The Matan Show - Matan Confronts Former CIA Agent About The Epst*in Files...

Episode Date: August 31, 2025

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It won't take long to tell you neutral's ingredients. Vodka, soda, natural flavors. So, what should we talk about? No sugar added? Neutral. Refreshingly simple. everybody welcome back to the podcast today's guest we have Andrew Bustamante welcome in for today's co-host we have Mike please welcome in Mike please are just introduce yourself

in case anybody doesn't know you and since it's like an interview thing you're supposed to talk into the microphone you got it just so it picks up audio okay my name is Andrew Bustamante I'm a former CIA intelligence officer and the founder of everyday spy and by the way just since it's like a video recording, not just audio. We'll be shooting on video. Those cameras are recording, and it's not just for audio. The mics here are just to pick up sound and stuff. The cameras over there will also pick up sound, but that's not the main usage of them.

Okay. Go ahead and introduce yourself, and just remember that. My name is Andrew Bustamante, and I am a former CIA intelligence officer and the founder of everyday spy. But don't talk to the camera, because the camera is only to pick up on video stuff. You're supposed to talk to the mic here, because that'll pick up on audio. Okay. Even on, like, Spotify, you know, it also picks up.

I put the video on there, so you'll be able to see everything. So don't like talk like this and get real close to the camera. Talk to the microphone here. Okay. Go ahead and introduce yourself. My name is Andrew Bustamante. I am a former CIA intelligence officer and the founder of everyday spy. Will the CIA come after me if I shoot my grandma?

No, they will not. How does that make sense? Because they don't care about your grandma. So who do they care about? They care about foreign grandmas, not your grandma. Is your grandma foreign? I mean, she's not from the United States, but she lives here. Hmm, then she might.

Isn't it the central intelligence? What is it? I don't understand it. The central intelligence agency. So that's central. It's supposed to be central intelligence American is what it should say, no? Well, intelligence American isn't them. And I don't know if your grandma's intelligent enough to meet the requirement.

Yeah, I know, but if it's a central intelligence agency, that kind of implies. He's at the central is America, right? The United States. So why wouldn't they come after me if I shot my grandmother? I prefer they don't so it's easier on my end, but I'm just trying to figure out the logistics here. So I think the logistics are that you're free to shoot your grandma and the CIA won't go after you.

I can't promise you about the LAPD or the FBI, but the CIA will not bother with it. Why would the CIA let some random guy leave their organization and start revealing their secrets instead of just killing them? CIA doesn't really want to kill the people who leave the organization because that would be something that is illegal and something that can track back to them when all of your former people by who are their members in the CIA by FBI yeah but I mean they're working together right no the CIA is not working with the FBI there are two different

branches of government yeah right that I mean it's like uh saying the vice president isn't working with the president there it's a vice president job role you know what I mean but in the same branch of government I know that it's a little more distinct than that I'm just saying generally they're still working for the same thing, right? Well, generally, things are generalized, and the specificity is what matters. Well, it would be like if somebody works at McDonald's and somebody works at McDonald's headquarters. They're still working for the same thing.

It's more like somebody works at McDonald's and somebody works at Burger King. No, that's not true because that's a competitor. But they're working in the same thing. They're working at fast food. No, that would be like if you're saying the CIA in the KGB. Because that's the same job, but it's in opposition. No, so CIA. CIA guy would know this. Maybe you're not a real one.

CIA and FBI are in competition. They're in different branches of government. They're trying to figure out shit on the other guy. They are checks and balances. They're writing checks and stuff? I don't understand. Checks and balances is exactly what... I thought they're trying to find secrets. They're like lawyers and stuff. CIA is trying to find secrets. FBI doesn't care so much about secrets.

So then they're not competitors. They have two different jobs. They're competitors on each other because FBI is there for law enforcement. So if CIA breaks the law, FBI holds them a... accountable to who the CIA to the executive branch the president yeah but the president is the one who talks into the microphone because it's not just on video you also talking to the microphone who will be responsible for 912 will it be the jews again i don't know what 912 is and when it happens i'm sure we'll find out well i mean the day is going to happen it's pretty clear right 912 we just don't know what year or what day in september

Yeah, we do. September 12th. Then we don't know what year. That's true. I'm just asking who do you think will be responsible, not when it will happen one year. Yeah, we will find out when it happens. Who do you think was responsible for 9-11? I think it was extremists. Which ones? That's the open question.

