The Matan Show - Matan Interviews a Random Mexican Plumber

Episode Date: July 19, 2026

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This episode is brought to you by FIFA World Cup, launch edition, on Netflix. It's a fast, fluid game where your phone is the controller, and your TV is the stadium. You just launch it on your TV, scan the QR code with your phone, and boom, you're shooting and passing in seconds. Plus, it's included in your Netflix membership

with zero extra costs. Go to the Games tab and play FIFA World Cup launch edition now, only on Netflix. Hello, everybody. back to the podcast for today's guest. We have a plumber. Welcome in. Thanks for coming. You're welcome. You're welcome. For today's co-host, we have Mike. Welcome in Mike. So if you could just pull the mic a little bit closer to yourself and then introduce yourself to anybody who might not know you and all that one. My name is Anthony and I'm just a plumber, simple plumber.

That's what you do mainly? I do all kinds of stuff, but I do that mainly. That's your main thing. Do you do other stuff like locks meeting or when you say that it's like kind of like, what is that pretty much in general like copper plumbing galvanized everything that's got to do with pipes what's the difference between plumbing and copper plumbing well copper plumbers got to be weld instead of joining it with threats right that's the only difference and then uh galvanized plumbing is used for gas copper plumbing is using for like hot water like a carbonized weapon one of those heat machines that turns people into slime you can probably say that yeah yeah and do you think it would be a idea for somebody like you to mess up all of the pipes in their area so more people

have to hire you well um hey that's a good idea you know that's actually it probably works yeah i get a bunch of business from it i probably could yeah i haven't done anything like that but now they you say you know the government doesn't really give a shit you could probably just go wild and do something like that put on a little outfit dressed like the batman so they just think you're like a homeless guy they just went wild and in the next day as anthony they're going to hire you a bunch of different people to fix their toilets. That sounds like an idea to me. Actually, I can probably hire somebody to do it,

and I just go up there and do the work. Yeah, but that's a little bit risky because they're not going to want to dress up as the bad man, most likely, because it's demeaning. They don't understand that it's purely pragmatic. When you're a mid-sized business, you need every competitive advantage you can get, like an AI solution that works for you, not against you. SAP Grow is built with AI embedded at its core. working across every system

and it's ready to go from day one so you can hit the ground running bring it with SAP Grow AI Cloud ERP for any size business No they probably won't Yeah have you ever been cleaning a toilet And then the shit comes out and starts

forming into a giant monster that you have to defeat in a battle Seems like that sometimes I mean honestly man I see all kinds of stuff as far as toilet schools And sewer and it's just sometimes I have to just cover myself in a whole suit, put gloves all the way up to my shoulders.

What the worst thing you ever saw? The worst thing I ever saw was, okay, let me see. A toilet busted. It broke. The person was sitting on the toilet while it happened. I didn't know that. It's like a very fat person. And it tilt sideways.

Yeah. It tilt sideways and everything went on the floor. A bunch of shit? Yeah. But you don't specialize in cleaning the action. actual shit though, do you? Well, sometimes, to be honest with you, people call me for a simple toilet installation or take a toilet out, but people's full of surprises, man. When you show up sometimes, it's not what they tell you, and it's not what it's in. Once you're there,

you're stuck in a lot of shit, and then you sometimes... Literally, you're stuck in shit. Yeah, you have to clean it sometimes, and, but like I said, I cover myself and use all the proper... You have, like, a radiation suit on, or what do you wear? No, no, maybe one of those white suits that you use to get into the edicts when you get into insulation. Yeah. And it's waterproof. So I don't have to, like, get all kinds of crap. But if you're a little bit weird, actually, maybe you like those type of situations and you won't show up in a suit at all.

You show up with no shirt on even. No, no. That won't be a thing. But I don't know. I've been doing it for so many years. Not you. It's a weird guy who likes the smell and feeling shit all over themselves. A completely insane plumber.

Oh, okay. They got into the job for a completely different reason than you. There is certain people, man. Have you met somebody like that? Before they like to get stuck on crap. You know, they like crap. You can say that, you know? They like shit, actually.

They like literally shit. Not as like problem shit, like literally shit. I think this overhated. Listen, I wouldn't go that far. You know, I don't want to work in cleaning shit unless whatever the situation comes up where that makes sense for me to do it something. point, but I think people have this misconception where they think it's dirty.

It pays a bill at the end of the day, puts a food on the table. That's exactly what I'm saying. But sometimes you're eating your own dinner and you can even eat it, you know, because after you've been around all this shit, you know, you know what I'm saying. If you're around it enough, you'll become desensitized. Yeah, I'm not having dinner tonight. And think about it like this. If you give a small baby shit while they're growing up and they eat shit their whole lives,

they'll never know that you're not supposed to eat it. It's just culturally we raise the, them to think that it's not okay because it'll make you sick and die. But really, they might even like the taste if it's all you feed them. It's like a dog eating kibble. Yeah, well, I guess they can do that if they choose to, but, you know. Further on that topic, do you think it would be a good idea to start hoarding the shit you remove in case that eventually becomes the universal currency?

