The Matan Show - Dominick Cruz on Fighting Sean O’Malley and Changing Genders

Episode Date: April 28, 2024

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/matanevenoff X/Twitter: ⁠https://twitter.com/mataneven TikTok: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@mataneven Discord: https://discord.gg/matan-university-1055196556875280384 YouTube: youtube.com/@matanevenoff Alec Benjamin: Instagram: http://Instagram.com/DominickCruz X/Twitter: http://Twitter.com/DominickCruz LinkTree: link.me/dominickcruz

Hello everybody and welcome back to the podcast. For today's guest, we have Dominic Cruz. Welcome in. How you doing? Good to meet you. As usual, we have Mike, but he's an asshole, so he's late today. He will be here soon, hopefully. Have you ever met Mike? No. Just in case anybody doesn't know you, maybe give them a little bit of an introduction. Yeah, my name is Dominic Cruz. I'm a UFC commentator in the UFC and uh the prize fighter still currently fighting still fighting yeah still fighting you have any fights coming up soon I'm trying to get some rematches going we'll see how it works out by the way in

case anybody didn't know we're obviously not releasing this today but it's his birthday today oh okay I didn't know when we were releasing it. I don't assume anything. Yeah, probably in a couple of weeks but today is his birthday so make sure to comment a wish for his birthday with a super chat so I can make some money in the comments. What do you think about that?

Super chat? No, just since it's your birthday we can give such a special... People can give me money. Oh, okay. Genius. Do you have any plans for your birthday or can you also give me some money? What would you do with the money? Oh, I will hopefully be able you have any plans for your birthday or can you also give me some money? What would you do with the money?

Oh, I will hopefully be able to buy some food for the weekend. You seem like you could buy more than food with money. Like what would you make a difference for with the money that I'd give you? Then we can talk about giving you money. Well, if it's a lot of money, then it can make a difference. But maybe just $5 or $10. Oh, easy. We'll go to the dollar store together. You want to go over there?

I'll buy you $5 for things right now. That would be awesome because everything is gone. Somebody came in my house. They took all of the food, the water, all that stuff. The food and the water. The food, the water. I was stuck in a PlayStation to sell. They took the PlayStations.

They took everything in the house. How did they get it? You don't got a Rottweiler or something? No, no. I have one small dog, one of the pit bull. Not the pit bull, the French ones. Yes, French bulldog. But he's not.

You know, that actually leads me on to one of my other questions. Do you think the UFC should start being more inclusive and add a division for non-human fighters? For example, two pit bulls eating each other or no? I mean, I think Mike Vick tried that and it didn't go very well. Oh, Michael Vick tried that one?

Yeah, he had a dog fighting thing going on. But was he televising it or that was just for fun? I think that it became illegal before he could televise it. What if they do it in Saudi Arabia? Now you're thinking.

That's a good idea. Maybe that's what I could donate my money to you oh that would i'll give you 50 of that business there we go see this is why you need the youngsters because you guys got that money mind i need that teach me how to do it you into any other businesses besides ufc and commentating um yeah i do a footwork some i do a footwork series when covid hit everything shut down so i had to come out with something on the internet footwork series when COVID hit. Everything shut down, so I had to come up with something on the internet. Footwork series. Teach you how to move your feet.

Athletic movements. Is this the asshole Mike? This is the asshole Mike. Late to the fucking podcast. Just Mike? You should be ashamed of yourself. He's got the Steven Seagal thing going on. Yeah, he thinks he's...

Because he used to be a security guard. Yeah, same thing. Have you seen Steven Seagal? Yeah, he's the one guy with all those moves. Do you think you could beat Mike in a fight? He's 360 pounds. There's no way he's 360 pounds. Pure muscle, that's why.

It doesn't look so much. There's one thing I know, it's weight. And I'll give asshole mike like 180 pounds lucky 180 pounds soaking wet what would you say i am about 125 125 that's pretty close i'm like 130 what about you i weigh about 160 right now oh so me and you are pretty similar you'd say that you're closer to mike than me though i think mike's a little closer to my weight class yeah and you think you would beat him or you're too old for mike now because he's a youngster no i'm here you know first you fight then you teach then you heal i'd be in the teaching phase with that oh you would want to teach him yeah so why do they call you asshole

mike instead of just mike big asshole like hot dog down a hallway asshole or like just like what what exactly makes your asshole bigger than anybody else's number one okay fair enough one second we're getting we have a special surprise here actually for your birthday oh wow this is gonna be so awesome. This is unbelievable. It was my birthday too. Oh, yeah. It's Mike's birthday. How old do you turn today? 23.

