The Michael Knowles Show - Michael Knowles Can't Stop Laughing With Comedian Jeff Dye | YES or NO

Episode Date: March 28, 2026

Michael Knowles puts comedian Jeff Dye on the hot seat in this wild YES or NO episode! No long explanations, no dodging — just straight YES or NO answers. From comedy, cancel culture, and dating to faith, masculinity, and the absurd state of the internet, nothing is off limits. Expect bold takes, unexpected answers, and plenty of moments that will have you laughing… and questioning everything. The rules are simple. The questions are not. Watch the chaos unfold and decide for yourself — is modern culture a joke… or are we the punchline? Yes or No Ep. 46 - - - Click here to join the member-exclusive portion of my show: https://get.dailywire.com - - - Today's Sponsor: PreBorn! - Make a difference for generations to come. Donate securely online at https://preborn.com/KNOWLES or dial #250 keyword 'BABY' - - - DailyWire+: Become a Daily Wire Member and watch all of our content ad-free: https://dailywire.com/subscribe 📲 Download the free Daily Wire app today on iPhone, Android, Roku, Apple TV, Samsung, and more. 🎁  You’ve seen it played on The Michael Knowles Show. Now play the YES-or-NO game at home!           YES-or-NO Game: https://dwplus.shop/YesorNoGame           Conspiracy Expansion Pack: https://dwplus.shop/YesorNoConspiracyExpansionPack           Dating & Relationships Expansion Pack: https://dwplus.shop/YesorNoDatingExpansionPack           Politics, Philosophy, & Religion Expansion Pack: https://dwplus.shop/YesorNoPoliticsExpansionPack 📘 My book "Speechless: Controlling Words, Controlling Minds" is available here: https://dwplus.shop/Speechless 🕯️ Get your Michael Knowles candles: https://thecandleclub.com/collections/michael-knowles 👕 Don’t dress like a squish. Shop my merch here: https://dwplus.shop/MichaelKnowlesMerch - - - Socials: Follow on Twitter: https://bit.ly/3RwKpq6 Follow on Instagram: https://bit.ly/3BqZLXA Follow on Facebook: https://bit.ly/3eEmwyg Subscribe on YouTube: https://bit.ly/3L273Ek - - - Privacy Policy: https://www.dailywire.com/privacy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Last night, you spent two hours deciding what to wear to the party. This morning, it'll take you two minutes to list it on Deepop and make your money back. Just grab your phone, snap a few photos, and we'll take care of the rest. The sheer dress and platform heels you'll never wear again, there's a birthday girl searching for them right now. Your one-and-done look is about to pay for your next night out, or at least the right home. Your style can make you cash.

Start selling on Deepop, where Taste recognizes taste. Can you believe we were just pants in people? Yeah, you'd wait for your friend who trusts you. To be like holding a tray of food or something, and then you would just pants him. If he told on you, you'd act incredulous. Like, oh, God. Here we go. All we did was pull his pants and underwear down.

And now he told on us? We're going to have to beat the shit out of that guy. Welcome. Yes or No, the Bibulous battle to discover who knows whom better. My guest today is comedian Jeff Dye. Sorry, I'm Googling Bibulus. Bibulus, it's a great word. That's a $10 word when a nickel would have done.

He is a stand-up comedian and an actor, and here is how it works. I'm going to ask Jeff a yes or no question. He'll lock in his answer away from my prying eyes. Then I will try to guess what he chose. If I guess correctly, I get a point. If I guess incorrectly, I will lose a point. No matter what, I usually say I'll end up drinking, but mercifully, Jeff took it.

Jeff took pity on me today because it's in the morning and I don't have to slam a martini right when I wake up I'm having a tasty little smoothie then it'll be Jeff's turn neither of us has seen the questions beforehand whoever has the most points at the end of the game wins the stakes could be higher do you have a wager Jeff first of all thank you for coming on the show thanks for having me I'm a big fan I'm excited to be here yeah pleasure's all my alcoholies hey my alcoholism worked out to your advantage dude don't have to drink today I am so happy you're an alcoholic

I did not, and the fact that you come on, the one thing I'm irritated about, you had two sold-out shows at Zanis last night. Yes. Nobody informed me of this fact. I got to work on your team. I know. So the shows went great.

Yeah. Now you're here. We're smoking nice, tasty breakfast cigars. Cheers. Cheers. What's the wager? Oh, I thought about this all morning. You know, when you prep for a show like yes or no.

Yeah. You can't stop thinking about it. A little bit of nerves, you know, a little excitement. I was racking my brain. I figured a fair wager, you live in Nashville, I live in Los Angeles, whoever loses has to move to Iran. I think that is... That's a pretty fair wage.

Because we both love where we live. Yeah. But, you know, if this is going to mean something, I think that is... Look, all right, that's fair, because I was going to say, if I lose, I'll give you, like, a box of cigars or something. Oh, yeah, we go with cigars for a cigar. Yeah, and if I, but now... What are you afraid about real estate in Iran? Yeah, and now...

Can't afford it with your big fancy show? Oh, what are the prices in Iran? I don't know what that. I can't wait. I'd rather live in Tehran post-Rubio than at the Trump Hotel and Casino in Gaza, which also will be built. So, we have the stakes on the table.

Okay, got it. You know the rules? Yes, sir. I don't really. I ask every time when I was... when I said that, but I just figured, you know, say it with confidence, we'll roll through it, you know? This is live.

Oh, shit. Of all the modern medical diagnosis fads, which increasingly seem to be ways to dodge personal accountability, is dyslexia just an excuse for not wanting to proofread text messages? That is absurd. Now, I have to guess how you would answer. It's well written. It was very funny.

It was written by dyslexic. I'm not even joking. That actually was written. Well, I just like, which increasingly seems to be ways to dodge personal accountability is very funny. Yeah. I, now do you have your answer? I haven't locked in. This is how you would.

Yeah. It is locked in. No, I said, now I'm locked in. But I feel like I got to saw my thumb. Yeah, I, it's not, so it's not just an excuse. No. But Newsom, is Newsom dyslexic, do you think? I don't know.

He says he is? I think he's retarded. And we should never, ever conflate dyslexia with retardism. be unfair, being sensitive to people. Also, it's just like the medical colleges don't teach that. Right. Dislexia and retardism are very different. And we got to see, I'm a sensitive guy. I'm trying to be sensitive

to these subjects. Yeah, I have dyslexia. Do you know that? Do you? Yeah. But it's fine. Can you, because Newsom said, it flares up every once and again. Not a big deal. You're looking at yes or no. And then it switches. Yeah. No, yeah. But times I've noticed it in my life is like, one time I was, it's a glass door, and on this side it said pull.

But because it's a glass door, the pull was backwards, and I'm sitting there pulling, and I think I'm going crazy. I'm like, am I not? It says pull. Yeah. And my friend's like, yeah, it's on the other side. And I was like, oh, but like, it was very, those are the kind of moments where I see it rear its head. But who cares. Do you find, do you find, so I've found that my buddies who were dyslexic actually are.

better at show business because they have better spatial reasoning. It's not a punch man. It's not a joke. I actually think they like their brains work in a different way. But do so Newsom said because he's dyslexic he doesn't read he can't read. Do you read? I read all the time. Yeah. So he's just that's a completely ridiculous. I think it is true. People use it as an excuse. I use it as an excuse growing up. I go I can't do this. I have just like I would go I got a little excuse to not have to do the thing But I listen to books. Yeah, that's better. I'm a better listener than a reader also you You can multitask. You can't, like, hold a book and, like, drive your car. You can put it on the thing, yeah.

Yeah. So I find dyslexia is kind of an advantage. I don't know. I have dysphoria. I have gender dysphoria. Oh, you do. Oh, that's huge right now. It is.

It's a big one. It's a new excuse to be a pervert, actually. It's really one. It's more. Okay, you're up. All right. So I'm going to unlock no. Are you comfortable with the fact that if you died today,

your tombstone in public, in public opinion would read, the guy who wanted to eradicate trannies from public life entirely. Public life. Old moderate Michael, scrambling the fence again. What does that mean?

