The Matan Show - Andy Dick Shows Up Intoxicated and Punches Matan

Episode Date: April 6, 2025

Hello everybody welcome back to the podcast for today's guest we have Andy Deek welcome in now come in sit in the middle and for today's co-host we have my manager viral flooring welcome in viral flooring. Excuse me. If you pull the mic close to your mouth and then please why don't you pull this close to your mouth yeah and then please in case anybody doesn't know you please introduce yourself hi which there's 15 cameras. Yeah, and then please in case anybody doesn't know you please introduce yourself. Hi Which there's 15 cameras look in the middle one and introduce yourself. I'm Andy dick. I'm our

Skew I'm a movie star television star Just star all around you seem extremely intoxicated right now. I Could be more or what are what are you on right now drunk? This and that and here hither and thither. Let me ask you something. Okay, did your dad or mom? You're not gonna like that. Did they used to drink no None of them. We've never done any drugs or... We? My mother...I've never done anything. I've never even drinking alcohol. My mother is in jail right now.

But you seem...you're asking for weed outside, which is legal. But are you on anything else that's illegal? No. You mean cocaine? No, I'm not. Nothing like that? Do you have any? I don't. I'm a clean cut guy.

I tell you what, you're looking good. Yeah, I tell you what you're looking good Kid looking good. Are you gay? Is that is that on your list of questions? Yes and Then no you're not Are you gay? I said no, that's good to hear. It was just that question weirded me out I was gonna save that for later Well, you spilled it out right? Yeah, that weirded me out a little bit. Oh, cuz you think I'm trying to get up on you. Yeah, stay away But I'm not I

Just didn't know because you all you asked to bring some of your boyfriends here, so I just wanted to make sure I didn't Boyfriend I don't have boyfriend that's what you said no no no are you not worried that if you don't get sober soon you might end up like a ghoul from fallout? like a what? a ghoul basically a zombie I mean you're almost there you're 90% of the way there

that's not much different from one of your roles I am right so I'm already there oh wait what's what's he going? Can I see what's in that? Are you not worried about that though? Worried about what? Seems like you are. I mean, I'm on, I'm a caring guy, I feel kind of bad. Boo hoo, climb me a river, doll. Okay, well I'll take that as a no. Do you think your friends would be doing you a favor by putting you down already? Oh? My god, I have friends. Oh, we have a fungus growing out of the eye. Oh That poor thing what is it do we need to get some? That poor thing what is it do we need to get some?

Sorry about that. There's a fungus growing out. It's a fungus is it is it on you as well? No, there's nothing in here. It's just that table has a fungus Sorry about that Oh my Sorry about that there's and there's no fungus in here. That's the fungus. Well there was something going on over up in here. Something in this table I don't see anything. What what I'm here to do a normal interview. Normal interview yeah.

Can you do do you have the capability of doing that? That it's not normal so far. Oh my god That is Okay, Larry is isn't oh you have ninjas under your table No, that's my co-host when my manager viral flooring is not able to be here What what happened you didn't understand what I said? Oh My manager I thought that

was your manager that's my manager yes and he's also the co-host yeah where's my money talk to him man he doesn't talk to me we just do business I'm trying to do business huh Oh What? This is scaring me I think if you wake up tomorrow you will remember this interview I Don't remember what I ate for breakfast Well, that's easier to forget but I have a feeling you don't remember anything. Yes, and why do you think that is dementia dementia what about the fungus maybe he's in you have a fungus in your brain possibly or no well there's I have one right here and he is trying to get in my

butthole no he's not that I had see your day you're doing good. Stay away from me I'm right here. I'm in it. Yeah, but keep distance from me. I'm over here And keep distance from my manager viral flooring, I don't want the gay stuff Oh, so you want that your manager is a viral hepatitis C No, my manager's name is viral flooring. He makes floors explode and doesn't just a fungus. I Don't want any fungal me. There's a fungus among us. Fungus among us? Like the video game?

