249. Surrendering Old Identities and Embracing Mentorship, Artistry & Leadership in Menopause (Seane Corn)
00:03Welcome to the menstruality podcast where we share inspiring conversations about the power of menstrual cycle awareness and conscious menopause.This podcast is brought to you by Red School, where we're training the menstruality leaders of the future.I'm your host, Sophie Jane Hardy, and I'll be joined often by Red School's founders, Alexander and Sharnie,as well as an inspiring group of pioneers, activists, change makers and creatives to explore how you canunashamedly claim the power of the menstrual cycle to activate your unique form of leadershipfor yourself, your community and the world.Hey, thanks for tuning in today. We've got a bonus episode for you today. As you might know,I've had the profound honour of sitting with a brilliant group of women who are either
00:59going through or on the other side of menopause. And we've been releasing the conversationsthis week for the spiritual power of menopause series,they've been sharing their insights about the spiritual giftsthat menopause awakened in them.And today we're sharing one of those conversationshere on the podcast with internationally acclaimed yoga teacher,author and public speaker, Sean Korn.So Sean's been at the forefront of yoga and activism
01:25and community service for over 30 yearsand she's now dedicated to challenging cultural narratives about menopause,reframing it from a physical decline to a sacred spiritual initiation and rebirth.It's a gorgeous conversation.Sean explores how she confronted internalised misogyny around midlife and aging,how her yoga practice supported her to do her menopause shadow work,she calls it, of releasing outgrown identities,and how the alchemy of the menopause process,
02:00and she walks through the different phases of this,but how the alchemy of the menopause process can awaken our intuitionso we can step into new levels of mentorship,artistry and leadership.So we're going to hear from Sean.If you want to hear the other conversations,you can register to listen for them.You can register to listen to them at red schoolmenopause.com.
02:24But let's get started with the brilliant Sean Korn.So Sean, thank you so much for being part of this series.It's wonderful to be sitting with him.you today. How are you doing? How are you feeling? I'm doing great. Thank you. And I'm reallyhappy to be part of this conversation. Nothing brings me more joy than any opportunity that we haveto talk about something that only recently feels that it's becoming more mainstream and normalizedto talk about it in such a conversational way. And so I'm grateful for you taking the timeto ask me to be a part of it and putting it together for everyone who's listening.
03:07Yeah, I'm especially excited about the spiritual level of the conversation because I feel like it's wonderful out there in the world.There's a lot more talk around the health challenges and like different treatments and supports for health.But this whole spiritual initiation, how we're changing psychologically and emotionally, I think can get a lot more airtime.And that's what this series is really in service to.And to what your work around menopause has been in service to.So loads of questions.But first, I was just wondering.You're a few years post-menopause now, right?
03:41How is your body feeling in this post-menopause, the beginning of this post-menopause era?You know, I don't know.Is there really a post-menopause?I just feel like until the day we die, our body is going to be constantly recalibrating and adjusting and fine-tuning itself.I wish there was a day where I'm like, boom, it's done.Everything is going back to normal.but the truth is that ship has sailed.And so it's very nuanced, the relationship that I have to my body.
04:13It continues to change.There are days where I wake up and it's just something new,where I'm like, when did this happen?When did this happen?Like, you know, it wasn't like that three days ago.And so I don't know if I'm, I just think menopause exists as it is.until you take your last breath and that we continually have to adapt and adjust to the myriad ofchanges that happen in both our body and in our brain and in our emotional response to it.
04:51I feel good in my body overall.The new thing that's happening for me in this body, which is really surprising and it's anotherlevel of self-investigation is that I just found out that I have.have arthritis, severe arthritis in my right hip, moderate to severe in my left hip,and that my bone density is in such a place that I'm in osteopenia, which really surprisedme. This, as somebody who has been very athletic my whole life, who has been committed to a dailyyoga practice, who has created the conditions for optimal health and wellness since really I wasin my early 20s. Don't smoke, don't drink, don't take any drugs. I take supplements. I eat a
05:42plant-based diet. I am on top of it. And even with all of that at 59 years old to find out thatI am looking at a double hip replacement, not as a maybe. There's no turning back time. This is justthe reality that I'm facing. And to have to sit with that, that this is genetics, nothing I could doabout it. This is my age and this is the reality I face. For a moment, I sat with that sense ofbetrayal in my own body, but I got over that fast. But I had to sit with it because that feeling ofbetrayal has come up over and over again since I've been around 52, as if my body is doing somethingpersonally against me. And where did I learn that in my brain that? Thatthese changes are somehow bad, flawed, wrong, preventable, and that somehow I'm a victim to this.
