The Matt Thomas Show with Ross - Annual Texans Schedule Breakdown - 17-0 and 0-17 Predictions

Episode Date: May 15, 2025

It's a yearly tradition on The Matt Thomas Show with Ross - now that we know the official Texans' 2025 Schedule, the guys do their breakdown, both predicting a perfect 17-0 regular season, and a disastrous 0-17 season. Hear both of the analysis and breakdowns! 

And I present to you my predictions of the 2025 Houston Texans. Hit the music. Ross, Matt. Sunday, September the 7th. The Texans will be in Los Angeles, take on the Rams. Actually, in Englewood. And Rossi, Matthew Stafford, I know he's staying in Los Angeles, but he only can throw it 40%. His arm strength is significantly down.

Dante Adams is so old, he'll be out there in a wheelchair. Christian Kirk is going to be. make his LA debut a success. Seven catches, 84 yards and a touchdown. Wow. Texans beat the Rams, 21 to 10. 21 to 10, okay. Matthew Stafford throws multiple picks in the game. Texans are 1 and 0. Monday night, September 15th, the Liberty Whiteout game. The Buccaneers are coming in. The Buccaneers don't ever play well in the first half of the season. They always get better just like Baker Mayfield does. But guess what?

the Texans will catch them at the right time. Will Anderson will sack Buddy, not buddy, Baker Mayfield three times in a 27-17 Texans went over the Buccaneers. Okay. Two and O, baby, LFG. Week three, Sunday, September 21st. Texans go to Jacksonville for a noon game.

The Jaguars don't even know where they're playing because they're hardly playing in Jacksonville anymore. They're always going overseas for one reason or the other. They're lost. Trevor Lawrence gets a haircut before the game. Really? Shaves his head? No, it's a trim.

It's a crew cut, if you will. Okay. He's obviously disjointed by that. He misses his free-flowing locks. Wow. He actually tries a run for a first down and gives up the football. It is scooped up by... Aziz Al-Shahir here?

Give a forearm shiver? By Jalen Petrie. Run to the house. Texans, two defensive touchdowns. Win it. 28. 16. Okay. Three and O. Sunday, September the 28th.

The Tennessee Titans are in. Wow. The number one pick in this draft? Cam Ward. Not playing in the game. What happened? He gets concussed the week before. Oh, man.

So Will Levis. He's still a Titan, right? Yeah, I think so. Thomas Sports Enterprises, no longer bullish on him. because he will throw three amazing interceptions. One will be returned for a pickstick six by Derek Stingley. Kami Fairbairn hits four field goals in the game, one of which is at least 55 yards.

These are wildly specific predictions. Well, that's what I'm here for. Again, nobody else in the marketplace is doing this, so I got to do it. Texans beat the Titans. 31-11. It's really an odd score. They get a safety late in the mix. Late safety.

Right. Safety. Run out of the clock. Then Sunday, October the 5th. We go we, because of course I'm the two of the Texans. In Baltimore, I take on the Ravens. Lamar Jackson, mm-mm, mm-mm. Two costly fumbles, one in the red zone late as they try to drive.

Texans hold on for dear life, 26, 23. Wow. In a rainstorm, by the way. It'll be raining in Baltimore. You're predicting weather as well? Yes, I am. Nobody in the marketplace is doing this.

Monday, October the 20th. The Texans get a week off. 15 days later, they'll be going to Seattle. to take on the Seahawks. Who's the Seahawks quarterback now? Sam Darnold. Oh my God. He will be sacked five times.

There will be the 12th man up there, and we won't hear a peep from them. This will be the most dominant road victory for the Texans this season. The Seahawks may only score two field goals in the game. Meanwhile, a pair of rushing touchdowns. From who would be the... Who would be the backup to the backup to the backup? You know what?

We'll give me the Joe Mixon. Okay. Joe Mixon rushes for 114 yards and two touchdowns. That you're going to go Dari Ogunbo-Walli. 27 to 6. They beat Seattle. 80% of the crowd leaves by the fourth quarter because it's too late. They've got to go to work the next day.

Hmm. Then Sunday, October 26th. The San Francisco four-d-eaters are going to air in. Who's their big expensive tight end? George Kittle. George Kittle. How many weeks are we in? Too many. We're going to hurry here quickly.

You know what? George Kitto cracks an ankle in the game. Oh my gosh. Texans win by two scores. Finally, Denver Broncos are in town. Denver, Sean Payton is grumpy the entire time. Really? Yes.

Okay. Bo Knicks? Bow Knicks throws for, Bo doesn't know football. Bo throws for 114 yards and two INTs. Wow. Texans get another four field goal game from Kami Fairbair. He's very busy this year. I think I've counted.

47 interceptions for the Texans defense so far. It's going to be never one of the NFL. Texans win that one over the Denver Broncos. Who cares? Jacksonville Jaguars at home, easy, peasy win. At Tennessee, there'll be 35,000 people there. Easy, crux.

