The Marketing Bestie Podcast with zoeunlimited - why you think you're ugly

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Starting point is 00:01:42 Ugliness or beauty is all dependent on your perception. Ever wondered how such a low perception of yourself was even formed in the first place? Well, let's jump right in and do some digging. This is a nightmare. Displacing all my organs, recreated my bone structure. Look at all of these options available to me. I can get a six-pack, I can get bigger boobies. I'm pressing tiny little buttons, and all of a sudden, I don't know like me anymore.

Starting point is 00:02:04 I can't even remember what I look like. Hello, friends. Welcome to another commentary-esque-type video and talk about why is it so common for guys, girls, adults, teens, children, humans to feel ugly. I guess we'll never know. I know. We'll be talking about some toxic trends, filtered illusions, and unrelated. expectations as well as is there a true definition to beauty what are some actions you can take to stop these self-deprecating feelings so why does any of these matter well maybe the fact that your perception of yourself is highly correlated with how you project yourself externally to society perhaps to the point that it is hindering your ability to thrive or exert your full potential a study reports that at age 13 53% of American girls are unhappy with their bodies. This grows to 78% by the time girls reach 17.

Starting point is 00:03:19 When you look at Quora threads, like how does it feel to be an ugly teenager? It is flooded with answers. Like it feels pretty goddamn terrible, shameful, like a personal failure, a shortcoming you can't make up for. I used to bring myself to tears thinking about how disgustingly hideous I am. like a literal monster, gross, gross, gross. It feels like hell. It feels sad, depressing, hurtful. The amount of pain in these comments just shows how feeling ugly can be so debilitating.

Starting point is 00:03:57 But, holy crap, did you know that you are actually in control of how beautiful versus ugly you feel? Before you tell me, no, only genetic. can determine that and maybe plastic surgery you have actually fallen into the trap of a victimized perception of your self-worth and to truly understand how this perception was formed in the first place let's take a look at toxic trends oh my gosh why what the hell like this is the third siren and i've only been filming for five minutes toxic trends when we talk about toxic trends

Starting point is 00:04:42 How can we not mention TikTok? Don't get me wrong, I love TikTok for all its creativity and fun and food videos. But dare I say the powerful black hole algorithm paired with toxic trends is a powerhouse for the birth of insecurity and self-hate, especially for a younger demographic still solidifying their self-perception. There are trends like seeing how symmetrical versus asymmetrical asymmetrical your faces through the inverted filter and the winners get bragging rights

Starting point is 00:05:17 whereas the others who fail does dumb standard feel disappointed to the point that they cry normal oh my god i stand corrected please delete this yes imagine having a weak self-esteem already and trying the so-called beauty trend only to be crushed again really idea what I look like. Why does she look... A girl, cackete la verga. Well, you, cajate, because, look. All of you, cajete, lavera. Not very healthy.

Starting point is 00:06:03 I've mentioned this before, but over 47.4% of TikTok users in the US are under 29. When your worldview and view of yourself is still growing at an early age, exposing yourself to these trends can really distort your perception of beauty. beauty and self-worth. Trends as random as if your finger touches your lips. You are attractive. Or this filter lets you know if you have a full lip or not. Or you are...

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Starting point is 00:07:58 yes it could be food you will still get these trending videos popped on your feed in some way and this was discussed in one of salem's videos where tictock has an intrinsic beauty algorithm that constantly assesses a creator's nose width forehead inclination skin smoothness and health where people with greater beauty score gets a favorable push by the algorithm and explains why a lot of mega influencers who went absolutely viral kind of have a similar aesthetic and facial attributes this basically normalizes beauty as one type of look and creates an obsession for people to either achieve this look

Starting point is 00:08:39 or feel ugly and insecure part two filtered illusions and unrealistic expectations I feel like a grandma saying this, but unfortunately we don't live in a straightforward reality anymore. From the selective things we show people online with the help of lighting, to filters, to FaceTune, to God knows what's next, to a silent competition of social currency where your worth and attractiveness is somewhat implied in the number of likes and followers you get. It's not hard to feel inadequate when everything you see is extra polished and sometimes not even According to the social comparison theory first proposed in 1954 by psychologist Leon Fastinger,

Starting point is 00:09:24 people have an innate drive to evaluate themselves often in comparison to others. It's not rocket science that we form judgments of ourselves based on analyzing the self in comparison to others. For example, you might be the fastest runner in your class since grade school, and that's how you came up with your identity as I am a fast runner. But say you got selected to train for the Olympics and suddenly you're surrounded by athletes who trained for years and your speed is dropping to the bottom of the list. You're going to have an identity crisis where you can no longer perceive yourself as a fast runner if you base your self-worth comparatively to the Olympic athletes. Does that mean your speed dropped at all? No.

