The Matt Walsh Show - Matt Walsh Rates Abortionists TikTok Meltdowns

Episode Date: July 1, 2022

After the overturning of Roe v Wade, abortionists have taken to TikTok to post their meltdowns. Matt Walsh will rate each meltdown on a scale of 1-10. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You know, we've had some fun on the show playing clips of the libs freaking out because Roe was overturned. And honestly, I'll admit that it's a little bit cheap, okay? It's cheap entertainment. It's a little bit mean. And I'm honestly disappointed in you in the audience that you would participate in this by watching me play these clips and laughing at them. I don't take responsibility personally. I pass the buck to you. I play the clips and make fun of them.

It's your fault for watching and laughing. You should know better than that. You should encourage me. So today, we're not simply going to just play more clips of hysterical libs and make fun of them. Instead, what we're going to do is we're going to play more clips of hysterical libs and grade them. That's much more constructive. So we will be grading the lib freakouts on a scale of 1 to 10. 10 obviously would be the most impressive temper tantrum. And then one would be like a reasonable, intelligent, well-articulated argument. So we can be pretty sure we're not going to see any ones today. But let's watch the first one. You Gorsuch from a lying under oath when you were confirmed saying that you believe that this was settled. Women will die. But as long as it fits your Christian-Gristian narrative, it must be correct. White women of privilege will still have access after their senators f*** them. Poor working mothers will not. Young women who are victims of sexual assault will not.

Women who found out that their child is not viable in the third trimester will not. And who the f*** knows what's going to happen ectomically? Okay, I think we've seen enough. And I'm going to give that, it's a very strong story. I'm going to give that a 7.5 grade out of 10. It's solid. You know, she's got a lot going for her, starting with the aesthetics. She has the angry middle-aged woman hair thing, and she's in the minivan.

Her confused and terrified children are probably in the back seat, just like huddled and and shaking and fear. She's pulled up outside of a Whole Foods, I assume. She's scowling. She's spitting using a lot of swear words. You can tell she's impressed with the swear words that she's using. Clearly a very unpleasant person to be around. This is a face of rage.

This face of rage is one that many customer service representatives have seen, okay, in this world. This is the face of a woman who doesn't understand why the checkout line is taking so long. Overall, I think a pretty nice performance, so I give it a 7.5. All the human rights are going to start falling down. All right, LGBTQ plus community. We're next on the chopping block and birth control. And possibly in a racial marriage. So pretty much we're going, the only thing that's going to have rights in this country is white men and guns.

This is a tough one, but I'm going to give it. This might seem a little harsh to some of you. You're not all going to agree with every grade, but I'm going to give that a six. Some of you probably would grade it higher than I would. But here are the strong points. Okay, we'll go through this. She's crying. She's emotional.

She's chosen the least flattering angle and lighting possible for this display. All that is good. She's got some sort of weird growth or mold or something. on her lip. She throws a few curveballs, which I like. I like to be surprised by a lib tantrum. And so, you know, at the end, she randomly transforms into like a black southern preacher with the way that she pronounces the word white. White. We will be serving white cake. I had to detract points because there's not a lot of anger here. She's not yelling. Worst of all, she only talks about abortion for about 10 seconds. And then she veers off into LGBT, interracial and all that kind of stuff.

I just, I felt like I needed a few more pro-abortion talking points. I needed a little bit more from it. So not a bad effort, but I got to give it a six. I will wipe mankind, whom I have created from the face of the earth, men and animals and creatures that move along the ground and birds of the air, for I am grieved that I have made that. Okay, seeing probably as much of that as we need to see. and I'm going to give that one a 10. That one's a 10 as a commercial for Clorox Bleach.

For Life's Bleachable Moments. I think of all the applications for a cleaning product. Lots of people that need to be cleaned. Lots of things and items of clothing that need cleaning. I very much want to take the bleach and pour it into my eyes. So that's a 10 out of 10 as a Clorox Bleach commercial. As a pro-abortion meltdown, I give it a four. Low effort, really.

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Now, I'm not advocating for burning down buildings. I'm not not advocating for it. But trauma and destruction is kind of the thing that I love. So if you guys want to join me in mailing blood from your uterus to the Supreme Court, I already took the fucking bullet and did it first. So, you know, let's do it. Come on. You guys don't want to keep that shit in your house. Just mail it.

It's going in the trash anyway. Keep it? What do you normally do with it? Anyway, okay, so this is interesting. We're back in the car, culturally appropriating for me again. We've got someone who's just at the deepest level, revolting, pathetic, desperate, committed a federal crime by mailing her bodily fluids. All of that are sort of points that are, that's going to increase her point total, maybe. And Libs, as we know, are obsessed with their own bodily functions.

and bodily fluids. They're like gross little zoo animals in that way. But just overall, I don't know. I mean, there's no emotion. There's just, I'm going to give it a 3.5. I just couldn't get into it. I wasn't very invested in it. Let's let's keep going. So we all see what has happened with this Roe versus Wade situation. We already knew this was how it was going to go down. Dear white women, listen, you're only playing this if you value your life is to shut the fuck up. Listen exclusively to black, brown, and indigenous women, femmes, and non-men. throw every resource you have and use your privilege to back us in every way. You are a big reason why we are in this mess.

From the day black, brown, and indigenous people had contact, made contact, were forced to interact with the colonizer. We have been fighting back. The freedoms we have now are because. Because of our fight and struggle. All right. So I'm going to give this an 8.5. I think it's a very, very strong effort. Aesthetically, you've got everything you need from a lib meltdown.

You've got a face with many more holes than it should have on it. You've got tattoos, overweight person. So a strong starting point to begin with in the car, okay, as always. And then this person who would seem to be on at least three or four different drugs at once starts ranting and immediately demonizes half of the people on her own side, establishing herself from the outset as the Uber victim sort of marking her territory. And she was making this all about something other than abortion, which I know I docked somebody before for points because of that.

But she's keeping it abortion themed. She's doing the victim hierarchy thing. There's a lot of different. she's on crack and so she's balancing a lot of things all at once here and nothing she says makes any sense or means anything. It's rambling. It's very dumb. I can use a little bit more anger. I could use a tear or two,

but overall I give that an 8.5. Very, very good. Just a reminder, because it seems like everyone needs it, not just women get abortions. People with uteruses get abortions. Trans people get abortions, trans men, unbinary people, people of all genders, get abortions. Love you.

First of all, let me give that a 7 out of 10. I've been making a lot of body shaming jokes on the show recently, and I told myself I was turning a new leaf, and I'm not going to do that anymore. But as my producers, they sent me that video, and McKenna sent me that. So I'm being led astray. I'm not going to take the bait, though.

Because I personally think that Brian Stelter looks really good in a purple wig. So I give that a 7 out of 10. There we go. That's what we're looking for. 10 out of 10 performance. Raw, emotional. Don't bother saying anything, making any argument, using words, just cut right to the chase. She's got the cinematography going on. She has someone actually running the camera for her for this meltdown. That is what we like to see from our TikTok lib meltdown. Inspiring performance. Happy ending for all of us. Not for the left. They don't seem very happy, but for the rest of us. Anyway.