The Mello Millionaire with Tommy Mello - The Art of True Grit and High-Performance Leadership with Carlos Mendez

Episode Date: August 15, 2025

In this conversation, Carlos Mendez, a former Navy SEAL and current leadership instructor at Echelon Front, shares his journey from military service to the business world. He emphasizes the importance of emotional detachment in decision-making, the value of grit, and the significance of building relationships in both personal and professional life. Mendez discusses his experiences in the SEAL teams, the lessons learned from leadership, and the challenges of balancing work and family life. He also highlights the role of AI in the future of work and the importance of prioritizing and executing tasks effectively.Meet me at Home Service Freedom 2025 ⟶ https://homeservicefreedom.com/Check Out My Social Media:Tiktok  ⟶ https://www.tiktok.com/@officialtommymelloInstagram ⟶ https://www.instagram.com/officialtommymello/Facebook ⟶https://www.facebook.com/thomasmello/My other podcast:Home Service Expert ⟶ https://open.spotify.com/show/4WHQ3ldGThHsP1cfzNF33GLive Q&A submission form:https://homeserviceexpert.com/questions00:00 Emotional Detachment in Decision Making02:56 Carlos Mendez: A Journey from SEAL to Leadership05:47 Lessons from the SEAL Teams08:51 The Importance of Grit and Leadership12:03 Navigating Career Transitions14:58 Fatherhood and Life Lessons18:04 Prioritize and Execute: A Leadership Principle20:42 Building Relationships in Business21:49 Final Thoughts and Key Performance Indicators

As human beings, when we're overwhelmed, we tend to make emotional decisions, irrational decisions, because our emotions are so powerful. So what we teach here at Escalon Front is, hey, in order for you to be able to be an effective problem solver, an effective decision maker, and think strategically, you have to detach from your emotions. Resilient, courageous, driven. Our guest today is a battle-tested Navy SEAL leader who's operated in the world's most dangerous environments and trained the next generation to do the same. Carlos Mendes began his naval career as a combat medic with the Marines,

completing early deployments before joining SEAL Team 1. On the Navy SEAL's team, he served as a sniper, medic, and primary point man. When you're talking to team guys, you better be squared away. He deployed multiple times to hotspots like Iraq, Afghanistan, Southeast Asia, and Central America, rising through the ranks to serve as an officer at SEAL Team 3 and Special Reconnaissance Team 1. Having the humility to realize that you don't know the answer. That's number one. Carlos was hand-selected for the elite seaman to Admiral program,

an honor shared by legends like Jaco Willink and Johnny Kim. He later became the lead instructor for close quarter combat across all West Coast SEAL teams under Jocco's command. Carlos, thanks for joining us, man. Pleasure to be here. Carlos finished his military career as the executive officer of SEAL Training Command, before earning his MBA from UCLA and becoming an investment banker. Today, Carlos is a leadership instructor at Echelon Front.

Our inability to detach from our emotional, prevents us from building relationships. Get ready. This conversation will challenge how you think about discipline, leadership, and what it truly takes to win. I'm really excited you had an opportunity to do this today. I've been really looking forward to this all weekend. Just tell us a little bit about your early days and where you're at today and what you're excited about. Sure. How early are we trying to go back? What do you think shaped you for where you're at today and what the future holds? Okay. Yeah.

I probably had a pretty unconventional upbringing. I immigrated here to the United States when I was five years old with just my mom. My mom and I came over. My dad passed away when my mother was pregnant with me. So just seeing the incredible work ethic that she had, right, just to make things happen where, you know, she worked all day at the school with me. And then in the evening, she'd go and she'd clean houses and I'd be with her. But I always say, you know what?

All those things help shape me because they made me a very tough and competent, self-sufficient young man when I left. home. And I left home very early in life. I left at the age 16. After high school, I started working construction Monday through Friday. I worked at a pharmacy on the weekends. I saw the movie that changed my life. And it was Navy Seals with Charlie Sheen. Yeah. It's a great one. Yeah. So I remember seeing that movie and thinking, man, I don't know if this is an actual profession, but if it really is, this is what I want to do. So I went to the library because this is before Google, I started doing a bunch of research and I realized that this was a real profession that anybody could try out for.