Like my tombstone in public opinion? What does that mean? Yeah. My obituary? I don't know. I didn't know. But yeah, I think that they're suggesting that if you died right now,

this is what would be on your tombstone. Wow. Which I disagree with the premise, but if that is true, would you be comfortable with that? I got my answer. Yeah, I'm going to go with no. Yeah, all right, get that point. You're moving to Tehran. Wait, you said yes?

Yeah, I did say, yeah. You'd be comfortable with that? That's okay. It doesn't bother. No, you wouldn't. That's fine. Whatever, first of all, I'd be dead. So I'd either be in heaven, in which case I'm comfortable with anything, or I'd be burning in hell,

in which case I couldn't ever be comfortable. It isn't, are you comfortable now in that state? It's are you comfortable with what is on that tomb? Am I today? Or would I be comfortable? Are you comfortable with the fact? Are you? Okay, yeah.

Am I? Okay, all right, that's fair. You're not dyslexic. You read that better than I read that. Well, I'm obsessed with words, you know? It's like... Am I comfortable with that? I would be angry for you if that's how you were remembered.

Yeah. Okay. Look, I'm comfortable with it in the sense that I rejoice in my sufferings. You know, what am I, if I am, if I even merit an obituary in the New York Times or something, some liberal paper, it's going to say like some, this ugly, stupid jerk died today. Yeah. And, you know, look, an ISIS commander dies. They say the austere, brilliant, beautiful, religious scholar, the poet, whatever. And then Scott Adams dies and they say, like, racist cartoonist dead, celebrations today.

It happened this week, actually. Chuck Norris' thing was like maybe his politics will take away from his being remembered but you see like what they wrote about Rob Reiner and it was like the most sweet, nice thing. Or the Ayatollah. Yeah, yeah.

So I guess I'm comfortable with it in the sense that yeah, that if I even merit an obituary, it's going to be the guy who wanted to genocide the trannies and... Merit and obituary. Yeah, I don't know. Just my uncle Al got an obituary, and you're way more successful than him. He was just some creep.

What did they say about Uncle Al? Nothing good. He was survived by his fifth wife. Yeah. I guess you're right. I'm more comfortable with the tranny thing. Despite all the holes in his resume, he said he had money. You know, I'm not comfortable with that for you.

I think you're a great man, and I hate that people write weird. Well, thank you. I appreciate that. Yeah. Well, actually, I guess my obituary is going to be in Farsi if I lose this game, so we'll find out. This is a video prompt that we have to watch before I... Oh, cool. He's go, you know that they're going to let a trans chick, fight a biological female.

I'm going, I'm going, hey, I don't, hey. Hey, I mean, you know, hey, why do you care, man? She wants to fight, she can fight, whatever she believes she is beautiful, you know? That's nice. Right, that's good. That's nice. I'm a go along guy. That's good. Trying to be nice.

Want to be everybody's friend? Want everyone to get along and say, you know? And then the fight came on. And they were like, in this corner, Tamika. She's like, hi, I'm a regular lady. Hi. Happy to be here. Happy to be here.

And they're going, in this corner, Fallon, Fox. She's like, whoa. Oh, God. I was like, oh God, they're gonna fight? And Brandon's like, that's what we're telling you earlier. And I was, oh, I think I have some opinions, actually. I've suddenly formed a few opinions. I'm no longer go along guy.

They shouldn't do this. The fight went exactly how you think it went. There was about 12 seconds of Fallon Falk going, Tamika's skull is breaking into... We agree men shouldn't beat up women. Right. Side question. Will Gina Carrano beat Rhonda Rousey on May 16th?

All right. What you're going to say is... No, I got it wrong? You think Gina Carano's gonna be Rhonda Rousey? Well, this, the big reveal on these is very strange. I know, yeah, they just kind of tell you in my ear. Yeah, yeah, I think Gina Carano's gonna win. Why you think that?

Because I bet with my heart, not with my brain. Yeah, do you know why I actually, look, I love Gina? She's been on this show. Gina, though, how do I say this? Because I'm a married guy, I don't want it to seem like I'm saying. She's hot. Yeah, she's like kind of, she's slimmed even a little bit, and I just fear.

And she's always been gorgeous. She's always been beautiful. Very beautiful. I fear that now her, like even being a little tremor, that's going to give her a disadvantage in the phone. Oh, by the way, I should be very clear on this. When I'm talking about her body, it isn't about weight fluctuation. It's just like I'm not into like big strong chicks.

There was the muscle thing. It's like, there were times where Gina was like, hey, maybe that's not as hot. She beat the hell out of me, you know. But she's always beautiful. She's always been cool. I'm going to that fight, by the way. Can I, I love Gina. Carrano. Yeah, that's my preface. I hate watching women fight. Yeah, I mean, I like watching

them fight in kind of like in the office when they're just being catty to each other and that's kind of, you know, but in terms of physical fights, I have to walk. If I go to UFC and the girls start fighting, I go get a drink. Interesting. I cannot watch it. I don't know. It might, maybe I'm, I can't tell if that makes me show. Why do you think that is? I can't tell if it's chivalry. Yeah. It might be just chivalry. It might be just chivalry. Or, I don't know, maybe I'm just nuts. What if we gave them weapons? Yeah. And would you be in? Well, yeah, if I didn't have to look the loser in the face afterwards, because she would be spayed out, you know, splattered on the mat,

then maybe I could do it. I'll admit this here. I'm not really into any fighting. Even the guys, I'm going, Jesus, if these were dogs, this would be against the law. You know, like, this is crazy. Like, I watch fake wrestling, or, like, I watch WBE and AEW and stuff like that. Like, I like that it's predetermined. I like that it's a show.

You know, I know they're not really hurting each other. I know they're buddies. So to be honest, any kind of fighting makes me a little, you know, not comfortable. But I'm friends with Joe and I'm friends with Brendan Shob and all these guys who love it. And so they've kind of made me into it just because I like them and I like being around them. But I also have, I'm a hater when it comes to Ronda Rousey. I've always been a hater. I don't like her attitude.

I know that she's a badass and she's the best of what she does. And I respect that. And Joe loves her and defends her and says that she's like a competitor. But I like people that are nice. Could you beat up Ronda Rousey? No. No, I don't think so. I don't see, I remember we asked this.

Let's get that. Let's get that going. Man, that would be a great bit. You'd watch that. I would watch that. I would watch. I'm learning stuff about myself. We asked some, like, millennial,

this is 10 years ago, one of the millennial staffers, back when we were young, when millennials were young, and we were like, do you think that a woman can beat up a man? And he said, absolutely. I was like, I don't think that basically any woman can beat up, basically any man. Yeah. It's like when that tennis player,

Carson Brasch, played the... Yes, they really buried that. Yeah, yeah. You can't almost find that anywhere on the internet. You've got to do some deep dive and find that, yeah. All right, so the only way to find out if Ronda Razzie could beat you up is to film it on this show. I think I could knock her out. Here's what I think. I think I could knock. I got the reach. I got big fists,

whatever. But I think that, like, she would try to do some wormy thing where she gets me on the ground and then she'd break my arm and then everyone would laugh in my face. That's what I think would happen. Because she knows judo. She, you know, she knows what she's doing. So, like, I would say if we fought, she would indefinitely win for sure. Because she'd get wormy.

Yeah. All right. Yeah, she's all squirley and all that. But I think I could maybe just rack her one and then people would be like, oh, dude. But that's, these kind of conversations are tricky, you know? Like, one time you remember. When you're talking about beating women? Yeah, you know?

I mean, I see it on Mortal Kombat all the time. Yeah. Sony Blade gets beat up by Sub-Zero, no one says anything. This is like that. I talk about knocking out Ronda Rousey. Everyone's like, can you believe what he said to Michael Knowles? This is the trash talk before the fight. Yeah, she's going to get wormy and squirrely.

I'll knock her with a right hook. Okay, you're up. I know all my exes and O's with that talk, don't I? Well, me and my buddy, we were always laughing about one time. He's always coming up with these things. He goes, man, you think a chimp could beat up a guy? And then every way he talks about, you know, these monkeys, how strong there and all this stuff. And I go, dude, it wouldn't go the way you think it would go, dude.

What would happen is they'd have some guy out there, like Bobby Lashley, like, I'm going to beat up this monkey. And then the monkeys just kind of doesn't even know he's in a fight. Smoking a seat. Yeah, and Bobby Lash is like, Boog just kills the monkey's dead. And then everyone's like, we shouldn't have done this. Because the monkey don't know he's going to fight a guy. Yeah, yeah. Wow.

