The Mind Over Finger Podcast - 083 Jenny Clift: Emotional Freedom Technique

Starting point is 00:00:00 You're listening to the Mind Over Finger Podcast, episode number 83. Welcome to the Mind Over Finger Podcast, discussions on mindful music making, efficient practice and building a purposeful career. And now your host, violinist, teacher and high performance coach, Dr. Renée Paul Gaultier. hi everyone i hope this episode finds you doing really well today i'm really excited to bring my brilliant friend eft tapping coach jenny cliff to the show to talk to us about the ways eft or emotional freedom technique can help us thrive in our musical journey jenny is a classically trained violinist and, as I said, an EFT tapping coach based in Madrid, Spain. She's passionate

Starting point is 00:00:55 about working with musicians, stage artists, and coaches from all over the world to help them achieve success, wealth, joy, and inner peace. As you'll hear in our conversation, EFT can help us deal with experiences with unsympathetic teachers, traumatic past lessons, auditions, or competitions, frustration over technical limitations and difficulties, struggles with confidence, self-doubt, and lack of belief, and the general blocks and anxiety around auditions, competition, job scarcity, money woes, performance stress, etc. In this episode, Jenny talks to us about what brought her to this modality, the workings of EFT, and how it can help musicians with their practice, performance, and their life in general. And she takes us through a couple rounds of

Starting point is 00:01:46 tapping to give us a little taste of what it's like. I hope you enjoy this conversation with Jenny Clift. Let's go to the show. Jenny Clift, I'm so excited to have you on the show today. thanks renee it's really a pleasure to be here yeah jenny you're an emotional freedom technique coach or eft for short and i'm particularly happy that we have this chance to chat today because i find that in this time of stress and in a profession where so much of who we are impacts the work that we do directly and therefore our traumas our frustrations all of the things that we're dealing with at a personal level they have a direct effect on our results I feel like tapping is a modality that can be so helpful to all of us to all musicians I'm so happy that we have this

Starting point is 00:02:53 opportunity to unpack tapping talk about it and maybe introduce it to the people who've never heard about it and show them how it can be so helpful for them and before we jump into this topic I'd love to hear about you about your journey how it unfolded and how you got to where you are today yeah I'm well I'm two things right now I am a violinist I'm a I studied I'm a classically trained violinist I studied back in in London at Trinity College of Music a long time ago now and trained and my goal my dream was to become a performer and that all got kind of derailed I had a me and my violin teacher didn't get on very well he was Hungarian very strict very old school and it just we just were not a good match for each other and after three and a half

Starting point is 00:03:51 years and I did get my diploma but after that I in fact I dropped out of college and I left and I just had had enough of the violin and I just thought I'm not good enough I'm not going to ever be a professional performer and so I then there was the moment of what do I do with myself and I came to Spain where I now live and I was teaching English in fact for about 10 years I didn't go near the violin for eight of those years and and it was actually a blessed relief I completely convinced myself that it wasn't for me and everything but anyway long story short eventually I did come back to the violin I moved to Madrid I've been in other places and started working with a teacher and he was great and quite quickly he said oh you should

Starting point is 00:04:42 come and play my orchestra do a gig with us and I did and then that kind of led into freelance work then I kind of moved into teaching because one of the problems I was having with the freelancing was making a regular wage making a salary and so I was then in teaching and then that about then this was around about 2010 2011 I really wanted to move back into performing and but had a lot of lot of beliefs that wasn't good enough that there weren't enough jobs that it was going to be too hard all these kind of things and I discovered that's when I discovered EFT tapping and I discovered it online on YouTube and started working with a coach and I it there's several things I'll explain in a second what happens with it but several I think one of the things I most

Starting point is 00:05:38 liked about it was with with this with this modality you talk about what's upsetting you it's not you know I've been doing a lot of kind of positive thinking and you know I can do this and you're you know you're you know all these kind of affirmations and I it just wasn't doing it for me I was stuck where I was and and so I discovered this technique where you're actually allowed to say out loud um you know I'm not happy I'm not or I don't feel good enough or whatever it is and I work with this coach he's a really great EFT coach and I worked with him online for about five years um and I absolutely loved it so then I decided I wrote a book in fact about my experiences um called the music inside and um and then I decided to become trained to to help other people

Starting point is 00:06:34 with tapping and for several years I have to say I kind of avoided musicians and I avoided um it was that idea I think the fear well there's several things going on but I think one of the fears was the whole I can't tell musicians because all the time in conjunction with this I'm I'm performing I was doing a lot of um work freelancing but then working actually in musicals and things But I didn't start talking about it until really last year to other musicians and expecting them to sort of go, what's this? You know, and then lots of people very interested. And the actors in the musical, they were all I was helping them and everything. So this year, I've really got into working with musicians, with instrumentalists and singers. And of course, it's perfect because I understand so many of the issues going on.

