The Matan Show - Michael Bisping Threatens To Hurt Matan After Getting Annoyed

Episode Date: September 20, 2026

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free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming Ontario. Hello everybody. Welcome back to the podcast for today's guest. We have Michael Bisping. Welcome in. Thanks for coming. For today's co-host, we have my manager, Vara, flooring. Please welcome in VARFlooring. Bobby. That's what he said his name was. We also have a disciple of the Lord. Please welcome in a disciple of the Lord. What makes him a disciple of the Lord? Can you please pull the mic close to your mouth?

What makes him a disciple of the Lord? What makes him a disciple of the Lord? It's not really for me to decide. Okay, all right. I'm just gonna... How's that? I am not the Lord, or a blasphemer. Quite the comfortable outfit you got there.

Take a seat, brother. Ha! So can you pull the mic close to your mouth and then introduce yourself for anybody who might not know you and all that one? Is that close enough? Yes. You hear me okay?

All right, well, guys, I'm Michael Bisping. You watch it with that fork there, buddy. Don't get... You know, don't get any ideas. I'm Michael Bisping, former UFC middleweight champion of the world. Communicating with the Lord. Okay.

You said you're a former what? UFC middleweight champion. Hall of Famer. You know, that's a bad. Father of three great children. That's great. Husband. Son of a great father.

I'm not even asking this as a Joker to be rude. Which eye should I look at? You can look at both, but this is the fake one. Okay. Yeah. I couldn't tell, actually. It's good. Yeah, no, it's good.

Yeah, it's very good. It's very good. It's hand-painted. You ever take it out and scare children? I do sometimes, yeah. They don't like it. That's great. It's funny. It's like my little party piece just to like break the eyes.

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BetMGEM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming Ontario. Well, it happened in a fight. He wasn't trying to take my eye, but... The game is to take the nose. You got your nose. He took your eye. He didn't take my eye, but he did take my eye. detached the retina. So, you know, then it redetached and I got glaucoma. So it was one thing after another. And then... Who was that? Who did that? That was a guy called Vitor Belfour. Oh, he's a legend too. He is a very well-known fighter, very well-known abuser of performance

enhancing drugs, but still... Oh, really? Ah, well. So is everybody. A lot of people were back in the day. And you know what? I saw that guy, I forget his name, but there's a boxer who knocked out Mayweather's tooth. Oh, really? And he goes around with a chain of his tooth. Have you ever seen that? I haven't seen that. Who's that? What's his name? I forget his name, but he's a famous boxer. I was thinking, does, uh, Vito, does Vitor Belfort walk around with your eye on a chain? No, I still have my eye. Oh really? It's still there. It's just, I have a prosthetic. You have it in like a box somewhere? I mean, I knew you were going to go straight for the eye. It's, it's low hanging fruit. So I knew that's the one that was coming. Well, that's what

you're most well known for. So I had to do it. Exactly. I'm none. That's me. You got notes there? Is it unrealistic to expect fighters with severe brain damage to responsibly invest their money? If they have severe brain damage, then potentially it could be an issue. But most of us get out the other side, okay? I mean, most of us aren't as brain damaged as this guy, you know? Well, that's not from fighting. Or this guy. No, I know.

Some people are just born that way. This guy is not. Communicating with the Lord. Yeah, yeah. That's going to get old pretty cool. awake. But when you're burning in hell, that's never going to get old.

Okay. Sounds. This necklace is falling off all along. Yeah, it's a beautiful necklace. My kids warned me. They wanted me to come on this show, but they also warned me against it. Oh, really? Yeah.

And then following up on that last one, is it unrealistic to expect fighters with severe brain damage to responsibly eat their dinner? What was the question, the start of it? It was the same as the other one. Is it unrealistic to expect fighters with severe brain damage to responsibly eat their dinner? Is it unrealistic to expect them to responsibly eat their dinner? I don't think so.

Really? Yeah. They might start a food fight because they're kind of like... People can, you know, they can eat it. You know? Yeah. I'm not going to raise to you, but I might break your arm if it gets too close. You're trying to communicate.