You can communicate. Now everyone's just standing by the cage going, oh, God, he just killed that chimp. If at least the monkey put up a fight, I can tolerate it. Everyone just says, why did we do this? Yeah, yeah. We give him lessons. We kept saying, you're going to fight this guy, and he wasn't listening. He doesn't have a...

He was eating an apple. Yeah. It's sad. This is sad. You got to clear your answer. It's a video or photo prompt. Oh, dear. That's your past guest. Sorry, boy.

Man, I'm talking on Africa out there. What's up, Fat Albert? Listen, I need a couple lighters. You got a couple lighters. You're walking around with that f*** down. You want to get up from this. Do you know what you are, ma'am? Don't get your pennies in a bunch.

You need to step the f*** out. I'm telling you right now. I don't understand Jalingo. You like it? That is Ari Kaffir from The Amazing Racist, which was live on MySpace. Man, that really takes me back, too. That's old.

Nice old internet. So here's your question. In the Year of Our Lord, 2026, is this racist? Hmm. I have to think what you're gonna answer. I said no, yeah, give me that point, all right. What do you mean, no?

No, it's not. Because truly that to me is the peak unracist. No, it's not. When you get the Klansman and the black guy, it's not because. Yeah, let's just be clear. Yeah, I want to start with the Klansman. When you have the Klansman calling a black guy,

fat Albert. And boy. And he's carrying a crucifix that he needs lighter fluid for. Yeah. No, it's because, as I can tell, the 90s into the 2000, actually probably pretty much right up to Obama, there was no racism. The racism was kind of over. Starting, I would say, post-Rodney King, pre-Obama, there was this period where race relations were as good as they've ever been. And so the joke here is that like a black guy and a white guy will be in this sketch and it's totally fine.

Even that's supposed to be kind of offensive, but it was all fun in games. Yeah. Whereas now, it got more real. I don't know. Like it seems like all of the really edgy accounts online, all this stuff they're posting is like, hey, hey, do you know about IQs and stuff? And you're like, here we go. Hey, do you know about it? Yeah, yeah.

You know that in Somalia, the IQ is like, yeah, I know. I get what you're saying. that they have been some black people that they yeah i know i know what you're saying man yeah but they mean it really seriously i think whereas there was this kind of but is racist mean seriously yeah i think to be a real racist because things are racist that are funny that's racist but it's also hilarious and it's satire and it's absurd because like like yosemite sam is absurd but he's kind of circles back around to funny because it's so like they really you know and like yeah like this is there's racism that is terrible,

and then there's some racism that's just funny. Yeah, no. But it's damn sure racism. Well, you have to start with the premise that all stereotypes are true. Every stereotype is true. By definition, that's how it became a stereotype. And so if you, like, if you say,

I don't know, I can't think of a good example, I'm standing, of course, from a comedian, I can't think of a good, like, funny example. But if you were to make some stereotypical observation about a black guy or Mexican or whatever, it's like, oh, you know, here we go, Jamal over here. Yeah.

And you're... Pals about it. I don't I think racism implies animosity. I think it implies okay, so that's what you meant that that there's no animosity Yeah, not a it's really the opposite of that whereas today Like if you if you make even the IQ thing or like you know across the street when that guy's walking in the Yeah, yeah. You're gonna say it like this like you know right? You know 13% of population that's 51% of it or whatever it is Because we whisper when we do statistics. Yes, we do. The whispering does, I think, give away a little of the animosity.

Sure. So I think that, no, I think that was probably the least racist America ever was, and it was downhill from there. Yeah, I can agree with that, but I think that, like, I dabble in jokes, because I live in joke world, you know. So, like, I'm just trying to have a good time and be playful. But, like, that's why people go, that's sexist. And you go, yeah, sexism's funny. Yeah, right. It's bad to be sexist.

But it can be funny. And that's kind of the point is we're taking the light out of things. So it's like, yes, racism is bad. Don't be racist. But it's funny. And like we can use jokes and make light of it. You can, there's a nice side of these things that you can use. That could be the next special, the nice side of racism.

Yeah. What do you think, to me, the case and point is that Chris Rock bit, that famous Chris Rock bit from the 90s, where he was like, you know, I love black people, but I hate. Mm-hmm. He's talking about. What's the rest? I forgot, what's that word? Yeah, where's, I don't know this bit.

Where's Kramer when you need him? So he does this bit, you know, and it's very, very famous. He does it for years. And then at some point he stops doing it. Right. And he said he stopped doing it because of the wrong kind of people were laughing a little too hard. Interesting. And it was, when he did it in the 90s, it was all good.

Yeah. But then it's not that the bit changed. It's not that white people and black people change, but the culture change. Yeah. To the point that he was like, you know, all right. This is no longer, it doesn't land quite like it used to. Right, that's interesting. The times kind of change around it.

Yeah, I just think that the jokes are such a good thing for all that. That's why it's weird that people get so mad at comics and me in general for, like, making these things. You're like, well, that's the kind of the point. Yeah. You know, like, people are going to hear these opinions, you know? Like, they don't want to hear CNN talk about trans people. They don't want to hear Fox News talk about trans people. It's going to be considered so tumultuous and anger.

But, like, you'll go listen to a comic talk about it. You know, and be like, oh, I get that. Like, you'll hear it if it's coming through a joke or a comedy club. Right. And that's a kind of a fun, you know, thing for us. Yeah, yeah. That's true. So then I guess the follow-up would be, like, what's your least favorite race?

Good question. I got to go with the Filipinos, I think. That's, like, the nicest one. It's just fresh in my brain because, like, Theo Vaughn always is talking about the Filipinos being the best. And I just go worse. I don't have a worse. I got a favorite. Mexicans, my favorite.

Really? Why? Yeah, their culture's the best. They're very, no, I'm being sincere. I go to Mexico all the time. The Mexicans have the best sense of humor, right? As far as they're never complaining. They're always working really hard.

They're always, they'll do anything. Like, as far as, like, nothing's above them or beneath them when it comes to, like, a job or a family. They always got a nice family, family values. They're very, they like, pro. Pro wrestling, you know, they've always got a... That's true. They usually have two families, one, but they left behind, one in the States. You know, I just, I really value Mexican culture.

I like it. They seem to be grateful and happy, and I really like that. Wow. Yeah. You can go up to, I'll give you an example, because I used to have a travel show on NBC, we'd go to all these different countries. You can go up to a bunch of strangers in Mexico and be like, there you are, you pieces of shit.

Like, they're just happy. They didn't even care what you said. You know, but, Try that in Russia. Yeah. If you go up to just some guys drinking vodka with oranges, like in a parking lot, he's calling pieces of shit, they'll kill you. Yeah, the northern peoples, they are more alcoholic.

I think the most alcoholic country in the world is Iceland. Icelanders are great people, but they're very kind of dark, ironic, alcoholic. And yeah, maybe those southern people. I've got that kind of like everybody's sullen kind of commie look, you know. Jaded, yeah, yeah. Like an 80s villain, you know. I think Mexican culture is very light. It's very like even

just going into a restaurant. You're a tourist, right? Which every country somehow now hates tourists for some reason. But I don't know why that's a train. Give us too much money. Yeah, I don't know. I hate that they come here and love what we do and give us money. But that's the new thing is to hate tourists, but not in Mexico.

They're like, how are you guys? And like, there's a good morning. And yeah, I remember, like, one time I drank too much, which is why I'm clean now, but I just woke up on the ground in Mexico with, like, a sore jaw. I was like, I must have said something. and someone punched me, you know, and so I just wake up in the gravel,

and I was just like, whatever. And this dude coming from a resort that worked at the resort goes, holo, amigo, and I was like, hello friend. He just saw some loser that got knocked out the night before who's clearly got a drinking problem, and he's working at a resort, and he saw me and thought, hello, friend. That's like so nice.

