The Matan Show - Gene Simmons Walks Off After Matan Accidentally Offends Him

Episode Date: July 12, 2026

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Hello everybody, welcome back to the podcast for today's guest. We have Gene Simmons. Welcome in. Thanks for coming. For today's co-host, we have my manager, Virofrooring. Welcome in Virefrooring. Where are you going to go? Oh, that's right.

You don't talk. Go ahead. You want him to go in first? I don't want to do anything. I just want to rest my haunch. So can you please pull the mic close to your mouth and then introduce yourself for anybody who might not know you and all that one? Okay, my name, Gene.

talk like this usually but I think if I talk like this he can understand me more. Are you mimicking my voice? Is that some sort of racist thing? Are you making fun of my voice? But you don't sound anything like this? But I speak four and a half languages. I can do anything I speak one language. It's the superior language. The language of love. The language of English of the white people. Kind of. No, you speak Arabic, you probably speak English. You clearly don't speak Hebrew even though you say you're Israeli. I'm not. I'm German. I can also

speak a bit bit Deutsch. I have learned on the schule. Don't fuck with me because I will get you good. I don't speak it, but I'm German. It's like if you meet a guy with blonde hair. No, you meant you meant you're German, which is a different word and it means something completely different.

What does Germain mean? Relevant. When something is relevant, it's Germanic. Is that a word? Of course. It comes from the Germania, which is the old Roman name for the general area of Bavaria, Bavaria, and Germany.

You stopped listening, but you should listen. I'm kind of a big deal. Who the fuck is this guy? Shit over there. Put your table in a little bit this way. Like that. You know, the social media stuff I've seen before of you, they didn't have these clowns here.

Whoa, that's an addition. These clowns are those two guys. Yes. But that's Mike and that's the guy behind the camera, Mike. He's squatting. Looks like he's taking his shit. Well, can you introduce yourself to anybody who might not know you in Aldawa? That's impossible. Did they don't know you?

Of course. I just walked down the street with you walking into the building and nobody recognized you. Well, I'm not dressed up, darling. Well, listen, if you dress up like a crazy person, anybody can recognize a crazy person. Everybody would stop on the street to say hi to him. Oh, my God. Kill me now. I think he's a big fan of yours.

I'm a big fan as well. I like that one song that you do. It's like, I'm in the jungle. Big fan. I've been listening for years. I'm in the jungle? Yeah. Where's your most popular area, would you say?

Where people recognize me the most? Sure. I don't know. Probably Los Angeles. That's just where I live. So I know some people here for many years. Still living at home? No, I live by myself now.

With these two clowns? No, that's my manager. and that's just a clown, I guess. That's actually just a clown. You don't live together? With these two guys? Yeah. No.

He lives in a much nicer house. And can I ask you a question, even though none of you speak? How long have you been a couple? Help. How have you been able to get away with blackface for so long? They paid me very well for half a century. Well, forget the pay. I'm saying culturally, you know, if I was to do it, it would be some big problem.

You're clearly not a member of the tribe. Forget them. pay. Now there's only pay. Even God passes the hat. You're saying the Jewish people that this tribe that you're in that I'm not, get to do whatever they want without consequences and mock and mimic black people because they're funny and they look funny? Sure. How is that fair? I think if you're allowed to do blackface as a Jew, I should be allowed to do blackface as a German. Of course, but you're not German. And on top of that, I think black people should stop getting food stamps and they should

should start working. You're going to become very popular. I know. Yeah. Can't wait. But if you do go to jail, I know they're going to pass you around. To jail? My people, the white people are not the dangerous ones.

What people are you? White German? You are? We're pretty like sophisticated. We make cars and stuff. I'm so happy I'm here. You're excited to be here? I've already cucked twice.

It's like, I've seen you on other shows, and you kind of have the same jokes that you do. It's all, I only know five things. And what are the other three besides the, I'm happy to be here and I've got twice? He's a rock and roll fan. No, he's not. What do you mean? No, he's not. What kind of your name is viral?

What is it? Floristine? No, viral flooring. You're trying to turn him Jewish already? Florin or Flores? Flooring. Like the floor. He makes floors go viral and then they explode.

on social media. They get so many views. This thing is completely different than what I've seen you do before, where people have opinions and then you argue with them. Well, I only asked one question, and I have like 30.

