The Matt Walsh Show - Ep. 79 - How Social Media Helps Turn Us Into Narcissists

Episode Date: August 8, 2018

A new mental disorder called "Snapchat dysmorphia" has been invented to describe people who get plastic surgery so that they look better on Snapchat. There is a simple and more accurate term for this: narcissism. Social media fuels narcissism because it encourages us to focus intently on our image, our appearance, ourselves. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

So have you heard about the hottest new mental disorder? It's the newest one on the market. You can go and pick it up at Target or Walmart if you want. It's called Snapchat dysmorphia. That's the newest one. Let me read a little bit from the story about it on the Daily Wire. It says plastic surgeons say more people are coming into their offices and asking if the doctors can make them look like they do in Snapchat.

Researchers from Boston University School of Medicine's Department of Dermatology wrote, previously patients would bring images of celebrities to their consultations to emulate their attractive features. A new phenomenon dubbed Snapchat dysmorphia has patients seeking out cosmetic surgery to look like filtered versions of themselves instead with fuller lips, bigger eyes, or a thinner nose. This is an alarming trend because those filtered selfies often present an unattainable look and are blurring the lines of reality and fantasy for these patients. Okay, so people are going in and they're asking for plastic surgery. There were some statistics about plastic surgery in this article.

I'm trying to find them that were pretty disturbing. The Washington Post reports that in a 2017 survey, the American Academy of Facial, Plastic, and Reconstructive Surgery found that 55% of plastic surgeons said patients had requested surgery to look better on social media apps, up 13% from the previous year, 55% over half of the patients are going in

and trying to permanently alter their bodies surgically just for the sake of social media. Now, this really isn't that complicated. And this is not a mental disorder either. You see how easily we come up with new mental disorders? Just like that. They just call it that and, oh, it's, It's Snapchat dysmorphia.

And there we go. And now we've got a new mental disorder on the books. If you're wondering how we end up with 300-some mental disorders in the diagnostic statistical manual mental disorders, this is how we end up with it because it's just, you can just make them up. It's as easy as that. If you're a researcher writing a paper or you're a doctor, you can just make up a new one. It's, I mean, it's kind of fun, actually.

You can just make up mental disorders whenever you want. But this is not a. mental disorder. If we have any understanding of the human condition, it shouldn't be that difficult to spot narcissism when we see it. This is just narcissism. These are narcissists who are going to get plastic surgery. Mostly it's narcissists who get plastic surgery in the first place, but especially when they're getting it for the sake of social media, they're narcissists. narcissism is when you take an excessive interest in yourself, especially your appearance, but not only that. I think we kind of have this misguided idea of narcissism where we think that, you know, a narcissist is somebody who thinks too highly of themselves, who has a, who has, essentially, we conflate arrogance and narcissism.

And then on the flip side, we think that a humble person is someone who thinks lowly of themselves, someone who has a low opinion of themselves. But that's not the case. And that's why we would, I think we often assume that if somebody has a bad self-image and so they're going to get plastic surgery, well, they couldn't possibly be a narcissist because they obviously think they have a poor opinion of their own appearance. but that's just not the way it works. A narcissist is someone who thinks about themselves too much. Whether those are good or bad opinions doesn't really matter. The point is they're spending way too much time thinking about themselves, whereas someone who is humble is someone who just doesn't think about themselves that much.

And when they do think about themselves, like a humble person, in fact, in order to be humble, you have to, part of humility, is recognizing your gifts and your strengths and appreciating them and being grateful for them, but then not dwelling on them. So like a humble athlete is someone who, it's not that they don't realize they're a good athlete. No, they know they're a good athlete. They just, and they appreciate that fact, but then they just go and they live their life. They don't think they're better than anyone because of it.

They don't spend a lot of time thinking about how great they are. They just, they realize it, they're grateful, and then they go on and they play the game, right? So I think if you're if you're obsessing all the time about your physical flaws or what you perceive your flaws to be, then you're a narcissist. And you're a narcissist because there's a whole world out there and there are billions of people. None of them, none of them care about your physical flaws. It doesn't matter. It's irrelevant to everything. Yet all you can do is just stare in the mirror and look at your nose that you think is too big or whatever.

I think narcissism lies at the root of many alleged mental disorders. Many things that we consider mental disorders are really at root, just narcissism, just self-obsession. And we kind of create that in ourselves because we spend way too much time in our culture thinking about ourselves. We spend entirely too much time looking inward, into ourselves, at ourselves. So we like to think that, you know, in this culture, we have so much anxiety, we have so much stress, we have so much more of it than people in the past must have had. And we talk as though we're the first generation to ever have self-image issues or issues with self-esteem or what have you.

