The Matt Walsh Show - Walsh Vintage Dating Advice

Episode Date: April 3, 2021

Matt Walsh reviews a dating advice video from the 1940s. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

So this should be a lot of fun, hopefully edifying for all of us. We talk a lot about, we do a lot of dating advice stuff. So I thought today we're going to take a look at a dating advice video, which originally was filmed, I think, in 1949. We know that these days people have no idea what to do. And that's very clear in some of the videos we've done. People have no idea what to do on the dating scene. Let's go back to 1949.

That was back when they believed in chivalry and self-respect and etiquette, you know. There were no dating apps. There was no Tinder chat. No snap bumble. If you wanted to date, you had to ride your horse to the next town, a five days journey, then kill the bandits who had kidnapped her. That's what you had to do, at least in my imagination. Let's check out this old-timey dating PSA.

And let's get the real scoop on dating. Let's see. That? Yes, the ticket he told me about. Well, let's see what he has to say. Here's the latest on my broken ankle. Doc says I'll be all right Only I have to stay off my feet

For a week or so Okay, I don't just to stop it there for a second I don't mean to be rude But why is the kid reading like it's the first time he's encountered The written word in his life Today, junior Uh Maybe he's struggling because it's cursive

The biggest waste of time in school is they made us learn cursive And then I graduated And then I discovered that nobody in actual adult human life ever writes incursive. They may as well have made us become fluent in like hieroglyphics or something. One couple. That means a date. Okay, now wait a second. The high teen carnival? What kind of debauchery is this? I thought we'd get something wholesome from the 1940s. You can let your kid go on a date to a carnival full of high teens. And the high part is, I mean, it's kind of redundant. Everybody is high at a carnival. We already know that, especially the people operating.

the rides. Like the guy running the ride is blitzed out of his skull and you're putting your four-year-old onto this spinning metal death trap. You're putting your child's life in this man's hands. Not a smart thing to do. But this video is taking a scandalous turn. I'm already a little bit disappointed. I was expecting something more buttoned up than this. How do you choose a date? Whose company would you enjoy? Well, one thing you can consider is looks. Woody thought of Janice and how good looking she was. Yes, he'd enjoy that. Except, well, it's too bad Janice always acts so superior and bored. She'd make a fellow feel awkward and inferior. Well, perhaps someone who doesn't feel superior. There's Betty. And yet, it just doesn't seem as if

she'd be much fun. What about Anne? She knows how to have a good time, and how to make the a fellow with her, relax, have fun too. Yes, that's what a boy likes. He wants to know he's appreciated and would be fun on a date. Okay, I got to say, now, I, here's what I like so far. I like that all the onus is being put on the women to impress the man. That's the way it should be. For legal reasons, that's a joke. For legal reasons, that's a joke. I like how we're ranking the different kinds of women. You're never going to find this kind of thing these days. Here's what I don't like, these kids are way too young to be dating in the first place. You shouldn't be dating until you're at least 25, 30 years old, at the youngest.

Second, Anne here, who gets chosen, has the manners of a damned barn animal chomping away at the cotton candy. It's disgusting, chewing with her mouth open. No decorum, no class. I'm shocked that these kinds of manners were considered appropriate in the 1940s. The correct response as a gentleman, if you're dating a lady who eats like that, It's say, excuse me, ma'am, your manner of eating repulses me. Leave my presence.

This is dating 101. When I was single, I had at least 12 first dates end that way. You know, speaking of kids in the 1940s dating, what you never want to have to say is that your home got stolen. Like mine did. My home was stolen. I'm holding a copy of the legal title to my home in my hand. This piece of paper could not be anything but. This is proof that it's a legal title of my home.

And my signature on it is on it. It says that I sold my home, even though I didn't. Luckily, this is just a demo, though, from home title log. Here's how cyber criminals get you. The title documents to our homes are kept online. The thief forges your signature on a quit claim deed stating that you sold your home and he's the new owner. You never know until it's too late and you've got the late payment or

eviction notices are arriving. That's why I have home title lock. The instant home title lock detects someone tampering with my home's title and help shut it down. Let's get you protected. Go to hometitlelock.com and register your address to see if you're already a victim and enter Walsh for 33 days of protection. That's promo code Walsh at hometitlelock.com. The 1940s are dropping the ball so far, but let's give it another shot.

Let's watch again. Oh, mom, is it all right with you if I have a date Saturday night? Well, of course, you generally go out on Saturdays. Hello, may I speak to Mary, please? But, Mom, this is different. A date? I well I haven't asked her yet but I'd like to take Aunt Davis to the high-teen carnival Oh, Anne's a nice girl but a date.

Well, you're rather young. Oh, mom, get him a break. I think he can swing it. We all have to start sometime. Well, if you don't overdo on dating, Ed knows what I mean, weekends only and not too late. So what's going on here? Both boys are talking back, mouthing off to their mother. What kind of respect? Is this what we call respect? Where is the father coming in with his belt?

Ready to fix some attitudes, the old-fashioned way. That's what I would expect to see here. Speaking of father, why hasn't the father been consulted about this date at all? Why isn't Anne's father being consulted? The proper way to get a date is to bring gifts of silver and gold to the lady's father and ask for permission to court his daughter. If you get the okay and then the courtship will last for about four days and then you get married. That's the way that things are, that's the way I assume things were done.

Not this liberal nonsense we're seeing in the video. It's a shame. Just a damn shame. Look at that. High jinks, frivolity, dancing, hot dogs, totally inappropriate, unacceptable behavior. We these kids should all be home engaged in vigorous study and reflection. Now we see how we ended up where we are today, right? We see the slippery slope because first you got you got kids dancing out of a

carnival and next thing you know, WAP is the number one song of 2020. It's not hard to see the trajectory. But feeling it's going to get a lot worse now. So that's the date. And now we get to the end of the night. And let's see what advice the 1940s can give us for how to end a date. How do you say good night? Or it could go this way. Well, so long. Just like that. After all, a girl likes to know you've had a good time. So let's try. Saying good night again. One more way. Well, it's getting late.

Yes, it is. I'd ask you in for a bike to eat if it was so late. Um, let's plan to get home in time for a sandwich or something next time. Say, that sounds good. I'll call you next week. Will you? Well, thanks so much. I had loads of fun.

So did I. Good night, Woody. Night, Anne. No. wrong. See, the appropriate way to say good night is to walk the lady to the door, no later than 3 o'clock in the afternoon. Shake her hand and say, have a pleasant afternoon, and then turn her out and walk away quickly. Nothing suggestive, like kissing, smiling, laughing. I have to say that the advice here turns out to be far too progressive for my taste. I always thought, you know,

I should have been born in the 1940s. I think I should have been born in the 1240s. I thought we get something wholesome here, and I apologize that we didn't. What we get instead is pure, unadulterated hedonism.