I'm sure we'll get into some arguing. Maybe I just have to, like, bait you and give my opinions about Israel and then we'll get into a debate. But let's do that towards the end in case that gets you too upset and you walk off. Sure. Okay.

How do you think airport security would react if you put a battery in your suitcase to get it stopped and then when they opened it, it was filled with a bunch of feces. I would stink. Why would you stink? You said feces. In the suitcase. Oh, it would still stink.

Of course, these are semantics, but I'm not anti-semantic. I am. I can tell. But forget semantics. I'm asking how the airport security would react. And don't you think that's a pretty funny prank? They won't be able to see that it's filled with shit on that camera that they use, but they'll be able to tell that there's a battery in there.

So they're going to check to find the battery to make sure that it's not a weapon. What's the battery for? To make sure it get stopped in the machine because you can have battery sometimes. Why did you look at him? Why not? Because I asked you something. Why did you look at him? Because you looked at him and I thought maybe something interesting was going on over there.

Not much. He's actually kind of famous too. He's from the Blue Man group. Oh, it's a he? You didn't know? I mean, he has an exceptional job. line. I think it looks like a they-them. No, that's not even real. That's just a bunch of phony bullshitters. And how old is that thing over there? I couldn't tell you. You don't

know it? By the way, is it a respectable reference to somebody? I believe so. Why not? Okay. I'd not here to argue. You charged a fan $12,000 to work for you for a day. You are reportedly worth over $400 million. What's even the point in that? What's the point of that? Yeah, $12,000 to work for you. The point of that is more. Are you trying to become a billionaire,

or you're just trying to accumulate it because it's like a video game. You just want the number to be high. Yes, to both. I also read that the guy was sick with cancer. Oh, I wasn't aware of that. Or he was sick with something, and then he spent the money. I did what?

He was sick with something and then he spent the money to meet you with his son, right? There was one, yes, there was one gentleman who came with his son. But I wasn't, is that true? I think so. It was either cancer or something. That's what I read online. Maybe he had a cold. No, definitely I read it was like a pretty bad one.

Would you want him to die? Because he's probably dumb enough to give you all of his money when he does, right? Why wait until you die? Seems like he's not willing to give you all of it, right? now only 12,000 actually maybe more than 12,000 that's what you put the price out oh 500 I missed out on that you couldn't forget what did you do with that money oh I have no idea because I have a lot so you just have it you you almost did it to spite the guy is why you accepted it yeah even though I never met him I was doing it to

spite him you have an interesting point it kind of makes sense though because he's your fan I'd rather it being very rude to my manager and he's a It sounded like I was done, but I wasn't. You said it kind of makes sense, but I think it kind of makes dollars. See what I did there. Is he at least doing it good? Do you at least respect his attempt at it?

I didn't understand. Say that again? Do you like what he's doing? Do you respect it? Oh, I don't want to make fun of him. I think he's ill, and we should respect people who are born that way. Yeah, there's no hope. He does actually kind of come off like a r-a-a-a-a-a-ha- person, you're right.

The whole tongue out of the mouth and finger, weird finger movements. Well, that part... But you came up with it first. That was your idea. Well, that part could probably earn you a decent living, but the rest of it, not so much. Well, he's...

I'll tell you this. You might not believe it, but he's richer than you. He what? He's richer than you. Okay. So, you're saying he can't earn an honest living? Maybe it's not honest, but he's earning a big living. He's living big.

I'm happy for him. Do you believe that if you're born in April? Do you guys even have water in this place? Unfortunately not. We gave it to the last guy. That's actually a lie. We just don't have water. All right.

Do you want some? No, I was just asking. Yeah, sure. Do you have diet water? We actually don't have any drinks. I see a refrigerator there. A refrigerator? Oh, it's just a contained.

That's a vacuum. It says, Oh, dirt devil, I see. Oh, you thought that was a fridge? It looked like a brand name of something. What is a dirt devil? Bakio. Oh, I see.

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Termining conditions apply. See the description below or visit rumble.com slash promo official rules for more details. Thank you to Rumble for sponsoring today's episode. This is a paid advertisement from Rumble. Do you believe that if you're born in April, you're more likely to be a rock star? and if you're born in May, you're more likely to become a pachshale. Yes. And what about if you're born in August?

