The Matan Show - Matan Interviews a Random Homeless M*dget

Episode Date: June 14, 2026

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free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming Ontario. Hello everybody. Welcome back to the podcast for today's guest. We have a shit. We'll come in. This is racist. Thanks for coming.

This is some racist stuff. Where'd you find this thing? For today's co-host, we have my manager of ViroFlooring. Welcome in Virofloring. Where the fuck do you find this thing? Just take a seat, please. I got your special chair. Dude, this thing isn't even fucking fit me.

He's too big? What? You're too big? I'm too big. No. Gang, come on now. Look at me. It works perfect.

You have your little dinosaur toy. get on the back he's so cute the fuck is your issue can you please pull the mic closer to your mouth and then introduce yourself for anybody who might not know what a mrs. I guess gang we're normal people we're just a little smaller than you but isn't the whole thing kind of different when you guys get older your arms fall off and your brains are a lot smaller so you're unable to understand math concepts past the grade Seven level?

I honestly don't even know what the fuck you just said. Well, you're saying you guys are as smart as us? Yeah, I graduated high school. Tell me this. Name me one philosopher, me, in the history of the world. What the fuck does philosopher even mean? Name me one expert mathematician, me shit, in the history of the world. Me?

I mean, not to my manager. I can't tell him what to do. What the fuck? I think he's jealous of my dinosaur No I don't fucking pet him Don't pet me either But you guys look so funny together No you're just mad that you don't have them

You're about to catch a right hook gang What the hell Is it illegal to hit one of you similar to like a kid Where it's worse legally than hitting a normal adult or no Yeah I heard the last time someone hit a little person They went to jail for 10 years Why? Because it just killed them No

They're so weak and fragile No, because it's racist Oh, so it's a hate crime, you're saying Exactly, it's a hate crime But we're not doing it as a hate crime to you We don't hate you guys We just think it would be funny if you started rolling around Ah wow, wow, wow, ah

Something like that That's not rolling around If you're rolling around, I'm saying I can't roll around right here I can roll like a football Okay, we'll move on Should the term M-Basketball

Be used to describe a game where M-M-I-S play basketball or a game where normal people use it as basketballs. Alright, first off you can't fucking turn me into a basketball so that's not possible. You would be surprised I think you'd be surprised I definitely don't bounce. You can play the Russian style where they're just throwing the guy or the basketball in this case Or alternatively it can just be used to describe me playing basketball with a ball. I think I like the answer a Oh the one where they use the mits as a basketball? No jackass the other one you said first. But who the hell is gonna watch that?

I'll tell you this. I wouldn't watch that in a million years and I'd watch the other version right now. You know, I bet you if there was an NBA finals for only little people, it would have more views than the actual NBA finals. Absolutely not. Maybe the first time, maybe the first five minutes,

and then they realize that it's zero to zero. It's like, can these guys even throw a ball that high? All right, that's just fucked up, man. I mean, it's true, though. I'm not even trying to be mean. We're not fucking vegetables, bro. We could still do normal activities. Okay, I'm talking about throwing a ball

like, you know, like seven feet taller than you are. If I won't be one to you in basketball, you lose 20 to zero. You can reach the ball? Yes. Can you bounce it? Yes. Oh, wow. That's impressive. Good for you. Thanks. How does it feel to be completely defenseless against small dogs

and rodents? You're fucking defenseless too over there. Shut up. I'm about to send rodents after his bitch ass. Really? Answer the question. I don't even know. What do you mean you don't know? Isn't it the same answer for both of us? Then I'm defensals against small dogs and rodents?

Yes. No, because I'm not. I'm a normal guy. I can either kick them. I can grab them and throw them. Let me tell you, if fucking a little rodent came over to me, I'd be kicking it. Yeah, and then you're going to kick it, you're going to fall over, and they're going to start eating your face. Goop!

It's like in a movie. Something like that. I think you need to lay off the drugs, man. I'm completely sober. I've never even been intoxicated once in my life. You just try hair. It's pretty good. You've tried it?

No. Maybe was your mother on it when you were... No, hell no, no, no. I was going to say maybe that's why you came out that way? No. I was just like a unicorn. What does that mean? Like one in a million.