One of having relations with their husband in the private suite at halftime. Really? Yeah, it's going to be ugly. It'll be video of it. It's very unbecoming of an NFL owner. Josh Allen hates playing in Houston. We saw that last year. That's true. History will repeat itself. Texans beat the Buffalo Bills.

It will be at that point 11 and 0. It's the game so boring how Michaels falls asleep in the fourth quarter. And he wants more pictures of himself during the course of the presentation. Then you go to Indianapolis. Texans, what are they doing in Indianapolis every year? They win. So history repeat itself there. That's got to be at least a two touchdown win.

Sunday December the 7th, prime time, Sunday night football at Kansas City. It's a tough one. Not tough. Are you kidding me? The Texans love playing in Kansas City. First halves, they will not blow a 23-point lead. They will win the game by three. On a last second touchdown reception, Nico Collins back, left corner.

The end zone 14 seconds left. Texans come from behind and win the game. That puts them at 14 and O. Arizona and home, can you even name five Cardinals? I can't. 15 and O. The Las Vegas readers. Former Seahawk quarterback now running things there.

He doesn't know what city he's in. He can't believe it's in Las Vegas. They're throwing dice on the sideline. Texans win by two touchdowns. Gino Smith doesn't even finish the game because of board. them. Then the 17th week. Back to Los Angeles to take on the Chargers. The crowd will be 80% Texans fans anyway. 60,000 Texans fans will make their way to Los Angeles. They'll go to 16 and 0 when they beat the Chargers at so five. Yeah, suck it, Jonathan Allen. And then the Colts and the

Texans, as the Texans try to go for a 17 and 0 season yet again, they will do so. Oh, Prime time. NBC's like, we got to put this team game on because we want to I see the Texans go to 17 and 0. They don't rest their starters, having clinched the number one seat at this point? No, they taste 17 and O. They taste home field throughout the AFC playoffs. Richardson will rush for 64 yards in the first half. At running back?

Is he still playing QB at this point? He's running for his life. And Aziz Aisharir will forearm shiver him to the face. He won't play in the second half. Texans beat the Colts by three touchdown. So, Jonathan and Ross, I present to you a 17 and O Texan season. Unbelievable.

That's what I'm talking about. Unbelievable. Nobody else in the marketplace will do that. I just did it. Wow. Your thoughts on the Texans going 17 and O. Since no one in Houston, Ross, is talking about the Texans' NFL schedule and the predictions we hear at Sports Talk, 790, do it for you, 1235. Ross, you ready?

No. Quickly, I can do this a lot faster. So I'll send me to speed up when I need to. We get time, actually. All right. Matthew Stafford, 309 and two scores. Rams beat the Texans in week one. Oh, God.

It's a ram victory. I will say 2717. Rams. Tough. Number two, Texans home for the Monday night game against Tampa Bay. They get out to a fast lead, but Baker Mayfield throws three touchdowns in the second half. He is the comeback kid.

27, 24 bucks beat the Texans. That's a tough start. Texans open up the year at 0-2. Jacksonville, week three, Trevor Lawrence hasn't cut his hair since training camp. Really? He's got a main goal. It's part of the uniform.

You can grab that. He's got a huge main going. He also runs for a touchdown in the fourth quarter. Azizashire gets called for a personal foul for a horse collar, setting up a first in gold at the one. Quarterback sneaks it in. They also win 2724. Oh, wow.

Jeez. That's a tough one. That's a heartbreaker. Cam Ward comes in in week four. Dang. Rushes for 100, throws for 117, 20 to 17. Titans beat the Texans or

0 and 4. That's a tight one there. Ross, what always happens to the Texans when they go to Baltimore? We don't even need to talk about this. Derek Henry just got a new deal. Derek Henry, two touchdowns. Lamar Jackson, four passing touchdowns. Four? 40 to 14.

blowout in Baltimore. Oh, come on. Texans go to Seattle in week number seven. Cal can't find ESPN Plus under any circumstance. Yes, he can. It's on his Xbox. No, he can't find it. Hannah's yelling at him saying, come with me to the game.

He goes, no, I want to watch it on the month of the Xbox. He's got the ESPN app on his PS5. There's no doubt in my mind. Big Day for Seattle. Five field goals. 18 to 6. got nothing but field goals in it. Seven field goals between the two teams. By the way,

constant rain in Seattle for that Monday night game. Well, of course. So the Texans are 0 and 6. Then you've got Kittle. George Kittles is going to catch, you know the Texans can't cover tight ends. Never. Three touchdowns by himself. Three? We'll play them on your fantasy

team that week. DFS. Brock Purdy. 249. Brock Purdy. And those three touchdowns all to George Kittle, it's a 24-20. What was his faster rating? 106.2. Niners win.

