The Magnus Archives - RQ Network Feed Drop – The Critshow – The Halifax Theartre (S1,E1)

Episode Date: October 19, 2026

We are sharing an episode from one of the brilliant podcasts on the RQ Network, The Critshow. The Critshow is an actual play podcast featuring Monster of the Week adventures filled with Humor, Horror and Heart and Powered by the Apocalypse systems all within the same dimension hopping narrative. This is the very first episode of The Critshows first season “Other side of the coin” where the Keeper Rev will introduce you to their heroes Jake, Tass and TJ as they accept a mission from the Indianapolis Paranormal Taskforce. They battle with light switches and rigging rope as something devious lurks in the shadows… Introduction and Outro by Helen GouldYou can listen to the next exciting episode of The Critshow by clicking on this link, or by searching for The Critshow wherever you find podcasts, on the Rusty Quill website and at www.Thecritshowpodcast.comThis episode of The Critshow featured Jake as the Divine, Tass as the Professional, TJ as the Mundane, and Rev as The Keeper. The Critshow is edited and produced by Brandon (Rev) Wentz with music by Jake Pierle Content Warnings:Descriptions of: Accidental Death/Fall, Darkness, Minor injury and paranormal monsters. For ad-free episodes, bonus content and more, join members.rustyquill.com or our Patreon.Pre-order FROM THE LIBRARY OF JURGEN LEITNER, a Magnus novel releasing October 27th: rustyquill.com/novel Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hi folks, Shahan here, and today I'm here to tell you about From the Library of Yergen Lightner, an upcoming The Magnus Archives novel, releasing this October 27th. From the Library of Yergen Lightner is the first in a multi-book deal between Rusty Quill and Random Houseworlds. The book explores an infamous organization from the Magnus Verse for the first time, the perilous private library of the enigmatic collector, Jürgen Lightner, where occult books are guarded and researched at a fatal cost. This novel, which is set before the events in the podcast, is written by the creator of the Magnus Archives, Jonathan Sims, and Nebula award-winning author Pramie Muhammad. In the winding, perilous halls of Yergen Lightner's library, you never know what you'll find.

A starving cookbook. A cloth-bound hardback that compels you to dig, dig, dig. These books aren't more than simply unnerving. They're deadly. But the library keeps their dangers in check, and there would be readers safe. Also Leitner claims. For two of his employees, the risks are worth it. But will Hugh Franklin and Sebastian Everett find a way out, or will the library consume them before it's too late? Step into a library where the lights are low and the pages bite.

You can pre-order your copy of From the Library of Yergen Lightner now at www. RustyQuil.com forward slash novel. Or go to the link in the description of this episode. Hi everyone. Helen here, the voice of Azu on Rusty Quill Gaming. Today, we're sharing an episode from one of the brilliant podcasts on the RQ network, The Crit Show. The Crit Show is an actual play podcast featuring Monster of the Week adventures filled with humour, horror and heart, using powered by the apocalypse systems all within the same dimension hopping narrative. This is the very first episode of the Crit Show's first season, other side of the coin,

where the keeper, Rev, will introduce you to their heroes Jake, Tass and T.J. as they accept a mission from the Indianapolis Paranormal Task Force. They battle with light switches and rigging rope as something devious lurks in the shadows. To listen to the rest of the Crit Show, you can click the link in the description, search for The Crit Show, wherever you get your podcasts, or check out thecritshowpodcast.com or RustyQuirl.com for more information. Have fun and enjoy the episode. Well, hello and welcome to the very first episode.

episode of The Crit Show. This is an actual play podcast of a tabletop RPG, and if you're unfamiliar with this type of podcast, then all those words I just said are most likely gibberish. If you've never played a tabletop RPG before, the quick and dirty version of it is that you have a group of people at a table telling an interactive story. One of them is the game master or GM. They act as a storyteller or a narrator for the game world, while the other players, or PCs, at the table control only one character each. Now what separates an RPG from an interactive story, is that instead of just saying what they want to do, the PCs rolled dice after they declare an action, and the results dictate how well or poorly their character did in the story the GM is telling

alters from there. When prepping this podcast, we played four or five different games with different people as GM and ultimately landed on Monster of the Week for our first game. Monster of the Week is pretty user-friendly for both the players and for someone listening in at home. Now later, I'm sure we'll play other games, but for now, we'll follow in the footsteps of Buffy and the Winchester Brothers and Ashley Williams. Okay, that's enough out of me. Enjoy episode one, and welcome to the Crit Show. Hello, and welcome to the Crit Show.

My name is Brandon Wence, but please call me Rev. Around the table we have... Hi, I'm Tass. I'm Jake, and I'm Tej. This is an actual play podcast where we play Monster of the Week. But our little twist on this is that one night we were at C2E2, who we hope will sponsor us one day just by us saying their name. Just for that.

