The Magnus Archives - RQ Original Feed Drop – Neon Inkwell: Broken Hearted Monsters

Episode Date: March 28, 2025

This month we are featuring a feed drop for the first episode of a brand-new show on the Neon Inkwell podcast feed: Broken Hearted Monsters.Classic horror meets joyful, bittersweet road trip dramas in this series about grief and acceptance.After Dr Frankenstein is killed by an errant bolt of lightning, his estranged creature, Frank, must travel to his former home for the funeral.Frank, not wanting to face the bitter reality of an unresolved relationship, chooses instead to use it as an excuse to plan the ultimate road trip across America and inviting his ex-boyfriend, Dracula, along for the ride.You can find the next episode of Broken Hearted Monsters on the Neon Inkwell podcast feed, on the Rusty Quill website, on Acast, or by searching “Neon Inkwell” wherever you find podcasts.Introduction and outro by Shahan Hamza.Content Notes:GriefBreakupsArguments/HostilityHarsh LanguageInnuendoSmokingMentions of: Family Estrangement, electrocutionSFX: Monster SoundsTranscripts: https://shorturl.at/pJQV7 Showrunner Elizabeth MoffattDirected by Amani ZardoeWritten by SC Ormond and Morgan OrmondProduced by April SumnerExecutive Producers Alexander J Newall & April SumnerFeaturingMarqus Bobesich as FrankKai Partenie as DraculaAsh Kelley as Angry DriverPhilomena Sherwood as Gas Station AttendantDialogue Editor – Nico VetteseSound Designer - Tessa VroomMastering Editor - Catherine Rinella and Meg McKellarMusic by Nico Vettese Art by Guerrilla CommunicationsSFX from Soundly and previously credited artistsSupport us on Patreon at https://patreon.com/rustyquill  Check out our merchandise available at https://www.redbubble.com/people/RustyQuill/shop and https://www.teepublic.com/stores/rusty-quillJoin our community:WEBSITE: rustyquill.comFACEBOOK: facebook.com/therustyquillTWITTER: @therustyquillREDDIT: reddit.com/r/RustyQuillEMAIL: [e-mail] Inkwell is a podcast distributed by Rusty Quill Ltd. and licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial Share alike 4.0 International Licence. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hi folks, Billy Hendel here, the voice of Alice in the Magnus Protocol. Today I'm here to advertise Sunrise on the Reaping, available now on audible.ca. Return to the world of the Hunger Games with Sunrise on the Reaping, a prequel exploring the backstory of Katniss' mentor, Haymitch, by bestselling author Suzanne Collins. When you've been set up to lose everything you love, what is there left to fight for? As the 50th Hunger Games begins, the districts of Panem are gripped by fear,

with twice as many tributes chosen for the quarter quell. Hamich Abanathy, torn from his home and the girl he loves, enters the deadly arena with little hope of survival, but a deep urge to fight that could change everything. Listen to this unforgettable untold story about a beloved character packed with fantasy, fierce challenges and shocking twists. Sunrise on the Reaping. Available now at audible.ca forward slash sunrise. Hi everyone, it's Shahan here. Today we are sharing the first episode of a brand new series on Rusty Quill's neon

inkwell podcast feed, Broken Hearted Monsters. Classic horror meets joyful, bittersweet road trip dramas in this series about grief and acceptance. After Dr. Frankenstein is killed by an errant bolt of lightning, his estranged creature, Frank, must travel to his former home for the funeral. Frank, not wanting to face the bitter reality of an unresolved relationship, chooses instead to use it as an excuse to plan the ultimate road trip across America and inviting his ex-boyfriend Dracula along for the ride.

The wounds from their breakup are still fresh as they make their way across country, stopping at mundane tourist traps, eating at tacky diners, and dissecting their former romance, the good and the bad. Before they reach their destination and a monstrous family reunion, Frank and Dracula have 2000 miles, 9 states and a whole lot to unpack. Broken Hearted Monsters is releasing weekly now on the Neon Inkwell podcast feed. To listen, search for Neon Inkwell wherever you listen to podcasts, click the link in the show notes or visit RustyQuill.com.

Have fun and enjoy the episode! Death and Romance. Wow. I guess 5.30 on Monday is a bad time to start a road trip. It is alright. Just put on your podcast and take deep breaths. Who needs podcasts when we've got each other? Put on the podcast. Come on, Dracula. We haven't talked in months. That is how breakups work.