06:47I could have done something different or better. And so overall, I am doing great when it comesto the changes. But it's also because I've had a lot of preparation, a lot of support,and role models who have taught me how to orient towards these changes with,openness, acceptance, and not to be afraid of the big feelings that come up. So that has reallymade a difference. But except for the osteopenia and the hip replacement, all at all,you know, I'm here, I'm breathing, I'm in my body, and I'm grateful.One of the things that you have written about with this initiation, the spiritual initiation ofmenopause, is this, it's an initiation into being with change.
07:35like undeniable change and facing that.And this feels like a really powerful example.And that word betrayal comes up a lot in our community.Alexandra and Shani, who run Red School and wrote this book, Wise Power,they have it as one of the phases of menopause,one of the early phases is betrayal.And sometimes it looks like relationship betrayals,but often it looks like a feeling of betrayal from the body.
08:01Yeah.Thank you for sharing that.Yeah.I wondered if you could walk us back to before your final bleed because it's like an interestingprocess that you had.You had like you said a year of symptoms.Maybe you could tell us a bit about what you experienced there.Sure.
08:19My experience of being paramenopause, paramenopause was really non-existence, non-existent,excuse me.I didn't have any typical symptoms as one would expect.My mother went into menopause late in her, like maybe around 57 or so.And when I was 50, I was still bleeding regularly.And I just wasn't finding myself pretty symptom, in any way symptomatic.I went to India.I was 52.
08:56I came home and that's the first time I had skipped my period.And I thought, well, it's either paramedaverse or it's because of the time.changes. It's not, you know, that happens fairly frequently to women when you travel overseas.But I assumed. I'm in the age range. You know, I'm a pragmatic woman. It's like, here's thereality. This is probably what's happening. And in the course of that year, I got my periodthree times. And so at that point, I know I see where this is going. And I'm feeling prettynon-attached to it. I'm still not having many symptoms of it. I'm not experiencing hot flashes.a little bit of insomnia is what I'm starting to experience.
09:40It is now during the pandemic.I haven't had my period for eight months.I'm in a posture,Supta Baddiccanasana,which is a reclining posture designed for women in paramedipauseor women who have their periods.It's a very supportive posture for nervous system regulation and rest.But the way that the blocks were positioned in my back,
10:03They were soft foam blocks and they were pushing into where my ovaries would be.And I started to feel uncomfortable deep in my belly.And when I started to really hone in on it, the sensation felt very crampy.And which I never really had cramps.That wasn't again, my periods like my paramedopause were pretty benign.And but I was starting to experience this really crampy feeling.So I just sat with it and breathed into it and was just like hands on my womb, feeling into my body.Finally, I can't take the sensation anymore.
10:40And I get up, I go to the bathroom to go pee.And when I stand up, I turn around to flush and in the toilet is the saddest, most pathetic,brown, stringy, runny, glop of blood.And I just am staring at it, you know, surprised that this.came from my body. And before I flushed, I became very well aware that this is the last timeI was going to see blood coming from my body, the very last time. Something about the blockshad stimulated something. And it was like whatever blood was like hanging on for dear life,just from my body. And I turned and I looked at myself in the mirror. And what I said next,
11:32it took a while, but it really, when I reflected back on it, really surprised me.I looked myself in the mirror and I said, well, that's it then.And I flushed the toilet and walked out of the room and got on with my day.And I'm a ritualist.I'm someone who creates ceremony out of the most insignificant moments.Certainly with the young women in my life when they get their first periods.It's a homecoming.from birth to deaths, that is something that's very important for me to take a moment to recognize
12:09that there's a threshold crossing that is happening that deserves recognition and honor.And my response to crossing a significant threshold was, well, that's it then.And it wasn't until maybe a year later when someone asked me to perform and write a ritual,they were turning 50 and they wanted some kind of a threshold crossing.and I just, you know, pulled out all the stops.And it forced me to really look at, well, why didn't I do that for myself?And when I said, well, that's it then.What did I even mean by that?
