The Matt Walsh Show - Matt Walsh Tries to Laugh at Feminist Comedian Hannah Gadsby! (WARNING: 99% Will Fail)

Episode Date: January 1, 2021

I suffered through watching Hannah Gadsby's stand-up "comedy" routines, so you have to also. Don't cheat and drop out early...although I wouldn't blame you if you did. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey, everybody, this is Matt. What you're about to listen to is from my Try to Laugh series in which I take on the challenge, the difficult challenge of trying to laugh at a feminist comedian. You can subscribe to my YouTube page at YouTube.com slash the Matt Wall Show so you can watch the entire series. A few weeks ago, we began a journey together. I want to laugh at a feminist comedian, not at them. I mean, I can laugh at them. That's very easy to do. But with them, I want to find a funny joke told by a feminist comedian and laugh at it. You will fail. That's my goal in life. That's the only thing I want to achieve before I die. I've done everything else that I want to do, sadly enough. This is the last thing. So first we tried Samantha B.

That was a miserable failure. It didn't work out. So today we're going to bring out the big guns, Hannah Gadsby. Okay, Hannah Gatsby is the acclaimed, beloved, critical darling, the best feminist comedian currently on the scene, I'm told. So we're going to watch some of her clips and see if we can do this. You know, can I laugh at a Hannah Gatsby joke?

Can we laugh? Let's find out together. Come along, friends. Forget I did that. Sorry. I want to tell you a story about a terrible conversation I had at the dog park once. This bloke just walks up to me. I mean, he had a dog.

He wasn't just being creepy. He had context. And I want to tell you this. It's not pertinent to the story, but I want you to know his dog had shoes on. And his dog. did not want to have shoes on. Like, because he's doing that, like, and it was a whippet situation,

and they're shaky at the best of times. We don't know why. Are they cold? Are they nervous? We don't know. But it was, like, just, it was a lot. Now, it's not important to the story, but it was a lot in my periphery.

So I just want you to know. Added stress. Okay. Well, you know, a dog with shoes. That's, uh, see, that's kind of funny. I'm not a laugh thing. I'm not gonna, you know, not laughing level. But, I mean, actually seeing the dog with shoes,

that would get a laugh at me. If she had a picture she could have showed us, the visual probably would have helped. But simply mentioning the dog with shoes isn't enough. But I'm on the verge of laughing, okay? The dog with shoes, okay, she's loosened me up a little bit. I'm ready to laugh. I want to laugh.

I'm in a laughing mood now. I'm thinking about dogs with shoes. And now she just has to go in for the kill. So let's see what she's got. Now this was my friend's icebreaker. We'd never met. This was his icebreaker. He said, did you know? It takes less muscles to smile than frown.

Now, the men in the audience are sitting there going, oh, you've experienced an isolated incident. And the women are sitting there going, oh, the fuck's sake. And non-binary folk are like, is that a hard day for you, is it? Damn it. She squandered it. You squandered it, Hannah.

I was ready to laugh. I was. You had me. You had me. Why, Hannah? Why? I mean, now she's going into the absolutely insufferable feminist harangue about being told the smile. And of course, she throws in the thing about non-binary folks because, you know, she can't make a man-vers-woman joke without acknowledging the invented non-binary category. And that's good, obviously, because diversity, inclusion, political correctness, all the stuff that makes comedy great. Okay, dare I even continue playing this. I have a bad feeling now. I've just before, I was filled with hope, dog with shoes. Now she's going into the feminist thing. I should have been prepared for this. It is a feminist comedian after all.

I wasn't ready, it turns out. I'll play a little bit more. Let's see how much more we can stomach. Now, as far as ice breakers go, it's a fucking shit one. Basically, what he's saying is, your face is wrong, can you change it? Like, honestly, and even if I was giving the benefit of the doubt, right, and truly believe that energy consumption

was his chief concern, that he was just looking at me going, if only she knew. She could live her best life. She could get so much more out of a day. If only she knew. Like, even if I believe that, the thing is, I was neither smiling nor frowning.

My face was neutral, which takes fuck all muscles. Like, and now I am aware that my neutral face is not particularly chipper. Like, I do look like someone stabbed the potato with a spoon upside down. Honestly, like, no muscles. neutral. Now, I have resting bitchface. That's what it's called. It's what's colloquially known as. Resting face. Only women have resting bitch face. Men simply have very important thoughts you best not interrupt them having.

Like, honestly, no one has ever gone up to a man what is a stranger and gone cheer up love may never happen. No. Okay. I just stop. I can't. This, this, I mean, I'm waiting for the joke here. I'm waiting, the potato. What is that? I potato with a fork in it upside down. I don't know. She is a comedian, right? So there's supposed to be some humor, but it's not really happening. Instead, she's just venting about a perceived personal slight. I feel like this is 2003, and I'm listening to somebody read their live journal entry to me out loud.

