The Marketing Bestie Podcast with zoeunlimited - “dark feminine energy” is a scam? @gabriellebernstein ​

Episode Date: October 20, 2025

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What is the deadliest trait that makes someone attractive? Hmm. The secret to getting what you want is to f***. New York Times, number one. Number one. Bestselling author. Bestselling author. Bestselling author.

A role model for a new generation. Gabby Bernstein. You could say all the I'm a lucky girl. I'm a lucky girl. All that. And it could be a bunch of bullshit. Thank you story blocks for sponsoring today's video. More on that later.

Welcome to the Marketing Bestie Podcast, joined by the smartest founders, CMOs, and culture shapers. Help you unlock your power. to love and wealth. Today we have Gabby Bernstein. And her best-selling book, The Universe Has Your Back, is secretly a rebrand manual for your dream life. Which is always helped by visualization. You cannot build your dream brand without visuals,

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When you sign up for an annual plan with storyblocks.com slash ZOE Unlimited. Take advantage of this limited time offer. Gabby, welcome. Thank you. Or anyone who just clicked in, why should they care about what you have to say in the next hour if they want to build their dream brand or dream life? For the next hour, I can hopefully radically change someone's perspective

on how they create their dream brand in life, giving clear direction. So stick around. I am so excited. To start off, congrats on 20 years being sober. Thank you. What are some early context of you that the audience should know? So I started my career as a spiritual teacher right after getting sober in 2005. So I got sober in 2005. I was prior to that running nightlife PR. I had my own PR company. She's a marketing queen. From 21 to 25, I ran this PR company. And it was My own business started it out of school. At 21, you started your own business. Yes, yes.

I never had a boss. I was representing nightclubs and it was at a time when it was like really like girl boss, but like even more aggressive than what you may have seen. And it was like power women. That was the vibe. So I was very, very much in that vein and started my first business with this desire to just have president on my business card and be this boss. And I had success.

My business was really booming early days, had lots of clients. But I got very hooked into that outside perception. of myself of, you know, how can I get past the velvet robes? Am I this it girl? It also led me down this path of a lot of addiction as well. So I started getting very addicted to the party scene and ultimately became addicted to cocaine. And by my own desire to live a very different life and my own spiritual foundation, which had always been planted in me, I made the decision to actually redirect and move in the direction of making the commitment to getting clean and sober on October 2nd of 2005. And I hit that bottom. I got sober and I've been sober ever since. Biggest decision of my life,

best decision of my life. And very quickly, I started speaking publicly about spiritual principles and my recovery and the changes I was making and vlogging on YouTube and, but mainly giving live talks because my main vocation is as a motivational speaker and author. Yeah. Yes. For some background on me, I didn't grow up in a spiritual or religious environment. In fact, it was almost a little bit taboo. And I only got introduced to spirituality last year. And one of my first readings was your book, The Universe Has Your Back. For anyone who might not be super familiar with spirituality, how would you define it in the simplest terms? Well, I think that we are all spiritual beings and we're having this human experience where we learn these external belief systems from the external world that we are planted into.

Whether it be, and no matter where we are born, we're learning the outside ego pretences. And so when we find our way to a spiritual path, so much of it is unlearning all the stuff that we've learned in our life. That's so true. A lot of times it's not learning. It's unlearning. It's actually reclaiming this sense of inner safety inside and a sense of inner presence inside and a sense of interconnectedness. And so much of the outside world that we've placed upon ourselves is actually the biggest block to that what I call super attractor power to the connection to the universe, to our ability to manifest. to our ability to have a spiritual life. Awesome. We're going to talk so much about attraction and manifestation. But a lot of people who are watching or listening right now are probably very curious about the hot question.

What's the secret to getting anything you want in life? The secret to getting what you want is to forget what you think you need. Oh, interesting. We are really hung up on this need to acquire, attract, manifest. It's quite the opposite. It's when we let go. It's when we stop trying and stop forcing or pushing or controlling or wishing and hoping that we actually start allowing.

And the allowing is being in joy, having fun, doing creative pursuits. I mean, you're an excellent example of that. You were in corporate. You were doing creative work. Your creative work started to take hold. You started to feel so much joy in that work. It was fun for you. It's effortless for you.

You were like, I would do it for free if I had, you know? That is so true. I was like someone has to pay me for me. to stop making cringy little videos. Yes, exactly. You loved making cringy videos. And so your cringy videos now have blown up because of that joy. So that's how you attract and that's how you manifest.

