The Matan Show - Matan Confronts Professor Jiang For Being a Chinese Spy

Episode Date: September 27, 2026

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Hello everybody, welcome back to the podcast for today's guest. We have Professor Jang. Welcome in. Thanks for coming. For today's co-host, we have Mike. Welcome in Mike. Mike, take your fucking seat. Thanks for coming.

Thanks for having me. So could you please pull the mic close to your mouth and then introduce yourself to anybody who might not know you and all that one and that one? Okay. So I'm a professor Jiang who is not a professor Jiang. Yeah. You're not Professor Jiao? I am not Professor Jiang. That is my official YouTube name.

Not a professor. Oh, you're not an official professor? I'm not an official professor. Do you call yourself a professor to trick the dumbest people in the world into giving you more credibility when you speak? No, the dumbest people in the world call me a professor because they don't know better. Well, that's exactly what I just said.

I see that's one of your tactics I've been seeing on the interviews. You'll hear something. and then you'll repeat it as if you're saying something different, especially when it has a negative connotation. No, no, no. What you said is I am purposefully misleading people, and what I just said is I am being led by people, and I just go along with it.

So it wasn't your choice to call yourself Professor Zhang. It was not my choice. That was American people, the Chinese people, people who was that who made that decision? Um, well, we're talking about the dumbest people, so it would be American. So the Nepalese, probably actually. I think the Americans are dumber, but... No, no way. All of the charts show way the opposite.

Americans are right around the middle. The Nepalis are... I mean, I've already went over this. But anyways, you're most well known for your predictions, right? Yes. So can you predict what I'm about to pull out of my pocket? You will pull a red rabbit. Are you ready? Ready?

Yeah. I can't even see you. Oh, I have no idea what that is. Scrambled eggs. Oh, that was hard to do. See, you weren't able to predict that. Okay. So does that mean that I'm smarter than you, or what does that mean?

It means that the universe is not working as it should today. You have disrupted the force in the universe. I'll give you another try. Okay. What do you predict I will do next? You will eat the scrambled eggs. That is correct. Okay, we've restored balance to the universe.

Very, very tasty. John. I'm so happy I got to eat those eggs out of my pocket. But I got you the first time. Right. So I'm really an all-around winner. I restored the universe. I'm like Loki, sort of, but I also defeated the great professor, John.

Yeah, so congratulations, Loki. The great professor, John. Can I call you that? Yeah, you can call me whatever you want. Can I call you... It's your show. Can I call you... Professor Jeannie?

You can. It's your show. Awesome. So we will use that then. Do you think a good way to test if a girl is a gold digger is to hide in the restroom when the bill comes and then say you shit your pants? No. The best way to test if a girl is a gold digger is to be a homeless person.

Yeah, but that's not really practical. You know what I mean? rich person and then you're dating a girl or you're going on a date with a girl becoming a homeless person is not something you can practically immediately do. Hey, I have a question for you. Yes. And I was wondering about this the entire day. But do homeless people have s s s sht. Probably either with themselves or with animals as opposed to with each other, but some of them definitely with each other. Yeah. So when you go to a homeless shelter. You were wondering about that? No, I was wondering about that because I was on the subway and it's like a homeless community on the subway.

It's smell and I was like, wow, these people really smell. I mean, what does it like to have s s'-hs together? Well, you got to imagine that for them, that smell is completely normal. They live on that subway a lot of them. I understand, yes. Like when I got to where we're at right now, I actually thought it smelled a bit strange, but I no longer smell it. Maybe that's just how it smells here in Toronto, but I wasn't used to it. Now, even just after one day, it's completely normal to me.

Yeah. What you will also discover after a day in Toronto is your IQ will drop out by about 20 points. By 20 points? Yeah, 20 points. So if a slightly dumb person comes here within about a day, they will become actually re-h-h-h-h-oh. No, no, that person will become Prime Minister of Canada. Oh, okay. Yeah.

But I thought you said their IQ will drop 20 points. Right. But once you drop to a certain level, it then jumps up again. And what about you? What happened? But you live here? I live here, yes. So what are the consequences of that?

Are you dropping by 20 daily? Um, no, I try not to breathe. Okay. Yeah. Well, you're failing at that because you're alive. Um, well, I've been here for a long time. I grew up here. Okay.

So you could be 20 points IQ higher, actually, is what you're saying and what you are now. Yes. And what are you now? IQ wise. Have you taken a test? I have not. Do you want to do an IQ test on me? Well, I can.

I'm not a licensed What is it? A therapist, do you have to be? No, I think you'll be a licensed psychologist. Yeah, I'm not a licensed psychologist, nor do I have the test with me. But I think you should do one. I will. I will now.

Yes, I'm curious. I saw you were collaborating recently with Sneco. He actually connected us, and he took a live IQ test. And what was his IQ? I believe he got a 79. Is that good? No, no. It's really bad, actually.

That's really, really, really. bad. Well, maybe they were discriminating against him. Maybe it's just racism. Being Asian, should actually have a higher one. But is he also black? I think he's more Asian than black. I could be wrong though. I would have to ask him. Well, it's probably racism. So yeah. Do you have a chip in your brain that will disable you if you ever betrayed the motherland? That's a good question. So I don't know, but I should check. Well, I'm asking, assuming you know, maybe that's why I've seen you very rarely speak poorly of China.