I came out as a little shit. Did they know, can they test that before? Because recently they started being able to tell if babies are re-h-hitted before they are born. Can they tell if they're mishets? No. Actually, funny story, when I was born, I was 10 pounds. They didn't even really know I was a little person when I was born. Until like a month later, you were eight pounds?

No, when I was like, damn you're one, I still almost weighed 10 pounds. Oh, so you just didn't grow at all? Never. Just my head. They probably thought you had like a huge tumor and you were going to die. And then they realized you're a m-a-k. And they were like, oh, worse than that. How can we, we didn't even consider there was something worse than that. The fuck.

We thought we were going to be able to at least get donations for one of those tumor head babies on TikTok live. Oh, my God. You'd be donating to those people? Of course not. But they're funny to look at. And sorry you guys, so I would get on donate to you guys You donate to me? I'll give you a couple bucks to dance

Fuck yeah How much money do you think you could make at a swap meet If you were selling a bunch of your shit Rolled into a huge ball Dude, I could honestly probably become a millionaire Why? Because I feel like a lot of people would want to buy my shit And is that because

Why specifically? Because there can be a couple different routes for that Well go ahead, name some routes And I'll tell you if they're true or false Okay, there's a crazy guy you got really lucky who just likes buying shit There's people who think it's funny to buy a huge bottle of shit from a mrs That's a good answer right there That one?

Yeah, it's a big answer right there Would you still sell it to the guy if you knew it was like For weird purposes, you know, s s s s**o purposes? Bro, I'd sell him the shit knowing that he's going to rub it on him But that's really nasty you're like a prer-a-toot at that point You have to make a line Not at all, not a f***-a-a-oh. You're selling a guy's shit so he can rub it on himself for pleasure his purposes

Well, he's coming up to me and buy him. buying my shit. So that's his problem. Yeah, he's going and you're like a pro. The guy goes up to them and they offer their money and they get their services. Gang, you just said that the shit was already laid out. So like, no, I said you rolled your shit into a ball. Yeah, and I had it laid out and the dude came and bought it. I'd become a millionaire.

Yeah, and these, you know, these ladies are just standing on, I don't know if they call them that, whatever they are. Some of them are children. They're standing on the street and they're waiting. Their services are already basically laid out if you think about it. Yeah, I took all the fucking business. I don't think that's something to brag about. It's a shitty business, man. Is that a play because we're talking about a ball of shit?

Van Words, a riddle? It wouldn't be a riddle, that's for sure. But you said maybe. You don't even know what I'm talking about. Bro, I'm about to fucking throw this damn dinosaur at you. You're going to throw your chair out of him? Huh? This ain't a chair, gang.

You're sitting on it. This is Brutus the dinosaur. You put some respect to his name. This is your chair. No, this is a fucking dinosaur. But you're sitting on it. I'm fucking rocking on it now. You're like such a little kid that you believe it's real.

This isn't a chair. This is a dinosaur. This is not a chair. This is brutal as the dinosaur, my friend. Do you go around to different restaurants to sue them if the sink is too high? Actually, it's the mirrors. The sinks I can always reach. Yeah?

But the mirrors on the real, the mirrors are always too high and I can't even see myself. You know that they sue people for that, right? I would never do that. They'll actually go around to different restaurants and if the sinker the mirror is too high, they will sue them. I would personally never do that. But why? You could make so much money. Because I feel like that's just like a little bitch-ass move. I agree with you, but don't you think about it like this.

33% of mishots are wrestlers. 33% of them are people who go and try to sue people. And then 33% of them are people who dress as Tyrion and Lannister for $500 an hour. Okay, so what would you classify me as all of those? Karen Lannister type What Look at you man You're on a little dinosaur

Yeah I kind of looks It's like a cosplay sort of Like Loki Like even if this wasn't here I'd still want it Yeah you can take it with you I bet But why wouldn't you do the sink thing

You could make tens of thousands Of dollars per try I would never do that Most people will just settle with you Because it'll be such bad business For the restaurant I would never sue someone over a sink Even if you knew you would get money

I'm not Yeah, I don't want that money Okay, it's like dirty money to you Yeah dirty money It's like being a fucking Karen Okay, but they're usually not getting money But I see what you're saying Yeah, you're right

In a new survey conducted by door to door Door to salesmen They have learned that it's hard to sell a door To someone whose door they're already knocking on Why do you think this might be the case? Because they already have the door So what makes them want to buy a new door If that's what you're trying to sell as a door

