The Matan Show - Matan Tries Making Howie Mandel Say The N Word

Episode Date: November 25, 2024

Okay, let's start one more time. I'll reintroduce. Just stand, both Viral, stand in your same spot. Sorry, I guess the mic wasn't plugged in. Do I, am I coming back in too? Yeah. Fucking moron Viral flooring guy. He took it out when he came over here, that's what he did.

Alright. Stand right next to him. To Viral? Yeah, stand off camera next to him. And then I'll reintroduce you. Fucking piece of shit took the plug out of my mic. Hello everybody, welcome back to the podcast. For today's guest, we have Viro Flooring.

Welcome in. Now you also walk in. Me too? Go ahead Hi I'm a big fan of yours Thank you for having me on the show Okay, go ahead Pull the table closer to you

And introduce yourself In case anybody doesn't know you Okay A lot of people don't know me My name's Howie Mandel And I'm I'm a stand-up comic, and I'm a judge on America's Got Talent and Canada's Got Talent.

I used to do Deal or No Deal, and I do voices on cartoons and movies, and I'm just, I think I'm adorable. If you had to get rid of one kind of Indian, which would you pick? Ooh. Really? What is the question? If you had to get rid of one kind of Indian,

which would you pick? I would never get rid of an Indian. That's not the question. Okay, but that's the answer. Yeah, but you had to get rid of one of them. So there's a couple of factors here. Okay, so it would be the one closest to the door. Okay, so you would get rid of the Native Americans.

No, I didn't say that. I did not say that. Well, you said the one closest to the door. I just told you that I'm on network television. You're trying to get me to just... This isn't going on network television ever. Well, if I answer the question, either am I. That's not true.

Just give a funny answer. Give something like, say, Native Americans or something. I thought that when I said the one closest to the door would be considered a funny answer. No, funny but real. If you asked me that question, I door would be considered a funny answer. No, funny but real. Like, if you asked me that question, I would say it in a funny way. Like, oh, I would pick the Native Americans because they're, you know, I hate them. Yeah.

Go ahead. So which one would you get rid of? I wouldn't. Obviously, you're much funnier than me. It doesn't have to be any of them. No, it's a hypothetical. It has to be one or the other uh the question is incomplete well the answer is incomplete the question is totally

complete I just want to come I'm I'm older and I've had a long career and I wanted I just don't want this to be my last show can I say that okay fine so if you and I I'll rephrase it in a more okay way. If you had to exterminate one kind of Indian, which would you pick? Okay. That's, yeah, that smooths it over. If I. Would you flip a coin on it? Because again, there's multiple factors. One of the Indian.

Why have I been on here for two minutes and I'm sweating? You're sweating? I really am. Okay. Maybe take the hat off. I was sweating when you did my podcast. I thought that I was in trouble. It was like chaos and I didn't know what was going on.

And I feel like there's even more, like here it's more dangerous. Because now I'm like prepared with notes? I don't know that it's the preparation that's making me nervous as much as it's the... Do you have another question? I would never get rid of a Native American. Yes, I understand. I think we should all live as one. And nobody should ever be exterminated.

Can I rephrase it one more time? Everyone is equal. And everyone is... I love everyone. And I feel no. Can I rephrase it? This was a Jewish answer because I'm a Jew. Do you have a problem with that?

Oh, you do. Can I rephrase it? I just got barked at. No, that was a huge distaste for you. No, but even the way you did it, it made me, I want to put the table back because I'm a germaphobe and I felt the air. Okay. Oh, you're a germaphobe? I am a germaphobe.

I had a question about that. I don't touch anything. You're afraid to touch my hand, but you're perfectly okay sitting on a chair that some guy peed on? Oh, are you kidding me? No, that really happened. The last guest did it.

Are you being serious? I'm being serious. I mean... No, I'm not. Can I stand? I guess. You don't have a good angle for the camera. Do they still see me?

I have another chair. I don't want to sit in this. I have another chair that wasn't peed on but we gave you the one that was peed on. Okay, give him the non-peed chair. I don't want that chair.

I can't touch anything. I can't. I'll bring it to you. Please. This is... How long have we been here? I don't touch things. I bring a tool

to touch things. This is what I bring to touch things. It's good when the host makes you feel really comfortable Thank you I just brought you the chair That's nice of you Yeah, that's nice of you Alright, thank you

That's something a nice guy would do Yeah, and you're a nice guy What is that? Why did you do that? Why did you throw tape? Why did he throw tape? Are you okay? Are you okay?

Why did you do that? Why did he throw tape? Are you okay? Are you okay? Why did you do that? Why would you throw tape at him? What's going on? What's going on? Oh, no. You're going to... What's going on? Is this going to fall on me?

Why'd you do that? Why'd you do that? Why are you laughing? I don't want to... Are you okay? There's no tape on my head. That's heavy. It's a heavy tape on your head.

