The Matan Show - Matan Confronts Whitney Cummings on Transgender Rumors

Episode Date: December 15, 2024

Hello everybody, welcome back to the podcast for today's guest. We have Ten Mile, welcome in. We also have Whitney Cummings, welcome in. Hi Dawn. Oh. What you mean? Welcome in. Wait, you want me here?

What you mean? Yeah, you sit right there. And then we have the co-host. I thought this was my episode. Huh? Welcome in the co-host. I thought this was my episode. Yeah, yeah, you and her.

You said this was a solo episode. I came all the way down here from fucking Vegas, man. Yeah, you and her. Listen, man, you owe me fucking money for this shit, man. I came all the way down here from Vegas, man. I'm not, I don't know what you... You want me to go get my fucking blaster? Alright. I got something for both of you. You too.

Wait, wait, I'm sorry. You too, hoe. I'm gonna go get my fucking blaster. I got something for all you foes, man. For all us what? I would like to I'm gonna go get my fucking blaster. I got some volume foes man for all us what I Would like to apologize that man seems unhinged and I Do not want to be responsible for the are you a member of the Nation of Islam? I'm not I don't think

Now you can sit in the middle if you want, now that he's out of here. I just had to lock the door in case he gets his blaster. Go ahead, finish the question, please. You mean the answer? Yeah, yeah, about the Nation of Islam. I'm not... Do you Google your guests at all before or no? A little bit. I do some research. Okay, yeah, I think that would have been in there. Oh, it mention it that's why i'm asking i'm not do you know that person no i don't he was uh supposedly he's coming back he was uh the second guest for the episode

so i'm not sure where you're from i think whatever this who's that he's the co-host for today. Copy that. His name is Mike. Hi, Mike. Maybe this is why your numbers are higher than mine. You just... Go ahead. No, no. I just... I'm learning a lot about what's hip.

Okay. So you want me to continue? It's your show, man. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to slow you down. I just... That guy seems like deeply unhinged. Who, the guy who just left? Yeah. No, he was supposed to be the second guest for the episode, but hopefully he'll come back. I'll shoot with him once you leave. I tried setting it up with you beforehand, but I didn't know he was going to just get really angry like that.

Did that shake you up at all? No, no. We've tried shooting with him a couple of times We usually schedule with him and Long Neck at the end of the episode But they usually don't get here He got here now But we'll fly him out from Vegas next time Okay, it's just my boyfriend is outside He's not going to be wild, right?

He's probably just sitting with him They're probably using that TV that we have outside To watch the episode They'll probably watch the rest of it together now. Okay. Maybe they'll become friends? It's possible. Do you think they will or no?

I don't know. He seemed a little young and meth-y. He had big, like, Adderall energy. No, no. He wasn't on any drugs like that. He was about 14 years old, I think. He's the youngest rapper from Vegas. He's 14?

Yeah. Huh. Can you imagine? Like, what does a 14-year-old have to say? Raps, like, you talk about adversity, relationships. Like, what does he rap about? Well, most people think he's in his 20s. That's why.

So he can just use that as the way to get through the interviews. Sure. Why did you decide to get so much plastic surgery? You know, thank you for asking that. I always find it a big compliment when people think I got a lot of plastic surgery. Oh, so you're saying you didn't? Well, I used to get Botox and I stopped getting Botox. Do you see my wrinkles? A little bit, yeah. Yeah. So I don't get Botox anymore because I thought it made me look crazy, but I had a television executive tell me that I looked tired and haggard when I was 26,

and I went and got Botox. I didn't get filler, though, because... Oh, so you got plastic surgery. Well, plastic surgery is different. I got plastic surgery on my boobs. But you didn't get, like, the jawline stuff or nothing like that? Were you born with the plastic in your face? I wasn't born with plastic in my face, but we are all now.

Apparently we have microplastics in our blood. So I probably was born with microplastics. No, that's just because you eat stuff from plastic, like the little cardboard stuff. But I don't think it would like help your jawline, you know what I mean? Or make your cheeks like that. Yeah, no no these are my cheeks do you want to feel them not particularly and no offense are you transgender um i'm not transgender but i oh you look a little bit like it yeah yeah yeah how could i by the way no i think

you mean offense by it but no not at all i was trying to be completely nice about it but would you think that do i seem transgender to you because i of my looks or my voice or my personality or my dick or what? Mostly the first one, I think. My looks? Okay. Yeah, you look in the face a little bit like a man. Oh, really? Yeah. Thank you.

People normally say, this is like being on Reddit in person. Oh, it's like meeting one one of those guys it's just like being in a reddit chat room i'm not on reddit no you are reddit no no i've never used the app before no i know but i make i'm just making a point that that everything you say is like getting confronted by it yeah it's like this is what reddit says about me and do you do you read comments like that you you're uh sometimes And do they hurt your feelings or no? They only hurt my feelings when they're true, I would say, when it strikes a chord. Do you read your Reddits?