A door to door salesman Yeah What is that? A door to door salesman A guy that knocks door to door to door to sell doors So you guys really actually are as smart as usual people Yeah, what the fuck do you mean? I'm not a dumb ass

Listen, I have to test it with a couple questions And see... What answer were you expecting out of that? I run out of cooking now I'm just mimicking a little kid Okay Or what I thought you might do I'd buy the door

That's all I gotta say. So you're in the middle between normal and stupid. I'd fucking buy the door. What would you do with it? You already have one, you dumb ass. I'd put the fucking door behind the other door. So that way your bitch ass couldn't get in. Okay, I'm getting through one door, but I can't get through the other one?

Why does that even make any sense? Because the second one, you're just not getting through. And why's not? Fuck around and find out, man. Couldn't even come up with a fucking reason for. You just said, find out. I probably find out that if I could get through one door, I could get through the other one.

And if I can't get through the first one, then I probably... What if the second one has no hinges and no knob? I didn't say that that's what the guy offered you did, though. Well, that's the fucking door I bought. Yeah? From who? The door to door salesman?

Yeah. How are you going to get in if it has no knob and no... How are you going to get out? You'll just starve in there. Well, I'll go out the back door. Well, then again, eating a spider for you is like a week's worth of food. A spider? Yeah.

Like a house spider? What kind of spider? Like, trancholess are pretty big. No, just one of those spiders. The shop in your bathroom from like little crevices. I think he needs to see a doctor. No, he doesn't like spiders. I should have brought some spiders for you, man.

He's not scared of them. He used to go and hunt them. Damn. Hey guys, sorry for the interruption. Have to let you know that today's episode is sponsored by Rumble Wallet. With Rumble Wallet, you can buy Bitcoin, hold dollar-backed stable coins, and even digital gold backed by real gold all in one place.

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Tablecoin. That's Maton 10, M-A-T-A-N to get $10 in U.S. table coin for the first 500 wallets activated and funded. Thank you to Rumble for sponsoring today's episode. Do people ever confuse you with a little dog in pet your head? Yeah, I've had it happen a couple times. Yeah. And do you get mad or do you understand? I mean, I don't understand. Like, I understand how dumb they actually are for them to fucking do that.

But like, it doesn't really upset me. I move on. But what do you say to them? They go, oh, little dog, little dog. Half the time I just call them a dumb ass and walk away. Okay, so you do get mad. You're calling them a dumb ass. I said that. Well, you said, like, I don't really care. I understand that they're dumb asses and I'll move on.

Yeah, but like I... Because thinking somebody's a dumb ass and moving on is different than going, you're a dumb ass. Now you're, like, getting mad at them verbally instead of just thinking about it in your head. Sometimes a little bit of both. What if it was a little kid that did it? Oh, hi, dog. I'm going to right hook the kid. Is that allowed?

Are you guys allowed to do that? No, we're not allowed to do that. That's not funny. It's not funny? No. Why? Can't hit kids, man. But it's a fair fight.

That's not a fair fight, man. Yes, it is. Me versus you is not even a fair fight. I completely agree. You're going to die. Oh, I thought you, I thought we were talking. Never mind. I thought you meant something else by that.

I'm going to put you in a freezer. What age are we talking about? You versus what? A six-year-old, you're right. It's not fair. You versus Maton. Okay, but I'm talking about little kids. You are a little kid.

I'm talking about somebody who's like, I think it becomes fair when they're about nine years old. As in because of height and size? At six, they're probably about almost as tall as you, but they just don't have any muscle mass. Yeah. At nine, they're about as smart as you and have almost as much muscle mass. At nine years old? Yeah. Damn.

He agrees. I think he wants to fight you. I like this guy after all. He's not bad. You're trying to come on the back of my dinosaur? What the fuck? Maybe I don't like you. Why?

What did he say? I don't even know. I'm going to ignore him now. Must have been the wind. Do you still order the happy meal of McDonald's? Yeah. You do? Yeah.

And what do you get? Six piece McNuggets? Yeah, most of the time six piece McNuggets. Maybe a four piece. They don't even have a four piece. Yes, they do. Well, depending on the mood I'm in. What do you mean depending on the mood you're in?