And can I just say, for the record, for all you women out there, just so you know, a little bit of mansplaining, okay? actually you are not being specially targeted when people tell you to smile you really aren't men do get the same thing all the time so hannah says no one would ever say this to a man yes they would actually they do people say to me all the time if you can imagine i don't like it it's annoying but then again i don't like it when anyone says anything to me about anything ever so i'm not the best judge but the only reason why you ladies think that the smile thing is sexist and that you're being specially targeted, is that you ladies are the only ones whining about it. Now, I'm going to go off of my own harangue.

There are many things that feminists complain about, where they think that women are the only ones that deal with it. No, it's not that women are the only ones that deal with it. It's just that women are the only ones who complain about it all the time. Everybody else, we just keep it to ourselves. So, you know, when someone says that to a man, we just shrug it off and go about our day. Meanwhile, someone says it to Hannah Gatsby, and she does a Netflix special about it. My God, this is pettiness on steroids. And I say that as someone who has written multiple thousand plus word articles

complaining about people who don't put their shopping carts away in grocery store parking lots. There is no greater evidence of the disintegration of human society than shopping carts that people just leave all over a parking lot. So I know something about petty whining. And this out does even me. All right, let's try another one. I can put a stand in because I won't hold things this show. anymore. I know who I am.

I know my strengths. Because she's a... She's a lesbian. I don't know. Did you get it? Did you get the joke there? It's the... No, no, no, no, hold on.

Listen, listen, just to stop. Did you get it? I don't think you got it. It's... She's a lesbian. So... She only mentions it 19 times per minute when she's on stage, so you might not have picked up on it. Lesbians.

Lesbians. Lesbians. Lesbians. But yeah, she is a lesbian. That's the joke there. So let's continue. I'm not good at representing. I haven't even read the agenda.

I haven't read the gay agenda. I keep hearing rumors and I think, no, I don't want to. No. Sounds bad. So it sounds like I might be in Slytherin. Now, hang on. Wait a second.

I'm sorry. I don't mean to get into conspiracy. theories here, conspiracy theories, but I simply don't believe that the audience is laughing that hard at that joke. I don't, there is no way, it's a Harry Potter reference, right? This is how in touch I am with the youth of today. Slytherans are Harry Potter. So there's no way that a Harry Potter reference could cause someone to break into uncontrollable fits of laughter. I don't, I don't believe it. The physical reaction doesn't make sense. It would be like if someone responded with orgasmic delight after taking a bite out of a,

out of like a graham cracker or something. There's no way that a graham cracker could elicit that sort of response. Unless you were starving in the desert for two weeks and then you had a graham cracker, then maybe it would have that kind of reaction. So were these people, were they locked in a dungeon and not allowed to laugh on pain of torture for two years? And then could that explain it? Because then I guess you'd be so pleased that you're allowed to laugh,

that you would laugh even at a Hannah Gatsby Harry Potter reference. So maybe that's the secret of her success, that she requires her audience to be chained in a dungeon for 24 months prior to attending her performance. I don't know. You know, a lot of people have different theories. That's mine. Who knows? Anyway, all I'm saying is that I actually want to laugh.

And that is not, this is called try to laugh. And I'm trying to laugh, but I can't laugh at that. At least not that much. The most that that joke could really get out of a normal person is sort of like a Oh, Harry Potter. Oh, from Harry Potter, right. Sure, sure, yeah. I get it, yeah, funny, funny.

That's one of those jokes where you just, you have to say your reaction because you can't actually exhibit it. Oh, funny, sure. Yeah, Harry Potter. All right, I'm going to give up on this one as I am rapidly giving up on life itself. Let's give this a shot. But in all the debate about homosexuality, Don't ever really talked about the lesbians. Lesbian.

Did you pick up on, do I have to play it again? Just as a reminder? Lesbian. She is a lesbian. All right. Do you know, like it's all the game in. They're the problem. Ain't all six.

That's when the devil will get you. If I were to transcribe this and show it to you in written form and tell you that it's a transcription from a therapy session that I was eavesdropping on, you would absolutely believe me. There'd be almost nothing in it that would give you, that would give away the secret that this is actually a stand-up comedian performing for a sold-out audience.

Because this is simply a woman working through her feelings on stage. But the problem is, if I want to listen to a woman work through her feelings, I can just go and talk to literally any woman ever, and they'll be happy to oblige. I don't need to watch stand-up comedy for that. I have a wife, for God's sake. Okay? All right, new video. I'm not going to abandon.

I'm not going to abandon the mission just yet. I'm not going AWOL. But I am determined still to laugh at a Hannah Gatsby joke. So if only I can find one. Some people think it's strange that I would take the pill as a lesbian. Spoiler alert. Did you? Wait, I just need to stop it there for a second.

Because this is breaking news, okay? Hannah Gadsby is a lesbian. Wow. Wow. I know your disappointment's palpable, mate. But I do need to take the pill people. I do because sometimes I like to dress slutty. I do. I love to slut it up. I really do. Show a bit of ankle.