Yeah, I'm asking you. Well, what I know about 9-11, 2001, was largely classified. Oh, largely classified? So that would imply that there's information That's not known by the public on it, right? And can you tell us about that or no? No. Why not?

Because it's not known to the public. What would happen if you told us that it was the Jews? I would be held criminally liable for sharing. You would be held criminally liable if you told us it was the Jews? No. That's what I asked, though. That is what you asked. I apologize for interrupting.

So I caught you there. I got you a little bit. You got me not being patient for your question. fair so who's your person you know without revealing information who's your guest on who it was who's my guest on who it was yeah who's my guess yeah who it was i don't have to guess okay well so who was it was extremists of of al-qaeda connection what does that mean i mean you're not being super specific i can't be super specific it's classified information yeah i know but it's like you're come on you're doing an interview you might as well say it

I can go to jail if I say what classified information. Yeah, but that's implying that you really did work for the CIA by FBI. CIA? I'm just saying that whole thing. Maybe if you didn't, you can just give a guess. Oh, if I didn't, I could give all sorts of guesses. So go ahead. And then if they asked, you just say you didn't.

I wish it would work that way, but it can't work that way. Why don't you just plead insanity? I think life is better if you're sane than if you're insane. Yeah, well, you're not really insane. You're just pleading it. But then if I plead it, I have to be, I have to act it for the rest of my life. No, just act it until the trial's over with. They can rerun it, you know what I mean?

Trials take a long time these days. Yeah, but you don't have to act like that inside your home. What are they going to wire your home? That wouldn't be legal. Then you'll call the FB-L-A-P-D. And you'll get a Mexican guy who shows up and he's not going to be able to figure anything out. He's going to try putting a wire up his ass.

So wiring is legal if you're trying to close a court case, and pleading insanity would be... They're allowed to put wires in my house. If they believe that you're a criminal and they're opening a criminal investigation, absolutely. Wouldn't that breach, like, privacy stuff? If you're not an American citizen, you don't have privacy stuff. If you are an American citizen, your privacy stuff only extends as far as your legal... So if you're just an immigrant, but you're on a green card, they can do whatever they want.

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The new outlander. Bring out your adventurous side. Mitsubishi Motors drive your ambition. Oh, really? So if, I mean, that's good to know. Can I do that to somebody, even though I'm not part of the CIA? Can I put wires on a green card person or just an immigrant in general? That's actually a very good question.

I don't know the answer. I don't know how American law... I wouldn't want to protect... Go ahead. Well, I don't know how American laws protect foreigners against American citizens. That's actually an excellent question. Can a member of the CIA mal-deck somebody who's an immigrant? Immigrants that are here illegally have no American protection.

So they can actually rape them? Well, that's a great question. again. See? You got some solid. I'm thinking on such a next level. This is why people think I'm so intelligent. There's a, yeah, there's like a weird, dark, but valid set of questions there. Right. I'm not asking for my own personal gain. I would never have any interest in doing so. You would look like you might though, so that's why I ask. Well, it's, it's, uh, you didn't deny it. It's a very strange gap in process and due process, whether, not, the American citizen would certainly be held liable for a criminal act, but a criminal

act against an illegal immigrant. I don't know what jurisdiction. I guess the way I would use this, if I'm allowed, I guess if you could get an answer for me. I don't know if you still have connections over there. I would like to know if I can just, like, shoot and kill them and then take what's in their pockets, because at that point, it's like an amazing opportunity. There's got to be some reason that we can't do that. I mean, honestly, there must be a reason why you can't condone an illegal foreign immigrant on American soil. I just don't know

what that is. I will actually look up the answer to look it up. What do you think it was? Who's your guess here? Since you don't have classified info. What are we talking about now? Is it still 9-11 or 9-12? Well, yeah, you don't have info about that either. Who do you think it will be? On 9-12? Yeah.

The Iranians? The Iranians? Yeah. Working in conjunction with themselves or with you know who? With the Russian. With the Russian? Which is you know who. Oh, really? It's like Voldemort, yeah.