Are we okay here? I'm okay. Is it falling down to set? No, your stuff behind it fell down. It's your... Yeah, I know. This is at... We're at my office

and you set this up here. Yeah, in case anybody... we just filmed his podcast. I know, but you just said you broke something behind there. No, it's okay. You got some money. Let's continue, okay? All right. That wasn't cool that you threw that.

You know what? You shouldn't throw. Get the fuck out of here. Me? No, him. He can get the fuck out of here. We're going to bring in Mike Mike. He's the new co-host.

Mike Mike, Mr. Mike Mike, take a seat over there. Mr. Googly eyes. Now, can you do me a favor? Can you lean? Sorry. Okay.

That's okay. Can you move your chair over? I don't want to do it for you. Because he's going to come back in and sit next to you now. Can you lean your chair over there? Me to move my chair over there? Well, no. What am I doing?

Just move it to the other side of the table. Me? Yeah, we're going to do a confined space, okay? So here you go. I'm going to take this from you. I don't understand. That's a drink. That's my drink.

Okay, that's okay. Here. And then just sit on the other side. I'm trying to make sure he doesn't touch it. Food, what is going on? Okay. You're going to sit right there. Okay.

Are you sheeting your pants? Not yet. I feel nervous, though. When I get nervous, I get a nervous tummy. I get nervous. Get nervous. Okay, so do you want to move on from the Indian question? I would love to.

Can I have my drink? Oh, sure. Okay. It's okay. But I just touched it. I'm not going to touch it. I'm just dealing with what's on the inside. I understand.

Okay. What advice would you give a mentally deranged person pointing a gun at you? Please don't point that gun at me. The question wasn't what you would tell the guy to have him stop pointing a gun. It was what advice you would give him. Oh. Like life advice. It is never good as a mentally deranged person to point a gun at somebody.

Yeah, but that's still manipulation of the system. You know what I mean? You're trying to help yourself. I'm asking, like you know those TikTokers who go up to people and they ask them what life advice you would give? Right, right. Imagine now you had, the guy has a gun at you and you go like this. You go like this, look. What are you looking at?

And you take the phone out at him to record him. Oh, you scared the shit out of me. I got so nervous. You need to turn that off. He's going to ruin the audio. Turn that off? This thing in your pocket that you're pressing. I'm not pressing anything.

You're going like this. You're pressing it. You're squeezing it. I'm not squeezing anything. Take it out. You can't accuse me. You can't accuse me of anything. Next question.

Next question? Yes. But you didn't answer the first one. I did. You never told me which Indian. Oh, that one I didn't. Let's go back to that one. No.

But I really want an answer because I'm very interested because you said that you implied in the beginning. So uncomfortable. When you were on my podcast, my daughter called me and said this was the most uncomfortable. We've been doing it for three years, the most uncomfortable podcast we've ever had because you sat him beside her and it made her really uncomfortable. We've been doing it for three years. The most uncomfortable podcast we've ever had because you sat him beside her

and it made her really uncomfortable. Well, thank you. Anyway, so you implied in the beginning you wanted to get rid of the Native Americans. You said the ones closest to the door. Well, I was just talking about if we were in an elevator with all different Native Americans. The implication was that they were here first.

You know, the implication was I was on an elevator. No, that wasn't the implication. The implication was I was on an elevator. I wasn't, no, that wasn't the implication. The implication was I was on an elevator with a whole. Are you saying they're not good fighters? They're bad fighters. I'm not saying that. I was saying that I was in an elevator. That was their land.

They had the advantage. They had all of the stuff ready here. Is this airing before Thanksgiving? I'm going to release it right next to it so they can put it on whatever your show is. I love that you're thematic. Anyway, I was thinking that they were in the elevator with me. right next to it so they can put it on whatever your show is i love that you're thematic anyway the i was thinking that they were in the elevator with me and which one would you get rid of who's ever closest to the door okay and what if the one closest to the door was a native american you'd

get rid of him instead of the indian guy because if you'll get wait listen listen if you get rid of all of the indians that's like a billion see your notes yeah that's fine if you get rid of all of the indians that's like over a billion people. But if you get rid of the Native Americans, you're doing a service. So which one? Can you hear me backing up? I hear the truck,

but the audio won't pick up on it. Go ahead. I can move on if you really need me to. I really need you to move on. Because, no, it's not, I love you, and I'm such a big fan of yours, but you realize that by answering or even trying to answer any of these questions, that you will destroy my career.

Can I ask you a question? A different question? I think that that's what I'm here for. Why are you smiling? And why did you throw tape? And why are you wearing all this? He's my manager. What kind of management is he?

Unfortunately, he's allowed to assault me when he feels like, so I'm not allowed to defend myself. I signed an NDA. You know what I love? That he got here a half hour before we started. You were sitting in a meeting with all your, with your team. Yeah, I was telling them. And this was the plan?

Yeah, I told him to sit on the podcast, but he didn't tell me about the tape. Okay, well, again, listen, I know that you don't want to answer that because it's a little bit controversial. A little bit? But I don't know what you think the next questions are going to be like. Hopefully, they're just about how I got started. Do I have advice for young people who want to get into comedy?