Hoaring like, what, what do you mean by that? Shit. So like when you clean toilets, when you go and fix stuff for people, you start collecting the shit in bags and you bring it back to your house. So in case eventually the dollar collapses, we start using shit as the currency to buy things. Well, I don't know, but I tell you one thing, people back then that I knew of, they used to use shit as fertilizer, you know. Exactly. To grow up. They still use it.

They do these trenches and they put it there and they're supposed to help the plants grow up better. They still use cows shit usually as fertilizer and manure. So think about it. this, there's already a use for shit and the dollar, you know, the government's a little bit unstable. It looks like we're unfortunately going to get a liberal next term. So just to back it up, in case that currency comes about where now we need a bunch of shit, if you've been collecting for like four years, you might be the richest man in the world. It might be a thing. You ever see the movie, um, idiocacy? No. It's a movie that is made in the future and the planet

it becomes full of shit and everybody's on shit. So I don't know, it was a thing in the movie. It kind of seems a little realistic the way we're going. I think that's exactly what could happen. I think that's a good point. And think about it like this. If everything collapses, people won't have any food, so they'll have nothing to shit out.

So you'll have a bunch of shit from when people had food and then that's why it'll be limited. That's why it could be the currency. Coupe, man, yeah. It's a great idea. Take that in mind. What's the coolest thing you found in someone's toilet? Toys?

Toys? I find a couple, I think I found Barney and SpongeBob once. Was the kid making like a statement like he doesn't like to show anymore, or he just dropped it in there? No, I think a kid just dropped it in there and it was clothed up and I keep snaking that thing and it doesn't go anywhere. So I'm like, hell, I'm just going to take the toilet out. And I did. Oh, really? And I looked under the toilet and there it was.

That probably ended up being a pretty expensive job for them, no, since you had to take the entire toilet out? Well, it's not so hard once you have practice. It's only have two bolts. Oh, really? You lift it up. You take the wax out and then you dig in there. And no, it's not a big deal. Yeah, I'll take probably to put it back on and off 30 minutes.

So what would you charge somebody for something like that? Depends how much I can handle. If I go to certain areas, like I say, like maybe over here, around there, probably like $300, $350. dollars. Yeah. If I go to like maybe North Hollywood, Pacoima, I know people can afford that. Right. And they won't pay that. So, 150 bucks. So you're kind of like Robin Hood. You'll change the prices depending on how much money they have. You have to adjust to the... And do you tell them the price before or you tell

them after you're done with the work? No, I tell them before because if I go the way down there and waste my gas and my time for no reason, then, you know, I have to make sure that the job is, you know, it's confirmed. The people ever sometimes when you're working, they like close the door, they let you because they don't want to smell it or something, you could probably start stealing all of the stuff in their bathroom, and you could get away with, like, a bunch of toothbrushes, a bunch of towels. Since you have a bunch of tools with you, you could probably unscrew their sink and start stealing the handles.

It can happen, but most of the people that I work for, they escape through the window. They refer. But I could, yeah, I heard of people doing that before. Oh, really? Taking their gold, like little gold necklaces or whatever they can. I never done anything. Well, that's obvious.

If I was a story. If I was a plumber and I saw a gold necklace, I would have... Hear that? It's your money calling. It wants a promotion. Elevate your savings with the Scotia high-interest savings account. Always earn high regular interest rates that grow the more you save and invest. Conditions apply.

Visit scotiabank.com slash h-I-SA to learn more. Scotia Bank. You're richer than you think. I think that fell down the toilet, unfortunately. And it would be in my pocket. Actually, the last time I went and did some plumbing work, it was a trap. I had to take it apart. And this guy lost his islands in there.

And they like $4,000 islands, I'd say, okay, I'll show up. Okay, just give me like $100, you know. So I opened the trap. I find his land there, give it to him. And this guy is like, no, no, that's too quick. You get 30 bucks. Oh, wow. He tried scamming you.

And I'm like, yeah. And I'm like, do I came all the way up from North Rich to North Hollywood. Come on, man. And he's like, no, that's, you make money too quick. He didn't want to argue with the guy. Some people get, and he was on my ass while I was doing it, like right there watching me the whole time. And it was annoying, man. And it was very uncomfortable, actually.

And he only ended up giving you 30 or he gave you the full hundred? I didn't even took the money. I told him, fuck you. Oh, you took nothing? Yeah, I don't. See, that's. what I'm saying, a guy like that, it's probably not the average person, but just in case you run into a guy like that one day, you should punish everybody by stealing their stuff.

Well, a lot of the clients are very good people, so most of them might know. Maybe if you know one of them for a long time, you can differentiate them, but on the first try, you should always steal stuff. Maybe. Maybe I should have started doing that. I don't know. Maybe. Well, imagine how rich you'll be. Think about it like this. If shit becomes the universal currency, and you start collecting shit, now you'll become the richest guy in the world. If you start stealing screws and sinks

and handles and towels and toothbrushes and toothpaste and shaving cream and all this stuff, you'll also just be extremely rich if that world doesn't come about where the most useless thing becomes the most useful item. So either way, you'll become extremely wealthy. We don't know what the world is going to take us right now. Maybe either way, maybe one of them will work, you know?