Wow. Do you smell like shit on purpose? No. So, go ahead, I guess. Sorry about that. I work very hard to try to smell better, but it doesn't always work. I wasn't saying you smell bad. I just thought maybe you were doing a bit.

Can you make some room for him? Sure. Just move over to that side, since you have a mic, which is used for audio. the mic doesn't pick up video by the way Who do you think he's more powerful The CIA or Jimmy B's from Mr. Jimmy From Mr. Jim? No

The CIA or Jimmy B is from Mr. Jimmy I don't know who Mr. Jimmy is You don't know you're not familiar with like Mr. Beast and stuff Oh is Mr. Beast Mr. Jimmy That's the channel name, yeah. Mr. Jim, no, what? Jimmy B's from Mr. Jimmy. I don't know, but I would say that CIA is probably more powerful.

And how can you know that for sure? Because in general, they are a very powerful organization, and I don't know how powerful the other organization is. Is he asking if I drink chocolate milk? I think he asked if you liked it. Why did you ask you? me that instead of responding to him i don't i don't speak his language right now uh i did drink you who is a child so you do like chocolate milk is this even chocolate milk actually that's another good question first ingredient is water second ingredient is high fructose corn syrup i don't think

that's chocolate drink yeah amazing right but they put iron in it that makes it better did they put iron i'm guessing i thought that's for making like a sword and a peacax i don't understand Why would they put iron in there? That's a good question. It's probably good for... So you don't have any answers. You just tell me I'm asking good questions. That's what you're learning to do at the CIA.

Yeah, but that's not interesting. It's like I'm talking to him. He seems pretty interesting. No, he ain't. Just you have to take my word on that. What are the CIA's plans with RFK? I don't know that the CIA has any plans with RFK. I will say that...

You'd be surprised. I will say that RFK thinks... that CIA has plans for him. What does he think the plans are? What does he think the plans are? Yes. They're probably nefarious in some way because he's got pretty checkered past

with suspicions about CIA and its own family. And do you believe him? No, I don't believe. Maybe CIA of 1970s would do something terrible, but not the CIA of 2020. Do you think the CIA is responsible for him talking like that? I think his suspicions of the CIA are responsible for him.

him talking like that. But do you think they actually are responsible? I heard two different theories. One was the CIA and one I see these videos with him like where he has bugs in his arms and on his shoulders and stuff. And then he said there was a worm in his ear. So that would also explain it. But maybe the CIA tricked him into thinking that was okay.

I don't think there's any active effort to try to trick him. I will say that that CIA's activities prior to 9-11 were not always communication. communicated or coordinated well. So you think they're responsible for 9-11, and then after that, oh, CIA was responsible for 9-11. CIA certainly shares a large responsibility for 9-11. They commissioned it. That's part of what the commission in the Congress discovered.

Why would the CIA let you say this instead of just killing you? Most of what I say isn't worth the public debacle of trying to kill me. Well, before you started doing podcasts, I mean, it's not like I think you're saying anything like revolutionary, but since you're a former CIA guy, I mean, it kind of just maybe has more ground to some people, so wouldn't it just be easier for them to just chop you up? It's quite

difficult to disappear a person. It's actually very difficult to chop a person up. Well, it's probably not that hard if you're the CIA, you know? I mean, it's still difficult to make a person disappear. If you find a girl attractive, should you ask for their number or punch them in the head and then put them in a bag? I would recommend asking

for a number first. maybe later why not right now i don't really know if we would be good friends right now what would make you think that he doesn't seem you want to be my friend comfortable i don't know that

anything in this room makes me feel like i want to be anyone's friend this is the closest room i've been to to an interrogation room in a long time yeah but he's a happy guy he's not a weird little baby or something he's drinking yoohoo and acting like that

that's what I'm saying he's a happy like he's a little jolly kid right see he doesn't want me touching it sorry about that why is it illegal in 49 dumb states besides smart West Virginia to have sex with the dog

I didn't know it was legal oh it is that's wild have you been to West Virginia I haven't been yet but I have a trip coming up so find a good dog well yeah that's why I'm going

I'm just kidding around. I'm not going to cut that out. Because that is why I'm going. I just don't want that online. So go ahead or just cut it that out. Yeah, go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead to West Virginia.

