The Matt Walsh Show - Matt's "Walshiest" Take - Vote Now!

Episode Date: August 10, 2022

Female Sports reports aren't cut out for their job, dog moms don't exist, and if you go into the ocean you deserve a shark attack. Which is the "Walshiest" take? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Very excited, actually, to cancel a woman by the name of Lindsay Go. This, I believe, is one of the most highly deserved cancellations we've done in several weeks, though, of course, they're all highly deserved. Our friend Lindsay is a sports reporter and also the sports director over at WTOC in Georgia. Now, to be a sports reporter in Georgia, you have to know and love college football, because your audience knows and loves college football. And part of loving college football is loving the atmosphere, the experience. Now, it's not for everybody, certainly.

the game of football is fast and violent and intense and sometimes brutal. The experience of watching the game live in the stadium, especially at college stadium, is loud and rowdy and soaked in beer with people screaming out of anger and out of joy, often switching between the two from second to second. As a football fan, myself, this all sounds like a tremendous amount of fun to me. But as I said, it's not for everybody. And I'm afraid it's not for Lindsay. So on Saturday night, Georgia defeated Clemson at home in a hard-fought 10-10.

to three victory, Lindsay was reporting at the stadium and decided to set up for a live shot right at the exits as 90,000 drunk and deliriously excited football fans were filing out. She chose to set up her cameras in the midst of this swarm and then was less than pleased with the results. Later that night, she tweeted, got all kinds of violated during my first live hit by fans. She also claimed that she'd been groped, quote unquote. And she said after that the, that the experience was that she was stressed by the experience and startled and, quote, frazzled. But courageously, she assured the public that she was okay. Then the next day, as the nation waited with bated breath for an update from Lindsay,

who was stressed and frazzled at the football game, she finally released the footage. Now, it's up to the eye of the beholder, or the beer holder, as the case may be, to decide whether Lindsay was in fact groped and violated, or whether she was simply greeted with the kind of boozy enthusiasm that literally anyone standing in front of a camera in that situation would have experienced. And that's up to you to decide. But let's watch the footage here. Here it is. Hello. Please don't touch me. I've got to move. Okay, you know, my only problem watching that is all the people who, you know, they got their time in

the sun, they got their time on camera, and then they kind of froze and they had nothing to say. I mean, if you're going to intrude into the shot, I respect it. because again, you're at a football game. That's what you do. But you should have something to say. A couple of people, they kind of stuck their head into the shot and, like, didn't, they couldn't think of anything to say, so they just walked away. Now, as far as I could tell, only one person made physical contact with her by touching

her on the shoulder. And as I always tell my kids all the time, you've got to keep your hands to yourself. It is impolite to touch somebody on the shoulder like that when they don't want to be touched. But does that qualify as groping now? Has a person been violated because another person made non-concerns? consensual contact with their shoulder for 10 seconds, or two seconds, really? If so, then we have all been groped. We have all been groped and violated thousands of times in our lives. And meanwhile, the stories of women who have actually been groped and violated are buried somewhere under this

avalanche of brief, benign, non-sexual, incidental physical contact between human beings. As for the rest of it, Lindsay was encountering what, again, anybody who has set up any kind of camera outside of any college or professional sporting event has encountered. The crazy thing is you can see in her face from the beginning that she has no patience for any noise at all. She doesn't appear to want to be there to begin with, and as soon as people start walking past, she's fuming mad. But she's the one who set up the camera exactly where thousands of people will be walking.

This is like a guy from the Weather Channel reporting live from the beach during a hurricane and whining the whole time because his hair is getting. went. It's like if I tried to make a phone call while sitting in the stands at a NASCAR race, like, hang on a second. Hey, fellas, can you pump the brakes for a minute? I'm trying to have a conversation here. Of course, that's not to say that reporters can't or shouldn't report live from stadiums, it's just to say that they should be ready to match the volume, intensity, and exuberance of the crowd in the background. And I certainly don't want to claim that this is one of the reasons why men make better sports reporters.