Okay, you have not been watching enough on my YouTube videos because I actually talk a lot of trash about China. But there's always like weird stipulations. And I will also say for somebody, you said you live in Beijing half of the year? I live in Beijing most of the year. For somebody who lives in Beijing for most of the year, you'd think they'd be a little bit cautious about coming to Canada, speaking about China and then going back to Beijing. They'd be maybe a little worried about the consequences. I like living life on the edge. It's not really a question of if you want to live on the edge. It's more of a question of how are you getting away with it?

Right. That's a good question. So I think it's because I speak English and they don't speak English. Oh, so they don't understand you over there. They don't understand what I say. That's a good point. Maybe, you know, you are what you eat. Yeah.

Have you considered that? Have you considered like they don't just understand what I'm saying? No, well, are you asking me seriously or is a joke? Because I am seriously curious how you would say negative things about China or potentially negative things about China and then live in Beijing because obviously them not speaking English is not the answer. But it is... Visit BetMDM casino and check out the newest exclusive.

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Defani, witty response. Yeah, so I'm in the gray zone, so I'm not a Chinese citizen. I don't work in China. I don't make money in China. I don't enact with Chinese people. I just happen to... So if you're not a Chinese citizen, you can get away with more? Yes, because they don't care.

What if I go to China tomorrow and then I pee on somebody? Will I get away with it? It depends if you ask for permission first. If you ask politely, sure. Well, of course not. Well, then why would you pee on someone? I don't speak Chinese, remember? I only speak English.

So if I ask, I mean, I could ask, I say, can I pee on you? They're going to go, Ah, blah, blah, blah. Hello, Flintstone. Pist! Well, I mean, I think if you were to pee on that person and then you ask that person to pee in your mouth, I think that would be considered... No, I wouldn't ask him to pee in my mouth afterwards. I would pull my pants up and then I take a video of them trying to clean themselves.

They'd probably be frantic. Imagine you're in China and you're a random Chinese person who's only ever been to China. An American comes over to you in your small, isolated village. Says something in English. you don't understand. You're about asking for a photo so you can show your fellow villagers that you just met somebody who isn't Chinese and then he starts peeing on you. Would you be willing to give this person money after you pee on that person? I will give him pesos maybe just to confuse him and insult him even further. I'll give him Argentinian pesos. Well, if you're willing to do that,

then you'll probably have a long lot of people waiting to get peed on. So I'll get away with this in China. As long as you want to pay, yes. So can you look at the camera? right now and say, my name is Professor Jingy, and I recommend that American tourists go and pee on people in China. I can't say that. Why not? Why can't you say that? Okay. Well, because I'm not recommending this.

I'm just saying you just asked me, a hypothetical. Dude, you just said that if I do it, people are going to be lining up for it. So now I get... If you're willing to pay. If you win the pay, just go to China. I'm giving them Argentinian pesos. Look, just go to China and says, hey, I'm looking for volunteers. If I pee on you, I will give you $100,

then I think you'll have lots of people waiting in line to get peed on. It's a tough economy. But that has nothing to do with the government. No. No, it's... But that's my point. Am I going to get in trouble with the government? Only people report you for not giving them money afterwards.

Okay, so circling back to the original thing, I'm sure you've been reported to the Chinese government for the things you have said that may be seen as negative towards them. No, I have not because I have not heard anyone in China. I've not broken a law in China. Do you like Xi Jinping? We're brothers. Do you like him?

I said we're brothers. Outside of your blood relation to him. Oh. Do you think about him as a person as a leader? It's complicated. It's complicated? Yeah, it's complicated. Okay.

Yeah. That seems like a good answer to not have to answer. I would not pee on him. I will definitely not threaten to pee on him. I'm not that stupid either. Again, I didn't ask if you'd pee on him. I asked if you liked him. I mean, I like him enough not to pee on him.

And would you consider voting for Mitch McConnell if he ran for president in 2028? Absolutely. He's so articulate and he's so vibrant and he's so dynamic. Absolutely. He's clearly with us. A lot of people are saying that he's not with us, that he's about to die. Oh, that's Mitch McIntype. McConnell.

Who did you think that was? When you walked in, I said, this is Mr. McConnell. I don't know. Some random guy in a wheelchair. Okay. A random guy in a wheelchair named Mr. McConnell that said a place where a podcast is being filled with a suit.

Well, you know what? If Mr. McConnell is sitting beside us right now, I would definitely vote for him in 2028 when he runs to become the president of the United States. Do you have any questions for him? Do you like fucking your wife? Have you ever had to be your wife?

Probably not. Okay, I got it. Okay. Why would you interpret that as a probably not? I would interpret that as he's about to die. Have you seen his wife? No. Okay, well, she's a Chinese spy.

She's a trained spy. No, she's a Chinese spy. Oh, she's a Chinese spy. Yes. It takes one to no one, doesn't it? Yes, it does. Did you guys go to the same school together over there? Yeah.

They said, you'll be McConnell's wife. I know it's a tough job, but you'll have to suck it up and we'll give your kids. We won't torture you. them as much if they're tall, we will let them play basketball and then eventually live in the USA. You will mess with everybody's brains by saying crazy bullshit.