Just for that. That's all it takes. right? Yeah, I think so. Oh, I'll actually be right back. There's somebody knocking at the door. I assume it's that. Oh, it's the C2E2 guy. All right. Sponsored. All right. But one night talking about playing this game and the idea came across that what if they played as themselves. And we talked about it a little bit and realized that there were a couple of playbooks in this game that with just a couple minor changes to their normal everyday lives could be feasible. So we are playing through Monster of the Week. I am the keeper. And these guys are actually playing themselves in what

we'll call the other side of the coin universe. Monster of the Week is a powered by the apocalypse game, which means that they have two six-sided die, and they'll roll those dice to figure out if they are successful. A 10 to 12 is a really good success. A 7 to 9 is a moderate success, and then a 6-and-under is not good for them. So why don't you guys tell me a little bit about who you are and what you do?

Absolutely. So I am playing what's called the professional. What I'm modeling that after is that I, in real life, work at a theater, a live play, you know, live action theater. I work in a ticket office. So for this, what I have adapted is the playbook called, again, the professional. What they are is they work for kind of a monster hunting organization. So they're tasked with hunting down paranormal activities in any given area and, you know,

taking care of business, whether that's killing the monster or stopping the ghost or finding the werewolves whereabouts, whatever it might be. That's kind of what they do. for our purposes, we're saying in this other side of the coin universe, I love that, by the way, that the theater at which I work is a cover for this monster hunting agency. The theater's called the Indiana Players Theater, or IPT, for short, but what that actually stands for is the Indiana paranormal task force by, well, by day and by night, I guess, both in both cases.

I mean, because monster hunting doesn't really have hours. No, it does not. As the professional, what are some things you can do? Really, their whole shtick is acting under pressure, which is kind of one of the major moves that anybody can do, but they're especially good at it, whether that's dealing with combat situations, helping out buddies that are in danger, helping civilians that are in danger. They can slide in, take care of business, and get out, whatever that is. Jake, yeah?

Tell us about who you are and what you do. Like me, me? Like my, like me outside of the playbook? I don't know. Do you do anything interesting outside of the playbook? No. So I'm playing the divine. The divine is basically angel empowered or like god powered.

The schick here is that at some point I was working on a Thor costume. And then all of a sudden my Mjolnir was very real and heavy because one of the weapons that I get to pick from for this playbook was a thunderhammer. And that sounded pretty sick to me. So I have been given powers by the Norse gods. So I am pretty tough, which helps me fight bad things. I can smite things. I can lay on hands. I can soothe.

So if I just talk to somebody gently, then they're supposed to chill out. Kind of like real life. Yeah. Listen to that silky voice. And then I'll get some more angel-y things. As we go along, I can get straight up wings.

I can... But not wings that let you fly, right? You're just kind of like an ostrich. Yeah, I have two wings that are about the size of like a chicken wing. Oh, good. But they're on my full-sized body. And they just flap

uncomfortably. Like, I don't have control over that. He's like angel from X-Men. Oh, God, when he gets it. After he gets them cut off. Yeah. I just got little stumps. He's got wings, but they're barbecue boneless on his back. And they're on my back. I'm hungry, so I'm going to grab them. What about you, T.J., what do you do? I am the mundane. And also, the player character that I'm playing is also called the mundane. Oh. Yeah. Pity points. Anyway, my character is basically the everyday sort of guy. Like, I guess you kind of compare it to Zander in Buffy the Vampire Slayer, where he just kind of shows up and causes a little bit of ruckus every once in a while, but he also helps out as well. So I have some powers that allow me to go off on my own.

And whenever I do that, I get experience or I can do investigation that way. And then I just am somewhat more lucky. Like the accidental hero. Yeah, basically. I like it. And I think the important thing to point out is that T.J. is different than NPCs that the players might encounter because the NPCs are truly mundane, but TJ is still a monster hunter. He's not just an everyday average guy. He still can do things that normal people can't.

Yeah, it's almost like my luck is just a little bit better than most people. So that helps me to get around things, I think. Your Jar Jar Jar Binks. I was going to say like a poor man's long shot. Oh, yeah, that's a lot better. Yeah, right? Nobody wants to be Jar J.Jar Binks. No. So in the playbooks, there are also the player histories. You pick a history that goes with each of the other players at the table. This was a little easier since you guys are actually kind of playing yourselves, but at least let's go through them and talk about what ones you picked for each other. My history with TJ is that I'm supposed to protect him. So whatever gave me my powers, part of the duties therein was, hey, TJ is really important to something that's going to happen. So here are these powers,

keep him safe. And so that is my history with him is, I basically told him, quote, you have a crucial role in what is to come. I am here to guide and defend you, end quote. When you said that, were they your own words or were you kind of moving like a puppet, like something was just like, You are crucial in something that is to come. I think that that is what flashed in my head when I got my powers, and I just recited it verbatim to him.

Your deity was just whispering into your ear. It was like, TJ is crucial in the events to come. But mine was just more like, TJ is crucial in the events to come, period. I am here to protect and defend you, period. And you were saying it over like a paper plate full of pizza. Oh, yeah. I brought it up just real casual while we were hanging out.

