The Mind Over Finger Podcast - 146 Ten "Mistakes" Smart Musicians Make and How to Avoid Them – Part 2

Episode Date: October 13, 2022

Ten Mistakes Smart Musicians Make and How to Avoid Them – Part 2 Reflection - Here are questions to increase your awareness of the topics I cover in the episode: How can I make choices that benefit me right now AND support me long term? How can I honor both my commitments AND myself today? How can I become more connected to my internal joy and creativity in the practice room?   Audition coming up? Big concert? Degree recital? Feeling stuck and wanting a new way to approach practicing that will give you THE RESULTS YOU WANT? ​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ ​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ Sign up for the Confident Musician Free Workshop!​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ ​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ I will share with you everything you need to FEEL CONFIDENT, PLAY YOUR BEST, GET THE RESULTS YOU WANT, and ENJOY YOURSELF in performance!.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ ​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ Click HERE join me live or to access the replay. ​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ Friday October 14, 2022​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ 10-11:30 am CT / 11-12:30am am ET​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ ​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ Here's what it's all about:​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ ✨Three Pillars of Optimal Performance​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ ✨ How to plan ​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ ✨ How to practice​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ ✨ How to get ready for performance, win the audition, rock the stage, and enjoy the whole experience... and more!​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​   >> DOWNLOAD THE TRANSCRIPT FROM THIS EPISODE HERE

You're listening to the Mind Over Finger Podcast, episode number 146. Welcome to the Mind Over Finger Podcast, discussions on mindful music making, efficient practice, optimal performance, and building a purposeful life and fulfilling career. I'm your host, violinist and certified performance and life coach for musicians, Dr. Renée-Paul Gaultier. Hi, everyone. I hope you're doing amazing. Today's show is part two of my answer to Jean's question, what are some of the most common mistakes I see musicians make? If you have not already caught episode number 145, go back and listen to the first five mistakes smart musicians make and

how to overcome them. And today, I'm going to keep going starting with number six. A quick recap of what I shared in episode 145 first. Mystic number one, not meeting yourself where you are. Mystic number two, not having a plan that works for you. Mystic number three, not managing your time in a way that works for you. Number four, under-consuming and over-consuming, and that is in every aspect. And finally, mystic number five, smart musicians make is not trusting yourself. And the last thing I want to do before I launch into the last five common mistakes I see smart musicians make is to let you know that I have great strategies for you to overcome these mistakes. If you're catching this episode the day that it goes live, there's still time for you to join us live for my free workshop, The Confident Musician, Friday, October 14th at 10 a.m. Central. But if you're listening after that, you can catch the replay anytime.

So make sure to click the link in the show notes. That training is jam-packed with information that's going to help you gain clarity and know what you need in order to perform at your best with confidence. I will share with you everything you need to prepare for a performance where you're going to get the results you want. And yes, enjoy yourself. it's totally possible and i'm going to show you how we're going to discuss why you're not getting the results you want and what you need to achieve them how to approach it how to plan how to

practice and how to prepare for an optimal performance so go to mindoverfinger.com slash resources to get the link to join me live on october 14th at 10 a.m central or to get access did the replay. Again, that's at mindoverfinger.com slash resources to join me live or catch the replay of The Confident Musician's free workshop. Link is in the show notes. Okay, back to our mistakes. And kind of the same way I did in the first part of the series, I want to remind you to take the word mistake with a grain of salt. I'm a huge fan of the author Gretchen Rubin, and I love one of her secrets to adulthood, the opposite of a profound truth is also true. And I'll quote her on this here. She says, this is a mysterious and powerful aspect of the human

nature. I want to accept myself and expect more from myself. I want to think about myself so I can forget about myself. I want to use my time efficiently, and I want to take time to wonder and play. Strive to be emotionally self-sufficient so I can connect better with other people. An aspect of the secret of adulthood is the ancient idea that sometimes something goes so far in one direction that it circles back on itself in a kind of union of opposites. don't you find that to be true for yourself as well so let's keep in mind that there are times when doing the things i list here as quote unquote mistakes is desirable and would serve you so the only goal here is to get us to pay attention to what's happening to what we need