Not often. I don't think there's too many about me. There's a couple. I haven't. Sometimes I'll check it, but it's usually people talking about what I used to do back in the day. It's less about my show. Back in the day, aren't you 17? Yeah, like when I was like 12 or 13, I used to,

I had a YouTube channel where I would talk about like the next up and coming stocks, but they were all. Stock, okay. But how do you know all that stuff? Oh, I didn't. It was a sponsor, but I wouldn't tell anybody. So the sponsor was whoever was doing the stocks and then they would just give me a couple

and then I would sell it when the episode released. Oh, wow. And then, is that a crime? I was really young back in the day, so it's okay. Maybe on Dem it's a crime. You're still kind of young. Yeah, so I can get away with it. Yeah.

Well, it would be hard for them to press charges, you know what I mean? Yeah. Okay, let's move on. If you were responsible for the cost of your specials in relation to how much money they generated, how much would you be in debt? If I was responsible to the, okay. I think all my specials, I don't know the answer. You think you would be, how much in the hole would you be?

I don't think that's really how specials work unless you put them on youtube and i don't really you're the youtube have you not made any money from your specials i don't understand no i they pay you up front in a special so they'll give you say a million bucks and then they'll give you the budget they'll say here's 500 grand to shoot it yeah but they're the ones who are the money comes from like netflix and those guys they're the ones paying for the budget. So the question is like relative. If you were the one paying for the budget and you were making all of the profits,

it wasn't an upfront cost, how much money would you have lost? I unfortunately haven't lost money on specials. You've made money. Well, but that's because you're getting paid. How much money have the companies lost? I don't know. You'd have to ask them.

They haven't mentioned it to you? But they keep giving me specials, so I think they're probably making money. Oh, they keep giving it to you? Are you sure it's not just a good look for them? To check a box, to have a trans comic? Yeah, a transgender woman. Yeah. Just something like that?

I think they're probably just checking a box with me. So you don't do... Oh, I have another good question. Do you think you're one of the 250 comedians in the world? Of whose? There's only 250 of them. Would you consider yourself in that category? I think so.

And that's being generous. Generous with how many comedians are? Would you consider yourself in that category? Oh, I hope not. Why not? I hope that I'm on a different list or something. What kind of list? Just a different...

I wouldn't consider myself a comedian, but if somebody did, hopefully I wouldn't be in the 250. Right. The 250 is for only the big dogs.

Sorry, I got lost in your earring. I like your earrings. Oh, no, they're fake. It's okay. But really, where do you think you would rank?

Oh, like in the hierarchy of them. Oh, I don't know. I think I would definitely probably be in the 250 of comedians that are working and touring. No, it's not about comedians who are working and touring. There's only like 250 comedians who are, again, being generous. Real comedians. Like the comedian style. Okay.

Like Dave Chappelle and Joe Rogan. Sure, yeah. And would you consider yourself in that list? I'm not at the level of Dave Chappelle and Joe Rogan, but I think I'd be in the top 250. Do you think Joe Rogan would consider you one of the 250? I do. Oh, that's, that's, are you happy about that or no? Do you take that like, like as a good thing or no?

Uh, yeah. Okay, let me ask. This is in relation to the last one you were listed as one of the 10 worst comedians in 2024 by matanevin.com why do you think they went so harsh on you um i think they might secretly have like a crush on me or something i really don't think so who do you think um who do you think number one was? Of the worst comedians? Yeah, of 2024. But you weren't number one. I think you were number seven.

Okay. So there were six worst comedians than me? Of 2024, I think. Can I ask about other ones that were in there? Yeah, I'm trying to remember who were in it. And who decided this? Oh, it was a panel. Okay.

A couple of people decided it. Just some people. I'm trying to think. I think... Is that, is your last name Evans? No, Evan. Just Evan. Okay.

But that's your website? No, it's not. It's a fan run. It's run by fans. Oh, got it, got it. Fans of the podcast. Okay, sure, sure, sure. But your fans.

So they're not necessarily comedy fans. Well, I'm a fan of my podcast. But they're not comedy fans, if it's your podcast. Well, I guess they're business fans, I would say. Oh. But this podcast was only organized by one particular fan of my podcast. Mm-hmm. Somebody on the inside.

The list? Okay, got it. If you had to make that 10 worst list, how would you put it? Make a top 10 worst list, and you have to include yourself in there somewhere. I can't do this. I mean, I can't. Do you feel bad because you're friends with them? Yeah.

And I also don't. Comedy is not for me. I don't go see comedy. I don't go pay to see comedy. So I feel like a comedian isn't really. Yeah, but you do more stuff with comedy than most people. You know what I mean? You see it from the inside.

But I guess since I'm the seventh worst, I probably wouldn't know anything. How about this? You get to rank yourself. You could do number one, number ten. However, you just have to include nine other people. I think I'm definitely the number one funniest trans comedian. No, worst comedian, I'm saying.

You have to include yourself somewhere in the top ten worst. But it doesn't have to be exactly with my list. You could put yourself as number nine, number two, whatever you want. But you have to give me nine other comedians you think are really bad. I would probably agree with your insider business guy. Oh, so you agree with his list? I would defer to that, yeah.