No, yeah. Go ahead. Like, why is it illegal there? I don't know. Why isn't it illegal? I don't know why it isn't illegal there. You have anything to do without or do you know who might? I actually don't know why sex with a dog would be of anyone's legal.

concern in any state so there should be no laws about it it's an interesting area where i don't understand why there are laws about it you know this is sound like someone who wants to fuck a dog no this is just it's a very interesting question as to who it is that's defining the legal obligations of animals probably somebody who isn't interested in having intercourse with an animal yeah right but also they're they have to be interested enough to pass a law about it and passing a law is not an easy thing it takes it takes conversations it takes gaining they're interested in the idea of preventing it not actually doing it themselves maybe but how how are you interested in preventing it if you're not thinking about people doing it

you are thinking about people doing it just not yourself or are you i don't know maybe but still i mean i guess they're trying to get the good outcome well actually no i think wigs virginia's actually smart here do you think the same law exists for cats Do you think the same law exists for... Well, just generally, beastiality is allowed in West Virginia. Now, so then if it's bestiality, that's an interesting question, because beastiality is legal in other countries in many cases. And that's smart of them, you're saying.

No, it's just interesting that we would be passing laws that basically differentiate us from other countries. The idea of what... Well, yeah, that seems obvious, right? But the idea of how much energy goes into passing a law is a very interesting idea to me, because that's what our lawmakers and policymakers are spending their time on. Somewhere somebody.

Oh, I completely agree. I don't think our lawmakers should spend any time doing that. I think they should only spend time. Actually, I don't even know where I was going with that. Obviously, they would have to spend time preventing people from being able to have sex with dogs, right? It sounds like that's what they're doing, whether or not they need to. You don't think they need to do that? You think that should just be, I guess, open to interpretation?

I don't know. Prep pet owners? I mean, I don't know. That's, we kill animals, we eat animals, we systematically harvest animals, we actually control the genetic, uh, development of animals. It seems like it's kind of strange that you sound awfully suspicious here. Yeah, it's very suspicious. No, you sound suspicious. Oh, like, I'm suspicious.

Do you own a dog? I have a, I have a dog. I'm severely concerned for your dog. I mean, I feel like this year, I don't know how it works, but I feel like they have enough evidence to put a wire in your eyes. house. It'd be a very dull wire. I would hope so, but I don't know if that was, if I agree. Do you think Trump will pardon Jeffrey Epstein?

Jeffrey Epstein is dead. I don't know about that. If Jeffrey Epstein is alive, it's going to be very difficult to pardon him and have that story be congruent with what's been reported so far. No, he was a miracle. Well, if somebody comes back to life from death, Isn't that kind of a reset anyways? Do they even carry their previous responsibilities from before they were dead?

Some people might be doubters and not be in good faith. They might say, as they're lying, that maybe he just wasn't dead the first time, because their pieces of shit. It's a strange, it's a strange setup. If Jeffrey Epstein comes back to life, maybe Trump will pardon him. And what do you think Trump will do first? Release the flight logs or release the Epstein? The Epstein, what? The Epstein.

The body? The Epstein body? The guy, you know who. If he comes back? No, he's already. I'm sure he's here somewhere. I don't think either of those things will be released. Why is that?

It doesn't. Have you seen the flight logs? I have not seen the flight logs. If there would have been any benefit politically to releasing them, they would have already been released. So that means the fact that they're not being released shows that there's a political benefits that are not releasing them. The benefits politically change sometimes, you know, there's a lot more pressure now.

Political change, if that were to happen, would most likely come from some sort of activist activity, not from... Yeah, but there are a lot of people who are pissed off, maybe not like protests, but that's what I'm saying. Well, I mean, we've seen that protests haven't really done much for change the last thing. Well, yeah, but maybe if they keep going at some point, I'll be like, I understand you, fine, I'll release Epstein. That could happen. That makes sense to me. Then everybody will be pretty satisfied. We'll find out. If some kid tries knocking on my door during Halloween,

do I get to shoot him because he's on my property? I don't think all states protect your property with violence. That doesn't sound right. I don't think, depending on state law. But I will say that generally you're supposed to communicate to your trick-or-treaters whether or not they're allowed on your property by using a light on your front door. So if you have turned on the light You're inviting the trick-or-treaters