Yeah. Or screws or tools, whatever. Maybe that will become the universal currency, like in Fallout where they use bottle caps. Maybe. For what? For coins? Yeah, they use that as a currency. Yeah, it's a currency for coins.

The planet has been destroyed by nuclear bombs, so they can't produce any more bottle caps and seen a finite amount. Yeah, I saw that in a show called Fallout. Oh, you saw that? Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Yeah, they use the cups. It's a good show. It's a pretty good show. I watched it.

Did you like it? My kids love it. Yeah, yeah, I watch it because my kids are, you got to watch it. I'm 50, man. You know. You're 50 years old? 50, yeah. So I don't get into those type of shows,

but once I start watching a few episodes, then I start liking it. You'd probably make a lot of money in the world like that, actually. Your skills would be very useful. Maybe, yeah. I don't make better as it is, you know. Yeah, people underestimate, I think, how much plungers make. Oh, they make, believe me, and now it's this thing.

Yeah. We don't even use this crap no more, because in these days what people eats, man, it always closed the damn toilet I don't know it's just the food the hormones on it these things hardly ever work and you have to snake them all the time most of the time

because hey man we live in LA okay yeah and uh we got all the cultures of the world over here you know Hindus Latins whites of Chinese yeah that first one for sure he's going to clog the toilet to an unbelievable level all those types of foods they're going in those places

man they they start and I like that you're not scared to say it because some some plumbers would be like hey everything's the same, I'm not racist, but you recognize it's like you're going to a Hindu house for one, it's going to be a lot of work and for two, you're going to make a lot of money probably. A lot of spices in there. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, they're already on board, though, with it actually. They already use shit as a currency. Did you know that in India? I heard many stories, but I'm not. They actually eat it. That you have a festival where they eat shit.

Holy crap, yeah. I'm not joking, by the way. That's true. That's quite a thing. I probably believe it. Yeah. I mean, I know people have some retool in the world. No, rituals. Like where they're used as cremash. People eat shit. I don't know about being, maybe that's part of their culture.

I don't know, man. Is there re-h. No. Part of their culture that they like to eat shit. I don't know. I'd say if you eat shit as part of your culture, I think you can be classified also as a r-red.

So it's one of the same. You're getting, you know, stuff that is not going to help your brain, that's for sure. You know, nutrients on that crap. In fairness, though, I think their brain were kind of doomed from the beginning. Yeah, why will you say that?

I guess a good analogy would be somebody who's going to die tomorrow eating a bunch of junk food and somebody telling them it's going to be bad for their health. They're going to be dead tomorrow anyways. So you're telling a guy whose brain was already doomed. They could never be intelligent or understand anything high level. Hey, don't eat that shit. It's going to mess with your brain.

Yeah, like McDonnells, right? No, like actual shit. Okay, shit, but there's much difference. It tastes like food. But that's what I was saying. A little baby would never know the difference between shit and McDonald's if they ate shit from growing up. And in India, that's what they do. Because they don't have McDonald's.

They only have shit. Yeah. Because they are not allowed to eat cows. Did you went to India and experienced anything like that? No, I saw a video of a racist guy. A racist guy made a video and I believed it. Oh, really? Yeah.

I see videos of making some food that I never seen before in the streets. No. It's interesting, but I don't know. I don't know. If I'll eat it. Yeah, me neither. Never know. Hey guys, sorry for the interruption.

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Terms and conditions apply. See the description below or visit rumble.com slash promo official rules for details. Thank you to Rumble for sponsoring today's episode. Do you relate to Picel Rick from show? Pekle-Rick. What's that? He's from that show. Rick and Morty, Rick turns himself into a pickle to avoid going to therapy, and then he falls into a sewer system.

Oh, okay, so your question is if I will pick the pickle out of there? I'm asking if you relate to him. Oh, no, no. I don't think so. He falls into the system, and then it's this guy who's now a pickle, so he doesn't have arms or legs, but he has a mouth. Okay. So he ends up tricking a rat, and then he uses his mouth to control the rat's brain because he bites his head open. and then he ends up putting himself on top of the rat

and then maneuvering with the rat until he uses a bunch of rats that he kills to turn himself sort of into a rat and then he crawls out of the sewer system and turns himself back into a human. Okay. If you want a $3,000 a month payday for life, what would you feel free to do?

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Please play responsibly. Maybe you could relate to him because you kind of deal with plumbing. Oh. And he's a pickle. I don't know. Maybe, man. I've been in a very bad situation down there, believe me. Actually, especially when you own there,

and there's hardly any room, and you've got to do ruder work. You know what I mean? And you have to open those pipes that are literally full of crap. Yeah. You know, you have to be very careful because once you open the joints of them, it should start coming out like a river and a spread. And you usually work by yourself or sometimes you have people come with you? Most of the time, listen, I usually, I used to bring this guy.

I work by myself most of the time because I know how to deal with the stuff. I don't like to be like, hey, man, you know, you got to do this. and then they don't know what the hell to do. Most of the people that I hire sometimes, they like, yeah, I know how to do the work. And then once they show up to work and you ask them for something, they don't know a damn thing.