I haven't gotten that far. To August? Yeah. Or to learning these important things about the months. Actually, I used to be a sixth grade teacher, but I was born in August. That sounds like you might have been born in May if you were a sixth grade teacher, according to what they're more likely to become. Who said? Do you don't understand what I'm saying?

I have to keep repeating myself. Is it because you're older, I'm ununderstandable? I may not be the only person that said to you. Can you say that again? No, everybody seems to understand me fluently most of the time. Perhaps not. You'd be surprised. I might be.

Is it true that back in the day, Rock and Roll Stars would kill people and sacrifice them to the demon Oscar Bob in order to become more famous? Yes. And why did you do that? You don't think maybe you have to cut a line at some point and be like, killing is not worth the fame and the money? Probably. So why didn't you do that? Well, you said it. I said it, but I'm going along with it.

I don't kill people. You don't? Why not? Well, I don't even know if I'd be capable of it. I'm not like super physically intimidating. Yeah, physically or not. But you can always get a weapon. I have a weapon.

You have it on you right now? I always have it. Oh, your genitals? I'm not sure you could use that to hurt somebody. But actually, that's definitely not true. A woman? You're assuming it's a woman. Well, at this stature that you're at now, I don't think you could a man.

How did we get to r-h-hick? Well, we're talking about hurting people. Well, in a good way. Oh, well, why would I interpret it like that? It's an interesting point. I can see your point. Yeah, I'm really happy I'm here. How long is this?

Were you copying what he did? You were doing like one of those things? One of those things? Yeah, you went like this or something. What did you just do? Something like that. Well, not for free. Yeah.

How long is this interview? It's about three hours. I don't think it's gonna be three hours. You wanna go for longer? That was very good. I commend you. No, don't touch. I commend you. That was very good. We turned it around.

I really think this guy behind the camera shouldn't wear shorts. Why is that? That's Mike. Because he's going to be popular in jail. They're going to rip him? Me? I don't plan on visiting.

Not you, the people in jail. You want me to the people in jail? I wouldn't feel that bad for them if they're in jail. They're probably used to it anyways and they potentially deserve it. How old did you say you were?

Me? No, the other guy. I don't know how old any of these people are. I mean, you obviously, because I'm... Me? I'm 19. 19. But I think I could hold my own. Maybe not against you

When you were my age You seem to be bigger in stature But now I think I could prevent a r-I'm still bigger Yeah, I know, but I might be a little quicker now At least quick enough to not get rick by you You know, my friend Mike Tyson likes to say Everybody's got a plan Until you get punched in the face

Or until you get r-r-ed in the ass I guess Same thing But it usually starts with lesson one Yeah, well, that's a lot better than the other option. I'd much rather be punched in the face. Sure, but one may lead to the other. If you're smart enough and you have a tactic, it can. But some people are too foolish.

By the way, does the Blue Man group thing have a name or not? Blue Man. Woman? Blue Man. Blue Man. Blue man. Blue man. Yeah, I think that's his legal name.

Blue Man. I think it's taken But Whatever you say Is it a man? You asked me that already I can't tell you for sure But it seems like it

Yeah He doesn't look much like a woman If you say I can't tell you for sure It's redundant Because the inference means You're talking to me So you can say I can't say or I can't tell

You don't need to say you Because Are you correcting me on grammar You're like want to go overboard To prove the And you speak English because it's not your first, yeah, that's my point. It's my fourth. You want to show everybody that you're really good at it.

No, it's just whatever is correct. We both thought what I was trying to say. We didn't have to. I thought you said you weren't anti-semantic or whatever you said. That was a pun, yeah. It's a joke. I know, but now we're arguing about semantics. Are you fluent in Arabic?

I don't speak any other language besides. Where's the accent from? Los Angeles, buildings. Which part of Los Angeles? So you speak how many languages? Just one. And that's an American accent? Yeah, I would say so, maybe a little German with a little bit of business.

Then speak German. Well, I don't speak it. And that's not how accents work. If you took a black guy and you put him in Mexico. How did a black guy come into the conversation? I've given you an analogy. If you took a black guy and you put him in Mexico and he was raised by four dogs, he probably wouldn't have any accent.

