The Matt Walsh Show - Who's The Biggest A-Hole? Episode 3

Episode Date: November 18, 2022

Get 3 Months of ExpressVPN FREE! https://www.expressvpn.com/walshyt Who is the biggest A-hole? Matt Walsh decides between three reddit users who took to the subreddit Am I The A**hole. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I'll preface this by saying that my son, Tim, recently got married to his now wife, Sarah. We get along just fine as a family, though she tends to act passive aggressively sometimes. She loves food and is always open to trying my cooking. She said my cooking was amazing, though she made a few negative comments about certain meals and advised me to use XYZ ingredients next time. Who are these people? So she sat down to have your meal and said, oh, this is great, but next time you should try that ingredient. Who does that?

I invited them over for Thanksgiving yesterday. The whole family was there. The bell rang and I opened the door to see Tim and Sarah. Sarah was carrying what seemed to be a container. I didn't ask about it nor paid much attention to it. Everybody sat down to eat after I set up the table and put dinner on it. My main dish was the traditional Thanksgiving dish. Every family in our community knows.

I had appetizers and side dishes and, of course, salad and dessert. Sarah then put the container on the table and started unloading food onto her empty plate. Everybody was watching as my eyes widened up. I asked what she was doing and she said that she brought her own food to eat since she won't eat what I... She doesn't want to eat what I cooked. I was stunned and I politely asked if there was a reason for that and she shook her head. I asked if she was vegan. She said no.

I asked if she was allergic to anything at the table. She said no. I asked if she was having an upset stomach or anything. She said no. She just sat with a smug smile and which set me off. And then anyway, okay, then it goes on and on and on. and this ungrateful daughter-in-law eats her own meal at the table while the son just sits there. Okay.

So yeah, Sarah's an asshole. But I put the blame on your son, Tim, really. I think he's the bigger asshole here. Because what kind of husband allows his wife to bring a Tupperware container with her own meal to his parents' Thanksgiving dinner? I mean, there are times when you put your foot down as a man, and this is definitely one of them. Although, if you got to this point, it probably means that you've never put your foot down. one time, and that's very obvious from this. You're leaving for Thanksgiving dinner,

and you see your wife holding a container of food. And I could see asking, like, oh, is that your contribution to the meal? Are you bringing it? No, that's just for me. Oh, you're joking, right? This is one of your crazy practical jokes, right? That's very funny.

No, no, no, I'm serious. Okay, well, then you're a lunatic, and I'm calling an insane asylum. Here's what we're going to do. You put that damn container down, or I swear to God, I will have you admitted to an asylum. Put that coffee down. That's conflict resolution in a marriage.

Okay? That's what you do. You asshole. First one, it says, my husband, and then in parentheses it is Asian. My husband, Asian, and I, American, welcomed our firstborn four weeks ago. The baby is healthy, thank God, but I'm exhausted.

My husband's family had been pressuring us to visit to meet the baby. Yesterday, I was surprised to find them standing on the porch. I was embarrassed and felt like I wasn't ready for visitors because the house was a N-E-S-S-S-E-S-E. A mess, y'all. A mess. Later I asked my husband if we should order takeout for dinner. He said no, because his parents would find this rude and unwelcoming.

He suggested that I go inside the kitchen and prepare something. I said, fine, then went and made some mac and cheese. Once I served the family, my husband's mom, he asked if I really found it appropriate to serve her in the family mac and cheese. I hate macaroni and cheese. We had an argument and they decided to go home. My husband said that deciding to serve his family mac and cheese was more offensive than serving them nothing at all.