That's nice. They're the best race. All right, because I previously hated Mexicans. You're convincing me. Okay, all right. Comedy wins. Okay, all right. If you had to choose a struggle between being Spanish, French-Canadian, German, and of Jewish descent,

would being Canadian be the heaviest burden? A funny question. If you had to choose, I know I'm trying to figure out what it means. If you had to choose a struggle, a conf, as some have called it, between the Spaniards, the French-Canadians, the Germans, and the Jews, do the Canadians have it the worst? Well, this is more of a joke than a question. So now hold on you gotta put your answer, I'll guess your answer. All right, ready?

According to Wikipedia, the Canadians have the heaviest burden. You had a choose it. Is it with being a good cigar, by the way? Thank you, thanks. I appreciate that. How often do you smoke cigars on this? I very rarely actually on this show. Nice. But when you came in, you said, oh, I wish we were having a cigar. I was like, cigars!

I know, go to the humidor immediately! One time I had a meeting here and I asked if I could meet you and I went into your thing and you were just in the middle of working or something. I was like, hey, I'm like walking around. Hey, what is this? And I was like, I'm really into cigars and you're like, all right, I can tell you.

You're like, I'm, dude, well, who is this guy that's wandering? But I remember thinking, I'll smoke a cigar with this guy. Another solicitation for cigars coming by. Yeah, yeah, I'm glad. All right, we got some extra. But we did it. Yeah, we're smoking cigars. Okay.

What do you think I wrote to this verbal nonsense? This plithy display of words. Okay, I say yes. Nope. Point Jeff. Who is it? The Jews? No, French Canadians. French can't...

And they, you know what it is? Everything in my life is valued by kindness, right? You can make whatever joke, you can do whatever you'd like, really. You could have terrible values, but if you're kind, that's what I like. I like nice, kind people. And so that's why I like the Mexicans, I was saying earlier. but French Canadians are They're so mad all the time

I'm always trying to cheer them up The whole time I'm there I'm like, what's your problem? And they're like, no, they're just always They hate Americans, they hate, I don't know Everything, they hate Canada, yeah, so they That's the greatest Oh, so the Canadians don't have, well, hold on

But it's the heaviest burden Like they're the most put upon people The French Canadians behave like the most put upon people But they're not really. No, they're not. They have a silly little province In a silly country Right, they're safe.

Because of us. Yeah. Yeah. So that's, it's sort of like... He's Canadian. Somebody's got to put them in check. My argument... We could take over that place in, I don't know, 30 minutes. You want us to come get it, Canada? Hold on.

Tighten up. I'm getting another interruption in my ear. Davies says that's not what I mean by the question. What do you mean? You want to pull up a chair, Mr. Davies, to explain your questions? Who is this? Bring him out here. According to Wikipedia, he says.

The old Wizard of Oz is going, that's not what I meant. He's like, pay no attention, eh? Mm-hmm. Okay, according to Wikipedia, what? Oh, so he says, so Davies, who didn't write any of this in the question, he says, you Oh, me. You are Spanish,

French, Canadian, German, and Jewish. Dude, it's hilarious that I read all those and didn't even put that to me. That's wild. This falls on me. I didn't even know. I just see myself as a white guy, and didn't even think about where my parents are from.

Yeah, okay, fair enough. But don't edit this out. I think all that was fun. Yeah, no, that's, okay, that was my fault. Which of all of those, which do you best identify? Oh, that's hilarious. None of them, really. No. Because my mom does genealogy, so she's, and if you don't know what genealogy is,

she just finds everything, your whole, all of your family tree, and it becomes so uninteresting. Yeah, yeah. You know, like, sounds interesting. And then your mom's like, did you know that your great, great, great, great, great grandfather worked in a store? And I'm like, who cares? There's no one famous, no one gives it. The whole family tree is a joke. And so the truth is we're just super like American at this point.

And like even that lineage of French, Canadian and Spanish and Jewish and German goes so far back. Yeah. That I don't really link any of it at all. And also like my mom, she's always finding new information now that the internet is growing so rapidly. They're like, I'm not even sure how Jewish we are. Yeah. You know, like, it's like, you know, but being Jewish is somehow this, like, starlit thing in Hollywood. So, like, when she said it, I go, am I Jewish?

Yeah, did you, did you, did you, did you, would be Jewish? No, never. Never done that. No, never. Hi, Jeffrey Dyeb. Because it's so not anything. We don't celebrate none of it. I think my mom just mentioned it.

It's, like, so far back that, you know. Jeffrey Goldblum died. Nice to meet you. Wait, and I get to go to Israel for free? Yeah, I'm one. I'm one. Yeah. The other thing about the genealogy stuff is if you get the,

websites or the apps, like Ancestry.com, it'll say, you'll like do it because a bunch of people just add their trees to it. Sure. It'll say like, you're descended from Henry VIII and Genghis Khan. Oh yeah, eventually. Yeah, and it's like, I emailed, this is embarrassing. I emailed the College of Arms in the UK to see if I could use the Knowles Crest because I was descended from this guy, Sir Francis Knowles, who was the keeper the privy person, and I emailed them and it was like, I just found this out. And then they responded to me and they were like, actually, no, you're not. You're not. You're not. You made that up. He was like, all those websites are bogus, and it's not true, and you don't get to use the arms.

Isn't it weird? First of all, that sucks. That happened to you. I'm sorry. Thank you. But also, isn't it crazy that we live in the most conspiracy-obsessed world, right? The internet has really turned us on to all these things where we're going, oh, did you know, maybe this? And these people are lizard people, and, you know, this is all, everyone's freaking the heck out.

But then we're so comfortable, just sending our DNA to some warehouse. Where am I from? Yeah. Dude, they can just racking up everyone's DNA in these buildings. They can frame you for any crime, any time. Or just make another one of you. Yeah. Well, I'm not worried about another Jeff,

but I'm worried about them sprinkling it on some girl that's missing. Mm-hmm. His DNA's all over this chick, and I got to even know that lady. You know, like, that's what I'm afraid of. That's a very specific example. Hold on. This is the... Well, it's making a murderer, you know,

when they found that Stephen Avery, Like, they found that they had punctured the samples from his prison DNA. Really? Yeah. So, they, like, they found blood on the girl's car. And they're like, well, his DNA was on it. But then they went to the prison, and somebody had tampered with all of his blood samples from the prison. This is going to be what the cops point to when you get arrested for killing that lady.

And they'll say, no, but my defense is, I talked about how I definitely didn't do that on Michael's. So therefore, I'm innocent. Yeah, okay. You're up, and I'm clearing my answer, okay. All right. Of course, and also apologies to the Wizard of Oz on the last question. You've made a good question, and we all ran them over the coals.

We did. Increasingly, of all the conspiracy theories about strange humanoid beings, aliens, Kandahar giants, Bigfoot, is Bigfoot now actually the most ridiculous? And I have to say what you're going to think. Yeah. Correct.

You got that right. Nice. Because there's way more absurd ones than Sasquatch. Yeah. Also, there were... You'd have to be... You're way too smart to think that that's the most absurd. Thank you.

There were just reports of a Bigfoot. Like, again, that's probably not real. But what's the craziest one? Well, actually, before we just mull over that, that's ridiculous. is there's always reports all the time. Just because it made it to Yahoo News doesn't mean that, you know, they just had a few reports in Ohio. Yes, every day people are seeing bipedal hominids in the woods. Also, monkeys that walk upright isn't that absurd, especially if they're nocturnal, living in the woods.

I think there's thousands of them. It's just a descendant of giganticithicus when the Asian land was like they, I think they migrated over here. These are just descendants of gigantic. So you're totally Bigfoot billed. Bigfoot's real. And also, I'm happy to talk about Bigfoot with anyone who thinks it's real or not real if they've done any homework. That's the problem is people go, oh, that's all made up. And I go, but you don't know about it.

You've not read a single thing. Yeah. You've not looked into it. You've never asked Indians or loggers or people that are out in the woods all the time. You don't ask any of these guys that are out there. It's wildly likely that there's creatures in our caves that we don't know about, that there's hominids or primates that we just haven't discovered. We have people we haven't discovered yet. And yet we think that like, oh, Bigfoot's not real.

It's like you live in Sherman Oaks. What the hell do you know about Bigfoot? So it's always people that know nothing about it who want to tell me that it's fake. Yeah, they're a weird multicolored light up fish at the bottom of the ocean that we just discovered like six minutes ago. Well, you know, pandas. People in China were going, yeah, we're seeing these black and white bears, and everyone's like, you guys are idiots. And, like, so pandas were just considered, like, nonsense until not that long ago. And then even gorillas was, like, 1890 or something, which is a long time ago.