So I used to have a friend of mine, not a friend of mine kind of, it was this dude. He was a fat fuck. Yeah. And we always got to go under the houses. And I'm like, and he's always like,

I won't be able to fit there, man. And I say then I got no use for you. You know, we got to go under the house, you know. And he still wanted to some money from the thing? Yeah, so, but one time we went under this house. There was probably four feet. The foundation was four feet high. And he was able to fit in that one.

I was like, yeah, you know. With a bunch of shit all over him. He was able to fit there. We opened a sewer line and the stuff just came out flying. I just rode to the other side because we got to crawl there. We got no room. So I got to, he's too slow. He couldn't roll.

Oh, so he just, everything just started coming on him, you know? And let me ask you a question. Let's say you were in a situation like that, and the guy's reaction, they open their mouth, and they're like, and he's trying to eat it. Would you continue working with him, or you'd be like, I think we're going to have to, you know. I think that'll be his own choice.

I mean, if he works good, if he likes to eat shit, I don't care. Long time I do it, you know. Probably, I'll probably. But he starts lying to you after because, no, no, you saw stuff wrong, you know. If I did that, it was an accident. And he's saying this to you denying it, and he's like licking his lips at the same time. It was an accident.

I just don't go wash his mouth and come back to work, I guess. I don't know. Okay. So you will continue working with something like that. I'm a very easy guy, you know? When I don't mess with my work and we're still making money, he can eat all the shit he wants. You'd rather work with somebody like that than a fat guy who can't fit under the house? Uh, probably, man.

Yeah, I completely agree. Believe it or not, these right guy sometimes I told him, hey, hold those, um, grab the channel, lads, hold the pipe. I mean, this guy was so obviously, it was probably like 360. Wow. How tall was he? probably like 5-5. Oh, wow. Like my height.

So he's like kind of, he's just a circle. Literally, he's more like, he's more wider than taller, man. You know what I mean? So anyways, he, um, horrible. I told him to hold the pipe with the channel laks because I was going to cut it with the salsa. And believe it or not, we laying back there and I'm about to cut the pipe and this guy started snoring. He was sleeping? It was he snored just like that.

Like his, his air got cut off from his. Probably almost died. He's probably having a stroke. He wasn't saying, no. No, it was a common thing to do after I knew him. He holding the channel lacks in the pipe, and he's laying back. And I'm like, hey, dude, tie that up. And then he's, oh, then he, he probably saves his life.

He loses his grip and the channel lacks falls right into, in his forehead. Then he wakes up, and he's like, I'm sorry, man. So I'm like, I can deal with you no more, man. You're going to get killed or you're going to get me in throw. I'm going to end up in jail working with you, you know? Yeah. And let me ask you. You have an accent. I imagine you were not born in America.

I was born in the United States, but I went down south. My parents moved down south for probably, it was about eight, yeah, 10 years. When you were about 10 years old? No, I came back when I was 12 back again. And I moved all the way up to Michigan State. But you were born here? Yeah, okay. Yeah.

Because I know a lot of maybe not per se illegal workers do work like this, plumbing, because they can't maybe get a job or go to a college because of the restrictions with something like that. So they have to go into work like this. No, that is a thing. It's many people, but believe it or not, those guys make probably more money than those people that go to college or whatever. Because plumbing is a dirty job. It's not just everybody wants to do the type of job, you know. It's very stressful.

You've got to be able to fit on very tight spaces, the heat. Well, think about it like this. A plumber will make way more money than somebody who goes. goes to college, even at Harvard for computer science, if I go and I kill that guy. Probably. Then he'll make no money. No, probably not, not that.

I'm talking about the average people like they go to be an accounting or to radiology or whatever stuff. Little professionals. Well, even those guys will make more than a dead computer scientist. Plumbers can make up to like 150,000 a year, you know. I don't make that much. I work only with reference. I'm not advertised.

I don't need to. They keep me busy as it is, you know? I don't know. I can do pretty good sometimes. Some years. Like around 100,000 or so? I can get close to that. I mean, that's really good money.

That's definitely more than average. Yeah, no, but that's because I work for myself. I don't, I don't work for anybody. Do you own company? Or is this kind of an independent contractor? I'm a self-contractor. Okay, yeah. That makes sense.

But like you say, yeah, there's a lot of people up there. They were this type of jobs, and there's a lot of them that are not, what you call them, they don't have a status, you know? Yeah. But they still work. But that's who I try to hire, because then if I don't like the job they do or I'm just in a bad mood, like I didn't sleep for exactly eight hours,

I'll just start threatening to call the police. Yeah, maybe you want to call anything else, I don't know. I said, I didn't really like that job you did, you know. If you don't get out of my house, I'm going to have to call ice. Yeah. People does that, believe it or not. Yeah, I do that. Oh, okay.

You do that. Okay. But only if I slept bad. Okay, well, I don't know. If I slept good, I'll actually give them a tip. Okay. But if I slept bad, it's like, you have to take the frustration out on somebody. I guess so.

How's karma treating you? It's good. Okay. I would say that because it's impossible that it'll get me back in the same way because I was born here like you. So I couldn't do that on you. So actually, if I had clogged my toilet or something like that and I called you, my first question would probably be if you're illegal. Right.