Okay. Happy birthday, Mike. Yeah. Happy birthday, man. Nice. Fellow Pisces, huh? What are you? What's your astrological sign?

What's your birthday? I don't really know all that ones, but my birthday is April. Oh, you're right around the corner. You live in LA? No, I live in San Diego and Vegas. Oh, San Diego and Vegas? Back and forth. I do a lot of work. Oh, here he is. Happy birthday. Wow, what a guy. Thank you.

Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. It's impressive how you don't blink. That's impressive. You still haven't blinked yet. Oh.

That one. Oh, shit. Is that a happy birthday? Is that something special for your birthday? It's a little eerie, but I do. We wrote something for you to celebrate. I guess it's special. What does that say? My 11th Is that something special for your birthday? It's a little eerie, but I do. We wrote something for you to celebrate. I guess it's special. What does that say? My 11th birthday.

Happy birthday. All right. Thank you. That's Spider-Man. Yes, it is. I'm not sure if that one's edible, though. All right. Well, maybe this will make you a little less of an asshole, Mike.

You want to share it with Mike? No, it's his birthday. You want to share it with Mike? No, it's his birthday. You want to share it with him? Of course. Yeah, but Mike is 260 pounds. He needs to go on a diet. Fair enough. You got a good friend here.

Have you ever been overweight, fat in your life or always been? I have been fat. You've been fat? I have. What was the most weight you ever reached? 175 pounds. 175 pounds? Yeah.

But that one is just 15 more than right now. It was pretty gross, though. But it was just more body fat. You look kind of like a mechanic, like a retired mechanic. How old were you when that happened, though? 20... Man, good question. I think I was 26.

26 years old? Yeah, I had blown my knees out so many times. Also couldn't exercise. Couldn't exercise. Do you think you could beat Antonio Brown in a fight? That's a great question. He's just... So athletic and fast.

Athletic and smart. And fast. He has the brain of a dog. He has a great brain. He has a special brain behind him. So high fight IQ as well. Antonio Brown. Yeah.

And how does one decide that they know the IQ of Antonio Brown and a dog and compare? Oh, that's just I guess a guess. There's no exact.

For example, I wouldn't be able to tell you which one if it's a bulldog or pit bull or which one. Okay, and how do you think his IQ is? This guy? Happy birthday to you. What a guy.

Okay. I feel like you might need a hug. Do you need a hug? I'm not looking at him. No. What do you hate? No eye contact.

Is that the thing? No. I feel like he should get your glasses. Can we give him your sunglasses? Why? What would happen? Yeah, but your eyes don't do what his eyes do. So I'd rather cover his up than yours. Yours seem more authentic.

Let me see your eyes under there. Yeah, see, you still haven't blinked either yet. But see, yeah, you can see your eyes move, and they're normal. His eyes, they haven't moved, and they haven't blinked either yet. But see, you can see your eyes move and they're normal. His eyes, they haven't moved and they haven't blinked. So let's cover those things. He hasn't moved his eyes? No. We usually bring him on and he stares people down.

Are you creeped out at all by him? Creeped out? Yeah. No, I just feel like he needs a hug. Needs a hug? But do you think you could beat him in a fight? In a staring contest. Oh, a staring contest.

He's the world champion. Yeah, he's the best of everything. Do you think Sean O'Malley would become a better fighter if he changes colors? Changes colors. That's a good question, too. His hair? No. Gender?

No gender. Rest. Well, close. That one's closer, though. So which color exactly does he need to change? That one is up to your discretion. That one is not up to me. I mean, I think right now, going with cancer awareness, pink.

We'll give him that one. If he becomes color pink? He is pink right now. That's the color he's chosen. He is pink? He's chosen pink. The hair or just his skin color? I think it's kind of a mixture.

Well, when we are recording this, he is fighting tonight. Yeah. So you have prediction for that one? Because when this releases, people will already know the winner. I do think that Sean O'Malley gets it done. You think he will win? I do, yeah. I think that he's probably going to hit Vera a lot

in the first couple of rounds and maybe get him out of there. Knock him out? I think so. You've never fought Sean? Not yet. Have you fought the other one? Yes.