But that means all the way up until 1890, people were like, oh, sure, there's a giant, like, human-looking thing with muscles. And you're like, and now what's going to happen is Bigfoot's going to get discovered or killed or put in a zoo, and everyone's going to go, oh, yeah, we knew. What do you mean? You call them crazy forever. Yeah, they're going to gaslight you. Are you... Where do you stand on aliens? Oh, aliens are definitely real.

They're real. I think they're totally... I think they're here. I think they've been here. I think there's lots of different types of aliens. Do you think they're... Okay, because I think if it's a real thing that people are seeing, I think it's probably demons.

Like, they're not physical beings. Sure. Virtual beings. Are you, you think they're physical, little... I don't know. Much about it. No, that's the thing. My favorite thing about conspiracies is not pretending know the answer, but just knowing that there's a possibility of it. You know what I'm saying? Like, I don't know that 9-11 was an inside job. I just know that what they're telling us isn't

true. But that doesn't mean I pretend I know what's real. You know who I think was finding? It's just when you show me a thing and we can prove that it's not. I go, well, that's bullshit. And then the news might have lied about that. Yeah. It doesn't mean I think there's some coup or that America did it or anything. I just know that like some of the things they're telling us happened aren't true. That's all. You know who I think, so we were talking about your ancestry and everything? Yeah. And because some people said, oh, it was the Taliban was harboring these people who,

and they came from Saudi Arabia, and there were 19 hijackers who had previously. But speaking of your ancestry, no one ever talks about the French Canadians. That's right, dude. Whatever points. Get those. No. Yeah. No, we know how we know it was in the French Canadians?

Oh, wow. Because that would just be us. Canada is like a woman, you know? Canada's like, keep us safe. Keep us safe and then you're like, oh, are we together? And they're like, well, we're going to know, we're like, what? Canada can't keep talking about America when we've been keeping them safe forever. Yeah.

How about a little gratitude? Yeah, and you never get it. They talk so much trash about us. And I'm like, we love Canada. Yeah. We love them. We keep them safe. Like, I don't understand.

Like, oh, Xi Jinping, it's so nice. Wow, thanks for looking at me. Yeah. It just did it. It was like three weeks ago. I hate it. They're looking over at China. Yeah.

Well, like I said, it'll take us 30 minutes. And all my Canadian friends are going to be like, dang it, we shouldn't have talked all that trash. Yeah. Yeah. We're going and liberating Tim Hortons. Abortion happens fast, folks. Speaking of death, right now, in towns and cities across the country, women, that was an amazing transition. In your opinion.

Some say. You said, what an amazing transition. I go, I was a little jarred by it. This is a serious topic. Women are being pushed to make life-changing decisions in moments of fear and confusion. Many of them feel trapped. like there's no real choice at all, but because of people like you, there is. At our sponsor Pre-Borne Network Clinics, a woman is met not with pressure or judgment,

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Yeah, when you were a little baby. I keep getting this ultrasound. They said men can have babies and I got nothing. That is actually a club sub for Jersey mics. This is not a baby, Jeff. You don't have to keep coming in here. You're a guy. Oh, so conservative.

That's fine. Here's another 28 bucks. Give me my ultrasound. Didn't know my hospital was so Republican. Just Chipotle again? Are you- I want a baby? Are you ready?

Yep. For the rapid fire round. Let's do it. Three questions, three seconds. No time to outthink each other. The score, wow. The score right now is tied. We're both at negative one.

That means neither of us are going to Iran. Iran, Iran, what is it? I... It's Iranian, but it's Iran. Yeah. So that's a fun, weird. phonetic thing. I change it based on how American I want to sound. Oh, that's interesting. Remember Obama really shifted? Iran. Pakistan. You did that whole thing. And so then we were

flexibly on the right shifted to like Iran or whatever. Yeah, I go back and forth. I'm smug about that stuff. Like when a girl will be telling a sentence about she'll be like, oh, and my, she's like Hispanic and she's like, my grandma makes the best tortas. And you go, why did you say tortas like that? Yeah. Like she'll say just tortas in the Spanish. dialect. Yeah, I hate them. And it's like, so I think if you're saying the whole sentence English, you should be like, my grandmother makes the best tortas. Yes. But if you're saying it in Spanish, then definitely hit all those things. Yeah, no, when I do, they'll yell at me sometimes on the show and say, actually, it's Pakistan or whatever. Yeah. Actually, it's Bayeia or whatever.

I speak English. Yes, I think, I go to an Italian restaurant. I'm with Italian extraction. I go to an Italian restaurant. I don't sit there and say, you know what, I would like a glass of ice tea and I would like a plate of the... Spaghetti a la carbonara. Yeah, yeah, they'd be insulted. Hey! Yeah, I don't do that. It's very silly.

Yeah, but what's your final? Scroozy, go, gougé, like you don't do all the things for like wine? You know, that's annoying. You can't do that, no. I don't like it. No, I do, though, when I go to laundromats. His example is better.

I do, when I go to laundromats, I do speak the only Chinese I know. They probably hate that. And my grandma taught it to me when I was a little boy. Oh, really? And it is, of course, no tickey, no washi. You ever learned that when you were a kid? I don't think that's Chinese at all. I think it's okay, ready, here we go.

Are eggs meat? Correct. Yeah. Babies once asked me during Lent, he says, I said I had eggs for breakfast on a Friday. He said, is eggs not meat? That was the direct quote. Really? That's a very arrogant way to ask that.

Yeah. It's not fertilized, dummy? Thank you. Yeah. I'm going to take that clip out and just text it to him. Is anything worth stealing, worth stealing twice? Oh, you got it wrong? Answer, oh, I got it wrong.

That was your answer. Did you put your answer or my answer? I put my answer. Yeah, okay. All right, you say no. Shoot, I'm going to have to... Yeah, because I don't think people should steal anything ever once, twice, 20 times. Well, yes.

Thiefs are pieces of... So I initially just went to know. I think it's the lowliest crime. I think we should cut people's hands off when they steal. They used to do that. They should. You know where else they stole that? You're the scum of the earth when you steal.

And start small. You steal like candy and you think, oh, you know, are they, oh, I'm only stealing this because it's gross. And you can teach people about ethics real easy with thief. Is it, is it the worst crime? No, but it's just like this scumbaggery kind of, it's like a little rape just taking someone's thing. Yeah, a little rape.

It is. They call an orgasm, the little death. It feels so, like, it feels so like intrusive. Like someone's rummaging through you. your things and they took your stuff. And yeah, and it's so grubby because they're only focused on a material good. They just want stuff. You just take it

from someone. Like obviously, you know, there's levels of it, but I think it's the worst. Yeah, okay. All right. I might. Yeah, sorry, Davies still wants to have a conversation. You can make time with my assistant if you want to have a meeting with me afterward, but right now I'm speaking to my friend Jeff Dye, okay?

So can we, can I love the dynamics of the place around? It's just unbelievable. I'm trying to... Like I was really Clock in the hair and makeup of their dynamic between those gals and that's my favorite there that's the highlight of my day Yeah dude is then I get thrown in with my producer mr okay uh this is a real rapid fire run Last question is gatekeeping men's spaces and hobbies from women Necessary to preserve them. Yeah, certainly yes you have to it's not in there's some people say well you know and Women can have their own cigar club or whatever right but I think no the whole point

You need, if you want to have a space just for one group, you have to exclude people. You get to say no sometimes. Yeah, and also I think there's nothing wrong with men's spaces. There's nothing wrong with women's spaces. Yeah. That's healthy. Yeah. Like, I don't understand, like, you know, people talk about like men's sports.

It's men's sports. Yeah. Sorry, that's a men's space. Oh, they won't let us in the locker room to interview the boys. Yeah, well, this is a men's space. Yeah. Stupid. Where you don't go, man, I can't interview the girls while they're showering.

No. Well, I got to get the best beat on Angel Reese's seven-point game, you know? It's okay to have girl things and guide things. Don't be a jerk about it. It's fine. It's like you join the country club, and it's like, look, this is a whites-only space. That's where we get carried away. But like men and women's space is like that's just totally normal.

