The Matan Show - Matan & Pete Holmes Debate Religion, The Iraq War

Episode Date: March 23, 2025

Hello everybody, welcome back to the podcast. For today's guest, we have Pete Holmes. Welcome in. And for today's co-host, we have Varo Flooring. Welcome in, Varo Flooring. You can sit here in the middle. It's wet, so can I clean that up? I'll clean it for you. You don't have to. I got it for you. Welcome in, my manager, Varo Flooring. Please, to the podcast.

The seat is wet. No, it's not. It's just a little happy for you to be here. That's vagina. No, he's excited, this chair here. The seats should be dry. It's dry. We just cleaned it. Well, yeah.

You cleaned it with water, it looks like. Yeah. It's still wet. You want to sit in a dirty chair? I'd like a dry chair. Is that okay? No. You want to swap? No.

Why not? I'm already sitting. You don't want to sit on a clean chair? Well, I just cleaned this one. It would just be inconvenient. You don't want to sit on the freshest, cleanest chair we have. I would if I had to pick between these two, but considering I'm already sitting, I will have to pass. This chair doesn't work for you?

No, it's too wet. Should I dry it off? Yeah, that's why I got the towel. There's no towel here. There's a blue dish towel. No, no, nothing. Now there's a little bit less, does that work? Fewer.

Yeah, well fewer, well less, but you know. Are we done? I just saw Stomp. What? Have you seen Stomp? No. Okay. Is that like the green guy? Stomp?

That's the big green guy? Hulk? No, the animated one. Stomp? Yeah. Yeah, Stomp. So please, in case anybody doesn't know you, please just introduce yourself.

Tell them a little bit about. My name is Ari Shafir. That's not true. I already had him on. He's a... I saw an interesting comment. Somebody said if you drew him in Germany, you'd go to jail for a hate crime.

Which is true. I'm sorry, that's a very funny joke. I'm not sorry. That's not mine, by the way. It's not ours. We're just laughing at a comment. No, I listened to the Ari Shaffir episode on the way in. Of your episode, of your podcast.

Yeah. You want me to use the mic oh yeah please pull the mic closer to you hello you listened to that episode while coming in here i did yes so now in case anybody doesn't know you please introduce yourself yes my name is pete holmes i'm a comedian and give him a little more info than that. Well, I'm a comedian. I saw Stomp recently. You look like him. You're like a tall guy. You look like the... Thor? No. Like that green guy in the movie.

Hulk? No. The animated one. Shrek! Yeah, that's the one. Shrek. That's the one. Shrek. That's the one you just saw? No, no. Stomp is a show where they bang and boom, boom, boom on plates and chairs.

What we were doing was kind of like Stomp. Well, you were cleaning. I was just mocking you. Oh, that was mockery? Yeah, me and him were making a joke on you. A joke on me. Yeah, it's an interesting philosophical question as to whether or not mockery was mockery? Yeah, me and him were making a joke on you. A joke on me. Yeah. It's an interesting philosophical question as to whether or not mockery is mockery.

Are you a big fan of philosophy? No. Yeah, I hate philosophy. Yeah, and yet here we are. This isn't philosophy. I was offered today to do a podcast with a philosopher instead of you, but I turned him down. Good for you. Who were they?

It was the top philosopher at UC Berkeley. The top philosopher at UC Berkeley? Yes. I mean, I don't know what else to say. I have a podcast myself. Okay, so let's start with the question. Yeah, sure. That's the other fun.

I mean, at this point, it's kind of on topic. We might as well bring in the philosopher from UC Berkeley, please. Is he here? Yeah, we brought him here, actually, to talk with you. Oh, good. Please bring in in the philosopher from UC Berkeley, please. Is he here? Yeah, we brought him here, actually, to talk with you. Oh, good. Please bring in the top philosopher from UC Berkeley. Does he say he's the top philosopher?

No, I just came up with that. Don't scratch the void. Oh, he needs you to move over a little bit. Alright, I'll move this way. Yeah, move that way so you can have the mic. I don't really care to have him with real audio. Yeah, yeah, top, top.

That's the top philosopher from UC Berkeley. Please sit down. Hello. Get in there. Are you asking for help or offering help? Why do you say that? Because his chest says help on it. For those of you just tuning in on audio,

a man... No, I don't upload it on audio. I listen to it on audio. How is that? It was fine. Some of the gags, I didn't know what was happening. Yeah, but how are you... I don't upload it to just like audio platform.