How did I start a podcast with my daughter? How do I know you? Are you afraid of being touched because of what happened on your eighth day? That's funny. Go ahead. For those that don't understand, you're talking about circumcision, right? No, well, there's circumcision, and then there's what those guys do on day eight. Circumcised.

They cut the end of my penis off. That's what they say they do, but who knows what they're really doing. Well, there is a sect of people that when they get circumcised, then they suck the blood. I read that. Oh, really? I did. I read that. Does somebody have, can you Google that?

They suck the... I think you're much worse off saying that than which of the Native Americans or Indians you want to get rid of. No, there was. I'm telling you, in New York, there was a... Yeah, they do that. think you're much worse off saying that than which of the native americans or indians you want to get rid of no there was i'm telling you in new york there was a they do that did you not know it's not a blow job it's the they stopped the bleeding i'm not my parents didn't circumcise me they just hemmed it they they said i didn't like a lot of people, are you circumcised? I don't know. Is he circumcised, your manager? No, he's not gay. Well, anyway, they didn't circumcise, they didn't cut it off. They just hemmed it like you do pants because my parents.

And your parents did it or they hired one of those guys in the outfits? I think my grandmother was a seamstress. And they just hemmed it so that, because you don't know what the style is going to be. What if bell bottoms are back? Do you have anybody in your team that Googled the fact that there is this sect of people that they suck the blood? Yeah, well, I wouldn't have expected you to mention that.

But go ahead. I don't want to. I'm not mentioning it. I was just talking about what happened. Yeah, well, I mean, I don't know if this is related to the last thing, but I heard Howie Mandel was going to kill himself. Who did you hear that from? I heard that, what did he say?

He started going crazy and started talking about the Jewish circumcisions. And then that's what they said. No? Oh, you're not suicidal no i don't make fun of uh mental health oh it's never something to suicide is not something to make no i don't want anybody to be triggered and i don't want to do that that's my uh i'm kind of serious about mental health okay okay so i i know i would never i would never do that i wouldn wouldn't even talk about it. You're looking at him like,

why are you looking at him now? Like what? He's doing something wrong, right? He shouldn't make fun of that. Right? Right. You think he has a mental health issue?

No, I do. You do have a mental health. Yes, I do. The thing with the touching or that's just correlated or. That's part of it. I have OCD and I'm depressed and anxiety and I'm medicated as i sit here on your show oh you

take the medicine after the show i mean i do take a lot of medicine and i'm i think i'm gonna call my therapist as soon as this is over what are you gonna tell them i'm in trouble and but listen you're not the one saying any of these crazy stuff okay it's just it's all right i know i can need help this is so i know i'm gonna wake up in a dream and i'm gonna be at home in bed and this didn't happen and uh i i'm gonna wake up and a dream and I'm going to be at home in bed and this didn't happen and I'm going to wake up and I'm going to go, honey, you're not going to believe it.

I believe, I was surrounded, I was in our sheets. I was sleeping, but there was three other people there and the tape was being thrown and inappropriate questions were being asked, but thank God I'm just at home in bed.

Oh, so you're hoping this is like a nightmare? Well, hope is a wrong word, but I'm, yes. It's the right word. Hope? I guess maybe your intention isn't hope. I don't know which.

I don't really know what you're going for. What I'm going for? Yeah, I'm not sure what's the meaning of what you said. I don't get it. Okay.

Either do I. I've been doing this for 45 years, demeaning of what you said i don't i don't get it okay i either do i i'm i'm you have no i've never i've been doing this for 45 years and this is the most confused but enjoyable i love this is like this is if people are wondering what goes on inside of a... This feels like... One. Hey guys, sorry for the interruption. I have to let you know that today's episode is sponsored by PrizePix. If you don't already know what PrizePix

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That's code MATAN, M-A-T-A-N, to get $50 instantly when you play your first $5 lineup. Prize Peaks run your game. I think I see someone hanging right there. Why does he smile? Do you think your fear of germs would be alleviated if somebody on my crew threw a bucket of sewage all over you? No.

Oh, so we shouldn't do it? No, no, no, no. I can call him off if you like it. Please, please. You don't want to stain the sheets. No, that's fine. If I had a buck for every time I've said that to somebody. Okay. You don't want to stain the sheets. No, that's fine. If I had a buck for every time I've said that to somebody. Okay.

You don't want to stain the sheets. Let me ask you a question. You said that when you shake somebody's hands, you end up washing your hands. Yeah, and I don't stop. For four and a half hours. I have. Okay, so what would happen if we did the sewage? We could just kind of eliminate you from participation in society.

Well, you might eliminate me. Perfect. What are you doing? We could just kind of eliminate you from participation in society. Well, you might eliminate me for a purpose. What are you doing? He's getting the sewage. No, don't get the... You'll find out after whether or not it's really sewage. No, I don't want to even... See, even the thought that I think it's sewage... Even the thought that I think it's sewage.