Was that a conversation you had before with the Chinese government and McConnell's wife? No. But I should, yes. And how many people are currently living inside your walls? Is walls a metaphor or a real thing? No, a real thing.

Like how many people are living inside the walls of your house? And as a follow-up, but first to answer that question, are they there invited? Do you think it might be more? Are they having children? Are they breeding? Yeah, so I live with my wife and we have three children. But they're not living in your walls.

Oh, I get what you're saying with the metaphor. Not the walls of your home, inside of the walls. You don't get what I'm saying? I have absolutely no idea what you're saying. You see the wall right there? Yeah. I'm talking about somebody living inside of the wall, not inside of the house that's made out of walls. I have no idea how many people are living inside my wall right now. I've never checked.

Would you be happy if it was more than zero? I'd be very surprised, but I... But would it be a happy surprise? Like, woo-hoo! Or would it be like, oh, my God, oh, my God. I'd be very pleasantly surprised because to me... People were living in your walls. Yeah, because it'd be a miracle. I have no idea.

how people could actually live inside a wall. That would not be a miracle. That would be horrible. That would be so fucking scary. If people were living in your walls that you didn't know about. Are they dead or are they alive? I mean, I feel like if they were dead,

I would have specified that. I mean, that'd be even scarier if they were dead. There's dead people living inside the walls of your house. Do you own your house? Do you know how much the value of your house would go down? Just by that, you probably lose like a billion dollars. Yeah. So we don't own property.

We rent. Oh, I was talking about in Canada. In Canada, I don't own any property in Canada either. Oh, really? Yes. In China, isn't it, that you get to rent it for up to 99 years? No, you buy a house and then you can leave it, you can have it for like 99 years, but then you have to give it back to the government after 99 years.

Right. Is that, and you like that system or no? I don't care because I don't buy property. I just rent. But do you like the system or no? I think communism is great. Have you tried it? No. Okay, well there you go.

Should I try it? Yeah, exactly. Are you a communist? I am a communist and we eat scrambled eggs every day for breakfast. Well, that doesn't sound as good as you think it might. Okay, well, you were the one who told me scrambled eggs are tasty. They're tasty when they come out of your pocket and they've been there for hours. Well, we could do that as well.

That's going to take a lot more work than I think you're expecting. Right. Because imagine how many times during the day you're going to be tempted to eat them. Yeah. And then you have to remind yourself, the longer you're, you leave it in the better they are. And then now, if you are somebody with a lot of self-control, now

you're fighting it, you're like, well, maybe I should eat them now. And then you're like, oh, well, I'm Mr. Self-control. I should never eat them. This is why communism is the greatest system in the world, because we can guarantee each other more eggs out of your pocket every single day for every meal. Right.

And what about sugar cookies? Do you like sugar cookies? Oh, no. Okay What's going on? Let me I shouldn't block your face Yeah

Am I holding it up a little bit? Okay, I'll hold it up for you yeah. Thank you. All right, here you go Flower, okay Sugar cubes, okay, butter, so, okay Vanila, okay, you think you are making sugar cookies, you are not, okay? You are participating in one of the oldest political systems in human civilization okay flower is peasantry it is everywhere okay it is cheap so okay nobody respect flour okay but without flour there is no cookie okay okay okay I got it

butter controls everything okay if butter is too cold nothing moves okay okay Okay, okay. So the egg is the state, okay. Vanilla is the culture, okay? Structurally unnecessary, but if it is missing, okay, everyone got to notice. Okay. Now you're mixing the flour, okay. Then you will chill the dough.

Okay, so, okay. Then you cut with the cookie cutter, okay. Finally, place in the oven. The oven is the crisis, okay? Some cookie spread, some cookies burn, so, okay, some cookie will survive, okay. Cookie? Israel. Cookie is the Messiah.

Professor Ginger. Okay. I'll leave you with that. Okay, thank you. It was hard to pay attention because while you were talking, and Mitch McConnell was hiding behind this board. He was shir-off. What did you think about my lecture? Obviously, it was a little bit inspired.

And, you know, usually when somebody's inspired by somebody, they'll wait a little bit before going straight to the big dog. Yeah. But I have a lot of self-confidence, so I wanted to present it straight to you. That was brilliant. Thank you so much. Oh, yeah. Thank you.

What did you learn? I learned the sugar cookie is the Messiah. You know what's crazy? I knew that that was what you were going to say. Out of that whole thing, I knew that you were going to say that. I should have planned on saying it at the same time as you. What else did you learn? And now I don't have a guess.

I learned we have too much flour in the world. Flower is everywhere, okay? Yeah. Nobody respect flour. That's right. But without flour, it all goes down. That's right. So, okay.

Okay? Yeah. I was hoping you would respond with okay. Yeah, okay. So, okay? Yeah, absolutely, okay. Are you okay? Yeah.

Where's my sugar cook? Oh, I thought you're going to ask where your shoes are. I was like, wow, you're starting to lose it. Give me my sugar cookie. You're starting to become like McConnell. We don't have any cookies for you, unfortunately. I was just giving a lesson. All right.