Oh, hey, kind of related. I have God powers and you're really important. Can you pass me another slice, please? What? And then my history with Tass is, they are at heart a good and righteous person. You must help them stay that way, which I feel like is essentially just real life

so it made sense to pick it in the game. Yeah, I think we need to make a decision on mine here, because mine with Jake is that we have worked together unofficially in the past successfully. So in some way, clearly I know that you have those abilities, and we've done something successfully with them. How about this? We were hanging out and we were walking somewhere, and there was a cat stuck in a tree, and I was like, oh, hold on. And I smashed that tree to bits with a hammer, and I got the cat out and high-fived you at the end. I caught the cat. Okay, I hit the tree repeatedly and shook the cat loose and you caught the cat.

And then we high-fived and we kept the cat. What is our cat's name? I hate every part of this canon. And what about you and T.J.? We were friends back in training before I was a part of the agency and before I was recruited. And this could be any number of things, which this is kind of part of our real life. We went to college together, acted together, had all sorts of on and off stage shenanigans, including lots of martial arts training and several other things.

So, yeah, we've really worked together a lot. Yeah, we're good friends from way back. I obviously don't really know too much about the IPT. I'm not asking you to collaborate his story. Oh, well. I didn't think he was lying. I basically said we're good friends. Tell them if it's from way back or recently, and I said they were from way back.

That's all they said it. Literally all it is. And I was trying to expound on that a little bit. I'm so uninterested in your guys' friendship, though. That's almost as bad. the throat is you guys wanting a joint cat. Did you hear that? He said, almost.

And then Jake introduced me to the existence of monsters, and it says, tell them how you feel about that, Jake. Yes. I feel good about this. Okay, good. I genuinely didn't know which direction I was going to go. And I genuinely feel good about this monster hunting for the fact that if this actually happened in my life, I'd be totally on board with it because my life is so goddamn boring.

So goddamn boring. Yeah, mine too. Tas, it's been a few days after you have been given the go-ahead to join the IPT, the actual IPT, not the one where you sell tickets to noises off. Right. And you get a phone call in the morning. It's Margaret. And she says, we've got a little problem. I need you to go check out a theater.

We're thinking about buying it. And, well, we were buying it because it's got a history of supernatural problems. Well, we had to make it look like we were looking at it for the theater. And so we sent it a couple of designers to check the space. see if it would work, and the lighting designer was killed. Oh my God, how? He fell onto the stage. It seemed like off of a ladder and just broke his neck. So we're assuming that's not an accident. Well, I mean, he was not known to be clumsy. He was very good at what he did. I can imagine someone who spends 50% of their time on a ladder while doing light hangs and stuff like that would just fall off

randomly. Okay. I mean, I can go check it out, get the lay of the land. Yeah, the only thing is, though, I mean, we haven't bought the place yet. So it's not going to be just open to the public during the day. So you might need to go at night, you know, jiggle, jiggle, open window, sneaky, sneaky, that kind of stuff. Yeah, that's fine. We don't have anyone that could join you. Do you know anyone who maybe could give you a hand?

I don't know if you can, can you reach the window by yourself? Do you need a boost? I could do fine on my own. Okay. Well, then go by yourself. But I've got some friends that might. It's too late. It's too late.

This is a solo mission now. No, I've got some guys. Yeah, I've got some guys. All right, good. Well, yeah, there's a little bit of a payday in it for them if they help you out. All right. What's the address? Give me all of the details, the very specific.

It's the Halifax Theater, and it's right on Drury Lane, right next to the muffin shop. So just head on down there, make sure it's dark, and, you know, sneaky, sneaky. It sounds like she's trying to get you jumped. Like, oh yeah, wait until it's night time and then, you know, just try to pick that lock. There should be a guy there wearing a yellow hat and you wink at him twice. Yeah, absolutely. So I would give a call to my buddy, I think Jake Purley. Ring.

Thank you. Hello. What's up, buddy? We would have sat here in silence for 20 minutes until that phone. I would have waited for that sound. Nothing. What's going on, pal? Okay.

So I guess I'm not sure how to... He's what? He's my pal. Okay. Can we not be pals? You guys can definitely be pals. I don't think I've ever heard you say pal, though. What is this conference call?

Get off. Am I on speakerphone? I hear TJ responding to the things I'm saying. It's very echoing and you hear me peeing into a toilet. I'm glad you clarified into a toilet. Oh, hi, Tass. What's going on? Okay.

Weird question. Your God powers thing. Yeah. Is this a thing that you're like allowed to make money using? That's an excellent question. They didn't say that I couldn't, so it's better to ask forgiveness than permission. Oh, okay. I like that. Okay, here's what's going on. So I work for an agency now that hunts monsters. Sick? I, yeah, it's kind of a long story, but that's the deal. And, you know, if you're supposed to be keeping people safe and that kind of thing, I could use your help. There is a chance. There is

something that's hurting people in town. And I'm supposed to go check it out, but I don't really have backup. And I wanted to see if, you know, maybe that was up your alley. Yeah, sure. I'd be happy to help you. I can bring TJ along. He needs the practice. Okay. He's doing okay with his stuff. Yeah, he's actually coming along really nicely. I keep losing him and then finding him. And but, well, here's the weird part, though. In that time, he has somehow figured shit out. Okay, well, I'll see that. I'll see what I feel about that when I see it. Okay. Well, yeah, we'll come help.