Even the thought that I think it's sewage is like... I'll cut this out. I'll give you a little hint. It's not sewage, but it smells horrible. Oh, then throw it all over me. No. Do I really have to call them off? That was the... Yeah, call them off.

Okay. Are they coming? Don't come here with sewage Or something that smells Like sewage They just left the building to get it Where do you go to get Something that smells like sewage? When I arrived at the building I put the bucket outside

You have a bucket of something That smells like sewage Well it's just It's just water Well you have a whole list Of things No it's just that water That you get from the side of the street

That water you get from the side of the street Go ahead Does management do that? No he's a viral flooring He'll sell you floors the side of the street. That water you get from the side of the street. Go ahead. Does management do that? No, he's a viral flooring. He'll sell you floors. Viral floors. I was in the flooring business before I got into show business.

So, but you, how old are you now? I'm 68 right now. You're 68 right now? So how old? I wait when this airs, I'll probably be 69. When is your birthday?

November. Oh, November what? 11? Oh no, that's september my bad go ahead 11 is december no i thought i i got confused and 11 of the 11th month is november i got confused and thought 9 11 was coming up no that happened yeah yeah i i know i just thought it was november that happened before you were born that That's what some say. Oh, you don't believe it happened? I believe there was some funny business going on with that.

It's conspiracy theory. Do you think the world's flat? No, but I have a question similar to that. When that guy went into a pizza store and started shooting at the floor, did the bullets almost get you? I'm not getting the reference. that guy went into a pizza store no no you didn't go anywhere you were underground that guy went into the pizza shop and he started shooting at the floor did any of the bullets almost get you no i don't know i'm sure it's really funny what is the reference why am i asking you

what is the reference you don't get here for me you were making pizzas underground oh like the uh uh what's it called the illuminati or whatever the is that what you're saying but i didn't you're i didn't say anything like that now you're oh i know like the i know what you're talking about the pizza i i remember that that's a conspiracy theory and you think i'm in that i'm asking if the bullets almost got you no i i remember that that's a conspiracy theory and you think i'm in that group i'm asking if the bullets almost got you no i'm not in that no and i wouldn't be in a pizza place anyways i'm lactose intolerant that's another problem so you have a ton of issues and i do do you use i don't i don't collect them by i don't measure them by weight how many questions do you have? About 38. Roughly?

No, 38. You do a lot of work. There's a lot of work involved in this. I wanted to... I watched this podcast. I didn't realize there was so much... A lot of effort. When you look at it, you don't go, this must be really tough. Oh, thanks. What are some dirty Hollywood

secrets only a mega Jewish celebrity like you would know? Because I'm a stand-up comic and I work alone most of the time, you know, I'm not part of a cast or I'm not in a movie. The thing that I do the most is stand-up. I will sometimes... But that's not what most people know you from.

Really? No, they know you from that one show where you buy the businesses. Shark Tank? Yeah, which one did make you the most money? I'm not Mr. Wonderful. No, that's the other guy. I'm talking about... Which one do you think I am? I'm not on that show. I'm not on Shark Tank? Yeah, which one made you the most money? I'm not Mr. Wonderful. No, that's the other guy. I'm talking about...

Which one do you think I am? I'm not on that show. I'm not on Shark Tank. No, which one made you... Yeah, yeah, I get it. I'm on America's Got Talent. Yeah, also, but which out of all the businesses, which one was the least success?

Which one did you miss out? What was the biggest miss? No, I didn't... I'm not on that show. You've never been on it? No. No. Which one do you think I am? Like,. No. Which one do you think I am?

Like, what do you... Who do you think I am? I don't know. I just thought you were on the show. No. Anyways, finish what you were saying beforehand. I forget. Me too, but I was hoping you would remember.

What was it? I don't remember. It was something about... It doesn't matter. Only a mega Jewish celebrity would know. Sometimes I'll have sex with myself to get a job for myself. Oh, because you're the top.

You're saying because you're already at the top of it so you don't have to do anything? That's not something to joke about. Why do you think it's to myself? Because people get assaulted. In Hollywood. People get sexually assaulted in Hollywood. That's not something to joke about. Okay. I won't. But you'll joke about that, but not about Indian people?

I just, no. Wow. You could be Indian and get assaulted. That's not funny. Well, yeah. Never something to joke about. There's probably people that have sexually assaulted Indian people. And then that's problem on problem.

That never happened because that would mean that they would have to be attracted to Indians. I don't think that's possible. I was hoping you'd get the implication, but... I like this part of the show. Between the questions. Would you support bombing Iraq? I heard they're close to developing a car. That's great.

That's great. That is great. I think that's a rhetoricalical question i don't think you're looking for an answer i think you already that the punch line was in the the question so i just said you're that close to developing a car very close last week they uh figured out how to speak to one another the iraqi people that whole area you're not into that? Have you ever dated a Persian girl? Oh, no. I like Arab people. You do? I'm talking about that one little piece of shit next to it.