Yeah. Like I go to the cigar lounge by my house, and I listen to the. men complain about their wives and kids, which they love. Yeah. They love their wives and kids. They just need a place to kind of go get it off their chest. They don't mean it. They just want to go, hey, you know, my wife bought a blender that's $500. They don't really care. Yeah. But they just want a guy to go, yeah, my wife, don't get me started. And then they go home to their wives and kids who they love. Yes. And I imagine women are doing that also, like my husband's being annoying and

there's like some space for that. That's very healthy. You need to because otherwise, I remember I was watching you do a whole bit on this. And I was like, that's so true. Where I, a little confession here, I get very sappy with my wife and kids. I'm a real softy. You're nice. Yeah. Thank you. But you do need to be able to be like, you know, let me tell you.

Beth, the old ball and chain. Yeah, it's just healthy. Yeah. Well, I mean, we think, like thinking about my dog. Like, he couldn't be more perfect, but I'm still like, I got to take this. this thing out to pick it up and in a bag, you know? But like, this doesn't mean I don't like my dog. Same thing with kids.

Yeah. And I don't want to say that in front of my dog. And I don't want to, you know, I don't want to say it in front of your wife. I think those are comparable. Yeah, yeah, of course. People we love. The other, and the other sad thing, too,

it's kind of like the monkey in the boxing match. The dog's probably not even gonna notice. So you're gonna feel bad. He's gonna hear, I'm talking smack about it. He said, he could feel that energy. Mm-hmm. He goes, he's talking. All right, you're up.

Hold on. Mr. Davies wants to talk again. Please, please tell me, this is the yes or no game with Mr. Davies, please. Only you can hear him, so you sound like you're going crazy. Wait, Holly, he's bringing something up about rape? Say, wait, what? Oh, doctor. Is that another ad read?

Did you rape the jersey? Mr. Davies wants to know, because this is his show now, I guess. Yeah. He wants to know, did you rape the jersey that you stole twice? Oh, yeah, yeah. Well, that was more of a funny gag. See, everything gets dismissed when it's a joke in my life, you know? Whenever I do something, I'm like, I was playing around, you know.

Yeah, that was more, I guess, yeah, yeah, but it wasn't it gross, you know, when I stole that jersey? That'd be a great game, like, when you get in the boxing room with a monkey, and you just kill the monkey, and you're just like, ah! What a game! Isn't this funny? What a game! All right. Could AI eventually replace stand-up comedians entirely? And that's a...

We do that one? Yeah, that's my answer. I think you think, I'm hoping. Yeah, no, it cannot. Yeah, good, good, good, no, it can't. Really, I don't even think specials could replace the actual club work of comedians. Because it's so interpersonal. Yeah.

It actually, even if you're not Don Rickles or something, well, you do it. You do crowd work. It's like the, you actually need, the comedy does come from an interplay of the real people. Sure, it's a dialogue, which people don't think it is, but it is. Also, um, Comedy's too tricky. You're playing with too many nuanced things mixed with like, you're saying a thing that, like, we don't ever do that with the Bible, right?

Like Jesus goes, you know, forgive your enemies. And we don't go, but we don't know how he said it, you know? Maybe he was like, oh, forgive your enemies. You know, like you don't, there's too many different ways to say a thing that I don't think AI is smart enough to be able to figure out. The other thing, it's the same reason AI can't really write a poem is to do comedy, you have to create a fresh image in people's minds. Like, not a dead metaphor, not a cliche. It has to startle people by its incongruity or its absurdity or something like that. So it has to be a sincerely new metaphor a lot of the time.

And AI actually can't do that because an AI is only trained on language that exists. So dead metaphors. And it has no sensory experience. So it can't really make those new connections. It would have to steal some stuff that's already out there. That's all AI is a big search engine, right? It's just is like how it's accumulating all the things that are already out there and then searching it, right?

It's a thief and a rapist. Yeah, okay. There's a bunch of stuff on here. Do I keep asking anyone's on here? Okay. Is podcasting just therapy for men who won't go to therapy? What do I think you'll say? You got it wrong.

It's not as close. There's some confession. is therapy for men and won't go to therapy. And it's good. I highly recommend confession. But no, you know what Steve Insider, podcasting? Yeah. Is, uh, it's, it's often a social life for men who increasingly don't have social lives. Sure.

Women still to some degree, which is weird because women don't have deep friendships and men do. But women still do social things. They go out and see people. Whereas men increasingly do not. And I mean this both for the podcaster and the podcastee, people who listen to them. But every, at least every white man in America now legally has to have a podcast. So they're actually the same group of people. Yeah. And they,

so it's this, it is social in a certain sense, but it's kind of one step removed. It's almost parisocial. It's not, so you replace your, like you'd go hang out with the guys, you go to the cigar club,

whatever. You replace it with, like I'm, I feel like I am friends with a lot of people because I listen to their podcasts. Yeah. And often I haven't even met them. Yeah.

Yeah. Right. I think therapy, I think podcasting, at least my podcast, is therapy for sure, for me. Because to steal from the great Jordan Peterson to talk is to think. Do you do a Jordan Peterson impression? No, but I respect him too much. I actually get mad when people do an impression. Yeah, because I like him so much that I got to stop making him sound.

It'd be like, I just love him too much to receive any good impression of him. I don't have a good sense of humor about it. You know, so that's all it is. Those impressions are hilarious, and he does kind of sound like Kerman and all that. But it'd be like if I- Some day we'll find it, the rainbow connection. Yeah, but it'd be like if I'm like, Hey, check out this impression of your wife.

Ooh! And you'd go, hey Jeff, that's not really funny to me. I love my wife. That's how I feel about Jordan Peterson. I'm like, yeah, I get it, but knock it off. The guy changed my life. Yeah. But Jordan talks about, I don't know if it's even his idea,

but he says that, uh, he says that, uh, You know, we're going around thinking, we're thinking all day, but we're not really thinking. We're kind of going through like mental habits. You're just kind of going to about your day. But when you podcast or when you talk to a good friend or when you talk to someone, you're forced to articulate all of your ideas and thoughts and ideas. And that is therapy. Having to put it into the words to explain or defend your position or justify your idea or justify your moral stance on something. And that is therapy. Because now you're like, wow. Like, like, like, some things that you think are normal once you articulate you realize are absurd. Yeah. Like I my therapist, we're talking about the 90s and I'm like, can you believe we were just pants in people? You know, like, I've never really thought about it. It was just

like, yeah, you pants people. But we really had to explain what it was where you're like, yeah, you'd wait for your friend who trusts you to be like holding a tray of food or something and then you would just pants him in front of the whole school. Yeah. Which is a trauma for sure. And then if he told on you, you'd act incredulous.

Like, oh, God. Here we go. All we did was pull his pants and underwear down in front of the whole school. And now he told on us? We're going to have to beat the shit out of that guy. He snitched on us for the crimes we did to him. And then you're now, your friend starts wearing his sister's eyeliner to school. He gets really into the cure, you know, and he starts working at GameStop for 30 years, all because you and your buddies wanted to pay. He's insane. Once you have to say it, then it becomes, you realize the gravity of all these things.

Yeah. You know, like, explain why you feel this way about your daughter or something. And when they have to, like, really say it, they're really thinking about it. And that's why they get choked up or that's why. So I think to speak is to truly think. And that's what therapy is supposed to be. Yeah, it's true. Yeah, but it's not like philosophy.

No. It's like a kind of introspective social thinking. And that's why young people have, when, like, you see these man on the street things, we might dismiss these things on daily wire or any of these things when you saw a guy goes and asks a college kid to be like, you know, and those are kind of fun gotcha reels. Like, look, this kid's an idiot. But it's because that young person probably never had to really explain how or why they think the thing they do. And so it's really healthy to make them do that.

Yeah. Because then they're gone, damn it. Like, I've never, I don't know, I'm just, I'm working on feelings. It feels right to defend these marginalized groups or it feels right to defend trans people. But when I really have to put it into words, the logic isn't there. No, that's good. And all that stuff isn't there. So, like, the feelings are good.

I'm glad these kids have all these great feelings. I guess the heart is good. But now we're forcing them to use the brain, you know? Yes. No, because the question clearly meant to deride podcasting by comparing it to therapy. But you actually made it seem good. Yeah, I think it's healthy. Yeah, and it reminds me when I was a freshman in college, I was talking to my roommate.