Is that your reference? No, I'm just saying what's going on. Matan, you're great. Okay, thank you. Would you rather have the eyes of a Jew or the nose of an Asian? Hey, let me think about what Who wrote these me The eyes of any writers of a Jew or the nose of an Asian correct

or the nose of an Asian? Correct. Both. Both? I'd love to look like an Asian Jew. Oh no. Wait let me switch it. I want the eyes of an Asian. The eyes of an Asian? No but it's the nose of an Asian or the eyes of a Jew. No eyes of an Asian mmm nobody knows of an Asian or the eyes of a no But I'm switching it up on you. I want the eyes do that do with both eyes. Okay. I'll do it for you China tell me to my come here for a second Chinese Dirty knees look at that Chinese Japanese You need to put this down for a second. You need to put this down for a second put the top down I don't like it. I don't have them steal it from you get out of here Bye Why is your ex-wife such a bitch for getting a restraining order on you for breaking in through the windows?

Did you Google me I did some research yes It's odd that that's one of the first things that will come up Is it for real that's are you asking if that's like that is that true that that's one of the first things or that You did that? Did what she's the one that got the restraining she's a bitch for that wait a minute okay no you said it now I'm thinking okay now you're on to something I'm thinking about it now why did you break in through the window I didn't break huh you broke in through the window I need to break into your sheets that's fine but they're not a I mean I wouldn't get a restraining order on you

but why did you break in through the window? I didn't It's established by the police Call the you know call the cops what call in was We all know it happened there's a fungus wheel the table You know what you know what you want to get my wife on the phone no she's a bitch for for oh I have a present for you. Oh, no keep everything away from me. Oh, dude is that shit on that No Shit on a shirt. Oh, I've been me blood blood even worse you look like you have AIDS Wait a minute. I have

Yeah, I Wait a minute. I actually did you hear him I? Look like I have it can you sign this for me? I want to sell it You're gonna get 50 cents How ow? Fuck wrong with you. Hey, man. I didn't mean for that to happen Bullshit that what happened sign that I was trying to shock the gay how I heard your gay I know you denied it but I don't believe you you look I mean we're already filming in West

Hollywood hey man stay away from him get up over of it yeah stay away please get your fucking you know what being gay is right that disease. What does it mean? It's that disease? Stay away get off of me Oh My eyes. Oh my you keep forgetting that he's there because you're so high and you just keep seeing him I'm not high. Does anybody have any plant? No, what's in there?

No, I don't mean high off weed. I mean you're high off like fentanyl. Oh, where? No. You know I did die. You know I did die. You died? I heard and then a fat guy resuscitated you.

Is that correct why does he have to be fat that's just the story I heard and then you got mad that he was fat this is what I read online when I was doing my research so you actually do research yeah a lot of research why don't you go back to your research. What's going on here. What the fuck is going on. Oh my God. Your people are not being nice to me. They're being nice. That's not my guy. That's growing out of the table. You think I want that there. Do you want some of my blood? Please get that away from me. Thought you wanted my blood. Is somebody more likely to turn out gay if their parents are cousins?

That's a... what? You don't get it? It doesn't... no. You know what being gay is right that genetic disorder yeah you hey man what hey man you know to get up on gay up on me I didn't do that in your direction because I knew you're oh My Christ homemade can you get this you play he's there

Yeah, I do know I'd refer thing. He's part of the table. There's a fungus Among us. Yeah, you said that I'm gonna some m among us. I know I'm saying it again There's a fungus among us Yes Why is the cop you're drinking out of? Disgusting looking have a sit now get that away. Oh, by the way, I wanted to ask I didn't have this ring I'm just noticing you now. Why are your nails black? Yeah, wait are they that's how I like them that's that's really disgusting I mean I don't take showers so I can save

time but even my nails I mean they don't look like that I made this you made that it's clear yeah I spit up in a I usually if somebody was doing that with dirty nails like that I would think they'd get a disease but you're your patient zero with it so I don't know if red 40 is so bad why does my dad start shaking with with excitement every time I give it to him? What are you reading? Let me see this notebook. Who's asking these? Me, I'm right here. And then the next one?

I'll ask the next one in a minute. You have to answer that one first. I didn't hear it. Okay. If Red 40 is so bad, why does my dog start shaking with excitement every time I give it to him? Red 40? I don't know what that is. Is that chemical they put in red drinks like Gatorade or a fruit punch or something. Do you want some? No it's not in that thing stay away from me. You know what it's not red.