Well, my only criticism is you should have had a sugar cookie for me at the end of the lecture. Yeah, but that would be a reward. I should get a sugar cookie for teaching the lecture. Don't you think that makes more sense? No, no, no, because the entire point is to bring the Messiah, right? and the sugar cookie represents a Messiah. So when you give me the sugar cookie, you're telling me the Messiah is close. That would be horrible if I then presented you to eat the Messiah.

That would be terrible. I'll go to hell forever. No, but then I can become the Messiah and you can become the Messiah. We can share the cookie. No, I didn't explain that you were the Messiah or that I was the Messiah. Well, then let's give it to Mitch McConnell. Mitch McConnell is going to be the future president. I know. That's why he's the Messiah. Being the president doesn't make you the Messiah.

There's probably a million presidents of different things all around the world. We don't know what he's going to be the president of. Are you the Messiah? Am I the Messiah? Yeah. No. Okay. Are you?

No. Okay. Right. You said you don't believe Chad GBT's answers are really AI, right? Okay. All right. I was curious about that. Okay.

So, okay. Do you want me to explain this? Or do you want to keep on, like, you know, keep on going? Because, like, explain this. It'll take an hour. That would be really long, but I guess maybe sum it up as best you can in like a minute or two. Okay. Fit to bed.

Okay. So people believe that when they ask chat, GPD a question, they believe it is generated by an AI. Yeah. But what's really happening is the AI is drawing an AI. an answer from a database and catering it to the needs of the user. The sample from this database was human created. And people don't appreciate this. So who's responding when I send the AI a picture of my p-s-to-check if I have cancer?

Hopefully the AI is. So it's not an Indian after all. I never said it was the Indian doing this. I said it was the Indians who create the samples. and who we find... Why would they get... Okay, so you're saying that when you ask AI a question, it's AI answering,

but they're collecting the information from a database created by humans. They are retrieving information from a database that was generated through an action between humans and an AI. But why would the humans here be Indian?

You usually, people give annoying work that's not particularly important to Indians. Like, hey, can you call my mother and pretend to be me? It's her birthday tomorrow. I don't have enough time to talk to that. Motherfucker lady won't get off the phone.

Not like, hey, can you Indians please write all of the important history lessons in AI? Because then you're going to write a bunch of baloney. You know what? I apologize. It's not just the Indians. It's also Nigerians. It's also the Filipinos. That's even worse.

Yeah, I know. I know. The Chachypidates is just a garbage. stump okay yes you know what happens when you have dumb people right about their own country you're gonna ask chat gbt where is nigeria it's gonna say everywhere is nigeria nigeria the best nigeria fuck you nigeria fuck your ass have you ever used chat gbt yeah and it doesn't respond shit like that what's going on like what stop looking at me man keep chr off i've asked chad gbt about nigeria and it doesn't respond stuff like that however i will concede i would be

much happier and use it way more if it did. I agree with that. And as a matter of fact, I've asked Chad GBT a ton about Indians and India. Okay. Okay, so, okay. And,

so all I'm saying is you assume that chat GPT is an objective AI that... Okay, then who's programming the chatchipt to answer the way...

I would probably think either like Americans, Jews, or Europeans, like maybe Australians, but definitely not Nigerians and Indians. Right, okay. That just seems like way too important of a thing to pass off to Nigerians and Indians. Right, okay. And I'm not, right, okay, I agree with you, okay. So, okay.

So let's be clear, there's a division of labor in the ecosystem that is clearly racist. So you're absolutely right in that it's usually white people, Jews, basically, that control the algorithm. And then you have at the very bottom, third world people who do the manual labor, which includes inputting data, labeling data,

which also includes... But this is probably... Is this important data or no? This is just like, this is the annoying work. Yeah, no, it's like... 99% of AI is labeling data. Okay.

Right? So they're doing most of the work, but it is pretty mundane work. And then you have a middle management of engineers who are making sure that the system is working correctly. But what's really important for people to appreciate is that there's always human intervention in this process. It's human curated. So do you use AI or no? I don't use AI. So how do you know if you have testicular cancer then?

Because that's how I've been checking. You've been asking chatypte if you have... That was the whole basis of the question. I usually send every night Chad GBT a picture of my penis and ask you to check if I have cancer. Okay. Well, you might also want to go talk to a doctor. But then you have to have a real guy look at it.

Then it's like, if this guy is gay, then this is really weird. And I don't know how to test it for sure. And there's nothing even that says he's not even allowed. to be gay and it has to be a man too and shit gets starting getting bad. Yeah, yeah, I would consider a doctor. But what if they're gay?

What if it's a gay doctor? How do you know Chachapitia is not gay? Well, are we talking? Is the answer Indian or AI now? I mean, what I've been saying for a long time

is you cannot separate the two. Here's a better, here's a better response. How do I know the AI is not gay? Even if it is gay, it's still not touching my ass. That is an improvement. That is an improvement over the doctor. Exactly, man. Exactly. And there's no, and also there's no child p. On his computer. Yeah, well, that doesn't really matter to me. I mean, do whatever you like in your own free time. But you get my point, right? Yeah. I mean, do you like when the doctor starts putting his fingers in his mouth and then putting it in his ears and then go,

Woo! And then he puts the finger in his mouth again, and he goes, it tastes so bad. Hot, hot! This is why I don't go to doctors. But you just recommended I go to a doctor. If you have test of cancer, yes.