You do. That is the first time I'm hearing about it. That must be a scammer. It's called the Matan, Matan. Matan. See, that's not real. Settlers of Matan. Settlers are often difficult, especially about the future.

There you go. That's a philosophy right there. That's a good philosopher. Did you hear what he said? Sandwiches are often difficult, especially about the future. There you go. That's a philosophy right there. That's a good philosopher. Did you hear what he said? Sandwiches are often difficult. He said predictions are often difficult, especially about the future. Predictions are often difficult, especially about the future. I like that.

I do. I told you. I could have had him on today, but I would have rather not. But you are sort of having him on. Yeah, but more is like a joke on him and a joke on you too. But you know what I mean? Let's move on. It's very intense.

If you were controlling the train, would you run over five regular people or 30 Jews? I'd go with the five, the smaller number. And why is that? Well, that's just basic. I could hear your hair kind of sizzle. Do that again. the smaller number. And why is that? Well, that's just basic. I could hear your hair kind of sizzle. Do that again. It is the smaller number,

but also you have to consider that it's... But you're Jewish, Matan. No, no, I'm not. Yes, you are. I'm a former Jew. You can't. It's a heritage. No, it's not. I'm not Jewish.

I'm sorry, but that's a very funny bit. I think gay marriage should be between a man and a woman. That's a philosopher. You see now why I didn't want to have him on? Yes. Gay marriage should be between a man and a woman. I agree. Yes.

But can I ask you a question? Who would you choose to save? Five regular people or 30 pit bulls? Wait, on the train tracks is now 30 dogs? 30 pit bulls. The artist pit bull? No, 30 dogs with four legs or five regular people. I'm going to kill the dogs there, yeah.

So then how does that not equate to picking the 30 Jews? You're right. It's not just numbers. It's considering, well, it's actually, this guy will have something good to say about this, a hierarchy of consciousness. Yeah, it goes regular people, white people, regular people, dogs, dogs, then pit bulls.

What is white is always popular, and what is popular is never right. Sorry, we were getting the hierarchy of consciousness. Yeah, I would say at the bottom is like people with evil in their heart, but you wanted to save them instead. Who are the evil? Don't make me say it. But you're Jewish.

I am not Jewish. I used to be evil. I'm a former evil. But your name is Hebrew. No, it's not. No, it's not. It is. That's even worse. First I'm Jewish, now I'm a Hebrew. But your name means gift is Hebrew. No, it's not. No, it's not. It is. That's even worse. First I'm Jewish, now I'm a Hebrew. But your name means gift in Hebrew. Are you Jewish?

How do you know these things? Because it was on the Ari Shaffir episode. Oh, he did mention that. Motherfucker, man. And he probably went to Yeshiva. Yeah, he did also mention that.

Okay, well, I guess we have different philosophy on this. Who would you, would you run over five people i'd run over 30 jews then going on the regular train track just that has nothing on it i'd risk the lives of the normal passengers to go on the track with the jews okay do you understand what i'm saying i think so now we're switching we're switching.

We're not switching. I'm just giving you how far I'd go. Do you think the United States could beat Mexico in a war? Beat or be? Beat. Be? Beat. Could they be? Could they beat them?

Beat them? Yeah. Could the United States beat Mexico in a war? I've never considered Mexico's... I played Red Dead Redemption briefly. Is that in Mexico? Yeah, there's a part in Mexico. That's in the first game, yeah? Yeah, in the first one. But the second one, though,

what does that have to do with the question, though? You're like from the game Borderlands. That's a Borderlands? Oh. That's like a compliment, though. though? You're like from the game Borderlands. That's a borderland? Oh. That's like a compliment, though. There was a, he's the psycho? Yeah. Yeah, I guess so.

They should have hired him. Maybe the movie would have done better. The movie did not do well. Yeah. Guy I know was in it. Guy you know? Yeah. Jack Black?

No, Bobby Lee was in the movie. Oh, was he? You didn't know that? No. Yeah, he got like a 0% on Rotten Tomatoes. I don't know if that was because of him. I didn't watch it, of course, but... I wonder if Bobby's seen it.

I would imagine that he... They tried to make him watch it, but he probably left in the middle of it. It did not do well. Well, it was a movie about a video game that was popular 10 years ago. That's part of the problem. Well, they also have done other ones that do well. Well, it was a movie about a video game that was popular 10 years ago. That's part of the problem. Well, they also have done other ones that did well.