Starting point is 00:07:28 and the other exciting thing because this is as you'll see well you know but I'll you know I'll explain today it's this is a mind body emotional spiritual technique and so musicians they're perfect they are in touch with their bodies they're in touch with their emotions and it's so you know it's very it's great fun and it's exciting to work with people who are very in touch with with what's going on inside and so um yeah so I've been working with a lot of singers and instrumentalists and um yeah and this this year and yeah that's where I've got to and I've always worked online so in fact COVID has not hit me as hard as um um professionally as as it has other people you know so yeah so that's what I'm up to at the moment. I'm so happy you started

Starting point is 00:08:21 talking to musicians Jenny because this is to our benefit and I think so many people can relate to your experience with your teacher I think that this is something that you know this trauma that we experience at times with mentors teachers who are supposed to guide us and in many ways often can hurt us without meaning to you know but so many people that I've spoken to have experienced similar circumstances and what do you do to heal from this it's not always clear and you know what you talked about maybe having these beliefs that you're not good enough feeling less than I think we can identify with that so much and it's so wonderful to have an outlet like EFT where we can talk about and acknowledge what's going on and validate our feelings instead of

Starting point is 00:09:18 just covering it up exactly as you said you know and um so tell us what is EFT tapping talk to us about it yeah yeah um yeah no just to speak to you know that you what you're saying about mentals and guys you know I think about this nowadays that I'm and I'm coaching and when I I'm going to work with someone we spend quite a long time or you know a couple at least a couple of talks or a talk deciding are we a good fit for each other you know is is this going to work working together and I often think you know back in the day and probably still now it just doesn't happen with our music teachers and and we just go to someone because they're being they're renowned or they're you know someone else says oh you must work with so and so or you know for some reason

Starting point is 00:10:09 it seems to be a good idea and but the idea of of not being a good fit and not you know it just it doesn't come into the equation and I I just sort of feel with my teacher if we'd had an hour beforehand actually honestly saying you know is this going to work we would probably it would have been so different you know we probably just said uh no and I'd have found someone else you know I mean he wasn't the only teacher on the planet and and vice versa he wouldn't have had to put up with me for three and a half years you know and not not practicing the way he wanted me to practice and things like this so um yeah so there's i've learned a lot from now you know being a coach and that kind of thing so yeah on to eft so it stands for emotional freedom techniques as

Starting point is 00:10:53 you said and it's a modality which is um based on the same system that's used in chinese medicine um a system of meridians or energy channels and just right from there it starts to sound a bit woo woo and people start to go oh my god what's going on but it's the same system which is now which is used in acupuncture um so using the same points the acupressure points but instead of using needles we tap on the points and basically what that does is it brings down cortisol levels brings down stress levels and they've done a lot of scientific studies um and and as well as the whole i just wanted to say as well as the whole mental thing uh the kind of beliefs that we have obviously it's called emotional freedom technique and and so we do deal in emotions a lot um and

Starting point is 00:11:50 feelings and the reason i specify that is that we i we talk a lot about both emotions and how they physically affect us our body so if you're nervous and we all know this you know nervous before a concert or before an audition or something like that probably an audition the worst kind of nerves i think um you don't just feel nervous you feel you know you have your legs are trembling your stomach feels like you're going to throw up you you uh your break your heart rate is pounding you know and and so often i remember so many times asking teachers what do i do about this i used suffered from really bad nerves and that you know the main advice i used to get was breathe you know deep breathing which is you know of course a very good idea but it didn't kind of do the trick as

Starting point is 00:12:46 as much as i wanted uh one teacher said to me think like a semi-brief you know a whole note and i was like uh how how do i do that sort of thing and so to have a tool that not only talks about the emotions not only even talks about the release but also addresses basically what is happening and you know this is not news to anyone I know but before for example before a big performance or an audition or something your body is going into fight or flight and so and you know we've got our amygdala which is the kind of little part at the back of our brain the oldest part of our brain which is basic for dealing with situations where you need to be alert where you need to be aware of danger the problem is it gets switched on it's very hard to switch off

Starting point is 00:13:38 and it really messes us up i mean you know we're both violinists we know so much how nerves affect our play you know your bow is all over the shop your fingers won't move or and so there needs to be some way of bringing down that fight or flight response and that's what EFT directly talks to and as well as that you know I mean I've worked with people on so many different issues and you'll see how that works now because we as well as doing the tapping on these specific points we're also talking so we talk about whatever's going on so let me just tell you a little bit about the points that we're going to be using um that we use yeah when we're doing EFT we start um we start with what is called the setup phrase and we're using a point on the side of the hand so if you for

Starting point is 00:14:35 example I'm right-handed so I usually tap with a few fingers with my right hand against the side of my left hand so between the base of the little finger and the and the um bottom of the hand and we're just tapping there and I sort of say to people you know don't tap too hard but you're stimulating the acupressure points that are there and as we do so we're speaking so beforehand we've decided okay imagine it's yeah we're going to an audition and we're feeling really nervous and and I would ask someone what's your on a scale of one to ten how nervous are you feeling and mostly you know people can think in and say well right now I'm at a an eight for example or you know and and we talk about the symptoms or the physical things so we would start tapping there