I don't want to claim that. So I'm not going to claim that. Instead, I'll just show you an example of how it's supposed to be done. Watch this. It's been 644 days since the last time Williams Price did not have restrictions as to how many fans

could be in their stadium. But that ends tonight. And while that ends, a new chapter begins, as Shane Beamer begins his new era as the head football coach at the University of South Carolina. Hello, everyone, and welcome to The fratlots here at the University of South Carolina, I'm Mike Cuba, and it is game day

something Gamecock fans have been waiting for for quite some time, and look, there's a lot of storylines we can talk about. We can talk about how Shane Beans making his debut. We can talk about how Eric Kimbrey, the former Gamecock quarterback, the coach that him these last couple of years is making his debut as an assistant coach. But perhaps, perhaps the biggest storyline is the fact that you have a former grad assistant coach, Seth Nolan. Way and under center tonight as the starting quarterback.

Early in the week, we had a chance to be able to catch up with both said and Coach Bieber. Wow. Now, that was Fox reporter Mike Uva, who, in fairness to Lindsay. Mike is putting on an absolute clinic in that broadcast that few sports reporters could fully match. And before you say that this was different because nobody physically touched him, here he is broadcasting from a bar during March Madness a few years ago. Here's a better example. Watch this.

People are a little bit excited. you know, they're a little excited. Covered in beer, people grabbing onto his back and his shoulders. Lindsay would be in counseling for a year after that experience. I want to see Lindsay in that environment. She would break down in tears. She'd be telling stories about the trauma to her grandchildren 40 years from now. And who knows how the story would evolve by then?

Now, I was trying to do a live shot from the bar and all these basketball fans with machetes and chainsaw started hacking me to pieces. Maybe not literally, metaphorically, there are metaphorical chainsaws. Now, it wouldn't be fair to say that all female sports reporters are like Lindsay. But even so, I must say, this situation only demonstrates why I personally prefer for sports broadcasts, especially football broadcasts, to be handled mostly by men. Lindsay, though, worse than the average, even as far as female sports reporters go, is definitely not the only female to enter into this mostly male space and seek to feminize.

it. She wants the football stadium to be quiet and gentle, considerate, respectful of personal space. She wants it to be a more feminine environment. She's not trying to assimilate herself into the culture of football fans. She is rather hoping that they assimilate themselves to her. This is a problem across our culture. Sports just happen to be an area where the problem is especially pronounced and obvious. Females enter into areas that have typically catered and mostly belong to men. And then often quite successfully, they try to change them, to emasculate them, and thereby destroy the primary reason for their existence in the first place. This phenomenon is so far reaching in football, especially, that they're even changing the rules now to make the game itself more gentle

and feminine. Football is, you know, still violent, but it's less violent than it used to be. This year, they're even focusing on penalizing players who say mean or rude things to each other on the football field. They've been doing this during the preseason in the NFL. All of this, along with the token female sideline reporters and the female analysts at halftime, it's an effort to make the game less appealing to the people the game was invented for to begin with. Now, meanwhile, it should be acknowledged, women are experiencing the same problem in the reverse. Female spaces are being invaded by men, often the most private spaces, like locker rooms, for example. But it's a different kind of invasion.

Not better. It's actually worse, but it's different. because the men invading female spaces do try to assimilate themselves, but they assimilate themselves too much. They assimilate themselves to the point of pretending to actually be women. And the effect ultimately is that women don't just lose their spaces. As men have lost ours, they also lose their identity in the process. So it's a big confused mess, all in all. And it all starts from the incorrect assumption that there is something wrong with men and women having their own spaces.

their own interests, their own identities. Sports reporter Lindsay didn't create this problem, but she is just one more example of it. And for that reason, she is today, I must say, canceled. Back to school season is upon us, and while many American kids are excited to get back into the classroom, many others are not, because these children don't know where their meals are becoming from this semester. That's why Good Ranchers has made it their mission to donate 100,000 high-quality meals to kids facing food insecurity and malnourishment this fall semester. for every box ordered through the month of August.

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As Yahoo Finance reports, the very unaptly named Better Choice Company has launched a new ad campaign for its Halo dog food brand. And here's the marketing pitch, according to Yahoo, it says, quote, let's face it, pets are the world's best kids. That's why Better Choice Company, a pet health and wellness company, unveils its new marketing campaign to celebrate pet parenthood. The new Halo Pet Campaign sets out to validate and empower the new generation of pet moms. The campaign launches in support of the company's new brand Halo Elevate, a super premium natural pet food backed by science. Millennials are delaying having children. They are, however, enthusiastically embracing pet parenthood with 76% of millennials owning a pet. The new campaign from Halo is speaking to these pet moms and saying, we see you, we get you, we are you.