12:42Well, that's it then.The end of fertility, the end of life, the end of my beauty, the end of my relevance, the end of being visible.That was a really loaded statement of which I chose not to even.and unpack. And when I really thought about it, I did a complete reversal of wanting to understandwhat constructs, what stigmas, what attitudes and what limiting beliefs lived within thatstatement that still live within my body. Because if I didn't take the time to unpack it,that meant that those invisible beliefs were actually dictating every choice, how I was going tofeel about my changing body, how I was going to feel about my changing sexuality, how I was going to
13:34feel about my changing the texture of my hair, my skin, my vagina, you name it, that there was so muchconditioning that was existing on a cellular level that I had chosen to bypass and ignore.I thought I had the tools. I thought I was okay. And I was okay. I don't want to suggest that I wasn't.but when I did choose to go back and begin to peel back the layers, I really sensitized myself to howmuch misogyny I have internalized that on a very subtle level was absolutely impacting what Ithought about midlife, what I thought about age, and how I felt about the changes.that were inevitable and that for me to really go to this next level spiritually, you can'tbypass the shadow. I had to go to my rage and my fear and my insecurities and my grief.
14:42I had to give my body space to feel it all and not over understand. Overunderstand is meaningthat I can tell you how I feel without actually feeling anything. I can intellect. I can intellect.intellectualize my experience all from the neck up, but not allow my body to speak. And this is somethingthat I've taught and practiced the whole of my life. But until I met midlife head on and was confrontedby a lot of the identities that I held dear, identities that do not work in midlife, they can't workwhen you have a recalibrating brain and when you have a recalibrating nervous system, when you'rebeing invited spiritually to step into a new role, if you are in any way staying attached toroles that gave me purpose, that gave me value, that told me that I was great, wonderful,
15:40valuable, seen, I needed to understand value with honor those roles, but also accept thatthose roles were changing. And it didn't mean I failed, didn't mean my body failed. It meant I'mbeing called into something else and I can't lean into my purpose until I understand what I'm stillgripping onto. And so that was, in a nutshell, that was my journey and why I chose to go a little bitback in time to see who am I in this changing body. How do I really feel? How can I approach thiswith more vulnerability and honesty and not be afraid, even of my ego,but that these aspects of the self, I don't want to suggest they have to die,but they have to be understood for something else to be reborn.
16:37So I looked at it through a lens of alchemy, which I can explain more of it,but before I keep jumping ahead, is that, is there anything else within that you wanted to ask me?I mean, loads, and I'm just loving.following your flow, so flow away. But I think one question that comes up for me, and I can imaginethose listening might be asking, might be thinking it too, is as you were doing that work tounpack the shadow and to move from like understanding to actually feeling, if you could sharesome of the ways that you did that, like what supports you to let rage move through you or tolike really let that vulnerability speak through your body? Well, for me, it's my yoga practice.
17:21course, that's always going to be the gateway into my emotions. I'm a, my response to big feelingsis dissociation. And so again, I'm really good at explaining how I feel, but not allowing myselfthe space to feel it. Yoga teaches us that there's no separation between the mind and the bodyand everything we think feel or experience has an effect on our cellular tissue. And that the tensionthat exists within our body is often the result, not always, but often the result of internalizedbeliefs or emotions, energy that hasn't been given room to release itself. So for me, getting on themat, moving my body, releasing the tension, steadying the nervous system gives me the safeenvironment I need in order to feel my feelings. It's a process that requires. It's a process that requires
18:18time. Now, it's not only that, though, yoga's a huge, important part of the process, but I've alsoworked with therapists since I was young who can give me a language to help me understand what isthe root of these emotions. Where do they come from? Where did I learn it from? How far back tothese beliefs go? What we carry in our body isn't just what's happening to us in our lifetime.I also hold on to the energetic DNA of my mom and dad and grandparents, my culture, my education,my religion, all of that lives in a body and it influences our perception.In yoga, this is called some scars, these deep grooves of information that live in the body.Your some scars are different than mine.