By just being in the experience of what it is that you are excited by, illuminated by, inspired by, because we're inspired. When we're inspired, we're in spirit. And that spiritual essence of who we are is actually what is manifesting at all times. Got it. Do you start off on the light and fun stuff? side. I do want to touch on a few terms very hot in pulp culture and branding right now that are related to spirituality. And I want to get your take on them. Okay, cool. Let's do it. First one,

Lucky Girl Syndrome. Yeah. Do you identify as someone who has Lucky Girl Syndrome? And if you think this is a concept that is verified in spirituality, how do you create Lucky Girl Syndrome? Well, what is Lucky Girl Syndrome? See if the 46-year-old woman sitting with you? I think people are just like, oh, I'm always the lucky girl and then you start to see lucky things happen to you. So thinking about ourselves in a way where we're perceiving the luck or the abundance or the opportunity rather than the lack is always going to put us into a better point of attraction. We're in a point of attraction by what we put out. We manifest what we believe. We manifest what we put out.

But you could say all the I'm a lucky girl. I'm a lucky girl. All that. And it could be a bunch of bullshit. Okay. Because if you don't feel it, then it's bullshit. Right. Okay. Is it like delusion at one point? You're just playing a game. The real work is about healing the core beliefs inside of you because you manifest what you believe. You can walk around with a lucky girl, a lucky girl. Maybe things are a little bit more fun. Maybe you're having a little more playful day. That's all cool. That's fine. I appreciate that.

I think affirming good feelings is great. But if deep down, you still believe I'm not worthy or I'm inadequate, you're not going to actually track what you want, or you might and you'll lose it. It won't stick. You have to be really in that centered place of what you truly believe inside. And that's where spiritual self-help comes in. That's why I've written 11 books on spirituality and self-help to help you undo the burdened belief systems that block you from actually being in that real genuine vibrational point of attraction of what you want. Interesting. What is one common belief that people hold on to that's kind of blocking their abundance or blocking what truly want. I'm not worthy. Not good enough. How does one really leave that state of mind?

My 10th book is called self-help, and it's based on the principles of a therapy called IFS, Internal Family Systems Therapy. And it's all about connecting and befriending these belief systems and undoing the patterns of those belief systems. So if somebody's like, I really want to manifest, but I've got this belief that's blocking me. I wouldn't hand them the universe has your back. I'd hand them self-help. It'd say, do self-help and then read the universe has your back or then read super super attractor, but do self-help. Because it's about the self-energy inside of you healing those belief systems and being your own inner healer.

Got it. More about that self-energy. I think attraction is such a powerful force of nature, even in marketing. We often see the clearance or the very salesy marketing not convert, whereas the limited drop sells out in minutes. So how does one really attract that dream opportunity or a soulmate and become a magnet or a super attractor? The more thirsty you are, the less attractive you are. You know this. Like if someone's like DMing you or like constantly texting you, even energetically kind of

stalking you, you're kind of immediately going to deflect that energy. Right. It's when someone's in their own confidence, in their own joy, being themselves, authenticity is what is attractive. So being in that sort of genuine grounded space of this is who I am and this is me, vulnerable, authentic, genuine, that's what's going to magnetize other people towards you. All the world wants from you is your authentic truth. Kind of continuing that conversation, what would you say is the deadliest trait that makes someone attractive? And attractive in terms of it could be towards other humans. It could be towards wealth or health. Yeah, I think that joy. Oh, fun. Think about it. The fun girl at the party is the most attractive person at the party, right? Or the person that you meet

on the street that just sort of comes in and their vibe speaks louder than their words. It's that joy and that fun that's the magnetization. I like to live my life where wherever I go I try to just be really kind to people. I love to compliment people genuinely, not bullshit people, but I like to just have a good time. And so the more fun I'm having, the more energy I have, the more magnetic I am, the more people want to be around me, the more supported I feel. It's just that is it. Okay. This is. This is interesting because something that's been trending in pop culture and social media has been detachment where people are like this is the dark feminine energy where like this is the type of trait that makes you very magnetic and i want to hear your take on it because i know you talk about

the art of surrender in your book the universe has your back and i want to kind of differentiate if there's a difference or is there a similarity between detachment versus surrender I think that genuine detachment is comparable to surrender in that it's the feeling of being in that art of allowing, of not strangling or controlling your dreams and trusting that the universe has your back. Trusting, is there something better? Trusting that if you have a desire, it was planted in your heart for a reason. When you act on that desire with joy and inspiration, it will be fulfilled in a way that may not be exactly as you plant. but it will be fulfilled. And the thing that detachment and surrender allows us to do is let go of the expectation.

Remember, you asked me, what's the secret to manifesting? I said, let go of what you think you need. So this is the same thing. If you start to just surrender it all, and then my book, the universe has your back. If you think you surrendered, surrender more. And that is the biggest message I could give everybody because the more you strangle, the more you hold on, the more you deflect. It's very counterintuitive.

Vietis, because you're like, I have to do, do, do, I should make, make, make, control, control. Yeah, you can do a lot and things will come out of doing. But I found that the less I do and the more intentional I am, it doesn't mean that I'm not actually taking action, but the more intentional I am in my doing, the more it can create. Okay. I was going to ask about that because some people might be like, oh, does that mean I take no action or take no more accountability? And I think that's where the nuance comes in.