It's not red. Brown like what hang on a minute where are you from is Israel. No no. Why are you mad about that why you. No. Don't accuse are you mad about that? Why you know? Don't accuse me stuff like that. Okay, you're But you're from What are you spitting on? Yeah, yeah. Hey Watch it

What I'm asking you where you from? I'm from Los Angeles With that accent. Yeah yeah I've been training it I used to sound like not like you but more like a normal person but I trained it to sound professional you guys you guys have to help me out it what's in that box again hmm Can I see Can you make him open it up no, he's my manager he decides what I do I Know that's why I'm asking you. Can you make how can I do it if I try that?

He has self-defense the Second Amendment. He'll shoot my goal. This is a Parasite. Yeah, it's a fungus. Oh parasite yeah it's a fungus oh get him away as bad get him away from me yeah well he'll keep his distance from you if you keep your distance from me let's continue you didn't answer the last question but I don't think I'm getting an answer to any of these what's the last question we'll move on is asking if you're sober similar to asking if a bear shits in the woods I identical and why can you explain that in case the audience get it I'm not sober yes and bears shit in the woods yes next nice you at least I got an answer. That's good.

What the? At what point in your life did everything go wrong? Doing this fucking interview. No, it was way before that. Really? How long? About six decades ago. Six decades ago.

So, 40 years ago. No, six decades ago. So, six decades. That means 60 years. That means I was 10. No, you're 59. Yeah. So, you weren't 10. So, six. You that means six years. That means I was 10. No, you're 59. Yeah. So you weren't 10. So six.

You were not born yet. I'm saying it went wrong when you were in the womb. You know, why don't you talk to my mom about it? Who's alive? She's alive, that's nice. Is your mom alive? She's in prison. Or jail, whatever.

I get those two mixed up. This is the same thing. Is that true, buddy? she's in prison or jail whatever, I get those two mixed up that's same thing is that true buddy? yes I'm sorry no it's a good thing I got those charges put on her you did?

yeah I worked with a lawyer why would you do it? did she hit you or something? no she was very nice I was trying to take control of her assets. Because why? Like the watches and all. No, no, she was normal. I just wanted to take control of the jewelry so I could sell it. That's the honest truth.

You don't believe me? I just don't understand it. You put your mom in prison. She's in prison currently. Yeah, she'll be out in like 40 years Okay, this is when you're just fucking with me. I don't like that I'm not bullshitting you but I mean promise I'm not gonna promise anything So if I promise something to you, it'd be a sin against God

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Whose insurance is responsible if two people crash into each other on purpose? Whose insurance is responsible if two people crash into each other on purpose? Whoever has the best insurance is that how that works? Yep You said that with confidence. Are you familiar with the situation? Is that how that works? Yep. You said that with confidence. Are you familiar with this situation? No, I don't drive a car on purpose.

Yeah, that would be extremely dangerous. You'd be gone. For you, I'd go right to your house and crash it right into your motherfucking house, dog. I don't think if I gave you the address, I feel like you'd just go in circles and think you're getting somewhere. Can you write down the address, I feel like you just go in circles and think you're getting some you write down the address I need a little notebook devil get out in Jesus name get out Jesus name get out devil. I compel you to get out now. Oh

Here's a normal pen It's actually a marker I Want to touch any of your pens? and What am I right right now I'm what do you I don't even know where you're right right whatever you want on it okay no you have to press it oh you have to press it there's no ink in it yet no we No, we press the back of it Let me see it say good luck This is another shock pen. I'm not sure how I was trying to get you again

Jesus name get out devil gay, huh? Wait, oh Get out, devil gay! Pah! Oh my god. Oh my god, it sounds like the devil's up in you. No I'm getting it out of you, hopefully. How much are you paying your current wife to remain as your wife? That's a dumb question, genius I know here's what you should change that to how much is she getting out of me I would imagine nothing exactly now kid got it well you when before we did it now you interview you asked me to send some money to your wife that's why I'm asking you said she wanted money

for the interview to get her off my back yes is that I mean yeah you're on do it now did you say the n-word no I said you're on Sorry about that I got confused. Go on sorry about that go ahead. No yeah she needs money. Yes why does she need money you cannot provide it? No I can't. Yes your wife asks for money. Wait hang on man. Why do I have to provide money for my wife? You are the man. Well you're not. Hey who do you provide money for my wife you are the man well you're not hey who do you provide my bar don't touch me please I don't want that genetic disorder or AIDS pay them and everything looks fine I don't pay him that's a fungus among us

where is the best place to get free money without working? Is this the question you're asking me? Yeah Wait, say it again? Where is the best place to get free money without working? I'm not gonna say it What I wanna say, I'm not gonna say it Go ahead Next question