Starting point is 00:15:29 and we start with what we call the setup phrase which is even though and then our problem in inverted commas even though I'm so nervous about this audition I love and accept myself completely now that second half of the phrase and it can be tweaked you know I mean when people use EFT with veterans for example to say I love and accept myself completely is a little bit a bit of a stretch so you can say something like I'm safe right now or I accept myself the way I am and definitely that gets tweaked depending on who you're talking to but for me it's actually a very very important part of EFT this and for musicians for stage performers I think it's vital to have some way of learning how to love and accept ourselves despite everything you know because

Starting point is 00:16:20 we're under so much stress I'm so I have so many challenges that you know this and people say to you oh you know you've got to be you know show yourself self-love that's the way to go that's you know you hear about and you sort of think how do i do that and this is certainly one tool for for addressing that so we start there even though i'm so nervous about this audition i love and accept myself completely all the while we're tapping and one other thing is that you know this is so this so so fabulous this tool because yes you can do it with a coach and of course i work with people all the time and when we do it I say a sentence you say it back but the words I'm using will be the words that you've given me in advance because we talk in advance so you know

Starting point is 00:17:10 and when I work with people from other countries I do not it depends on the language I can speak Spanish but I can't speak for example German and I'm sort of I'm sorry I can't speak German but sometimes and very often we you know we're talking about something in the past maybe when they were little or I encourage people to use their own language because that's where you have the emotions really you know they're triggering for you the kind of words so it's flexible in that way so we would say that and we in fact say that three times then then we start off around the around the points and so we're basically tapping the points and we use what we call a reminder phrase so the first point that we're going to use is the inside of the eyebrow so it's not the third

Starting point is 00:17:54 eye but it's kind of yeah on each eyebrow and again you can use one hand so tapping the inside of the right eyebrow or the other hand or both even and we're tapping there and we will repeat the what we call the reminder phrase so we'd say I'm so nervous about this audition and then we go to the next point which is the side of the eye um yeah and do ask me if I'm not making things clear any because I'm aware that this will be audio not video so yeah so chime in and you've provided us with some really great graphics that I'm gonna make sure I have easily accessible with links in the show notes as well as on all the social media Facebook Instagram I'll have all of those there for the listeners thank you that's brilliant that that'll be helpful so I

Starting point is 00:18:43 will yeah so then so we're inside the eye so kind of the temples and again tapping there the next one is under the eye um and that's just on the bone right below the pupil and we can tap there and i like to tell people this point connects up to the stomach meridian in chinese medicine and so this is a great one for if you're feeling a bit nauseous or feeling a bit light-headed before going on stage and if you tap there and just maybe tap and breathe or tap and say I'm so nervous I'm so nervous that's a great one for bringing down those kind of collywobbles before you go on before you go on stage and the next one and this is there about nine points just so you know we're not going

Starting point is 00:19:28 to go all over the whole body the next one is under the nose tapping there and and then under the mouth so that's kind of in the cleft of the chin and then the next one is the collarbone this one's a little bit more tricky to describe if you go to the end of each collarbone and right underneath the end there's like a little dent so yeah you've come out from the center and down and you're tapping there right does that make it make it clear I think yes all right and we're tapping there on the if you're having any doubts so you can use your whole fist kind of thing right and then under the arm so this is the one where it starts to look a bit strange so you can be kind of um well i say starts to maybe it looks strange from the beginning i'm so used to doing it

Starting point is 00:20:19 as a another you know another day but um yeah okay i have to say just as an aside renee i was tapping for five years without telling anyone that was tapping even my husband he knew i was kind of talking to a coach and everything but i didn't tell him at all so if anyone's and i can also show you some tapping points on the fingers as well which if you need to be tapping discreetly so this one's under the under the arm so a little bit down below the armpit and if you tap with your other hand under the armpit you can feel maybe a little sensitive spot there and you tap there and then the final point we use is right in the middle of the top of the head and we're tapping up there yeah in the top of the head again there might be a slightly sensitive

Starting point is 00:21:09 spot so tap right on there and then we carry on same points going round and round okay and we're using the setup the the reminder phrase now when in clinical what they call clinical eft that you literally you just say i'm so nervous i'm so nervous these this anxiety or these nerves this nervous feeling in my stomach so very staying very close to um the same phrase and that's really useful when you use EFT on your own. You can just do that. You don't have to have a degree in clever EFT phrases. Okay. So, and, and so, you know, I say to my clients and people I tell about tapping, just maybe, you know, before going on stage, just pop in the bathroom or something, and just, just do a couple of rounds, just to be honest, even if you're just thinking it,

Starting point is 00:22:07 you can you your brain is making all the connections and definitely you know sort of you can then add a little bit more positive saying i choose to relax or i'm now allowing myself to relax something like that so you can bring down those nerves um and maybe a couple of rounds stop check in again okay i was at an eight right okay just saying it out loud doing the tapping at the same time okay it's come down to a six have another shot at it or is there something specific you know I know that professor so-and-so's in the in the jury or something like that and oh what's he gonna think what's he gonna think so you know you can be so specific and you know I find myself tapping on absolutely amazing things I'm sometimes saying oh god I never thought I