Starting point is 00:10:08 In fact, even if you improve your speed but still lagging behind others, you will still feel inadequate in comparison. This is very similar to our social media landscape these days. Except everyone is an Olympic athlete on 10 different types of steroids living their filtered, perfect, glamorous lives. The moment I start speaking a single word. Yes, upward social comparison or comparing oneself with someone judged to be better than oneself. For example, by having more wealth on material goods, higher social standing, greater physical attractiveness, can't indeed promote inspiration and be associated with pop.

Starting point is 00:10:56 positive changes and self-concept, aka the assimilation effect. But just a reminder to not take everything you see as upward comparison at face value. You can fake a lifestyle by renting a fake private jet studio for $49 in 99 an hour. You can fake your arms, your legs, your abs, your butt, your absolute everything, and a click. Even in videos. Haley Madigan Fitness on Instagram and more and more influencers are being brave and calling it out. These are the filters that you've seen in your Instagram story.

Starting point is 00:11:39 You've probably used them. It's fine. They're sinister. I don't love them. But here we are. More dangerous, I think, is the parrids filter because it's so subtle. Here's my monobrow. And shush, it's gone. Be warned of that. Okay. Then there's Face Tune. Something definitely to be aware of. I know we've talked about it before. But look at this. Displacing all my organs, recreated my bone structures.

Starting point is 00:11:55 If it's nothing, then there's this out where I can get a six-pack. I can get bigger boobies. I can get a f***ing kill of suntan. And I haven't even got to do anything. Right. Then there's this, which kind of epitomizes all of the things that are wrong with social media at its current state. Don't mean to be negative, but let's be honest, this is a nightmare. How many times have you compared yourself to someone that you've seen on the internet? Oh my God, I wish I had her skin.

Starting point is 00:12:13 I wish I had her hair. I wish I had her teeth. How do you even know she's got those things? Look at this fucking up. Look at all of these options available to me. I'm pressing tiny little buttons and all of a sudden I don't know like me anymore. I can't even remember what I look like. What is that smile?

Starting point is 00:12:24 Is that my smile? I don't know. All I really know is while I've been making this video. I've been sitting here looking like this. This is the only thing that's real. Love you. Bye. Part three. Is there a definition of beauty?

Starting point is 00:12:34 So in the end, the million dollar question, what is beauty? And how to heal your self-perception from all the noise going on in social media and toxic trends? First of all, there is no one single definition of beauty. Talk about the lack of diversity in the definition of beauty, especially in favoring your centric features as seeing in health filters distort. our faces. But as we know it, beauty isn't and shouldn't be one size fits all. Beauty or ugliness is simply a perception. And you know what's powerful about that? You? Yes, you are in control of your own perception.

Starting point is 00:13:16 While you may have given toxic trends, social media, the power to override your control of that perception, you can actually take it back. The danger is when you call yourself ugly, so many times that you believe it might be true. Sure, others can perceive you differently however they like, but their perceptions are a reflection of themselves and has nothing to really deal with you. So before you call yourself ugly the next time, ask yourself the following question. Am I choosing to perceive myself as ugly? Why?

Starting point is 00:13:50 And remind yourself that your self-worth isn't determined by the inverted filter, the next hot TikTok trend, or the addicting Instagram and TikTok. and TikTok algorithms. It is by you. So that's all I wanted to share today. Don't forget to like and subscribe and follow me on Instagram to join me on my growth journey and I will see you next week.

Starting point is 00:14:12 Bye.

The Marketing Bestie Podcast with zoeunlimited - why you think you're ugly

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