The Matt Walsh Show - Matt Walsh's Dating HOT TAKES

Episode Date: June 11, 2022

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So today I want to review what some have deemed my hottest takes when it comes to dating advice or maybe my worst takes. It's all perspective, one or the other. I've done a few installments of giving such advice to the sad souls who use Reddit. So now I think it's time to reflect on the important knowledge I've shared with these sad souls. Now, I, of course, am objectively right in all these cases, but that doesn't stop everybody from disagreeing with what I have to say. Let's take a look. This one says, wife might have lost interest in me and be looking elsewhere. We've been together for five years now. For the last six months, we've been fighting and arguing a lot.

It's mostly stopped over the last two to three weeks, but as of this last weekend, she suggested an open relationship stating that she's read that men are happier. I do not want it. But the more I think about it, the more I feel like she wants it for her. She's always getting hit on, even when I'm right there, and I work a long hour, so I'm not home a lot. I know if I agree to this, it would be just for her.

I don't want anyone else, and even if I did, I'm unattractive and socially awkward, so it's not like I'd get anywhere. What set me over the edge is that I gave her my card before work to pay rent, got home and wanted a soda for the store, and as I was looking for it in her purse, I found a letter she wrote today. It doesn't say who it's too, but it's obviously not for me, and it's signed Love Always, and then her name. I don't know what to do at this point.

Do I tell her how I've been feeling? Do I confront her about the letter? My God, these are depressing. I think I might cry. If I had a soul, I would cry. But I don't, so we're good. But anyway, do you, do you confront her? What do you mean?

Yes. What else would you do? This could very well be the stupidest person on the face of the earth. What do you? I mean, she literally wrote a love letter to another guy. How could you not confront her? What else, what's the other option? Would you go home, like order a piece?

watch master chef together, pretend everything's fine. Is that even a feasible option? If I was in your shoes, I couldn't do that. That would be impossible to do that. You can't be so cowed, so emasculated, that you're that good at hiding your thoughts and feelings around her. So yes, you confront her. Yes, you put your foot down. None of this is okay. None of it is remotely okay. And by the way, there's no such thing as an open marriage. Not quite my temple. A marriage. A marriage. A marriage. by definition is closed. There's no open marriage. It's like saying that you live in a house without a roof. If it doesn't have a roof, it's not a house. The roof is like sort of the whole point of the house. That's what we talk about, you know, you're living under my roof. I need a roof

to say, it's the roof. The roof is one of the main features of the house. And if you don't have that, you don't have a house. And in a marriage, one of the primary defining features is exclusivity, is the commitment you make to one another. So there's no open marriage. What there is, is it's called adultery. Cheating. And even if you both agree to it, it's still adultery. All right, next, it says, I feel like I'm not allowed to have my own time.

I've been dating my girlfriend for almost half a year now, and it's been mostly great other than her clingingness. She's the type to send multiple walls of text while I'm at work, and then when I give her a quick response trying to explain to her I'm busy, she thinks I'm upset at her. which in reality I am and I've tried to explain to her that there's no need to blow my phone up when I'm on the clock at work or at school. I'm trying to explain to her.

I'm busy and I've even set boundaries for her to not borderline spam me when I don't reply. But I feel like when I bring this up, she thinks you don't want me to text you at all. She's also tried calling me while I'm at work and when I don't answer, she'll text my parents asking if I'm safe. There's also been instances of me having to text her

to get her to let me be when I'm hanging out with a friend. Okay, I think I'll get the idea here. extremely clinging, extremely needy. Once again, I would say break up. Bye, fallation. Now, granted, you guys have been dating for half a year, you'd say, which means you've barely been together at all. Okay, so you're still babies in a relationship, and she's still in the infatuation stage of things. And every couple has the infatuation stage when you're sort of obsessed with each other and you need to be around each other 24-7, which there's no love before. the infatuation gets in the way of love.

There can't be real love because the infatuation stage is self-focused. You're obsessed with how this person makes you feel. So it's all about you. She's texting and calling you all the time. Not because she's actually worried about you, but more that she needs that constant connection with you for her own self. She doesn't really care if she's intruding on you or not. So it's really not about you at all.

It's more about her. Tell me I'm pretty. Tell me I'm pretty. There's probably nothing beneath the infatuation. except the infatuation itself. This is one of those situations where you stay with her, and then in a few months, she gets bored and just breaks up with you also. She'll go from utterly obsessed with you.

She doesn't want anything to do with you just like that, or she'll cheat or something. So I just cut this one off now. I mean, general rule here, if you've been dating for only six months and she's already annoying the hell out of you every second of the day, not a good sign. So I would just leave that one alone.

Okay, next question. So I've been on three dates with this girl, and we're really clicking, and I really like her, and she just agreed to a fourth date tomorrow, and it's been about less than two weeks since we started talking. Point is, every now and then she goes off for a good few hours, and I don't know, I'm in all sorts of stress. I don't want to say anything to her about it because I don't want to overwhelm or seem needy, but I need to be able to healthily deal with this, and I just instantly run through scenarios that she's not into me or so-and-so. Are some people just not into texting? I don't know. do I just need to chill the F out?

Listen, there's nothing more repulsive to a woman than neediness in a man that is the most repulsive trade is to be needy. So you are being repulsive in the eyes of this woman. Well, the problem is that phones and text messaging and all that stuff just ignites this kind of neediness in people. So I'm not really blaming you for this. And like everyone is like this to a certain extent at this point. not just in relationships. The very fact that the other person has their phone on them at all times means that you feel like, and not just you, but universally,

you feel like you're entitled to their attention all the time because they have on them the means by which you can get their attention, right? But you aren't. I mean, you can't just barge in on someone at all hours of the day, relentlessly, whatever you feel like it, and expect that they'll drop everything they're doing and respond to you. It's insane. But it's an insanity that, I mean, you're in good company,

like most of the country, this is how they operate. If they send a text message, they expect an immediate response. You know, I frequently get text messages, and I don't respond to them for days. I treat text messages like, like their letters, and I'm living on the frontier in 1835, and the mail comes by horseback every four months. I give myself that kind of time to respond to a text message. That's what I do. You know why? Because I don't owe you a response. I don't owe you my attention. I'm doing something. I'm in the middle of something. Leave me alone.

Or maybe I'm in middle of nothing. Maybe I'm literally just sitting on a chair, staring at a wall, and you send me a text message. You know what I'm still going to do? I'm going to look at my phone and just put it down and not respond. Because I don't feel like talking right now.

If I felt like talking, I'd be texting you. You see? Look, the point is this girl doesn't exist simply to respond to you. If you want that, go ask for a date from Siri. Okay, see if Alexa is still single. You want a human being, then let them live a life apart from your constant surveillance. Get a grip.

Well, I mean, looking back on these clips, I'm not sure how anybody could disagree with me on this or anything else. Now, if you want to make your case against my advice, feel free to do so in the comments below, but just know you may be banned from the show for doing so. So be careful.