Starting point is 00:22:54 would say that in my life you know and so um but it can be very specific and then yeah at the end you check in we I've used just to tell you a few of the things that I've used it for myself and with clients you know the um as I say you know preparing for performances the stage fright um I've used it yeah for practicing so it could be something like that even though I really don't feel like practicing today you know I've been so unmotivated I love and accept myself completely and you go around the points you know oh my god I just don't feel like practicing oh I can't be bothered to practice I really don't want to I've got to do something oh it's such a pain you know and then you carry on and and see how you get to and see what and see what happens um yeah all

Starting point is 00:23:49 those limiting beliefs you know I'm not good enough um everyone's better than me you know I'll never be good enough there aren't enough jobs all these kind of things which are really just beliefs and yeah I know we everyone's in a different place and I certainly uh you know you can compare yourself till you're blue in the face with other people and and know you know I will never be as good as so and so but i truly believe that we're always actually better than we say to ourselves we are you know there's always room for um letting ourselves be better um and i think everyone you of course and everyone knows we can talk ourselves out of even playing up to what we know we can play to absolutely you know there's so many things i love in what you said because

Starting point is 00:24:43 you talked about the importance of respecting our needs and that is so true both in finding a teacher finding a coach or anything else that's related to acknowledging stress and when you know what there's so much stress but when we talk about it to people they will jump at us with solutions and tips and remedies but rarely do they hold the space for us to acknowledge and understand our feelings and I love when you said I choose to relax as opposed to going with a positive affirmation that does not resonate genuinely with us so it's that difference between wishful thinking almost because at times you know positive affirmations if they don't resonate if they don't feel true they're not helpful because as we say them there's

Starting point is 00:25:47 going to be an internal resistance but at all time we can choose to relax yeah and and i really love this distinction uh so much what are some of the results that you've seen maybe in yourself or or your clients from using EFT? Yeah I mean so many different varied for example I had a client just at the beginning of summer we were working together and she had several auditions coming up for to get into programs she was kind of going into a master's level programs and so and she was very nervous about them and things like you know coming up for her like I'm not sure if she's a singer and she had to choose a program to present and I don't know if I've chosen the right arias you know I'm not sure if if maybe they're too difficult whatever and so we tapped on all her

Starting point is 00:26:48 kind of concerns and worries and everything and you know each time she was going to an audition and she was great you know because she would tap in between as well you don't have to have me there that's a great thing you know or a practitioner there you you or you have you can do it on your own and she would and she she would come back and you know even if it maybe the result wasn't the same it wasn't exactly what she wanted or maybe it was you know but but she said I felt so much better I was calmer before I was um singing and so felt so much that she was singing so much more at her level and not letting letting herself down you know that feeling that you've prepared so much and then you're on it didn't do as well as I wanted so that was definitely you

Starting point is 00:27:37 know that kind of thing happens a lot um I with myself for example I've used and with other people I've used it on technique the other day I was tapping with a group of singers on whistle voice technique and I was going you know so even though whistle voice technique is so hard and I was thinking I didn't ever think I'd tap on this one and you know and and and we do you know kind of experiments I I tap with someone who was going to do a recording and uh and get them to actually play for me and and okay how are you feeling stop how are you feeling and they've got oh my god I feel just horrible right now you know as we all know recording and playing to someone who's evaluating us is scary stuff and then tapping and then being able to play and you know

Starting point is 00:28:26 and being able to get much more in yeah expressive learning and so these kind of things I've used it for example with my bow arm I had a teacher when I was oh yeah I mean it was after I'd restarted with the violin and I played with this I learned with this guy for a couple of years really great teacher i really enjoyed my classes and he said apparently every lesson would say your bow arm's too low your bow arm's too low and i would hike it up you know and then it would next time and i just didn't know how to do deal with this because it wasn't me being willfully you know uncooperative i just wasn't happening and i went i remember going to my eft coach and saying i've got this issue you know we tapped on it and we tapped on even though my bow

Starting point is 00:29:16 arm is too low and and then it gets into you know okay so how does that feel when your arm is up there and there was this feeling you know I feel really vulnerable it feels like someone could almost you know get me in the side sort of stab me even you know and one can get very dramatic and that's allowed that's all part of the fun so um you know and so we tapped on that you know I feel like I can be shot you know and things like that and then I went back to the next lesson and my teacher said your bow arm's a bit too high now so but that was all right then we you know and and never it was never again an issue you know so tapping on that kind of thing um oh and the other thing that I tap on a lot with um musicians artists stage performers all of us is money issues

Starting point is 00:30:05 yes the starving artist syndrome the I'm doing what I love I can't possibly ask for any money for it um the who am I to I'm already you know so grateful to be doing what I do but you know I've I've thought about this so long and hard that you know I've been myself played in concerts where the people putting out the chairs are earning more than me on stage and it's just horrendous and it's just an accepted social concept that we seem to have and it doesn't make sense you know it's and so to tap on it's you know worthiness on my identity on different things like this and around money is huge as well you know so that I definitely we and visibility you know these are kind of areas where you know the amount of musicians I've worked with who don't have a

