to keep or they don't want to. be out against them. So maybe the enemy of my enemy is my friend or... So to open it, did you say sleight of hand? Or could I like muscle it open? I'll say slide of hand. Get in there. Oh.

It's a nine. Okay, you start fiddling with this thing. I'm going to say, give me another stealth check with disadvantage. Can I start talking to them? He's been down there for a while. Seven. You feel this big, meaty hand. on your head.

What are you doing now there? Mew. Whose cat is this? Mew! That's mine. I'm so sorry. He holds you up and he shakes you around a little bit. I very quickly run over and I pick him up in the armpits.

You take beans away and... Good trick, yes? There is this... One of the barbarians is like, He was trying to look at our bag there. I would like to use the message cantrip. Yeah. So stealthily, I'm going to point my finger at the one all the way on the left,

and I'm going to say... Since it's, like, not a spell that alters their minds, and it's not like a charm or something like that, it just sounds like somebody whispered it to them. Yeah. Yeah. So give me a deception with disadvantage. The first one was an eight

And the second one was a 15 So it's an eight He looks over at the guy next to him He's like Eric Did you take my gold? And then Eric is going to be like

No And he's going to be like Oh Who said that Who told me that So I took my gold Sawyer is still like Dragging on Moore's arm

And it's like Stranger Danger Didn't your parents ever tell you about Stranger Danger Meow. Nope. Good cat impression beans.

Meow. I swear you need to get out of here. Wait, no, you need to get out of here. I got a plant. Do you want to see what's in the bag? Meow. You see he like reaches down for the bag and then as he like straightens up, he like draws his sword. So it looks like he was going for the bag and they go,

I tricked ya. Me, yeah. Can I sneakily throw a sleeping dart? Oh. I'm going to say you can do this with a surprise round, and if they notice it, we're going to start an initiative, and it's going to be bad. You want to start an initiative, right?

No, I feel like I've already made it as a single to follow through. Yeah, roll to attack first. Oh, my God. I think it will. Okay, now roll the stealth or slide a hand. It's a dirty 20. Awesome. But it's a 20.

You throw this dart and it like slams against a wooden wall and like nobody notices. Everyone just kind of continues about their drinking. So we're not going to enter initiative yet because nothing has happened. But these guys are standing over this bag that beans heard a whimper and felt it move. But the rest of us did not. Are they hear that correct? Yeah. Whoa, you guys seem awfully protective of that bag.

Well, it's our stuff. Wouldn't we want to protect our stuff? Oh, you want me to take your sword from you? No, you better back off. You already grabbed my friend, and that was over the line. Yeah, exactly. So don't grab my bag. I didn't.

Why are you raising your hand over there? Gentlemen, you seem like very, very experienced adventurers. Yeah. We are trying to make our way to Frogmont, and we ran into a bit of trouble on our owlcat bus and have been dumped here in the middle of the forest. If you would be so kind, we will stop touching your back. I don't mind.

Thank you. What is in there? I apologize. I apologize for my friends in impoliteness. Yeah. Very impolite. Yes. I'm very sorry about my cat.

He's a little frisky. Bad kitty. And he points a meaty finger at you. Yes, bad kitty. Hey, he's hissing at me. I was wondering, since you seem like very experienced adventurers, if you would be able to help us get to Lorelei Village, or at least close to where anyone thinks it might be.

We've heard it's hidden. but we need to get there in order to get to Frogmont. I have no idea what that is. Everyone give me insight checks. Two. Six. 16. 13.

You two notice that he just lied. Like, you guys kind of notice the guys behind him shift uneasily. And not very good adventurer if you don't know where Rurali village is. Yeah, you don't know where it is either. I can tell that you the blank. He's talking now. I don't know what you're talking about. Me?

He's talking about. Sir, I believe you do know. Well, even if I did, why would I tell you? It's a bit stretch. You know what? You're right. And then he takes a second and he goes, go to the coast and just walk along the coast.

Which way? You'll find it. That seems very... To the left of the sun whenever it's going up. Thank you very much, sir. This has been very, very helpful. Ain't no problem. I grab everyone's...

hands. He drag us out of his tavern. He like kicks the bag and like a little like, uh-huh. Um, and she goes, you have an animal in there. Uh,

he's like, he's like, might as well, but he's like, it's not an animal. You guys all heard that, right? Can I do perception check?

Sorry. Yeah, sure. You can give me perception check. To see if it's an animal. Or like an insight, had whatever. Yeah, it's 10.

10? Uh, you don't know. I'll say that beans told you that he heard something moving in there. Something whimpered. It moved. Alive, yes. Animal, aren't we all animals?