You fought Chido Vera? I shot... That was my last fight. That was your last fight? Yeah, and that's why I would take a rematch with him, a rematch with Henry Cejudo. Those are the two that are, like, I'm looking at right now. You beat him in your last fight or he won?

I lost to those two guys. Oh, okay. That was the last two fights? No. I won in between that a couple. But Vera was the last fight But Vera was the last fight. Vera was the last fight. So maybe if he wins this, you can get a shot for the title.

Yeah, he wins. He becomes the title holder. And they probably won't give me the title shot, but that's why I'm looking for a rematch to try to get right there. I mean, I went three hard rounds with that guy, and I know I could do well if we get a rematch. So you would rather him win or Sean? Who do you think will be easier for you? Well, it works

better for me if Vera wins because I lost to him. You know what I mean? Just a rematch, more build up? Yeah, it sets up a storyline. When it comes to O'Malley, it's a good

fight. He's building the division well because he's got a lot of YouTube followers. Oh, he's a famous guy. He's one of the most successful outside of UFC. Yeah, it's good. Do you know who's the most successful person on YouTube? Not on YouTube, I don't. You don't know Mr. Beast? Oh, yeah, I do know that, actually.

Well, guess what? I just did a crazy transition, but this episode, we're actually unveiling the new Mr. Beast Bar flavor. So you get to try it live right now. So you said you did a transition. Are you talking about your color? This is the brand new Mr. Beast Bar flavor. He made a chocolate, okay? So we got the brand new flavor from him

before anybody else. We told him we were doing a podcast with you. And he sent this over to us. That looks like some tasty chocolate. Yeah, so let me show the camera real quick. That's Feastables. That's his company? That looks awesome tell me what you think of the taste feastables that's really the the name of his chocolate company really yeah that's the one

and then he just released a new flavor something it's a big chocolate bar. Mmm. Tasty. I would say what kind of steak? I might give it a try. Oh, steak flavored? Yeah. That one is the cheapest from the store possible. Cheapest?

That one is probably $4. Did you get this at the 99 cents? That's probably the only place my crew can afford that one. Okay. Well. So I guess it's safe to say you're not the number one YouTube channel. Oh, no.

Mr. Beast is the number one. This is his brand. Yeah. Oh, okay. I just get to unveil it for him. Oh, what a guy. He's letting me do a free sponsorship for him. Man, you're just a...

There you go. You're giving already. But I'm good on that. You don't want to try it? No, no. I think the guy. But I'm good on that. You don't want to try it? No, no. I think the guy with the eyes would probably eat that. He will eat that. That will be his meal later now.

Yeah, I think. What do you think? He'll eat that for sure. Yeah. You should wrap that up a little better though. I'm just going to leave it here so everybody can look Because that's the sponsor Got it

Why didn't you want to try it? The taste Just looks a little raw Looks raw? Yeah Do you think Do you think you're a better athlete than Rudi Gobert? Rudi Gobert

He's a French basketball I didn't know the French could play basketball. No, they're really asshole people, but they got one tall guy, so he's in the NBA. Are they more of an asshole than asshole? Oh, no, Mike is way worse, but they have a rude demeanor. What makes them, like, what is it that makes them, these Frenchies, the meanest? Because they think they're better than everybody, but they just stink. Like, what do it that makes these Frenchies the meanest? Because they think they are better than everybody, but they just stink. Like, what do they smell like?

I haven't been around. Oh, they smell like that. Okay. That one is probably an import. So Mr. Beast was able to package the smell of a Frenchman into a chocolate. Oh, yeah. That's why nobody wants to eat it. Now you're starting to make sense.

It makes sense? It does, actually. Do you think it's harder to become a professional UFC fighter or professional boxer? Man, that's another good question. All the good questions today. Save them all up. Yeah. I would say it's probably harder to become, well, what level? The highest level?

Yeah, a champion or one of the top contenders. Well, I don't know. I haven't gone through the boxing circuit. But I would say that boxing is a fighter's sport and MMA is a promoter's sport because the Muhammad Ali Act allowed boxers to be free agents after every fight. So I think you mixed them up. You're saying that boxing is an entertainment one? No, I'm saying that they're owned by two different markets. So the fighters own the market in boxing because of the Muhammad Ali Act, whereas in MMA, the promoters own the market in boxing because of the Muhammad Ali Act.