And we were talking about politics, what we were thinking about. And I was like, oh, yeah, well, I'm on the right side because I think this and that. And why is this good? And why is this good? Because it leads to this. And finally we got down to it. I said, well, because, you know, it's about liberty. And my roommate asked me this question that floored me.

He goes, well, why is liberty good? And I got really angry. I said, what are you, you're being? Coursen-d-d-d-you-court. So, oh, it's actually a good question. Yeah. Why is liberal? I had never, I was at that time a libertarian.

Right. I had never even considered why liberty is good. Yeah. I can go a step further. Having to explain, if you just start going, why, why, why, why, having to explain why it would be immoral for someone to be attracted to young people or children or animals or something, trying to defend that position of why that is. immoral, which we all think is absurd, you would never even have to do that. But by having to explain

why it is, obviously I'm correct, you shouldn't be hooking up with animals and children and things or minors. Especially young animals. That's like a horse of them. But by explaining it, I did get this overwhelming sense of compassion for people who might struggle with that. Yeah. Because now the feelings got involved where I'm like, man, I can imagine being in a position where you're so, where you're conflicted with these attractions to things that are immoral and unjust. And I think that's where a conservative struggle. I'm a conservative and I struggle with, I'm so right about a lot of these issues because I've brain busted the words and the articulating and the defending and the arguing.

But I haven't been very nice about it because I'm so, it's liberty, stupid. Yeah, yeah, right. But then that forces you to go, okay, you know, this is a fair question. And I need to work on my heart about this. Like, I'm being a little hard on these trans people, and I should be more sensitive, and then they're going to hear it, because I've got all the facts.

No, it's so right. It's very easy to be nice to Mother Teresa. Sure. It's actually hard to be nice to the guy in prison or the theater or whatever. And then you think, well, the grimyest, most wicked type of criminal is a pedo. You think, well, hold on.

But aren't I supposed to, at least be somewhat gracious in how I think about things? Yeah. Even as I'm trying to explain something profoundly evil. Like, because, you know, you can convince people as to why it's bestiality or something like this. Yeah. But then what if, when you have to explain to someone, a brother and a sister, they're both 65 years old, well past childbearing age, they want to have an incestuous relationship. Is that wrong? Right. It is. But why is it wrong? That you have to defend it. Yeah. That's not saying right. Like he's like, you have to explain why that's... And you can't, based on how most people think about it, the reason they think it's wrong to sleep with animals or children or something is because, well, there's no consent. Yeah. But in the case of the 65-year-old siblings, who want to be freaky. They can consent.

What if the animal is entering the person? That's consent. Yeah, that's an image in my mind now that I did not really expect. Because you could say that's too, do you know what I'm saying? But these are the kind of conversations you have to like really defend your position on. There's a play about. No, maybe the one thing that I think with like what you just reminded me of while we were talking about it is that like, you know, like racist, like racist people. There are very evil racist people, or they're not evil, but they're racist people, and we're taught, and we're teaching young people to just hate them.

They're the worst, and that's the worst thing you can be. Or, to be nice and teach them that being racist is ignorant and stupid. Where's your compassion for these people? Yeah, and called for only in certain circumstances. Let's reform them. Let's make them not racist. Let's not just go, beat them up, and that's just probably going to make them a little more racist. Yeah, yeah.

You know, so I think that like you have to have all angles of those things. Like you can say, you'd be like, look, racists are very, very bad. Yeah. They're not as bad as gypsies. You know? Yeah, okay. All right. You get it. All right, there's one more.

One more, okay. Generally speaking is a relationship between a 37-year-old woman and a 24-year-old ticotker too large of an age gap. And I have to think what you would say. Hmm. And this started with generally speaking. speaking, by the way. Yeah, it is. Ooh.

It is. Called it. But only because he's 24 and she's 37. Like if he were 54 and she were 67, it wouldn't matter. Yeah. But because he would, ostensibly the point of the relationship is to get married if you're a 24-year-old guy. And probably, the point of getting married is deaf kids.

And if you get married, let's say they get married, 38. 39, the odds of having kids are very, very low, and so you'd be subverting the very purpose of the marriage. And so the relationship would be pointless. Yeah, but do we need to be making more TikTokers? You know, if this kid... That's a good point. Yeah, yeah. This says of an age gap, for what, though?

For, you know, for a healthy relationship, for a nice family? Who knows? Who knows? Yeah. No, you're right. That's a good way to take the TikTokers out of the bloodline. Yeah, and also it's like... It's like, for what?

I don't know. Like, people date all the time. I'll see some old guy with some young chick, and I roll my eyes, but if they're happy. Yeah. Right, but if you see an old lady with some young guy, everyone would be like, you go, girl, look at her. So it's like, who cares? Yeah. Yeah.

But I got that right, so you're going to I-Wed it. You got it right. Okay, this is rough. I have one chance to redeem myself. Before we get to that, though, you watch the show. You love the show. You know you need unique New York. Well, you can.

get your hands on the game. Yes or no game. Yeah. Here it is. Best-selling, most important game with the DailyWire, only available at DailyWire.com slash shops. It's simple. It's addictive. It will tell you exactly how well you really know the people in your life. Hundreds of cards, up to nine players, no liberal nonsense. Plus, you can add onto the fun, with the conspiracy expansion pack, with the politics, religion, and philosophy expansion packs, with all the Expansion facts, whether you are testing your family at dinner, we're settling debates with friends. Yes or No delivers the goods. Get a special deal on the game right now for a limited time.

Go to DealerWire.com slash shop and order the yes or no game today. Are you ready for the final round? This prompt. You see if we change the lights. The prompt will be read. We will both lock in our answers. And then we will move our glasses to yes or no to see if we can read. the other person's mind. The round is worth double points. It could change everything. The score right now,

we're tied at zero. Oh. Yeah. This was all pointless. Okay. So, we put the glasses, so here, I'll put mine on Nol's. It's all under it. Yeah, you, yeah. You put yours on, no, you put yours on die. Oh, die. Okay. I'm going to read the prompt. You lock in your answer, and then you move my glass to where you think I would go. You got it. There's a video prompt. Okay. Today's the day. I spent the last two years studying every post, every video, monitoring likes, engagements, who's being rewarded and who's being punished. Just look, I order one bottle of champagne.

I called my agent, got the okay. They said they don't love it, but they understand. They've already had other clients drop something similar. It is for a celebration, so if you have sparklers too, that would be good. Benefits of supporting Israel are a relic of the past. And today, it is I who will drop my pro-Palestine post. One flag, no words. Simple, elegant.

Some even might say courageous. Who the fuck is Venezuela? Post October 7th, is this the most difficult time in history for people in entertainment to take a clear political stance? Is this the most difficult time? Yeah, everyone talks about,

oh, this is bad for the Jews, oh, this is bad for the Palestinians. What about the people in show business? Is this the most difficult time for people in entertainment to take a clear political stance? And I put what I think you'll say. No, you put what you think.

I put what I think. Yeah, the... Okay. And now we move the glasses to where you think the other person would go. We might be tired again. We both lost. It was both... Oh, we both won.

It is, yeah. I was going to say the harder time was in communism when all the Hollywood people were communists. Yes. You know, the committee on American activities and McCarthyism and all. But there, it was easy. They all pretended not to be communism. We're communists. Right.

This one is hard because you go, you've got to find a guy on the right, a guy in the left, a Democrat, a Republican, whatever. You don't really know, especially with young people, you really don't know what they think about Israel, Palestine. You just have no idea. Yeah, and also, they're all like, they're all liars. Like, that's how Hollywood works. They're actors. They'll say, like, whatever they think that they will get cheers for. Well, what are they going to get cheers?

And then they're like, aha. So then they go, oh, I know to say that one. You know, and I know to say this one, and they learn all those things because they're these little, like, night crawler shapeshifters. Yeah. And then the truth is, is like, I can't tell you how many Hollywood actors I've met. Very famous all the way down to, like, D-List reality stars, who are liberal this, liberal that. And then they get me, and they go, hey, you know, actually, they're all closeted conservatives. The thing with the left right now is some of the power players.