19:09That means your perception is going to be different.but it's going to feel, but it's our reality.And so yoga helps to release the tension, steady the nervous system, give the spaciousnessto stay in the discomfort of the sensation that I feel.And therapy gives me the language to help me to discern and understand the tendrils.What are these beliefs?How far back do they go?and how am I still perpetuating them in my life?
19:45And so that's when I started to really understandthe internalized misogyny, this idea that my value,like, what are the identities I carry?You know, my identity as a woman, as a teacher,as a partner, as a stepmom,you know, these are all roles in which I have playedthat I have found that I have found valuable. It's who I am. Anyone going through menopause knowsyour role as, let's say, parent perhaps, that changes. Kids grow up. They leave home.
20:26And if your self-confidence, self-esteem has been attached to this particular role and it begins todismantle, suddenly your left well, then who am I? For me, I didn't have that particularthat particular attachment.What I had an attachment to was stamina,meaning that my identity,I am a hardworking woman, always have been.I come from a family of hardworking people,the hustlers, laborers,
21:00you know, I don't call in sick.I will find ways to show up because that's who I amand have always been.I wasn't particularly conscious of this.But for 20 years of my professional life, I was on a plane.I was on the road 250 days out of a year.I missed celebrations.I missed all sorts of things in my personal life so that I can show up for others because
21:26that's what my body knew how to do.It wasn't until I hit menopause, like that phase of paramedopause where I was tired.my fatigue really hit me hard.I didn't want to travel the way that I was traveling.I became a grandparent.Suddenly my role in my family had shifted,and I wanted to lean into that role in a really big way.But because so much of my identity was around productivity,
21:57around stamina, output, showing up, being reliable.When that started to dismantle,it impacted me in a really big way.I felt like I was a failure.I felt like I was going to become irrelevant.I felt I was going to become invisiblethat people were going to judge mefor being unreliable,
22:21inconsistent, a flake.I had no idea how much my self-esteem,my sense of value was attached to the doing.and until I hit menopause.And I really had to go back and realize that this lived in my body.I was completely unaware of it.I inherited it from my family.It was a part of the makeup of my cells.
22:49And when it started to dismantle, dissolve, break apart,I was scared that all that hard work and effort was just going to disappearbecause I'm now lazy.These are the words I let myself use.Because even though I know that intellectually, that is not true.My nervous system was having a very different reality.And so I had to give space for that.Being on the yoga mat allowed me to breathe into sensation.
23:20The tension has, and I use this word very deliberately,because sensation is the language of the body.anger is not a sensation, but tightness in the jaw, heat in the face, heart beating fast,those might be indicators that I'm angry before I even erupt.And so I had to learn to sit with what does lazy feel like?How did that vibration, how long has the energy of that vibration lived in me?and how has that actually been the motivating factor that got me on a plane to prove all these invisible forces wrong?Now, that was hard work. That was scary, uncomfortable, hard work. It really, I felt like I should have known better.
24:17But the way I approached my menopausal journey was through an alchemical lens. Alchemy is the, that science ofturning lead into gold, one gross material into something else.In spirituality, in Jungian theory, it's a necessary part of the process to move into unionwith spirit, that something has to fall apart for something else to come forward.The very first stage of the alchemical process is something called Negredo, and it's alignedwith the element earth, and it's all about the collapse, falling apart.the emptying, this dismantling. There's no reason. There's no intellect behind it. You don't evenwant to begin to analyze it. That doesn't come until later. It's just this acceptance that everything
25:10is collapsing. And in menopause, your brain, brain fog, your body, all the changes. For me,my joints getting achy, inflammation, dryness, everything,that I counted on was suddenly just dismantling the scaffolds that kept me safe, completely disrupted.When it's happening, and especially when you're dealing with a brain that's already, you know,recalibrating, it is, for lack of a better phrase, it is a mind fuck because it's all happening atonce and you can't make sense of it.Spiritually, that dissolving, that dissolution is an essential part of the awakening of thespirit of us, almost like a snail, the way in which it sheds and dissolves and it loses
26:12its house that it carries on its back.We're awakening as women into this next phase of awareness.that requires so much surrender, so much letting go of who you think you are, body, mind,so that you can awaken to the depths of your wisdom and intuition, which is moving us into a place of mentorship,artistry, leadership, being voices that are carried from years of experience, of self-acceptance,of letting go.And you can't move into that phase until you're standing in that naked sorrow of letting,of releasing all that you counted on to be true.