That's what Beans likes to say. Esta. Esta. So real beans. Esther, look at me. Find it in your heart. We have to help the small thing in bag. What if it was me in bag?

What if that big thing out there put me in the bag and then came and drank at the tavern? Yeah, it's the right thing to do to help them. Just before we leave, how much are you being paid to deliver that, whatever is in that bag, to wherever you are taking it? Give me a persuasion check. 16. You know about upwards of 10,000 gold? Do we have it, right? What do you?

Now let her go. These earrings could get each of you 10,000 gold. Good deal, I think. Give me a luck check to see how valuable. they are. There's a two. Give me a deception. And like the DC's going to be higher because they are cheap.

It's 11. Okay. The one of like this like the scrawny or the scroniest of the Barbians like runs up to you and like grabs the earrings and is like, these weren't worth 500 gold a piece. And then he drops him on the floor in front of you. What are you a praiser now but your adventurer? I'm experienced. What the hell does that?

Actually he has a different one. He goes, I'm experienced. Well, when you put it that way, I don't think so. What are you? Just a little cat. Hey, he's talking. They yell. No, you're talking.

Yeah, he's talking. Yeah. They're hearing things. Well, all right. You all are what's in the big. I've been asking a lot of questions, and we could just silence you right here. Can I start a riot? Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Bean says, no. Oh, right. He gets like really serious. And he bends down to look at the cat, Beans, who has been talking or meowing. All right. You leave right now or I take her head off. And then he points at Sawyer. You know, big ugly looking motherfucker.

Oh. Beans doesn't like when you threaten Beans's friends. And Beans is going to enter a rage. Oh. And his little eyes are going to fill with the fire of a... He goes to swing at Sawyer. And you can look at my thing. And the mic caught it.

I rolled a Nat 20. To take a swing, as you called him, an ugly motherfucker to his face. So I'm going to roll this damage real quick. And then we're going to roll initiative. So y'all can roll initiative right now if you want. Okay. He rolled really low in his damage. He only got like three.

Okay. I know you could take it. I got a six. 16. Nat 20. Okay. All right. So he takes this swing at Sawyer and like nixed you on the shoulder. You're going to have to swing harder than that to take me down.

All right, I will. That is spare it. Estha, you go first. Immediate magic missile. Okay. 12 damage. Nice. What do your missiles look like? One at each dude. So Esta, immediately as soon as this guy swings, reaches her hands out and three strikes of lightning hit each of these barbarians.

Cool. Hell yeah. Okay. That is going to be Beans. Beans is going to turn to the tavern around him and say, Aren't you all sick of these big bullies, everyone? That is whimpering and doesn't deserve to be in the bag, I'm sure. Aren't you all going to help us?

Give me a persuasion check. Something I am not this persuasive. So you probably have to do what I say. I think. I'm going to say this is how this is going to work. To get a room of people to just fight a group of like big burly men, we're going to say that this is like a two check thing. So you pass on this first check.

People start standing up and they look like they want to fight. Great. Then I'll go, I will lead by example. I'll say that was an action. Do you have a bonus action? No, because I don't think I get my key points until I'm level two. Okay. That is Beans' turn.

Morgan. I like to imagine that Bean says, I'll lead by example. And then it's just standing there. Yeah. He's got his claws out. So as Bean says, I will lead by example. Morgan takes out two daggers and just throws them at the two guys closest. Okay.

Make attack rolls. You can take a 16 or a 15. I think you can only throw one. Yeah, because I have two arms. I have one of my bones. We'll double check that, but sure. It's a bonus action to weapon fighting. Okay, we'll count it.

I'll look into the rules later. Okay, 15 into 16? Yeah. Okay, that's going to hit, do your damage. Score. That is good, good example. You see one of the people who's in the bar who you convinced was like, yeah. You look like you have some frustration.

to get out. He looks around and looks around him and he goes, point at himself, me? Yes. Meow? I mean, sorry. Yes. It's a very confusing little cat.

Okay, that's going to be one of the barbarians' turns. He's going to take a swing at Esta who did the most damage to him. It's a four he misses. That's his whole turn. One of the other barbarians is going to go. He got a 19, and he's also going to swing at Esta. That is six points of damage. Are you dead now?

Squishy. Uh, and now Sawyer. I watch Esta take that hit, and I'm going to, um, cast pep talk, which is just healing word. Um, so you get one D4 plus three. And I'm like, hey, don't let him knock you down like that. You get right back up. You get back on the... Then I'm also going to reach my hand behind my back, pull out the sword handle that's been sitting

kind of behind my shoulder. When I draw it, instead of having the appearance of a... normal great sword. The blade of it is a baseball bat or an arcana ball bat. Sawyer's going to swing up behind her shoulder just like a player at bat and she's going to slam it into the guy that hit her. Nice. Wow. Okay. Roll to hit. That's going to be a 15 to hit. That hits. They just take damage. Also, why would you ask that? Episode one. Stop. I got to walk these guys. Hey, stop talking about things you should do. 12 points of damage.