And next thing you're going to say is he's probably going to bark. Well, that's besides the thing of the day. dog. That more has to do with the black part. But I was, I don't know, you get my point. I'm, unfortunately, I do. Yeah. Why do you think so many people say you're an asshole in person? Is it because you're extremely rude to your fans and spit on them or some other reason? Yes. In fact, one of my solo records was literally without joking around called asshole. Yeah? Yeah. But why do you do that? Well, there was a song on it called asshole. No, but why are you an asshole to your

friends. Oh, I don't think I am, but certainly people have said that about me. Well, I haven't seen you interact with your friends, but I've read a couple stories in preparation for this interview. Some people have said you spit on them, you're rude, you won't take photos. Spit on them. I read a couple like that. Really? Does everybody like you, by the way? What do you mean? Does everybody like you? Are there any naysayers, people who have negative things to say about you? No. They're all, So you're better than Jesus because not everybody loves Jesus either. Well, he's more controversial than me.

By some people, people don't love me as much as him either. Okay. I'm just kind of like the ultimate grifter. You know what I mean? Unfortunately, I do. But maybe you don't know that word. Did I just teach you a new word?

What's the word? What's the word? Grifting. Yeah, it comes from grift, which I think is Germanic. Shocker. It comes from grift. Grifting comes from grift. Thank you. You really are on your fourth language. From what? From grafting.

I don't think so, but good luck with that. Well, as somebody who speaks the language and wasn't only got an education past six grade unlike you, I think I would know better. But you dropped out of school, did you? I dropped out of college. College at 19? Yeah. I see. No, I'm lying. I didn't go to college.

You didn't go to college? You said you dropped out of school. I was just making stuff up. So you're still in school? No, I'm 19. I just never started college. I never even applied. Well, I'm not judging. I'm just curious.

I think I'm a little past the point of being accepted into a good school with some of the things I've said online. By the way, what's the name of this program? It actually doesn't have a name. It just goes up every week. How many people follow it?

A couple hundred thousand maybe, I would say, on average. Excellent. Are you clean Eastwood? I'm the same age. The exact same age? Probably. I think he's 94, 95, is he? I thought you were only like 85.

I laid. I laid. Now, I'll be 77 next month. So how does it feel? You only have a couple more years before your central facility. Well, it could be next month. You don't know how long you're going to be alive. Well, I meant that, again, you're doing semantics for all you want to do this.

I'm not, I don't like semantics guy. It's like the most semantics ever. Is that the first time in your life you started using that word? No, I used to use it all the time and then it became popular and then it's like I got to get to the new trend. Why would you care? Because then it looks like I'm, I'm larping. But why would you care? And I had to stop using that word too.

But why would you care what anybody else thinks? Because I'm trying to make money online and the only way you can do that nowadays is by saying a bunch of shit. care about. Well, I think you've got, you hit that right on the button. Yeah. What were we talking about before? Oh, are you clean Eastwood? Oh, of course. Yes. I'm also Boris Karloff,

but you're too young to know who that was. Yeah, it's a pleasure to meet you. I don't know the other one. Isn't it a thrill? But it's clean eastwood. Yeah. Yeah. Just call me Clint. Okay. Am I like Rosa Park since they asked me to give up my seat at the front of the bus to a disabled lady? Well, she was in the back of the bus. She wasn't in the front. Actually, you're right. She was closer to the front. That's why they asked.

They wanted her to go to the back of the bus. Yeah, that's right. You're right. And by the way, I stood on, I stood on it like a true Rosa Parks. I did not give up my seat. That bus, they actually didn't even drive the bus. They actually called the police. The police said, technically does not have to move. Maybe they didn't have a thing about Germans. No, it's because it was a disabled lady who was really old. She kind of had something like some tick or something. she had to get to her son's house to her son's house her son was in the hospital

so she was going to go grab his belongings and bring it to the hospital I'm so excited but you don't need to be excited anymore we've been going for at least 20 minutes now I'd say so the excitement should be wearing off to pure ecstaticness at this point

you should change it to I'm ecstatic sure you want to say that I'm so ecstatic Hey guys I have to let you you know that today's episode is sponsored by Factor. Factor has a wide variety of meals

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Thank you to Chubbies for sponsoring today's episode. Do you hold the door open for women with the expectation of s'-h-h-h-x in return? First s-h-h-h-h-and-then I'll open the door. What if they say no? They say door first. Door stays closed. Will you lock the door? Is it my door? I was making a joke like they're in your bedroom

they're saying no s'i-so you lock the door to them. Well, they don't have to be in the bedroom. They can be chained up in the basement. It's a little gross, you know. It is? A little violent. Oh, I. One man's meat.