Unfortunately, you're friends with most of them. So do you feel bad now? I feel awful, yeah. Okay, and if you had to guess which ones, maybe give me three or four of them. Again, as the seventh worst comedian, I think my opinion would be off. You would only know comedians that you're better than,

you're saying. I don't know good comedy because I'm one of the worst comics. You must be familiar with bad comedy then. Yeah, I make it. So who are the other nine members? They're right on that level good point i don't know i don't i i couldn't tell you we can move on if you don't want to answer there were like five different names i was looking for uh can you show them to me but we won't i

don't have them i don't have them listed yeah i couldn't name them i know who you want me to say and i just there's like 10 different people i would take as a good answer. No, I know. There's no specific one. You and I are both looking at each other. I know who you want me to say. I know who number one on the list is. I'm staying out of it. We'll cut it out. Because I have to see these people every night. How about this? I'll make you a deal.

If you say it, we'll think about cutting it out. We'll flip a coin. No, I'm not. No. No. I saw your big Jay Oakerson saga with cutting his address. Oh, yeah. Well, we cut it out, didn't we? We accidentally left in his driver license ID, though. Oh, that's funny.

Keep going. I just need to get my drink, my water. Okay. Keep live listening. No, I'll just wait for a moment. No, just keep going. I got it. Ah,, I'll just wait for a moment. Keep going. I got it. What the fuck? Your fridge is wild.

Okay. You have a lot of white cloth. You can't even drink yet, right? No, I'm just renting the studio from Long Neck. Okay. Oh, there's a... Why didn't you tell me there was a bottle right there? You got this one for me or for you? No, for me. I can't for me this stuff i forgot that i brought this out okay you can't drink this is not a sponsor promo code oh you're a fire energy drink

i love it oh that's for sure getting cut out shit literally you just cut it out in real time okay well we'll move on to the next uh next question okay sorry i wish i could do that for you but okay would you name the 10 worst podcasters um i don't i don't think i i could name 10 podcasts really i don't think i could think of them but you do a lot of podcasts you've been on tiger bell are you going on tiger belly i'm doing that one i got friends you're on jason ellis jason ellis dot um Bad Friends was pretty good. I don't know. I don't think I've went on 10 different podcasts.

I think I'm at like seven or eight. But you don't watch podcasts as a podcaster? Not particularly. Okay. I think my favorite one was Jesse Lee Peterson. Okay. He's extremely funny. Do you know him?

I don't. Oh, you should go on his podcast. I can message him. Do you want to go on it? Let me see who he is first. He's an older black man. Okay. Jesse Lee Peterson?

Oh, yeah. Not the other, what's the other guy, Peterson? Thank you. I forget his name. Jordan? Not Jordan Lee Peterson. That's another guy. Jordan Peterson.

Yeah, he's white. The other guy is black. I could set up Jesse interview, potentially. Sure. I'll look at it first and make sure that it's as warm and non-confrontational as this one and then I'll say yes. He might be the only guy who talks to me at that. Okay. You want me to... Can I ask

have you ever like truly gotten uncomfortable or like felt bad? I'm uncomfortable right now because now I'm just feel bad for those comedians that we were talking about. Okay. We didn't say their names. Oh, they know who they are though. Hey guys.

Sorry for the interruption. I have to let you know. That today's episode. Is sponsored by HelloFresh. HelloFresh is a meal kit company. That will send you pre-portioned ingredients. That are also farmed fresh. And some recipes with that that means that you can save some time instead of going to the grocery store and buying all of the

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So it'll be just the way you like it If you want to get some hellofresh for yourself, you can go to hellofresh.com slash freematon That's H E L L O F R E S H If you want to get some HelloFresh for yourself, you can go to HelloFresh.com slash Frematon. That's H-E-L-L-O-F-R-E-S-H dot C-O-M slash F-R-E-E-M-A-T-A-N. And across seven boxes, you'll get ten free meals. That's HelloFresh.com slash Frematon. Do you think immigrants should pay reparations to Americans? No. Why not?

Doesn't really seem like their responsibility if they weren't the ones here doing the damage. Yeah, but aren't they the ones causing the damage? Oh, you mean like now? Yeah, like those immigrants. You know, once they... We can't really charge reparations to the ones who are coming in illegally because they're not even paying taxes. Right. But once they get citizenship, maybe we can assume that they were here illegally for some time

and we can have them pay reparations for that time. Well, if they become citizens, they're going to have to pay taxes. Yeah, but they weren't paying taxes at the time they were here illegally. You know what I mean? That's true. So paying reparations? I think that we've made our own mess without immigrants, too. But they've contributed at least

a little. Of course. You want to hear something interesting? That Jesse Lee Peterson guy I was talking about, he says that I'm trying to remember. He says that the government should pay reparations to the Southerners for the slave trade. The government should pay reparations?

You mean to black people? yeah, to black people. No, to the white people because they were the ones who lost property. That's what he says. I'm going to skip that podcast. Are you sure? That's wild. So, okay, got it.

That's a wild take. That's what he says. Well, shouldn't he have the say? I mean, he is a black man. He grew up, he says, I believe, on a wild take. That's what he says. Well, shouldn't he have the say? I mean, he is a black man. He grew up, he says, I believe, on a cotton farm. Yeah, but all black people have different opinions and they're not all the same. But most of them aren't as old as him.