And that was it, man. I quit both my jobs. I joined the Navy and the rest is history in terms of joining the SEAL teams. Being in the Navy just opened so many doors for me and taught me so much. In terms of going through the CO training, I realized that, you know what, dude, you don't have to be the most talented, right? You don't have to be the biggest, strongest, fastest, smartest. but one of the traits that I found will get you through is grit. Like just having grit, right?

That determination to get the job done no matter what, doing whatever it takes. Having that discipline, it'll set you aside from your peers, even if your peers are a lot more talented than you. At least in the SEAL teams, everything's a two-year rotation. So you're either rotating out of a leadership position or you're getting new leadership yourself. So you're getting to observe a ton of different style. of leadership. If I'm being honest, I probably learned the most from terrible leadership

because you're feeling the pain of it. You're like, dude, I don't want to do this. Like, I'm definitely going to do this different. And then obviously I had some amazing mentors in my life with Jocko being one of them. Being an instructor at the SEAL training detachment was an enormous learning experience for me. Being able to identify talent, I think, is probably the best trait anybody could have as a leader. And that means discipline, identifying people that look you in the eye, people that do what they say they're going to do, people that come in with a smile. You've seen the good, the bad and the ugly. Tell us first, what didn't you like about some of the leaders?

Maybe just too tough and didn't care? Or what do you think those attributes were? I think if I had to choose one, it would be emotionally unaware. EQ. They got the IQ, but they're messing the EQ. The EQ, yeah. Because here's the thing, if you don't understand how people are perceiving you, you may actually care. But the chances are that you're coming off as if you don't, right?

Because I have team leaders who I looked at and I'm like, man, that guy doesn't care. Does that guy really want the team to fail? Probably not. Does he care that the team wins? Of course he does. But maybe he just doesn't show it because he's just not emotionally aware of how he's coming off. So I would say that's probably the biggest one. Yeah.

So listen, it started in undergrad. You know, the Navy actually sent me to school to do knockout premed. And I hated it. I was going to these classes and I'm like, this is miserable. And I had an elective that I had to take. And I was like, you know, I want to take a finance class. So I sat in on that finance class and I loved it. And the part that I actually really love about finance now is that, yeah, it's about numbers.

But the finance game is actually about relationships. Right? Because there's, you know, are Lou really going to be able to give the client a much better interest rate? Are you really going to be able to give them that much more gains over this? You know what I mean? It's fairly even across the board. What's really going to set you aside is the ability to build relationships with people because

people trust you and they like you and they want to go with you. I actually really did enjoy the work. Like I enjoy murders and acquisitions. I enjoy looking at financial statements. I just didn't want to do it for 90 to 100 hours a week. in investment banking, they will get their pound of flesh from you. It is a very tough job. It's very consuming.

And it was then that I realized like, man, I'm not spending any time with my family. Because I'm building Excel models on the weekends until two, three in the morning. There were plenty of times where I pulled an all-nighter where I didn't sleep at all, holidays. I don't care. And so, yeah, it's cool. You're making good money. But, I mean, you don't have time to spend it. And you don't have time to spend with your family, which kind of, you know,

defeats the purpose of wanting to make money so that you can enjoy it with your family. So what did you pivot to if you were sick of those long hours? So around that time, I had an old colleague of mine, J.P. Dnell, he was working for a company called Echelon Front, who's owned and founded by Jocko Willink. He's written a bunch of leadership boats. And I used to work for Jocko at the training detachment. And right around the time that I was getting ready to retire from the Navy, they reached out to me, and they're like, hey, we think you'd be a great fit here. But I was, I was dead set on this investment banking thing, right? I've already gone to business school. I've already put in so much time and energy into studying

for these interviews. I've already got a job offer. And then one day they reached out to me and they're like, hey, we got a client. It was a construction company in Arizona. And they said, 60% of their employees only speak Spanish. Can you come out and just translate this workshop? And I did it as a favor initially. When I went out there and did the workshop, I realized, oh, wow, they're teaching some great principles. And it carries over so perfectly. And I guess I had never really made that connection that all those things that I had