I don't get it. What does that mean? It's an old English phrase. You'd know it if you were American. You know, somebody's meat or somebody else is poison. I don't know what you're talking of. about. Is that like something Israel does to like Arabs?

They give them like poisonous meat. Of course. I think it is. I saw a report about that. As long as it's kosher. Why do you need notes, by the way? You're going to see right now, because I couldn't remember this. If you walked into a room and there were three people whose heads had been removed and placed

on the body to their left and the leader of the operation asked you to give your head to the person at the beginning since there was. was nobody to his right. Would you do it? No. Why? It's not fair. Because I don't like to give head to people. I don't know. Oh, boy, that was good. No, I knew that that was coming from you. It was coming and... And I went too. No, not going to take that away from me. That's a win. I'm taking it away. It's a loss. It's a win. It's disgraceful. I came up with such an amazing question, a thought-provoker. It took me like three hours to come up with that. The question was, nothing like the answer.

The answer was... The answer was like another s' pun. It's like, okay, you're not going to some guys. That wasn't the question. I'm asking if you're going to give your head you're, you know, the one... Literally, yeah. Yeah. To some of it, no. To the guy on, at the beginning

since there's nobody to his right who would have to give it to him on their left. But he's already lost his head because there's somebody to his left. What am I doing with these headless people anyway? Uh, no, that wasn't specified. That's not the question. Well, the answer is no.

Why? I like my head. But the guy on the beginning, since he has nobody to his right, had to give up his head to somebody, and he doesn't have one now. Such is life. It's not fair. Life is not. And also, the guy at the end, on the left side, is just holding an extra head or something, right? Well, you can give himself head.

He's holding his head. Whose head? The guy at the end on the left is holding his own. head with nobody to give it to. You mean to tell me they don't know, they don't even know each other? Yeah, I don't even know what I just said. He's from the rock and roll band, Kish. I wouldn't call anything about it rock and roll.

He's a legend. You want a photo with him? I'm not sure. Let me get back to you on that. Smile. That's great. I'll send it to you later. But actually, you called me from no caller ID, so I have no contact to you.

I wonder why that's not. I don't know. I don't know. Listen, I think I'm very trustworthy to give you a number to. The reality is that everybody you know would sell your number to somebody for the right amount of money. Possible. No, it's the truth.

You would sell your number to somebody for the right amount of money. Oh, I'd sell anything to anybody for any amount. Exactly. That's my point. So my amount of money that I would have to get, although it's probably not as high as almost anybody else who has your number, assuming that you're not. You're careful with it. Let's play a game, shall we?

Do you have this wonderful palatial? Do you have internet here? Yeah, it looks like it. Maybe. I don't think so. Gene Simmons, gum, chewing gum. Gum? You can read it.

Gene Simmons chewed gum made headlines when he auctioned off a piece on eBay for a staggering $247,000. The Keith's frontman chewed the gum during an appearance on UK soccer a.m. And sold to raise money for Street League, a football charity. focused on combating youth unemployment. How much those might chewed gum? Well, technically you got zero dollars for it. And by the way, what is stupid charity? Combating Youth Unemployment?

Actually, they were... That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. I actually, in essence, agree. I think we should get kids working and stop sending them to school and wasting like a fourth of their lives. But that's not the general consensus. I mean, unless you did this in Brazil.

In England, but it was a children's hospital. England. That's where they're the biggest bitches. They refuse to let children work. Uh-huh. It was for a children's hospital. He said youth unemployment. I don't think it had to do with unemployment.

That's what it said. But it was a tax deduction. By the way, who else has been in here? What do you mean? Of note. A mrs. who went viral 14 years ago? No, no. Of note.