He has more of an experienced view on it. Interesting. Or he could be like getting older and crazier. Oh, no, he's been like this forever. Oh, yeah? Yeah, you can find videos of him like this from a long time ago. What's up with the just random, like, incel haunting your set?

Incel who? I mean... The co-host? Yeah. He's not an incel. No? What is incel? That's like the people who...

Involuntary celibate? Like they can't get in relationships? I don't think so. I don't know too much about his personal life. He's not really a big talker. Oh, yeah. I see that. Okay, well...

Mike is his name? Yeah, his name is Mike. Does anyone know? Like, where's Mike from? Somewhere in the Middle East. Mike, do you have any favorite comedians or least favorite comedians oh me I'm your least favorite

I doubt he was saying you were his favorite so probably that was the assumption that's fair who is your favorite comedian Chappelle I don't know maybe an insult comic I can't think of any other names. Jeff Ross, maybe.

Is he the bald guy? He's, yes. I don't know much about him, to be honest. My favorite, who's my favorite? He does all the roasts and stuff. Oh yeah, you did a lot of those roasts too. You were on like the roastings, that's how you became famous? Yes, sir.

So here's a little game for you. Can you try doing, like coming up with some quick roast for your newborn baby? I don't know if I could roast my baby. There's like, there's not, when you're roasting someone, there has to be like something they've done

that's, you know, worth going after. And he hasn't done much negative yet. I could come up with stuff for him and I don't even know how he looks. I know. Is it a boy or a girl? It's a, he's a boy. And I don't have a ton, like, you know,

to make fun of him about. There's not a ton. Come up with something. Like if I had to think it's, I don't know. I'll try thinking of something at the same time. Yeah, okay. For example, like if I had a weapon, he wouldn't be able to defend himself.

Really? Yeah. I don't know, dude. You don't have any jokes for him? No. I just mean, like, I wouldn't put it past him. He tore through my vagina pretty hard. He's strong.

But that's not a roast. You're giving him credit. Say something nasty about him. He abused his own mom? I think there's something to be said about that. That's not funny. Okay. Because you're, like, being nice about it.

Say something really nasty. I know, because he's not funny. Okay. Because you're like, you're being nice about it. Say something really nasty. I know because he's a baby. But if he sees it when he's older, he should be devastated when he sees this. I don't want to devastate him. I'd rather him not turn out like us. Do you think he's a high quality or low quality human? Also, could you iron this or is this the vibe? We just did it yesterday.

You ironed this. No, he tried to get the fly. He wasn't trying to scare you. Okay. There was a fly right there. I just want you guys to know, not only are we adults with careers coming to do this, because when you start doing podcasts, it just becomes jury duty. I'm only doing this because Santino's did it.

Santino only did it because we're all just doing your podcast to come get disrespected. So people don't even know why they're doing it? No, none of us. I blame it all on Bobby Lee. He set this up. But none of us want to seem like we didn't get asked. What do you mean? I don't understand. So we come on your show because we don't want it to seem

like we didn't get asked by a 17-year-old to like... Oh, okay, so you want it to seem like you were in the group. In a laundry room, yeah. Oh, well, that's not true because I've sent an email to everybody. You've sent an email? I've sent an email, an Instagram message. I would say if I had to give an accurate number, like 50,000 people. That's real, by the way.

If you thought of anybody in the world, I would have messaged them. Who's your dream guest to have on? If I give you the real answer, I'm going to have to cut it out. Then do that. By the time you said that'm going to have to cut it out. Then do that. By the time you said that, you could have just done it. Definitely. He's the number one. Do you think he'd do it?

I bet he would do it. I don't think he'll do it. Do you want me to ask? But if you ask, don't tell him that you did it. Just tell him that you saw the podcast and he'll... Tell him if he does it, he'll get a new car. He has a lot of cars. That's why.

That was, that was the... So you'll get him like a Fuchsia Ferrari. Oh, I'll get him one of those mini ones on the table. You're kind of obsessed with him, huh? No, you just mentioned not to talk about him. But you would want to have him on. Yeah, he's up there. You roast him on a lot of episodes.

I don't talk about ****. So by the time he comes on, like, what would you even say? I'll just hold this episode until he comes on. Okay. Well, I'm not going to ask him now. You told me not to ask. No, I said ask him, but don't tell him that you came on the episode. Just say that you saw it and that it would be a great look for him.

But I don't lie. Oh, but don't lie. Okay, fine. Then just don't even, don't mention that you came on the podcast. Just tell him. But he'll say, have you done it? I'm not sure. Tell him you're not sure. Have you DM'd him and asked?

Oh, I probably sent him at least seven emails. Like if I go to my email list. Do you think he's seen them? How do you have his email address? I go on IMDB and I send it to his agents. Yeah, then he hasn't seen it.

I've also sent him one personally probably a couple times. I don't know. I do whatever email is public. Yeah, then he hasn't seen it.

I'm not sure. I don't know. I'm sure he'd do it. I mean, he was a fighter. I'm sure he'd be... I've had fighters on here before.

Yeah, I'm just saying he'd be bad. But I've had good fighters on the show before. Okay. Like, real fighters. Anyways, let's move on. I love that you did that to really, like, nail it home saying he'd be bad. But I've had good fighters on the show before. Okay. Like, real fighters. Anyways, let's move on. I love that you did that to really, like, nail it home.