Ha ha ha. Yeah, totally. So, see any good movies? Read any good books? Date any cute guys? Let us get something clear, Frank. I am here to deliver you to your evil dad's funeral, and then I am on the first plane back to LA. We are not discussing my personal life, we are not on a romantic getaway, and we are not, under any circumstances, getting back

together. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I was just making casual conversation. You are making a casual incursion into a part of my life you are banned from. Okay we are not there yet. Message received loud and clear. Personally I'm doing great. Been hitting the gym, meditating, going to therapy. You know I think you really needed this time alone to find out who Frank is. You have been going to therapy. Well I've been listening to a podcast about therapy so you know I get it okay she letting us go I do not think she's looking at us oh how am I supposed to tell she's wearing the biggest

sunglasses I've ever seen Frank don't ma'am are you letting us go? Frank, you are going to tip the car. She wasn't looking at us. Well, she is now. Everyone is. Hey, light's green, monster man. Oh, is the light green? I hadn't noticed. Thanks for pointing that out. What's the matter? Little moon scramble in your brain? Go! That's werewolves.

Do I look like a werewolf to you? You look like shit to me. Go! Haha. I'll be back in a minute. I'm just gonna go kill this man. Oh, I knew this was a mistake. Uh, you know what?

I'm good. As Monkey Rick would say, if you don't master your anger, your anger will master you. That's right! Listen to your boyfriend! Ignore him. Oh boy, you know, road rage hits differently when you're in a convertible. You know, it's like he's right there.

Hey, I don't want to be part of this conversation either. Why don't we put the top up for a bit? You know, like I suggested before we left? Why would we rent a convertible and keep the top up? I don't know, Frank. Why would you rent a convertible? Oh, just because of a little thing called the Great American Road Trip? This is not a road trip. Uh, what do you call driving across nine states in a convertible? The biggest mistake of my life.

Oh, there's an opening! Yes, oh yeah! Frank! Frank! Frank! Frank! It's a war of attrition, baby! We are getting there! Look, when you asked me to come on this trip, I thought it would be less vacation and more processing. Because of the dead dad thing? Yes, Frank. Because of the dead dad thing.

I am not staying for the funeral, Frank. If you want a shoulder to cry on, it is here, now. Once we get to Pennsylvania. Yeah, yeah, I get it. First flight back to LA. It's a real pity that you're gonna miss the Carnival of Souls, though. I do not want to go to your family's weird funeral party. I want you to get this stuff out in the open so you do not explode like an atom bomb when you get there. Okay, okay. Can we get out of the city first? We've got 2,000 miles of open road ahead of us.

I don't want to blow through all the juicy stuff in the first hour. Sure. When you are ready, I am here. You still have not told me how your dad died. I haven't? Your dad is dead, right? Oh, yeah. Super dead. Not undead, or technically dead because he transferred his brain into a fresh corpse. No.

I made sure it wasn't that before I rented the car. I swear, if I walk into that funeral and there is a head in a jar making shitty comments about the way I dress, I will never speak to you again. No, no, no, no, no. He's like very dead in a totally regular way. Like a heart attack or a stroke? Yeah, something like that. Something like that?

Well apparently he was up on the roof fixing the lightning rod and I guess he got struck by lightning. I am so sorry. Eleven times and... I am so sorry. He fell off the roof. Oh, Frank. And was impaled on one of mom's sculptures. Why don't you tell me when you are done?

No, that's pretty much it. Mom always said he spent too much time on the roof fiddling with his lightning rod. Oh. Really, Dracula? Did you find something funny about the way my dad died? No. Polishing the big round knob on the end of his lightning rod. Stop, this is serious.

I am serious. You're the one who's laughing, babe. You know what you are doing. Look, I get that I'm supposed to feel bad about this, but I haven't spoken to him in years. This has literally no effect on my life. Frank. No, honestly.

I just feel bad for Mom. She had to put up with this miserable ass for all these years and now she has to plan the dude's funeral. That sounds like hell. How is she holding up? Oh, you know Mom. No, I do not, Frank. In six years of dating we never met.

Really? That doesn't sound right. I would be inclined to it. Me? I don't know. I love mom, but she's always been weird about dad stuff. It sounds like she's thrown herself whole ass into carnival prep. Ah, the ancient art of avoidance has been passed down through the generations. She's from a different generation. They're not as you know emotionally mature as you and

monkey Rick You're jerking my stitches, but yeah, I've really grown thanks to monkey Rick and the mine jungle. Oh Yeah, how is your brother Frank? Hey, look, it's rosemary's. Yep. There it it is. God we haven't been there in years. Should we? Absolutely not. Come on you love Rosemary's. I do not love it. It was just a dark place to go during the day. The floors were sticky and the bartender called me Ichabod. Yeah we had some good times on those sticky floors. Drinking beer, shooting pool... Not a worry in the world.