You, of course, always take action. You always take accountability. The actions that you take have an impact. And the actions that we take from spiritual alignment are the ones that make the biggest impact, a positive impact. So what is spiritually aligned action? This is when we are feeling excited and joyful, having fun doing what we're doing, taking the action, when we have faith that it's going to work out or it's going to be better than what I planned. Or even if it doesn't work out as a detour in the right. direction. We're just in surrender and state about it. And when we're really letting go of the outcome,

because it's that controlling of the outcome that blocks the creation. So that's taking that action from a place of spiritual alignment is the whole thing. What your career and your life is creating right now is all a spiritually lined action. It's you're in joy, you're having fun, you're creating, you're doing great work, you're making choices that are related to what you feel inspired by girl. It's killing. So good. Oh, thank you. What was the hardest surrender you had to take action on? I had a few in my life. I've had a lot of moments of surrender, big, deep moments of surrender, getting sober at 25,

surrendering the outcome of a pregnancy that I had, that I did a lot of IVF for my second child. Even in the end, I wound up having one embryo and carrying the baby for five and a half months, and I had to actually have an abortion because the child wasn't going to keep growing. And it was a really difficult moment. But surrendering that outcome allowed me to now realize that I have one child and it's actually really right for me. One is all I need. Wow.

Yeah. That's amazing. Do you have any advice for people who easily attach onto things and have struggle with letting go in terms of how to detach in a healthy way? I always say take your hands off the wheel with your intentions. So we're strangling and we're controlling, but we can start to set some intentions of I give this over to the universe, even if you don't understand what that means to you yet, just say it. I turn this over, I give this over. And even in the moment of just saying, take this from me,

or I give this over, even if you don't believe in spirituality or you don't have a higher power, you don't have a spiritual connection, just saying, I'm going to give this away today can have a huge impact. Start with the small actionable steps day by day. But even just letting yourself off the hook for that day. Okay, right here right now, I'm controlling this outcome. I'm going to let myself off the hook. I'm going to give it away today. Just for today, I'm going to just turn it over and then say it again the next day. And in those moments when you have that brief moment of relief of, okay, that feels pretty good to just turn that over. You want to really create more energy behind that. Feel into that. Know what that feels like. I can already feel a sense of relief. Doesn't that feel good? Yeah. Take that thing that you're

controlling right now and just give it away for today. I love it. What are some other ways you see people kind of sabotage their own brand without even knowing? People are sabotaging more often than they are generating. So folks out there are really needing to be seen. Oh, yes. And particularly your generation. Actually, I think mine too. No, I think Gen Z is the most narcissistic generation.

And speaking about it, like from someone who does social media, I realized I had these tendencies to like, oh, I want to be seeing in a certain way. And I have to come to terms that it's the ego that really wants a boost from external validation. Totally. And I have a lot of compassion for your generation because when I was your age, how old are you now? 27 now. Yeah, when I was 27, maybe we were just getting on Facebook. I was doing like email marketing. We were sort of on Facebook. I don't think Instagram was really even around yet. I mean, it was just not so consuming. It was really. we were using it as a social media.

Forget the word media. It was a social connecting tool, right? It wasn't trying to be seen. And it doesn't mean that people weren't trying to be seen in other ways, but it was so less extreme. And I just have so much compassion. While I think it's killer, like you've got so many more opportunities and like this is your whole career is based on this.

I think it's incredible. I just want to send a message to your generation just to say, you're enough. You're amazing. You don't need the external validation to know. that. And so I would encourage that person out there who's feeling like they have to be their branded person online. Yeah. To actually play around with what happens if they were just being more authentic, just less put together, less hooky. Right? Yeah. The hookie is really bothering me. It's

really bothering me. It's kind of lame. Yeah, you don't need a thousand hooks just to be yourself. It just sounds like so much peace, honestly. Yeah, I want that for you. That's such a powerful message for anyone listening because I was definitely struggling in that realm. Yeah. Another term very hot in pop culture and social media is manifest, where it was 2024's Cambridge Word of the Year. What are some things that pop culture and social media are getting absolutely wrong about manifestation? Uh-huh.

And what are some things that they actually got right? I think most of it's wrong, but I'm not surprised. What's right is that when you change your thoughts, you start to change your energy and your energy actually starts to create new frequencies. So much of these tricks that people are playing on TikTok and on social, just sort of even the Lucky Girl syndrome, I was like, I kind of have heard of this, but it's kind of a joke. We're all always manifesting. I think this is a very interesting point because for anyone who's not very in tune with the teachings

of spirituality, they might think, oh, if I manifest, it will happen. Yes. Without understanding that it's a continuous process. We're always manifesting. And so what does that mean? That means that we're always putting out a belief and an energy. The beliefs that we have carry energy and the energy that we emit from walking around carrying these beliefs, whether it's I'm a superstar or I'm unworthy.

