The Marketing Bestie Podcast with zoeunlimited - this. will give you REAL CONFIDENCE

Episode Date: October 24, 2024

This realization about confidence will CHANGE YOUR LIFE. How I became confident as an introvert. Learn & Grow with me. 💖 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/zoeunlimited/ 💜 TikTok: http://www.tiktok.com/@zoeunlimited 🧡 Threads https://www.threads.net/@zoeunlimited 💛 Snap https://www.snapchat.com/add/thezoeunlimited 👩🏻‍💻 LinkedIn www.linkedin.com/in/zoeunlimited 🛒 Essentials https://www.amazon.com/shop/zoeunlimited 📧 Business inquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Okay, when I sell my business, I want the best tax and investment advice. I want to help my kids, and I want to give back to the community. Ooh, then it's the vacation of a lifetime. I wonder if my head of office has a forever setting. An IG Private Wealth advisor creates the clarity you need with plans that harmonize your business, your family, and your dreams. Get financial advice that puts you at the center. Find your advisor at IG Private Wealth.com.

Have you ever spotted McDonald's hot, crispy fries right as they're being scooped into the carton? And time just stands still. Your data is like gold to hackers. They'll sell it to the highest bidder. Are you protected? McAfee helps shield you, blocking suspicious texts, malicious emails, and fraudulent websites. McAfee's secure VPN lets you browse safely, and... and its AI-powered tech scam detector spots threats instantly.

You'll also get up to $2 million of award-winning antivirus and identity theft protection, all for just $39.99 for your first year. Visit macafee.com. Cancel any time. Terms apply. I'm ready for my life to change. ABC Sunday, American Idol returns. Give it your all good luck. Come out of the golden ticket.

Let's hear it. This is a man's word. I've never seen anything like it. And a new chapter begins. We're going to Hollywood. Carrie Underwood joins Lionel Ritchie, Luke Bryant, and Ryan Seacrest on American Idol. Season premiere Sunday 8.7 Central on ABC and stream on Hulu. Four years ago, you would know me as this super awkward and quiet person who would not be the girl introducing herself to every stranger at a party, comfortably walking on carpets, or like a clown on the streets.

This is going really well with you guys. Interviewing celebrities and Christ putting yourself on the whole internet. In fact, you wouldn't remember me at all because I had zero confidence and wanted to hide myself. Hi. And it hurts me. Every time I see amazing girls and guys not taking the dream path they want to take. Not asking out the person they want to be with. Not becoming the fuller version of themselves that they could be.

Because they suffer from what I suffer from. lack of confidence. Listen, if you're human and trying to achieve some level of success, confidence can make or break you because very likely on your road to success, you'll encounter other humans. And confidence is like a magnet that not only attracts great opportunities, but great people. So very simple and straight to the point, I'm going to give you this life-changing discovery I made about confidence. And seven actionable steps you can take. to start living your beautiful, confident life.

Before we get started, I just want to say, everyone has insecurities. Everyone. It's normal. Those who say they don't are either lying or are psychopaths who are not self-aware. But here is the thing. I used to think if you have the slightest insecurities, you are not confident.

You cannot be confident. But actually, insecurities and fears are the necessary. stepping stones toward confidence. Our realities are nothing more than the stories we continuously tell ourselves. What I believe for the longest time is that confidence is a feeling. The feeling that you own the world, the feeling that you're the hot shit, that you can do anything. And yes, sometimes it is. But that is not the only definition of confidence. Confidence is actually an action before it becomes a feeling. I'll say this again, confidence is an action first and then feeling second.

If you could just take one thing away from today, it is that the act of confidence comes before the feeling of confidence. It is the action of you going into the gym despite being overweight, despite feeling like you don't belong there. It is the action of you giving that big speech in front of a huge crowd, despite feeling the nerves down your spine. It is the action of you starting your dream. career despite everyone telling you that you'll fail, you'll embarrass yourself and end up broke.