Yeah, yeah. Not with you either. We're somebody at a much higher level. It's going to be careful with that fog there, because if it does get too close, there will be an issue. other than that we're good there it is

oh he put it down he shit his pants already do you want to next question my tan do you want to help him pick it up no I don't he's all right he's got it covered

do you know if communism exists you cannot roll around in the middle of the street like a ball and cause accidents yeah I'm not too sure I don't yeah I wouldn't have thought so I wouldn't have thought so

So do you support that or no? I don't support it. No, I don't support communism at all. Do you support rolling around in the street like a ball? I support freedom, doing whatever you want. There's got to be some limit. Yeah, there's going to be some kind of accident of order. You know, rolling around in the street.

I mean, what's your definition? You know? Well, I made a clue. You're rolling around. That guy when you had Chelsoning. He was rolling around on the floor. But not in the middle of the street causing car accidents. No, in this beautiful set.

So I guess, yeah, in the middle of the street. the street you're going to get run over you know yeah so maybe it shouldn't be allowed yes i don't think it is allowed but should it be allowed no it shouldn't be allowed no you're you're like that don't you so the laugh so by that standard are you a communist i'm not a communist i'm not a communist now far from it no you said you shouldn't be allowed to do that and if communism exists it's not allowed it's a great gotcha i'm a gotcha podcast Okay, okay. I don't think you got me on. I don't think you got me on anything.

I got you there. Oh, did you really? Okay. Okay. You're saying you're a communist. You support the aspects of communism, like not rolling around like a bomb. You, uh, extrapolate what you want out of my answer, but I'm not a communist. So there you go. You can use whatever high level words you think means something and I think that you've defeated me, but I think you basically admitted you're a communist. Okay, okay. Well, we'll go with that. Well, if you're going to do it, that's fine. But do it. it in your own country.

Okay. Okay. You know, not in America. No, certainly not. Do you think Tom Aspinol should consider hiring you as his new coach? I don't think so. No, I think Tom's got a great coach with his father. His father's an awesome guy.

What about his ad on? As an ad on? I mean, you're going to understand his problem more than anybody else, right? Yeah, of course, of course. But his problem, hopefully, will go away. My problem is here to stay. I've got one eye and that's that. Isn't his problem in both of his eyes?

No, I think it's... Visit BetMGM Casino and check out the newest exclusive. The Price is Right Fortune Pick. BetMDM and Game Sense remind you to play responsibly. 19 plus to wager. Ontario only. Please play responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you,

please contact Connects Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor. Free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming Ontario. One eye. He had an infection. From what I understand, he just needs more rest. Is that because Cyril Ghani's like a, he doesn't shower or what is it? He got an infection from his fingers? No, that was after the fact.

Cyril poked him in the eye a couple of times. You know, a double eye poke. It was unfortunate. It happened sometimes in this sport. You think it was intentional? I don't actually. No, I give him the benefit. it of the doubt. I don't think any fighters

do that on purpose. When you've got the opportunity to punch someone in the face. What about John Jones? He's certainly doing it intentionally. Yeah, he's done it a few times as well and he's hit people in the balls and he kicks legs and stuff like that. But that's allowed that last part.

Yeah, no, it is, it is. But he stompbs on the knees. That's also allowed. It is, it is. Some people call it a dirty move, but I don't. It's allowed. It's in the rule book. But Tom's going to be okay. Tom. You guys are both British. There's a lot you guys can bond about.

And then assuming he does, hopefully it doesn't, but maybe he does lose his eye. Yeah, he's not going to lose his eye. He just needs to take some time away. He's going to come back. He's going to rest. He's going to enjoy it.

But he just vacated, right? Well, he did. He did, yeah, because he wants to the division to move along well. We were talking the other day. I told him, just take some time off. Enjoy Christmas with your family. Let all the other heavyweights fight it out.

You know, rest up, come back. Whop some ass. Get your belt back. And that's it. You think he'll be the same fighter as he was before when he returns? I think he'll be a better fighter. Why is that? The only difference is that he can see less now.