That's a law Technically you shouldn't shoot them Okay how about this I'll turn off the light But I'll be sitting right at the door With a pump Shotgun And I'll be waiting for some kid

To try to fuck with me How about that? I mean if they fuck with you You might actually have grounds If they try to fuck with you Who's determined to what's fucking with me To me fucking with me Is like knocking on the door

Asking for a candy Can I put eight holes in the guy? I wouldn't recommend it But I would say that the judge of the court system that you... Wouldn't that be helpful for society? If you could shoot your trick-or-treaters? Yes.

It would not be helpful for the candy market, for sure. Yes, it would, because now I'm going to have to eat it all myself. I might become overweight and then have a desire to eat more. Then maybe you should look for that lobby. What does that mean? Find the person who would go to government and lobby you the right to shoot children. Who would lobby that? Somebody somewhere probably would take on that lobby

Maybe George Santos I don't know if it's got a winning chance for George Well he's my only connection now So that might be my only option Will you take the drug that makes you go insane For five seconds before killing you? No Why not?

I don't want to die And we've already covered that I don't really want to be insane that's a good point but it's only for five seconds but then the death comes after that that's only for potentially no time at all or death is permanent depends how you view it here I guess

I view it as permanent you view it as permanent how can you know that if they're about to bring back the Epstein clearly that wasn't permanent well you said the Epstein isn't dead he isn't anymore because they brought him back Did he take the pill?

No, well Probably not I don't think that's how they dealt with him Do you have any information on that? I have no information on Jeffrey Epstein So you can just give your opinion on him? I can give my opinion on Jeffrey Epstein Go ahead, I guess

I think Jeffrey Epstein Most likely killed himself in prison Really? Really? Really? Really, you think you kill himself? So I've had the chance to consult with other very wealthy people who go to prison on charges that are both just and unjust. And they almost all have the same thought that goes through their head.

They almost all consider whether or not they should just die in prison or kill themselves. Yeah, but I don't know. I just, I don't really think it's very likely, right? I think it's the most likely, most probable explanation. I agree that there are other explanations that are less likely and less probable. So you don't believe it was something to do with the Clintons or the other politicians? It could have been. I think there's a different scale.

What do you think the percentages are? I would say it's probably... What's the percentage chance that he got hit by a thunderbolt from... Zeus? Yeah. Low. But on the scale here, because everything is a percentage, right? everything is a percentage right so i would say it's probably a 40% chance that he killed himself

that's not a majority if you have three different categories that's that's a majority so there's 40% i think that he killed himself there's probably a 30% chance that he was killed on behalf of someone else and then there's probably a mix of two to five percent two to five percent for the other conspiracy theories that are out there that's 72 to 75 percent that math doesn't make any sense The remainder goes into the five or seven other conspiracy theory. Oh, so actually you don't think he killed himself. You think that that's just the most likely option? Correct.

Okay, so then why would you say you think he killed himself? Because I believe that what happened is the most likely option. Yeah, but you said that to 40%, that math doesn't make any sense. 40% is that he killed himself. That's not 50. Correct. Then you have to add on 35% that somebody in the prison system killed him. that brings you to a total of 75

and then the remaining 25% I know you're attributing those to all the other conspiracies but you're like what you think he's actually the most likely is that he didn't kill himself but you can't pin exactly what happened yes but that's not how you awarded it the first time see I tricked you again

thank you for clarifying what's the bird to do ratio in the CIA the what to is it Jew ratio is that what you said bird to Jew bird to Jew? I don't even know what that ratio is. How the CIA uses the fake birds to spy on us? Oh, are the Jews also fake or are the Jews real?

I'm formerly Jewish, so unfortunately they're real. So then bird to Jew ratio at CIA, I don't even know how to calculate. You didn't experience any of the things with the birds? All the birds I encountered at CIA were real. You have to say that? All the Jews I encountered at CIA were real too. That I know to be the case. And that was probably what?

everybody you interacted with over there There's actually more Mormons than Jews That's not true How do you know it's not true? Because you're a liar, I can tell You're laughing That's what a guilty person does You weren't laughing when we were talking about Epstein

That's true, I wasn't laughing during Epstein See what I mean? Did you ever get to work with Tucker Carlson? No, I have not yet gotten to work with Tucker Carlson I'm saying from when you were in the CIA And he was working there too, maybe? I don't know that Tucker Carlson was ever affiliated with CIA, but I did not work with him at CIA, nor have I worked with him after.