Stop it. Yes. Slut it up. Let's stop it right there. Look at this shot of the audience. These girls in the audience are. You know the book Animorphs on the cover where they show the transition? the transition from the person into what this looks like a transition where the girl on the left is like each each shot is her becoming the one all the way on the far right maybe is the audience populated by clones

that's the theory i'm getting here to here maybe there are there's like a stash of clones somewhere and their only role is just they they fill the audience and they laugh at hannah gatsby jokes maybe. You know, we're solving the mystery as we go along here. Let's go, okay, I'm going to abandon this. I'm just clicking through. We're going through videos. Here's one right here.

Now this one, okay, this one looks like this is a speech. It's not really a stand-up comedy performance, but I don't see a difference anyway between every stand-up comedy performance or her is a speech. So let's give this one a shot. I find good men talking about bad men. Incredibly irritating. And this is something the good men are doing a lot of at the moment.

Not this moment, not this minute, because the good men don't have to wake up early for their opportunity to monologue their hot take on misogyny. All right, shut up. Just shut up. I'm sorry, I'm getting frustrated here. I'm supposed to be laughing, not angry. Maybe this, I admit part of this might be me. Part of the problem might be me.

Maybe it's, it's not you, Hannah Gatsby. It's me, maybe. I don't know. You guys tell me, is this hilarious? Are you laughing at this? Hell no. Okay, last one. I should quit.

I'm a disgrace. Okay. You said it, not me, Hannah. I didn't say that. I don't disagree, but I didn't say it. What sort of comedian can't even make the lesbians laugh? Every comedian ever. See, that's actually kind of a good joke.

You know, I almost feel a laugh burbling up inside me. It's either a laugh or the Chipotle I had for lunch. I don't know, but it's, it's not a bad, she's gone back to the lesbian well again. We can't, you know, we're not going to hold that against her. We're past that now. That's all she's got. Talk about what you know. This is what she knows and pretty much only this.

Fine. But I like the joke because it's, it's, you know, it's a joke. It's an actual joke from a comedian And so that's progress We're getting somewhere Okay, now let's see if she can finally take us home Very clever joke I didn't write that

That is not my joke Oh, come on The one kind of good joke And it wasn't even her joke Man The one decent joke We've heard this entire time And it's not hers

I feel betrayed And disappointed And depressed It's an old An oldie, oldie, oldie bit of goldy, a classic. It was written, you know, well before even women were funny. And back then, in the good old days, lesbian meant something different than it does now.

Back then, lesbian wasn't about sexuality. A lesbian was just any woman not laughing at a man. Why, aren't you laughing? What are you? Some kind of lesbian? Classic. Oh, you go laugh, you go light, not fall. Stop taking everything so seriously. You can learn to take it.

You need a light, nah. Tell you what you need, you need a line. I'll tell you what you need. You need a good, fucking get a fuck up, you drink some shooze. Who is she imitating right now? Who is this person that she's... When in her life has anyone ever said anything like that to her? I guarantee never.

Is that supposed to be the joke? Maybe it is. Is the joke here that feminists are hysterical and over-sensitive and constantly imagining that they're being persecuted when they're really not. If that's a joke, it's a pretty good joke. But I suspect that's not the joke. It's counterproductive. I do think I have to quit comedy, though.

I mean, yes. I, you know, I think maybe we can reach a consensus on that point, Hannah. I think we can really come together as a nation and unite around that. I do. I do. But let's just get to the rest of this bit. We're going to play this one to the end. We're going to do it.

And I've built a career out of self-deprecating humour. That's what I've built my career on. And I don't want to do that anymore. Because do you understand what self-deprecation means when it comes from somebody who already exists in the margins? It's not humility. It's humiliation. I put myself down in order to say,

speak in order to seek permission to speak. And I simply will not do that anymore, not to myself or anybody who identifies with me. I've had planters warts that were funnier than that. And to top off the unfuniness, there's also just the whininess, the wo is me stuff. Go back to the last shot there, the still shot of her and the audience. Hannah says she's on the margins. She's marginalized. No, you're not. That's not what marginalized looks like. You have a Netflix. deal. You're not marginalized. You should be marginalized as an unfunny comedian. That should be a marginalized demographic, but it's not. I mean, that's one of the most lucrative demographics going right now. You're the opposite of marginalized. There's a whole audience of people who are watching,

they paid money to watch you for some reason. I don't know why. I don't know why they'd pay money for that. Then again, people used to pay Jack Kavorkian. So, and actually I'm kind of suspecting it's a very similar audience, but you're not marginalized. You're just not. That's all. Get over it. So I failed this challenge, but it's not my fault. Like any good millennial, I refuse to take responsibility for this whatsoever. I, you know, I'm, I tried to laugh, but I'm leaving infuriated and annoyed, which is exactly how I went in, to be honest with you. It's how I live every day in my life. So maybe that's part of the problem. But the point is, I am a victim for having endured this. I am also now marginalized, and you're a victim too.

So, which is a good thing to be these days. So you're welcome.