27:06Like I always say, I loved my 30-year-old ass.It doesn't exist anymore.I can celebrate it for what it was, but I also have to take ownership for what is.This body is dissolving.It is dying.But what is awakening is a level of wisdom.I would give up that 30-year-old ass any day of the week for a flake of the wisdom that I'm leaning into now, what I can see now.but when I was so attached to my stamina, to my body, to my flexibility, it was like Spirit was saying,
27:45honey, pay attention. I'm giving you something. You won't look back at any of this with desire,because what I'm giving you is going to be so fruitful and rich that you're only going to belooking forward, not back. But when you're in it, you just don't know.So I found that I was standing in what I called the deliminal space.And for women, this is really important.Safety, that earth feeling, negato, it's all about control.I don't know what's on the other side of control.I don't know what's on the other side of my life.
28:25And as women, that's really scary.There's no guarantee I'm going to be caught.There's no guarantee that anything that I wish for is going to be self-realized.That control, that contraction, that tension,has kept me safe over all these 59 years.What Spirit is asking us to go towards is expansion.It's the complete release of this control.It is the jumping off of the cliff and trusting you can fly.
28:55It's that liminal space between control and surrender that is an unbearable sensation in the body.And so in alchemy, we're being taught you sit with the, that once you understand that what's happeningisn't happening to you, it's happening for you on purpose that this falling apart is a necessarypart of the spiritual process, that the next phase we move into, it's called albedo and it's aboutpurification, cleansing.And first it comes with thoughts.It's that awareness starts to develop.the understanding, the intellect, the ideas.
29:39And then it moves into that feeling body that especially as women were so in tune to,allowing space to understand the identities that we've held on to,the constructs, the stigmas, the projections that we have internalized,seeing the way in which we bought into it,and how far back these stories and messages.go and then doing the deep inner work of feeling it and cutting the courts so that ultimately we can move towards the final process is called quintessence and its union with spirit, it's oneness with all.It's seeing that everything happened as it's supposed to that we are not the byproduct of our youth or the constructs that we as women must do the work now to dismantle.that for the next generation to come, that this society has depended upon us to value our beauty
30:42as our wholeness, our bodies as our wholeness. And when they have to change,unless we can really come into terms with it, we're going to get stuck reaching back in timeand trying to fix what we perceive is broken. And we're not broken. We're evolving. We'reawakening, we're becoming. And I, for one, do not want to miss this. I don't want to drop deadso attached to that 30-year-old ass that I missed the 80-year-old presence. And I missed what I couldleave behind to those who are paying attention to me so that they don't have to go throughsome of the struggles that we, as women are going through today, because we're still stuck in amisogynistic culture that tells us that we're only as valuable as the size, shape, toneness of
31:39our body or the firmness of our skin or our sexual response. This has to change. And the only waythat's going to change is if we, I do the inner work to recognize how I contribute to it.So I'm going to pause the conversation with Sean for a moment to invite you to register for therest of the spiritual power of menopause series if you haven't already. You can register at red schoolmenopause.com.The conversations explore so much trauma healing, creative renaissance, sexual awakening in menopause,surrendering old identities like we've been talking about with Sean. It was a theme in many of theconversations. Alchemizing attachments, symptoms as messengers, so much more. And we're roundingoff the series by sharing Alexandra and Sharnie's personal menopause awakening stories. So again,
32:42it's red schoolmenopause.com. And Alexandra and Shani would also like to invite you to join themfor the second part of the spiritual power of menopause series, which is a free three-day online eventcalled How to Awaken the Spiritual Power of Menopause, which is happening next week on Octoberthe 20th, 21st and 22nd. Again, it's Red School Menopause.Let's get back to Sean.Yeah, as you're talking, it's making me think of like, is there such a thing as collectivesamscaras?Like, it's like there's a collective samsacara around women and aging.