Like, good fighters. It was an interesting one. It was a wild, wild gesticulation. What do you mean? Like, you're just... Explain what you mean. I think it's cute. It was just like a cute little...

Oh, you're saying this thing? Yeah, when you did that. Oh, I thought you were... Oh, I thought... Just your little gesture you did. No, we're referencing two... He's darling. We're referencing two different things that I thought we were talking about. Okay Just your little gesture you did. No, we're referencing two... He's darling. We're referencing two different things

that I thought we were talking about. Okay. If every person in the world became invincible, how do you think that would affect insurance companies? Wow. I... If everyone became invincible, how would that...

Yeah, we wouldn't need insurance, would we? Yeah, so what do you think would happen? Would insurance companies just close, kind of? Well, there's conspiracies that, like, they'reacies that they're stopping cures for diseases and stuff. So what do you think they would do? Yeah, most people don't have health insurance anyway. Wow. You would keep...

What I think, car insurance companies and property insurance would have to go up because if people were invincible, they would start crashing more. They would start doing more reckless things, right? But health insurance companies would probably... But why would they need car insurance? Because if you know you're invincible, you're probably going to drive insane and then crash your car.

Wouldn't it be just smarter at that point to just go on a bike or something? I don't think most people are smart, though. This is in relation to an earlier question. Who do you think is the better roast comedian, you or the David Lucas? David Lucas is very funny. He's a genius. He's excellent at roasting.

Oh, you guys had a bad episode, I heard. Oh, no, I'm friends with him. Oh, really? Yeah. Would he say the same thing? I'm not sure. No. I think so.

Me and him are good buddies. I don't think that's true. What happened on the David Lucas episode? He was here. That was his first episode as a co-host. I haven't seen it. Oh, so you brought him on and he was in blackface with a t-shirt? That's not blackface.

Okay. He's doing like Muslim face. Okay, like ninja vibes? No, he's trying to look like a terrorist. Oh, okay. You didn't get it? I mean, I... No, and I'm kind of proud I didn't. Why would you be proud of such a thing?

I'm kind of psyched that I missed that. If something were to happen to you, would you leave your money to your son or give it to a random winner? I'd give it to my son, but it would be in increments at certain ages, so he wasn't just getting a lump a lump sum of money. Why wouldn't you give it to a random winner? What's a random? A wiener or a winner? Winner. Somebody, a lucky guy. Just some guy?

Anybody. I don't know how you would do the raffle. Yeah, no. I've thought about dividing up my money if I die and giving it to like exes just to be like sorry. As an insult or because? No, just as like a sorry and like i just think it'd be funny you know do you think they would be insulted by that or no no i don't know

but i also there's like this guy trader joe's that i always see that i really like i want to like like people that i just think are cool and deserve more i want to just like give the guy trader joe's like an old guy or something i don't he's like an older man with braces that works at trader joe's and i just like him he's got a couple cats and i just how do you how do you know about like his home life i ask him questions yeah do you think he's creeped out by that at all or no there's times where i feel like he'd rather me stop talking to him but but you keep trying but he's we're at work that's what i tell myself like he's at work he's busy because he doesn't want his boss to think he's like's at work, he's busy. Because he doesn't want his boss to think he's, like, trying to talk to me, you know? Why?

He doesn't want his boss to think he's, like, creeping on people? I don't understand. Or, no, just, like, fanning out on someone. Because if he keeps talking to you, his boss might think he's gay. Yeah, that's a good point. Do you think age matters or is it just a number? It matters when you're your age. But later it starts maybe being So you think it matters,

you think age of consent matters? I do, yeah. So you don't think, I don't know, how do I put it, like a nine-year-old should be able to consent? To what? Anything, drinking alcohol, anything? Yeah, I don't think nine-year-olds should have to even be in that situation at all. Wouldn't you say that's a little ageist? Yeah, probably is. I'm very ageist when it comes to young people, not so much old people. How old are you? 42. Okay, I was just seeing if you'd answer that because some women don't answer. They take it offensive. Oh yeah, no. I mean, it's offensive that I have to be 42, but I'm not offended when people ask me about it.

You're saying you're sad about it? I don't get it. No, no, no, no. I'm sorry. What's that? Sorry about that. Never mind. Why do you think there isn't enough Jew on Jew violence? And how do you think we can increase it?

I think there... I don't know the statistics around Jew on Jew violence It's pretty low compared to other types of affairs. Yeah that's a good point I'm sure it is. I think there's so few Jews as it is because they've been so persecuted Yeah but this is obviously taking in mind

that statistic. You know it's not saying that there's more white on white violence than black on black. You know what I mean? There's enough people that try to kill Jews without them killing each other that my guess is they try to keep each other alive. Are you Jewish? I'm half Jewish.

Your mother or your father was Jewish? Mother's side. Oh, sorry about that. No, it's okay. So you are actually Jewish? Half. I just learned this. My mom died like a year ago

and I found it out. No, but that's what they say. They say if the mother is Jewish, then you're Jewish. Oh, huh. The mother has to be Jewish for them to consider you a Jew. Oh, interesting. Yeah, I'm still like navigating what to do with that information.