I don't know if I do. I'm checking, so I don't have to go to the doctor. If you are afraid you have test disorder cancer, you should go see a doctor. Because the doubt and anxiety, it's killing you from within. It's an interesting. point. Yeah. If I stay the same bomb I am in the clubs of Manhattan, smoking grass all day,

walking like a goy everywhere I go, then what kind of girl will I get? An Asian girl? The worst of the worst. Okay. Are you saying that Asian girls are the worst of the worst? That's what you just said. No, it's not. I was answering my own question. Right. I was really making a statement. Discs Guys does a question. So then when you give me an answer and I repeat the answer and I reveal that it was actually a statement and not a question, I make you sound stupid. If Osman Gold can get an Asian girl, so can anyone. Are they dating? I saw a clip where there was a girl in his house.

He's probably the easiest guy to send a spy in there and trick, right? I think he'd be very happy if a spy was willing to sleep with him, yes. He would be happy about that or he just wouldn't give a fuck is my point. Like he would not care, and if, and if he found out he could be easily manipulated by the spy who he knows is a spy into thinking it's okay. Yeah. Well, fortunately, she's just a whore, so. Oh, really? Well, I don't know too much about her.

Why do you say that? Is she literally a whore? Well, she's on a f***ing-fand, so. Oh, wow. Okay, yeah. I didn't know that. Would you rather be Lily Phillips or Asman Gold? Oh, shit.

That's a tough one. Probably, you know what? That's the worst of that spectrum, so probably Asmon Gold. What do you have against the Lily Phillips? I said you interview with her and like, like you were so mean to her. She's just this happy person who's trying to bring happiness to this world and you just, you know, you just harassed and insulted her for the whole time she was here. She, it's possible she is the Messiah. Lily Phillips, you're saying might be the Messiah.

She's here to bring peace to the world. Imagine this, okay? Imagine so, okay. These Russians and the Ukrainians, they are about to kill each other, right? You drop Lily Phillips in between them. And she's like, just, you know, just line up. There'll be peace in the world. I think there might be a moment of peace because they would both be so horrifically offended

and they would get together to kill her. But yeah, I mean, you could bring peace for a brief moment. No, I think they would. And then one bullet's going to go astray. and shit's going to start getting wild again, but yeah. I'm sorry. Have you ever had s'-h-h-h-h-n-no? Okay, I figure that, okay?

Guys are dogs. If they see a woman with a v-a-a-a-a-a, they will... Oh, are we dropping her naked? We're dropping her... Exactly, that's the point. Yeah, I mean, there's definitely some soldiers... You drop a naked dog between them and they would stop fighting. What do you mean a naked dog?

What does that even imply? Because most dogs don't have clothes. Are you talking about a dog that has... been had the skin peeled off of him. So a dog that's just screaming and pain that's about to die. Look, somehow he's made to be alive for just a little bit longer. If there's a hole, guys are going to put their p-uhs in the hole?

All right? It's that simple. All right. Anyway, she's a mazaya. Okay, I'll tell you this. I don't know what you're talking about, but I've had a dog and I did not put my p-b-s in his mouth. I think this might be, I think this is probably from where you're from shit like this is going on,

but. No, we eat our dogs. What are you talking about? Don't insult us. Yeah, who do you think is more likely to have s-hs with a dog? A guy who lives with the dog and provides for, oh shit, this isn't a good point I'm making, huh? No, it's not. We're symbolized.

We eat our dogs. You guys. That's actually, I proved myself wrong while I was speaking. Exactly. I can see that one. Yes. We're one now. Okay, yes.

Earlier one I got you with the eggs. All right. And following up on that. Have you ever eaten that dog? Is that something you do over there? I've tried once. And it tastes like chicken. For real, you have tried it?

Yeah, it tastes like chicken. It's not a big deal. Really? Yeah. Have you tried it? Well, no, I haven't been there, but I don't really know if there's much wrong with it, to be completely honest. Yeah. I mean, I get that.

It's better than a dog, yeah. Well, for one, yes, and for two, everybody says that it's not okay because they're domesticated. Mm. But I'm not the one who domesticated them. That happened over, you know, hundreds of years. I don't believe I'm responsible for the actions of my ancestors. So I should be allowed to eat dogs. That's right.

That's right. I support you. So I'll give China a point there. Yes, thank you. We'll take this point. So if the Chinese government is listening here, he's advisor. This is how we achieve. He's listening.

We agree. This is how we achieve world peace, okay? Through dialogue, through conversation. Matan has gone from coming to China to pee on people to come to China. to eat dogs or people. No, absolutely not. I'm going to, well, I'm not going to do this, but if I went to China and I peed on people

and then I ate a dog after, and then I was amped up after, I just had a good meal, and then I could pee again on somebody, this is an unbelievable cycle going on. Yeah, but just make sure to bring lots of money. I'll bring a bunch of Argentinian pesos. I can do that,

but I cannot bring a ton of U.S. money. You know, maybe in a year's time, Argentine pesos will be worth more than U.S. dollars. Is that another prediction you have? Possibly. I think you should be careful about the predictions you make because if you say shit like that when it obviously doesn't happen, you're going to lose some credibility. People are going to stop. Like made me lose a lot of credibility.