Yeah, no, he's going to be able to see fire, otherwise he won't be able to come back. But he'll come back and... He'll have a chip on his shoulder, you know, because he went through a lot of bullshit. A lot of people were talking shit. So I think he'll come back with a bit of a meaner streak, which will make him a better fighter.

Right. Yeah. There you go. You good there, Bobby? Bobby. Yeah. Do you want any of those toys for your children? No, it's fine.

No. Oh, dear. Look how funny he made it look. It's hilarious. Your children will probably love it. I know they would. They would. You know.

Do you spend most of your day on Reddit arguing with people about consent law loopholes? I don't. I don't. That sounds like a great way to waste your life. Waste your life. Yeah. That sounds like a great way to avoid wasting your life in jail. Yeah, but arguing with people online.

Not arguing, maybe like debating, coming up with new ideas. With who though? Who are you debating with online? Other people who are trying to find loopers. Some random person. There's some screen there. You're kind of working together. No, I don't go on Reddit.

I'm not familiar with it. Well, it's a platform with some of the smartest people alive. Some real athletes. I'm sure you could meet some people there. could meet some people there. I know enough people. I don't need to go online to find them. But then let's say you accidentally have sacked with the 14 year old.

You won't know the correct loophole. That'll be tricky. If you haven't sacked with a 15 year old, then, you know, maybe they don't deserve to find a loophole. But still, whatever. But that's the whole point is that there's probably ways to make that okay. I don't think there is. I don't think there is loophole or not.

Listen, I don't. That moved on well from the Tom Aspinall conversation. Well, we wanted to switch it up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We went from the eye to Tom. Yeah, exactly. Who knows what's next? Okay, let's see.

Okay, let's see. Good mythical morning. Willa grill cheese, frozen yogurt. What's the question? Good mythical morning. Good mythical morning. Will it grilled cheese, frozen yogurt. What is the question?

Will a grill cheese? frozen yogurt. Will a grilled cheese or frozen yogurt? No. Good mythical morning. Will a grilled cheese? Frozen yogurt. Ha!

I don't understand the question. And I don't eat grilled cheese and I don't have frozen yogurt. Good mythical morning. Will a grill cheese? Frozen yogurt. Yeah. It's a question.

Will a grill cheese? Will a grill cheese? What? Frozen yogurt. I don't know if it will or not. Do you think that would come out good? you're not understanding this. Would that come out as a good form of a grilled cheese if you made it with frozen yogurt?

I don't think it would. No? Should they try that? They might have done already. Have you tried it? No. Why not? Because I'm not part of Good Mythical Morning.

Yeah, but it seems like it's something that you're thinking about. Did you go on Reddit and look it up? No, no, I just got that idea from watching the YouTube. What about this guy? Does he have an opinion? On the consent law loopholes or Good Mythical Morning? No, just on generally, you know. Frozen yoghers and grilled cheese and, you know.

After anything you say? You look like you don't have much of a diet in general. Even with all that tinfoil wrapped around you. That woke him up. I did it. Okay. Watch out. He'll fuck you up.

I don't know. I am communicating with the Lord. Good lad. Michael Bisping walks into an optometrist office. The optometries points at his eye chart and says, can you read the bottom line Bisping says, read it I spent half my UFC career

pretending I could even see it Pause for Bisping's reaction Pause for Bisping's reaction Hold on Did that sound AI generated? If Bisping says yes Okay, I anticipated this So I asked AI what to do

If Mr. Bisping catches me using an AI Generated joke Okay If Michael Bisping realizes he used artificial intelligence to write a joke about him. Remain calm, apologize, speak from the heart,

and maintain strong eye contact. Okay, okay. Okay, which eye? Which eye? Visit BetMGM Casino and check out the newest exclusive. The Price is Right Fortune Pick. BetMDM and Game Sense remind you to play responsibly, 19 plus to wager.

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Oh, that was AI too. Oh, shit. Well, I'm not going to lose my temper with any of you. You're going to be fine. I mean, this guy needs all the help you can get. I'm sorry. Yeah, it's okay. Don't apologize.

So what was the question? See, this would have been, see, sadly for you, maybe 10 years ago, you would have got a response. But this shit. No, that's great for me. I don't want you to attack me. No, I know, I know, but it doesn't like, you know, like you're 10 years too late to the party. Or maybe even 13 years ago. I was a little bit sensitive about it then when it first happened because I was still trying to fight.