Whereas in MMA, the promoters own the market. They know why. They know why. Any promoter. Why do you think that all the fighters keep telling him to lower the fighter pay? Yeah. I feel like... I haven't heard that. I heard it a lot. There's so many of them.

They said that he's not paying them fairly. He's giving them way too much money. So if they paid him a little bit less, then things would even out, right? That's what they're saying. They're saying that he's giving them way too high of a percentage of the revenue. Yeah. I mean, what did the UFC make? Like $4 billion or something? Yeah, something really high 23 billion um yeah according to the lawsuits

i think that um the ufc is suing some of the fighters but they're suing the fighters for money yeah to get that's a good idea yeah i think they are because the fighters don't even have any money to hire a lawyer smart that's that's one of the things I always talk about. I just sue people who don't have money because they can't get a lawyer. So they just have to give it up immediately. Yeah. That's smart from the UFC because they have even better lawyers than me.

They have the top one in the world. They're steps ahead. By far. So you think it's smart from them? Well, suing fighters is probably one of the best business plans you could have, right? You just told me. You just screwed me up, man just to shut to shut them down yes but not to make money because they don't have any to give you in the mma yeah but if you take all their money then they have to fight for you oh just making them fight for money again that's good business genius that's really serious. That's genius.

Could you very humbly contribute $5, $10 or even $25 to the Trump campaign to fight against crooked Joe Biden? $5, $10 to go against the campaign of crooked Joe Biden. I would give as much money as you want to that campaign we want we want to stop him we want to get on the trump train and crash right into sleepy joe how how you get on that train the trump train is give him ten dollars he said that's it he said give him ten dollars he's gonna give you a little pin in the mail and you get to be on the train. Interesting. So how do you straighten out somebody like Biden who I mean, doesn't he use Braille?

He doesn't even use nothing. He's sleeping. He has that woman running everything for him. Oh. You sure it's a woman? That might be a man, but it's possible she switched it. How do you know is the question.

That's a good question. Do you think women should be allowed to fight in UFC? Oh, yeah. What if they're disabled? Didn't have another disabled woman fighter. They've already had one before. So two disabled women, right? We're talking about fighters?

No, no, just one man and one disabled woman. One man, one disabled woman. I guess it depends on the weight. Does the weight, does the woman have a weight advantage? No, the woman is a lightweight or bantamweight, and then it's a light heavyweight man, maybe Jamal Hill. He came on the podcast before, so he will be able to do a good one. Yeah, Hill. I know Hill. He came on the podcast before, so he will be able to do a good one. Yeah, Hill.

I know Hill. I think that he's got a soft heart, so he would let the... No, but they said that they'll give him $100 million if he wins. So here's a big incentive to... Hill. So Hill would smash the handicapped woman... You think he would win that fight? For $100 million?

Do you think he would be able to win against handicapped women? How much are you giving the handicapped woman? We will offer her $40. Ah, well, could you give her any money before? Well, actually, crooked Joe Bidens

would probably subsidize her whole camp. Oh, he will. You know what he will do? He'll just raise the taxes on her. No, but he would raise the taxes on us

and give the money to her to prepare for the fight. He wants to do socialism on us? He would pay for the camp. What an asshole. Against Hill, wouldn't he? He would like to. And is she in a wheelchair or is it a different, what's the handicap? Multiple, wheelchair, brain, handicap, all of them.

Brain? Just all the handicaps possible. Now you're making it interesting. But then that would assume that Hill is not handicapped because right now he's coming back from an Achilles injury. Oh, yeah. He was on here. He had an Achilles injury.

So now we're talking about two handicapped people. So it's actually an even fight. Now we've got odds. I wonder what the odds will be on that fight. But how about this? We start adding not mental or physical handicaps, but handicaps on the fight. She is not allowed to throw punches. What are Hill's handicaps?

Oh, he doesn't have any. Well, he has no. Actually, no. We had a handicap for him that after the round's ends, he is allowed to attack the corner man. So, he fights the handicapped girl and then attacks the corner man. Yeah, and they can't fight back. They're not allowed. They get arrested by the police.

That sounds like L.A. Are you here often? Just got here. Came to visit. It's a little rough out there Have you ever lived here for a long period of time or not really? No I just come up and visit What was the longest you've ever been here? I used to work for Fox Studios

So I'd come out Fox? Fox News Studios Yeah The Alpha Republicans or the ones I wasn't part of the news Fox Studios. Fox? Fox. News. Studios, yeah. The Alpha Republicans?