Starting point is 00:31:02 YouTube channel for example and I'm sort of going oh my god how are people going to hear you you know and and it's you know obviously back in the day it didn't happen it didn't exist but now it really is there but and people say oh yeah no I mean I'm meaning to get around to that and it's always something going on underneath you know and this this is something I love about EFT as well there's the acknowledgement that it's very easy to be non-judgmental because there's always that feeling what's going on underneath you know why are you doing this or why are you not doing this it's not because you're being willful or obstinate or or stupid or bad or anything like that no there is something in your programming basically that is not allowing you to go there it's as very often

Starting point is 00:31:49 as nearly always a safety issue and it doesn't feel at some level it doesn't feel safe so anyway as you can see I could talk about this I love that you know and you just got me thinking of something that i've been talking about with the participants of the music master experience my group coaching program that you've been so kind to to come and join us and and talk to us about tapping and it's been so helpful to all of the participants but we talked about this concept of acceptance does not mean resignation yeah and at times i think of course i can't i can't say that everyone feels the same way but I feel like we are reluctant to accept something because we feel that if we accept it it means that we resign ourselves to it when to the contrary I feel that

Starting point is 00:32:42 if we accept it then we can face it tackle it change things and have a transformation so I'm so happy that you brought this up totally totally and you know for me for me the setup phrase which is at the beginning this you know even though I love and accept myself for me it's kind of a direct line to self-acceptance because it because it really right there in that sentence you know you acknowledge yeah you know what I'm not perfect you know I and and you can tap on something like even though I didn't hit that high note I love and accept myself completely and we have and I love the saying or expression what you resist persists and for me you know this this insistence on as you say you know acceptance does not mean resignation so you look at something and you look at it

Starting point is 00:33:36 squarely it's a little bit you know your kitchen's a horrible mess you had a party the night before you go into your kitchen you go oh my god close you cover your eyes i'm not looking at that and you kind of get a cloth and turn away and say oh okay i'll try and clean it up no you've got to look at it you've got it but it's not to wallow in it you know this is i i hate ranting i'm i have a real horror of ranting but for some reason ranting while you're tapping it gives you a feeling of you know i'm doing something about it it does you don't get in the same because you're sending these messages always to the brain it's okay we're safe you're calm you're okay you're not perfect but you're okay you know because it's let's face it we're all human we all have a lot

Starting point is 00:34:19 going on and so yeah and and it is amazing how being able to say and so many times my clients say to me I've never said that out loud so if you say you know I oh I'm so ashamed in that audition that I did and and they stopped me after 30 seconds and I just had to go and I was so ashamed of how I played and everything and and it's horrible I mean you're just sort of but you're tapping at the same time and then you can get through to very often people say to me at the end you know yeah it feels more distant or it feels like you know i had i've done what i could and that's okay it doesn't mean i can't do it again and you know yeah it's as you say it's i talk a lot about processing so it's it's processing the emotions it's not

Starting point is 00:35:13 just denying them it's not wallowing in them it's it's we look at them clearly in order to process them clear them move through them and then we can go on to greater things and feel much better about it so yes and then we have emotional freedom that's the idea yeah exactly it doesn't mean we're free from emotion sometimes that might be nice but speaking of that would it be possible for us to do some tapping right now i'd love to yes that'd be great yeah first question would you be willing to be my echo voice for any absolutely yes fabulous and i should warn the listeners you're going to be hearing the tapping because we are going to tap so yes we'll be thumping on our on Marchess Tarzan typing um yeah and I was thinking about this before and just thinking you know the

Starting point is 00:36:08 quickest way to demonstrate this I think is I yeah let's just take a moment this will be probably I was thinking about how long this will take five minutes maybe a little bit more we'll see but um just if you can just take a moment then Renee and and if everyone listening tried in to because the tapping it really is about trying it out for yourself if you need to be somewhere on your own that's great but and if you're just listening to it you won't get the full effect all right and so yeah he's just let's just take a moment then and even if you if it feels okay when you're somewhere not driving and you're just somewhere safe and on your own just take a moment to

Starting point is 00:36:54 just close your eyes. And just take, let's just start by taking a deep breath in and hold it and let it go. And now just breathe in comfortably. And just allow yourself to drop down into your body. We've been talking a lot. We've been talking about ideas, concepts. I want you just now to be in your body just for a few seconds. And I want you to think about something in the last couple of days, or maybe it's even the days to come, something which is causing you maybe anxiety, maybe anger, some kind of uncomfortable emotion that's coming up. And I want you just to think about maybe there was, maybe it was this morning, maybe you were stressed out or something, or just think about in the last few days and allow yourself to be there and

Starting point is 00:38:05 allow yourself to feel that emotion. And once again, remember, we're safe right now. And always like to say to people you know just be aware as well you take full responsibility you know there's really toxic stuff you're sitting on and i know you know plenty of people we do have stuff then maybe now's not the time to be doing this maybe you should just take a maybe make sure you have someone who's there with you but in general when we do the tapping you'll find you're feeling better so just feeling into the emotion and where do you feel that and allow yourself to aware of on a scale of one to ten just how strongly you can feel into that emotion and now there are any thoughts that come up as you do it