Well, if it just happened, I certainly wouldn't mess with you. Yeah. Yeah. But I was really bad. I was trying to fight still. So I was trying to keep it a secret. and anytime anyone mentioned it or whatever i used to get pissed off but uh but now i couldn't really give you regret fighting with it no far from it far from it i became champion of the world with one eye

and it's a much more it's a much cooler story i guess i guess but at the time i wasn't trying to do that i was just trying to still you didn't realize that that'd be a much cooler story like i was a guy with one eye becomes the i was just trying to pay my bills i just moved to america with my family to and you know pursue my fight career and then that happened want to live in disgusting english anymore? Probably not, no, no. But I just carried on doing what I could to make money. You know what I'm saying? I see. Yeah. Is Olegidi, Olegi, Olegi, Olegi, a proper British name? I'd say definitely no. It doesn't sound like it. No, I don't think so. That sounds like a racially motivated answer. No. I don't think it doesn't, it's not like Smith or Jones or Blackledge. Well, you don't

have to be white to be British to my understanding you could also be Nigerian yeah well if you say so you disagree I don't disagree I don't agree I don't agree or I'm trying to get a good understanding of your political and social I don't I don't really get involved with politics or like because the government's really don't give a shit about any of us so I just live my life take care of my family and just you know I don't let that shit bother me I couldn't hear you over the Yeah, I know he's very rude. Over the communications with the Lord from the disciple.

Yeah. What's the fork doing? Is that picking up like a signal? Is that the idea? Are you asking me or the disciple? I'm asking all of you. Go on, Bobby. What the fuck happened to his eye?

He took an eye off. Oh shit, that's great. Let me see that. Let me see that. Oh. There we go. What are you going to do, Bobby? You're going to go get it?

Oh shit. We've blown it. We run good terms. I'm sorry, Bobby. That's messed up. It is. It's okay. There we go.

Next question, please, Matan. Would training MMA be a good way to secretly m-k people? I don't know what's funny of the question or his laugh. I mean, if you... were that way inclined, then perhaps it could be. Is there even a better way to do it without, you know, catching a charge? Unless we're talking about other loopholes on Reddit, but I haven't really thought about that. Yeah, I haven't looked at the loopholes, but...

Well, there's a loophole right there. I think if you were training MMA with some kind of ulterior motive, it'd be a painful way to try and experience any kind of pleasure because, you know, I think you guys would quit after one session. You guys? All three of you. None of you have what it takes. Are you implying that I wouldn't be a good fighter or I'm a person to watch a bachshould people?

I mean, I'm both. I don't know about the busting part, actually. You never know. You never know. This guy in the middle, I'd have him down as that, for sure. I mean, look at him. He looks like the, what's it called from Pulp Fiction? The gimp.

It's like a tinfoil gimp. No, he's what's inside the box. Yeah, the tinfoil gimp. It's the real traitors. This guy could be a shabler as well, for sure, you know. And I'm sorry, Mattan. If I saw your face pop up, it's like, I wouldn't be surprised. I don't really take that as an insult, actually.

I think it's kind of a compliment in the sense that it makes me interesting, you know. Yeah, I mean, that's... You don't want to be in a typical person. I'm so normal. Well, you know, you know. Everybody has to have some... You got to stand out in your own way, right? Exactly.

But back to the question. Yeah, please. You don't have to exactly be a good fighter to train MMA, especially training. You don't have to fight. I get why fighting MMA, like in real competitive matches would be a bad way to secretly mrs. People, but just training it?

Yeah, training isn't fun either. The hardest part about being a fighter is the training. The fight is the easy part. But you're probably not going to get injured training, at least badly injured, right? Somebody's not going to break your arm. My neck is in a lot of pain, right now from accidents that happened in training.

Oh, really? Yeah, the training is the hardest part. The fight's the easy bit. You know, you've got to train hard. So then in your opinion, what's a better way to my people? Yeah. I don't know. I don't have one.