I wasn't part of the news. I was part of the Fox family. Because that was before ESPN picked us up. Oh, that was when UFC was on there. Yep. Yep. I was trying to find the question to lead it incorrectly, but I messed up the transition. But it's about San Francisco.

It's a little bit similar to LA. Do you think they should keep going with the law that pays people to shit in the middle of the street? Or do you think they should get rid of that one? I think they should get Gavin Newsom cleaning it. He should clean the shit? Well, just a video for the next political, you know, like, for the next marketing

scheme. That would be... They should have him cleaning up the shit so he's giving back to the community and then that would show us that he's about it. You know what I mean? I think that would backfire on him, though. Why? Because then it would show people that because of him, people are already shitting in the street no they would say he's cleaning everything

but it's only one man and one man with a messed up brain he can't clean all that shit but he's giving back to the community he is helping but have you ever been to San Francisco no it's a disaster over there the whole thing I was over in the city

maybe a year or two ago. I went with a couple people. We made a, for real, we made a bet. We said if we were there, we were there for 36 hours. We made a bet to see if we would see anybody cheating in the middle of the street. After 12 hours, we saw one. And then we saw another one around the 30-hour mark. So I won all the money.

So what did you do with the money? Did you buy? I went to Dollar Tree. I bought the the stick i've been saving that one up that's how i was able to afford it do you want to try it that's the new mr beast bar yeah so the now that they're now mr beast bar is at the dollar store too i don't know if he's if they're selling him at the dollar store but they're selling that chocolate bar somewhere but we just found it we don't have the real chocolate we just have the wrapper and i think we're better off giving this to some of the homeless sitting outside that would be that would be a make for a good video if we make them eat that that's what mr beast does right he would

oh that would that would be a good video for mr beast giving away the if he what if he gives away stuff like this that would be his last video do you think depends on if he gave away grill with it he will just need to no grill just make them sign a waiver beforehand ah see this is what i mean see you got all the answers see it's just so smart because this is the this is the youth they're coming up with solutions for the problems always this is why I'm here. What else can you teach me about what the youth are doing? Well, I guess we will just have to see as we move on with the questions. Yeah, ask Mike a question.

Shame on you, Mike. Who do you think will win in the fight? The chicken or the egg? Man, which came first? The typical question. That's a good question. Again, the chicken or the egg? Shit.

I guess I got to go with the egg because when I go on Twitter, the egg just has no feelings. You don't know who it is. You don't know what it is. It's unbeatable. Who is the egg on Twitter? You never know. That's the problem. Oh, the profile photo.

He will win. It's unbeatable. And the chicken is running away. He's scared. Well, you know what it And the chicken is running away. He's scared. Well, you know what it is. So it's now. Mike shows up.

You know, like big guy. Mike, you need to cut your talking right now. You make them fly like chicken. Smart. Wise. You keep wise people

around. This guy is the opposite of wise. This guy is a disaster. And why do you keep him around? Does it make you feel good to keep disasters around you? No, it's obligation. For what? They don't even let me talk about it.

See, he's proud of it. He got me locked into a deal. He has to be here. Man, they're lucky to have you, though. The talking piece. Without me, that would be terrible. What weapon... No, that question is too stupid.

I'm going to save that for somebody else. That one is not even reasonable to ask. Okay. Why do you think there are clouds in the sky? Is it possibly black magic? I think the clouds are

what are those called where they're drawing the lines in the sky? Oh my gosh. Chem trails. Chem trails? I think it's all chemtrails that's a good theory by crooked joe biden i think he's lining them up fucking asshole joe biden yeah you voted for trump i

am not voting you're not voting not yet who would you vote for i'm gonna stay right in the middle right in the middle yeah Right in the middle? Yeah, because I think that both sides are corrupt. I don't know what's going on. Would you go for that one guy? He lost his voice. Isn't there a question mark you can put? That one is for Kanye West.

Yeah. You're voting for Kanye West? I mean, it's just a question mark. Yeah. Well, Asshole Mike would push the question mark too. But the bottom line is this. In a video game, when you hit the question mark, do you know what you're hitting or are you just picking any character? Or just randomizer.

Yeah. I feel like that's what politics is anyways. It's just randomizing? So they'll make the same thing anyways. Just the changing of the hair, the skin color, all that. You get it. What do you think about the Russian MMA where they do three-on-one fights?