By the way, all of which were scenarios I've experienced my life. And through each mini-rep of the action, I built up my muscle of confidence. Get this. This episode is brought to you by Shopify. Upgrade your business with Shopify, home of the number one checkout on the planet. Shoppay boosts conversions up to 50%, meaning fewer cards going abandoned and more sales going cha-ching. So if you're into growing your business, get a commerce platform that's ready to sell wherever your customers are. Visit Shopify.com to upgrade your selling today. Confidence and insecurities are not mutually exclusive. In fact, in order to gain confidence, you almost need to go through an emotional rollercoaster by staring your insecurities straight

in the eyes until through repeated practice that you and that very insecurity can coexist. Notice how I didn't say you need to eliminate. it for there's no such thing as a hundred percent secure fear is an evolutionary mechanism that keeps us on edge it keeps us sharp it drives us to continuously grow and improve so tip number one build a new relationship with fear instead of thinking oh I can't be a creator or a model because I'm not confident and I feel embarrassed to take photos and videos of myself out in the public embrace that feeling of discomfort. If you're not uncomfortable, you are not growing. It is the hard truth,

but if you're not pushing yourself to be uncomfortable, you're not growing. And the act of pushing yourself to an uncomfortable position is the only way to expand your confidence level, which brings me to the super important point of tip number two. Everyone has confidence. What do I mean by that? If I were to ask you, how confident are you to ride a unicycle on a stretch wire between two cliffs. You probably answer, not that much. But if I were to ask you, how confident are you to breathe out of your nose? Chances are, you'll probably say very confident I can do it with my eyes close. Why? Because you've done it so many times that it is now second nature. You see, hustle culture has over-glorified confidence, where if your net worth is below 50 million,

if you have less than a million followers on Instagram, if you're not Forbes 30 under 30, you almost don't you qualify to say that you're a confident person but the amazing thing is no matter how far away from confidence you think you are if you think hard enough you are you are confident at something whether it's as simple as brushing your teeth or a weird talent of yours like moving your flexible knuckles um i can do it on this hand too none of these things you actually intentionally think about on a daily basis and because tip number three confidence comes with the right practice you probably no longer break a sweat when asked you write your name down anymore and can do it with

great confidence that you can do it well on the first try why is that I'm sure when you first picked up a pen and tried to make a scribble it was not as smooth the same applies to everything else most of the time we mistaken the feeling of unfamiliarity with the lack of confidence when in reality it is just the beginning stage of building new confidence. Because if you think about confidence as an action, as a process of accumulation, kind of like building a muscle.

A, there is no limit to how confident you can become at something because the more you do something, the more that eerie feeling of unfamiliarity goes away. And B, it is super comforting to know that, although it might not come naturally, confidence comes with repetition. Right? The action of confidence comes before the feeling. The more you vlog in public, the more you see yourself as a vlogger.

The more you show up at the gym, the more you see yourself as a healthy person. The more you pick out cute outfits, the more you see yourself as a fashionable person. And the more you socialize, the more natural you become. Funny story, just like two days ago, I was at a Fenty Beauty party. The fact that I just like went to the bathroom, saw some girls taking cute photos, and then I was like, hey, can you take that for me? And then we just started talking and became friends and took really great photos. That to me is insane because literally three, four years ago, I was the most anti-social and shy person

who will be like running away from people, just like hiding in the corner or just making up like 10 million excuses to not go to parties or even be invited to them. So social awkwardness also goes away with practice as you gain that confidence. The repetition not only gets you into the rhythm of the action of confidence to them, bring on the feelings of confidence. It also reinforces a new identity in you that serves as a foundation of your newfound confidence. Tip number four, external versus internal image. Going off of identity building, there is something crucial to point out here, which is the external versus the internal image we have of ourselves, meaning how the world sees us versus how we see us. More often than not, the world needs some time to catch up with how you see yourself.

So don't be discouraged when you first start something like your fitness journey and begin to see yourself as a fitness girlie, but the world hasn't caught up yet and still thinks that you're the old you who hates working out and loves to eat junk food all the time. Well, everyone's busy. So don't depend on that external image people are trying to project onto you. If I were to accept that shy, quiet, bland image everyone had of me from years ago, I wouldn't be able to finally let out my true self and pursue content creation and do fashion, fitness, all that fun stuff.