That one was just really bad, I think. Yeah. Well, I didn't see it. Anyways, back to the Mexico question. Yeah. I think America, the United States, is a military superpower. They could probably win against Mexico. Because they're not smart enough?

No, I just think I'm just basing it on military prowess. But why is the Mexicans' military prowess worse? Because they're dumber? No, I think it's just like a baseball team. Are the Yankees better than the Padres? I think they have much bigger budgets. The Yankees are from

New York, where the United States started. The true white-blooded Americans, that's why they're the best. I... But I was saying the Yankees have more money, so they buy better players. Yeah, because they're smarter, because there aren't certain phenotypes

more intelligent than others. Phenotypes? Yeah. What is a phenotype? It's like a character trait, like somebody's skin color or eyes. But in this case, I'm talking about skin color. I don't think that's true. Yes, it is.

I mean, you don't have to lie about it. Like if I passed you on the street, I'd be like, that's a smart guy. Just because of my color? That, yeah. I think that might, yeah. That's going to be an unreliable predictor. You have blue eyes, too?

These are unreliable predictors. You have blonde hair, blue eyes, and you're white. So you'd think I'd be a pretty snazzy guy intellectually? I don't know about that. You don't agree with me? You think that's not the case? Yeah, I don't

think so. Why is that? I don't think that's how reality works. But that's how it works when they take IQ tests. You mean the data shows us? Yeah. My data. You're conducting these? I've done my

own research. I would love to see you just kind of rounding people up for IQ tests. I'd love to round people up. Unfortunately, I'm not allowed to do that yet. Yeah. Round people up. Unfortunately, I'm not allowed to do that yet. Yeah.

But me and people looking like you, I guess not you, are working on it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. People who look like me have done some rounding up. There's some shame in the past for sure. There's no shame in that. If my grandmother was trying to get onto my property Without a warrant Can I shoot her? Yes

That's why that That's smart I like it Yeah definitely I think What's she doing? And it was dark No I know You knew it was her?

It's the middle of the day You knew it was her? And she just I'm living on a farm And she just crossed the line And she's like waving hello Oh okay And I'm living on a farm, and she just crossed the line, and she's like waving hello. Oh, okay. And I'm zoomed in with my rifle so I can see her face.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why are you shooting her then? Do you have a problem with that? Shooting to kill. Why are you shooting? The answer is shooting to kill is the funniest response as to why. Well, that's why I'm doing it, yeah. I'm shooting to kill is why. response as to why i'm doing it yeah i'm shooting to kill is why not because you have an issue with your grandmother oh well there's no

motive that would be my motive but you asked why i'm shooting yeah yeah but like why are you yeah well she came on my property i didn't i don't know on her there i didn't care you didn't care it's like asking some guy why they shoot birds. It's just kind of fun. Right. For the thrill of it. Yeah. You should sell. Does your podcast sell merch? Not yet. I don't have any sources of income besides

one advertiser who I constantly insult. Who is that? I'm not going to give them airtime on the video. Okay. Only during their one minute exactly one minute sponsor segment. Exactly one minute? I'm not going to give them airtime on the video. Okay. Only during their one minute, exactly one minute sponsor segment. Exactly one minute? I don't even give them an extra frame. Hey guys, sorry for the interruption.

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proof and it's a great material as As I already mentioned, Sheath sent me some of their products, and as I didn't mention, Sheath is an underwear company. Something you should also be using Sheath for is to wipe your nose. Thanks to Sheath for sponsoring today's episode, and if you want to get some for yourself, go to Sheath.com. That's S-H-E-A-T-H.com, and use code MATAN, M-A-T-A-N, to get 20% off your order. That's sheath.com.

I like that. That's like the grandma on your farm level. Yeah, I'm really strict about it. I'll be reading the line at the end, like use code MATAN, and it will cut in the middle of it if I went over a minute. I like that. I think it's good, too. Unfortunately, I haven't been paid my money

for my last six months of sponsors but they have to pay me is what i'm told i mean that's that's true they i talk really bad about my sponsors and i don't get my money that's smart though it's really it's honest you know i'm not lying to my audience about the sponsor yeah but you know it would be helpful if you were promoting something you actually liked. Yeah, but nothing I like is willing to sponsor me because they have way more than enough principle to not sponsor this. I see. But what is something you like? Guns.