Maybe that's the way you look at. A lot of people appreciate that. some people. Hey, it's all kinds of people. Hey, I don't have an issue with it as long as I slept. Well, and that's like most days. I try to make sure I sleep well. And you were born here too? Yeah, in Los Angeles.

You also have an accent. So do you, but we're both born here. I know, but what's your background accent? German. German? Yeah. You are like a fully German? Mm-hmm.

Oh, okay, okay. Sound a little German, I guess. Yeah. I can say that. Yeah. If abortion is in murder, then why would it be considered a quadruple if I killed four people in the, middle of the street because the bird told me to do it.

What? Okay, if... Say it again. If abortion isn't... Then why would it be considered a quadruple... If I killed four people in the middle of the street because of the bird told me to do it? Well, I don't know. It depends how people will look at it, you know. Well, it's like, hey, you know, it's not a baby yet,

even though it's like eight months old and it has a brain, but then I go and I use my car or an axe or... a hatchet, which is a different type of axe, and I get four people in the middle of the street. All of a sudden, I'm going to jail for four people. What if I argued that they weren't humans yet? Yeah, I don't even know what I'm talking about. That argument doesn't make much sense. That fucking bird that I hate.

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So I figure once the seed goes in through the ovarian. Now you didn't abort them, you're saying. I wasn't raised with those principles. Do you ever regret it? No, I never abort anybody. No, I'm saying, do you ever regret not aborting your kids? They piss you off? No, no, no.

You know how I could have fucking stopped you right there to 19 years ago? Believe me, I'll piss you out sometimes, but I didn't think that far. I wouldn't, no, you know, kids are beautiful. You have any kids? No, I don't. But I think if I do, I believe, and you know, maybe I'll change my mind one day if I'm a parent, but I believe in extremely late stage abortions. Well, you have the right to think.

Because if you're the parent and you decide 10 years down the line that you don't like them and that you didn't raise them well, I think you should have the right to kill them. Well, that'd be your own fault if you don't raise them well. So, you know, it's... Okay. How about if you didn't raise them well and just... Just yourself. Well, okay, but that's assuming that it's your fault.

You could absolutely just have like a... a crazy lunatic come out. There's nothing you can do sometimes. Sometimes it'll just come out artistic and it is what it is. And they'll want to eat mice. You know what I'm talking about? Mm-hmm.

Yeah. So what I'm saying? I don't know. I guess from my point of view, I respect life that way. Who do you think built the pyramids? I don't know. There's a lot of theories up there.

I think humans did. I heard a new one that I liked a lot, a new theory. Which one is a number? I heard it was hir. Oh, yeah? Yeah. How he did that?

He wasn't born yet. Because you know that they say he killed himself. Okay. What if he actually, but, you know, there's not really any hard evidence. A lot of people think he actually fled to Argentina. What if he actually had a time machine? Who knows, man? Or maybe he reincarnated?

Yeah, is it Apple. Do you believe in reincarnation? Because the Egyptians used to. Yeah, I don't know. I don't believe that. Maybe there was a pharaoh back then, you know? He went back. reincarnated in the past.

Okay. Yeah, well, something like that. But think about it like this. If you believe that aliens exist and they could come here and build the pyramids, then it's not that far off from believing that you could use some sort of time travel technology. In which case, maybe. Could be. Maybe he built the pyramids.

Maybe, you know, have you seen ancient aliens? What? Ancient aliens. Ancient alien? Aliens. aliens. Oh, aliens. Extraterrestrial.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's a show. They shows all kinds of stuff like that. I don't think I've seen that show. I saw a couple times and it shows the pyramids where people are. Is it on the history channel? I think it's a, yeah, history channel. Those guys are fucking nuts on the history channel.

Well, I was just wonder because they got a lot of theories over there. I was like, I remember I was six years old and the history channel was on, and that's why I'm so crazy now. Okay, yeah. It really fucked me up. You said, well, you got your hair like that? Yeah. You know the guy from now from...

That's like the first thing you messed up. Yeah, because the guy, the host for the show. Oh, he looks like this? It kind of looks like you. But let's say you in the young version. I'm the younger version of the ancient aliens guy. Just the looks. Just a little big in the face, man.

Not much. It's not a big deal. It's a little bit different. No, just a little bit in the, you know, in the looks. Right, I understand. Hey, guys, sorry for the interruption. I have to let you know that today's episode is sponsored by Quo. Running a business means you're always,

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Go to Quo.com slash maton. You can try Quo for free today and get 20% off your first six months when you go to Quo.com slash maton. Quo dot com slash maton. Thank you to Quo for sponsoring today's episode. Would you hire a doctor whose legal name is Dr. Rip your Miniscus off? That word is tricky. Dr. Rip your meniskees off. I don't know. That sounds too weird to hire him.

Yeah? Maybe he can be some type of pachshile or something. I don't know. You say that... Probably somebody whose parents watch too much of the history channel. So you think that somebody's name could end up putting them down the path to become a pachshile? Well, a name means a lot. You know, if you're a parent, you have to make sure that you give your child

a name that means something, actually positive. I'm thinking about if I ever had a son I would name him SpongeBob. Really? Okay. Well, he'll enjoy it while he's a kid but while he's older. Up until like, yeah, exactly.