Starting point is 00:39:09 any thoughts, any beliefs. So once again, becoming aware of what's there. When you're ready, just take another deep breath in and let it go. And you can open your eyes now. And Renée, do you mind, can I ask you, did anything come up for you? and then we can kind of use your words and stuff you don't have to be too specific you know this

Starting point is 00:39:46 is another thing about EFT if there are things that you don't want to say out loud you don't have to because it's all going on in your own head okay so you don't have to fess up if there's anything yeah um hold on let me think here for a second sorry I put you on the spot a bit it's okay i can edit anything i want i do not have emotions um i'm just having a hard time finding the words for it i think it was kind of a more of a a thought you know okay tell me the thought and then i can i can ask you emotions i'm good at that yes so when you were asking those things what was coming up for me is that there are some goals that I have in the coming weeks

Starting point is 00:40:38 that really stretch me out of my comfort zone. Ah, ah, yeah. And it was the, I hope this makes sense, the fear that I'm going to have the insight to see it through, the insight and the courage to see it through. Or the fear that you're not going to have it. Oh, yes. Does that make sense?

Starting point is 00:41:01 Yes, yes. Okay, yes, okay, yeah. Okay. All right. And I'm just scribbling here because then I, yeah. Okay, good. So you've said the emotion is fear. All right. And that's fine. Okay. Is that fear? Obviously there's different degrees of fear. Okay. Scale of one to 10, how strong does that, yeah. Concern, maybe fear, anxiety how does how does it feel and it doesn't have to be a 10 it can be a you know five or six or whatever i think about an eight okay good good enough all right and well and we all say we're tapping you know sort of if it's a tool below don't worry about it but if it's anything

Starting point is 00:41:49 more than that you know there's things that we can bring down that we can we can tap on okay all right so let's do a bit of tapping on this and so for the people who are listening have a think to yourself okay because this is the great thing about this kind of thing we can just make it about ourselves all the time which is what we tend to do as humans so we you know is there anything that you've been saying you know i want to do this this is my goal and yeah it's a stretch and it's not being so comfortable when i'd be as you say have the insight have the courage to to deal with it so just think about anything for yourself and I always say to people if the words that I say are not spot on it doesn't matter you're not gonna if I say I'm terrified

Starting point is 00:42:38 and you're thinking now I'm mildly nervous you won't take on anything that is not yours okay as we're tapping so just tap along with us if possible say things out loud um I'll try and remember to say the tapping points as i go but um if i suddenly say you know under the mouth and you're on the collarbone it really doesn't matter okay it won't be there is no healing for you no no no it's fine all right so here we go so side of the hand to start all right okay even though these goals are stretching me out of my comfort zone even though these goals are stretching me out of my comfort zone i love and accept myself completely I love and accept myself completely.

Starting point is 00:43:22 Even though I'm feeling really stretched right now. I love and honor myself completely. Even though I have these goals. And a part of me is excited about them. And a part of me is really afraid. and feels way out of my comfort zone and feels way out of my comfort zone and even though I'm feeling stretched here and even though I'm feeling stretched here I deeply and completely I deeply and completely love honor and accept myself love honor and

Starting point is 00:44:10 accept myself okay now we're going to run the points so first the eyebrow point these goals are really stretching me. These goals are really stretching me. Side of the eye. I'm out of my comfort zone here. I'm out of my comfort zone here. Under the eye. And I'm feeling this fear. And I'm feeling this fear. Under the nose. This fear. This fear. That I won't have the insight and courage. That I won't have the insight and courage. Under the mouth. To see them through. to see them through the collarbone all this fear all this fear under the arm in my body in my body top of the head in my nervous system in my nervous system so uh the eyebrow okay all this fear i'm feeling all this fear i'm feeling

Starting point is 00:45:05 side of the eye i'm feeling so stretched right now i'm feeling so stretched right now under the eye because I say I want these goals because I say I want these goals under the nose and a part of me really does and the part of me really does under the mouth but I'm feeling so stretched but I'm feeling so stretched a part of me says a part of me says under the arm oh I don't think I can do this I don't think I can do this top of the head I don't know if I'm brave enough for this I don't know if I'm brave enough for this. Eyebrow point. I don't know if this is too much of a stretch for me. I don't know if this is too much of a stretch for me. Side of the eye. All this fear. All this fear. Under the eye. All this fear. All this fear. Under the nose. I'm really afraid of this.