Okay. Well, that's besides a point. You've already made that mistake. I'm saying if you start saying that Argentinian pesos are going to be worth more than U.S. dollars and that doesn't happen and it probably won't. People are going to stop calling you Professor Jane. They're going to start calling you educated, jang. You do another one. They're going to start calling you jang.

And then it goes stupid jang. And then it becomes a motherfucker jang. I lost off my money investing in a. You teach you pesos. Yeah. My ambition is, my, my, my, my ambition is, um, to transcend from my, um, from being professor to being a prophet. Wow.

Hmm? I said, wow. Yeah. It's an ambitious goal. It is ambitious. Thank you. I didn't mean that as a compliment, but. Well, I'm taking us a compliment.

Thank you. What about Mitch McConnell? Is he the Messiah? You like to throw that word around. We did not give him a sugar cookie. Give him a sugar cookie and he'll be the Messiah. Are you the Messiah? Stop looking at me.

It's disgusting after you just off, man. Do you think next time China will learn from their mistakes and send a more believable spy? I think Mitch McConnell's wife has done a fantastic job so far of promoting Chinese interests. I'm nothing against her. So assuming that you're right and she's done a fantastic job and I agree with you

because we discussed that earlier. Let's make the assumption I'm not talking about Mitch McConnell's wife. Okay. Then the guy who built Tesla and SpaceX has also done a wonderful job.

Elon Musk? You're saying he's a Chinese spy. Yeah, I think he's a Chinese spy. Interesting. He has a factory. He has a Tesla factory in Shanghai. Wow. Yeah.

I thought he was, I thought he was South African. Yeah. But then every time I see him, I'm like, that guy is not black. What the hell is going on? And he is now promoting Chinese tourism. Is he really? Yes, he is.

He's saying like everyone should go visit China. I saw also not too long ago we went to Israel. Yeah. So I'm saying that he is, there is some suspicious stuff with him. I'll give you that. Yeah. And do you know who else is a Chinese spy? Jimmy Diamond is a Chinese spy.

Jimmy Diamond? Yes. I mean, that sounds like a Chinese person. I don't know who that is, So you're probably right. He's not Chinese. He's Greek, but yeah. Who's Jimmy Diamond?

He's the head of J.P. Morgan. Oh, okay. I mean, yeah, that's completely believable that some... In Toronto, every arrival is a statement, and nothing says it better than this. Cadillac Optic was the number one selling luxury EV in Canada for 2025. Find your rhythm across a seamless 33-inch display and an immersive 19 speaker AKG surround audio system. This city demands agility, and Optic delivers with precision to make every drive extraordinary. Let's take the Cadillac.

Find out more at Cadillac Canada.ca. Luxury sales claim based on S&P Global Mobility, Canadian New Vehicle Total Registrations for calendar year 2025 for the Cadillac definition of luxury. I'm not even kidding around here. I mean, yeah, he probably is maybe. Why do you say that? Is he like an important guy? I know J.P. Morgan is important, but he have a lot of influence over it? Or why do you say that?

Well, I mean, Wall Street has made a lot of money in China. and they are actively promoting Chinese interests in the United States. I see. And do you think it would be smarter for somebody to invest in American stocks or Chinese ones? I would rather invest in Argentina pesos, yeah. You'd rather invest in Argentine in pesos? Yes. Now, I like you, so I'm going to heavily warn you against that

because I don't want to see you turn into one of those homeless people you were insulting earlier. Homeless people have great sacks. Your wife, you said you're not. have three kids? Yeah. I mean, they're going to be pretty pissed off when they're like, yeah, my dad is an extremely famous guy.

I thought I was going to have millions of dollars and now all I have is millions of pesos. They don't know I'm famous. They don't know I'm famous. They don't know your, I mean, how old are they? They are eight, five, and three. Okay, that makes sense. Yeah. So now and then I'm walking my kids and random people come up to me on the streets and ask

to take a picture. they literally think that they're the famous ones. You know what would actually be a good idea? You could probably make them think you're so cool. If the next time somebody comes up to you and recognizes you, you explain to them that you're a killer, you're a secret killer, and that people are taking photos with you because of that. That's it.

Maybe I should ask, can I pee on you? No. Don't start acting like a killer. Don't do things that a killer could get away with, because after he pees on people, he can kill them, but just lie to your children and say you're a killer. And what good would that do? Egg.

Do you have no sugar cookies for Mitch McConnell? Ed, palo. How many Texas double whopper meals could you eat in five minutes? 120th of a meal. But what even is that, like two and a half french fries and a quick sip of the soda? Yeah, basically. Well, why?

Because eating slow is the best meat. can do to preserve your health. Eat slow. Yeah, but you're also wasting your life, eating extremely slowly. So you're gaining more time at the cost of more time that you're saving. You ever consider that? Yeah. Yeah. You know what the best thing to do is not eat this crap. Yeah. And go for doggies? No, drink water. A water diet. Yeah. I mean, that might work if you're like 300 pounds and you're trying to lose weight extremely quickly and you don't care about acting like a complete manic person everywhere you go but otherwise I don't think it'll work out well. No it's it's a best food in the world drinking water. That is sort of true. It's not a food but it's the best probably the healthiest thing.