Whatever that belief is is sending out a message to the universe. And the universe is always reflecting back to us the beliefs and the energy that we put out. We attract what we believe. Like I said, all the affirming or the say it a thousand times or write it a million times, whatever the bullshit it is. I'm sorry, I keep saying bullshit, but it is. It's not changing what you genuinely believe about yourself. It's like trickery. It is.

I do believe that affirmations have extraordinary power. So affirming, I am well. affirming, I am joyful, affirming, I am inspired, affirming, I am, I am, I am, I am. I love it. I believe it. I believe it. I believe it. I believe it. I believe it. I believe it. I believe it. I am believe it. I believe it does put you into this new direction of what you're focusing on. Love it. But I also believe that without the self-help practice, without the therapeutic practice, without the spiritual foundation, is not going to get you very far. Real manifesting, the real manifesting flex is to heal the beliefs that block you. I was in Australia on tour and I was in front of an audience of like 2,000 people and I was like, and these are all my readers.

I'm like, how many of you read The Universe has your back? Everybody's hands comes up. How many have read Super Attractor, which is my manifesting book? Everybody's hand goes up. How many have read my book self-help? You know, it says self-help and big red letter. Yeah. Like 10 people in the front row like the VIP.

I read it. I read it. Oh, go girl. I'm proud of you. And I laughed because I was like, you're all missing the miracle. Like that book, it's not the fun, sexy manifesting book. it's not all spiritual, metaphysical, but it's the book that it's going to heal you on the inside. And so when that actually happens, you start to heal the core beliefs inside of you, everything changes in your life,

everything. And I'm living that in real time right now. I've been doing that kind of self-reflective inner work for 20 years. And now it's as a devotional student of these practices and living it one day at a time. I'm free from so many of the burdens I've had when I was 27 years old. And it's a continuous process. Continuous process. Forever. You're going to keep going forever. You never stop the work. You don't stop the work ever. But your life gets so good that you're like, why would I? Oh, okay.

I think that's also a misconception a lot of people have where they're like, this is a one-stop shop kind of situation. Yeah, definitely. Misconception, yeah. What is the craziest thing you've ever manifested? When I was probably your age, I had a big dream of being on Oprah that at that time, social media wasn't the thing so much. And being on Oprah as an author was sort of like the Holy Grail.

and it was going to put you on the map. And I had this vision board where I put up all these images and I took a picture of Oprah interviewing somebody and I cut off the face of that other person. I put my face on it. And I'd sit in my meditation for a year, about a year I meditated. But I meditated on the feeling of seeing that image and feeling the feeling of what it would feel like to be sitting with her. And then about a year later, I wrote down on a piece of paper one morning.

I was just writing in my desk in my old apartment. I guess I was 30 at this point, maybe. and I wrote down, I'm going to be on Oprah. Like, it's happening. Like, I just felt it and psychically let it come out onto the notepad. About three hours later, I got this phone call from Chicago, an area code. It was Harpo Studios. And they were like, hey, it's Harpo.

We'd like to ask you to be on Oprah's Super Soul Sunday. And I was like, I've been waiting for this call. That was, of course, action. I'd written several books. I'd had a few New York Times bestsellers. I was doing spiritual work. I was really out there, but I was also in the energy of it. And I was in the flow of it.

And I was in the joy of it. And that vibration is picked up. You were having so much fun with it. It's powerful. And did you feel that joy when you were manifesting your partner? Yes, totally. So I met my husband when I was your age. And maybe the year prior to that, I would be walking the streets of New York City.

It was a really innocent time in New York, even though I was just a year sober. But it was just like really special time. I was like rollerblading all over the city going to 12th. meetings, like just to hanging out with friends. Like, I was really awesome. And the recovery scene in New York was really hip because it's like all the people used to party with. We're now in these, like, trying to get sober. So it's really cool, like all the hot guys, you know. And so I was rollerblading all over the city, no helmet, and the whole thing. I remember walking through the streets of the city. And I was like, visualize myself holding the hand of my beloved. And I would be walking

through the West Village, which is where I lived. And I live there still. And I was just holding this hands of my beloved and watching around with my beloved and I'd feel the energy of it. And I would, when I'd see other couples, instead of feeling like, oh, they have something I don't have, I would see that as driftwood. I would see that as, oh, they are a reflection of what I am attracting. And it just felt so good. And so year later, I met my husband. And now, of course, we're married now many years.

We're out coming up on our anniversary. And to this day, our favorite thing to do together is to hold hands and walk around the West Village. That is so sweet. So, you know, you not only manifest the partner, but you manifest the energy and the feeling that you're assuming. Got it. Would you say a key element to manifestation is being so specific about knowing what you want? I think being specific and then letting it go.