You just said they didn't even have it. So what's cheaper to get... You know it's cheaper to get 10 nuggets than it is a kid's meal? Yeah, because a kid's meal comes with a little funny toy for people like you to play with when you're bored and a little fries. No... That fuck. Normally I exchange my toy for like ice cream.

Is that allowed? Yeah, hell yeah. That's... I thought you could only exchange the apples. apples for extra fries. I didn't even know they gave you apples. What are you getting in your happy meal? Normally just fries, the sandwich or chicken nuggets, and a toy.

And milk most of the time. Dude, you probably smell pennies in your free time, eh? You probably take a sack of pennies and just fucking sniff them. God damn. Where'd you find this guy at? That's my manager. Is Mr. Beast a racist since he only builds wells in Africa? Think about it.

I think... I don't think so. I don't think he's racist. Then why doesn't he build them in places like Norway? Or Sweden? Is it because those people are developed and they don't need fucking wells built in the dirt? Exactly.

That's true. Good point on my end. I mean, Africa needs help. Most of the other countries don't need help. What if we do like survival island? M-H-H-Vos vs Africans It's a fair match-up If you can get this going, I'll sign up

Who would compete in it? Yeah Who do you think would win? I'd fuck them all up You seem very, very overconfident In like, I'll fuck you up I'll fuck up 10 Africans Who want to eat my skull

After they've eaten my brain You know what? I'll fuck you up, I'll fuck up a spider Yeah Are you making up for something Because, you know, I don't know what you would want to make up for

Or are you just actually an idiot I got nothing to make up for Okay Type shit Why do people think the sun is bigger than the moon When they're clearly the same size How do you know they're the same size Because I look into the sky and they look very similar

So you fucking stare into the sun? I mean do you not look at the sun every once in a while You don't look in the sky when it's bright out I mean not directly at the sun I mean I'm not looking directly at it But for one it's in my peripheral vision And for two maybe I'll glance over it while looking at it to the other side and it'll get a general idea of how big it is.

True. Isn't it like when they have like the eclipse? Isn't it like almost the same size too? That's another good point. How could the moon cover the sun or vice versa if they're not exactly the same size? Type shit. I think we just debunked that theory. I debunked it.

You don't get any credit for it. No, me not. The scientists want us to believe that they're the same size so they can profit off something I can't explain because I'm obviously just a crazy person. So you think the earth is flat around? I think it's, uh, I think it's, uh, I think it's, more like a square bro what the fuck do you eat in the mornings that's what you probably eat I can see that for sure usually just like maybe some waffles like eggos yeah maybe that maybe eggs fair all right just the normal stuff

maybe it's not the breakfast then try to show you fuck think dude don't don't have to give me involved with this see in your chair and behave you're lucky he's here he's trying to make you happy he's here he's trying to make you You're getting upset at him. I'm about to piece him up. You truly think that would go well for you? What? He could just jump on your head like a gumba.

He just called you a gumba. No, I'm calling you a gumba. He's Mario. Look at him. Look how he's dressed, you idiot. He's the superhero in red. Oh. You're a small little brown guy.

But you're not really that brown. Not brown. Yeah. It'd be better if you were brown than this would make a lot more sense. From the waist down on brown. Did you come up with that one yourself? Yes. Stolled that off of like Reddit 12 years ago.

Exactly. Do little kids usually laugh or scream when they see you? I'd say half and half. Really? A direct cut down the middle? I'd say. Which reaction do you prefer? And honestly, like, depends on, like, the race of the kid, too.

Which race is more going to laugh at you versus screaming? Uh, all of them. They all fucking... I don't even know. No. Do some of them ever get confusing think you're a little kid? Yeah. They go, why does that little kid have a huge mustache? No, they say, why does that little kid have a big head? Oh, really? Yeah. Do you have a bigger head than most kids?

That's what they say. That's what they say. I never even thought about it like that because your head is about as big as mine. Yeah, but like look out like my hat. It's a big ass hat. Yeah. I got a big head. Like this is almost maxed out. Oh, and little kids have smaller heads? Yeah. But maybe actually it'd be more obvious that you're not. little kid to them because you have a fucking mustache and a beard. Well, they can't see my mustache when they see behind me.

Oh, well, how would they know how big your head is? You have long hair blocking your head. I don't know, bro. They always, you can hear that one. And then you turn around and they go, Yeah, sometimes I'll go chase them. Sometimes I'll go chase them. You're like really trying to get yourself into some trouble.