Where are you? I am at the theater. What the- My theater. You can, you guys can come here and then I'll lead you to where we're going. Okay. See you soon.

Click. There we go. Full circle. Is there anything you guys are doing before you leave? I am, I mean, I'm gearing up. I need my stuff.

I'm just getting out of the shower. Good. Okay, yeah, I'll go knock on the bathroom door, I guess. Yeah, what's up? Tas has a mission for us. We need to go fight evil.

Should I bring my nunchucks? I mean, like, I genuinely. I like mull it over for a second. I'm like, I don't know how to use Nunchucks. So I'm just going to have to assume you're learning that from YouTube videos. Yep. As you said earlier, I seem to figure it out. I just go off and do my own thing and I figure it out. And you just come back with skills. You watch that Bruce Lee playing ping pong with Nunchucks video like a dozen times. And I thought it was the real thing. It was so well. Okay. How are you guys getting there? My car that works pretty well. Better than my car. Better than his car. I don't know why. I thought you were lying.

This way, my car that works better than his. There is some shiftiness in your voice. I know that your car works better, but you seem untrustworthy. What's your charm? Two. All right. You know what? I believe it now.

All right. Good. So you guys arrive at the IPT. I think I'd be there waiting, ready to roll out. Okay. Oh, okay. Where are we headed? I'll explain on the way, and I'm going to lead you out to my car, which you guys have

seen several times before. It's a haggard-looking old thing. Pretty dinged up and kind of rusty and doesn't look like it's in particularly great shape. Tass you, you just want to take my car? I mean, it's just right around the block. Are you sure? I mean, it's pretty good. Nope.

Yours is just whack. Come with me and get in the car, please. Okay. And as we kind of get in, okay, so we're pretty sure that something killed a guy. We're looking at this old theater. We want to potentially take it over as a new place of operation. But one of the guys checking it out was, well, he died. It looked like an accident, but it just seems very unlikely.

So that's what we're going to go do, is essentially try to poke around, see if we find anything unnatural, deal with it if we can. Hopefully it's nothing, and it was just an accident. How'd he die? He was up on a ladder poking around, looking at some of the technical stuff up in the grids and the balconies and the, you know, high areas and just inexplicably fell. somebody that probably wouldn't have or shouldn't have. But, you know, accidents happen. So we'll see. So what do you guys do when you get there? It's probably about 11 o'clock by the time you get there. You know, you got quite a few hours before it's dark before you could sneak in unseen, hopefully. I definitely want to just watch, kind of see if there are people coming in and out, any owners of the building or people doing any renovations, anything like that at all, and see if we essentially have anybody that we're going to have to contend with that might still be in the building by the time we want to, sneak in. Yeah, throughout the course of the day, you don't see anybody. Really, IPT, we're the only

people that were interested in the space. There's no one going in and out. They know that the body has been taken away yesterday when it happened. Okay, so yeah, I think we'd just be kind of shooting the shit and watching. While we're shooting the shit, I'm like looking around in the backseat, seeing if there's any like cool stuff like in a case or anything like that, you know, a la Tim from Jurassic Park, and he finds the binoculars that are like night vision goggles or something. Oh, gosh. As you look through the pocket behind the seat and the ashtray built into the door and the pull-down sun visor above your head, things just come out.

Shotgun shells, grenades, some very long, what you can only assume are sniper bullets. Dude, you got like a lot of bullets and stuff back here. And you look back and he's literally just holding a handful of like shotgun shells and cartridges and grenades. I didn't know you did grenades and shit. I thought it was like, you know, all crosses and crossbows and holy water. Other words with cross in it. Cross fit. Hot cross buns.

Crossword puzzles. David Cross is back there. Cross stitch. There is a cross stitch back there. It says, God bless this mess. Yeah, no, dude. Like, monsters don't kill themselves. Cool.

Can I keep a grenade? No. Please. Okay, well, I'll make you a deal. Uh-huh. No. Please. Have you been watching YouTube videos about how to use grenades?

I have not. Then no. I pull up my phone and I just like start looking for. I thought you were going to say the pin. I pull out the pin. This is mine until I let it go. This is how it works, right? He's just keeping us all hostage.

Who's in charge now? I pat T.J. on the shoulder reassuringly. It's okay, buddy. You're getting there. I believe in you. But not, not yet. And I gently take the grenade away from him. And I put it back where it belongs.

In the cup holder. In the cup holder? Then I take that grenade out of the cup holder and I put it in my pocket, a grenade that isn't really a thing that I'm supposed to have. Why aren't you supposed to have it? Because that's not one of the weapons I took. Good. All right. Well, I guess you could have let him keep it then. If it wasn't, if you love it, let it free. No, I wanted that grenade. We don't let a grenade free, actually.

This is what we call a gimmie, so I took my gimmie. Yeah, that's fair. So it gets nighttime. I assume that you guys are going to go out now and attempt to get inside the Halifax Theater. Absolutely. What is the situation with like streetlights and stuff? There are streetlights on the outside. There is an alley on each side of the Halifax Theater, And you can tell that the lot behind it is condemned. What do you think, boys? I'm thinking darkness is the bed. Yeah, I say we at least check down an alley.

