The Matt Walsh Show - Who's The Biggest A-Hole? Episode 2

Episode Date: November 5, 2022

Who is the biggest A-hole? Matt Walsh decides between three reddit users who took to the subreddit Am I The A**hole. See all of our exciting content on DailyWire+ here: https://www.dailywire.com/subscribe-plus Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

A close friend of mine was visiting last week and stayed at my house. Yesterday we went out for a few hours and I wore heels and encouraged her to wear a cute pair of heels as well. By the time we got back, our feet were in a lot of pain. My boyfriend gave me a foot massage, as he always does whenever my feet hurt. And my friend asks him for one as well, but I didn't feel comfortable with that. And I didn't feel comfortable with that I didn't feel upset. She said that I was an a-hole for leaving her in pain and that I was the one who gave her the idea to wear heels for that long. But I just didn't feel comfortable with my boyfriend giving another woman a foot rub.

Am I the A-hole? Well, you are the A-hole only for taking your nasty feet out and asking for a foot rub in full view of another person. You've been walking around all day in heels, and then you pull your feet out and take your sock off. I guess we're probably wearing socks and wearing heels. And you're showing those off in front of somebody else. Feet are disgusting.

Should never be seen by anybody other than your podiatrist. Oh, suck a dick. But don't worry, your friend is even worse. She not only wanted to take her feet out, but actually was soliciting someone else's boyfriend to rub them? What kind of freak are you hanging out with? The foot massage is nothing. I get my mother a foot massage.

It's bad enough that you asked your boyfriend to rub your feet. Did you mean wash your feet first? Did you take a shower first before you made this request? But for her, it's even more perverse. And her reason is that she wore heels. Well, whose fault is that? I don't like to hear some of these complaints from women about, it's so hard.

We have to wear heels and it makes our feet hurt. That's your decision. High heels are across that women are meant to bear with stoicism and dignity. Am I the A-hole for not allowing my brother and his wife to stay over in our family vacation house if they bring the dogs? Don't need to read the story here.

You are not, you are not the A-hole. Quite the opposite. I'm going to say this because no one else will. I'm not in A-Shole. No one should try to bring their mangy mutts into somebody else's house. It's bad enough to have them in your own house. But to bring him someone, that's almost as bad as exposing your feet.

He did tell you about the feet. That's why I also don't get back to the feet thing for a second. You know the people that are like, they want you to take your shoes off in their house? That, we don't do that in our house. First of all, it's weird. The second someone walks into your house, you're telling them to take off items of clothing. How far is this going to go? Strip.

And also, no, I don't want to see. I don't even, like, you're just coming in my house. I don't want to see your feet. I don't know where you've been this whole time. But anyway, taking the shoes off, that's almost as bad as bringing the dog in. And here's my question. My question. Like, why do we give dog special treatment in general in life?

But when it comes to this, like when it comes to pets, if I had a free-range tarantula that I let crawl around my house and then I came to your house and I said, oh, I brought my tarantial, I hope you don't mind. And I just let it loose in your living room. Okay, you'd probably be upset about that. How is this different? What if I wanted to bring my kangaroo to your house or my pet crocodile? No, you would say. What are you doing bringing animals into my house? I invited you over.

You're a human. I didn't invite any... This isn't a zoo. I don't make an exception for dogs. I don't. Don't be an issue. I acknowledge as a father and husband that a lot of things that were singularly mine

just before now aren't. Wife steals my clothes. Wife and kids steal my food. Kids steal my phone. The stealing the clothes thing is that's really a thing. I mean, all this is a thing. This is stuff that wife and kids do. The stealing clothes thing,

that's when I didn't quite... expect ahead of time. Like my wife and I are not the same size, thankfully. And but she, she'll like take my sweatpants. She'll take my, you know, my slippers. She's always stealing those. They don't fit her at all. They're also gross. Like, why would you want to wear my slippers? Have you seen my feet? Speaking of feet. Enough. Um, anyway, they steal all these things and usually I'm fine with it, but I just needed one thing to myself without hurting feelings and making someone cry because everybody is sensitive in this house, including me. I bought a single serve piece of cake and ate it in my car without any wife sneaking bits or kids licking the chocolate from the top. Unfortunately, I got caught.

My wife is upset with me for going so far as to eat cake while hiding in my car and called me dramatic when I told her my reasoning, am I the a-hole? No, you're not remotely the a hole. Not at all. Fuck you. Fuck you. You as the man of the house have a right to eat some damned cake every once in a while without a bunch of piranhas swarming you and nibbling at it. You're only mistake was eating the cake, I guess, did you eat it in the car at your own house, like in your driveway? You snuck out? That's a rookie move. You don't do that. Or did she discover the packaging or something like that? No. What you do is you go and you get the cake or whatever snack you want at the store or the restaurant. You eat it in the parking lot. And this is why in any

restaurant, store parking lot, you look around in pretty much any parking lot anytime, you're going to see men alone in cars eating. This is a thing that we do. It's the one place we get some peace and quiet. It's our sanctuary. And so you eat in the car and then you throw away the evidence and then you drive home. I've been through this many time. I have snacks in my house that are supposed to be just for me. So I have to hide them. You can also do that. But that's a tough, that can be a tough move sometimes. But you hide your snacks like sacred artifacts. You hide them away. For example, I really enjoy fruit snacks. Yes, I like fruit snacks as a grown man. What of it? Got something to say about that? I do like fruit snacks. I like the Mots fruit snacks or Scooby-Doo. Don't bring any of Welsh's

shit around me. I don't eat that. But if I bring a box of fruit snacks home, my kids will consume the entire thing, including the box, within an hour. So I have to hide it. I have to like climb a mountain and bury it up there or descend into a cavern, into a cave like Gallum. If anyone comes into the cave and wants a fruit snack. I have to ask them three riddles. You know, it's a whole thing. It's weird. Anyway, you're not the A-hole. Not at all. You do the right thing. You just, you're incompetent in this case. You'll get better with time for your own sake. You have to. Holiday season is rapidly approaching. And if there's one thing, I love more than spending the holidays with my family. It's spending the holidays with my family while eating delicious

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