Somebody we would all know. Yeah, he had like a video that got like 100 million views. A hundred million. Yeah. We have long neck coming in. Who? After this. Long neck.

Long neck? Yeah. We had a gambler, a gambler who says he beat the casino. Do you what? He said he beat the casinos. I mean, in the pop culture, entertainment world, anybody we'd know or sports? No. What the fuck am I doing here?

I really was surprised when you said you were going to do it. I was so excited. I was oblivious. They just give me stuff and I go, okay, I've got Monday open. I'll try it. That's great. Well, I appreciate your booker. I'm glad I traveled a hour and a half to come here.

It's one of the best decisions you've ever made. It's an experience you'll never forget. That's possible. You recently went viral for running around Hollywood Boulevard with a fake gun threatening to shoot tourists here for the World Cup. Why did you do that? Were you high? I've never been high or drunk in my life, actually. I heard that story online, but I don't believe it.

Okay. So then why did you do it? Well, life is too short to try to convince anything to anybody. If they believe it, fine. If they don't, that's okay. That in its own way is trying to convince me, by the way. So you actually are being a hypocrite. I'm being a hypocrite. You're saying life is too short to try to convince anybody of anything, which is what...

Look this. I don't get paid enough for this. this shit. I look like a clown every Sunday. Fuck. We fucking lost him. Are you serious? I need that guy. Did you do that? Did you fucking... Yeah, I did that. Did you do that? You set that up with him before? Sure. Why did you do that? To mess things, to mess up your manager.

That's my manager. Myron Florin? What's your name again? What do you think? He's from fresh and fit? You keep calling him Myron. Well, he doesn't look like a viral? Viral, flooring. He makes floors go viral, and then explode, and go viral on social media. Oh, I see, viral.

Viral. Yeah, you recently went viral. Back to that question. Why did you do that? How did I go viral? You ran around Hollywood Boulevard with a fake gun threatening to shoot Tories for the World Cup. Well, that's clearly not true, but if you believe it is, good luck. Why is that clearly not true?

Well, something simply is or isn't. Yeah, but it might not be clear. And again, you're doing semantics. If I have to call it out. It's like semantics after semantics. What? After semantics. It's like, all right, we get it.

This is why we usually are cautious when we interact with you people. But anyways. Yeah. It's always tricks and schemes and little word differences. Well, it's not my language. It's yours. Yeah, you take advantage of it. That might be the case.

How about another five minutes? How about another three hours? I think we'll do this as the longest show I've ever done. We'll beat the record. Or the shortest. Well, we've already passed that. Oh, there's been somebody shorter? There's been a minute and a half.

What's a million and a half? Dollars. It's a large amount of money. No, no, we're talking about the time spent on this. Oh, one minute and a half. A minute and a half. I thought you said a million and a half. Yeah, well, that wouldn't make any sense, right?

You think somebody with your level of grammar would know that. Yes. With your level of hearing, it doesn't work. I'm still curious to find where you're from, where that accent is from. Los Angeles, buildings. I say Albania. Albania. Eastern European.

I actually kind of take that as an insult. Those people kind of act like animals sometimes. They do? I mean, they live amongst, like, dogs. That's where, like, the dogs walk around the streets, and they're like completely undomesticated. Am I wrong? Yeah, I think so.

By the way, do people know where this wonderful office is, your fans? Why would I tell them where are my office is? Do you get groupies and stuff? Is that a thing? What does that mean? A groupie? Do you don't know what that is?

No. Somebody, male or female, I guess, or they them, who is such a fan of yours that they give themselves to you. Like, they'll work for me or this is like a s s**le thing? S**o. That seems kind of gross.

I mean, generally, I like the idea of taking advantage of somebody when you're in a position of power and you have leverage over them. But that almost just seems kind of sad because really, they're getting a much better story out of it than you. I wasn't talking about me. I was talking about you. Even then, I was also talking about myself. So there's no dress code? You can work here with shorts on. Is that a thing?

If you're not being paid, I believe so. Oh, he doesn't get paid. But that, I understand. Would you trade your current car for a new, more expensive car that you can use and has to be immediately traded for a cheaper, shittier car? Which car? I have lots of cars. Yeah, I guess I didn't think about that.