You're like feigning for an adult to hit you. You are one of those lawsuit mits. Lawsuit, yeah, I knew it. I would never even waste the time to file a lawsuit. So what's your background? Are you like white? Are you Jewish? Are you Native American?

Isn't white and Jewish the same? Like you can be Jewish and white? No way! But I'm white to answer your question. You're white? Actually, half Russian. Half Russian? That would be white.

Yeah, still white. Yeah, there's a difference between Jewish and Russian. It's like evil and good. What? Why is it evil? So if I told you I used to be Jewish You'd be upset right now You used to be Jewish? I'm only allowed to do that one

No I used to be Jewish What do you mean you used to be used ethnically Ethically? Exactly That word Is somebody in your family Your mother is Jewish? My dad was a Russian Jew

He's 100% Jewish Yeah he was And then he got baptized In our own pool In the backyard Now he's Christian Fuck you Putting your head down for it

You Satanist You're a sireup I don't even know what that means I sure you don't I knew there was something with you It's like oh this mrs. Too okay with my jokes He's allowing me to say some far

Things I know what this is You're trying to gather evidence on me I know what I'm fucked Well I mean I'm doing this I'm just saying I know what it is See I picked up on that And then you said He's in white and Jewish the same thing

I know what this is They should have at least got one That's a little smarter doesn't go for the level one trick. This is a fun one. What would be the worst punishment for an unborn baby? Black, paraplegic, me-t-blind. I think paraplegic.

I'm going to just start ignoring, you know. I can't throw the dinosaur at you, so I'm defenseless. Bigaboo! Yeah, I'm going to show you pink-a-boo. What's your issue with him? He's just trying to have fun. Huh? What's the problem with him?

Why are you so hostile? All he's doing is laughing and calling him. me a name. What did he say? That's not fun. It's a peekaboo. No. The bitch ass over here. You don't even know how to spell that word probably. Yeah, fucking dumbass is writing it. He got it right.

Yeah, of course he would say that. He got it right. He's like a signature too. Yeah. What do you mean? Of course I would say that. He fucking spelled it. It's like the easiest word in the world to spell. He spelled exactly how it sounds. Anyways, you didn't answer my question. I'm not sure you're talking. Instead of paraplegic.

That's the worst? I'd say. Okay, so rank the rest. Rank, now put them in order. The worst is not even bad. Blind? I mean, that's, okay. That's second bad.

Black? Whoa. You got an issue with black people? I didn't say I had an issue with them. I said, what would be the worst curse for an unborn baby? I'd say paraplegic. Blind. Black, white, a little person.

So it's ideal to be a little person. Yeah, fuck yeah. Why? Because you guys get to make $500 an hour from dressing up like an umpa-lumpa type shit. It is an unbelievably good method to make money. I'll tell you this. I had to hire a couple of you guys back for some older episodes. It's like they're fucking stern negotiators.

They have like, they have like a mob boss running the whole thing. It's like, oh, I need two of them later today. Thousand bucks. Yeah. Send it to me PayPal. Yeah, literally. There's no way that they're getting a thousand bucks though, or like five under each. This lady is probably or this guy, whoever it is usually.

He's connecting or is collecting almost all of the money probably. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it is. So you guys need to stand up for yourselves. So the way mine works is I know who actually runs it all. So, like, I don't get fleeced, but majority of the time, they get fleeced. So who do they usually have you dress up as? What have I dressed up as? One time I got sent to a girl's house to go wrestle the girl.

And I did not wrestle her. I denied it. But who do you usually dress up as? I don't want to hear about your escape. It didn't happen. That time I was dressed up as like a little luchador. Oh, really? Yeah.

See, wrestling? See, they all go one in the same. Yeah, literally, literally. They always try to toss me, too, and I always tell them fuck off. I don't get tossed. I really don't wrestle either. What if they offered you a bonus? They can fuck off with their bonus.

Why? Because I don't need to wrestle and then possibly kill myself. Well, then you get a big lawsuit on your hands. Well, I'll be fucking dead, so. But then all the money can go to the M. They can go to my family. We can get rid of them being born. No more.

All right, gang. I hope your son. is a little person when he's born. By the time I have a son, hopefully eugenics has come way further past that where it's illegal to not get rid of it at that point. It's like, you're going to keep it, you're going to jail.