Starting point is 00:46:03 I'm really afraid of this. Under the mouth. Right now the fear is bigger than the excitement. right now the fear is bigger than the excitement I'm not sure if I can do this I'm not sure if I can do this I can feel myself shrinking top of the head, all this fear all this fear and just take a breath

Starting point is 00:46:29 and let it go and just take a moment to feel in again and just let me know is anything changed renee anything shifted how are you doing you know i mean i've done this with you a couple times several times by now yeah and i think that that's something that we talked about earlier and the fact that to allow myself to say it out loud in a way I feel um makes me the observer of it and I feel more detachment from these emotion and from this fear yeah yeah yeah no that's a great great way of putting it yeah um yeah I you know I have

Starting point is 00:47:22 my feeling about this and because people do say to me you know why are we you know why do we talk about the negative stuff and everything and i truly believe that most of us maybe not maybe there's a few enlightened parents out there but most of us when we were growing up were not allowed to feel the feelings that we had um to the extent that we felt them and you know i'm a parent i have three children i totally get this parent reaction either you know your kids are yelling and screaming of course you know he sort of tried to stop them but you know when we were little he said go to your room you're not to shout like that you know sort of thing and or or even when you were sad people weigh in fast to try and cheer you up you know and it's done of course with loving

Starting point is 00:48:12 intentions but the message we get over and over again is don't feel those you know it's because whatever reason either it makes them uncomfortable or and I think that's often the way you know or it doesn't feel safe you know maybe there's that feeling maybe I'll go into it never come out of it um but you know really as you say saying it out loud it does allow you to step away from it and and realize okay you know what this is just another feeling and it's going to come and go and um the same as you know we're not we know we're not going to be happy 24 7 but we're not also not necessarily be unhappy 24 7 as well so um let's go around just one just to kind of wrap up here if that makes sense about i choose i love that idea yeah yeah because um as you said before

Starting point is 00:49:06 and i think it's so true that is less you know to say i'm brave and strong when you're not feeling brave and strong it's just you're going to have that little voice inside going no i'm not you know and it's so it just doesn't work so let's do a little round of a positive tapping round and again in in clinical eft you never go into the positive you just bring down bring down bring down and then you're you're done but with you know coaching with things it's it's a great tool to use to to get more inspired to go out feeling yes i'm i've got this sort of feeling so let me just give you a short taste of that so here we go um yeah no you tell me how would you like to feel then instead of this kind of oh i'm not gonna have the insight and the courage oh that's a great

Starting point is 00:49:58 question i love that how would i like to feel i would like to feel i think the words that come to me are are wise and empowered nice cool okay so let's do it all right let me just a second all right i choose to feel wise and empowered I choose to feel oh do you want to say that we're tapping on the side of the hand first oh yes please thank you tapping on the side of the hand

Starting point is 00:50:41 I choose to feel wise and empowered I choose to feel wise and empowered and I love and accept myself completely and I love and accept myself completely I choose to feel wise and empowered I choose to feel wise and empowered and I love and honor myself completely and I love and honor myself completely. I choose to feel wise and empowered

Starting point is 00:51:09 and to have access to my insight and my courage. And I choose to feel wise and empowered And I deeply and completely love, honor, and accept myself. Okay, so going around the points, the eyebrow point. I choose to feel wise and empowered. Side of the eye. I choose to have access to these feelings. I choose to have access to these feelings. Under the eye.

Starting point is 00:51:55 i choose to know i choose to know under the nose that when i let myself when i let myself under the mouth i can be really wise i can be really wise collarbone sometimes i don't say wise things sometimes i don't say wise things but when i'm feeling really good but when i'm feeling really good and when i allow myself when And I allow myself. I can be wise. I can be wise. I know a lot.

Starting point is 00:52:32 I know a lot. Because I've been through a lot. Because I have been through a lot. And let me just say, we are going around the points, so everyone knows. But no worries. Okay. I've had a lot of experiences. I've had a lot of experience.

Starting point is 00:52:49 I've had a lot of teachers. I've had a lot of teachers. and I've learned a lot and I choose to know that I can put my own spin on things that I have a lot to share and that makes me feel powerful in a really good way

Starting point is 00:53:19 I choose to have courage I choose to have courage The courage to do this The courage to succeed Which is sometimes more scary than failure I choose to know That so many other people Are going to benefit from this

Starting point is 00:53:51 and that feels really good and that feels really good I'm choosing to feel really good about myself I'm choosing to feel really good about myself and about these goals and about these goals in body, mind and spirit in body, mind and spirit

Starting point is 00:54:12 just take a breath okay so once again just feeling in and just let me know how that felt hmm yeah that felt great and and you know what's um what's interesting is of course you can do EFT on your own but you you might have heard me pause a couple times there because you would say something that would really resonate with me so for example when you say when i let myself and then there's there's so many other ways i mean we can see that you are so yourself so insightful and so wise because you were really choosing the words that seem to work perfectly for me but i can really see how going through this with you is is helping bring light

Starting point is 00:55:11 on so many things so i do i do feel really great but especially with this realization that it's so true if i do let myself um the insight and the courage is there for the taking yes yeah i felt great thank you so much you're very good at this oh so are you and it's great i love tapping as i say you know I love tapping with with people because yeah so many great it I remember yeah this is just a you know kind of finish when I used to tap with my EFT coach and he used to say you know it's a co-creation and I used to think oh he's just being modest you know he's just being there but oh my goodness it so is and you know as you tap it's amazing how you know there's a lot of intuition there a lot of words you know I obviously I'm a musician too been there done that

Starting point is 00:56:14 you know the amount of things people say to me oh god yes you know and understanding but you know basically us humans we are so alike we're so different and so unique each one of us just you know we came to do something here on this planet and we've and we've got it and and it's our thing but at the same time we have so much in common and so yeah and and then there are these words that you know I choose I allow I'm I let myself and if you want to say affirmations I suggest and they're kind of not landing then I suggest you use words like that first you know I I've got affirmations up there you know I am strong now I have all that I need I make space for greatness And so if you're not feeling that strong, you can say, you know, I, I'm allowing myself to feel strong, or I choose to feel strong now. And it just softens it a little bit and gives it more of a, okay, that I can believe or I'm in the process of, you know, I'm in the process of becoming great. And the, you know, I can't argue with that, you know, I'm working a bit sort of thing. So, you know, all these, all these good ways of making them more digestible, I think.