I don't, you know. I wouldn't tell it to anybody. Fair. Okay, one second. Oh, fuck. Okay. This fucking guy. Can you talk or no?

I think terrorists can still talk. If you want to just make this less awkward. You don't want to make this less awkward. Hey, guys. Sorry for the interruption. I have to let you know that today's episode is sponsored by Sheath. Sheath is an underwear company that's super comfortable and they'll send you, if you buy multiple underwears, multiple in case you break one of the underwears or something happens and you shit it. Sheath also wanted me to let you know that they are well recommended by urologists. However, I have a theory that those urologists weren't able to pass the MCAT,

meaning that they went to college to become urologists, but they didn't get a bachelor's or pass the medical exam, so they have no idea what they're talking about. Even my friend Mike, who's a complete dumbass, has tried and worn the underwear and they would probably try hiring him to become a urologist and for all you know they would tell you that he passed the MCAT. However, I will say that the underwear is extremely comfortable and includes a dual pouch helping keep everything separated and keeping it extremely comfortable with the dual pouch. In all seriousness, I do want to thank Sheath for paying me my money

and if you want to get some Sheath underwear for yourself, you can use the link in the description or go to Sheath.com slash Matan for 20% off your order. That's S-H-E-A-T-H dot com slash Matan, M-A-T-A-N, to get 20% off your order. Your homie's, like, bleeding over here, dude. The one that's actually ironed is off camera, which is a little... Like, that one should go here. Do you know what I mean?

That one's ironed. Like, that one should maybe go here. No, it's okay. No, I know. It's okay. I'm just saying. Maybe you should try a set of blankets for your podcast. Yeah, maybe.

Might help out. No. I have another question about your podcast, actually. Okay. Why do you use your podcast to help platform alt-right extremists, I read? I have not done that. No? I don't think so.

That's what I read. Tim Dillon. Tim Dillon, that Matt Rife guy. Matt Rife, alt-right extremist? Is he not one of them? That's just what I read. I don't know too much about him. On alexjones.net, where do you get your news?

I've went on Infowars before. The only thing, I don't know. I don't know much about Matt Rife, but he was on that list from earlier. Would you have him on your show? I would have him on my show. I don't think he'll do it. I think the reason that he wouldn't do it

is very separate from other people. Why? I think he's just a little too famous right now. He's very yeah he's very nice i think you'd like him i think he would be an awesome guest you can recycle the botox jokes for me that's true he does look he doesn't but he has it also no or does he deny it he does i don't think he does what I don't think he does. But you know, like, you see wrinkles, right? Right there? A little bit, but not that much. Thank you.

But I think you know why I'm saying that. It's not like a compliment. I take it as a compliment. Oh, I understand. You're saying that when people tell you you have Botox and you don't, it's like a compliment? Yeah, because all I see is wrinkles around here, see? I think you're just in denial, but we'll move on. But how would you know, like, why would I lie?

Remember, you're the one that told me to lie earlier, and I said I wouldn't lie. Well, because I'm experienced. Oh, so you're projecting because if you got Botox, you would lie about it. No, I don't think so, but I guess you could say I'm experienced. Oh, so you're projecting because if you got Botox, you would lie about it. No, I don't think so. But I guess you could say I'm projecting because I know how it is to be a liar. Okay.

But I don't think so. I think when you lie about it, people know and then it just looks fun and then you just sound funny. Well, I'm a comedian, so if I'm being funny, fine. Laughing at you. I'll take that too. That's what comedy is. Okay, let me look for the next question. I got a comedian, so if I'm being funny, fine. Laughing at you. I'll take that, too. That's what comedy is. Okay, let me look for the next question. I got a good one.

Yes, sir. Would you rather have unlimited arms but no legs or legs but no bacon? I'd rather have the second one. Wait, no, no, no. I'd have to give up bacon, but I'd have all my limbs. I don't remember the question. You want me to give up bacon, but I'd have all my limbs. I don't remember the question. You want me to try finding it again? I think this is number two.

Okay, the first one, you have unlimited arms but no legs. And the second one, you have no legs. Or you have legs. But the first one, you don't have legs. Okay. I definitely want legs, whatever the other one is. Do you eat bacon? Yes. Oh, you know, since definitely want legs, whatever the other one is. Do you eat bacon? Yes.

Oh, you know, since you're Jewish, the Jewish people would say that you might come back as an apple. I don't think I'm Jewish. Like, I don't know much about the Jewish culture. I just found out that I have. I know, I'm just saying I talked to a rabbi once and that's what he explained to me. That you come back as an apple, why? Because pigs eat apples? No, just as a punishment to be thoughtful about what you've done. So being an apple is why? Because pigs eat apples? No, just as a punishment to be thoughtful about what you've done. So being an apple is a

punishment? I mean, if you're going to falsely kid apple, maybe. There's different reasons for why you could turn into an apple. Okay, I just don't see why being an apple is so bad. I'm just explaining what's going to happen according to them if you keep eating bacon.