I mean, come on. I'm a eugenics guy. I'm the eugenics guy, they call me sometimes. Do you know about eugenics? No, I don't even know what the fuck that means. It's really this good, amazing thing that's not controversial at all. Hey guys, sorry for the interruption.

Have to let you know that today's episode is sponsored by Chubbies. The weather is finally starting to warm up and nobody does better swim trunks than chubby. Chubby swim trunks are extremely stylish and comfortable with lightweight fabrics that helps it dry faster and more. I can also tell you from my own personal experience that chubby swim trunks and some of their other products are extremely comfortable. When I wore them for the first time, I like that they were extremely fast drying and I also felt that they were extremely stretchy and comfortable, unlike some other products from other brands that I've worn in the past. Another one of the products that I really like from Chubby is the original shorts.

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20% off. Thank you to Chobbies for sponsoring today's episode. What's the point of a carbon monoxide alarm? Who the hell even dies from that anyway? I've never really around carbon dioxide. However, you say that word. I'm not even going to continue

that. We'll move on. The only thing I've ever heard about that stuff is like it can recirculate into your car and you can just like be slowly c-k-yourself. It's probably not the worst way to go out though, is it? Nah. There's much worse ways.

I'd say. So actually maybe we should just remove our carbon monoxide alarms. I agree. Do you live in LA? No. Do you live in New York? I live in the North Pole. Do you live in New York?

No. Do you live in New Orleans? No. Do you live in Tampa? No. Do you live in Las Vegas? No. Do you live in Portland?

No. Do you live in Baltimore? No. Do you live in San Diego? No. Do you live in San Francisco? No. Do you live in Jacksonville?

You're turning into an unskippable ad Do you live in Jacksonville? Unskippable ad Do you live in Boston? No Do you live in Jacksonville? No You live in Minneapolis?

No Do you live in Orlando? No You live in Cleveland? Unskippable ad Do you live in Bakersfield? Unskippable ad Do you live in Bakersfield?

I normally skip this part Do you live in Bakersfield? No Do you live in Cleveland? No. Do you live in Pittsburgh? No You live in St. Louis?

No. You live in St. Louis? No. Do you live in Denver? out on your fucking piece of paper. Oh wow. Do you live in Denver? No.

Do you live in Sacramento? No. Do you live in Philadelphia? No. So where do you live? The North Pole. Oh, you're like one of those elves. But they're actually usually not like the condensed square form.

They're like the tall skinny form. You just call me a square? Sort of, yeah. I mean, look at you. And I don't mean that with any offense. I'm just being honest. I don't get it. They're depicted more like a...

You're not in your head, but I don't know if that's a yes. I know what you mean. Or you just want to move on. I know what you mean. I agree. Okay. You good over there? Are you done?

Can you get on this? The fuck you want. The history of bigotry against little people is significant and cannot be ignored. Throughout time, dwarves have been mistreated for their smaller size and alternative proportions. These kinds of jokes are not funny. It isn't funny to pick up. up a little person without their consent. It isn't funny to laugh at their size.

It isn't funny to treat them as though they were a child. Such as having them sit on a small dinosaur toy. Shout out to Mike Mike. That guy doesn't have a fucking sense of humor. No, Mike Mike is a legend. Black Lives Matter.

It's one of those guys. He's a legend. He's a legend. He's a legend. A fucking piece of shit. You just, the fuck let him in here. Huh? What an asshole. He's telling me,

what I can do? You seem to be enjoying that toy, don't you? I fuck with it. Okay, then why would you agree with what he just said? He said that stuff like that is not okay. Because he only had this year because I was a little person. Well, I thought you were a little kid, actually. I had a lot of questions written like, you. What's your favorite? Play-Doh color. And then you showed up and you had a mustache. I was like, oh, shit. And I started changing all my notes real quick. You got the wrong Facebook ad? I mean, it's just hard for me to tell the difference. I don't have like the greatest eyesight. You know what I mean? Not at all. But then when you got real close to me, I was like...

You want to try these? Holy shit. Ha ha ha. Real funny. Real fucking funny. You want me to try it? Yeah, yeah, try them on. Yeah, a little bit.

Oh! Oh, it's very scary. Oh, okay. Oh, God. We can never hold God. You want to try them? Can I try yours? What the fuck?