33:25And what I'm receiving from you is this transmission, which is gorgeous to receive, ismaybe it's the women who can consciously go through menopause who are doing a big part of thatdeconstructing of that collective samscara.bringing this wisdom and truth because I feel the earth and the ground of what you're sayingand the full truth of what you're saying. And I want every 30 year old, 40 year old woman to hearit and person going through menopause to hear it. But it feels like, yeah, like there'scollective alchemy. Like there's a reweaving of a new kind of narrative and conversation to happen,isn't there? That's why breaking the silence is so important. It's also why listening to other
34:06people's stories are important, broadening the conversation.to who gets care and who doesn't.Who gets considered in their menopausal journey and who doesn't?Trans men, for example, non-binary folk.The more that we can share our stories,we can start to see the similarities and the differences that do exist.And that's why, yes, there is a collective smear that existsbecause we're in a patriarchal society.
34:39were in a misogynistic culture, at least here in the West. And there aren't any ritualsthat really value and support this on a societal level. There's so much sexism and ageism.And it's a value, it's a culture that still values youth. And until we as women are willingto name our own attachment to it, we can't break the addiction.to it. And that's been my commitment is just, I'm going to name this. I use my mom as a really goodexample. My mom is 80 years old and she's very sex positive, body positive, all of that. And she'salways kind of bucked the system and has chosen to age on her own terms. And I have a story that'san example of how the conditioning runs within us and how we,
35:39we assert that conditioning onto others as an absolute. One day my mom calls me up and she says,my vagina is dry. Do you think it's the yogurt? And I said, I don't know, mom, are you eating it?Are you sticking it up your cooch? And she says, and I said, ma, I hate to tell you this.Your vagina is not dry because of the yogurt you're eating. It's dry because at the time,I said it's dry because you're 70 years old. And my vagina is not dry. I mean, it's dry because you're 70 years old.and my mom said, what does my age have to do with this?My vagina is always juicy and moist.It's the yogurt.
36:15I'm switching brands.Now, why I share this story is because, of course, there are reasons why at 70 years oldyour vagina might be dry.That is a legitimate thing that happens within the body.But that wasn't my mother's reality.I didn't ask her any questions.I didn't say, like have you noticed changes in the lastfew years, nothing. What I did was absolutely assert onto my mother an absolute. And I did it in a way
36:46that was like, you know, come on, mom. Like, the only reason this is happening is because you're old.And I realized that that conditioning lives in my awareness, my body. I haven't been indoctrinated bythis idea that as you get old, you dry up, period.the end, not only your vagina, but your creativity, your sexuality, your whatever it is,that all of it begins to just disintegrate and die. And that has come up consistently in myrelationship with my mom where I have tried to impose this conditioning onto her realityand have had to really look in myself and think, what have I bought into? What have becometrue from my body and how does that how is that in fact affecting my ability to remain juicy
37:44and moist in a world that's telling me I am dried up and so I I use her as an example a lotfor myself in my own journey like you know what would Alice do because she just refuses someonesays to my mom you look so good for your age her first response is like that's bullshit I justlook good. Yes. He won't apologize for the changes that happen in her body. She's excited for it.She's earned it. And now with that said, I'm also all for do the things. Eat well. Take the supplements.Go see your doctor. Find out what works for you. See if HRTs are the right choice for your body.I am all for all of the things as if as long as you're going in with informed choice and you're not doing it because you feel like you're trying to, like, stop time or avoid the big feelings that might be arising.We all deserve to be healthy. We all deserve to have a juicy, moist vagina. We all deserve to have a robust libido, if that's what you're going to be healthy. We all deserve to have a juicy, moist vagina.
38:57We all deserve to have a robust libido if that's what you want.So definitely do the things, get the guidance, but also don't miss the spiritual opportunitythat we're being invited into, this alchemical process that's leading us from leadinto gold, from density into expansion.That's inviting us to step into this new level of, I don't want to say womanhood, femininity,femininity, but a new level of empowerment that is not saying you've got to leave it all behind.It's saying bring it all with you, but don't reject what you're evolving into because what you'reevolving into transcends the waistline or the changes in your bust or the brain fog.