Almost anyone I haven't seen in four years would tell me, oh my gosh, like I never thought you'd be the type of person to do YouTube and have any level of success. And I'm not offended at all because I'm growing fast as a person and it's not my job to help everyone else catch up on my growth. I'm growing fast and it's not my job to help anyone else keep up. Your internal image changes first and then the external will follow. And if you derive your confidence from something external like money, fame, likes on your Instagram post, that just means you'll forever let everyone and everything else determine your worth rather than creating that worth within you and then letting the world learn.

Number five, garbage in, garbage out. Your mindset is your biggest asset and the only thing you can control in this world. So be very aware of what influences your thoughts on a daily basis. Are you spending three hours scrolling through TikToks and overly perfect Instagram feed all day? Or are you feeding your inner world with books, podcasts, content that will drive you closer toward the person you want to become? If you know enough to not eat a pack of MSG and drink a good. gallon of food colorings every single day. The same thing goes for your mind. Just as you wouldn't feed something toxic to your body, why feed something so bad for your mind? Why spend all your life

invested in the lives of other people like models and celebrities who will make you feel bad about yourself and damage that internal image that you're trying to build up? Test test. Okay, so I ran into an audio issue and basically have to refill. It's okay. I got this. Consume content you know align with your goals and follow people who inspire you to become the better version of you, who encourage you to take the actions toward confidence. Tip number six, brag sheet. Everyone and I mean everyone has at least one moment they are extremely proud of. I don't care if it's when you won a huge award or just helped someone on something small. Create a brag sheet for yourself so that you remember all the

instances where your actions built you to be the better version you want to be. For instance, for me, it's when a subscriber told me that she got an A on her final because she watched one of my videos and it's when Olivia Rodrigo tells me that she watches my videos all the time. I watch my videos all the time, I'm like so special. It's me graduating UCLA with a major and minor in three years with Summa Cum Laude. It's me on a streak to go to the gym at least five times a week. For the past few years, our realities are nothing more than the stories we continuously tell ourselves. Your brachshy will remind you all the actions you took that brought you closer to the more confident,

better version of you want to be, and the feeling of confidence will follow. Tip number seven, be unapologetic. You don't live for other people. Not that I don't struggle with this. As a person on the internet, I constantly get hate. I constantly get my words and intentions twisted and misinterpreted. Does it hurt? Yeah, absolutely.

But will it stop me from the action of confidence? Fuck no. You need to understand. People's opinions of you reflect more of themselves than of you. For example, my parents thought my choice of becoming a content creator is an absolute joke because they have no experiences or exposure to making a living with creating videos. So they don't see the potential because of the limits. in their experiences.

If you want a certain life for yourself, you don't owe the world an explanation, period. For they're not getting that hot body you have for going to the gym, they're not having an amazing career with an authentic online community you're growing, they're not in a beautiful relationship you're in for not being embarrassed of asking the person out. When I first started YouTube and was still super shy and embarrassed about it, Hi. It's Zoe. It's Zoe.

How cool is that? Some very insecure people from high school decided to make fun of me about it. And that is their reality. They are limited to their beliefs. While I decided to push through and act on getting my reps in to make videos after videos. So embrace the subtle art of not giving a fuck. The real confidence you build cannot be taken away by other people because it's built through real solid actions. So remember, the action of confidence comes before the feeling of confidence. And the fact that you're watching this video and learning about confidence is already a step in action.

So cheers to your journey of becoming the more confident you. If you're new to the channel, join the Unlimited Squad where we grow together. I'll see you next week. Frozen lasagna, medium power, 15 minutes. Sounds like Ojo time. Let's play. Fun with Play-O-Joe, the online casino with all the latest slot and live casino games. What you win is yours to keep with no wagering requirements, instant payouts, and no minimum withdraws.

Hey, I just won. Woo-hoo! Feel the fun! Play-O-Joe! Honey, forget about the lasagna. Let's celebrate! 19 plus Ontario only. Please play responsibly. Concern about your gambling or that of someone close to you, call 16-531-2600 or visitconnectsontoreo.ca.