The Matt Walsh Show - Who's The Biggest A-Hole? Episode 8

Episode Date: March 13, 2023

Who is the biggest A-hole? Matt Walsh decides between two reddit users who took to the subreddit Am I The A**hole. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I work a pretty standard day job, and at night I helped my friend at her restaurant, which serves an assortment of Thai cuisine. To be honest, I'm insanely picky, but I fell in love with this peanut sauce. So about once a week, I take it on either noodles or stir fry to my day job for lunch. Thursday, I took my noodles and my entire Tupperware was missing. Today, my boss confronted me and accused me of poisoning my noodles because his daughter, one of the new girls, borrowed my lunch and had to be hospitalized. Turns out she has severely allergic to nuts, and she ate some, and boom, she went into anaphylactic shock and had to be hospitalized. Now her dad is trying to hold me accountable for her bills and condition. So am I the asshole?

Well, obviously your co-worker and boss are A-Holes here. Is that a thing people actually do? And I hear about this complaint a lot. Like this is apparently, it's a thing. You bring your food in and someone steals it. I can't even. My God. What have we become?

Steal someone's lunch from the fridge? That's sociopath behavior. If someone do that to me, I'd probably, I'd like burn down their house. Burn it down. And then to do that, when you have a food allergy is just another level of stupid, which is why, like, this is a good lesson here. If you're an adult. I'm listening. With food allergies. That is not something you can impose on other people. I'm sorry you have that problem, and it can be a serious problem,

but it is yours. Younger kids are different. But with adults, we have this thing with food allergies now where it's like, I'm allergic to peanuts. And so any room I walk into, there should be no peanuts anywhere. I should be, I should have a 50-mile radius peanut-free. Doesn't work that way. You have to figure out, like some of the other problems we can have in life, even when they're legitimate problems, you have to figure out how to navigate life with that problem. That's on you. All that said, the person who wrote this is also, I think, in another way, the a hole as well. Of course, you never steal your co-worker's lunch out of the fridge. But also, you never bring a lunch that has a pungent odor to it. If I'm walking in the break room, why should I have to smell your disgusting peanut sauce? So, another situation where everybody involved is the A-hole. I am married to my husband, and we have two kids.

We are vegans. I am for ethical reasons. My husband is allergic to dairy, and so is my three-year-old. Okay, I'm going to cut it off right there. You are the asshole. I don't even need to know the entire story. Vegans on Thanksgiving are always the assholes. Same with every other time of year, in fact.

Oh, God, you're such an asshole. And I don't want to hear about ethical. reasons. See, you won't eat dairy because of ethic. You don't think we should get milk from cows. Why? What else should we do with the cow's milk? Oh, yes! The cows exist. What are we going to do with the cows, first of all? Like, do you want us to just release them into the wild? What, all of these cows that, I mean, I know you can say it's, it's unethical that we have all the dairy farms and everything. It's so terrible that we've enslaved all these cows. What do you want us to do with them? Just release them into the Serengeti? I mean, bring them down to the Amazon, just

like release them into the neighborhoods, kill them all, dump them into the ocean. Like we have them. They need to be milked. And then what do you do with the milk? You might as well drink it. Why not drink it? Why not make cheese out of it? And also, what about the lives of the plants that you're eating? The lettuce that you're eating is a living thing, vegans. It has hopes and dreams and ambitions and feelings. And you ruthlessly chop it up and stick a fork in and chomp on it while it screams silently in pain, which you ignore those screams. Take a head of iceberg lettuce, make sure the core is pointing down and slam it. So don't come to me talking about ethical concerns, especially on Thanksgiving.

You should all be in prison as well.