Maybe go all the way around the back. I don't know. We'll see what's on the sides. Sure. Let's do that. I'm going to grab a couple of things out from a little strong box under the seat. And what are those things? One is a 38 that I will holster on my hip.

And then I have a shotgun, which I'm going to slip into a sheath on my back. Anything else anyone wants to grab? Well, I've got my nunchucks. And I have my hammer. Oh, and I also have like a little mini multi-tool as well. So if I need to jimmy a lock or something. All right. So you grab your gear from the lockbox underneath your seat.

And you guys head across the street. Where are you going? What are you doing? I think we'll head for that alley. Okay. Left or right alley. Is one of them darker than the other? Is one of the alleys named Kirstie?

No. That would be the wider alley. It's not darker than the other. I refuse to acknowledge what he just said. to me. He knows how I feel about Kirstie Alley. I'm going to go down the right alley. Okay. What are you guys doing? I'm following him. Unless he specifies a different plan, I believe that he knows what he's doing, and I'm going to stick with him. And as they're both following each other, I will also go to a different alley. You're going to try to sneak away? Yeah. Why don't you roll me and act under pressure? We'll do.

Five. That's with my cool. So with a five, with act under pressure. pressure. A six and under simply states that things go to hell. As T.J. starts to peel off from you guys. You're headed down the right alley. And he cuts in front of the building to get to the left alley. We see this figure lunge out, grab him and pull him inside, unbeknownst to the two of you. I get experience for that. You do. Tell us why. Because I have a power called, don't worry, I'll check it out. And anytime I go off on my own to a scary situation, I get experience. You also get an experience just for failing the role. Because every time anybody fails a role in this game, you get an experience.

That's what I was just wondering. Did you successfully scope out the scary situation? Well, I didn't know it was scary at the time. So we'll give you the experience for failing the role. Okay. All right. That's fair. Point of interest.

I also have a power called Always the Victim, wherein if I get captured by the monster, then I mark experience as well. Oh, that's fair. Then you get two points of experience. Okay. He is like, he gets two experience points, and he gets to sit out for a half hour. It's like his dream job. He just took off his headphones.

Take it from here, boys. Layed down in the kitchen, cuddled up with a dog and went to sleep. So you guys are in the alley. I'm looking for a door. Okay. Runge you investigate a mystery. Okay. The mystery of how to get into the Halifax Theater.

Love it. Seven. So how are you looking around? Do you have a source of light? Do you have... I am using the flashlight on my iPhone. Excellent. Excellent.

This week's episode, sponsored by Apple. Oh my God, you guys are not going to believe who's at the door right now. What is the, what was your role? Seven. Seven. All right. So that gives you a hold one. Do you have a question you'd like to ask?

I want to see what's being concealed here in the way of the easiest access into the building. Great. So you see that in this alley down almost at the end where the corner would be turned to go to the back of the building. There is a door. that has been painted on to the building. It looks like kind of a piece of a scenery that they've painted on the outside, but the door is actually a door.

But you would almost miss it if you didn't see just a little protrusion of the handle sticking out. Nice. I'll try the handle. It's open. Okay, that was easier than I thought. And then I'm going to look back to my boys. Well, not boys.

Boy, you see only Jake. TJ's not there. where did he go? So I look around and I realize that TJ's gone. Yeah, he's sure not there. And I'm like, God, damn it. And then I get struck by lightning probably. Gosh, darn it.

A little shock. You want a third one on that? No, it's just going to get worse. Gee, Willickers. It's one direction of the other. Is it more G rated or is it more R rated? I don't know. I want to roll to investigate a mystery.

figure out where TJ went. Do it. That's a 7 plus sharp, which is nothing. That's a 7. All right. You get a hold 1. Where did it go? You start to track your footsteps back, just looking, I assume you grab Eric's iPhone and use the light on it too. I have my own. Oh, okay. Do you keep it near your hammer? That's real dangerous. I think that the iPhone's in my right pocket and the hammer's in my hand. So you start to track back the footsteps that you have made through this alley. You get your, phone out of your pocket and turn the light on. And you realize that as you guys came across the street, you can see pretty clearly that your footsteps go off into the right and that T.Js start to go left, but then you can see almost like his heels were drug towards the front door, but the front door is

closed. I want to try the front door. It's locked. And you guys are in the light, just in the sense of you're dressed in armor with a giant hammer. You are now in the street lights. So there's a chance of traffic coming by and seeing you or, you know, someone neighbor calling the cops. I guess go back down the alley and in the door that I know will open. Okay. And I mean, I'm just telling him, like, what I noticed. It looks like TJ got drug inside. We need to get in there as quickly as possible and figure out what happened to him.