Some of the elite libs are still pro-Israel. The whole base, the whole group of young people, and many of the eccentric people are pro-Palestine. On the right, the boomers very, very pro-Israel. Except some of the boomers, the old paleocons, don't really like Israel. And then you get to the young people, and it depends how edgy and online they are. Most of them, probably anti-Israel. Some of them still like, you know, young Republican club, red tie. pro-Israel. So you're doing a show, let's say you're doing a show for, it's a split house,

you got some lives there, maybe you've got a lot of conservatives there, and you need to make a joke. Yeah. What do you, where you, I just go for the joke, whatever it is. Yeah, no matter what, those are the rules. But I think why I'm having success is because I don't talk about things that are that complex. I'm kind of your everyday man as far as just in general. Not, not by design, it's just who I am. Like, I am, I, you'll never, you'll never, you'll never, hear a joke for me about Israel, Palestine. Yeah. Because I don't know. It's very complex. I can find 10 reasons on this

side why these people can justify their behavior. I can find 10 people or 10 reasons on this side. And so for me, it makes it very tough to make a joke. But you don't have to be a genius to go that guy shouldn't be swimming with those girls. Right. Right. And so that's kind of an obvious one. And then people hear my comedy

and go, oh yeah, because it's I'm a simple dude, you know? Like, it doesn't take much to go, yeah. But Seinfeld, in the early part of the Trump era, he was asked why he doesn't do jokes about Trump. And he said, he was like, I don't want to do jokes about Trump, I want to do jokes about strawberries. Right, which makes total sense. Yeah. I think the Israel-Palestine thing also, furthermore, is like really helping politics in a way because it's forcing people to kind of get out of their tribes.

All these Jewish people who thought they were liberals for so long are now going on. This is interesting. This is how people think. Be like these libs hate Jews, but also some of these conservatives hate. Jews. I need to move to Iran after yeah, because maybe now it'll be a kind of... And it's the first time they've ever been like

maybe I'm not a Democrat. Ever in their entire lives. And I, like the only argument I've ever heard against that was my buddy Alex who's a very funny comedian. He said, he goes, well, Amphotized Semitism's been on both sides forever. And I'm like, what a great excuse to just

to stay tribal, you know? Yeah, yeah. It reminds me of, because like, Norm, would do, he would tackle political issues, but it was always in the craziest way. So he, instead of just kind of making a little bit of a joke about, you know, Jews or Palestinians or whatever, he would just do a 15-minute bit

needling someone on like a Holocaust denier. Right, and you'd go so far. Well, that's how my show is. Like, I'm talking about everything's political now. So, like, it's, you know, essentially 100% of my act is political. But I just think it's better to go out. things that aren't as complex as that. And if you want it really, like,

do you remember during COVID when like people are like in the stores, like in early COVID? And you have like the liberal lady wearing like a space suit while she's at Whole Foods. And then you had like a guy like my dad who's just like no mask. Yeah. He's like, I'm not doing it.

And he's like, eating tangling. Yes, yeah, and he's like spitting. And it's like, this is all the scam. And you know, like, and you're listening to the spacesuit lady go, you gotta wear your mask, and the guy like my dad's like, I'm not doing it, boy. And she's like, girl, and they're arguing or whatever. And I remember thinking when I'd see those videos on the internet

or see it happen in her life that I'm like, this psycho I don't agree with her and this psycho I don't agree with him. Is it like, can we both just work this out? We're going through something together. Can we both just figure this out? And that's how I think about Israel and Palestine. Yeah, can they just work it out? Yeah.

What a thousand more years of this warring crap? Yeah, it's like, no, I think similarly with COVID, I think like, can't we just? inflict a bio weapon on the entire region and then we don't have to worry about it anymore, you know? Yeah, exactly. Okay. Last one. Last one. Final question. Cue the lights. If you had to repeal one amendment in the hopes of a greater flourishing and safety for people in America, would it be the 19th Amendment? Now if we could just get a quick refresher on the 19th amendment. You know, for the audience. Yeah. Yeah.

Jeff or Jeff Jeff knows lots of stuff. Yeah, yeah. Very smart guy. I once have right to bear arms. Everyone knows that. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you know, we all know the 16th, 17, 18th, and just... Just for refresh.

Yeah, what would... So people, I had this debate with a major politician, and it was people always go for women voting. But it was an implicit debate because we were talking about We were talking about all sorts of different amendments. There's how many of them? Something like 26? That's what I heard.

Somewhere around there, maybe, yeah. Okay. I already told him what the 19th. This guy doesn't understand. Can we please get a new producer to this show? He tells, he goes, you should tell Jeff what the 19th amendment is. I said, I just very graciously did that. Women's suffrage.

Yes, I just read. Do you see how I did that? These broads voting on stuff that they don't even want to. And then he says, tell him it's women voting. No. Let us vote. Let us vote. But we refuse.

to go to battle. Yeah. Let us foot, let us foot, but I don't want to plumb or be a construction worker or do any of what the real workforce is. I like the verb plumb. Like one who goes a plumbing. Yeah, I'm a plumber.

You need plumbing? I'm a plumb man. Okay, so I give my answer. And now, what would you say? I wrote, yes. You gotta move where mine would go. Ah, yeah, this is tricky. You got it wrong?

And you're moving to Tehran, baby. Yeah. No, it wouldn't. It would be the 14th Amendment. The 14th Amendment, which is it'll get me in trouble because that's like equal protection and all this stuff. They're going to call me racist also because of the whole rest of our show. They'll kill you because Charlie Kirk said some of the civil rights and nobody refused. Nobody ever listens to the second sentence of his argument.

Yeah, that was all going around. They called him a racist for completely innocuous. It's just so insane. But no, the 14th Amendment's really bad because it basically just blows up the whole Constitution. and it actually changes the structure of the Constitution, and then it lets these libs do whatever they want. So we're like, we're gonna redefine marriage, and we're gonna, you know, execute the president

because of the penumbras and the shadows of the 14th Amendment, equal protection, substantive process. Well, let's talk about the 19th. Yeah, that would be the second one we repeal. But the first one would be the 14th, yeah. Maybe it's 17. The first one, did it say first?

Yeah, is that if there were one, wow, that's crazy. So the final score, because of that, like, We're tied until the last month. Because of that, the final score is zero, me, to negative four. Negative four. Yeah, that? I would say it'd probably just be zero, zero. Isn't that how scores work?

Yeah, you would think, so you, all I'm saying is when you move to Iran, I'm going to teach you one little phrase that you're going to have to use around the, I assume you don't speak Farsi. No. Write this one down. Okay. No tiki, no washing. Yeah, there it is. Be sure to check out Jeff's new podcast.

Die Hard with Jeff Die. Available now on YouTube, also from dating disasters to brutally on his takes on modern life. You do not want to miss Jeff Die's tour happening right now. Fast, fearless, just a little bit inappropriate. You are going to want to see this live. Get your tickets now. I already said it. Did you buy them already?

Get them now. While they last, jeffdi.com. We don't have a teaser from his current tour. It's too fresh. It's too real. But here is a clip from The Last Cowboy in L.A. to give you a taste of what you will miss if you don't grab your tickets right now.

I hit Rock Bottom in Hollywood, California. That is a bad place for Rock Bottom because everyone is mean to you there. In Hollywood, everyone, my entire career, everybody in Hollywood's been like, you're not even famous. I've never heard of you. You're not famous.

You're not famous. You're not famous. You're not famous. You're not even famous. And then I have one bad day, and it's like, famous comedian, crash his car, fights God. I'm like, God, damn. A lot for smooth.

Yes, yes. Also, I, if I'm honest, I actually like trans women better than I like regular women. I do. Have you ever talked to a trans woman? They're great. They're like dudes. I'm just a raw dog in life, you know? Like, gougo, you don't like gogo? You don't like gogo? Googoo dogs. Gooo, gooo, go go go do. This is brave. What I'm doing right now. Hit them with the poetry. Like, no, nothing.

I like her, she likes naughty words, you know? Probably not a smart subject to be on my first special, but, you know, I like to start it cancer. I like to start it, thank you. Alright. I will say, first of all, Jeff, thanks for coming. Thank you, man. You're the best. This was excellent.

Absolutely. I'll see you on the next episode of Yes or No.