But none of that is new. The reason why we seem to have more of it is that we spend so much time. thinking about ourselves. We spend so much time analyzing our own emotional state. And when you do that, you're bound to find problems. Like when you sit there and think, how am I feeling right now? How do I feel about how I'm feeling? Where are these feelings coming from? What do I look like? How do I feel about what I look like? You know, it's just I, I, I, I, I, I. It's all about me. And when you do that, it's just inevitable that there's going to be anxiety, there's going to be stress, there's going to be self-esteem issues. It's inevitable.

And I think we could cure or treat or control at least a lot of that if we just thought about something else. This is why, by the way, I'm not a fan of all of these love yourself campaigns and you're beautiful just the way you are and all that. embrace your imperfections, all these marketing campaigns, that it seems like every, you know, cosmetic company or, or whatever, any company that sells toiletry items, you know, this is, this is what they do now. This is how they market, which is especially funny if a makeup company markets itself that way. Embrace yourself just the way you are, but first put a little makeup, okay? But then embrace yourself. I think those campaigns only can to the problem because you're encouraging people, yes, you're encouraging people to think

positively about themselves instead of negatively. But really, you should be encouraging people to just stop thinking about themselves. It's not about trying to shift your image of yourself so that it's all positive. It's just about getting away from yourself, not focusing on that. Instead of focusing so much on loving yourself, focus on a good book. Focus on put on some music. Focus on that. Watch a documentary about dolphins, okay? And focus on the dolphins.

Just think about the dolphins instead of yourself. For five seconds, just think about something else. Focus on anything that isn't you. I think that's how to be a healthy person. If you ask a healthy person, if you were to go up to a mature and healthy person, and ask them, do you love yourself? How do you feel about yourself? Do you love yourself?

I think a healthy person would say, sure, I guess. They'd be kind of confused by the question because they haven't really thought about that. They don't spend a lot of time thinking about how they feel about themselves. Whereas if you ask a narcissist, an unhealthy person, if they love themselves,

they'll give you a whole speech, a whole monologue, explaining in detail exactly how they see themselves, how they feel about themselves, because that's all they ever think about. And this all relates, of course, to people wanting plastic surgery for Snapchat because the same thing happens with our physical appearance. If we spend all day staring in mirrors or taking pictures of our own faces,

inevitably, we're going to notice flaws because we all have them. And then we're going to become obsessed with those flaws. Whereas if you aren't a narcissist and you aren't so intently focused on yourself, you won't notice your physical flaws as much. when you do notice them, you won't be as focused on them or as obsessed with them because you're just in general are not focused on and obsessed with yourself. It's not hard to see how social media, especially something like Snapchat, contributes to this. I don't think social media makes us narcissists. It doesn't turn us into narcissists exactly, but it does feed the narcissistic

impulse because it encourages us to think about ourselves, to think about our image. worst of all, it encourages us to think about our brand. I got an email from a guy a couple of days ago who said he wanted some advice on how to build his brand on social media, the brand of himself, which is already an unhealthy way of looking at yourself if you're, say, a celebrity and you make money off of your image. To see yourself as a brand is unhealthy, although in that context, somewhat understandable. but it's a completely insane way of looking at yourself if you're just a normal person working a normal job and now you're worried about your brand, right? And I know I'm not breaking any new ground here

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we alert you right away, all through text, phone, email, or the LifeLock app. Get the alerts that could make all the difference. Save up to 40% your first year at LifeLock.com slash special offer. Terms apply. To think about, let's just focus on something like Snapchat or social media. What's like one of the primary things people do is they take pictures of themselves or their own faces? and they post them online, right? But have you ever thought about the whole concept of taking a selfie?

I mean, who would have ever predicted that one day we'll have these high-powered cameras which we carry around in our pockets and everybody would have one? But we would use them to take pictures of our own faces 600 times a day where we're experiencing life, you know, with our back turn to it. where even if we want to take a picture of something beyond ourselves, we have to take the picture so that we're in it also. So we're taking the picture like where the thing is behind us, but we are also, because we need ourselves.