Yeah, I feel like the gun people Might be on board with this I've tried They won't do it I tried to get I forgot What is the The group called Oh the NRA

Yeah I tried to get them as a sponsor That's a good That's a hot one That's hot Yeah but they wouldn't do it Yeah well Any winners Oh you're ripping them up.

That's my manager, Viral Flooring. Yeah. That's all his money that he won. From gambling? No, from my money. He steals my money. Oh, so you have 10 times that much money. No, he gets all my money.

Oh, he gets all your money? Yeah. I don't know if that's a good deal. Yeah, well, it's not even like he's using it for anything. He's wasting it on dollars, year of the dragon scratchers. And then he tore them up. I guess they weren't winners. Or even if they were, I guess it's kind of just to insult me.

Yeah, he wants you to see. Do you think the Holocaust ruined the reputation of cooking people in ovens? That was, you know, that was never going to, you know, have mainstream. Why that? Huh? Why? Murder. Yeah, murder is just never.

Can you lean this way? I don't want to hit you. No, like this way? Murder. Yeah, murder is just never. Can you lean this way? I don't want to hit you. No, like this way? Yeah. Oh, you're going to throw that? No, I did that because there was water on it. He's like an algorithm. He just does what he's seen.

I don't think genocide was ever going to be... Well, that's why he gave it a bad reputation. I think it had a bad reputation before. Before, it would have sounded funny, like I'm going to cook you in an oven. It would have sounded like one of those tales they say about the wolf blowing down the houses. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I mean, though.

It would kind of ruin their reputation. Kick the old witch. Yeah. What's the other sign? okay go on please oh um yes i could have seen Go on, please. Oh, yes. I could have seen... Hansel and Gretel was like the innocent time of kicking oven. Oh, that had to do with an oven, right?

Yeah, they kick her in the oven. There you go. That was probably made actually after the Holocaust. I would wager that was before the Holocaust. That was before? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It could be. You look like somebody who would be in those... Like before the Holocaust. That was before? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It could be. You look like somebody who would be in those, like...

Like a Hansel and Gretel? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you're, you know, true white-blooded. Well, sure. Yeah, I know what you're saying. It's blonde hair and blue eyes. And I do live in a candy.

That's my money right there. Do you want me to get the money? Did you just eat the lottery ticket? Oh, that's every chemical. It's red 40 in there for sure. Oh, yeah. Oh, he put the money away. He saw what was afoot.

That's a smart manager right there. He's very smart. Were you religious growing up? Yes. Are you still religious? No. Are you not scared you'll be burned down to the smallest atom and tortured for eternity now? No, of course, that's baked in there.

You're going to, though. I'm asking if you're scared. Oh, you think so? Oh, that's the foregone conclusion you're saying. Am I worried about that? That in there. You're going to though. I'm asking you Oh, you think so? Oh, that's the foregone conclusion you're saying. That's my conclusion I've come to, yeah, about you. About me specifically. I don't worry about it,

no. Why not? I mean It just sounds too much like something we would have made up. Nope. No, you got it. Nope, that's what's coming for you. You can't change your mind once you're there. That's the thing. Well, if you could, everyone would, right?

Yeah, but you're not going to be able to. That's why I'm a former Jew. And what are you now? This is your interview. Yeah, but aren't you, if I'm going to be murdered and tortured in hell, aren't you worried that that will happen to you? Your interview? I don't have to answer anything here. Please continue.

Oh, yes. So, no, I don't worry about it. But, I mean, what is your reaction going to be when you die? Yes. And it's not going to be like sleeping and then waking up where you had a memory of the in-between. You're going to just wake up and being stabbed and stabbed and ripped apart. And then healing, of course, and then...

No. Well, you have to heal so they can keep doing it. No, to the smallest atom. Okay, but then once the atom is disintegrated, they have to... No healing, you'll just go back. There won't be any, like... Yeah, oh, I don't mean a good feeling healing. I mean, like, you'll just...

It'll maybe even be more torturous. It'll be like getting poked and... Yeah. There you go, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what's going to happen to you, piece of shit. So you've been to my church. You're married to Valerie Chaney,, daughter of Dick Cheney.

What is it like being Mr. Cheney's son-in-law? Well, we're always worried about his heart. Why is that? He's had a lot of heart attacks. Well, that's because

he's a hero. He's just scared a little bit. Oh, it's hard to be a hero. And he eats a lot of heart attacks. No, well, that's because he's a hero, you know. He's just scared a little bit. He's scared. Oh, it's hard to be a hero. And he eats a lot of pastries and, you know, cholesterol. Speaking of Dick Cheney, did you support the 2003 invasion of Iraq? I didn't. That was not.