Fuck them. God damn them. Go ahead. Continue. Me continue? I don't know how to close. I don't know how to finish that statement. But if you were...

If I was. If you were to finish the statement go ahead i had no idea they were making cars um and um and would you want to bomb them or not because of that fact i don't have bombs i don't have any bombs no i'm just asking if you'd be in so i know what you're saying i know what you're saying and this is a much easier question and you know you started off with a tough question and they seem to get tougher and tougher i'm gonna be on this whole episode and not be able to answer one question okay do you want me to go nothing that anybody's gonna find out the only thing they know about me did you see that fly just went by is there sewage here a fly there's a fly he's still getting it he's i know i just saw flies it's

bothering me i can move to another you didn't. No, we didn't let them out earlier. Go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead, finish. I don't know what I was saying. I don't know what question you're referring to. I'm having like a fever dream right now. We'll move on.

Okay. I'll go to one more. That's great. There was a time in my life when I'd be on a show and somebody would ask me something uncomfortable and it's uncomfortable and I'd say move on. But with you, sometimes when you move on, it's not to a good place.

Okay, I'll move on to something easier. Oh, good. Oh, my God. I'm going to... Who... Which country do you think has the worst culture?

No Asian countries allowed. That's cheating. Okay, that would be cheating. That would be cheating, and I would never cheat. Okay. We already know it's terrible. You know what's terrible? Go ahead.

Go ahead what? Which country has the worst one? The worst culture. I think you're yet to answer one question. I will answer. I promise you I will answer a question. I just have to find the question that would be appropriate to answer. Okay, well, listen.

If it's too bad. No, it's good. We won't cut it out, but I'll tell you I will. So go ahead. Well, you just told me you're going to cut it out, but you're not going to. Well, if you ask after for footage, I'll send you the final cut and then let you make, you can tell me whatever you need to be cut out. It would probably be from, like when you said, walk in,

and then, when you say. Oh, I'm not going to cut it out. No, I know. I know. I know. I would say, Czechoslovakia.

Oh, you picked a white country. You make it easy. You made it so a white country. You make it easy. You made it so it's not... I made it easy. You made it not controversial. It's easy. I'm not going to have... It's not controversial that I said Czechoslovakia.

Why didn't you say that place Obama is from? Hawaii? Kenya. You're a birther? You don't believe that he's from America? I don't like him at all. Why? You already know the reason. Do I have to say it? No, don't. Please, don't believe that he's from America? I don't like him at all. Why? You already know the reason.

Do I have to say it? No, don't. Please, don't. I don't want to be on the same screen when you say it. I'll give you 10 bucks if you say the super version of it. No. No. I'll give you 50 if you say the mega version.

Oh, okay. No! You can say it for five. You can say the super version for 10. And if you say the real cool version, you get 50. The real cool version. If you say it for five. You can say the super version for ten. And if you say the real cool version, you get 50. The real cool version. If you say it. Wow.

Wow. Let me think. Give me a minute. Wow, 50 bucks. $50. Well, you could go viral if you do it. Like flooring? Yeah, his floors are viral.

They'll explode. What does that even mean? They'll explode. They're going to get a ton of views. The floors explode. His floors. Yeah, he's making floors are viral. They'll explode. What does that even mean? They'll explode. They're going to get a ton of views. The floors explode. His floors. Yeah, he's making floors go viral. Wow.

Wow. What is the most viral floor he has? See, you're taking the conversation back to something. Yes, I am. To something that's kind of boring and less dangerous. Yeah, but I don't want anybody to click off because you're about to say the N word. N***. There it goes.

Oh, what if I just bleep it after you said the N? That's smart. I'm going to do that. No. No, don't do that. Promise me. Did you do that? Did you do that?

I just did it. I didn't. Every time you're saying no right now, I'm just going to be doing that again. No. You got messed up. I'm going to send out to Shark Tank. My show? Yeah, exactly. Page four. I'm going to send out No To Shark Tank My show?

Yeah exactly Page four I'm on page four now I'm on page four now Oh this is a good question Oh it is Why do the people in Korea Keep calling me a lacist?

Because you won't stop Tying their shoes Nope Oh Wrong Another thing Good answer That's a good answer Because you won't stop tying their shoes. Nope. Oh. Wrong. Good answer. That's a good answer. Not exactly.

Who are you looking at? Who's giving you answers? I'm thinking of how to... Can you think by just looking straight ahead? Yes, okay. It's not because I'm tying their shoes. It's because they're trying to pronounce something and it sounds funny. No, it's because you're tying their shoes.

Look, my shoes are undone again. Get me the laces. Get me my tan. I don't want to bend down and tie my own shoes. I need a laces. Can I ask you a question? You did.

What might a laces say? What might a laces say? How did you get into a fucking... That last thing was leading somewhere and then you ended it with art. What? You said fucking Oh, you beeped it again? Make it seem like I'm saying things I'm not saying?