Do you think that's fair or not? I think it'd be more fair if you put them in there against the handicapped person you named earlier. Also, three heavyweight Russians versus one handicapped woman. Well, it's a win-win for the handicapped woman because nobody expects her to win against three people.

But it will be a loss if she gets killed in the ring. Nobody's going to kill her. Actually, she might not care. Nobody actually goes serious on a handicapped person. But they are incentivized with a lot of money. Yeah, but I mean, people have hearts, right? No. No, that's all right.

So we can't throw you in on them. It'd be bad, huh? Very bad. Why do you think none of the UFC fighters have tried doing the Batista bomb? I don't know what the Batista bomb is. You don't know him from WWE? Yeah, I know him, but what's the bomb? He does a move on them.

That's his special move. Oh, what have they done in the octagon? Yeah. The referees would... They would dis done in the octagon? Yeah. The referees would... They would disqualify for that one? Yeah. Why are they so strict? That's a good question, too.

I think that the commissions are paid off by also crooked Joe Biden. Oh, he's paying them? Yeah. But an asshole. He's just getting involved in everything. Yeah, you like the smell of raw meat? No, it's terrible i don't even know why we have that in the studio that is making the whole studio smell bad i mean i figured it was just something that you were gonna cook

no there's nothing there's no there's no next step with this one. That's it. I just had it on the floor taped to something, and that was the end of that whole thing. Now it's just making me angry. Mike can't even believe it. Glad the eyes guy hasn't come back. I seriously think we should give him the steak.

You want to give it to him? Yeah. I don't know where he is. We can try calling him back in. I'm going to have my producer get him right now. Yeah. Oh, here he is. He heard us.

Yeah, see. Oh, my God. Here he is. Do you want to try eating this one? This is the new Mr. Beast bar. You want to try it? Oh, he left. He doesn't want it either.

He looks starving. He has no food in his stomach, but he even wanted the Mr. Beast bar. Man. If Mr. Beast was here to give it to him, it would make YouTube, and then he'd get so many views that he would hate it. Mr. Beast, he's going to have trouble. If he doesn't start doing stuff like this, his views are going to go right down. What's the most viewed podcast you've ever done?

This one with you. No, no, with your podcast. No, this is my podcast. Try to tell me that this isn't yours anymore. You're saying this is yours? I'm pretty much taking it from you. Because you have the views already, so I'd rather just take your business than try to start my own.

But just taking over this business? Yeah, that's what crooked Joe Biden would do. He took over the whole country. Yeah, so if he can do it, I can do it. Let me just have your business. I deserve it. But without me taking those views from the website, there's going to be nothing left.

No, but you work for me now, so I trust you to handle all that. I can just handle it if you want. Yeah, just handle that. Thank you. Do you think you will be able to become the UFC heavyweight champion if you gained 100 pounds? No.

Why not? Because I would still only weigh 30 pounds less than the maximum weight. What if you gained 130 pounds? I got a chance. What if you gain 130 pounds? I got a chance.

You think you can do it? How do I gain 130? That's like eating somebody that's your size. Oh, just do something like that. Just keep eating every day a couple thousand more calories, and then you can do it in a couple years. Yeah, let's do that. But you corner me.

You can start with this one. Okay. I think we need a knife to cut this let's see let's start together let me get something for you oh what a guy. This should be interesting. Okay. You want some? Oh, do... You should try it first.

Together. Well, let's... Let's break bread. Is this one edible or this is not edible? Oh, you have to do this. Otherwise, you could get splinters. This will turn me Asian? I mean, you said that, not me.

It's important that we keep record of that. No, you said it. You said that if you do the chopsticks, you'll be an Asian guy. No, no, no. No, I think you misheard me. Let me hold it down for you. Okay, yeah. Well, you too.

You need some too, right? It's not bad. It tastes like a dollar store cake. A little bit hot. It's a warm cake. Want some more? No, I'm going to put that there to hold up. You can take this for your birthday party later. Okay, yes.

You can have the rest of that later. Thank you. How did you get started in all this? In celebrating birthday parties? In this world. Yeah, I don't even know. I don't know. How did you get started in all this? In celebrating birthday parties? In this world. Yeah, I don't even know. I don't know.