We should start a subreddit? You should. It's probably already there. Me and you should do it together. No, we shouldn't. I mean, as I said, I don't use Reddit, so. But I'm sure you know where to look. Oh, yeah, for sure.

Yeah. You can make it happen. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. What's a thousand minus 100 times 40 minus 40 plus 80 minus 90 times a million divided by point five? I'm not sure off the top of my head. I thought you... I'm pretty good at mental arithmetic, but that one was a bit...

It was a bit much. You want me to repeat it? Not really. Bobby. You should have your phone on silent. What happened? You got an alarm? No, Bobby's phone's going off.

Yeah, he's probably time for him to go in the playground, to playground, to playtime. Okay. Visit BetMGM Casino and check out the newest exclusive. The Price is Right Fortune Pick. BetMDM and GameSense remind you to play responsibly. 19 plus to wager. Ontario only. Please play responsibly.

If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connects Ontario at 1-866-531-2,600 to speak to an advisor. Free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming Ontario. Okay. What's this guy doing? Do you think the UFC would be more popular if the fights were to the death? Definitely not.

Go on. What is? For crying out loud. Jesus. My kids warned me. They said, don't do it, Dad. Don't do it. But then he said,

do it and I'm with them now I shouldn't have done it but this I am laughing do regret it already I don't regret it but it's just like I didn't realize you guys were quite so spasticated but um see that's a British word spastic that's I've heard never used before yeah maybe maybe but what is that mean very play tier you're original you're original you're doing your own thing you know you fit into a nice little niche I was thinking about starting to put the show on YouTube kids YouTube Kids. No, it is.

Kids again. You keep talking about my fucking and kids and stuff like that. I'd let that side of things go. These are two completely different things. Welcome today's co-host, Terrorist Mike.

Okay. Terrorist Mike? These are two completely different things. You're posting this on YouTube Kids to make money. Why did they call him terrorist Mike? Because of how he looks. Hey.

He looks like a terrorist. You didn't want to give him a fist bump? No, really. Or you couldn't. You missed it. No. No. this side.

So I don't really see this guy. So that's good. You don't see this guy. Not too well, no. If I'm looking like right now, right now I can see you, but I can't see him. So the whole time, the guy making these weird noises you think looks. Well, now I can't see Mattan. Completely normal.

Now I can't see the host of the show, buddy. So you just sit back. Hey guys, I start for the interruption. I have to let you know that today's episode is sponsored by Factor. Now, even though these last few months, my routine has took a hit because of how busy I am, Factor helps me stay on track. They have banned over 175 bad ingredients, so it's made to keep you living a healthy lifestyle.

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Price speaks around your game. Thank you to Price Speaks for sponsoring today's episode. Do you support Big Paper's coordinated campaign to replace plastic? You done? Big Paper's coordinated campaign. To replace plastic? I don't know. All these bullshit paper straws and all this stuff.

It's crazy. I just had a nice coffee on the way here. With the paper straw? With a fucking paper straw. And it sucks, doesn't it? It absolutely sucks, yeah. But it was in a plastic cup. So what's even the point anyways?

100%. What is that like 30 straws at least to make that cup, right? I don't know what the math is, but yeah. It is. It's silly. So what do you think we should do about that? I don't know. Maybe stop.

Depending on plastic so much. So you support big paper then? I do. You're a big paper communist. That's me. You got me. You got me, buddy. The secret's out.

Oh, shit. China. What's even the point anyways? It's like we're going to stop pollution and then it won't even matter because India is responsible for like a million times. Yeah, exactly. It is. It's pointless. India and China are doing way more damage.

So what is the point? Well, I wouldn't insult China if I were you. Oh, well, it's true. It's true. I mean, the UK, they're trying to go net zero, but what's the point? We're responsible for something like 0.1% of pollution, but it's backrocks in the country. It's about to be a lot higher because of all of the migrants. Maybe.

They're not going to put up with paper straws. I don't think they will. You're not going to put up with public restrooms even. Are they not? Not from when I went there. It didn't seem like they were interested in that. Why? What were they doing?