I do not drink beer, I do not play pool, I worry constantly. Camilla rigged the jukebox so we could keep using the same dirty old quarter over and over again. And Wolfie would sit on that thing playing the goo goo dolls on repeat until someone tore him away. Yeah, the dog man loves the goo. Hey, remember the weekend we spent wallpapering the bathrooms with your old anime books? How could I forget? You got through half a wall before I realized you were tearing up my prized collection of vampire prints, crybaby. Well, in my defense… Do not say it.

Babe, all your horny vampire mangas look the same. Do you really want to re-litigate this argument? Do you remember who won last time? I remember we agreed floor piles wasn't a cool way to organize a book collection. Well, I remember someone spent the next six months trolling yard sales in the boonies to replace them. Sounds like a grand romantic gesture to me. It was a little bit romantic. Though half of them were in Italian. Ah, and you speak Italian?

Yes, but vampire seduction has a distinctly unpleasant flavor when read in Italian. Oh, okay. Yeah, that actually makes a lot of sense. You see the old gang much? Camilla? Wolfman? The creature from the Puse Lagoon? Not really. I was indulging in some post-breakup wallowing for a while. I was not in the mood for friends. Yeah? You want to talk about it? No. I kinda hoped to see you at Camilla's wedding last month. Camilla got married? Yeah, to Veronica.

Real cool chick. Has a bike shop down by the water. She's in my CrossFit class. I did not even know she was dating someone. You and Camilla used to be close. She was the first person I ever saw her. Wow. I don't think I knew that.

There are many things you don't know about me. I don't think that knew that. There are many things you don't know about me. Uh, I don't think that's true. It is. I can't believe I never clocked you as exes though. What? I bet you all look cute together. All gothic and moody and pale like a couple of haunted dolls. God, no.

Camilla and I never... She was my business partner. Ah, forbidden love. Stop it! It was a purely transactional agreement. She wanted to live forever and I needed an accountant who would not die every 50 years. And are all Transylvanian accountants 6'4", beautiful Goth women? God, Frank! Camilla is like a daughter to me. Well, a daughter probably would have, you know, invited you to her wedding.

Wow. Look, all I'm saying is everyone misses you, Dracula. Okay, well, whose fault is that? Wait, what? Nothing. Please, can we stop talking about this? They're your friends too. Just because we- Right, right, please. Fine.

Thank you. Sweet baby Satan, I'm hungry. You hungry? I ate before we left. Alright, well you let me know if you need to pull over and grab one of your Capri sons from the trunk. We all know that the Dark Lord gets grungry when he hasn't had his drinkie. Please stop talking about food. Remember when we lost your cooler at Joshua Tree? Man, that was a trip. I thought you were gonna rip Tyler's head

off and drink him like a smoothie. Frank? Sorry I know you don't like talking about that stuff. I'll keep it kosher from here on out. Are you okay? I am fine. Really? You've downshifted three shades of pale since I picked you up. I said I'm fine. I just have a bit of a headache from the sun. Oh yeah? I'm so glad you still had the dreadlord's ring. I spent an entire paycheck on this beaut, and it would have sucked if we couldn't pop that top

and let loose. You know I'm not really meant to wear this thing every day. Yeah, I know. It's for special occasions. Emergencies. Think of this as an emotional emergency. Is it? Is it what?

Is this an emotional emergency, Frank? Is that why I'm here? Uh, I didn't. It is okay. Gas station. We need fuel. We need to stop at the gas station. We are 20 minutes outside the city?

Yeah, yeah, but this thing is a real gas guzzler. But we're on vacation, so, you know, money doesn't matter. We are absolutely not on vacation. I mean, technically, it's bereavement leave, but Doug made me use the last of my vacation days for the funeral. In my books, that's a vacation. Oh, Frank. I will get the snacks. What do you want?

I think Dead Dad stuff is worth a couple of bag of chips. What do you want? Flavor? I could get used to this dead dad stuff. Can I get a big thing of iced tea and sharing bag of blastos? Flavor? Uh... the limited edition Stevie Nicks edge of jalapeno. If they have it. Speak easy chutney if they don't. Yeah. Thanks Dracula. No problem Frank. Keep it together Dracula, you're not falling for that meathead again.

Could I get a pack of Stokken Blues as well please? Anything for you. Well, look who it is. I don't want any trouble, dude. Should have thought about that before you cut me off. I'm sorry. Is that what you want to hear? I'm sorry a very normal thing happened to you in your car and you let it ruin your day. Oh, my day's going fine. I'm having a great day. Your day, though? It's not looking good, body bag.

