The Michael Knowles Show - WORST to BEST Dads: Michael Knowles Top T0 RANKING

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Starting point is 00:00:56 Father's Day is upon us, and so the producers have asked me to provide the definitive ranking of 10 random fathers. I wanted more for you, but there was no, there was no time. I'm not even convinced it was rape. I mean, he kills a bunch of people. You know, he's always posting those like anime girls. He does chop his kid's arm off, right? So what if it's like, I leave number one open and then you put Hitler or something?

Starting point is 00:01:22 This is very important. Make sure you're taking notes of the... comprehensive, consequential list of random dads. Take it away. Call me daddy. Homer. Yeah. Homer Simpson.

Starting point is 00:01:38 Homer actually is a good father. Don't forget the first episode of The Simpsons ever made. The first full-length episode is Santa's a little helper, where he like just does whatever he can to try to provide Christmas presents to his family. Homer's a very good father, actually. All right, Dad. He's like, you know, a little dumb, but he shows up to it. He does his job.

Starting point is 00:01:56 job. He dies faithful. I'm going to put him at number three. Hold on. Next one. Donvito Corleone. Well, you know, in some ways a good father. Remember when his son, Sunny, was sleeping with a bridesmaid at a wedding that his wife was present at? And I said, a man who never spends any time with his family with no man at all. But, you know, one of the marks against him as a good father is he runs a crime family and ends up getting his son killed. Spoiler alert, by the way. Vito, you know, he tried his best, but I'm going to put him kind of lower on the list. He has family values, but there's some problems, so I'm going to put him here. Am I just going to draw them all? Next one. And I'll finish with a quote from my late father.

Starting point is 00:03:06 Andrew Tate. Is he a father? I guess he is a father. I think, yeah. You don't see much of his children, which I guess is a good thing. But yeah, I think he's got a lot of children. by a lot of different women, right? Did they all have different baby mothers? I mean, not all different, but there's been a few ovens to bake the bread. And it's not just, people have kids by different women, but you say, I was a mistake, wish I didn't get divorced, I wish I should have married this, whatever, you know.

Starting point is 00:03:27 I think he actually extols the virtue of having lots of kids with different women. I have many concurrent serious relationships as we speak. Are you Polly? No, because that means they can talk to other dudes. That's f*** haram. That's atrocious. That's disgusting. So I'm going to put that a little lower.

Starting point is 00:03:42 He goes lower than Vito. I think. I think he provides for them materially, I think, but, and he's not a lib. So that's, but he always like a lib, he's like a kind of a lib routine. Anyway, I'll put him right below, uh, Vito Corleone. Is that, is that kind of like an Andrew? I sometimes see pictures of Andrew take. Okay. If you're enjoying this, do not let it end with this conversation. Tune in to the Michael Null's show every weekday, Monday through Friday. Stay informed daily on the most pressing political and cultural stories. Listen on Apple Podcasts, watch on YouTube,

Starting point is 00:04:19 or get the best of both worlds on Spotify, where you can watch, listen, even jump into the comments. I will see you there. Now, let's get back to Ranking Dads. I am your father. Darth Vader. Well, all's well that ends well, I guess. He does chop his kid's arm off, right?

Starting point is 00:04:36 That's not a nice. You know, that's worse than a spanking. But he does save him by throwing the emperor down into that electrical pit. it. He's redeemed in the end is the thing. In a way that Corleone, you know, he's like, I wanted more for him, but there was no, there was no time. And he kind of advises Michael on how to take over the family. So I'm going to put Vader actually above Corleone and Andrew Tate. Mufasa, he's the lion king. That's not the brother. The brother's scar. Yeah, Mufasa's good.

Starting point is 00:05:11 He's a good father. Is he better than Homer Simpson? I mean, he's a lion. And so, you know, like a human father, should he be the lion? You'll ask you a lion. Why don't fuck you lying? I guess Mufas is good. I guess I put him above Homer. Is that a good, that's not a great lion. It looks almost like Darth Vader.

Starting point is 00:05:28 Next one. Abraham. Yeah, Abraham's, see, now it's like I'm getting to the top. He does almost murder his son, but only because God tells himself, so it's not even really murder. Abraham is like, you know,

Starting point is 00:05:40 the father of faith. What if, are you going to end up putting God the father there? I have to, Dwight needs to leave a spot open for God the father. Whatever. I'm putting Abraham is ahead of, Because I can't say Abraham's lower than Mufasa or Homer Simpson.

Starting point is 00:05:53 Okay, whatever. Bill Cosby. Look, I'm not saying he was a good boyfriend or husband. But as a father? He was always given, you know, his son all that good advice. Now that everybody has told you about the dangers of doing drugs, I'd like to tell you about some of the benefits. I guess he's kind of low because of the...

Starting point is 00:06:14 I'm not even convinced it was rape in the sense that, like, he kept dating these women and he clearly had it. But it was, like, definitely on the... border of that. Okay, he'll go below Andrew Tate. Is he the worst ad ever, though? I'll put him at nine. Oh, I got to draw it, right. I'm going to draw like a kooji sweater, but now it actually looks like Andrew Tate is wearing a kuzzi sweater, but it's, anyway, that's Bill Kopp. That stands for Bill Cosby. I'll do a jello pudding cup just to make sure it looks. The jello pudding cup there, too. Okay, next one.

Starting point is 00:06:47 Ganksh Khan, yeah, no, he was good at becoming a father. That's for sure. He was pretty good because we're all descended from him. Not literally all of us. Like, I don't think that many white people are descended from Genghis Khan, but a lot of people are. I would say he's definitely above, I mean, he was a pretty brutal guy. He's definitely above Darth Vader, though. It's like almost all lines strong. Okay. Walter White. Okay. He's not the worst dad. Well, he squanders all the money. He's trying to provide for his family. But then he says in the end, he's like, I just did it for me. But I don't know if he did. I think it started a little bit providing for his family. So the question is like who's the last one?

Starting point is 00:07:27 Really, what we're, is it for? Is this number 10? I would say Walter White, is Walter White really worse? I mean, he kills a bunch of people. He might, and he's a drug dealer. Okay, he might be the worst. Let's see. Walter White.

Starting point is 00:07:41 Also kind of looks like John Blushy and the Blues Brothers. Okay, last one. You're Elon Musk. I am. Elon. There we go. See, I could have, I would have put Elon. This is actually not bad.

Starting point is 00:07:52 Okay, hold on. I can't do a good Elon picture. Oh, you know what I should have done? Okay, whatever, that's my Elon. I should have done him in like anime. You know, he's always posting those like anime girls. Anyway, okay, all right, that's not bad. So it's Abraham, man, I'm so, all right.

Starting point is 00:08:06 Now, Abraham's number one, great. This is a great. I did great. I did a great job. Where would I rank on this list, given what I'm a father, and I was very good at this? Abraham, Mufasa, Homer, Elon, Genghis Khan, Darth Vader, Don Quarleone, Andrew Tate, Bill Cosby. Walter White. I totally stand by that. Whenever we've done this kind of game, I always am like,

Starting point is 00:08:29 oh, no, I ended up putting the good guys last or whatever. I stand by this list. That's a good list. Can I change? Like, I'm going to write out, I can't change. So once they're there, I can't. So what if it's like, I leave number one open and then you put Hitler or something? It wasn't a dad. He was a dog dad. He would have been such a perfect millennial, wouldn't he have? He's a dog daddy. Okay.

The Michael Knowles Show - WORST to BEST Dads: Michael Knowles Top T0 RANKING

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