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Being sober? Driving sober is illegal? A vast majority of car accidents occur from those guys. Right. Probably more accidents occur because of sober driving than drunk driving. Is that what you're saying? By far.

Very, very big margin. You know what? When you look at the stats, you're right. Oh my gosh, I had no idea. Do you think we should ban other people who aren't good at driving on average? I'm going to start mothers against sober driving. I'm going to start that. Start mothers, I had no idea. Do you think we should ban other people who aren't good at driving on average? Right, I'm going to start Mothers Against Sober Driving. I'm going to start that.

Start mothers, start women, Asian, anything else? Why do you always have to take it there? Because usually I'm trying to cut down on the black and yellow stuff. Okay, good idea. I love the intent. But with you, I know you can't respond to any of it. So it's just like I'm throwing something out there and I'm getting no response and it's so good it's a good feeling it's a good feeling yeah are you enjoying this episode oh this is really fun yeah i thought it was fun when you

came on my show because you're because you're way more famous than any of the other guys i've had on in terms of just like broad level of fame so you're much more scared to say something and does that make it easier or harder for you? I'm still asking the same question, but I guess my rhetoric towards it is more happy. Your what is more happy? I don't know. I put the words together that they

say on the television. Rhetoric? I heard that. Do you know what that means? A little. I know what it means, but I can't explain it i don't you have to have a different level of understanding of the term to explain it i don't i don't understand your explanation okay so you're not go ahead you you said earlier you're not on shark tank you're on which one america's got talent no you're in a different one. Okay. Canada's Got Talent. Another one?

I did Deal or No Deal for years. Oh, we have a question about that. Oh, good. Okay. Why are the contestants on Deal or No Deal regular people and not those who need money more like starving kids in Africa? That's a good suggestion. That's a good suggestion.

We should have starving children picking cases. I love that idea. I love that idea. I love that idea. Can you imagine how good the episode would come out if one of them ended up with just a buck? But think about this. You take a buck back to where they're from and they could buy so much.

Yeah, but you're not going to pay for their flight. They're going to have to round up and sell the whole village to some European for it. So even just homeless people. What about homeless? I don't call them homeless. I call them... This is a shit.

No. Nonprofits. Nonprofits? No. A la carte. I prefer a kick. What? What?

I prefer kicking them in the face. Homeless people? Oh, yeah. Why? Smell like shit. What do you do when you see one? You give them...

Yeah, I had another question. I give them money. You have a lot of money. Why don't you give any of it to the... Why don't you give it all to the needy? I do. You can't afford this huge studio with no money.

You really think that people are looking at this knowing this is my studio and thinking how can he afford all this? Okay, I'll paint the picture. This is a massive studio in Beverly Hills.

It's not in Beverly Hills. Okay, well now he's lying. I'm gonna... No, you're lying. No, this is a huge studio. It's not a huge studio. It's just enough. This is four sheets.

I'm in a room filled with sheets because I wish I could have a massive studio. But I've given all my funds to the homeless and children in need. Homeless people are not something to joke about. And you're making a fun on them.

I'm not. You're saying that you give them your money, but you really don't. That's not funny. I do. But you don't give them all your money. Okay, you're claiming it's just the sheets. I give all my money to the homeless,

but they're out there struggling, nothing to eat. They're dying. Do you have a sponsor for this? I'm not sure if I still do. I had one last episode. I make sure the sponsors pay me first. Their ads are really interesting.

Do you ever do an ad read? I've done an ad read, but the sponsors don't. I usually have. What was the product? It was that underwear you had on your episode, those scammers. I'm bleeping that, but they're scammers I'm bleeping that but they're scammers They're not scammers Huge scammers

I have to do one off ads People don't usually renew So who's on this episode I don't know when this is releasing so I'm not sure Probably a gambling website What Probably a gambling website And you can gamble on how much longer How much more of a career does Howie Mandel have?

Couple. Fan duel. Okay. Let's continue. Okay. I read online. Well, we just got off topic. I read online you were a top visitor to an anonymous island near the Caribbean.

What's so great about the islands over there? I was a top visitor to a Caribbean island. Oh, right next to it, real close. Well, I was in the... I don't know what you're talking about, but I love... It's an island that has one little mini house on it. Deal or no deal island. I did deal or no deal island, which I produce.

I'm not the host of. Is that the one you're talking about? And there was one house on it, and it was Pablo Escob's uh where he where he i'm talking about a different criminal okay um i'm sure you know him you knew him oh epstein yeah you knew him not all the jews know each other i didn't know i'm sure you met him before no that's not true it is true i didn't know. I'm sure you met him before. No. That's not true. It is true. I didn't meet him. You were on the flight logs. I'm on flight logs?

His flight logs. That's not true. The only flight logs I'm familiar with. One time I shit on a plane. That's the only flight log I'm involved with. Oh, sorry. You're one of the two people unnamed on his log? You're John Doe?