Okay. Well, that sort of answers one thing, at least. If you said something dragged him in, that's not great. So I'm going to get my shotgun out and open that door. So you open the door and inside it's just really dark. Do you have just a regular flashlight? What's wrong? with the phone line. It's so weak. It doesn't go very far. Mine's really good. Really? Yeah. Mine's not. My

flashlight doesn't light a very good area. I got to hold it like pretty close to whatever I want to actually see detail of. I feel like all it does is give me away in the dark, which is what a flashlight does. But a flashlight at least also helps me see things. Okay. I'm going to run out to my car and I'm going to grab a mag light and come back. Thank you. You're welcome. I'll take the maglight. All right, look for lights. Look for a switch. I do that. All right. Roll to investigative mystery. The mystery of where are the lights?

I don't do that, but I do get an experience point. Oh, great. So yeah, you start to look around using the flashlight to try to find some kind of a light switch. And you step on, it sounds like a light bulb, and you hear this loud pop sound, and it kind of echoes through the theater. And all of a sudden you have the sense that it may have been audible just everywhere. Oh, darn. And I'm going to get down and see what that was. It was a light bulb. Oh, okay. Yeah, of course, there's a light bolt there on the ground. Why wouldn't there be? Yeah, if you look up, you see that there's a couple of lighting instruments, and one of them has been torn apart.

Someone had laid the pieces out to put it back together and then never got it back around to it. Lovely. Okay, let's keep moving. Yeah, I want to move in and towards the direction of the front door, where the front door would be. Okay. And are you giving up on the search for a light switch? I will look for a light switch. Okay, roll it. Oh, my God. I get experience. Great. So you're like, God, how did you step on that light bulb? Let me find the light switch. And as you do so, you trip over him as he's bent over trying to get the pieces of light bulb out of his shoe. And you hit a wall. And as you hit the wall, a door slides open that you didn't quite see. And you see a set of glowing eyes inside looking at you. Oh, shit. And I try to backpedal out. Act under pressure.

Seven. All right. Oh, eight. actually. All right, so with an eight, this is our first act under pressure that wasn't just a straight out failure. For act under pressure on a 7 to 9, you get a worse outcome, a hard choice, or a price to pay. Your worst outcome is that you don't make it out the door and you have to face whatever this is. Your hard choice is that you can make it out of the door and away from this thing, but you're going to leave Jake between you and it. Or your price to pay is that you can get both of you a couple more steps away, but you're pretty sure that this thing is going to get a swipe at you. think I just don't make it out. So you start to back up and you realize that there's not a good

clean way to get out and this set of glowing eyes moves closer to you and lunges in your direction. As it does, it appears in the light for just a brief moment and it looks like a small drag doll figure but made out of fluctuating shifting shadow. And as it lunges towards you, you see its fingers get longer and it stabs into your foot. And you realize that this thing can't be more than seven or eight inches high. It must have been up on something high when it was looking at you before. And then it pulls its hand out of your foot and starts to back up and hiss at you. You take one harm. I actually don't take that harm. Why? Because all of the agents at IPT, our outfits are retrofitted with armor underneath. How much armored? Plus one. Oh, okay. So you

You take one less harm when attacked physically. That is exactly right. All right. You see this thing? Take a few steps back from you. I'm going to hold the gun up, like not pointed at it, but like hand up and then gun pointed at the sky. Whoa, hey, you're a cool looking little dude. I mean you no harm.

We're just here to help. As you say that, you see two more sets of eyes appear in the dark room. Oh, cool. There's lots of you, cute little guys. So you hear him saying this as he's tripped over you and knocked over this door. Can I see the eyes? Yes. What are those?

I don't know. Why are you so happy about this? I'm trying to put out a positive vibe towards what I assume is a predator. As you guys are having this conversation and you're watching the eyes in the dark room, You see that they get really close to each other, and it almost looks like they combine, because the size of the eyes get a little bigger and a little higher. And then again, and now you see larger eyes standing at about two feet high. And it's just one set now? Yep.

And the hiss is a little deeper. Oh, that's a good trick. I'm going to go talk to my buddy about that trick, calmly. And I'm just going to slow. You see the eyes get lower as if it's leaning down to pounce forward. I'm going to throw my hammer at it, please. All right. Roll, kick some ass.

Oh, damn it. That is, oh man, that's a six. That was so close to at least functioning. You go to throw your hammer. What kind of damages your hammer do? It does three harm, hand stun holy. Great. You whip this hammer back to throw it, but really you're used to swinging it like a mallet.

And on the forward throw, you must have gotten some grease or something on the floor because it slips out of your hand. and lands on your head dealing you two points of damage. Okay. I am going to reduce that by one because of my armor. So I take one harm. Okay. And your hammer is on the floor next to you. This thing lunges and swipes out at you.

Ami? Yes. I don't like that. Can I protect him? No, you've just been hitting the head with your own hammer. Would you like to act under pressure to get away? Yeah. I very much like that.

Roll it. Eight. So again, an eight gives you a couple of choices. You can either not get away because you're going to block Jake from this monster. You can dive out of the way knowing that the creature will most likely hit Jake. Or you can get out of the way, but you're pretty sure that if you do, it's going to hit that stand of lights and make a whole lot more noise. So if there's anything else in this building, it's going to know you're here. I am going to start to backpedal and realize that I know I'm not going to make it and just brace for it.