Now, if I was a narcissist, I might think that this ad campaign was made specifically to annoy me personally, because it's got all of the elements there. And those suspicions are not much allayed by the actual ad itself, which we will watch now. Halo makes the world's best food for the world's best kids. No, not that kid. This kid. You can leave this kid alone for 10 minutes and they won't destroy your house. With these kids, you can actually sleep in. And shopping never ends in tears. Ezra, Ezra, please. Maybe being a human parent is overrated.

So if you're going to have a kid make it a furry one and feed them Halo elevate. Natural science-based nutrition for their optimal health. Halo, the world's best food for the world's best kids. Okay, where to begin? I don't deny that having kids is actually more difficult than having a dog, and we'll get to that in a moment. But first of all, dogs don't destroy your house or wake you up. What? I find it a bit concerning that nobody at this dog food company has ever actually met a dog, apparently. In fact, dogs tend to be way more destructive than children. They also can be significantly noisier and more annoying. My kids have never eaten my boots or gnawed on the legs of my couch or chewed on the carpet. My kids don't eat out of the trash. My kids don't poop on the floor, usually. My kids don't wake me up in the middle of the night barking. I don't have to take my kids. kids outside of the dead of winter and stand there waiting for them to take a dump in the grass,

none of my kids have ever vomited on the kitchen tile and then tried to eat it. Dog has done that, though, multiple times. I came home a few days ago, and someone in the house had torn into my bookshelf and eaten two of my favorite books. Guess who did that? Wasn't my kids, I can tell you. Now I'm starting to wonder actually what kind of kids these people have encountered. You know what my kids can do? They can clean up after themselves. Okay, sure, it does take a lot of of coaching and often I have to deploy various methods of encouragement, shall we say, to get them to clean up. But you can actually raise your kids to clean up after themselves. A dog will never

do that. If a dog like picks up a shoe in his mouth and walks it over to the other side of the room, right, and drops it there, everybody will applaud. Oh, look at the dog. He's so great. It would take the dog about 19 hours to clean a whole room at that pace. My kids can do it in at least 18 hours. My kids can do other things too. Like they can pour their own bowls of cereal in the morning. They can bathe themselves. In fact, they can do literally thousands of things that the dog cannot do and will never be able to do. And as my kids get older, they'll become even more self-sufficient while my dog will still be barking at leaves and crapping all over the place. But here's the main difference between my children and the dog.

They are my children. The dog is not my child. He's a dog. I'm not the parent of my dog. And you are not the parent of your dog. So stop saying that you are. You are not a dog mommy. Do you know who your dog's mommy is? Another dog. There's a dog that maided with another dog and had a dog and that dog gave birth to your dog and that dog is your dog's mommy. You didn't mate with a dog and have a dog. I sure hope you didn't. Okay? Not only are you not your pet's parent, but in fact your relationship with and to your pet bears no resemblance at all to the relationship a parent has with and to their actual human child. Aside from all the many functional differences between dogs and kids, the other major difference is that within a human nuclear family, there's an opportunity for a

loving bond which far surpasses anything you will ever experience with any other human, much less a mangy four-legged beast. I love my kids in a way that I could never love an animal. I know them in a way that I could never know an animal. I was there with them when they were born. I've cared for them every moment of their lives. I've gotten to know them more deeply as time has gone on. We can talk and have conversations. We can share experiences on a much deeper and more meaningful level than you can share

any experience with a dog. My children have brought me great joy. More joy than any animal can bring. They also can make me much angrier and more frustrated than any animal can make me. But that's only because they are human beings. They are complex. They can be rebellious and strong-willed. They're self-aware.

They have their own ideas about the world. My dog has no ideas about anything. He's an idiot and always will be. It is much more complicated to discipline a child, right? And there's more at stake. So if you fail as a parent, your child might become a monster who inflicts unimaginable suffering on himself and the world. If you fail as a dog owner, your dog might bite the mailman or whatever. Does this mean that it's better to own dogs because it's easier?