39:52You know, when I, brain fog has been a real challenge for me and that if I've had like,if I had to go against some of my edges, my mind, my communication skills, my ability to articulatehas always been so natural and a huge part of my self-esteem.And when I started to experience brain fog and my words started dropping or I couldn't track a thoughtto completion, the way that I'm so accustomed to, that was very, very, very hard for me.But what it also taught me, slow down. Let your words have more substance. Lean into the pause more.The pause and everything, that menopause. I lean into the pause between thoughts. And it has allowed me tobecome more present in relationships to people and talk with them rather than at.
40:58But that was also a real physiological challenge that I had to face.Being someone who's always been, I've been on the cover of countless magazines, my bodyhas been inspected in the yoga community since I was in my 20s.My face is something that people recognize for a very long.time in my community. Growing older publicly brought up feelings of shame as if I should have beenable to transcend time, as if I should have known better. I should have had the right recipe toavoid the clear evidence of a changing body. That was hard, but I had to, again, my practicesays don't run from it, go towards it and be with the discreet.
41:51comfort, but I am not going to allow that belief to dictate how I'm going to enter my 60s or 70s or 80sif I get to live that long. I don't want it. So the mantra that I have for myself is thus far no further.I sit with it. I feel it. I grieve it. But I say to myself, thus far no further, because as I movetowards quintessence, as I move towards that gold, that lead is not something that I want topaint the purity of where spirit is inviting initiating me us into.And it's what I want all women, all bleeding people out there to recognize that midlife,this is not a curse and this is not a downfall, but there are biological changes that happenthat are challenging.
42:42And there are spiritual gifts that will take you to new levels of awareness and gratitudethat can't happen unless we let something else fall apart.And so that's where I am at in this journey and grateful, very, very grateful for it and verygrateful to have role models that have led me sometimes kicking and screaming and sometimeswith just like, fine, fuck it.But I am definitely being guided into this journey.And I welcome the changes now.I expect them differently.
43:22I'm not as shocked by them,but I still allow myself the what-the-fuck moments when I see themand then get on with my day.Yes.What I'm experiencing in youis I'm receiving this ongoing transmission,which is so gorgeous.It's like a potentized vitality in you.
43:43That I'm wondering,is it like that stamina that you had when you were younger?It feels like this is part of the alchemy.now it's like potentized into this like focused vitality.That's what I'm experiencing as I'm sitting with you.Well, it's interesting you use that word because in the alchemical process,that dissolution becomes so fine tuned down to its essence.And that's a huge part of it.
44:06So what is abstract narrows and narrows and narrows into its pure form.And I feel like that is, if I had to look at my own alchemical process,I'm in the Albedo stage where things are being distilled. I haven't, I certainly haven'ttranscended. I have moments of all, moments where I'm like, I know where this is going, where I feelthat connection, where I feel the guidance. But I'm still in that, that more crumbly stage,but with insight. And so definitely, I think that's a really,beautiful reflection that I'm in that distillation.I think it's almost like when you take a flower and you pull it the oil out of it.
44:58I'm terrible with metaphors, but I think you can follow it.Like you pull out the oil.I'm in that stage where the flowers are, I'm still in the bloom, but they're gettingsqueezed into something else that's even more pure.more distilled, more in its center.So it's not comfortable.I don't quite know the end result,but I know there's no going back.
45:27And I accept that reality,and I feel enthusiastic about what is,about leaning into the mystery.And I want others to do the same.You know, it saddens me when I see womenso fixated ontrying to get back where they were.Yes.
45:50And not just accepting,you can't.You know, you can't.It's over.You can still be very healthy,but you have to adaptthe way in which your body is also adapting.The brain is changing.
46:06I'll never be sharp the way that I was.But I'm also never going to be as compassionateor as empathetic as I'm becoming.I wasn't that then.I will trade everything,that sharpness for that awareness any day of the week.Thank you, Sean.If people are listening and they want to follow you
46:30or find out more about your work,what's the best way for them to do that?Seancorn.com is the best way to reach out to me.I have a course mental magicthat really breaks a lot of this down.I'm writing a book now.I don't have a title for it, but I'm in the process.That's about the alchemy of identity.