Okay, I think I can live with that. How much would somebody have to pay you to launch a super missile and destroy Earth? Like, $80? $80, what would you do with it? Buy some bacon. Okay, this is in relation to your answer. Do you think the funniest female comedian is funnier than a crow who knows several phrases um that i think i'd have to see the crow do the phrases

well he knows stuff like he's uh is he doing jokes or is he just like can i have a cracker you know no maybe he doesn't mean that as like a white guy like slur no he just like, can I have a cracker? You know? And he doesn't mean that as like a white guy, like slur. No, he's like, hello. Stuff like that. Made me laugh. But that's what they would say. Yeah, yeah. If they were...

That's not a phrase, that's a word. He could know a phrase like... I don't know actually what the phrase would be. Maybe he knows a song or something. Would that be funnier? Depends on the song. Why do you think that female comedians have such a bad reputation um oh i think uh i think most comedians get a lot of feedback we sign up to be criticized you know so i think that a lot of comedians boy and girl

have that um but yeah but more so for women yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that people, stereotype comedians, female comedians, is talking about sex a lot and being, like, dirty, you know? And do you think that's, like, sort of your joke style? I mean, usually the people that accuse us of talking about sex too much are trying to have sex with us. But is it your joke style or no? I'm not accusing you of anything. I'm asking.

Yeah, yeah. Our joke style? No, I think it's just... Your joke style, personally. Oh, mine personally. I don't know. I think I'm a pretty good joke writer. I didn't ask that.

I asked if your jokes are like about sex only mostly. Or mostly. They're not mostly about sex and relationships. They're definitely about... About relationships a lot? I've done six specials. Five of them have been about relationship stuff. I think it's also just like, you know, biologically,

like watching a woman talk if you're not able to sleep with her after is probably not that interesting to guys. So you're saying that the reason people don't find female comedians funny is because you're saying they're incels? Well, I think a lot of people do find them funny, and I think a lot of people don't. Yeah, okay, well, let me put it like this. I think that the male and female comedians both get hate,

but that's mostly from people who watch comedy podcasts on YouTube. But the general people probably have stereotypes against female comedians. Yeah, what are they? That they're not funny. Okay. If you ask somebody like, to think of a female comedian, who do you think they would say? Uh, they'd probably say

Joan Rivers. No? No? Well, she's like a like a old, you probably don't remember. I've heard of her. Yeah. I think I sent her an email. Did you? Yeah. Did she respond? I'm not sure. She's still alive? Okay. Is she? Yeah, she's not still alive. No. Oh, so I don't think she would have responded.

I've sent a couple to dead people before. Yeah, Sarah Silverman, maybe? I was thinking more ****. Okay. Are you friends with her? I don't know her that well, no. Okay. Because that's probably would be the first guess somebody would have, you know what I mean? Sure.

Do you think she's funny? She is very funny. Okay. Did you wink? i mean sure do you think she's funny uh she is very funny okay did you wink no i think you i don't think the camera could pick up but she's gonna make you cut this out oh no we can't include this i just am not gonna get into like beef with comics you know okay fair okay sorry for the cut she was just saying she didn't think it was funny didn't say that you say that you winked you went like this i i think but you looked so the camera couldn't pick up on it you went i think it's funny i didn't do that now don't cut it out just to show that he's lying again no but you're

doing it so only i could be the one who picks up on it the cameras can't see you doing it right right there is something interesting though like was was really successful, and she's still really successful, but she gets a lot of online hate. Do you think that is because of her comedy or because she just got so famous as a female comic? It makes me not want to get that much more successful than I am. Honestly, I don't really know. I've never watched her specials or anything.

Okay. I've never watched a comedy special, I don't think. You don't think she's funny? I've only seen very small snippets, but no. So you won't see larger snippets because you didn't like the small ones? No, I don't really like watching comedians, but if I was to, I think that would...

So you don't like any comedians? No, I'm just business style. Business style? Yeah, like, I forget the podcast names, but people talking about stocks and stuff like that. That's what I watch. So you don't watch anything, like, for entertainment? I will if I...

You just watch people, like, get shot in the desert? Those videos are pretty cool on Twitter. Are you kicking the table? No, I just was... Sorry. I was just fidgeting. Are your parents together? No.

My mother's in jail. For what? I don't know. I didn't think of the next step to that. Okay. It's usually just that line and then... Line or lying? No, lying. Well, I could go for both, but usually it's just that and then the

same question is asked why and I know you've been famous for like a while huh or like had a big following for a while is it you're like a child star basically um that never goes great for people are you worried no no because I'm not like an actor or nothing I've been making videos I think since I was 12 but But the beginning was in podcast. It was like... Do you love, like, Logan Paul? I would love to have him on the podcast. Yeah?

But do you love him? I like his business. Okay. I think he's a smart guy. Yeah. But he shouldn't have apologized. That's what I say. Oh, he shouldn't have apologized for what? The rat or the suicide forest? No, no. Crypto zoo.

You don't know about that? Oh, crypto zoo. No. You're not familiar? He got a lot of hate. He did a big crypto scam. Oh. But then he apologized about it.

Oh. Do you think he knew what he was doing? Oh, yeah. So you think he's really smart and you like his business? Well, I liked it, but then he apologized. And then it came out that he didn't even sell his tokens. So he ended up just getting shit and losing money. Do you have a lot of crypto?