Why is that? You're standing up to your father-in-law now. Why is that funny? Well, it's a point of contention when we see my father-in-law, Dick Cheney. You're saying that as if he's not your father-in-law, like you're laughing at it. Well, my wife's last name is Cheney, C-H-A-N-E-Y. He's C-H-E-N-E-Y. Nice.

Well, yeah, that's the same name. Cheney, Cheney. Cheney, Cheney's the same name. Chaney, Chaney. Chaney, Chaney. How do you pronounce your wife's name? Chaney. Yeah, Dick Chaney. And Dick Chaney. Chaney, Chaney.

That's the same thing. Chaney. You're saying Chaney and Chaney? Chaney. No difference. Chaney. Are you trying to now say there's a one-letter difference in there? Yes.

They added an E or something? No, it's an A. No, it's an A versus an E. Chaney is Dick Chaney, and my wife is Chaney. Chaney. Chaney. Why didn't you support that? Well, you know, it's the old standbys.

No evidence for involvement. Varo Flooring was involved with that. Who was? Varo Flooring. What's his first name? Viral. Viral? Viral and then Flooring. He makes carpets explode.

Viral Flo then flooring. He makes carpets explode. Viral flooring. Yeah. He's the largest individual sole proprietor carpet bomber in the world. Oh, okay. Wow. That's why he was involved with that war. He was a carpet bomber. Oh, okay.

What's the point of being in a relationship if you can't psychologically beat them down until they feel like nothing um companionship and then beating them no no no mutual respect not beating them physically i'm not an advocate oh i didn't think you did mean that i don't think you need to if you get home and your wife is like hi honey how are you doing are you doing? And you go, I was doing good until I had to talk to you, you stupid bitch. Fucking bitch. I like how your lip, you stupid. Yeah, I got angry. I'm getting, you motherfucker. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Tight. Yeah. It's good. Yeah. I liked it a lot. I've been practicing how I'm going to talk to my wife. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No wife now.

No, I'm 17. You're 17 years old? Yeah. Okay. I couldn't get married even if I tried. You're 17 years old? Yeah. Okay. I couldn't get married even if I tried. Oh, yeah, I guess you can't. There's got to be some state where you could get married. I mean, maybe, but I don't think in California.

No, not in California. Unless you're, I guess, gay, they'll probably say it's a hate crime unless you're allowed to. Fucking piece of shit. Gotta get the small lips. I've been practicing the way I'm going to speak to my wife with minorities all my life. That's a very funny line. It's true. I'm sorry to just sort of just kind of call it like I see it, but that's a very funny line.

In my culture, this is respect. Well, to you, this seems like nothing but to me, I need to sell that to buy food since he takes everything. Look at this guy. That's my manager, Var Flooring. Have you met? We met. He said hi to you outside. He did. How was that? He didn't say anything. He gave me a...

I was seated and he was standing and he gave me one of those drinking bird hugs. Oh, that's nice. Yeah, it was nice. I liked it. When I said hi to him today, he gave me a flying elbow. He kind of looks like the guy who's marrying... What's her name? What's the woman on...

Joellen Bede. What's the woman on Only Murders in the Building? I have no idea what that is. That's because you're not 40 and married. Is she sleeping now? He's kind of like groaning, like maybe he's getting a bad blowjob. No, no, no. No? Too dirty?

No. No? Just kind of like, it sounds like sleep sounds. It's not snoring. Yeah, I think he's sleeping though, but he's smiling. But he smiles in his sleep, I guess. Well, you know when people kind of, it's not a snore, but they make sounds like a... It's like that.

Why is it that when you hear an ambulance, you're supposed to pull over, but when you hear police sirens, you're supposed to speed up? Again, that's very funny. Well, what you're really supposed to do with police sirens is pull over as well. That's not true. You put your foot to the gas.

Well, and pray you're in a non-pursue... You thinking about it? You thinking about it? A time? Is this a specific time? Sorry, I don't have a driver's license. I'm just practicing.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm 14. 14? Yeah, I took away a couple years. Okay. Because when I turn 18, people are going to start attacking me for these questions. You think the legal ramifications of them will catch up to you when you're 18? I mean, I was born in like 2001 anyway, so.