No, I've been married for 45 years. I didn't go to islands to meet young girls. Well, you have to say that. Why? It's not like you can say that you did for a multitude of reasons. Again, we mentioned earlier how Emendel was suicidal. Was what? You're suicidal?

No. Are you sure they're going to make me? No, you shouldn't say that word. That's the one where he got like a trigger for people. Okay, he wants to kill you. No. Oh, my gosh. Which one would you rather me say?

I'll give you the option now, but pick one. I'd rather tell you which Native American I'd like to get. Okay, so you picked Native American. No, I didn't. It wasn't between different types of Native Americans. It was between Native Americans and Indians. I did not say that. I'm just saying if you're going to talk about mental health versus that,

I'm not saying even that. Czechoslovakia has the worst culture. I'm not even saying that. I'm saying so many things that I've never said before this is so hard this is I love watching it being on it

it's quick looking at me oh my gosh we can send him out to get the bucket if you want no I don't want the bucket the flies are already in the room

you previously had an appearance on Kill Tony would you do a spin-off called Kill howie where people shoot at you from a distance okay i would do that okay that's cool i guess i would do that because i'm i'm quick and i'm uh like i could duck and things like that i would do that no i wouldn't why did you bring my like i see off camera you brought one of my stools from my show over there to sit right here. Why did you take apart my, you caused a lot of damage on my podcast. On your set?

No, I didn't. Yeah, you broke the Simon Cowell picture? No, I took it. No, you broke something. You threw something at it. Yeah, but then I took it. I was speaking like forward tense. I haven't took it yet, but I'm going to.

What happened? You don't understand? No. Why did you take my stool? I see my stool on camera. I didn't steal it. I just put it there so he could sit there before I got something thrown in my head.

Tape. I guess that's what it was. I don't know why he threw it in my head. I don't know why he threw it at my head I don't know You know I feel like I'm at an assisted living place And I'm sitting at like a card table My grandmother used to have And you people are visiting me

And I don't understand anything that's going on Are you enjoying the podcast so far? This is the best time I've ever had. Oh, really? Oh, yeah. Do you think it'll be worth it? Worth it? I guess, yeah.

You get to have fun on it, but not once it releases. Am I the next... What's that guy that got trolled for doing your show? What's his name? What did he look like? No, because then you're going to get me

in trouble describing him. Yeah, I know who you're talking about. No, I know you know, and that's why you're asking me what he look like? No, because then you're going to get me in trouble describing him. I know who you're talking about. No, I know you know. And that's why you're asking me what he looked like. Was he small or big? I'm not even going to say that. You had a picture of him big. Oh.

You had a picture of him. What color was that fella? Human. That's not a color. It is. We come in so many different colors. It was dark black. You're talking about David Lucas.

He got trolled. Am I going to get trolled for this? Am I going to get trolled for this? I don't think... You're using the terminology wrong. That doesn't make any sense. But we'll move on. If Kanye West

invited you to go undercover and collect information on the Jews, would you accept his offer? No. Whoa, whoa. Why not? Are you Jewish? Yeah.

Ah! I am. No, he's such a good friend of the Jews. I like Kanye. Do you? Well, you're saying it sarcastically. I was being sarcastic. You've met him before?

I have met him. He's a cool guy oh the best so why were you you don't like him anymore he has the worst culture oh

what about black people no what do you mean he has the worst culture no I was just thinking he's a country

he's a world that is not what you meant that's exactly what I meant I'm not cutting that out and you're trying to you're trying to walk it out I didn't say anything bad

you said Kanye has the worst culture. Yeah. What else could that mean? He's not from a different country. He has no culture. You know how you say somebody has... I guess it's possible he's from Kenya, but that's a good answer, too. He's not from Kenya.

I think he's from Chicago. And so, isn't that where they say the other guy's from? Why do you keep looking up? Is there something happening? I'm trying to think. Oh. Can't you think just looking forward? You said that already.

I know, but maybe you cut it out. I don't know what's in this i don't know how how long is this episode i don't know how long we've been filming so far maybe like 40 minutes i have no i'm asking we've been going for about 40 minutes but we need to continue we need to continue the podcast yeah because you need to get at least one answer before I leave. Well, you've given me indirect answers. Oh, no, I haven't. Can you take the hat off? Okay.

Because when I make these clips, I want it to be really clear who said it and what he said. Hi. This question I asked you actually on your podcast, but I don't think I got a direct answer. Maybe I'll get one here. You said, we already went over this, but you're afraid of touching people?

Yes. I've got a mysophobia. Now, is that just an issue you have with the goyim, like non-Jews? No, everybody. Everybody. So you, are you anti-Semitic? Am I anti-Semitic?

You won't touch Jewish people? Well, I'll touch, listen, I'll touch myself. Would you shake my hand? No. What would happen if you did? Nothing. Nothing. Probably not.