Oh. Because remember, if you're too specific, you're blocking the other opportunities. You're blocking the miracles. Okay. So a great example is I had a coach when I was about your age when I was attracting my husband. And she shared with me how she manifested her husband. So she had this list of non-negotiables of like what is it that she wants in this relationship. And then she had some list of nice to haves.

But the non-negotiables were the most important things. On the nice-to-have list, it was like he's tall, he's black, he's this, he's that. But then she had this non-negotiable list of he believes in me. He loves me. He's, you know, he's going to be loyal to me, all those things. She meets this guy, Corey, and he's got all these great qualities and she's really into him. But she's not thinking about him as a romantic. partner because he's short, white, and Jewish. So she's like, this isn't my guy because he's not

this tall black guy. But then she realized, no, he has all my non-negotiables. So if she had just been focusing on that tall black guy, she would never have found her beloved. You have to have the desire, but you also have to know it's non-negotiable for you, right? You have to be very clear. I want someone that's going to respect me. I don't think height or race or, you know, it shouldn't be the non-negotiable. The non-negotiables have to be the things that are so deeply moving to you, the things that you would never stand for anything else. So loyalty, these kinds of things. So I like that story. I love that.

Do you believe in soulmates? I think that we can have many soulmates in our life. I think even my son could be my soulmate in many ways, right? I think that it's not just about romantic love. It's about the souls that come into your path that have chosen to be on this journey with you in this lifetime. I believe that our spirits are before we are born. look at the world ahead and say, okay, I'm going to choose that life to learn these lessons and to have these experiences. And I think that there's collective spiritual energies that come

back into the world together again and again, multiple lifetimes to unlearn and to relearn and to relearn and to remember the messages of spiritual connection and love. And I mean that. I believe that and take it or leave it, everyone listening. So I believe that we could have many beloveds and many soulmates. I have a friendship, one of my best friends in the whole world. She lives in Australia. And we've been friends for 15 years. And even just now, as I think about her, I could just be moved to tears because there's such a soul connection. And when I was on tour about two months ago in Australia and I was walking the streets with her and all of a sudden I just looked at her and I was just like crying and we both were just like staring at each other in each other's eyes and just

like so moved by each other and such deep love and such deep friendship, like a familial energy. And I'm like, we've been together for lifetimes. Like you can see I'm emotional thinking about it right now. And so I think that happens with friends and with family members and partners and children. It's not just for one person. Absolutely. That's so beautiful. And I think a lot of people underestimate the value of relationships between friends and with family. It's not just so focused on I have to find that one person to fill up whatever void I have, which is not going to happen. You have to look for that romance and all kinds of relationships. Yeah. And I honestly think I have multiple soulmates as well. And yeah, two of them are with my best friends who are the true wealth and treasures of my life. That's right. Speaking about building, you know, wealth, love, abundance, I know before you became a spiritual teacher, you were a very

successful entrepreneur and you're the marketing queen running a PR business. How has your view on branding really shifted after becoming more spiritual? Kind of like I was saying earlier, I'm being authentic, then that's the brand. It's the reason I have readers, the reason I've built an audience is because I'm real. Yeah. I think the polished hookiness is going to be a pretty thing of the past. I think it's already turning the corner. I believe so. People are listening and they're like, I want to break through the noise. Be yourself. That's what I really want to hear people. Be themselves. I also think self-awareness is such an attractive trait and such an undervalued skill that not many people have. Do you have any advice on just giving people who may feel lost and have too much noise

around them and finding out who they truly are, especially younger people? Their minds have been just overwhelmed by social media and all the media out there. Yeah, I would really love to tell that generation, do as much offline as you can. It's really ruining your brain and it's ruining your self-esteem. Follow people like yourself that are giving good content. that are really offering good messages. And we all get hooked, right? We all get sort of in the loop. It's super addictive.

It's really detrimental to your well-being. I would say consciously create offline experiences. Go rock climbing. Go hiking. Go have a coffee with your friends and leave your phone in the car. How terrifying is that, right? No, it's great. No, I mean, I think I can see people be like, I can't do it, but do it, do it, do it.

It's very uncomfortable putting that phone away. For all of us, I mean, I'm not. even your generation, but of course it is, right? Last time I was at a dinner. I was like, I'm with really cool people. It was like pretty, really established humans in the world that were doing major things. Yeah. And I put my phone my back and I was like, like, because you know you could be at a dinner and you could still have your phone in your pocket or your phone next to me. I was like, oh, no way. I'm like, I threw my phone my bag and I didn't even look at it. And then I drove home for an hour with my friend in the car and I didn't even take my phone out of my back.