Can I try yours? Yeah, that's what I thought. This is what little kids do, bro. he's doing right now is what little kids do to me in public that's what they do go out to recharge all right and then you're gonna pause yep out of breath out of breath pause okay catch your breath god damn you said that's what little kids do he yes what do you mean when they laugh at you yes but you know they're not doing it to insult you yeah i know they're fucking they don't know they don't

I understand he doesn't know any better yeah clearly look at him he what he thinks he's a fucking he thinks he's a Ferrari race car driver this guy probably touches sorry about that good boy I'll bite your ankles exactly like a dog I'll bite your ankles reinforcing me that you don't act like a dog after I pet your head you shouldn't threaten to bite my ankle bitch I am a dog I don't mean like a dog like a black person dog I mean like literally a dog no I'm in like a roof roof motherfucker Fucker, I'll bite your ankles. Do you think a dog would get confused like a kid does

where a kid thinks you're another kid? A dog might think you're a dog if you get on all fours. Honestly, they just think I'm fucking an alien. One time I went to this dog park and all the dogs were barking at me. Oh, really? Yeah, all of them were barking at me. He finds that fucking hilarious.

Because they were scared of you or what? I don't know. They were literally in a ring all barking at me and then their owners were... They made a circle around. Yes. I had like one, two, three. It was like three here, two years.

Or just no. No. They kind of look like you, little bitches. Oh. Oh, I got you. Come on, right here. Yeah. Thanks.

If everybody you ever knew started rapidly descending into a state of madness and you had to sit by and watch, how would you feel? Good question for me. I just sit back and let them do them. But how would you feel about it? I didn't ask what you would do. a little stressed out depending

I'm saying like your mother your father all your siblings if you have any their grandmother they're all rapidly descending into madness I might run

I don't know if you could save that that's madness but you wouldn't even feel bad I mean hell yeah I feel bad you guys don't have compassion I feel bad so what would you do

fucking run though if they're all coming after me to fucking I said rapidly descending into madness yeah madness I mean like That doesn't mean they're coming to you.

There's a lot of people who've gone mad a lot more than there are murderers. You didn't think about that, huh? True. So think about it and then get back to me with an answer, please. Alright, I'll get back to you one to three days. This thing's actually starting to hurt my ass. Every chair that you sit on will, because none of them are made for people to your size. Unless you want to sit in a fucking high chair.

You want me to get you a high chair? Got what you want? You got one? can get one I can get one delivered for the next time if there will be one if you can survive that long so tell me do you want one or not no I'm good no I'm good okay I'm gonna just keep rocking right here shouldn't you actually get paid more for hunting and endangered species no you can't hunt then but they're far more rare they're far harder to find and usually they're in places like tropical zones that are either impossible or near impossible to get to so

Let's say there's an endangered purple rhino that is in the desert that you're not allowed to hunt. Shouldn't you actually get way more money for hunting it? Because it's like this unbelievable trophy that not only was hard to find, it was hard to kill, and it was much rare to find. That's just like saying, isn't it better to get a speedy ticket going way faster? Yeah, but you're allowed to hunt animals in almost every place in the world. Well, you're allowed to go about like five miles above the speed limit. You won't really get pulled over. But these are completely different things, will you?

No, they're not. You're breaking the law. Anyway, you're breaking the law. Let's say you hunt an animal, you're allowed to hunt, okay? It's a law. Yeah, you're allowed to do it. Why is that a law? Shouldn't the law be...

Fuck the law. I don't look at laws as the moral background for society. Well, they are, but that's because they were decided by, you know who. And that means they're all wrong. They don't want us to hunt them because they're in danger. That might have been a little far. I'm talking about mits, by the way. Not anybody else.

We're not endangered. Well, that went off, completely, completely off what we were talking about. Let's get back on the topic. There's a lot of us. Yeah, yeah. Seriously, so why don't I give more money when I try hunting an endangered frog? It's endangered. It's illegal to hunt.

What does it matter that it's illegal? Then we should have the law removed and made a new one. That's just like saying, why can you not go 20 miles in about both, blah? Because then you'll fucking run into a guy with your car and kill him. Well, you're going to kill all the animals and then there'll never be one. But now I'm allowed to kill the purple one, but not the rainbow one or what about vice versa. It's ridiculous. We obviously also don't value animal lives as much as human lives.