Right? No. I've been practicing how I'm going to speak to my wife to minorities. It's very funny. You still on that one? I'm still on it. That was a good line. I mean, it's not, it wouldn't work for me, but for you. That was a good line. It's very funny. You still on that one? I'm still on it. That was a good line. I mean, it's not, it wouldn't work for me, but for you.

That was a good line. It's excellent. I mean, that wasn't prepared? No, that was off the door. You need to write it down. Do you do stand-up? I've done it twice. Well.

I got kicked out both times. When you do your Matan podcast cash raising, don't tell him. No, no. He has to come. He'll sue my raising. Don't tell him. No, no. He has to come. He'll sue my parents. Well, just remember. Actually, he'll sue my parents. He'll put them in jail.

Yeah. You know, there'll be. Well, he already did that. But he'll find other people who I'm friends with or know. And they'll mysteriously, they've committed a tax felony. Oh, OK. It's always the same detective who is at his house

who happens to find out. He looks like, on the show, Dave, his producer. Dave, that's the one with that Jewish guy? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You draw that guy,

it's the same way. You draw that guy, it's the same way. The funny line. Why is it okay when a trans person uses the wrong bathroom, but not okay when I go into the wrong bathroom and try grabbing people while they're peeing? I think it's the latter part. Why is that? Because anybody could claim they're trans

just because I don't want to have to lie about it. So you have an issue with not speaking the truth, but you love grabbing ding-dongs while people are peeing? No, no, I go into the other bathroom. Oh, I pictured the ding-dongs. No, no. I don't know why. When you say grab...

I should have said grope. Yeah. Yeah. It's like Cheney cheney it's like a Trump move really but grab no remember but he said grab not rope grab him yeah you do it without a Trump impression I was gonna do it that's pretty good do it all right can you do that and do that in a say some slurs in there he's doing it again what but he's clearly awake, though.

I mean, he's scratching lotto tickets. He's one of those guys that gets winded scratching lotto tickets. He made a mess. There's $20,000 of my money on the floor. Those must be the winners. No, he's just extremely greedy. He probably didn't even make anything. He's going to distribute the paper. You're mean.

Go ahead. Huh? Go ahead. With? What did I say? Something about grabbing people while they are peeing. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Why is that not okay?

I think don't grab people in the bathroom. But I'll do it while they're peeing so they don't know. They're not expecting it. They're in the stall. Because there's no urinals in the women's restroom. That's true. It's all sit down. To sit down operation. So I'll start crawling under the stall.

And I'll do it really quickly like a snake or something. Like the lady from The Ring. The what? The Ring. I don't know what that is. When you're old enough to see R-rated films you should watch the no no i'm religious right i wouldn't watch something like that you wouldn't watch the ring well if not if it's already it is r-rated yeah so i will pass why is it already is there nudity no oh so maybe i would what is their cursing slurs and stuff scary violent disturbing images that might be okay. I'm not sure.

I think it's okay because you're Jewish. No, I'm not. I'm a former Jew. Now I am a... Latter-day Saint? Oh, yeah. Okay. Sounds like someone who regrets how much he ate.

I'm not even allowed to legally talk about How much he eats I mean that Usually that's I mentioned it I thought he was a little fat On one of the episodes recently with Harlan Williams. So Harlan made fun of him and was talking shit to him. And now I'm not allowed to say stuff like that anymore. Because Harlan took it too far?

I'm sure he would have done that either way. Fucking fat piece of shit. This fat piece of shit? No, I didn't say that. I didn't say that. I promise I didn't say that. If you got real low on cash, would you sell your wife's wedding ring and replace it with a fake one?

I don't... I think my wife's wedding ring was not very expensive. We didn't do that. Really? Yeah, we didn't do that. It's not like... What year did you get married?

We got married in 2017. So way after he was in office. Chaney? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, he was out. He was the vice to who? Bush? Bush.

And one time when he was in a bush, he got shot in the face with birdshot. Who, Bush or Chaney? Ch he got shot in the face with bird shot. Who, Bush or Cheney? Cheney got shot in the face, remember? I probably wasn't alive back then. What year was that? That was probably, yeah, I bet you were alive. You were probably six years old.