What could I have said They could have implied anything else Besides the obvious What's the obvious? I said these migrants Moving into the UK Are not going to pull up with public restrooms Okay

So does that imply They defecate in private In their homes Oh I guess it could imply That if you're purposefully Misunderstanding Yeah I guess so Yeah yeah

It could imply that It could imply that If you had some sort of infection That spread to your brain or something But otherwise it would imply something completely different. Yeah, okay. Are you a midwit?

Kind of from the last one. A midwit? Yeah. A midwit? Yes. Midwitted? Sort of. You're not an idiot,

but you're just about average. Yeah, I'm a midwit. You think you're a genius. I think I'm a genius. No, that's the question. Are you a midwit? That's what a midwit is. I'd never heard the term.

It's a Reddit term. It's a Reddit term. Okay. Okay. Yeah, we'll go with that. Midwitted. You are? I mean, I do okay. Like financially?

I mean, just in general, in life, I'm okay, I'm good. So for a midwitted person, I figured it out. Do you make more money now or from when you were a fighter? Probably now. Really? So what do you make now versus then as a fighter? I do pretty good now. If we had to put a number on it.

Nah. It is a numbers game. It is a numbers game, but that's a personal matter. But I do well. I don't make more than when I was a champion, of course. But, you know. Oh, so you were just saying generally you make more now than over. I meant obviously when you were in the UFC fighting big opponents.

Yeah, of course, yeah. You're making more now. I do pretty well now. I work very hard. I'm a very busy man. Legendary has arrived in Alberta with BetMGM Sportsbook. Sign up to unlock access to hundreds of pregame and live betting options for all your favorite sports, including hockey, baseball, baseball.

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I know you've been trying to get me on here for months, but I'm very busy. Is a large chunk of that from commentating with the UFC stuff like that? Yeah, commentating and then just everything else around it. You know, I do my own little podcast. I do a bunch of stuff. I'm always doing something different. So I'm a busy guy.

It's fun. Every day is different. You know, I never thought I'd be sitting there surrounded by these. Well, this is how you know stuff is going really well. Exactly.

When you end up here. Especially. That's when you know you've made it. Exactly. And this is how we know that the culture is evolving correctly. People are finally starting to understand real, whatever this thing is.

Yeah. Whatever this thing is. It is. But it's good for you, though, right? Whatever this is. Mostly good for viral, but yeah. He's the real benefit. How much money do you make from this?

Me? Yeah. You could fit all of the cash that I make into this amount, but viral. I don't think so. Viral, because my manager, he's the one getting all the money from it. The guy who left. Okay. He had me on one of those rape deals, so.

On what videos? One of the... What videos? One of those rip deals. Reap? Yeah. Oh, right, you mean you had a shitty deal. No, either I give him all my money or he's going to get somebody to re-k me.

Oh, okay, okay. Well, sounds like you don't pay you up. Yeah, I don't really have much of an alternative besides giving him all my money. Exactly. Sounds like you're fucked. Did you feel personally insulted when Odysseus shot the Cyclops in the eye? That's a good question. I did it, although I did feel for the Cyclops when I watched the movie recently.

Despite me not being able to relate to him in that way, I also felt bad. Yeah, I was like... What a stupid move. He was just minding his own business. Yeah. Well, he was eating them too. No, he wasn't.

No, he was eating them. Not only when they kicked off, that's when he decided to start eating them. I think he was eating them before that. Was he? I think he was eating them. Maybe I'm remembering it wrong. Did you watch the movie?

I did. Yeah. It was all right. Did you get upset when he did that? You felt like... I didn't get upset, but it was like, you know... Only I was one of them. The lead character just kept fucking making mistakes.

And that was a mistake. You're saying the actor was making mistakes? He's a bad actor? No, the character. In the show. Yeah, yeah. For the movie. Yeah, he kept fucking up.

Was that the biggest mistake? It actually was because then he got cursed by Poseidon. Oh, there you go. I can't remember all the details, but yeah. Well, that's Cyclops, I believe, is a son of Poseidon, so that's why he could never get back home. Ah. So that was a big mistake he made. Well, in that case then, yeah.