All right. So this thing lunges out and it swipes at you again. And you can see that it is indeed about three times larger. It's got these large yellow eyes. And again, it's got this skin that almost kind of looks like fluctuating, pulsing shadow. And the fingernails come out and slash across your stomach and you take too harm. Oof. So I get to reduce that by one, but still.

Okay. Ow. Okay. I think that I take that hit and I kind of stagger. back and I see Jake is what on the ground now. He's bending over to pick up his hammer. I don't think I am. I don't think I would bend over to pick up my hammer. I think if I got hit in the head with the hammer and the thing went at him, I think I would just try to punch it in the face like real hard. Oh God. Do you have a damage for just your? Yeah, my smite counts. I do too harm.

Oh, I see. Unarmed. Okay. How does smite work? Tell me about it. It is just, it always counts as a weakness against the monster I'm fighting. Any attack I do against a monster counts as its weakness. And if I don't have a weapon, then I do two harm. That also still counts as a weakness. Okay. Two harm, intimate, hand, messy with unarmed attacks. Great. Roll, kick some ass. Yeah, boy. That is A10. Great. So, choose one extra effect. I think I just want to inflict terrible harm. And that does how much more? Plus one. So a total of three harm on this thing. I think that I just really, like, I see it going after my friend and I just blast this thing as hard as I can. You wind up. Your fist glows a little. little bit, and you hit it for three harm because you're doing just extra damage to it based

off of its weakness. It grabs onto your forearm, giving you two damage in return, but actually only one damage. Because of me armor. And as it's hit, it splits into two much smaller versions of itself. Uh, pick a dance partner. Okay, so I see them split, whichever one is closer to me. I'm going to level the shotgun and pull the trigger. Roll it. Okay. Oh, yeah, boy. Oh, but it is still technically a nine. Oh, no. Yeah.

And what is your shotgun's descriptive verbs? Oh, yes, the descriptors for my shotgun are three harm, close, messy. So you pull your shotgun out and you pull the trigger right in its face. It slashes out at you and does two damage, but you can see that it stops moving. and it actually starts to melt into a puddle. Oh my God, I think I got one. T.J. You're walking towards the alley and you pass the door.

And you get this weird sensation that you're being watched. And before you have the opportunity to return and see what's going on, you feel yourself being pulled into the theater. You're left inside the door, but you don't feel like you're being held anymore. You're just in this dark room. And it's completely dark? It is completely dark. I'm going to pull up, mom.

phone lights. I hope you're all keeping track of your battery percentages. 100% except whenever, you know, I use it during the day. It's at like 14%. It's probably in that car all day. So yeah, I pull out my phone light. I check my battery. It's probably about 14%.

This isn't good. So I'm going to investigate this place that I'm in. Where am I? Yeah. Roll investigate a mystery. Yeah. All right. Nice.

That would be an 11. Great. So you get hold two. Do you have two questions you'd like to ask? I do. Where did it go? The thing that drugged me into this particular part of the theater. And what's the other question you might ask?

The other question, what sort of creature is it? You start to flash the light around and you see this figure on its knees inside of the lobby of this theater, your flashlight, almost seems like the light from it's being absorbed. And you see that little puddles of this shadow are dripping off of this figure. And they're kind of popping up into these little doll shapes and running away. They have these little yellow eyes. You can see them running deeper into the theater. And with everyone that comes off, you can see more and more of the person underneath. And the shadows start to disperse entirely into a pool around this person. And the figure looks up and it's me.

And I'm breathing heavy and I am panic and I say, TJ, you have to help me. And the shadows reach up, grab me and pull me back into the darkness. And now you're in the lobby by yourself again. I'm going to try and go after you. Roll act under pressure. You're going to try to chase through the darkness. Okay. That ain't bad.

Ten. Excellent. So you do exactly what you want with a ten. You follow this trail and you can kind of hear me. me talking for just a brief second, but then it's gone, and it's just this odd growl. So as you run along, you got your phone out, still at 14%, not bad. You'll wrap this up in 13% I'm sure. You're chasing along, you've got the light up and you see this creature on hands and knees just sprinting through the theater up onto the stage, and then it leaps up into the grid. And so you're standing

amongst the seats, and you can look up and you can see this thing crawling around inside of the grid. Oh, shit, I need to get up there somehow. I'm, wait a minute, this would probably be better if my friends were with me. Damn. Okay, I'm going to look around for a way to get up to the grid. Roll, read a bad situation. That's not as good. I got a six. So you think

that the best way to do it is there's a rope hanging down the side of the stage that you can see is tied to the light grid and you think that the best option would probably be to old school gym class, climb that rope into the grid.

Okay. Oh, my God. For those of you at home, read a bad situation, lets them know the best way to do things on a six or less. Their intuitions lead them wrong. I'm going to test the rope first. Great. Tug, tug, tug.

Yeah, seems solid. Pretty solid. All right, I'm going to start to put my full body weight onto it. Yeah, it stays. Okay. I am going to die in a few minutes idea. Oh God, I'm such a fool

for doing this. You know what? I'm going to try and climb the rope. All right. Roll, act under pressure. I think you're having some panic thoughts about what it was like to be in elementary school and climbing the rope and the strange sensations it gave you. It's making you panic. No, nobody wanes for a row. I'm with you on that. I'm with you. Not Jake, though. No.

