The Magnus Archives - The Magnus Protocol 2 – Making Adjustments

Episode Date: January 18, 2024

CAT3RBC1567-23092022-18012024Transformation (full) -/- dysmorphic [video call] Incident Elements: -      Body modification-      Dysmorphia/Dysphoria-      Addiction/Mania-      Self-harm-      Therapy-      Burnout-      Needles (tattoo)-      Discussion of: Suicide/Self-Harm Transcripts: https://shorturl.at/gzF15  This Episode is dedicated to Christian (and also Coco) thank you for your generous support! You can a complete list of ourKickstarter backers https://rustyquill.com/the-magnus-protocol-supporter-wall/ Created by Jonathan Sims and Alexander J Newall Directed by Alexander J Newall Written by Alexander J NewallScript Editing by Jonathan Sims Executive Producers April Sumner, Alexander J Newall, Jonathan Sims, Dani McDonough, Linn Ci, and Samantha F.G. Hamilton Associate Producers Jordan L. Hawk,Taylor Michaels, Nicole Perlman, Cetius d’Raven, and Megan Nice Produced by April Sumner Featuring (in order of appearance) Billie Hindle as Alice DyerAnusia Battersby as Gwendolyn BouchardShahan Hamza as Samama KhalidKate Sketchley as DariaJenny Haufek as Therapist Dialogue Editor – Lowri Ann DaviesSound Designer – Tessa Vroom Mastering Editor - Catherine Rinella Music by Sam Jones (orchestral mix by Jake Jackson) Art by April Sumner  Support us on Patreon at https://patreon.com/rustyquill  Check out our merchandise available at https://www.redbubble.com/people/RustyQuill/shop and https://www.teepublic.com/stores/rusty-quill  Join our community: WEBSITE: rustyquill.com FACEBOOK: facebook.com/therustyquill TWITTER: @therustyquill REDDIT: reddit.com/r/RustyQuill EMAIL: [e-mail] The Magnus Protocol is a derivative product of the Magnus Archives, created by Rusty Quill Ltd. and licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial Share alike 4.0 International Licence.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This episode is dedicated to Christian, and also Coco. Rusty Quill Presents The Magnus Protocol. Episode 2. Making Adjustments. I'm sorry. Okay. Dracula. V for vampires. Assuming you mean Count Dracula, a la the novel, I'd suggest subsection popular culture. And assuming he's behaving as I'd expect... He is.

I'd guess a DPHW of... 7, 4, 7, 5. Uh-huh. Close. 7, 4, 6, 5. Okay. Frankenstein? Assuming you mean the scientist, not the monster.

I do. Then that would be another resurrection. Possible subsections obsession, medical pursuit, and... Blasphemy, maybe? So that would make it four, 2, 3, 7. Um... Now? Um, 5, 3, 3, 7.

Pass that here. This thing is enormous. We can't possibly be expected to just memorize all of it. You won't keep up if you're sitting there turning pages all night. But surely there's a system or something. Like, what does DPHW stand for? I don't know if it stands for anything. It's just an arbitrary index.

You just gain a sense for it after a while. But someone came up with it, meaning there was a logic to it at some point. Sam! So if we can just figure out what links similar cases, then we'd know what the system was based on and... Sam! We aren't here to decode the system. That's Colin's job, and you've seen what a delight it's made him. Just try to learn your codes and process your cases. But I'm never going to learn all of this.

You've been here for years, and even you haven't managed to... Then quit. No one's making you work here. I... Right. Listen, Gwen, I'm... Ahoy, hoy. Did you miss me? Was it torture?

You're late. I'm sure the UK government found some way to soldier on without me for... three and a half minutes. Whatever. Everything good here? Enjoying playtime with Auntie Gwen? Yeah, it's been fine. Cool. We'll unpack that ominous silence later. But for now, we should probably get started.

We've still not cleared your backlog. Sure. If you're so concerned with backlog, maybe being on time would help. Hey, Gwen? Gwen? Gwen? Gwen? Time isn't real. Shut up.

Hi, am I coming through? Yes, but there's no video. I'd rather not, if that's okay. That might be something to dive into later, but it's fine for now. Great. I've gone over the paperwork that Dr. Kahn sent over, and there's quite a lot to unpack, so... I'm not crazy. Of course.

I'm not a huge fan of that word at the best of times, but I am interested in what makes you lead with that. The last guy used the word delusions a lot, but that's not what... I know what's real, and I need you to believe me. I think I can do that. I can try, at least. And don't do that, either. I don't want your sympathy i just want to get this over with normally i'd caution against that attitude but i understand these are sessions that are court ordered so the situation is a little more complicated how about we start with you giving your own account of what brought you here? How does that sound?