Oh no, if you're insinuating like prostitution that is working No, it's Can I hear the next question? No, let's stay on that one. I want to get an answer to it. I wouldn't know and You know what? Here's how here's here's Here's here's Excuse us. We're trying to do a show up. Yeah, this is live right now. Yeah, I got You doing good

What are you doing go? Go Good stay away from me. Please stay back. I'm over here. What the fuck? You know what? Are you guys good? Where is Billy? Because I need- Billy? Yeah.

My friend who took me here. Is he out? I don't know. You brought a couple people with you. There's like six people but I locked them outside to not have a Bobby Lee situation. Bobby Lee? What happened with that? I don't know. Apparently you brought 11 people to South. No, but what happened with the Bobby Lee situation?

You brought a lot of crazy trouble. But what are you bringing up Bobby Lee about? What? What? I'm not getting this. Stay away from me, please. I am staying away. I can't hear you. What's up with Bobby Lee? Did he do something weird? No, you did a podcast with him five years ago. Okay, and you brought a lot of crazy people into his home And I'm just locked all those guys out to make sure it doesn't happen again But why wouldn't you want?

They all look like they have diseases There's nothing down here Why wouldn't you want it to happen? They all look like they have diseases Would it be good if it happened to... Oh There's nothing down here Somebody What's up? You saw the guy in there Next question And then I need to go see one of my boys

I imagine your life is like GTA Everyday you wake up in a random place And have to find your way back Yes, that's true. Next next. I said yes. Yes Why is it illegal to dig up someone's body and sell it? Well, I don't know that You don't know It sounds illegal on every level why it is illegal. Why I? It sounds illegal on every level why it is illegal why I

Don't know. I'm not no strong arm of the law. You know what I'm gonna be the strong Okay next oh my god is scaring me I'm trying to shock the gay out of you like Darth Pence Next do you want to bring your friend in here? I'll bring out. I'll let one guy in Billy well I'm gonna have to Billy you why can you not do that? No, I'm locking them up Don't want it. Don't I? Just get Billy up here and by the way and tell Billy I need another

Nice going everybody Hey picture Can I fix your... Can you fix it please? Thank you, buddy. Stay here for a second. Talk to the... Now, now, okay. Can you talk to the... They're recording it. I'll have the setup over here, bro. Now... Can you fuck is going on? What are you? Oh.

What the fuck? You know, did I tell you my idea about having a blue sheet behind me? Light blue. Oh. Light. Sheep light blue. Oh light You know he's he it's very hard to make me laugh, but this boy makes me laugh Now I just put the one shot on you onto that camera, that's your director's camera here He's directing a documentary. Oh Now I just put the one shot on you onto that camera. That's your director's camera here.

He's directing a documentary. Oh. That guy outside, you don't even know his name. Why did he put a paper plate in front of the camera? You did. No, I didn't. No, the director did, bro. He's a dumbass. Adam did. Now he doesn't have any footage.

What? Adam did not, take it off. No, no, don't take it off. You can't touch it. Dude, don't touch it. But it's his set. You have to leave it like that. No, no, leave it like that. Don't take it off.

Oh, I'll tell you. Come on. You need to step back. Step back, please. Go back. Go over there all I am over here over a little bit Hey, yeah Are you can ask your question? Oh, yeah, are you gay? I'm straight. I love women I lost my virginity to three way with two chicks and so What about with him nothing gay yes I need a

just sit facing down with facing barf no let me do this yeah no he's not well bro he he knows what he's doing this is good fucking making him look over there no it's really nice what I did for him yeah bro look at this it's amazing IP to always wins you had to say that don't let him say that sentence again I'll hit you. Turn off your phone by the way. When people say their...let me get the question. When people say they're California sober they mean usually that they smoke weed and that's it. When somebody says they're Andy Dick sober, does that mean they're on a bunch of drugs and ready to grop random people? Okay, how about this, which one do you want, all of the above?