Look, I am not who you think I am. No, dude, you totally are. I can feel it in the pit of my soul. Clearly you are going through something and you need help, but I am not that person. Please, it hurts all the time. Take your hand off me. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It's just, maybe work on not being so miserable all the time, dude.

You know... for all of us... You will get used to it. Come on, man! That's not funny! I said I was sorry! That's my dead boss call! Uh... Dracula. I-I can explain. We have to go. Nobody's going anywhere until I get somebody's insurance! AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Hey, you can't just flee the scene! You! Call the police! You should check out Monkey Rick's World is hard! What? They're getting away? Sorry, dude. Can't call the cops on the dragon.

What? You're smoking? Yep. But you work so hard to quit. Yes, after the break up I kind of fell off the wagon. Which wagon? You know, all of them. Oh, oh, okay, so you've been drinking? Drinking, siring, just sort of doing the whole thing.

The whole thing? Mm-hmm. So, that lady was one of your... Probably. Probably? It has been a bit of a blur. A lot of shirtless twinks in darkened alleyways, you know? Oh? After we broke up, I, uh...

After you broke up with me? After you punched a hole in my kitchen wall. Yeah. That night, when you left, I sat on the kitchen floor and stared at the wall for hours. No tears. No anger. Just...

Nothing. Before we met, I had been alone for decades. I was used to being alone. It was actually quite comforting. Like an armor of silence. But when you left and the loneliness returned, it felt different. It felt cold and dangerous and I needed to feel anything other than that feeling. So I started making friends.

Cheap, disposable friends that could not reject me. Camilla? Pucy? Wolfie? They were your friends. They're your friends too, Dracula. They care about you. They miss you. They're worried about you. I know. They are good people, but they will always be your friends first. I could not face them after everything that happened. All of them have been- Can we not do this right now? Please.

Okay. So why did you agree to come on this road trip with me? I don't know. Maybe I am not exactly operating with deliberate intent at the moment. Well, I guess that makes two of us. Yeah? Yeah. Asking you to come with me was crazy. But I wanted to, so I did.

Maybe it was a stupid and selfish thing to do. But I'm starting to think through some sort of mystical alignment of spiritual woo-woo, it was like the only right thing to do. God, I wish I had your brain sometimes. Well you got it babe. For the duration of this trip my brain is yours. You helped me get to the dead dad thing without freaking out and running away and I stopped you from creating an army of svelte shadow twinks. It's a perfect symbiotic relationship. I would not so go so far as to call the situation perfect, but I guess it makes some kind of

messed up sense. Yeah. Frank, are you sure? I've never been more sure about anything in my life, babe. Okay, in that case, I think I would like to go to the funeral with you. Oh, you don't have to, I- No, I want to. It is not about you. I need to meet your family. You owe that to me after six years of dating. Okay. Anything for you, babe.

Oh, and Frank? Yes, Dracula? We are putting the goddamn top up so I can take this goddamn ring off. Oh, yeah, oh yeah, of course, of course. I have got an abyssal migraine so wide you could squeeze an elder god through it. I'm on it, I'm on it. You know, Dracula, I'm really glad I asked you to come with me. Me too, Frank.

Me too. Uh, did I see you flip a card over back there? like 4.0 International License. This series is written and created by Shane and Morgan Ormond and Script Consultation and directed by Amani Zardoni. This episode was edited by Nico Vitesse, Catherine Seton, Tessa Vroom, Meg McKellar and Catherine Brunella with music from Nico Vitesse. It featured Kai Partenya as Dracula, Marcus Bobisic as Frank, Evelyn McCauley as Esme, Alistair Cato as Perfie, Beth Ayr as Camilla, with additional voices from Ash Kelly, Ted Hazard, Paul Kandarian, Philomena Sherwood, Shahan Hamza, and Karim Crumfley.

Neon Inquil is produced by April Sumner with executive producer Alexander J. Newell and showrunner Elizabeth Mock. To subscribe, view associated materials, or join our Patreon, visit RustyQuill.com. Rate and review us online, tweet us at TheRustyQuill, visit us on Facebook, or email us at mail at RustyQuill.com. Thanks for listening! Find the next episode of Broken Hearted Monsters on the Neon Inkwell Podcast feed, which you can find wherever you listen to podcasts, linked in the description or on RustyQuill.com. Thanks for listening. FanDuel Casino Daily Jackpots, guaranteed to hit by 11pm with your chance at the number on RustyQuill.com. Thanks for listening. Every day.