Oh, um, I didn't think we'd be going straight into it We don't have to, if you don't want to No, no, no, that's, it's fine Um, I just... I'm not sure where to start, you know? Take your time Sure not sure where to start, you know? Take your time. Sure. I've always hated the way I looked. I'm sure there's some deep trauma behind it that you're

itching to unpack, but it's a fact, and it's not like I can avoid thinking about it. I'm a visual artist who gets most of her work from social media commissions. That means I'm spending four or five hours a day on Instagram, minimum, and that messes you up after a while, you know? Like, we all know it's fake. It's all filters and Photoshop and everyone pretending that they're the real deal, hashtag makeup free, but just because you know that doesn't mean you're immune. And, yeah, I'd ended up in a pretty dark place.

And when I turned 30, I decided to do something about it. I started with my hair, grew it out to make my face look longer, and it sort of worked. And then I chucked out all my older sister's clothes and dipped into my savings to get myself a couple of pairs of my own jeans that didn't make me look quite so much like an overloaded ice cream cone. I even shelled out for a cute LBD for when I did lose a bit of weight. Mum said I was being overambitious, but, well, it hangs off me now, of course. Well, most clothes do. Daria? Sorry, where was I? You were giving yourself something of a makeover. Right, yeah. So I'm stood there in the bathroom, looking in the mirror, trying to figure out what's missing, and that's when I decide I need a tattoo. I had a couple already, just little things on my

shin and my wrist, but I decided I needed something big. Something that really changed my look. So I started trawling insta for tattooists and at first glance it looks like there's this huge amount of choice but the more you look the more you realize that the mostly recycled designs and even those were way too expensive for me. It was actually when I was looking for some inspiration for a commission that I found them. I was meant to be doing a portrait for some generic witchy alchemist character. And it was when I was researching the symbols and stuff that I came across Ink Soul. It's like Ink Soul, but the S is a number five. You

can look them up. They're pretty popular these days. They didn't have as many followers back then but the designs were great and they offered a massive discount if you agreed to a photoshoot afterwards. I figured I had nothing to lose by reaching out so I got on their site, filled in the about me contact form and got an immediate response inviting me into their prestigious London studio. I actually heard the studio before I saw it. A noxious dubstep was echoing out the far end of the corridor, and when I turned the corner, I found myself looking at the most influencer setup imaginable. A huge purple neon sign took up most of the shop

front with Ink Soul written in cursive, flanked by a pair of ludicrously huge speakers. Looking beyond into the interior, it seemed like more of the studio was dedicated to ring lights and photography gear than tattoos. Ink Soul themselves was...to be honest, they were kind of underwhelming. Not a lot sticks in my mind, except that they... Well, they had an absolutely gorgeous floral serpent design running up their arm and into their neck. It was so vivid. It looked ready to slither off their skin and onto the chair. They beckoned me over, and we chatted for a bit. It was weird. They didn't ask me about what design I wanted. They just kept pressing me about my life, about why I wanted the ink.

I was honest, maybe uncomfortably so, but nothing really seemed to grab them until I told them what I did for a living. And then they broke into this huge grin and cried, the artist becomes the canvas. Before I could reply, they hit a button on their setup and suddenly we were live streaming with lights in my eyes and their arm tight around my shoulders. I don't remember much of what they said to their viewers, but they just kept telling everyone how lucky I was whilst they dragged me into the chair. And then suddenly they tilted it back, and before I knew it was happening, I cried out in shock as the needle hit my skin.

They hadn't discussed the design or anything, they just started working on the inside of my left forearm, my drawing arm. I could feel panic start to rise inside me, but all I could do was just sit perfectly still. I stopped being able to think about anything at that point, as it was by far the worst pain of my entire life. Vicious, shooting pains let up and down my whole arm from my chest to my fingertips. Every muscle snapped taut automatically and my back arched on the chair. I wanted to scream but I couldn't even breathe as it felt like thousands of wasp stings ravaged my body whilst mediocre dubstep thrummed through my chest. And Ink Soul chatted to their viewers completely unconcerned.

I must have passed out, because when I opened my eyes, Ink Soul was at the other end of the studio, cleaning their bloody tools. The stream was over, and I was apparently forgotten. The pain had dulled, so I dared to look down at my forearm, expecting to see a tattered and bloody mess. Instead, a pristine paintbrush design spanned from the interior of my elbow to the inside of my palm. A flurry of colourful floral patterns entwined with symbols I didn't recognise. Despite the pain, I twisted my arm back and forth to admire the work, and those symbols almost seemed to glitter in the light. It was... it was beautiful.