Yeah. Yep. Which celebrities are most likely to be controlled? Which celebrities are most likely to be controlled? Yeah. It's better to ask which celebrities are not controlled. They're all controlled. Okay. So which ones are? are not controlled. You? I don't know if I categorize my, I'm definitely not a traditional celebrity.

I may be famous, but traditional celebrities. Okay. Because with YouTubers and people like that, it's easier to assume that they're probably not controlled, like traditional Hollywood stars. No, I would say most famous YouTubers are controlled. Asman Gold is definitely controlled.

What about Jack Septychai? I've never heard of this guy my life. PewDie Pie? No. You've heard of him. You haven't heard of PewDie Pie? Oh, the computer guy No, that's Marcus Brownlee

I have no idea Like, okay One of them is black One of them's, okay, what about I assume you're talking about Like who, Mr. Beast? Oh, Mr. Beast is definitely controlled By who?

By Satan By Satan? Yeah. Oh, why do you think he's called Mr. Beauds? Is that a metaphor Or he's literally speaking with the devil? Or you think he's just trying to appease the devil? No, I

I think he made a deal with the devil. I think he saw his soul And now he's YouTube famous Are you saying he literally made a deal with the devil Or there's somebody who is as bad as the devil Who's representing what you're calling the devil here I think That

Mr. Bees In his mind Yeah Has made a deal with the devil Yeah in his mind Okay so which celebrities Are controlled Like literally controlled

By a government you know, American government, Chinese government, Israeli government, Russian government, or controlled by some sort of group, whatever it is. Not like they're crazy and they're making deals with the devil in their head, but like actually controlled. I think Asman Gold is controlled. Okay, Asman, by who?

By... The Chinese spy wife? No, I think that the things he says are to promote certain political interests. I think he has an FBI handler. Okay, and who else do you think he's controlled? Traditional celebrities I'm interested in. Oh, traditional celebrities? Yeah, yeah.

Like, do you think the rock is controlled? Oh, yeah, absolutely. No, he's so cool. I know, I know. I think Oprah Winfrey is controlled. The rock. Yeah, the rock. I'm sorry.

The rock, Johnson. Yes. He's controlled by who? He's controlled by... Professor Jang is controlling him. Oh, no, I'm not controlling him. Yeah, you are. No, I know what you're doing.

Yeah, yeah. So, so it... If you were to Sudan with the Rock, do you think he would have any political opinions of his own? Probably not. He's a weird one because he seems like he might run for office at some point. Yeah, yeah, I agree. So he probably is especially not interested in talking about politics

until it's clear to him which side is going to be better for him to run on. So you know about the Osama bin Laden raid, right, where they killed him. Well, he received news of the raid about 24 hours before. No, that was John Sina. John Sina announced it at WWE. No, no, no, no, no. It's the Rock had friends in the Special Forces. Yeah.

And they told him 24 hours before it was made public that they got Osama bin Laden, right? Okay. So the Rock... So you're saying the Rock is secretly the President? No, I think... So like one of those movies? No. I think the Rock. Rock has a lot of friends within the U.S. deep state.

And these friends... So the rock is controlled by the American government? Yeah, good. I'm saying that's what you're saying. The Americans control of the rock. I would say special factions are factions within the U.S. deep state control the rock. Okay, that makes sense. And who else?

Any other ones that are interesting like that? Oprah Winfrey is definitely controlled. By the U.S. again? Yeah. So what are, who are, I'm curious on who you think are some Russian controlled celebrities, some Chinese controlled celebrities, and then some Israeli controlled celebrities. Well, there's no difference between the United States and Israel. Okay, so you're saying that like the Rock and Oprah Winfrey are also Israeli controlled celebrities. Yeah, that's right.

And what about Chinese controlled celebrities? Besides Mitch McConnell. Chinese control celebrities are like Alan Musk. Okay. Yeah. Any more? Jamie Diamond Oh, okay, yeah, you mentioned him

That's right What about Russian? Russia Hmm Yeah I don't know Which celebrities would be controlled by Russia Hmm

Yeah Do you think there are any? I mean, there must be some, right? I think there are celebrities who have contacts with Russia like Steven Segal. Okay. Yeah.

What about Nigerian controlled celebrities? Does that exist? Probably you. I'm a Nigerian controlled celebrity. Yeah. I deny those allegations. Okay. Profusely.

I'm actually offended by that. I can't even be an Israeli controlled celebrity. I can't even be at the high level. I'm a Nigerian controlled celebrity. Yeah. That's pretty fucking insulting. But you'll work your way up. You know, you're young.

Okay. That's a good point. You're young. YouTube channel. I still have some time. Yeah. Eventually you'll end up like the rock. Okay.

Yeah. Thank you. Yeah. There you go. Keep the faith. Keep the faith? Yeah, keep the faith. Yeah, work hard.

Work hard. Keep the faith. Before you explained it, I was like, holy shit. That actually is extremely insulting. Do you think Israel was involved in the murder of Lindsay Clancy's children? That's a really hard question. But, you know, they do these. experience all the time on people.

You know, where, have you ever watched the Born Legacy? Which one? The Born Legacy, the movie. About Jason Bard? Yeah. No, I haven't. So what they do is they like to experiment on people and give people different drugs to see how they can manipulate these people.