And I got to the place and I was like, do I even have my phone with me? And it was such a good feeling. Oh, that's such a good feeling. It's probably been like four hours that I hadn't even checked my phone. I think that's such a gift that you can give to yourself for free. It sounds simple and stupid, but it's probably the biggest thing you can do right now. I think a lot of times people are looking for what additional thing I can't bring in, but just like the unlearning, it's what things can I take out to increase the quality of my life. Yes. That's a good hook, honey. We don't do hooks here. We just deliver the value now. That's exactly. That was an authentic

hook. It's a statement, right? Yeah. That it's not what we put in. It's what we take out. That is so true. Speaking about very successful, wealthy, height, net worth people that you've come across a lot throughout your career, some of whom you've coached. Do you recognize a common pattern in their spirituality? Everybody just wants to feel good inside. They want to feel loved. They want to feel inspired, feel abundant, feel well. Everyone wants the same things. I think that the common theme, it doesn't matter how successful you are. Yeah. Everyone wants the same things. some of the most successful people are in the most chaotic states, too. That is true, because they no longer have the luxury of being present and following what they want to do. Do you see a common weakness in the quote unquote successful or high net worth people as well? Oh, yeah. I think a lot of entrepreneurs and successful people often come from a lot of trauma, myself included. We experience trauma as children and then as a result have a lot to prove to the world.

And so that can be the impetus for a lot of the successes. because there's a lot of work and a lot of effort to be seen and to be heard. Yes. Gets you some success, but you're still feeling that void inside if you don't do the inner work. At one point, it probably becomes a bottleneck to your next stage of success. Definitely. That's right. Did you ever come across a ceiling and then you're like, oh, I need to kind of remove something or do

additional work? I've been in such a pursuit of my own personal development for so long that I was moving through those ceilings seamlessly because I was doing the inner work. I never stayed stagnant in my own inner development. So I think that's how we grow. I don't even think I've even started my career yet. The growth is unlimited. Hasn't even started. Beautiful. I want to talk about signs a little bit. So in marketing, you look for market signals and then in spirituality, you look for signs. What are some signs that people can look for to know if they're on the right or wrong path? You need. You know you're on the right path when you're feeling like things are flowing naturally. You're not having

to effort so much. It's sort of like invisible doors are opening for you. And you're showing up and you're taking action. You don't feel pressured by it. You don't feel you're like you're judging yourself or you're overthinking things. You're just in the flow. You feel flow state. That's a sign from the universe that you're in sync, that you're in sync. We also receive, we can ask for signs from the universe. So we can say, for instance, one of my signs is like a blue butterfly. This morning I was getting annoyed about something. And I looked to the right and there was this huge blue butterfly on the wall. And I was like, okay, thank you, universe.

Like, chill out, right? So we can take these signs as guidance and messages from our divine guides and the energy of spirit to show us that we are indeed on the right path. Okay. It's the same thing in terms of, you know, finding a soulmate or finding whatever it is that someone is looking for. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Show me a sign. This is the right direction. How do you communicate with the universe? I pray. I meditate. So when I pray, I'm asking. Okay. When I sell my business, I want the best tax and investment advice. I want to help my kids, and I want to give back to the community. Ooh. Then it's the vacation of a lifetime.

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For guidance and when I meditate, I'm listening to that guidance. I write. I'm a channel, so I receive messages so I can hear spirit and I can hear the messages that are coming through for me. A lot of my writing is channeled material. I allow myself to get into a flow state. I'm out physically. I play a lot of tennis. I walk a lot. I am physically moving a lot. and that I feel as a way to connect to the universe and to feel that flow of energy coming through me. I try to create moments of presence. So just reading outside without a phone or device near me, that kind of stuff really creates that energy of presence.

Being with my son, huge. That's why you get rid of regard to their phones because you're blocking your manifesting on your phone. Let me tell you something about that. Oh, okay. I'm also curious. Sometimes we talk about gut feelings. And then at times when you're nervous about something, you also get that gut feeling like a tight feeling in your gut. So when is it intuition and when is it fear?

Intuition can also be a feeling of fear at times because it's guiding us in this direction of like leave that room or get out of this relationship. So that's something to pay attention to. But intuition is like a spark of knowing. It's an inner wisdom. It's a feeling or a sensation that you actually trust inside. Whereas ego or fear is often controlling or manipulative or sort of tense or very focused on an outcome. It's a different energy. It's a different frequency. And so intuition is going to always feel like it's being guided from a place of an inner sense of knowing, not an external should. Shoulds are like some red flags. Yes, they are. That I look for. I think a lot of people are also scared of tuning into their intuition where they've lost that

sense of trust with themselves and they don't know whose voice they're listening to anymore. Yeah. How can they rebuild that trusting relationship with their own inner self? Well, I think that you can be curious about what your inner sensations are and start to get attuned to what it feels like when you do trust yourself and what it feels like when you don't trust yourself because knowing the difference is very valuable. So I know for myself, if I'm in my ego, I'm talking fast. I'm not breathing. My heart's sort of like clenched or shut down, where I'm in my spirit, just in myself, I'm relaxed, I'm not overthinking things, I'm just allowing, I'm breathing properly, I feel at ease, I'm not controlling anything.