Just as suddenly as the lights had turned on, they were off, and I was bundled towards the exit. No debrief, no aftercare. They said they had the shots they needed, and before I knew it, I was stood outside, dazzled and unsteady. I considered going back in, but I was so tired. Instead, I just stumbled back home, my new tattoo still completely exposed. Back in my flat, I cleaned it, moisturised it, and then covered it as best I could, but it was already pristine. If it weren't for the pain, it could have been there for weeks already. I stood before the bathroom mirror and looked myself over, and for the first time, I saw someone interesting. Someone I wanted to know more about. I went a bit manic at that point. For the first time ever I wanted to attempt a self-portrait.

Something real and physical. I wanted to feel the brushes in my hands and the oil on my fingertips. I worked through the entire night with a passion like I hadn't felt in years. There were thick globs of paint all over the room. My hands, arms, face and clothes were covered. But when I surveyed the finished work, it was spotless. Not only that, it was by far my best work, a luscious impasto that leapt off the canvas. I've been calling myself an artist for years, but this was the first time that I had felt it. I don't remember falling asleep, and I didn't wake up until past four in the afternoon. I was still tired and had a pounding headache along with my throbbing arm but I still awoke with a smile because when I opened my eyes my own face was staring back at me and the

first time I wasn't ashamed. At least, not initially. As I stared at it, though, I noticed that whilst it was accurate, it wasn't perfect. The eyes were still slightly wrong, the angle of the smile was off, and obviously the nose still wasn't quite right. Looking around me, I realised that all of my paints were still out. I looked at my new tattoo and realised that I would be fine to just do a quick touch-up. Nothing major, just a slight adjustment, just for me. Despite the headache, my hunger, my fatigue and my painful arm, I began to take a palette knife to the left eye, just a small tweak. It was a subtle change, barely noticeable, but I knew I was making progress because I could feel when the knife scraped bone. And when I went into

the bathroom to check, I was pleased with the result. There was no discolouration, no bleeding, no damage at all, but the face around my eyes was definitely more symmetrical. It looked so much better, but not quite perfect. I should have stopped then. I should have taken a break. I should have called my mum, put everything away and gone outside, but the power was in my hands. I could finally make myself perfect. It was small tweaks at first, giving a fresh gasp of pain each time. I slightly lengthened my fingers, made my ears a little more delicate, straightened my nose and re-angled my cheekbones, tapered my chin, slimmed my waist and increased my bust, narrowed my frame, lengthened my legs, adjusted my calves, thinned my wrists, and shortened my feet. I mean, nothing much, really.

But it was when I reworked my shoulders that I ran into a problem. As my brush and knife made their alterations, the tattoo on my arm began to leak. Not out of my skin, but along my upper arm, spreading out and flowing its rivers of colour into the new contours I was creating, and the tattoo, of course, was the only thing so far that was actually perfect, so I had to work around it as best I could. I worked solidly for days. Each time I slipped the knife into my skin and reshaped it, I got just that little bit closer to perfection. But each time I had to make more and more compromises around the spreading tattoo. I was close though. So close. It was almost there. That wholeness you only feel when the canvas is finally complete. I just couldn't

bridge the gap. Each time I would fix up one spot, only for two others to come undone. The whole time the tattoo just kept spreading and spreading and my masterpiece just kept receding. That was when my housemate Sarah got back from visiting her parents. I'd lost track of time and didn't realise her trip was already over. I had hoped that I could show off my new look to her when it was finished, but I never got the chance. She walked in the door just as I was finalising my mouth, so I couldn't say anything. If I could, I'm sure I could have been able to explain and make her understand. Instead, she started screaming, and when I made reassuring

noises and reached out to her, she backed away. I did manage to hold her for a moment, but the work I'd done on my hands the day before meant that I couldn't really grip her. That was when she punched me. I'm sure she was just surprised, but it was still heartbreaking. Her hand went right into my cheek and undid days of work, and the way she carried on, you would think it was her face she'd messed up. Anyway, I'm sure you've read the rest in the court reports. When the ambulance came, Sarah told them I'd tried to kill myself with some acid she found in my art supplies. They put me on suicide watch and only agreed to release me when I agreed to attend counselling. I haven't made any more adjustments since

then. Just waiting for inspiration, I guess. I see. That's quite the story You don't believe me either I didn't say that I would however like to ask you directly Did you try to harm yourself with acid?

Of course not I never wanted to hurt myself I just wanted to be better Of course not. I never wanted to hurt myself, I just wanted to be... better. That's good to hear. If I'd wanted to clear the canvas, I would have used turpentine. Problems? Hmm?