Up until like seven years old, he'll be the coolest kid ever and then past seven years old, especially from like eight to 14, he'll be the biggest loser. So he'll go through a major hardship. He'll have to get really hardened as a person.

and by the time he's 15, he's either going to be extremely tough mentally or he'll be dead probably. Probably in these days, more likely, he probably commits... Too many bullying up there in the, you know, social networks and... Yeah, but then it's like, you know what?

I tried. Would you rather have an average son or 10% chance at a complete lunatic who doesn't experience any emotions because his name is SpongeBob? I will say take him out of...

North America for a while, like I did. I told you I went down so my parents bring me back. I learned a lot of stuff down there. It toughed me up a little bit. No, no, by a life experience, you know, because it's different. You want to tough them up? Bring them down.

Yeah, but look, you turned out to be a productive person. Like, you're fixing people's pipe so the whole city isn't filled with shit. I'm trying to name my kid SpongeBob so he either ends up d' like a complete lunatic p. Okay. Can you imagine that? What more, you're talking about somebody's name? leading them down to become a p.

What name is more likely to lead them down that line than SpongeBob? I guess so, man. Would you let your kid hang out with somebody named SpongeBob? That'd probably be cool. It'd be funny, though. What's it got to do with the doctor's name? The doctor's name was Dr. Ripier and Maniscus off. Okay, what's it got to do with the ligaments?

So that's kind of a little scary. That's what I was saying. It sounds scary. I mean, I don't think he'll be, I mean, Dr. Coworkin was real. You know? What did you say? Doctor what? Kavorkin.

Michigan doctor. He was, he's the one that started, he's the one that started to do, how do you say, voluntarily for people that wanted a day. Oh, he's doing, he did it out of, out of, assisted, assisted, assisted, yeah, assistant and he didn't give his shit with the court's thing. He just did it. My name is Peter Parker, but I'm also Spider-Man. This July.

You're faced with a threat. I can be anyone. The world may have forgotten Peter Parker. I'm just a neighbor. Friendly neighbor. But he hasn't forgotten them. Sometimes Spider-Man has to do the hard thing. That's my responsibility.

Dr. Banner? I didn't know you could get that big. Spider-Man, brand-new day. In theaters, July 31st. Throw him in jail anyways after so many old, you know. Well, then he's kind of an idiot, I think, right? If he ended up going to jail for it? Yeah, well, he was trying to practice.

something, let's say if you were like with a deadly disease, like really bad, stage like AIDS. Like AIDS. Or it's doing tremendous pain. Yeah. I don't know if I want to live like that. I don't even think I want anybody, you know, wiping my ass and stuff like that. But you know, in Europe, there's some places where you can do that.

In like, I think Switzerland maybe or countries they can, you get to do it legally. Yeah. I think it's something about now, but back then it was the 90s. It was totally illegal. Oh, this was in the 90s? Yeah. in the 90s. You never heard Dr. Kaborkin.

It's actually a movie made about him. Allocino's in it. Interesting. I'll watch it, but no, I haven't heard of him. I mean, if you're in the 90s, it's way before I was born. Yeah, it was totally illegal. Now it's legal in certain countries in South America. Yeah.

And like you say, I think Sweden, like you say, yeah. I think in South America, it's just legal people, isn't it? It seems like it in these days. Yeah. I don't think you need to be an old guy with a disease. But it's a lot of propaganda, too. Is it? But it's like everywhere you go,

Everywhere you go. I heard it's a delicacy over there in like Brazil to eat somebody's brain while they're still alive. Probably some cannibals up there. I mean, the Amazons are down there. That's what I'm saying. You know, you never know. But they have funny birds with lots of colors. Yeah.

So it's a tradeoff. Everywhere you go right now is, you don't have to go too far. You go to the big part of L.A. Yeah. And, you know, you can walk around there at a certain time. You know, you won't come out of there, you know. As you said, if you go to the black part of L.A., you're screwed. I'm talking about areas where it's more high crime.

I'm not specifically saying any district, but there is some places that are more, you know. I know what you're talking about, you know. I'm saying I live all over the place. But I know, like, if you got called into just some plumbing and Compton, you're going to be like, goodbye black, beep, beep, beep. Well, if they have the money and pay me up front, I'll probably do the job. I have to get paid up front.

Yeah, but that's very unlikely. I have done some work down there. I just want to make sure that I get paid up front. And also, I make sure it's daylight. Yeah. That's all. Yeah, but see, you're a smart guy. You're pragmatic with your racism.

You see what I'm saying? I don't know about racism, but on precaution, I've been all over the world when I was living in Mexico, and they tell you, just go down the road over there and take a left, and then it's like, you know you're going into a trap. Then you're in Brazil. They're going to probably kidnap you or something.

I feel a foreigner down there. When I went down there, I was like a foreigner because I am Mexican, but they were treating me like I wasn't. Oh, really? After I been there for a few years, then, of course, you know. So the first language you spoke, was it English or Spanish? Spanish. My parents don't speak English.