He denies it, but, I mean, it seems maybe, like, sort of obvious. His dad was in the CIA. I didn't know that. You never got the chance to work with him? I didn't know that Tucker Carlson's dad was CIA. I think his dad was in the CIA. I think he... I mean, I'm not sure about this.

I've just heard rumors that he's in there, too, now maybe. I don't know. You're not sure? I'm not sure. I don't know. If you knew, would you not be allowed to talk about it? It depends on whether or not he would be undercover. If his dad was undercover and I knew about it, then I wouldn't be able to talk about it.

If his dad was there and he was not. So why would anybody really trust anything you're saying? They don't have to. Yeah, but that's obviously, that's not what you want, right? You do want them to trust what you're saying. That's just an easy cop-out because that sounds like something, somebody who is a trustworthy person would say like i don't care if you trust me i know i'm being honest uh it's not a cop out it's it's just good practice you shouldn't really trust anything

you hear from anybody you should always vet whatever you hear to see whether or not it's true that's what every intelligent educated person should do where are they hiding teupac i sadly believe Tupac is dead. Tupac. I don't know who Tupac is. The rapper? Tupac. Tupac.

The African American rapper from the 90s? The African American rapper from the 90s is most likely dead. What happened to him? If he's hiding, then I hope he comes back. I saw a picture of him and Michael Jackson from the Bahamas last summer. If Michael Jackson was still alive and Tupac were still alive, then there's still hope for the future. What? Now you're claiming that M.J. is dead?

I hope MJ is alive He made good music No he was a basketball player He was still the best If Epstein is still alive Do you think Trump is keeping him in a In a female juvenile detention center No

Why not Then he gets all what he wants But then it also becomes very clear Through the juvenile detention center That there shouldn't be Yeah but they're women So they're not smart enough maybe to tell anybody But it's also a commercial prison system

So that means it's most likely Some sort of male dominated commercial industry No, they just trumps the mail in there Like I guess monitoring this guy being a sexual deviant If that scenario that you've painted happens Then maybe everything has something on Trump He said I won't release it And I will go to jail to make it easy

Just pretend that I'm dead And send me to where the 12 year old girls are You know anything about that? I don't know anything about that. That's a lie. I can tell. It's an interesting possibility. I think you're lying.

I think you know something about that. I printed millions of dollars with illegal printing machines. What are you going to do about it? Nothing. You don't get to do anything about that? Have you tested the dollars to see if they are sellable? No, I sold the dollars. Have you printed more?

What can you do about it first before I continue this? So that's outside of it. of CIA's concern. Who does that have to go through? That would go through FBI's counterfeit team and possibly the IRS's counterintelligence team.

The IRS, those are the guys who do the taxes. Right. But those guys aren't good. I haven't paid them in years and I haven't heard anything. Well, you're probably not making enough money

for them to care that you haven't paid them. I mean, if that's what they think, then amazing, right? Correct. That's what the most people don't realize that they could get away with embezzlement

or they could get away with cheating taxes to about $50,000 in taxes. So if you're getting less than a $50,000 refund, you can basically lie on your taxes and the chances of you being audited are very low. You're still taking a risk, but it's pretty low. What if I...

What if I say that there's like five different versions of me that are all making a little bit less than $50,000? Depending on how you set those versions of you up, you could get away with it. I just come out in like different outfits to like meet with the banks. You could try that. That may not work. Why not?

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my money at 7-Eleven. That's a fairly safe place to keep your money. Yeah, because I have the deal with the guy. It's like my money. It's sort of how a bank is. It's not like they physically have my money. But if I go to that 7-Eleven, whatever money is in the register, I get to take out a portion of it. That's most likely not being recorded by IRS anyway. Well, what would they have to record? I mean, it's not illegal to do that.