No. Oh, good. It's just... Uh-huh? How on earth do you cope listening to all this stuff? Neither of you seem bothered by any of it. Oh, I see. You want to know how to handle reading and listening to all this stuff? Neither of you seem bothered by any of it. Oh, I see. You want to know how to handle reading and listening to all of it? Yes.

The secret of the steel-trapped mind which keeps me stoic in the face of atrocities that would drive a lesser will to madness. Please. Just stop paying attention. Don't look at me like that. I'm serious. I just skim the case for keywords, and if it's a talker, I hit play and get on with other work. Then when it's done being creepy, I process it and move on. You're never going to keep up if you keep actually taking it all in.

Just surf the wave without being drawn in. But what if something comes up that you know might be true? Why would that matter? Plus, we're kinda specifically paid to not care. Yeah, but- You asked how to cope. That's how. Alright. The sooner you accept it, the happier you'll be.

Sure. Gwendolyn? Don't. Wow. What a rude way to greet your work bestie. Not in the mood. That's okay. We can just do small talk like normal people. So... What if you could magically speak all languages but after every sentence you had to fart really loudly and declare, It was me and I'll do it again!

Would you take that deal? Nina's planning redundancies. What? Yeah. I was going past her office earlier and I overheard you on the phone. They're expanding external operations. And do you know what that means? Outsourcing.

Redundancies. That's absurd. There's only like three of us here. Besides, technically this is civil service. There's no way they could just outsource everything without an entire mountain of bureaucracy. You don't know that. You've seen how much paperwork this place generates. You've got to file a form in triplet here before they'll let you take a piss.

It'd take them years to pull off what you're suggesting. She could have started the process years ago. We both know Mina wouldn't think twice about dumping both of us. Do you, baby? I like to think we have a rapport. He hasn't said more than ten words to you in the last year. I know. Good, isn't it? Anyway, what do you care? You should be happy. Nice big payout and you can finally ditch this job you hate so much. I don't hate the job.

You could have fooled me. What I hate is that no one in this entire place will give me a single ounce of respect. Ah. Yeah, that's never gonna happen. Clearly. Still, I do reckon you've got the wrong end of the stick. Lena's as likely to hire another Sam as she is to give us all the boo. If you say so. Alice? Alice! Ow! What? Bone.

Oh, cheers. Well, hello. What's got you calling so late, hm? No, not busy. I'm at work, so... Yeah, what's up? Right. How was the crowd? Sounds like a solid gig. That's no way to talk to your big sister.

Disgraceful. So is the tour actually on the cards this time or... cool! And presumably now there's proper interest they're going to ditch you for someone who can, you know, play an instrument. Oh you always say the sweetest things! Uh Yeah That should be fine It'll need to be after the 28th though As that's payday Okay no worries

Listen I probably should go and actually do some work. It would be super awkward if I got fired when you're just on the cusp of becoming a drug-addled rock star. Yeah, no worries. I'll talk to you later. Say hi to Trotter for me. So how's Luke? He's good. He's still playing with bullets for St. Sebastian?

God, no. They broke up years ago. He's with a new group, Dredgemen. They're pretty decent. Well, I'm glad he's doing well. As far as brothers go, you could have done worse. He has his moments. What's that? Huh? The Magnus Institute. You're looking to jump ship already. Oh, it's nothing. Just a bit of background research. Research? Sam, tell me this isn't linked to any of your cases.

It's just something that came up on my first day. I've been trying to get it out of my head. Well, try harder. It's fine, honestly. I'm on top of my caseload, and- It's not that. Then what's the problem? I wasn't messing with you earlier. You do need to compartmentalise for this job.

Make a box in your head, and at the end of the shift, you dump everything in there and hit the incinerate button, okay? You do not want to be thinking about this stuff outside of here. It's not good for you. I've seen people go weird before now. Then let me guess. I'm weird enough already. I'm serious, Sam. Alright. I hear you. Thanks. No worries. That's the general idea. To be continued... This episode was written by Alexander J. Newell and edited with additional materials by Jonathan Sims, with vocal edits by Lorianne Davis, soundscaping by Tessa Veru, and mastering by Catherine Rinella,

with music by Sam Jones. It featured Billy Hindle as Alistair, Shahan Hamza as Samana Khali, Anusha Battersby as Gwen Bouchard. The Magnus Protocol is produced by April Sumner, with executive producers Alexander J. Newell, Danny McDonough, Lynn C.,

and Samantha F.G. Hamilton, and associate producers Jordan L. Hawke, Taylor Michaels, Nicole Perlman, Cestius Duraven, and Megan Nice. To subscribe, view associated materials, or join our Patreon, visit RustyQuill.com.

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