The main concern for driving not recklessly is so you will not kill humans. Not so you won't fucking run over a turtle. You're supposed to watch out for turtles. No, yeah, but if you run over one, then the government will see it and scrape it off the fucking street. Yeah, you're right. Okay. Well, isn't that what they do to people too when they get ran over? They just scraped off the fucking street. No, they started an investigation. I got up into my friend and then he went to jail because he was intoxicated, but really he just had a couple beers.

Oh. Sounds like he fucked up, man. I mean, he's in jail, but he's alive and the other guy who was crossing the street when he was allowed isn't until he's with us anymore. So would you rather be in jail and you didn't follow the law? Or would you rather be in jail? be who knows where dead even. Well, dead for sure, but you know, because you followed

the law. Who really won that situation? I agree. That was a good question. How much money does a m-h-h-t really need to survive? The same as a normal human? That's absolutely not true. What do you think our stuff's half-cost?

Okay, for one, you need significantly less food. What the fuck? Of course that's true. I mean... No. What are you talking? Why are you talking about of course you need less food. Why, less food? Do you weigh as much as the average person? No. From here, down to here, I'm normal, gang. I'm not even saying this part to insult you. I know the whole time I've been insulting you and treating you like a little boy because I don't have the best eyesight, so I keep forgetting

and I'm bad with my memory. I'm really just lying. It's because of why I found it funny and so did he, and it's funny. We get to pick on somebody. Yeah, because y'all probably got bullied when you all were younger, eh? But seriously, of course you guys need less money. Not only you need less food. I mean, your calorie intake is less. You need less water and you need less space to live in a house. Like, we still have to spin the same amount of money. This room for me is like kind of a small room, but sure maybe 60% of my size. So if I added a thing in the middle here, like a border to separate this part and that part, it wouldn't make any sense. My head would be hitting the ceiling for you. It wouldn't. We could turn this into a fucking mansion for you.

be a complete headache. So for me, the rent that I need to pay to get by in LA is probably at least almost $2,000. Probably more. You're very slow in the brain right now. For you, you could get by on probably like 300 bucks. You're still staying in the same room as me. I just might have more space than you. Yeah, exactly. But that doesn't matter. We're still spinning the same amount of money. We're still spinning the same amount of money. But I couldn't live comfortably in this one room. Yeah, you could. I mean, hypothetically, I could. It would just be an ideal. Oh, look, you put a mattress over there, a little mini fridge somewhere. Okay, but that's not a living comfortably that's how you live when you when you know your manager stealing all your

money which is why i am here but i'm not living comfortably obviously it's a fucking mess everywhere well anyways i think his batteries are running low we're encroaching on the end of the episode because i have to film with long neck now do you know long neck i love long neck oh really yeah i could call him right now oh god we're gonna see him in about five minutes shout it to long neck he's the next guest you think you could beat long neck in a fight that would be a fair one finally after all the shit you've talked about beating me or beating him are beating normal size people, are beating up Africans.

I don't think I could fight long neck. Why? Too much respect for long neck. You got to respect the neck. Respect for what? Just respect the neck, man. There's nothing to respect. Respect that his neck is abnormally long.

So instead of getting a normal job and living a normal life, now we act like a fucking idiot on Instagram. Isn't that what you do? No, because my neck isn't long. You act like a fucking idiot on YouTube. Yeah, but not because my neck is long. Because you have a fucking d'i-fro?

No, because of my neck is long. my brain is maybe a little bit different than the average guy actually no he's is also messed up but in a completely different way yo if someone's knocking on your door later don't ask questions so you think you could beat him in a fight

I'm not knocking on his door someone else will be not him long neck the next guest in a minute I would never fight him if you had to nope wouldn't have to fight him hypothetically never you're paid to do it don't even know what hypothetically means okay you are not fighting long neck you're fighting a cloned evil version with the exact same stats and attributes as long neck.

Could you beat that guy in a fight? As long as it's not long neck, yeah. You could though? Yeah. Even considering his physical attributes. Yes. I'll tell you this, I agree. Okay.

Thanks for coming on the show. Hell yeah. Thanks for being a good sport about it. Hopefully you'll see Longneck on the way outside. And hopefully I didn't offend you or he offended you with any of the horrible things we said to you. No. We didn't? Never.

I appreciate it. I could take this home? Yes. That's all yours. I'm good to go now? Yeah. All right.