That was in 2013? I thought you were born in 2000. 2007. I'm 17. Is your name Pete Hall Because later in life You're going to go homeless Or homesless

Homesless Homesless yeah I do plan You ever plan to be homeless I No No Sometimes I catch myself going that why how much money do you have right now on me no like if you went to your bank what's the number would say

checking what i don't know the difference savings straving um i don't know i don't know. I don't know. Yeah, I try. I had actually, before I worked with him, I had some money saved up, and I lost it. I'm sorry. I invested into the wrong coin. Doge coin? No, that one actually didn't lose everything.

I put it into just some shit. I don't even want to talk about it. Sometimes I think about, there was a show in New York where they paid you five Bitcoin. That's like a shit. I don't even want to talk about it. Sometimes I think about there was a show in New York where they paid you five Bitcoin. That's like a gag, right? I didn't do it, but a friend of mine did it. And he bought a beer with it.

Five Bitcoin is about, I think it's about $3 million. Five Bitcoin is like $ to 500,000. It's more than that. No, it's like, I don't know what it is as of the recording, but I think the all-time high is like 110,000. Oh, I think you might be right. Do you think it's unethical for Zeus

to have monkeys in cages the size of monkeys? Do I think it's unethical for Zeus? Zeus, Z-O-O-S. Oh, Zeus to have monkeys in cages? Do I think it's unethical for Zeus? Zeus. Z-O-O-S. Oh, Zeus to have monkeys in cages? The size of monkeys. You mean the size of people? No. You're not understanding what I'm saying?

I don't understand. I thought you were I thought you were meaning to say The size of people Like look It's exactly like people You're just saying the size of monkeys Yeah that's how Which isn't a fixed size

Well I mean In a perfect world I guess about the average size of a monkey Maybe if the monkey is smaller it gets a little bit lucky and it can, like, scratch its nose, but... Yeah. I mean, I guess if it's a little bigger, it just probably dies. Well, you go to the zoo, they got gorillas and stuff

that are bigger than most of us. I'm talking about... This is not a racist joke, by the way, or something. Okay. I'm talking about, like, the smaller-sized monkeys. Like a regular-sized... Not like a monkey like or something. Okay. I'm talking about like the smaller sized monkeys. Like a regular sized primate? No, like a monkey like this big. Okay.

If he's this big, the cages are usually this big. I see. Yeah. Like a veal, like a monkey veal. A what? Monkey veal situation. I don't know what that means. You know, they put baby cows in very small cages that make veal.

I guess that might be something similar. Yeah. But those are to eat. Yeah, and the monkeys, yeah. I was going to say, I think in a perfect world, we wouldn't have monkeys. You think that's unethical? Yeah. I don't think it's ideal.

Let's put it this way. I think if aliens came to our planet and they saw that one of the things we do is capture animals and put them in cages to look at them, they would say, that's pretty fucking weird. Or they would say,

well, let's get some of these motherfuckers and put them in cages. Sure. What? What's y'all's table budget? This is legit. This is like the last airbender. Get over here. Sit down. Sit down. The money fell.

For those of you on the audio only, there seems to be a fight. Matan and his manager viral flooring. Oh, it's reassembling. Everything's fine. There's money on the ground. Why is he cowering? Do you hit him?

He's cowering. Do you think life is like yin and yang? White with a little bit of bad in it and black with a little bit of good in it? Go ahead, please. go ahead please look those are those are you know they're from a certain perspective.

Certainly a good question. Yeah, it's a very funny... Continue, please. Continue, please. I think the yin-yang symbol is a fair symbol for the... It's a representation of America today. Oh. That's a... That's called racism.

That's called the truth, friend. This is... you know. There's, you know, there's different, you might be, I don't know how to respond to the first part, but there's a lot of crime, wealth, and look at this crime. This guy's stealing all your money. If I go over, he's going to beat my ass. I know.

Your body language seemed to tell a tale of something we don't see, something that makes me think you might need help. Do you need help? No, but he also ripped my notes apart. So he took some of my, I'm out of notes now. All I can think to say, that was the philosophy quotes. Oh, shit. From the top professor at UC Berkeley.

Yeah, he was the top one. I guess that's it for now. Long neck is coming in in a second. Do you have any, any, uh. Long neck? Anything to say to long neck? Yeah, it's his last day. He's part of the Make-A-Wish Foundation.

Is long neck the style of beer bottle? No, Long Neck, that dumbass with the long neck who talks like he smoked a million cigarettes. I don't know him. Well, he'll be here in a second. Who does your tables? Walmart. Yeah, they look good.

Well, thanks for having me. Oh. Takk for ating med.