The Matt Walsh Show - Am I The A**hole? Matt Walsh Decides - Part 5

Episode Date: July 5, 2022

Matt Walsh takes to the popular Reddit forum "Am I The A**hole" and decides who is the real A**hole in each situation. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Well, a crowd fan-favored segment here. We're going to go back now to Reddit's, Am I the A-Hole Forum, where people present their moral quandaries, their gripes, their disputes with other people in their lives, and they want to know, are they the A-Hole or is somebody else the A-Hole? And oftentimes the advice they get from Reddit in this regard is very, very bad, which is why I feel like I need to come in here and save the day and give the official proclamation. So we'll start with this. Showtime A-Holes.

First one, it says, My husband, and then in parentheses it says Asian. My husband, Asian, and I, American, welcomed our firstborn four weeks ago. The baby is healthy, thank God, but I'm exhausted. My husband's family had been pressuring us to visit to meet the baby. Yesterday, I was surprised to find them standing on the porch. I was embarrassed and felt like I wasn't ready for visitors

because the house was a N-E-S-S-Yall. A mess. Later, I asked my husband if we should order takeout for dinner. He said no, because his parents would find this rude and unwelcoming. He suggested that I go and say, the kitchen and prepare something. I said, fine, then went and made some mac and cheese. Once I served the family, my husband's mom, asked if I really found it appropriate to serve her in the family mac and cheese. I hate macaroni and cheese. We had an argument and they decided

to go home. My husband said that deciding to serve his family mac and cheese was more offensive than serving them nothing at all. Am I the A-hole? What's wrong with mac and cheese? Wow, okay. So this, this husband, I, here's the note, guys. He's going to help? Okay, I got to You want to give your wife like at least a week's notice. If you're giving her a day, it's going to be a problem. But they're here right now. The house is a mess. You can't, you just, you can't do that. You cannot do that. If you want to have a happy marriage, you just cannot do things like that. Then again, you know, it's easy for me to say because I'm never in, I'm never really tempted to invite guests over for dinner in the first place. So that's not something

I ever really, I never want to do that anyway. So I've never been tempted in that direction. but if I were going to do it, and on the rare occasion when I do, you can never give too much notice. If you can give a year's notice for that, that's probably best. But I kind of like these kinds of questions because this is one where I get to say you're all A-Holes, actually. You are all assholes. Now, obviously, your mother-in-law and husband are A-holes imposing yourself on somebody, especially a mother with a baby, expecting a feast. One of my absolute unwavering non-negotiable principles is that you never complain about food.

that has been served to you. This is why we don't have picky eaters in my house. Okay, picky eaters are a social construct. They are made not born. My kids will eat anything, anything we serve them, because that's the only option we've ever given them. You are going to finish your dozen.

But I also have to unfortunately give you a demerit for serving mac and cheese. Yes, they should have eaten it without complaint, but I can complain because I'm not there, so I'm not beholden to that rule. And as an outside observer, I can say that mac and cheese is for children. More mac and cheese?

Just keep it going. Keep it going. Don't be afraid of the burned edges. Just give me the tray. There should be no room on an adult's plate for mac and cheese. There's so many better, more sophisticated side options. So you're all going to be eight holes for that one. When you use the bathroom, you always lock the door behind you, right?

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her restaurant, which serves an assortment of Thai cuisine. To be honest, I'm insanely picky, but I fell in love with this peanut sauce. So about once a week, I take it on either noodles or stir fry to my day job for lunch. Thursday, I took my noodles and my entire Tupperware was missing. Today, my boss confronted me and accused me of poisoning my noodles because his daughter, one of the new girls, borrowed my lunch and had to be hospitalized. Turns out she has severely allergic to nuts, and she ate some, and boom, she went into anaphylactic shock and had to be hospitalized. Now her dad is trying to hold me accountable for her bills and condition. So am I the asshole? Well, obviously, your co-worker and boss are A-holes here.

Is that a thing people actually do? And I hear about this complaint a lot. Like, this is apparently it's a thing. You bring your food in and someone steals it. I can't even, My God. What have we become? Steal someone's lunch from the fridge? That's sociopath behavior. If someone did that to me, I'd probably, I'd like burn down their house. Burn it down! And then to do it. And then to do that when you have a food allergy is just another level of stupid, which is why, like, this is a good lesson here. If you're an adult. I'm listening. With food allergies. That is not something you can impose on other people. I'm sorry you have that problem, and it can be a serious problem,

but it is yours. Younger kids are different. But with adults, we have this thing with food allergies now where it's like, I'm allergic to peanuts. And so any room I walk into, there should be no peanuts anywhere. I should be, I should have a 50-mile radius peanut-free. Doesn't work. that way. You have to figure out, like some of the other problems we can have in life, even when they're legitimate problems, you have to figure out how to navigate life with that problem. That's on you. All that said, the person who wrote this is also, I think, in another way, the A-hole as well. What a twist. Of course, you never steal your co-workers' lunch out of the fridge, but also you never bring a lunch that has a pungent odor to it. If I'm walking in the break room,