I want whatever is the best answer you can give me, please. No but what would you like to have happen to you? Oh no, don't fucking touch me I'll start swinging let me take my glasses off first but I see scrapes I got into last night boy what's the question when somebody says they're California sober they usually mean that they smoke weed and that's it. When somebody says- Do you have any? Any what?

No. You already told me you don't smoke weed. I don't. When somebody says they're Andy Dick sober, does that mean that they're on a bunch of drugs high out of their mind and ready to grop random people? Take the groping part out. You've been arrested for it like eight times. Okay. eight? Something like that. You want it to be nine? It's not gonna be nine. I'm a kung fu fighter okay. What's wrong with all of you? I think we're all scared of you touching us. I-

Are you out of your fucking mind? Yeah, open that up. Can I ask a question to, uh, the- Billy. Colored person? Yes, hello colored person. Are you high right now? On weed, yeah.

You are? Where the fuck's- Love my weed. Do you enable this type of behavior I don't like him drinking I don't believe in drinking but I do let him smoke I don't let him get like well he didn't smoke me how can you in future try to prevent this behavior sometimes I put a straight I love this guy so much because he's trying to take care of me

well I feel bad this is almost a depressing thing boo hoo cry me a river pull the mic closer to you I'm trying to take care of me. Well, I feel bad. This is almost a depressing thing. Boohoo. Cry me a river. Pull the mic closer to you. Cry me a river, boy. I don't, I'm not that invested in it. Okay, then are we done with this? No, no.

He talks two times in a row. Oh, I read that you've been to rehab 20 times or something like that. 33. Can we go then? That's the record yet or do you know? Is there an official? 37. That's the record yet or do you know is there 37 that's the record 37 record who's who's winning I'm asked well I've never met somebody even why is your director so stupid he put a camera in here with the plate on it to block the shot and he's outside right now probably thinking that he has a good

shot but there's nothing visible on that camera He said that's not Adams Why would I don't know why we you did I ain't do that? Well, you'd put we have it on camera He was in here position, but you but there's no reason why no you put the fucking Stop making noise! Yeah, asshole. Anyways, I need, can we, I love... Please don't do anything like that. What? Hey shhh don't do that.

Clearly my magic from Darth Pants is not working. Oh my god, are you some kind of, You're a vixen, you're... What? You're scaring me. That's good, maybe that'll keep you away? From you? Yeah. You want to keep me away from you?

Yeah. You want me to stay away? Hey man, don't reach down there to try to grop me. I know that you not keep away. Okay. Does he ever grope you? How he hurt me he's hurting me get out of this chair come on how many longer is it why do you want to leave right now one more we don't have that much longer cuz so good long neck is gonna be here who good he's the next guest you're gonna do a podcast with

him after that's long neck you know long neck no I don't know no I'm and I didn't agree with that I didn't agree with that I'm speaking your language there better be money in that fucking cast why do you think Hollywood isn't willing to hire such a wholesome person like yourself? put you in some kid's movies? Lego Star Wars? oh my god really? am I going to be in the Lego Star Wars oh my god really am I gonna be in the news Star Wars absolutely not I'm asking you why not you're such a wholesome guy they should put you on like live action what character would I play the fucking retard You should fucking robot with my boys Where they teach thanks for putting the mic closer to him an episode where they teach dealing with the loss of somebody

Hey, I'm at Did don't did you did you lose somebody recently? Did you lose somebody recently? No, well. Don't lie to me. No, no, no, not losing, like they're gonna die. Like you lost someone. But did you lose somebody? Cause I did.

Did you lose? I'm sorry to hear that you did. Okay, I have to pee. We don't have a bathroom here. Okay, I'll go outside. You're gonna pee outside? Yes. I'm getting depressed now.

Why is that? Because I did lose somebody. Yeah. Dang. You know it. Can I... We can take a break and come back if you want. Sure, you want to come back in like five minutes? I only need 30 seconds.