In my the A-hole, what's wrong with mac and cheese? Wow, okay. So this husband, here's the note, guys. He's going to help? I got a note, Pad. You want to give your wife like at least a week's notice. If you're giving her a day, it's going to be a problem. But they're here right now. The house is a mess. You can't, you can't do that. You cannot do that. If you want to have a happy marriage, you just cannot do things like that. Then again, you know, it's easy for me to say because I'm never in temp, I'm never really tempted to invite guests over for dinner. in the first place. So that's not something I ever really, I never want to do that anyway. So I've never been tempted in that direction. But if I were going to do it, and on the, on the

rare occasion when I do, you know, you can never give too much notice. If you can give a year's notice for that, that's probably best. But I kind of like these kinds of questions because this is one where I get to say you're all A-holes, actually. You are all FI-Os. Now, obviously, your mother-in-law and husband are A-holes, imposing yourself on somebody, especially a mother with a baby, expecting a feast. One of my absolute unwavering non-negotiable principles is that you never complain about food that has been served to you. This is why we don't have picky eaters in my house. Picky eaters are a social construct.

They are made not born. My kids will eat anything, anything we serve them, because that's the only option we've ever given them. You are going to finish your dozen. But I also have to unfortunately give you a demerit for serving mac and cheese. Yes, they should have eaten it without complaint. but I can complain because I'm not there. So I'm not beholden to that rule. And as an outside observer, I can say that mac and cheese is for children.

More mac and cheese? Just keep it going. Keep it going. Don't be afraid of the burned edges. Just give me the tray. There should be no room on an adult's plate for mac and cheese. There's so many better, more sophisticated side options. So you're all going to be eight holes for that one.

My two daughters are vegetarian, but my husband and son are not. I'm probably what they would call a flexitarian. Well, you're definitely the asshole. I already know that you're the assholes. based on that alone. A flexitarian? So what does that mean? You're flexible, you'll eat meat or vegetables. Is that what you mean by flexitarian? So you're just a person? You're a normal person like the rest of us? You don't need to call it with new labels for everything. You're not, it's not, you didn't invent something new. I'm a fooditarian, you know, because I, my, my thing is that I eat food. You know, I don't, if it's not food, I don't eat it.

I'm a walk on the grounditarian. You know, because I generally, I only walk on things that are to the ground. Anyway, where were you? My son and husband always turn out their noses at tofu or any other meat alternatives. They say it's just weird that it's made to resemble real meat, so it's really the concept and not the taste. There are no allergies. My family and I often make two versions of dinner, one meat, one real, and twice the amount of pots and pans. There is an equal distribution of cleaning and cooking in this house, thankfully. My daughter's had a fun prank idea of making two pots of spaghetti.

under the pretense that one was meat, but they were both the soy ground beef. The goal here was to see if their brother and father actually hated the meat, that is the fake meat, and to see if we could maybe save some dishes and time in the future. Everyone loved dinner, both husband and son finished their plates. This was when my youngest couldn't hold it in anymore and told them. They both got very upset about being fed something other than what they were told. Reddit, am I the asshole? So they made soy meat, which is not, that's like that doesn't actually exist.

Just like when they, when you hear about coconut milk or almond milk, that's not actually milk. Milk by definition is a dairy product. That's a coconut secretion is what it should say on the carton. There's no such thing as soy meat. That's just, it's fake. So they made a soy thing in two pots and they said that one was meat. And they said that they were feeding that to the husband and son, but it was really the soy and they couldn't tell the difference. Now, Reddit has declared that this woman is the a-hole.

Yes, you are the a-hole. You are the a-hole. You shouldn't ever lie to somebody about what you're feeding them. So that makes you an a-hole. But I actually think you're an a-hole for a different reason. You expect me to believe that you made a meat sauce with soy beef. And then your son and husband, who are big, long-time meat eaters, they couldn't tell that it wasn't real meat. That's bullshit.

Sorry, I just, I don't believe it. That's gorgon, shit. Total gorgon. I've had meat substitutes before just purely out of morbid curiosity, and they always taste like a fertilizer and sadness. What does it taste like? Despair? Okay, they taste fraudulent, always.

And by the way, if you have an ethical problem with meat, then why are you eating food made to taste like it? That's the other thing I don't understand. I have a problem with this. I don't want to eat meat. I think it's immoral, but I want my food to taste. taste like the thing that's immoral? It just doesn't make a less sense to me. You know, sending data over an unencrypted internet connection is like sending a postcard.

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