Let me get my plunger. Thank you. Appreciate it. You know how to use this thing? During World War II, they literally built a ship out of concrete. Its whole job was pumping out like a thousand gallons of ice cream every day and sailing around the Pacific handing out to all the smaller Navy ships. Well, if the military suddenly needs that much fucking ice cream,

they also need a ton of dairy, so the government starts encouraging people to start becoming dairy farmers. The war ends, the man falls off, and now all these dairy farmers are about to go broke. The government's basically like, fuck it. We'll keep buying the milk. Now they're just sitting on all this milk with nowhere to store it. So somebody goes, why don't we just make it into cheese?

It'll last longer. They'll shove hundreds of millions of pounds into a cave outside Springfield, Missouri. By the time Reagan takes office, there's like 700 million pounds of cheese sitting there. Reagan wants to get rid of it and the public's like, you basically took our tax money and turned it into cheese. The least you can do is give us the fucking cheese. So they start handing it out to the poor people and the elderly. and that's why people call it government chiefs.

What the hell are you talking about? Government chiefs. Where's your son? He locked up. We're at. Robeson County. No, he isn't. My son in jail, Robson County.

What the fuck are you talking about that? Sir, do you know who you're talking to? Step out of the vehicle. He's going to take this. You're going to get his sort out. You know who I am? I'm Jerry Lee Red Jr. This is my property.

Okay. What are we here for? Jerry Redd. I am Jerry Rid. Turn around and put your hands behind your back. The deputy detained Jerry Litt Jr. While the officer check on the warrant again, they realized they got the wrong guy.

He might be looking for my nephew. He in Winchester, Tennessee. Date of birth, 1996. No, I was born in 72. Just looking. What? The FBI already said LeBron wasn't involved. They cleared him.

I know players today get four random drug tests every season. And that's why they just... Why don't you say you? What's LeBron got to do with toilet stuff? Just wondering. The FBI already said LeBron wasn't involved. They cleared him. I know players today get four random drug tests every season.

And that's been the case since 2004. My question is, what about the guys from the 80s and 90s? Back then, they basically got tested once, October 1st. So if you wanted to inject something on October 2nd, you had the rest of the year to do whatever the fuck you want. wanted. So why does nobody ever question that era? These dudes played all 82 games, barely had medical staffs, never seemed to roll an ankle all the motherfuckers didn't even get a flu. Half of them were balled by like 25. We're really supposed to believe that in the middle of a steroid

era where every major sport had problems that NBA was somehow the one lead where everybody was completely clean. What? I guess. Do you understand that? I'm not familiar with none of the stuff, but... What did he say? I don't even know how to wrong. I don't really understand any of that. Me neither, man. So what do you think? What was he talking about there? I have absolutely no idea.

I don't know if those things he was talking about were related or what. I don't know. Got me there. Well, whatever. Yeah, I don't know. That just... He just came out of the blue, huh? Talking complete fucking bullshit.

I guess there's people like that. They just talk. They were like talking. I guess so. Yeah. So, man. Funny guy, though. Do you think it would be a good idea to give a dog a bunch of Benadryl so he can meet the hot man?

How about if he die? Okay, well, with the intention of him not dying. Well, you say a bunch of Benadryl. Enough for him to meet the Hatman, but without dying. What do you think? Do you know the Hatman? No, I'm not familiar with. It said that if you take a bunch of Benadryl, you will meet him.

Have you tried? I haven't because I'm scared. I don't want to meet him. Well, I don't know who it is either. Maybe I don't want to meet or mirror. Well, it's kind of like a mythical figure that you'll see in like kind of your nightmares if you... Like e-e-eat-eas?

Yeah, sort of, but with better drill. So that's why you're not supposed to take too much. Yeah, well, this stuff put you like to sleep and drowsy. I haven't before. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. And then you meet the hat man if you take too much. I don't know who the hat man is, but... Well, then you haven't taken enough.

But what about a dog? A dog really. would know who the hot man is. How will he know that? The dog? Yeah. The dog's probably just going to have a seizure. Probably.

I don't know, man. We should probably... Well, I don't know if you're interested in on this, but we should go to like a different country where the laws are just either non-existent or not enforced, and we should videotape this. Put it on Twitter. All countries got laws, so unless you go to the jungle

or the border somewhere, you can even do it here. Not true. If you do it here, you're way more likely to get arrested than if you do it in the black part of South Africa. Why? Why the black part of South Africa? Well, because it's white parts of South Africa. Yeah, well, most of it's white, I think. Yeah, well, some parts, but some parts not.

Definitely there's some parts that are not. Most of them, a lot of them are, you know. And why you're saying? I don't know. They show a lot of... black parts when Mandela was a president. Yeah. But other than that, you know, even rugby, you know.

They should sell... Ice cream of him. Ice cream. That'd make a lot of money. Mandela ice cream? They should start selling like Martin Luther King ice cream. And Mandela ice cream. Yeah, so all of like the white people who feel bad and feel like they did something wrong for being white, they'll probably be more likely to buy that ice cream.