Texans are 0 and 7. Gino Smith comes in not eloquent. throws a couple of picks. They're actually thinking about replacing him late in the game, but he put together a massive drive with

149 on the clock and no timeouts. 85-yard drive. Philgo wins it for Denver 30 to 20. Texans still looking for their first win. What is Gino Smith doing on Denver? There was a trade? Who's the quarterback at Denver now?

Bo Nix. Bo Nix. What was you? Smith is... In Vegas. I'm getting my teams mixed up. And who's in Seattle? Who's Seattle's quarterback now?

Oh, it's... I said it to you. Donald. There we go. You're at least mixed up. I didn't mention Darnal's name by the name, did I? Not yet. Okay, well then shut up.

Owen, eight of the Texans. Jacksonville comes in. Every time the Jaguars and Texans, it's a coin flipper. CJ Stroud throws a pick six late in the game. 21 14. Come on, man.

Jacksonville with the win. This is Hater Matt Thomas stuff. 0 and 9. Not good. Texans always go to Nashville when the orders, when the Tennessee Titans are running the order uniforms. Oh, no.

The Titans have given that up. It will make a difference. Okay. Derek Henry, not there. But who's the running back for the Titans now? Tony Pollard. Tony Pollard.

Two scores. late within the last five minutes, a fumble. Nico Collins tries again an extra yard to keep a drive alive and coughs the football up. Tennessee in short position. Wow. In the red zone, Tennessee wins 2720. That's tough scenes. Josh Allen was embarrassed by the last time he was in Houston.

You won't be embarrassed this time. 368 and four scores. Oh my gosh. On a Thursday? 3113, Buffalo with the win. Man, he's lighting him up on a Thursday. puts the Texans at 0 and 11. That's, is there heat on Domingo Ryan's at this point?

Anthony Richardson throws for 209. Okay, now you're lying. Throws two scores, runs for two. 2817. Texans lose at Indianapolis or 0.12. He throws for 2.9. He goes four for 20 throwing and he throws for 20 throwing and he throws for 209, four big bombs.

Rossi, what did the Texans do when they go to Kansas City each and every year? They get their ass whooped. So go and give the final score to that one for us. 23 to 6. Oh, and 13. Kyler Murray is playing for his next contract. He's running around like a toddler. He ran off with your food.

CJ Stroud gets food poisoning before the game and cannot play. Really? Money Mills? Is he still on the roster? Money Mills throws for 175 and two picks. Arizona with the upset 2110. Oh, and 14. Gosh, this is rough.

Gino Smith and the radius. It's a 325. game. Cal doesn't know that. He's been there since 10 o'clock because he thinks it's a noon game. Okay. So the coaching staff. They're way too early. Fatigue sets in. Big comeback for the Raiders in the second half. They score 14 in the fourth quarter and win 2117. Wow. Oh and 15. That is a big comeback. Chargers make up for last year's wildcard loss in Los Angeles. Herbert. The truth. The truth. It's a truth that he threw four interceptions in that playoff game. And now go, charges, go. Arnold Schwarzenegger, bangs the drum before kickoff.

Herbert throws for 309 and three scores. Does throw a pick. 309, I said it didn't stutter. 309. Chargers win it. Oh, I can't believe this. 317? Wow, that's a massive beatdown.

I would love to kind of work that day. All right. Indianapolis week number 17. Money Mills gets to start again because CJ wants to rest to get ready for next season. That's kind of an odd one. No, I get it. I mean, they're 0.16. Nico Collins also suffering with a hamstring injury.

This team is beset by injuries. The Colts and Texans have nothing to play for. Anthony Richardson starts the game, doesn't finish it, but still runs for two scores. In a 177 Colts win at NR. G, Hannah then says we're moving out of the stadiums, we can't win here anymore. We need a new facility in Fort Bend County. Texans end the year.

Zero and 17. There are There are issues about the new offensive coordinator. Yeah, Casario's got to be gone. Cassario's in trouble. D'emico's in trouble. And Hannah can't get her stadium in Fort Bend County. It is a miserable, downtrodden year

for the Houston Texans NFL franchise. Jeez. So there you have it. O'N 17. And my deepest sympathies to those of you that are decent, normal NFL Texans fans, not Darlene. Not Battle Red Bob. Not Deep Steel Dan.

What about Battle Red Ross? I've long forgotten about him. Let's go Texans. I got 11 and 6. First glance. Over under, by the way, Vegas is 9. It's 9.5.

That's a slight under from last year, correct? I think it was 9.5. Or was it 10. half last year? I thought it was 9. I don't know. It was 9.5. Because you lost a bet. Yeah, that's fine. All right, fans. I just told you, your squad's going 0-117 this year. Any reaction whatsoever? 7-1-3-212-5-790.

7-1-3-212-5-7-90. If you want to react to what I think is going to be a downtrotten year for the local football team, 0-and-17. Are you willing to come to grips with that?