It's, depending on the agreement that you made with the 7-Eleven owner, it could be illegal to do that. Why would that be illegal? All I told him was that he gets to hold my money. I just have to, I don't know. It's either he earns interest or I earn an interest. I don't know. Right.

And the illegal portion is an IRS's concern anyways. That would be an FBI or police concern. Yeah, but the police... Have they been hiring women in the IRS? They do hire women at the IRS. So maybe that's why. Would you like to go dumpster diving with me later today at GameStop? I wonder what's...

I don't think anything valuable comes from the GameStop trash. That's not true. I went one time. I got $74 bucks after. shipping. If it was worth it to dive into a dumpster, then yes. I guess it depends what worth it is to you. I don't really know. $75 isn't worth it to me. 74. 74 is less worth it to me. Why, a dollar is really that much of a difference maker between doing it and not doing it? Dollars are declining in value. That's true. You said you would do it for 75, but not 74?

No, I said 75 probably wasn't worth it to me. Probably and then 74 you said no. True. So why is the dollar such a big differentiator? By the way, you didn't even say that, but I was able to convince you you did. It doesn't seem, what's going on here? Are you crazy? $75 isn't worth it to me. $74 is even less worth it to me. No, but originally you said 75 is probably not worth it, right?

I don't remember. See, I've confused you. You don't even know what you said at this point. It's true. Would I be a good, like, uh... Interrogator, yes. Interrogator guy? This is all a very good setup.

Because you know what I could do? I could just confuse the guy until he says what I want. And that's exactly an interrogation strategy. Oh, is that what they do? That is what can be done. See, I'm telling you, I'm good at it. You are quite good at it. Because once I get people down to the level I'm working at, it gets real stupid.

Do they train the CIA agents like I train my dog? Wham with a stick! Wham with a stick! Wham with a stick! Yes, there's an element of behavioral training like you would do with your dog. No, that training. That's the training I do with my dog. The wham with the stick is not actively being used at CIA.

Why not? He worked with my dog. When I see him, he knows the boss. He starts, he's in the corner. But dogs are different than people. That's because they're not being treated like dogs. Because they have rights in every state except West Virginia. No, but that's my whole point.

When people aren't so different from dogs, they're just being treated differently. Fair also. So why don't we treat the CIA agents like that? To a certain extent, they are treated with conditioning. They get wham with a stick? Why am I with a stick? It's just not the same stick that you use with your dog. Why not?

I use a wooden stick from the tree outside of my house. Because there are laws that protect against striking Americans. I don't understand why. Who does that help? It helps Americans from being struck a stick. It doesn't help Americans. It helps CIA agent. but those people are to serve Americans.

And those people are also a simultaneously American citizen. Yeah, but they have to make a sacrifice at some point. They can't have everything all at once. That's true. They want to serve Americans while being Americans, so they get to decide what they want and do stuff based on that. See, their interest won't align with what is actually good for others. That's part of...

That's why they need to get whammed with a stick. Wham with a stick. But they didn't do that to anybody, you know. I mean, I know a few people that got whammed with a stick. Oh, yeah? It's not common. It's just not common to do it to everybody. But I thought you said it was illegal.

Maybe I need to report you to the FBI. In certain cases, you can waive your permission for physical abuse so that you can go through certain trainings at CIA. That might not be true. You would think that, but I researched one time. I was thinking about getting somebody to sign away their rights and do a release form where I get to lock them in a room for 47 hours, 48, 47 hours. But then when I looked it up, it said it wasn't legal,

even if they signed the release form. So releases are not usually things that can withstand court, which is unfortunate because that means... So then I could report it to the FBI and whatever these guys signed might not actually matter. But it's not illegal. Signing a release that won't stand in court isn't an illegal action.

Yeah, but he could just sue for the crime then of hitting him with a stick. Potentially, potentially, yeah. That's my point. The release form isn't illegal in and of itself, but it doesn't prevent anything. Right. That's also true.

See, I know more than you. I'm agreeing with you. See, this is stressing me out because people are going to start thinking I'm part of the Mossad. And I don't want that correlation. You know, I used to be Jewish, so people already sort of give me that.