How about Michael Jackson ice cream? Because he's both. He's just popular. Yeah, but he turned white. I think you're missing my point, but yeah, I think also Michael Jackson one would sell well. They usually just just do SpongeBob. He'd be closer to ice cream. That's a good point.

He'll be melting too, so actually he would be a perfect ice cream. Probably. That's what I was trying to say. Yeah. I thought you just meant the white part. I get what you're saying. Do you ever get confused when you're mining and think that the Lappis-Lazuli are diamonds? What?

Lapea what? Lapozuli. You're mining and you see like a blue ore and you're like, yeah, I found diamonds and then you go up to it and ends up just being more Lappice Lozuli and it's like you already had some and anyways you only need three pieces to fully enchant your items so you didn't really need any more of it. I thought I found some diamonds before but they was and I was very disappointed. It was Lappice Lazzuli?

I don't know what that is. So what was it did you found when you thought it was diamonds and I found some stones and I thought they were diamonds. Oh, you just found stones? They looked diamonds. Yeah, they look like diamonds. Was this in a ravine or did you end up like going into a cave? And no, they weren't.

So, but where do, I'm saying, did you find these in a ravine, like one of those open mines where you jump into the puddle on the bottom? I actually find them in the bathroom. Oh, yeah. See, that's what I'm saying. You're stealing stuff from a guy's bathroom. No, they weren't the trap. They weren't the sink trap. You know, so I'm like.

Well, yeah, probably because the guy dropped them down there. Yeah, but believe it or not, this was in, you know, Olympus Mount. Yeah. Yeah. That was in one of those big houses over there. So I thought it was real diamonds. And I'm like, I'm not saying shit. You know, because if they're there, you know, so I just, I didn't say nothing.

Listen, this is what I was telling you to do. We were like 30 minutes ago. We were talking about this. And I'm like, you should steal shit out of people since. Yeah, but that was. And you're like, no, no, I wouldn't do that. And now you're like, when I'm on Olympian Mountain on a big house. And I see little diamond stones in it.

I'm going to take them and not say shit. It's like, I'm not judging. I just told you to do it. It's a little different because they weren't in the counter. sign and I'm like oh shit they weren't this little in the sewer already yeah but who put there I mean where for the sewer from where from the sink the bathroom you have a little more plausible deniability but if you're talking about this in like a a moral way it's probably the same thing which to me is completely fine yeah it could be yeah it could be but I think they were gone

already and I thought these people probably multi-millionaires they ain't gonna miss this crap and they are right I'm not I'm not judging you I would have stolen it if I thought they were wrong It's a running disorder. I was lost to them already, you know. And then you checked it out, and they were just worse than nothing? And by the way, by the way, I'm glad I took them because I did so many jobs for this lady. And in the end of the day, man, she scanned me with my money too. Oh, really?

Why? What had happened at the end of it? Well, we make an agreement of certain amount. And, you know, that was not in the end of the day. I was there for a couple weeks working in all her big ass house. And she came out and scanned me with my money. How much did she steal? literally like around $3,800.

$3,800, so a ton of money. Well, for me it is. Maybe not for them, but for me, $3,800 is a lot of money. Did you end up getting it or no? No, I only got $1,200 out of it, because I charge her $5,000. Oh, so she's like, she come with all kinds of excuses, and I'm like, good thing I keep the diamonds. But they weren't even worth anything. No, at the moment, in the moment, I thought good thing I keep the diamonds, but they were fake.

So at the end of it you lost 3,800. Yes, sir. I feel like you both in that situation deserved to lose like five grand. You guys were both justifiably. Sheeming each other, I guess, I don't know. And then everybody loses. Her pipes are probably fucked up

because you didn't want to do a good job for the... No, I did a great job. I do great job. Oh, because she scammed you after it was all done. Yeah, that's what I meant. So she actually succeeded in the scam. You were the real... Yeah, I was trying to scamme without me knowing,

and then I said, I'll keep the diamonds. Okay, I understand. And the diamonds were shit, so I... I lost everything. So, yeah. So, yeah, like you say, she didn't want to. You got the upper hand there. Yeah.

If you were cleaning someone's toilet because it was clogged, and then the plunger came out and it had a logneck in it, what would you do? A long neck in it, like a what, like a thorough long neck or something? No, my next guest, long neck, he's this really skinny guy. He's like, he's this condensed guy, so he could probably fit inside that small hole in the toilet. So you're using in the hole in the plunger too. Yeah, yeah, he comes out of that.

Got crap on it? Oh, no. Spider. Hey, you got to use this more often. That's a disgust. That's not mine. That you brought that. Spider web in it.

That's disgusting. It's probably shit. It's a shit spider. Okay. Survives biting shit. I probably got to clean it afterwards. Yeah. Yeah, but if I have a, what, like a long neck, skinny like that, like him right there?

Way, way, skinier than him. Oh, I don't know. Like a third of his eyes. I'll just jenk him out of there by his ears or something, you know? Hey, y'all's Kelly Clarkson with Wayfair. Ever order furniture online and wonder what if? Like, what if it doesn't hold up? That sofa was four days old.

You should have ordered from Wayfair. With Wayfair, there's no what if. Just style you love and quality you can trust. Visit Wayfair.ca. Wayfair, every style, every home.