Why should I have to smell your disgusting peanut sauce? So another situation where everybody involved is the A-hole. Another one says, my husband and I have been married for six years. Still don't have kids. We want them, but it's still not happening. Friends and family are causing us constant stress about having a baby soon, but it's obviously something we can't control. So what I did was come up with an idea to have an empty jar and call it the pregnancy jar.

I carry it with me in my bag whenever I'm with my friends and family. And every time somebody asks about when my husband and I are going to have a baby, I pull my jar out and asked them to put a dollar in there for asking. What? And they pull out a dollar and they put it inside the jar. They actually do it? It actually worked because most of them stopped asking after about four months. Last week we had dinner at my parents' house.

My brother came back from his business trip that lasted a month. And while we were eating, he asked when me and my husband were going to have a kid. With my jar in my hand, asked him to drop a dollar for the question he asked. I could tell he felt embarrassed, but he immediately reached out of his pocket, pulled out his wallet and put a collar in the jar. It made me my way back to my seat and sat down and resumed eating like nothing happened. This is, and everybody in the comments, and I scroll down, everybody in the comments has somehow declared that this woman is NTA, right? Not the asshole. Somehow. And that is exactly why you don't turn to Reddit for moral enlightenment. That's why you have to turn to me. Because yes, you are the

a-hole. Every single one so far. Everyone involved is the A-hole. If you're actually cooperating with this and encouraging this behavior? Someone puts a jar in front of me and says, this is my pregnancy jar. I put a dollar in it. What? No, get away from me. Freak. People ask that question because they're taking an interest in you and they want to know about your life. We all have certain questions that are asked of us all the time by everybody and that we're annoyed about, but that's the price of living in a human society. Even if it's a little bit weird, it's still people taking an interest in you. And so that is your responsibility to just deal with it and make it less awkward, not more. And that's the other problem is that, okay, somebody asks a question to you,

and it's a little bit awkward, you don't want to answer it. Well, the objective now should be to neutralize the awkwardness and move on from it as quickly as possible. You've brought everyone else into this awkwardness. I can only imagine sitting there at this dinner table as a guest and watching this whole exchange taking place. How do you move on from that and have a regular conversation. So you're all he holes. Okay, last one. For some background, my husband and I have been married for a little over a year. We recently bought a nice house. It has a pool and a hot tub, and one of the things I've enjoyed is unwinding after a long day. My family has always been very comfortable with nudity, so I find it really irritating and completely unnecessary to be

told to restrict some perfectly harmless things, such as swimming and hot tubbing nude, topless sunbathing, having to wear a braw whenever guests are over. nude grilling hot tubs, hippie houseboats. Now my husband's old mom, who is from a different world, my husband's old mom, does he have a new mom? There's something different about you. She's a southern lady who's super prudish and very passive-aggressive, is staying with us for a month.

My husband wants me to stop sunbathing, swimming, hot tubbing, topless, and dress up a little bit more when having breakfast and dinner. By dress up, I think it means just dress at all. He's not saying dress up, just dress. Put on anything, any kind of clothing at all. We have guests over, please, honey. I flat out refused. I told her she's a guest in our house and I won't be rude or inappropriate. I'm not going to be rude or inappropriate, but I will walk around nude. Am I the asshole here?

Are you the a hole? Yes, you are. And you're also showing it off to everybody in the house, which is a good indication that you are one. That's a rule of thumb. If you're showing your a s to people, then you are one. Like, I think we could kind of take that, put that on a bumper sticker. There's words to live by a lot of entitled people. And it's a common theme. Now, maybe all these entitled people don't walk around naked in their house, and maybe they do, but there's this thing people do where they expect every accommodation to be made for them, but if they are ever expected to make any accommodation for anybody else, it's oppression. So that's the way she's living her life. Everyone has to accommodate to her, but even being asked to simply put on clothing

when my mother is here, she can't do that. In conclusion, put some clothes on, you freak. That's my message to this person and indeed to the whole world, a world which is very much in need I think. Put some clothes on. Well, a lot of A-Holes of various different kinds flying around in that segment. If you don't want to be an A-Hole yourself, then what you need to do right now this moment is hit the like button, hit the subscribe button, and what else? Hit the notification bell so you don't miss any more content just like this.