So knowing the physical sensations and the emotional feelings inside and knowing that difference. How does it feel to you, if you could describe it in words? I feel a buzziness. I can sometimes feel like this rush of energetic, it's almost like love energy moving through me, I'm just like excited and filled up and that buzzy feeling like when you're falling in love, like, ah, that feels so good. And free and breath and expansive and not overthinking and just in an energy of allowing. The energy of allowing. When you mentioned falling love, it almost sounds like a little bit of losing control as well. So tying back to the whole

surrender concept. Yeah, letting go of control. Yeah. That's amazing. I often, I often, in here in spiritual teachings of certainty beyond logic, I would say, this might be offending the spiritual community. So forgive me in a vest. But I want to ask, is it possible to be spiritual and rational at the same time? Yeah, totally. I mean, we can't be all in the spiritual realm. We're having a human experience, right? We have to know that we can't walk into traffic and we have to. So it actually is a very important thing. I've had many friends that are very deeply spiritual people, but they literally live in the clouds. You know, they have a hard time here on Earth, right? So you have to have the balance between our role here in this human experience and also what it means to be connected

to the spiritual realm at the same time. And so it's not about living two separate lives. It's about integrating those two lives. So it's living in the world, but thinking with the thoughts of spirit and grounding that into this experience. What are some practical ways to keep that rationality while being spiritual as well. Having spiritual practice is beautiful. The sort of obstacles and things we have to focus on and rationalize. That's the easy part. It's developing the spiritual part that's not always the easiest part. So developing that and having as part of your life creates that balance. And there are daily practices that you can do. I have an app. It's called the Gabby coaching app. It's epic. I have to give it to you if I haven't given it to you. We'll love to try.

In the next month, it's going to have my clone in it, my AI clone. So it's going to be, it's been fed 20 years of my entire journey of spiritual teachings and 11 books and all the talks I've given. And that will be extraordinary because you can just chat with me all day. It's pretty amazing. And then in the app are hundreds of meditations and manifesting challenges and trust the universe challenge and so many things. And I think that it's a coaching app for people who want to manifest and feel spiritually connected. Okay. Because I think a lot of people are interested in the topic. They want to learn more about the topic. But there's an overwhelming amount of information online. And having that specific guidance will be so helpful. Yeah. And I mean, if they're like, I don't want an app, as I shared with you earlier, I'm re-energizing my YouTube channel to be that for people who are like, I'm new to this. I want more. Okay, here's your first steps to spiritual practice and manifestation. I love that. And something that stood out to me in the book when you talked about,

finding purpose is quite refreshing what you said, finding your purpose doesn't require pain. And I think a lot of people, including myself, have equated pain with purpose. And a lot of times emotional intensity with love. I would love for you to elaborate on that because I think it will help a lot of the audiences. Well, I think that we are programmed to believe that it's a struggle to get to where we want to get to or we have to go through hardship to experience the things that we want or that it's not easier. And life isn't easy and we have these experiences that we have to transcend. But when we show up for those difficult experiences, looking at them through the lens of what can I learn from this? It's like a rite of passage and

more just like a experience we're living through and learning from. So I think that we can give ourselves some grace around not seeing, oh, the more I suffer, the more I'll succeed. It's no, just suffering is part of life and I'm going to show up for it. Yeah. And also, like you said, when you have your flow, that could be a sign that you're on the right path. Yes, that's right. Not necessarily you're like bleeding left and right to struggle. That's such a good reminder. And do you think money is a spiritual energy? Money and abundance are often reflection of what we believe about money and abundance. And that doesn't really matter what vocation you're in. Because even if you don't actually make a lot of money, you may be more abundant in the work that you currently do. Right. So if you have a career path, It wasn't the most abundant career path, but interesting creative opportunities for abundance open up for you. Or you get advancements in your work because of your abundant mindset.

So abundance is a mindset. Did you have to work to kind of be in that abundant mindset yourself? Yeah. When I was your age, I was really reprogramming my own abundance mindset big time. So it wasn't how it was brought up. Did you have scarcity mindset before? When I was growing up, I did. And then when I was in my early 20s, I had actually a real quantum shift.