I'm pretty sure that according to the Jewish faith, you can't used to be Jewish. That's what people keep telling me, but I have to keep clarifying. I'm not of the Jewish faith, so that standard doesn't apply to me. But there's also a culture. I'm of a new faith.

says, if you give one of them a knuckle sandwich, you're no longer Jewish. How about that? That's what you choose to believe. That's what I choose to believe is stopping me. Clearly not the guy with a knuckle in his face. You know what he had for dinner that day? No. What do you think? Knuckle sandwich? Nope, nothing, because his lip was busted from when I punched him. That's pretty cool, ain't it? That's a good answer. See, you thought I was going with it. I got you again. You got me again. I keep freaking you. One step ahead. I'm starting to think you're not part of the CIA. I'm starting to think you are part of the Mossad. See, that was a good comeback.

Because he bothered me a little bit. Who should decide what's normal? Normal people or crazy people? Normal people. And how do we know that they're normal? Isn't that a paradox? It is a paradox, but at least we... So then why don't we let the crazy people decide the ones?

Because we know they're crazy. According to who us, maybe we're crazy, they're normal. If you and I are the ones determining the definition of normal and crazy we can't let the crazy people define the normal activities and we can't and we are already defining a normal group because we but they don't they think they're the normal ones and we're the crazy ones so what because there's more of us we get to decide what happens to them that doesn't seem fair it's not fair all you guys wanted to do is have sex with the dog so in west virginia but you want to do that in i don't understand you have more of a i feel like when it comes to

people like you who want to do that they almost want to do it in the states where it's illegal to get more of like a boost out of it. Can you tell me from your personal experience? I have no personal experience here. But I will say... You don't have a physical experience, but you have desires to do it. I have neither physical experience nor desires to do it. I am saying that it's not fair that the majority gets to define the definitions for the minority

to your normal and crazy comparison. That's not fair. But whenever it comes to the idea of living in a society, society by default is not fair. Society by default is a hierarchy where majorities rule. Okay, so why then I get shit when I say the hierarchy should be decided by, you know what? What's, you know what? You know what? What's money, fingers?

No. No? Yes. Come on, you know what I'm getting at. I don't know what you're getting at. Let me ask you one final thing, and then we can wrap it up because I have to shoot with long neck. And this is sort of related to that, I guess. what are the requirements to join it?

To join CIA? Yes. You have to be an American citizen? Longneck is an American citizen. Who is Longneck? He's the next guest, but he also wants to join the CIA. Okay. He's like an Instagram guy who's been trying to get in the CIA.

Okay. So I'm just... Do I get to meet him? You can meet him outside after, yeah. Okay. You have to be an American citizen. You have to be a college graduate. You have to have a clean criminal record.

Oh, okay. You have to be under the age of 38. Uh-uh. Okay, he might be like 34. So he could still get in on the age But he doesn't, I don't know if he graduated middle school And I'm almost sure he's been arrested Then he probably can't get into CIA

Why? But all he got arrested for was like little stuff Well, little stuff still shows that you're willing to break the laws of your own land In CIA, you need to be able to break the laws of foreign land While adhering to the laws of your own homeland So what can we send him to Germany or France and he'll break laws over there and that'll, like, one to one, it'll kind of... He may not be able to become a uniformed or what we call an official blue badge CIA officer, but he...

That's not fair. All he did was nothing. He could always become a CIA asset if he has access to foreign intelligence. So why does he get to be an asset, but he can't join? What if he brings enough intelligence? Like his friend, for example, Wide Neck got arrested, I believe, for allegedly messaging a minor. Okay. If he was the one who revealed that, which he wasn't, could he have...

been in the CIA. Hey, my friend is messaging a minor, right? That's information. But that's not foreign information. But it's even better because he didn't reveal it. That's how you know he's trustworthy. That might make him a very good covert informant for FBI. Well, it just makes him a creep, I guess. But it's okay. I got a film with him. Thanks for coming on. Absolutely. Yeah, that's it. I guess. Thank you. And if you want to become friends with this guy here, he's getting out of here. We brought him here for your episode. Thank you. if he wants to be a friend oh do you want me to sit back down i'm guessing you want me to sit back down since your point for your camera

i thought the episode was over i'm sorry awkward guy on my right and awkward guy on my left Yeah, remember you're supposed to talk into the mic. You tried going over there talking to the camera. I warned you.