I couldn't come up with something quick. Let me think. Give me one second. Just born. Born great. Born scamming. Oh. Who taught you that oh that's just known at birth it's like eating for a dog or some other animal they just know how to do it got it you don't have a leader that taught you

any of these no no i'm the i'm the i'm the one teaching all of those magic tricks. I'm selling a course, actually. There we go. I do footwork course. What's yours? You do footwork? Yeah, what's yours course? I'm doing $200 a month. I'm going to teach you how to scam people.

I do phone scams, SMS scams. If you have somebody's phone number, can call the provider. Can we do it now? Let's do a phone scam. No, what we will need to do is, let's say I have your phone number, and you're under AT&T or something. I can call AT&T and give them your number, and then they're going to send me your SIM card.

And then I have all the information. That's a pretty good scam. That's how it works? There's different ones. That one is one of them. That's pretty impressive that you even know that. It's a little scary. No, I'm teaching it. I'm selling that one. Oh, okay.

This is for real. This is a real course I'm selling that one. Oh, okay. This is for real. This is a real course I'm selling. It's why you got the most views. This is how I can afford such a crazy podcast. This is a really high production one. And your coat. The coat is unbelievable. I wear this every day.

Well, that's expensive, though. You can't oh good you got the skinny guy like it weird's good weird's good. I mean, he just... I just feel like he should... He needs some food.

I beat him in the eye and the stare down. You want to give him some? He can have all of it. He needs it. Give the rest to him. He's looking lean. He needs some calories,

homie. Could just be the black, though. Makes him look more slim than he is, right? Oh, he took down Spider-Man. Do you want to eat that? Do you want a fork? I can't tell if he hears me. Do you want to eat that? Do you want a fork? I can't tell if he hears me. Do you want a fork? Do you want to eat it with your hands or chopstick?

You're a good guy keeping these guys at work. He should appreciate what I'm doing for him. You are. You're doing a lot. Nobody else will ever have somebody like that on a podcast. I think this is what's impressive about what brought me on. I'm doing for him. You are. You're doing a lot. Nobody else will ever have somebody like that on a podcast. I think this is what's impressive about, like, what brought me on was I started to see on your, like, the people you have working for you. You saw him in Mike?

Yeah. And I was like, you're a good Samaritan. Just because if these guys weren't here, there's, what other job can somebody like that get? Look at him right now. That's it. This is the only one. I mean, you're you're just that's you're a giver i had to create this whole thing around him uh this was all this this is this represents the white of his eyes exactly in the tables the black of his eyes darkness in there some darkness in your eyes man man. Some demons he needs to face.

No, I don't even think there's demons. I think there's nothing. He's just a blank human. How does that happen? He's born that way. He's born because his head is empty. See, that's why you're... What a guy, man.

You just deal with empty-headed people and you just hire them. How do you do this? It just makes me feel good. I know I'm doing something good for the world. You should video it more. That way people know. Otherwise, if you don't video it, then it didn't happen. Just take a video with my phone of his face.

Yeah, let's do that. Because this is you just being a good Samaritan. First, you. Hey, guys, I'm doing a good deed by hiring somebody like that. Nobody else's do that. Because this is you just being a good Samaritan. First you. Hey guys, I'm doing good deeds by hiring somebody like that. Nobody else would do that. And then show him. That's good. Yeah, I mean, who would?

Would you hire that guy? Nope. So now we can post that on Instagram. That's the one. That's going on Instagram. Well, that's the one that's going on instagram well that's the thing now i'm start you're teaching me this is how you do it if i don't video the things that i do then i can't get any likes yeah i wouldn't tell anybody of the if i did something good i need to tell people because otherwise what's the point of doing it that's see again another quality of 2020. What's the date today?

Are we in 23 or 24? 22. Kind of lost track. This guy's throwing me off. He wouldn't know anyways. He doesn't even know that it's 2000s. He might think it's still the 1900s.

Yeah, he's doing good. Well. He might think it's still the 1900s. Yeah, we're, he's doing good. Yes. Well, really, thank you for coming on the podcast, but you need to leave right now.

We actually have to shoot with Long Neck in five minutes. Oh, awesome. Long Neck is coming through. He's been waiting outside for the past three hours. What is he doing out there? He's waiting for the podcast. Oh,

okay. Is that why I had to wait? Yeah, he's, no, he's still outside. Okay. We're going to leave him out for a little. Oh, okay. Is that why I had to wait? Yeah, he's... No, he's still outside. Okay. We're gonna leave him out for a little bit. Thank you. Yep.

Bye. Thank you.