Do you have powers I got to? Do I have what? powers like that too. If somebody attacks you in the eye, you get to call upon some sort of sea lord to make sure people never make it back to their house. I do. So is that why Vitor Belford got popped for steroids or whatever?

I don't know what Vitor's doing these days. He's lost at the ocean. Is he? He might just be. That might be a metaphor. For a lot of people. You could view it that way. You're going to have to do better, buddy.

You're going to have to try harder. Well, you have no idea if this is working. No, it's not working, though. How do you know that? Because it's just... What if he's getting messages right now? He ain't getting messages. He's just doing it over and over.

He's just protective covering because... I would see... It's too powerful. Is that it? Was that the whole bit? When you came up with this, like, okay, you just sit there and keep doing that. And eventually it's kind of annoying you. You're going to have to do more, buddy.

If you went to the hat store to buy a hat and instead they gave you a Gatorade, what would you do? I'd say, where's my hat? Thank you for the Gatorade My electrolytes are in check Where is my hat That I chose and paid for

I think it's a fair question The guy says I already gave you a hat This was just an added bonus Absolutely thank you very much It's a good deal That's it And you just walk out with the Gatorade His lie was sufficient enough

You now believe you have a hat that you don't have Oh so he didn't give me a hat The guy's clearly crazy You're confronting him about giving you a Gatorade and he tells you he gave you a hat already. He obviously didn't do that. I missed that part. I thought you said he'd given me the hat.

No, he said, where's my hat? And he says, I already gave you the hat. The gate was a bonus. I wouldn't say that. I'd insist on the hat. He says, I gave it to you already. I'm going to call the police now. You're trying to steal?

It's not a deal today. I decided to give you a bonus gatorade. Fuck in hell. Jesus Christ. I've defeated the disciple. Okay, good. Take it off. Yeah, let's have a look at him. Did you learn anything?

Did you learn anything? That's a good idea. Back to sleep. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, dear. Oh, wait, I don't think you ever answered that question from like five minutes ago. If you think the UFC would be more successful if they fought to the death? Probably not. No.

Why? It'll be a way more interesting version. Well, the UFC exploded in popularity when they moved away. way from the non-rules format. You know, back in the day, there was no weight classes. There was very, very... It seems way more interesting. There was very little rules, but it wasn't allowed on TV.

So then when Dana White and the Fatita Brothers bought the organization, they implemented weight classes, more rules, rounds. But they probably had a lot more restrictions then, you know what I mean? Yeah, but then it exploded. So I think if you were to go back with... and fight to the death, then it probably get banned again. But think about this. Back then, they didn't really have much of an option.

You know what I mean? Otherwise, they would have been banned. Now they could just put these events on in like Saudi Arabia, and there would be no ban because there'd be in Saudi Arabia. Fight to the death? Yeah. Yeah, they might go for that. Yeah, I don't know. The one issue is that if there's a big popular star that loses, that's his last fight.

Exactly. However, that will make much bigger stars, you know what I mean? Like Connor McGregor goes out. on his eyes open. Kiels Connor McGregor is going to be an unbelievable star I guess

I guess who would have done that Khabib maybe I mean I wasn't the first I think Kabeb tried to do that yeah imagine if he had done that Imagine how much more

Famous I mean it would have been very dramatic Yeah It was already quite dramatic What happened after that fight But Were you there for that I was there

I saw it yeah You didn't want to jump in Well I was in the I was doing the pre-imposed shell So I was in a booth way high up in the arena. And then you got arrested after? I did?

Yeah. No. Why? I was nothing to do with it. I thought you said you jumped in from the... No, I said I didn't jump in. You said I did the pre-show and I was supposed to do the post show, but then I jumped in and I got arrested. Yeah, I don't think I said that.

This is like the hat situation all over again. Oh, shit. My kids were right. They were right? They were right. Well, they told you to do it. They said do it. They said, I don't know if you should do it.

No, no. Now you're really like the hot guy. Now you're really changing the conversation. No, I'm like, yeah. Okay. Do you ever cut off a goat's head and try summoning a warlock to curse your enemies? No, I'll give it a try next time. And who would you curse?