I love... fucking like five minutes i only need thirty seconds i love you again he's making sure things look cool cause he's the boss sorry to you hang on a minute. Ow. Come on Andy. Who gave this fucking guy alcohol? Can I see that for a minute or I'm gonna refill it?

I know. I know what you're doing. Let me refill it. No, I know what you're doing. Grab that from him. Come on Andy, give it up dude. Come on bro. I can't enable this. We have to take it away all right here you can have yes

No don't touch it impressing I can't see a white clogging We can't do that you need to stop drinking alcohol Have you started huffing paint yet, or you haven't got to that stage You did Nope. Yes. Nope. I, one of your friends told me that you used to huff paint. What was his name? Evan.

Nope, that's just my last name. No, your last name is Evan. That's extremely, I mean, it's spelled the same way. Yeah, but this is Evan the Don. But have you sma... What did I say? No. Have you done paint or no?

No. And you're currently married, yes? Have you? Are you? I am not. What about you? I have. When your wife goes away to the store or something,

does she have to hire a babysitter to watch you and shower you? Oh. Yeah, are you? you all right hang on a minute because are you available no but I need I might need I would like I'm not sure if watching you would be good for my mental I would like it if you showered man. No see that's that gay shit I'm talking about. I'm not talking about gay shit Can you? I He hates me obviously you Know so everybody hates me including my friend I think are you happy in your marriage or you don't like your wife cuz you

text you that's not it's not about that fuck up that's not about yeah so that doesn't sound like a happy marriage um the only reason I'm married to her is to get all the money that I make to her because then it goes to my kids and she takes care What? to three kids with your new wife I Have a bunch of kids with a bunch of girls. How many kids do you have? Hmm zero? Keep it that way

Trust me. You don't like having kids. I didn't say that. Well. I'm asking you I Don't like him. I love it because there's no then why you recommend for other way. I'm it So how many do you think I have I'm gonna give you three? Yeah, yeah and each one of them are Awesome yes and better than me And each one of them are Awesome Yes, and better than me Okay, but then why do you but so you're not in a happy marriage You just want her your wife to delegate your money down to them. You don't like your wife

No, that's not true at all. I'm I love her. I love her Okay, she's my best friend Next to Billy next to Billy yeah okay you're number one how about that then I'm trying to think of some more some more why would you slap a drink out of my hand you don't get alcohol under my presence I don't yeah so you admit that this is a prison no my presence but I mean basically I locked I locked you in here I I want I want to leave I want to leave I just locked all those guys out of here who those guys? Exploiting you for their documentary

You just realized that Are they paying you for that documentary they're filming? No, they're not Don't make me sad that made you sad no don't make me sad did that make you sad I'm not sad look I'm how happy y'all extremely happy okay well that's anything else no that's it we have to end now bye I have an invisible headphone they just shocked me a little bit to let me know that Long Neck is here, so we have to end it. Okay. What the? I'm throwing that

to my guy so he can switch it out and exchange me for the new notepad ready for Long Neck. And then once I'm done filming with Long Neck, you're gonna do a podcast with him. What? Oh yeah, do it Andy, it'll be podcast with him fuck you talking about bitch ass you don't want to do it I don't know why you talking about okay I'll if you give me a drink I'm not gonna give you alcohol okay then I'm not doing that's how that's how you make deals? Look, how are you making deals, boy? I lock people inside my podcast studio and wait until I'm finished. Well, good. Are you finished? Yeah, that's it. Thanks for coming on.

You're welcome. Poo! Okay, I think you're off Cameron I Think I mean what your makeup? Oh You're gonna stay there I'm gonna smoke out when my Billy and other watch this look at my time camera manning the camera which is so f**king smart and so good at him, smart at him. Can I give you one thing? I'm not gonna hurt you or touch you even. This is what I want to say. He's trying to avoid the disease. That's the disease?

That's a fungus. Even the fungus doesn't want to be AIDS. The fungus is among us. There's a fungus among us. I'm going to smoke pot now outside. Can you go to sleep and... Do you... Is this AIDS?

No, that's your thing. Okay, you know what? I'm gonna... what? XYZ, XYZ buddy, you got your fly down a little bit. Let's adjust that.