learned in the SEAL teams, I was now applying into the business world. That was it, man. I pivoted over and I was there full time. And it was an amazing experience. I learned so much. And I'm still there. time, but we do anything from leadership keynotes to workshops to strategic advising and it worked with every single industry you can think of, home services, financial, consulting, healthcare,

you name it, we did it, startups all the way up to Fortune 50 companies. I got way more questions. I want to kind of go into the origin story a little bit of just you are a lot of Hatchezer. a sniper point man medic um you know what what's one of the moments in combat like what do you think if you tell people's stories what are some life-defining moments for you in the military as a navy seal i would have to say that there's there's a few but i'll share a couple with you um and and i had a couple of these epiphanies during in hell week so hell week right is the week where you're up five and a half days you get about two hours of sleep for the entire week. And the very first epiphany that I had was that, hey, listen, whenever you've got

something that's enormous and it looks overwhelming and then you think you can't do it, hey, just start somewhere. Just start somewhere, right? Because if I were, if someone just to tell me, hey, you're going to go five and a half days long, you're only going to get two hours asleep and you're going to be doing constant physical activity, that's overwhelming for someone, you know, who's 19 years old and's never done anything like that in their life. But then I just said, you know what? I'm going to see if I can make it to lunchtime. Yeah. And you start going. And then you're like, oh, I made it to lunch. Cool.

Let me see if I can make it to dinner. And then the next is like, hey, I want to see if I can make it till the sun's up. Whenever you come across something, it's a huge project. It looks overwhelming. Don't get discouraged. Just start somewhere. Just start somewhere. The second thing that I realized was when I was being the motivator in my team,

meaning I was looking out for my team. You know, because people are quitting left and right during this process of whole week. So at some point, I became the boat crew leader. even though I was very junior and it was the times where I stopped looking out for my team that I started having the time to feel sorry for myself and I realized oh I'm cold oh I'm hungry right oh I'm bleeding from head to toe because I'm so shaving this salt water it's burning but I caught on to that and I realized okay and I did it as a survival mechanism if I want the time to pass by I'm just going to keep looking out for my team and so I've kind of always carried that

with me now or if I if there's ever a time where I feel sorry for myself or I'm feeling like man this is difficult I always think you know what there's someone who has it worse and I should probably I should probably see if they're okay that's great advice yeah just gets started and it's one step at a time I agree with that there's days that I want to go conquer more and I'm like this is easy there's other days where it's like oh boy yeah but you know it's how strong the team is around you. There's one thing that I know is the place that we're at is because of the team. And, you know, there's a great book, Leaders Eat Last. And I try to do that. I try to lead from up front as well. What are you doing now full time? Yeah, so now I work for a firm,

investment firm called Lucas Hill. We basically seed hedge fund managers. But then on the private equity side, we look for talented people who want to be CEOs of companies. What do you like about own service? So I'll tell you this, my son, he's 17 right now, you know, he says, hey, dad, I don't want to go to college. I hate school, right? That's devastating for his mom to hear. But for me, you know, I've worked with so many clients that never went to college and are very successful. And so I'm like, okay, son, yeah, that's fine. But what do you want to do? He's like, I want to work with my hands. and I'm like, okay.

So now I've got him looking into being an electrician. Right. I told him, hey son, I don't know what this electrician just did, but he just charged me like $1,500 and he was here for like an hour, you know, doing God knows what. But I think it's just a phenomenal tool that maybe our youth isn't taking advantage of, right? Because they're told so often like, hey, you have to go to school and you can't be successful if you don't go to school.

But just learning those traits, right, whether it's welding, plumbing, electrician, whatever, right? Those are very valuable skills that, I mean, I could be blindsided at some point, but I don't see AI taking over any of that. You know, you're always going to need those people to come to your home. All those things, all they require is discipline.

That's it. And if you could be the type of person to provide those services and give them those things, you'll never lack for clients. What do you think? You know, this is an interesting topic. This is just not even on my list, but AI is a very interesting thing.