Oh. That was act under pressure, you said? Yeah. I got a 10. Excellent. So you, man, hand over hand, you got your feet pushed together. You slink your way up this rope in the darkness. Nothing seems to be a problem.

You get up there without issue. Am I in the grid? You are in the grid. Am I, like, on a, like, a platform, or is it like a gangway or something? There is a gangway, yeah. All right. So there's a series of planks laid across the bars of the grid for, technicians to walk across.

Just in case anyone out there's like, what do you mean a gangway? Is there a pirate ship up in the grid? I am going to follow the gangway. This is pretty high. You're going to make your way across. Again, it's dark. You still got your battery. It's still a good solid 14%.

Give me another act under pressure to get across this grid and essentially to the lighting booth that's at the end of the grid. Oh, okay. Oh, not good. No, not good. But man, that sweet experience. Oh, no. You're going to level up the second you hit the crowd.

What was that roll? That would be a four. You start to make your way across the grid. You feel something scuttle under one of your feet, and you pull it up to try to get away, and you topple sideways out of the grid. I'm going to try and grab for... Try to grab for purchase?

For purchase, yes. All right, roll it. Oh, God. Oh, God. It is a seven. You lift your foot and you start to fall sideways. You try to reach out to grab a hold of some of the lighting instruments or some of the pipes, anything to stop you from falling.

You realize that you're going to be able to catch yourself on the rope but get tangled in it. Or you're going to be able to just barely get a hold of one of the bars enough to change your trajectory so that you fall into the seating area, which may be a little less painful. I'm just going to go ahead and go for the rope. So you fall and you try to get a hold of the rope. And as you go down, it starts to tangle around your arms and your legs. And you find yourself jolted to a stop hanging upside down, swinging above the stage. And below you is one of these little shadowy creatures with glowing yellow eyes looking up at you curiously.

Jake. I think I'm still just punching it. Okay. Yeah, boy. 12. Great. what is your extra effect? I'm going to suffer less harm on this one.

All right. Your fist knocks it back to the ground and it starts to turn into a puddle. Hell yes. I step backwards away so that the puddle doesn't get on my shoes and I pick up my hammer. Okay, well that's new. Uh, who, what the hell? So you guys both step back and you see this little pool and this other little pool. And as you watch it, they start to move away from you.

Like the pool is just slowly dripping away. Can I like set my hammer in the pool and use the stun part of its abilities? Are you doing that? Yeah, I would like to try. I want to try and shock this shit, see if it conducts electricity. So are you setting the hammer down on it? Are you trying to hit it and stun it? I mean, I'm not, I'm not like letting go of the hammer.

I imagine like reaching out and touching the puddle with the hammer, with the head of the hammer. To do what you want to do, you've got to hit it. And if you're just setting the hammer down, I don't think that it's going to do damage or stun. You know what I mean? I guess kick some ass then. Okay. But flavor-wise, I don't want to think about it like taking a mighty swing. I want to think about it like reaching out and using, trying to shock it.

Okay. Is that fair? Sure. I just like the look in my head and snake eyes. Oh, good. I'm getting shocked, aren't I? So you gently start to poke your hammer towards this. pool and as you do you realize that you've stepped further into the dark room. Oh no. And as you touch it,

the puddle comes together and reaches up and wraps around the hammer and pulls it out of your hand and starts to slide it away. I need that. I want to try to grab it. So Jake, you lunge forward to grab hold of the hammer as it's being pulled away and you realize that as you're in the air, it's starting to move away faster and faster. You're just able to get your hand through the loop and grab hold of the handle, but it's pulling you. And Tass, you see Jake's feet vanish into the darkness and then nothing. The Crit Show is a Crit Show Studios production, edited and produced by Brandon Wince with music by Jake Pearly. You can find more information about us at thecritshowpodcast.com. To keep up to date with upcoming live shows, contests, and other special events, follow us at The Crit Show on Facebook,

Instagram, and Twitter. For even more weekly content, join us at patreon.com slash the For more of this brilliant series, you can click the link in the description, search for The Crit Show wherever you get your podcasts, or check out thecritshopodcast.com or RustyQuill.com for more information. Thanks for listening, and we hope you enjoyed it. Hi, Alex here, founder and CEO of Rusty Quill Limited. In case you haven't heard, there is now a Magnus Archives novel. The Library of Yergen Lightner is set in the world of the Magnus Archives and written by Nebula Award-winning author, Premi Muhammad, with our very own Jonathan Sims. The story follows Hugh, a university dropout, desperate to find somewhere to belong and his new job at an esoteric library. The books he must investigate for the enigmatic Juergen Leitner are not normal, because the library is not a vault, sealed and silent, but a hive, alive, buzzing and ready to sting. The Library of Jirgen Leitner releases October 27th,

2026, but you can pre-order it right now in the US and UK from your local bookshop or by using the link in the episode description. If you live outside of the UK or US, you may be able to make an international order for this first publication, but it depends on individual retailers shipping policies.