No. It means that owning dogs is simpler and easier in some respects, but also much less important. There's much less potential for greatness and for love in its fullest and deepest form. Just as you could climb a mountain or you could sit on your butt and watch TV. A lot less can go wrong watching TV. It's easier and takes less effort. Does that mean it's better to watch TV? Does that mean that you should never climb any mountains, whether literally or metaphorically?

Sure, if you want to live a shallow and meaningless life, but here's the thing, if you avoid the difficult things in life, you also are avoiding the greatest joys and most fulfilling and most meaningful experiences that life has to offer. This is the bargain you make when you elect to be a dog parent, quote unquote, instead of a real parent. And if your goal is just to be comfortable and live with ease, then why not get an ant farm instead of a dog? Why not stick with a goldfish or a pet rock? because the further you go down the intelligence and self-awareness ladder, the easier it is to be a parent, quote, unquote, of those kinds of creatures. But there's also far less potential, again, for love, for joy, for purpose, for meaning. And Lord willing, my kids will grow older, and long after my dog dies, my kids will start having kids of their own. And their kids will have kids. And eventually I will die. And as I'm laying on my deathbed, I will know and take comfort in the fact that my children are a lot.

live. They'll be there for me in my final days, just as I was there in their first days. I'm not going to be thinking about my dead dog in those moments. This dog I have now will have been replaced five or six times over by then, but my legacy will live on in my children and in theirs. My blood will run through their veins. We'll be connected forever in this life and the next. That's parenthood, not pet ownership. Now, this perhaps has gotten a little too serious for a conversation that began with a dog food commercial, but as you may have noticed, there are a few things I hate more than when people act as though pets are equivalent to children. They are not.

And that is why the Better Choice Dog Food Company is today canceled. We've talked a little bit about the unintended consequences, the trade-offs, you know, when it comes to efforts by the climate alarmists and the environmentalists to supposedly save the planet. Here's another one. This is from the Daily Wire. It says, A law to conserve a species of fish may have inadvertently led to a recent uptick in shark attacks in the state of New York. Experts interviewed by the New York Post said that sharks are returning to the waters off Long Island Sound because of a boom in the population of Atlantic Menhaden. I think it's how you pronounce the species of fish, which is a species of fish native to the area. That means sharks have been approaching Long Island beaches and the process have been coming dangerously close to it, and in some cases, biting beachgoers.

and there have been, according to the executive director of the South Fork Natural History Museum Shark Research and Education Program, the reason why people are interacting with sharks more often this year, and more than last year, is because of the conservation efforts.

And I think it said there have been, I say there have been six beachgoers who have been victim to shark attacks already so far this summer in New York. By the way, I love that euphemism for, and I like that there are people out there doing some PR cover for sharks by saying it's an interaction. I had an interesting interaction with a shark today. And you show your bloody stump of a leg. Now, you might expect that my take here

will be that the fish conservation was a bad idea because now humans are suffering from shark attacks because of it. But I'm going to surprise you and say, no, that's actually not my opinion. That's not my take because the reason is that it's hard for me to sympathize with shark attack victims at all. Because the act of getting into the ocean is such a strange thing to me. It's one of the strangest behaviors that humans engage in is to get into the ocean. You've got this massive vat of water, hundreds of feet deep, pummeling, the shore violently with waves, this deep, dark, salty pool of death filled with man-eating monsters and other beasts unknown to us. We don't even know everything that's down there. We just know

that it's hideous and monstrous looking. And you're floating around and you have all of that death underneath you. It's impossible to know exactly what's lurking under the surface. And our response is to get into it. And then the word is, Worst are people that, like, if you're, if you're, if you surf or something, then I can, it's not my thing, but okay, that's a recreational activity I can sort of understand. It does look sort of fun to do. But most people who get into the ocean, they don't even do anything. They just kind of like stand there and let the salty water pummel them in the face for 45 minutes and then they get out. It's a very odd behavior. So you are, look, when you get into the ocean, you are getting in, that's where the sharks live. This is their home. They can't live anywhere else. In fact, fairness to them. So you are entering into the home, you are knocking on the door of Mr. Shark and saying, may I come in? And that's, when you look at it like that, it just doesn't make a lot of sense.