Bill Gates just came out and said in 10 years, a lot of people aren't going to have to work. There are so many crazy things going on right now with AI. They say that right now you're not going to need anybody to write code in two years. The AI will actually write the code better than any human being could. Whereas a few years ago, they told everybody, go to school to write code to be a programmer. So what do you think is happening?

What does the next decade look like in your future if you had to predict some stuff? I'm always very skeptical because, listen, AI is fantastic. I use it. But, you know, it's only as good as the inputs. And guess who's putting those inputs in there? It's a human being, right? AI is never going to replace relationships. I have a friend of mine who works in private equity.

He used an X-Green Beret, went to business school, started working at a private. an equity firm and I asked him like, hey, what do you do? He's like, you want to know what I really do? He's like, I build relationships with people and all these business owners that are looking to sell because some of these young analysts that I bring with me, they don't know how to have a conversation with somebody. And a lot of these business owners, right, they're older. They value that personal touch. They value the relationship side. He's like, and that's what I do. I just build relationships with them because these young analysts, they just don't know how to do that. They get straight to the point. They're very cold. They're all about the numbers.

and no one wants them deal with someone like that. And that's not, like I said, that's not something that AI is going to replace anytime soon. So that's where I kind of start out when I'm talking to companies is you got to pill that onion back a lot to find out what they really want. Everybody says my kids and my family are the most important things, which they are. But I say, show me your calendar, show me your credit card bills. I'll tell you what the most important things are in your life. You know, I've done a lot of business, but I think the thing I want to be known for eventually

is being a dad. What have you learned? You know, we talked a little bit about your business life and about the military, but it seems like you're happily married and you got your 17-year-old. What does that tell you? Oh, man, it has been the greatest privilege of my life to be a father. I absolutely love being a dad. And it's a huge response, man. And think about it.

You are raising another human being to be a productive member of society. and be self-sufficient. And it's something that, you know, I've really tried to do with my son as well. I try not to baby him. I try to let him make a lot of his own decisions. Because if you're constantly making decisions for them, you know, when it comes time for them to leave, they're not going to know how to make decisions. All right.

So that's something that I've always tried to do with him throughout life. And now I've got another son. he's 13 months old. So we started over again. And now, you know, I appreciate it so much more. I had my first son. I was 27 years old. I was deep in the SEAL teams, right?

I was deploying. I was just hanging on for dear life, you know, trying to just provide for my family and do all these things. But now that I'm older, I'm settled, I'm financially stable. I just appreciate being a dad so much more. Like, I want to change the diaper. I want to go give them a bath. I want to put them down.

I want to do all these things that maybe when I was younger, I wasn't like the most excited about, but now I truly enjoy it. So let's go through a few more questions, then I'll get you out of here. One three-step process you talk about a lot is detached, prioritize, and execute. Can you talk of me through that?

Yeah, so this is actually one of the principles of leadership that we talk about. So we talk about cover move, which is building relationships, simple, which is communicating. But the third one is prioritize and execute. And when I started noticing this and how important it is, is when I became an instructor. Because when I became an instructor at the training attachment, you know, we're putting these seal team leaders through these simulated combat scenarios.

And we try to make it as chaotic as humanly possible for that. They got tons of things going on, right? They're getting shot at. They got a guy who's got shot. Their vehicle broke down. Their pickup has changed to the other side of city. Right? We're stacking all these problems.

up because that's what life is like. That's what business is like. That's what combat. It's like. It's chaotic. And you have to understand how to prioritize and execute. Now, unfortunately for us, there's something that works against us when we're trying to solve these problems and we're trying to do all these things is we tend as human beings, when we're overwhelmed, we tend to make emotional decisions, irrational decisions because our emotions are so powerful. So we teach here at Eschelon front is, hey, in order for you to be able to be an effective problem solver, an effective decision. decision maker and think strategic and make these long-term strategic decisions, you have to