Oh, I've never made a crypto. Oh, interesting. Do you like other YouTubers? Are there any other people you look up to, like Lilly Singh? Who's that? Is that the Indian one? Mm-hmm. Okay.

She was the one with the talk show? Yes. Oh, she's really funny, people said. Mm-hmm. They said that Lilly Singh, Whitney Cummings, and *** are the three funniest female comedians. They made a top three. Are you happy to be on that list with those fellas? Thrilled.

So I was the top three there on what list? But I was the seventh worst on yours? Oh, that wasn't mine, by the way, from earlier. Oh, sorry, the insider. But who,

what was the list of me and and Lily? Who made that list? What gay man thinks we're the funniest comics? Well, I think it was a joke. Oh, I got comics well I think it was a joke I think it was kidding do you think it's wrong to be prejudiced against infants

I think there's a way to be prejudiced like going like yeah no he shouldn't go in the pool cause he can't swim that's like a form of prejudice in a way but not to be prejudiced like based on yeah but like okay prejudice I mean like a white guy not liking a black guy for being black.

You don't like him. Yeah, that's not okay. Other people's kids are adorable. All of other people's kids. I'm like, that's your kid. I don't need to touch it or any of that. So you don't like other people's kids? I don't not like them.

You don't want to interact with them? I'm fine to interact with them, but I don't like other people's kids? I don't not like them. I just don't. You don't want to interact with them? I'm fine to interact with them, but I don't have a biological or any kind of attraction to other people's kids. And when people do, it's a crime. I would hope that you weren't attracted to kids. It's a crime. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When people do. Is that something you struggled with before?

No. That's not something I've struggled with. Because I've heard some people have struggled with that and then they'll go to therapy. P***** are going to therapy. I've heard that before have struggled with that and then they'll go to therapy. P***** are going to therapy. I've heard that before, yeah. Really? Where? I read it on a Reddit page, actually. Okay.

A Reddit page. Okay. Yeah, I'm going to let the joke cut there and that's it. Okay. I don't want to have to cut it again. Do you get demonetized if you say p*****? No, I'm going to bleep me saying the word. I'm saying I don't want to cut it because you'll ask me to no it's uh what did i ask you oh i asked you to cut that one thing that

would start you um no you don't have to cut anything if we're talking about that we'll move on okay but you what about how old is your uh son 10 months so less than a year old? Yes, sir. Would you sell him? I would not sell him. So what would somebody have to give you? There's no price. Let's say Apple offered you a gift card and they said... This is with you and apples. No, Apple Right okay They said No not just a pile of apples The company Apple asks How large the gift card would have to be Honestly like If they can just make a phone

That has the same charger For like four or five years in a row I think I'd consider it But they're gonna start having him work You know what I mean My son's gonna have to work Well just like those row, I think I'd consider it. But they're going to start having him work. You know what I mean? My son's going to have to work? Well, just like those Asian kids.

I think kids, I mean, child labor is not great, but I'll have my kid doing chores. I grew up on farms where you had to work. No, not for fun work. He has to put the phone together. He loves putting things together and tearing them apart. But if he doesn't succeed in doing it does he get a punishment no so that's the difference he doesn't yeah that is the difference it's a good point i just i don't want to have uh someone said to me

recently they were like how do you feel about the fact that you're having a nepo baby and i was like nepotism yeah um that was so i want to make sure i don't want to overcorrect, but I'm just going to make sure that he's not a dickhead, you know. Okay. And would you let him do a podcast in like a year's time when he's able to speak a little bit with Long Neck? Who's Long Neck? He's the guest coming in right now after you, right before. I'm going to fit him in between you and Tiger Belly. Between you and Bobby Lee. We're shooting an episode. I would honestly murder someone with my bare hands

before I would let my child near that crackhead that was in here earlier. No, that's not Long Neck. Oh. Why? Why would you think that's him? Who's Long Neck?

Oh, Long Neck is a different guest. It's not the rapper from Vegas who's probably murdering my boyfriend outside. No, he's back to Vegas, I would assume. By now? I would think so.

I would hope. I think... Hopefully he doesn't waste too much time. Okay. No, but Long Neck, he's the guy coming in right now. Okay.

He's a completely different guy. That's familiar. Long Neck. Yeah. There's a guy named Neck Face who was like a skateboard artist. Oh, Wide Neck? White Neck? Wide Neck, the black guy who's friends with Long Neck. long neck yeah there's a guy named neck face who was like a skateboard artist oh wide neck white neck wide neck

the black guy who's friends with long neck no I don't know wide neck or long neck can anyone just have a name

a normal what's like what's your name well the podcast is over now we're cutting we're gonna cut it here not like we're cutting

this out but we have to cut it because long neck is coming in okay well it's been a pleasure. Congratulations on your show. Thank you.

It's nice to meet you. Can I keep in all that stuff about ****? Yeah. Did I say anything mean about ****? I love ****. You said he's the funniest comedian you've ever met. Thanks for coming on. Pleasure.

You said that he should get his own special one day. He has a special. I've watched it. You said you don't watch comedies.