I was at a lake recently, and there was just this great view of the lake, and there were trees, and the sun was poking through, and there was a few clouds in the sky, there were birds, just a beautiful view. And there was a sky, standing not far from me. He was trying to get a picture of the lake, but he had his back turn to it

because he was trying to get the lake in the background. He wanted the lake, but he needed his own mug on the forefront of the picture, right? And it's like, why don't you just get your face out of the way and take a picture of the lake? I mean, no one cares about your face.

You know what your face looks like. Everyone knows what your face looks like. It doesn't matter. So just take a picture. Or, you know what, better yet, don't take a picture of the lake at all. Just experience it. Be in the moment.

Sit there and look at the lake and think, wow, that's a beautiful lake. And experience the beauty. Don't document it. Don't try to use it for something. Just be there. And then have it in your head, something to think about, something to focus on that isn't you, and go about your day. Kind of absorb this beautiful moment into yourself, not into your phone, but into yourself, and then carry it with you. I think that's probably a better, even a better strategy.

But this is what social media has turned us into. It is an intensely self-centered thing, a thing that has you constantly thinking about yourself and your image, and which causes you to see every moment in your life as an opportunity to get a great picture and post it so that you can increase your brand awareness. It's very unhealthy, and obviously it's going to contribute to narcissism in a very serious way. Now, I experience this temptation all the time, I'll admit, and it has an increased intensity. for me because this is actually what I do for a living. So I make my living on the internet on social media. So I have to be focused on it. So I always have that excuse for myself that I can give myself. But there's a real danger. But first of all, like everyone else on the internet, there's a danger that I'm going to spend entirely too much time, you know, thinking about myself.

And this, again, has an added intensity because so much of the email that I get, the messages that I get, you know, the correspondence that I get online, I get a lot of it, but so much of it is about me. It's like people emailing me to give me their opinions about me. And whether those are bad or good opinions, it's just not a healthy thing to sit there and read opinions about yourself. It's not healthy. But the second danger is this. I've noticed that every time I have a thought about something, every time I get lost in a train of thought, thinking about something,

thinking about some issue, some idea, whatever. Very quickly, I kind of interrupt my own train of thought, and I say to myself, oh, this is good, I need to use this. I need to use this for a video or a column or my book or whatever. And then I continue in the thought, but now I'm thinking of how I'll phrase it or how I'll write it or how I'm going to present it.

So it's not a real thought. And it's not an organic, real thought anymore. Now it's like I'm constructing something that I can then present to the world. And if I'm not careful, it'll get to the point where I never have normal human thoughts anymore. I'm always just writing articles in my head or planning monologues or something.

So sometimes I have to stop myself and I have to say, you know what, no. I'm just going to think about this thing. I'm not going to use it. I'm not going to write it down. I'm not going to say it into a camera. I'm not going to publish it online. I'm just going to think it.

This is my thought. I'm going to keep it inside myself, and I'm just going to have it there. And that's all. Just like a person. I'm just going to be a person who thinks things and has them in his head, and that's all. In the same way, I think we should do that same thing

when it comes to taking pictures for Instagram or Snapchat or whatever. This is not a temptation that I have personally when it comes to taking pictures because I hate cameras and I hate taking pictures. But people who are inclined that way, I think if you're in that boat, you should just allow yourselves, allow yourself sometimes to simply experience a moment to live in it, to be there without documenting it, without trying to use it for something, without thinking, oh, this is great for Snapchat, This is great for Instagram. This is great for Facebook.

Just whatever it is. Even if you see a beautiful view or you witness some weird or funny scene out in public, whatever it is. Don't document it. Don't use it. Don't bring it back to yourself. Just be there. Just live.

Be a human. And have this moment and carry it with you. And don't tell anybody about it. that have a, I guess what we would call an internal life. And this is the thing. I think I talked about this a few months ago, but this is the main thing that I think social media and the internet is robbing us of. It's robbing us of, and it certainly is doing it to me.

It's robbing us of an internal life, a life that we just have inside ourselves that is not really about ourselves, it's about other things. Experiences, you know, things we've seen, ideas we've had, just that. Where now we pour all of that out online on social media, and we try to package it in a certain way in order to puff up our image to other strangers who happen to be online. It's an unhealthy thing. And as I said, it is fuel for narcissism. And unfortunately, all of us who are online and on social media,

which I assume everyone watching this or listening to this right now is, there's just a ton of fuel out there for narcissism. There's a lot of narcissism fuel. And we have to avoid sometimes consuming it, I think. Thanks for watching, everybody. Thanks for listening. Godspeed.