detach from your emotions. You have to be able to detach from your emotions. And in the SEAL teams, we used to call it a superpower. Hey, it's a superpower to be able to detach from these emotions. Because when you take a step back, now you're able to really look at the situation for what it is in big picture wise and say, okay, you know what? These are things that can wait until later. These are things that need to be solved right now. And now you're starting to actually solve problems as opposed to you're spreading, you're spreading yourself thin. You're actually not getting anything done. You're telling your team that everything is a priority. You're overwhelming them. The morale is low. So detaching from your emotions is something that we talk about. And honestly,

the only way you get good at it is by practicing. I think it's important to understand what what's the number one thing that needs to get done today, the big, big thing that you need to get done. Yeah. I got three questions to close us out. So what's a game-changing piece of advice you wish you knew in your 20s? Game-changing piece of advice, I wish. You don't have as much time as you think you do. And I say that more in the context of my first son, right?

If I could go back in time, there would be so many times where I would have really taken in the moment as opposed to, hey, I got to get work done. I got to get ready to pack for my deployment. I got to get ready to pack for this. I got ready to. You know what? All those things, they can wait.

Like when your kid comes up to you and they want to spend time with you, they want you to read that book, they want to play catch, they want to spend. I would say, I wish I would have known that it just goes by so fast and just to take it. You know, when I was in the SEAL teams, I used to worry so much about my reputation. Listen, it's important, right? Your reputation of the teams and just being a good team guy and a SEAL. And a lot of that meant putting your family on the back. But when it's all said and done, and I retired, I realize this thing is just a big machine, right? There's another young 22, 23 year old just chomping at the bit to take my spot.

And by the way, the system is meant to be that way on purpose, right? But what I'm getting at, when it's all said and done, the only people that are really going to be there for you in the end and still love you as your family. I love that. What are your millionaire habits? What part of your routine sets you apart from the rest? Dude, I don't know if it sets me aside from anybody. I feel like everybody's doing it now. But listen, I like to wake up early in the morning.

You know, I feel like if I wake up early in the morning, I jump in an ice bath real quick, I'll go work out. So before 7 o'clock, I've knocked all those things that are for me. Like, I've taken care of myself, right? my own mental being my own health. And I just feel like I'm super productive throughout the date. There was a time where I didn't take my health seriously because I was like, hey, I'm working. I'm busy. I'm doing this.

I'm doing this. I'm doing that. And then I realized, hey, I have to make this thing a priority and set that time apart. Because if you haven't taken care of yourself, there's no way you're going to be able to take care of anybody, whether it's your business, whether it's your family. You can't take care of any of that if you're not in good health. Last thing. If you had to start over with $10 million tomorrow, what would you do with it?

I think I start buying businesses. From what I've seen, listen, the people that become the wealth, I mean, you can become, you know, fairly successful in finance as well. But the people who I've seen have like that true generational wealth is because they've built something, right? They built the business and then they sold it and then they built something else. And I think I would just start buying businesses. And that would also allow me to be a charitable person, right? Because if you just become charitable right off the bat, then you got to keep that money. You got to keep that money coming somehow.

So I think that's what I would do. No, man, look, this was absolutely phenomenal. I don't want to take up much more of your time. But Carlos, anything you want to close us out, I'll give you the floor here, or anything on your mind or maybe we didn't discuss, so you could see us off here. No, other than, hey, thank you for the opportunity

to be able to talk to you and your audience. Thanks a lot, man. I appreciate it. Once again, thank you. All right, guys, thanks so much for listening to this episode. Like always, we're going to close it out with the Tommy Truth, which is a little slice of wisdom from me to you

that can help guide you in whatever you're striving towards right now. I make all my decisions based on facts. It's not a gut feeling anymore. What is a KPI? It's a key performance indicator. It's kind of like the dashboard on your car. It tells you what's going on. Are you running out of gas?

How fast are you going? What are the RPMs? For me, it's even more than that. It's how I make decisions. The KPI's give me exactly what we're going towards, and they help me drive the car. I still got a drive, but I'm making decisions based on data. And if we're lagging at a certain area,

KPIs tell you what to do, what to coach on, and where the company needs to go. And when you make the right decisions, the company grows fast, the profitability goes up, and everybody wins. And that's it, guys. We'll talk to you next week.