Starting point is 00:57:29 oh jenny i'd love to talk about this with you all day but before i let you go i'd love to know of a piece of advice that was given to you that you'd like to pass on to the listeners you know one of the things that i learned quite early on doing eft was the idea that whatever we do there's a reason for it you know it's about this it comes from our maybe our programming I also believe you know we each of us come in with something to work on as well some people some people it's for example you know the violin and and all the kind of limiting beliefs that go around for others it might be health issues for another it might be relationships and everything and I and so it's this idea that what we what we have going on when we do things

Starting point is 00:58:22 when we don't do things we procrastinate if we do things not so well and everything there's always a reason for it so it's not a question of being really you know most of us and i think especially classically trained musicians we're really hard on ourselves and so when you find yourself you catch yourself being really hard on yourself just remember you know that that idea of this something going on underneath and it's usually a safety issue um if you're not putting yourself you don't have your youtube channel it's because somewhere maybe back in the day you were given the impression that you shouldn't show off or you shouldn't put you know be you know this whole tall poppy syndrome thing you know sort of it's just you know or you have delusions of grandeur and

Starting point is 00:59:10 all these kind of things we're told you know or who do you think you are of these kind of things and you then you shrink back you know and and depending on the kind of message you got and how they landed at that moment they can affect you many many years on you know so so that idea just knowing that okay it's not it and saying it's not my fault i was going to say doesn't mean you can't now do something about it as just as you were saying before it's not a oh poor me i'm a victim not at all you can you know accept it and then and then you know move past it so thank you for that how about a quick actionable tip that listeners can implement today in their musical lives i would say well try tapping um you know again this loving and accepting yourself

Starting point is 01:00:05 maybe try or using these words something like you know today i love using intentions and setting intentions so you know maybe say at the beginning of the day I choose today I choose to whatever it feels right to you you know today I choose to and it can be something serious it can be something like you know I choose to do the best I can in everything or be very centered and focused in everything I do or I have the intention to or it can be today I choose to find things that make me laugh so it doesn't have to be you know super serious all the time but you know set an intention at the beginning of the day it's like if you're doing or if you're doing yoga practice or something you know what's my intention right now or I I'm a great believer in setting intentions as well for

Starting point is 01:00:58 each the whole day or each segment of our day you know I I choose for this conversation to go really well something like that you know so that's a wonderful advice jenny if people want to know more about you and work with you where can they go um my website is abetterlifetapping.com so yeah and um if you go there there's buttons all over the first page I offer a free 30 minute session with people to talk to them and tap with them to show them what how does it feel like for you um I'm also on Facebook um Jenny Cliff Coaching I think it is or A Better Life Tapping both are there um I have a YouTube channel which is also Jenny Cliff Coaching and I have a lot of videos there tapping videos um and on my website as well you can see my

Starting point is 01:01:59 email address is there so plenty of ways yes i'm gonna have all of this information in the show note and i really recommend that everyone visits your youtube channel you have all of these wonderful uh tapping sequences i don't know if that's how you call them we normally say tapping rounds so yeah tapping around thank you yeah yeah tackle issues such as you know money issues tapping on on anyway yeah there's one there for performance anxiety and there's yeah a different you know doubt things like that yeah yeah so many great resources so jenny thank you so much for this gift of your time today for talking to us about this and presenting this modality that can be so helpful for us well it's a great pleasure i love talking to you renee and thank you very

Starting point is 01:02:58 much for having me here thank you guys so much for listening i hope you enjoyed this conversation with jenny clift jenny and i would love to hear about your experience with eft tapping and about your favorite takeaways from today's conversation. So get in touch with us. I'm mindoverfinger on both Instagram and Facebook, and you can find her by searching for Jenny Clift. Of course, I have all those links for you in the show notes, and you can find them via your podcast app or by visiting mindoverfinger.com, where you can also find more information about mindful and efficient practice, performance preparation, and how to work with me. While you're there, sign up for my newsletter and receive your free guide to an exceptionally mindful and productive practice.

Starting point is 01:03:54 Finally, I hope to see you in the Mind Over Finger tribe. That's my private Facebook group where I pop in once a week to talk about mindful practice and answer your questions. It's a great community and you can find it at facebook.com slash groups slash Mind Over Finger tribe. So that's it for today. Again, thank you and à bientôt. © transcript Emily Beynon

The Mind Over Finger Podcast - 083 Jenny Clift: Emotional Freedom Technique

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.