So she's going to swing the bat up and slam it into his gut. You totally knock him down almost, like not all the way, but like you fucking crack his skull and he is looking very bloodied. Another good example. Is that your turn? Yes. Okay, Esther. Did you heal?

Yeah. Yeah. That is well with crazy sword you have there. Thanks. I made it myself. I'm going to use the cantrip. As I can see. Firebolt. And I'm going to, I'm going to take down the guy that Lily was hitting, was looking rough.

So I'm just going to hit him. I'm going to hit him with Firebolt. I'll put one. 24. Yeah, that hits. Believe it or not. Eight damage. You blast that guy away.

How do you do it? I'm just sort of like reaching my hands out. And I, this one hand just sort of becomes in great. engulfed in electrical energy and I release it at this guy's face. Hell yeah. You get the sense that these guys were going to kill y'all. Do you want to kill this guy? Yeah.

Okay. How do you like, how does he die? He dies barking and convulsing electrical energy. Failing on the floor. Flailing on the floor. Okay. It's like you've been tased, you know. To death.

Okay, with that horrifying beans is now your turn. Am I allowed to also like roll intimidation with that? Yeah, yeah, I'll say you go. Because I want to, like that's kind of like their leader that just died. Yeah, I mean like it was horrifying. Yeah. By doing it, I want to intimidate the other two guys. Give me intimidation with advantage.

Okay. 18. 18. Okay, you guys, you see these two guys piss themselves. and they're like, well, we gotta get out of here, a whole new voice for them. And then they start running back

and then one of them reaches for the bag. And then he just, he just like looks at you guys and like, drop it. He looks at all of you, what is you gonna say, Beans? Beans is gonna look at them and be like, if you want to make it that up here a line

and not pretty far-eyed like your little friend over there, I'd put back down. And then I'd get that up here. The guy drops the bag. And then they run out of the tavern. Queens gives a little wave. I say, wow, the first day of school has been shocking to say the least.

You guys. Is that joke? You could say that. You guys have defeated these barbarians and the whole tavern is like, hooray! Got their chance to jump in, but next time, everyone. We couldn't have done it without the fans. We love you guys.

Woo! Go. We're going to spinning in a circle with our hands raised above her hair. Like so excited. The dragon boy brings you all over some food and there's just a bag on the floor now. Oh yeah. We should probably help out the lump in there. Yes.

Beans opens bag. Okay. You, after you take like your little scimitar or a claw and you like shink open the bag. Hello lump. And out of this bag, you see this small fish-like, mixed with a shark little boy. He's got this, like, kind of blue on the outside and, like, his underbelly and underneath his arms is white. And he's like, oh, hello. And with that, we will end the first episode.

What? That was good. Second little guy of the day collected. No, another little guy. He said, what if that had been me in that bag? It means that could have been you. No. One day I will be in bag.

We all know. So yeah, you'll have this little fish guy with y'all, at least, and you guys got to figure out what to do with him. It's better than I could have imagined. Thank you for listening to Gals and Goblins. Rate the podcast on whatever it is. Spotify, Apple Music. I don't know what we're going to put this on. I'm rating this a three out of ten if you're asking me.

If you do that, then I'm not going to read your review because if you give us a five stars, then I'm going to read the review at the end of the podcast. Oh, and then I'm going to read it too, but in Beans' voice. Okay, yeah. You can read it in Beans' voice. And then follow us on our Discord or like join our Discord. And Instagram and TikTok. Yeah, look at the description.

Okay, and about that. Do you. To listen to the next exciting episode, you can click on the link in the description, or search for Gals and Goblins wherever you get your podcast. or you can find more information at rusty quill.com. Thanks for listening. Hi, Alex here, founder and CEO of Rusty Quill Limited. In case you haven't heard, there is now a Magnus Archives novel.

The Library of Yergen Leitner is set in the world of the Magnus Archives and written by Nebula Award-winning author, Premier Mohammed, with our very own Jonathan Sims. The story follows Hugh, a university dropout, desperate to find somewhere to belong and his new job at an esoteric library. The books he must investigate for the enigmatic Juergen Lightner are, not normal, because the library is not a vault, sealed and silent, but a hive, alive, buzzing, and ready to sting. The Library of Juergen Lightner releases October 27th, 2026, but you can pre-order

it right now in the US and UK from your local bookshop, or by using the link in the episode description. If you live outside of the UK or US, you may be able to make an international order for this first publication, but it depends on individual retailers' shipping policies.