So in the movie, the Born Legacy, they have the psychiatrist who would drug people up and turn them into serial killers. So that might be possible. It is possible there are some secret societies that are experimenting on people like Lindsay Clancy. It's very demonic, right? It's almost like Roseberry.

Do you think that's more likely or do you think maybe she was just crazy? Which do you think is more than likely? I actually think that's much more likely they're experimenting on her than she was just crazy. And the dividing people, I've seen it's a big issue.

You have all these normal people or not all these women? Yeah, yeah, Karen's. I mean, I just classify them as women. Well, no, no, they're called Karen's. Yeah. Well, if they're all, I mean, I would, I don't know if there's been any polls done on this yet, but I would be curious what percentage of women actually support Lindsay Clancy. It seems like a pretty good chunk.

A lot. I wonder if it would be a majority. Yeah. So this is why everything went wrong in the 1970s. Woman's liberation is the worst thing that ever happened to humanity. Because not only do you have Lancy Clancy, but you also have these Karen to support her, and you also have, like, Lily Phillips. And Evan went wrong after...

You're really, really obsessed with Lily Phillips. Can you introduce us? No, I don't think she wants to talk to me ever again. Oh, okay. Yeah. I mean, even if she did, I probably wouldn't pursue talking to her. But that's like the fifth time you mentioned her. You mentioned her off camera and then like four times on camera so far.

I think she's, I think it's possible she is the Messiah. Would you rather have, would you rather have a sugar cookie as a Messiah or Lily Phillips as the Messiah? Uh, sugar cookie and it's not even close. You're asking me, would I rather have a delicious treat as the Messiah or a fucking, a demon? You never had a shton your life, have you?

No. Well, you ask that already. Okay, I'm just saying how. That's not something that she has the ability to create that nobody else does. I mean, any human can have s sips probably, right? I mean, unless there's some big disability there. Well, if you look at statistics today, most young people are actually not having sips. So you think people like Lily Phillips are good for the world?

I think so. Okay. I just call it a Messiah. I see. You really are probably a Chinese spy. Now I'm being convinced of it more than ever because you're really just trying to make people sick in the head, huh? Look, if guys were having s-h-h-hs every single day, we would stop fighting wars. Right.

We would stop being mean to each other. Right? It's an interesting point. Because the entire point of war is projection. What are these missiles? These missiles are these phallic symbols, right? Oh, this is like the lesson I did earlier about how the flower is peasantry. Exactly, exactly.

Right. Yeah. There you go. Exactly. I did a really, by the way, if you guys haven't seen his last. lectures. I did an excellent job recreating one of them, by the way. You were recreating my one of lectures? What? You didn't even notice?

No. What the hell did you think I was doing when I pulled out a whiteboard and then started going, okay, so okay, every time I read something. I thought you were trying to prove a sugar cookie is the messiah. Well, I was. Yeah. Because that's some crazy stuff you would say. I've never said sugar cookie is the messiah. Yeah, you said, Lily.

Phillips is the Messiah and then you said that Mr. Bees is speaking to the devil inside of his head. I mean, listen, that one might be true, but regardless, it sounds pretty fucking crazy. Okay. Right. Well, um, and what about your, your handwriting is not better than my handwriting. You have to, you have to change your handwriting and make it. Oh, and also like different, different colors. Okay.

That's key. Okay. Okay. Okay. Yeah. And what about long neck? He's my next guest in about five minutes. think he could be the Messiah as well.

Who? Long neck. Who the hell's long neck? He's this disabled-looking guy that's somehow able to walk without assistance. He has an extremely long neck. He went viral on Instagram probably a little over a decade ago for looking like a freak. Now he's primarily irrelevant, except when I insult him at the end of every one of my episodes. Then he's probably not the Messiah.

Why does that suggest he's not the Messiah? What about what I just said? being the Messiah, the Savior of the world, seems like a very complicated thing that's hard to know. So we will know the Messiah when the Messiah goes into darkness. Is the Messiah different from the Messiah? What is the Messiah? Okay.

All right. So different traditions have different Messiahs, right? But the Messiah... Is that just your accent? Yeah, it's probably my Canadian accent. But the Messiah, we will know the Messiah because... he or she will go into darkness and bring out the light. So definitely not Longneck then.

Probably Lily Phillips. I don't think so, but definitely not Longneck. She's went into the darkness to bring out the light. Think about the imagery. Longneck goes into the darkness and brings out the darkness. And he puts dark over the world. He's probably the devil. That's why he's not the Messiah.

Whereas Lily Phillips goes into darkness and brings out the light. No, she does the same thing. She goes into the darkness and brings out the darkness. No, no. She makes guys into her. The spark of life. But even if you're making the argument that people need to have intercourse more so they can have children because the population is fleeting, especially in developed countries,

she's not having children. I know Bonnie Blue had a child, but a child. No, no, no. She is helping me. Man. Yes! Okay. All right.

Well, that convinced me. Thank you so much. All right. Well, that's it also, because I have to film with Longnick. Okay. All right. We're done. Thanks so much for coming on.

Okay. Okay. All right. All right. Hey. Hello. Where some see heroes and others see egos. Bloomberg sees the era of billionaire athletes.

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