I was like, oh, I can make money as I was promoting part. And I was like, I can make money. And I made that flip. I was like, I'm going to make money. I'm going to make money fun. Doesn't have to be hard. Yeah. I also grew up in a scarcity mindset environment. And it's a lot of unlearning. It's quite refreshing to learn about abundance and how limitless it is. What was it that really clicked it for you? I think for me, which isn't a typical scenario, when I recognized, oh, I actually have a skill that can generate income, I decided that that was going to be easy for me. I flipped it. I decided money is easy for me. Very young. That's not a typical scenario. It's a lot of undoing that you have to go through. For me, I was like, no, I see that I can do this. I'm going to make this fun. It's going to

make it easy. And I'm going to do things that bring me joy. And the rest was history. That's powerful. What do you think a lot of people get wrong about spirituality and business? They think that they're separate. I think so too. Yeah. They also. think spirituality and rationality are completely separate things. Totally. I think that you have to bring in your spirituality into your business to see that success expand. Has that helped you grow your business? Definitely. As a mother now, what is one trait you like your son to have? Kindness, number one. And how has been a mother changed you as a person? I definitely deepened my spiritual practice And deep in my understanding of my own ability to be present or my inabilities to be present at times and practicing presence in a big way.

Do you still find at times where you're unable to be present? I recognize I'm not being present by my way back. That's good awareness. Just, again, very authentic. I'm very brave of you to share that. Yeah. So it's a never-ending process of building that muscle. That's right.

Do you still have any fears? I'm very curious. Yeah. It's apparent a lot of fear. But I don't dwell in the fear. That makes sense. What are some tactics you use to kind of name the fear and to not necessarily react, but to continue pursuing what you love? I think you said it beautifully. You name the fear. You call it by its name. Oh, okay, that's some fear. And then I like to witness the fear and then forgive myself for

having that fear-based thought. And then I do a practice called Choose Again, which is I reach for the next best feeling thought. So I'll start reaching, okay, well, this is a fear that I keep thinking or I can see this through this different lens or I'm going to open up to this possibility and I start guiding my thoughts back to a higher vibration. I'm going to try practicing that. Yeah, it works. And what are you trying to attract or manifest in this chapter of your life? I am creating energy around my YouTube channel. Lovely. It sounds so silly at this stage in my life to be like, oh, let me focus on YouTube. I know that there's this audience of folks who are really hungry for this message and it's a place to find people where they're looking. And what's going to be on your channel? Well, my channel's filled with

lots of how to content. So it's how to deal with energy vampires or how to attract abundance or how to manifest fast 10 minute videos of me directionally teaching, how to raise your vibration fast, the secret to trusting the universe and letting the universe take over, these kinds of messages. It's really good. I'm really into it. Okay. I'm already intrigued. What is one way to raise your vibration fast? I think that one of the biggest ways to raise your vibration fast is to recognize all the thoughts that you have that are lowering your vibration. And to do similar to what I just share with you, like, forgive the thought and then reach for

the next best feeling thought, go reaching and reaching and reaching to the next best feeling thought through the choose again process. Yeah. I really love that. It kind of materializes your thoughts. I think they're visually. So I'm like, which one do I take out and throw away, basically? Totally.

What are some things that you wish more people knew about? you. People know a lot about me because I've written about all of it. Yeah. You're an open book, truly. I don't know. I think I say a lot. I just think I put it out there. That's great. Well, is there anything else that you want to share? First of all, you're excellent. We've covered so much here in a short period of time, like a lot of great questions. So I feel good. No, I just, I just think that really what I want for people is just to have more fun in their life and to just enjoy their lives more and to take things slow and with ease and to live with joy and not to feel so burdened. And so whatever it takes to get to that inner presence and joy is the path.

That's the biggest message I could leave. I think so. Before being introduced to spirituality, I was extremely anxious. I always felt like I was behind because I was constantly chasing after what my life should look like. And letting go of that has been such a groundbreaking experience, which is why I wanted to bring you onto the show and to share that wisdom with the audience as well because I think our generation is so young, but we're the fastest to burn out than any other generation in our 20s. And I'm like, here's a message I have for your generation too. It's beautiful. There's a lot of confidence. But there's this belief, this inherent belief, like, I should be this much further ahead or like, I deserve this now. And I just think that's really getting in

the way for folks. I think it's actually really sabotaging their successes. I think there needs to be more humility, like humble learning. humble learning and willingness to work hard. Yeah. I love that. Well, thank you so much, Gabby. Yeah, I hope I didn't offend anybody by saying that. But I think that if I were to give advice to a Jen Zier, I would say definitely be willing to find

that person, whether you're employed by somebody, find that boss and find out the five things that they need most and just do whatever it takes to get that done and ask how you could learn more and just try to learn as much as you can and not feel like I'm the president. today. Absolutely. I think you said it beautifully before where you just give out more of what you want to receive as well. It's all a circulating system. Yeah, it is. It really is. Well, where can everybody find more of you, your wisdom, your teaching? Go to my YouTube channel, Gabrielle Bernstein. Yeah, no, go check out my YouTube channel. Or I'm on Gabbyberstein on Instagram and deargabby.com. My podcast is called Dear Gabby. And she has more than the app. And I'm, I'm a little.

a ton of amazing books. Thank you. That will shift your mindset. Thank you. Thank you. It's so fun. Thank you. It's so good.

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