I'll do it with the thing I brought. I brought this. You could shake that. Take it. Shake it. Go ahead. You could shake my hand. But didn't you touch this and you could shake that take it shake it go ahead you could shake my hand but didn't you touch this and you're going to touch it again after no i'm never going to take it back just shake it shake it really that was given to me by my grandfather two days before he died okay good and he said whatever he said, whatever you do, Howie, you hold this hand and you remember me.

And then you just took it like a piece of garbage. Well, he gave you a piece of garbage. Right on his dying, he said, Howie, come here. Howie. And he pulled out the hand.

Did he have any hair? No. No, that's not talking to you. I was asking if he had that... What? That big hat. Oh, was he Hasidic? Go ahead.

Every time I mention anything Jew-y, you make that sound. What does that mean? No good. Distaste. The first thing he just said was poo? Yeah. Well, I'm sure you get the reference to what he's talking about. You don't like Jews either?

He doesn't say anything unless you mention Jews. Okay. And what do you... Let's go back to the conversation. Before we move to another question, what are your thoughts on those guys? On which guys? The gay ones. I have no thoughts about them.

They're very the same as me. You have children? I do. I have three children. And you have a son? I do. How many? One or two?

One son, two daughters, three grandchildren. If your son was gay, what would you do with him? I'd ask him to... Where is he? He's here somewhere. I saw him earlier. He's in the corner hugging that man. Can we bring him in?

I want to ask him a question. No, once he's with another man, there's no distracting him. Where is he? I don't know. I don't know where he is. But you could ask him. You want my son to come in? No, I don't even know what I was going to he is. But you could ask him. You want my son to come in? No, I don't even know what I was going to ask him.

Would you still speak with him if he was or not? If he was gay, yes. Would you disown him? No. If he had a gay wedding, would you go? Yes. So where would you draw the line? There's no lines to be drawn.

I would never draw a line. I accept everything and everyone. What gay thing would he have to do for you to be like, that's it, that's too much bullshit? I guess because he's my son, if he tried to blow me. Ooh. Ooh. Ooh.

What are you looking at? There's a lot of flies. Nobody brought that bucket in, right? There's no bucket in here. There's a lot of flies all over the place wow there's an awkward silence yeah i'm thinking where to go with the podcast next because i know in about four minutes i can see that you're at the page where you have the last question there's no more questions i already asked that one oh no no i i flipped through it i don't ask them in order oh this is out of order's amazing because there seemed to be an amazing flow to how you built to an apex.

And then I would never think that you were asking these questions out of order. They're completely out of order. That's amazing the way you make them seem seamless. It's like a trip. I don't understand. I don't understand where I'm going either. Sometimes the questions seem like they're so good that they seem like they're in order.

Yeah. Okay, well, I'll say this. I might have another question for you, but you still haven't given an answer. And the podcast ends when the guy with the bucket, Long Neck, gets here. What's his name? Long Neck.

Long Neck. When he gets here with that bucket, Is that the Long Neck guy from YouTube? I don't think so. There's a guy named Long Neck on YouTube. He's a Brazilian Instagrammer. And you have him here? No, we're shooting an episode with him.

I thought I could just... He's got the crazy long neck. What am I asking you? You're not really describing anything. It's like saying that there's a guy named Fat Blackass. It's like, oh, he's fat and black, I guess. You know what I mean? It's not really a good description.

You're just pointing out what was in his name. Can you say that? What? Long neck. Other one. No, I can talk. I only want to talk really about the Brazilian guy with the long neck. And I loveian people with

long necks and when you say brazilian is he from brazil or he has no hair no but his followers are from brazil that's what i've been told really i love this set i just love the set i don't know where to go from here i think you're i feel like i'm you're too experienced with avoiding slurs and and you want me to do a slur. I feel like I'm done. Can you end it on... This is like a nightmare at Bed Bath & Beyond. This is like...

Well, listen, we're about to wrap up the episode. This is not a good episode for you? You hated it? This is a great episode, but I'll end it now. Oh, why? So we can set up for Long Neck. Because he's going to come in. And throw sewage at me?

When you're not looking. You won't know about it. No, don't end it then. You can end it. Well, you're going to do it. And throw sewage at me? When you're not looking. You won't know about it. No, don't end it then. You can end it. I'm not going to leave. Well, you're going to do it if you're on the podcast still. What's wrong? What just happened?

I was just thinking about those guys again. No, did you just throw up a little and swallow it? I thought of them, yeah. I saw you. That was the most disgusting thing so far. Yeah. Something came up and then you pushed it back down. Yeah, I know.

What was it? It was like a throw up. I was thinking about... Anyways, let's continue. What was it? That's what it was. Why would you throw up? I just told you at the start.

No, all kidding aside, I'm a germaphobe. Are you ill? I have a sickness. I have COVID. No, you don't. I had it two weeks ago, but not anymore. You had COVID two weeks ago. Yeah, but I took the test and I would not take a vaccine or nothing.

But. Okay. That's it? It's not even real, you know that? What? Not a problem. Evet.