Who would I curse? That guy, Belford or somebody else? No, do you know what? To be honest, I don't really have any enemies. Oh, really? I don't really spend time thinking. about people like that. Don't get me wrong,

there's plenty of dickheads around. I met a few more today. Where did you meet them? But yeah, I don't really spend time, you know, obsessing over, quote-unquote.

You don't have to obsess over it. I mean, you could eat the rest of the goat after. You would actually be making yourself dinner to some extent. To a certain extent, but I'm not really a fan of goat.

Have you tried it? I have tried it, actually. I mean, I'm not a huge, fan either, but it's not like that bad, right? It's okay. It's okay. It's mid. You know, like, what did you call me? Midwitted? Well, I was asking if you were mid-tier meat. Okay, well, it becomes S-tier or high-quality, whatever you want to call it if at the same time you get to curse your enemies by use of a war. Yeah, I mean, I guess that would give you some extra benefit, but you could just curse like, I don't

know, Daniel Carmier and Joel Rogan. I just saw Daniel Carmier. I'm saying, so then you wouldn't have any competition. I wouldn't need to curse him. D.C. is one of the best guys you could ever meet. I know, but for you, it's better if something bad happens to them. I mean, I guess. Then they'll need to hire you for every event and pay you more. Yeah, well, I'm busy enough. Yeah, but then your value's going to go up. Yeah, I know. Trust me, I have enough on my plate. I don't need extra. I'm good. You know. So you say. So I say. So I say. Do you think you would be. able to train long neck into a UFC fighter.

Which one's longneck? He's my next guest in five minutes. Ah, yeah. I'd have to take a look at him. Now here's, I'll just give you... Most people, most people you could train them up. To be a UFC fighter at the highest level? It depends on their mentality.

What about longneck? Here's the thing about long neck. Well, is he mentally strong? He's mentally re-hitted. However, I'll say this. That'd be an issue. Although some of them that... He might be strong.

Strong? Physically strong? He might be very physically strong. He certainly isn't physically strong. However, he might be for his weight class. He's probably about 70 pounds. And there isn't a weight class for that. But if he booked up, he could be like a feather weight or a fly weight.

Okay. I mean? What is he really small? What do you mean? He weighs like 70 pounds. Ah, shit. Yeah. Well, right now, yeah, it'd be way too small, unfortunately.

But he's not fat, so he doesn't have to cut. No, it doesn't sound. It's actually bulk up to pure muscle. Very, very, very. very skinny. Yeah, exactly, that's the point. So do you think you'd be able to coach him into a professional fighter? Take in mind he's also 34 years old with a bunch of health problems and he's on drugs.

Anything's possible, my friend. What about me? Yeah. Really? Yeah, I think so. I'd be much more interested in the long neck experiment. Now, stand up, let's have a look at you. Unbutting your shirt.

What? What a weirdly homo erotic is to be somebody? Yeah, yeah. Well, you know, obviously the shirt, provide some padding. You know, so that's why you wear it. It makes your shoulders look a little bigger, you know. No, I wear this to look like a business man.

You want to see my physique? Yeah, have you got a teacher on under there? I do also, yeah. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I'm not in fighter shape right now. You certainly don't look like it. Well, that's what I'm saying, but neither is long neck. But you've got a good, you know, the mentality to see here and do this, so maybe you

could. That's what I'm saying, stand up, let's have a look at you. Give us a twirl. That sounds even weird. It does. That sounds like even gayer now. Very gay. I think I'll try a different coach.

Okay. Dude, try it out. Well that's it. We have to film with long neck now. Okay, thank God. Thanks for coming on. Is that it? I just wondered if this guy here was going to do anything.

You thought he was going to try attacking me? Yeah, I don't know. I was like just the final something. How you doing, Mike? Can you talk? Shit. Ha ha ha! Don't you wish you could just hit skip on the worst parts of your life?

You know the same way you can skip an ad? I get it. I'm Siyaya and I live in Ice Cove. I've made some questionable decisions that didn't end up the way I planned. And today I'm still figuring it out. Somehow things usually get worse before they get better. Apparently, that's how I roll. So bundle up and come along for the bumpy ride.

stream a new episode of North of North Tuesdays on CBC Gem.