46:51Brain fog.Identity, menopause, identity, and spirituality.Because it's really in that order.And so, again, it's not about symptom management because, although I talk about that in the book,because it is vitally important just for overall health and wellness.but it's really inviting people into a deeper process to look at the attachments,the stigmas, the constructs that they are embodying,that is preventing them from making this transition with more openness and awareness
47:26and an invitation to consciously cross this threshold.In the book, I offer prayers and rituals in every single section.It opens with an invocation.And the invocation is in first person because when someone reads it, I want them to understand,buckle up.Because by saying the words, asking for clarity, asking to let everything break down so who theytruly are can come forward, that you have to take accountability for this alchemical process.You asked for this.
48:03You prayed for awakening.This is what it looks like.So just be prepared.and it invites people to really look at what were they taught, what lives in the body,and what do we have to do to dismantle some of these perceptions so that we can liberateourselves from the, really from the patriarchy and create a brand new conversation that'swithin the same way we do with our, you know, teenage children who go into menopause,excuse me, when they get their periods.
48:38When my stepdaughter got her period, I mean,it was a thing.You know, it's like I wanted to celebrate it.I wanted to ritualize it.And I want that for all young girls.And I feel like that happens more and more often.But we don't do that for menopause.And I'm hoping that by providing rituals,
48:57it'll invite women to get together to literally cross the threshold,to set their intentions,to look at what they need,to let go of in order for something else to be reborn,to share stories, to grieve together,to hold each other accountable for the momentswhere they self-beat or neglect themselvesor reject themselves or someone else.
49:22And how we can cross this threshold with humor intact,with self-acceptance, honoring the weirdness of it all,but also the unimaginable grace that comes.And so the book is going to supply all these ritualsthat I want people take these prayers,make them your own, I don't care, share them in class,but let's change the narrative around thisas from something that's, you know, a decline,
49:56you know, this slide into our demise,into a gateway into our evolution,which is the way I'm choosing to look at it.Yes, yes, Sean. Thank you so much. Good luck with the writing process. I can't wait to read it.Thank you. I need it. It's a hard process, especially when you're a brain buck. I'm like, huh? What?Well, we need it. So keep going. Thank you so much. And thank you for everything you've shared. This has been absolutely gorgeous. Thank you, Sean.I so appreciate you. And to everyone who's listening to this, I wish you the best on your own menopausal journey. Do all the things. Take care of yourself. Be incommunity, listen to all the different wisdom that exists out there, and forge your own path.
50:42And you be the voice that women are waiting for. You be the one who reaches back in time anddrag someone forward and says, here, let's do this together. Let's share this wisdom. And let'screate a new level of mentorship and leadership and artistry that can change, not justthe relationship that we have with menopause. But,transform a patriarchal society into something that's matriarchal, that's a shared, a shared vision,a horizontal model of leadership that can really transform the world going forward.Okay, we really need a part two of this conversation. Once the book is out,please come on our podcast. Let's talk about menopause and matriarchy. Oh, my goodness.
51:29Thank you, love. Thank you so much.Thanks for being with us today. I remember feeling so.fired up, sitting with Sean, and so grateful for, yeah, the passion that she's bringing tothe re-education that needs to happen in the world around menopause, changing the culturalstory of menopause. I hope you enjoyed this conversation. If you haven't already signed upfor the series and you'd like to hear more from women who have been worked by this processand who are sharing the spiritual gifts that they're with on the other side, or some of themare still going through the process and receiving the gifts right now. You can register for the
52:11series at Red School Menopause.com. And next week there's Alexander and Sharnie's free three-dayonline event, which is the second part of this series. It's called How to Awaken the SpiritualPower of Menopause. It's happening on October 20th, 21st and 22nd. And you can take yourseat at Red Schoolmenopause.com. All right. That's it for this week's, both.episode. I'll be with you again next week and until then keep living life according to yourown brilliant rhythm.
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