I don't know. One of your cars. This question would work for any of your cars. Unless you have the most expensive car in the world, which you do not. Halfway there. One of them is one of the most expensive cars. But still, there's one that's more expensive and newer? Oh, yes, yes.

Well, there you go. Then the question still works. There always is. So would I exchange that for a cheap car? No, that's not the question. Oh. Would you exchange that for a newer, more expensive car that you cannot use that has to be immediately traded for a cheaper, shittier car? It's far too complex for a simple mind like myself.

I take my car, which is worth X, and I trade it in or buy. buy up, spend more money for a more expensive car. But you get a more expensive newer car for free. But that car has to be immediately traded for a cheaper, shittier car. That probably wouldn't work because no matter how you get there, I've got an expensive car and I wind up with a shitty car. But you, for some moment, have a completely unusable car that has to be immediately traded. Well, if there's a tax advantage, I might do that.

And how much is this most expensive car you own? How much is it worth? About $750,000 or $750 billion? Can I get a photo of you guys doing that where you stick your tongue out? I know the floor is too dirty. Not for free, bitch. What do I have to give you? Money.

How much? Well, let's start with a number on the table and we'll see how I react. I don't know. For a photo where you stick your tongue out like $3, I guess? No. More than $3? bucks? There's nothing for three bucks.

That's not true at all. Not even water. Water is like... Closer to ten. Free if you're black. How did black get into this? You know what I mean. You want to act so clever. You want to act like you understand grammar and English and joke so well, but you can't

get the most simple racist joke that I could come up with. Come on. You get it. Let's move on. You are famous for having a long tongue. Yeah. Don't you think you could make a lot of money? money by selling it? Well, I do and I have for half a century every time I got up. No, by cutting out

your tongue and selling it. Oh, you didn't mention it. By literally selling it out. I probably could. I probably could make a lot of money doing that. So why don't you do it? You could probably buy another car. Because you don't have to buy the cow. You can just continue renting it. So every time I stick my tongue out, they pay me. But you could just get a big load of money up front. You're going to get more money for your tongue right now than you will probably for sticking it out, whatever, so on for a couple of years maybe. You sold your gum for 250,000 for a bunch of dumb people

who couldn't find a job. 247,000, yeah. You take a lot of pride in that, I can tell. Well, it went to a good cause, children's hospital. No, it went to youth unemployment. Well, it didn't, but I understand. No, that's, go on your phone. That's exactly what it said.

I'll be sure to do that as soon as I'm off this wonderful program. Well, hopefully that's not anytime soon because I think this is... I know, we have three hours to go. I know. By the way, speaking of my tongue, I would stick my tongue up, but the floor's a little dirty.

I try to stop you from doing that. I got it, the floor, and you still had to do it anyways. I only know five things. I told you, I just keep moving him around like a deck of cards. You're at four right now, so I'm waiting to see the last one. I'm breathless. If you found a giant oil reserve in your backyard, would you inform the government?

Well, legally you have to, yeah. Why? So that you don't wind up in jail and become. somebody's girlfriend, that's why. That seems like a ridiculous law that probably doesn't exist. Oh, I'm sure it does. You can't make... But it's my oil.

I own the land. Why can't I own the oil? But even if you own land, there are property taxes and everything gets taxed. Okay, well, it's still my oil. I'll pay the property taxes and then I'll have a trillion dollars from oil. Right. But the fact that you're making... money in first capital gain. And so you will be charged as much as 40 even more percent.

Okay, well, this is a completely different topic. Now you're just explaining taxes to me as if I would pay them. I'm asking if you would inform the government that there's oil there to begin with, because they might seize it from you. By law, you have to. That's ridiculous. I think you should argue with the government and elect officials that... What about elbow the government? I'll find a low-level politician. Elbow? Yeah. What do you mean? Elbow! I think we have a minute left. Only one more?

Yeah. It has to be a good one then. It doesn't have to be. Is it true that there's pineapple juice inside a mrs. Inside of Lincoln's head? A mrs. A mrs. Yeah, yes.

It's kind of repetitive because we just got there like through nonsense conversation. You wrote all of these yourself? I did. Yeah, you should. Yeah. Well, I just want to thank you for you done. Oh yeah. It was a wonderful experience.

Okay. Well, thanks for coming on. We have to film with Longneck now. He's singing your song.