and move forward with awareness as to what we decide to intentionally continue doing Okay, now that we cleared that up, let's go. 10 Mistakes Smart Musicians Make and How to Overcome Them, Part 2. Here we go. Mistake number six, overcommitting yourself. And I find this to be true regardless of whether you're a student, an amateur, or a professional. That's actually one of the lessons that's taking me the longest to learn. And I'm using present tense because saying no to something that sounds fun or challenging is still one of the hardest things to do for me. And raise your hand high if you're with me on this boat. So whether you're seeking more experience, more connections, more money, more recognition, it can be so very difficult

to say no to things. But not surprisingly, what can end up happening when we do this is we can't bring the quality that we would want to to the projects we say yes to. And ultimately, it can significantly delay the achievement of the things we're really going for. Being overcommitted also affects our health negatively, both physical and mental, that is. And I'm not saying that we can have a perfectly balanced life at all times and that there aren't moments when we get really, really busy pursuing 100% worthy opportunities. And there are absolutely moments when we do have to say yes to things to pay our bills or help someone or get experience. The one thing I would encourage you to do if you find yourself constantly overcommitted is to reflect on what your goals

really are, and if the things you say yes to support you in this direction. What are you really after? What kind of life do you want? And is saying yes to this new offer supporting you towards that life? Or is it just a temporary boost of those things I mentioned earlier? Money, recognition, etc. Finding the balance is once again, something you're going to figure out as you go. Just pay attention to what you're saying yes to and how it supports you short and long-term. Also, very important, ask yourself if you're committing to something out of fear, out of a need to have a backup plan because you're afraid you're not going to be able to achieve what it is that you really want. And I'm not saying one shouldn't have a backup plan.

Just have this awareness of what is motivating you to say yes to yet another engagement. And if it's fear of failure, there is a great reflection to be had there. And just to be sure, I want to mention that overcommitment is not the same as not managing your time, which I talked about in the last episode. Someone could manage their time really well and be able to do everything, but that doesn't mean you should do everything. You know you're overcommitted when you feel depleted and you don't have time to tend to the fundamentals anymore. So the key thing here is this awareness of where your intentions are going, your energy,

your physical, mental, and emotional reserves. mistake number seven comparing yourself i don't need to go at length for this one you heard it before from everyone everywhere comparison is the thief of joy yes absolutely it can take you down a deep deep hole and there are two things i'd like to offer to you in addition to this maybe you've heard those before as well, but it's always a good reminder I find, at least for myself. First thing is comparing yourself to others is absolutely normal if you're a human being. If we go back thousands of years, it was a survival mechanism so we could assess if the person standing in front of us was going to be a threat or a friend. So when you do it,

don't make things worse by beating yourself up about it. Don't add guilt of comparison to the pain you're already experiencing. It's totally normal. Offer yourself a lot of compassion. Compassion for the person who has aspiration and maybe is not quite where they want to be. Just lots of love. Second is notice what you're comparing. That little tinge of envy, of jealousy perhaps. What if it's a sign of the things you truly want and aspire to? So get curious about what it is that you're seeing that is appealing to you. Is that something you really want? Do you think it's something that would make you happy ultimately? If you do want something similar, how could you make that happen for yourself?

What are some steps you could take towards this? Or would this actually be good for you? There definitely are circumstances when envy does not pass the scrutiny test, where we realize that what at first appeared enticing is not something that we want at all. So again, awareness. When you notice comparison is happening, give yourself some slack, give yourself some love, give the other person some love as well, and make a mental note to explore. Mistake number eight, trying to impress. Now, this one is also something that is so

totally normal. At the fundamental level, as humans, we want to feel accepted. We want to belong. We want our peers to value us. So again, wanting to impress is a totally normal human emotion. But what's good to know is that trying to impress or focusing on what others think while we play stifles us. It's understandable to want to impress a jury if you're playing a competition or an audition. But unfortunately, this will most often than not play against you. It's going to take you away from your ability to experience flow. You're going to be so busy battling your own thoughts and analyzing everything from what you think others' perspective is. You're going to be expending a great amount of energy trying to control a lot of parameters that should be left

alone during a performance. Do all of this work, analyzing and assessing in the practice room, but on stage, you must let go of trying to please others. Very much like focusing on the journey itself helps us reach our goals, focusing on the moment-to-moment experience as we perform allows us to play at our best. A client of mine brought my attention to this beautiful interview with Barbara Hannigan. And if I remember, I'll put a link in the show notes, or if not, just send me an email to get the link. But yes, this interview where she talks about how when we try to impress, we can't express. I've always find that to be true in my own playing. So when you step on stage, focus on the moment and your own inner experience. Let go of your expectations to

please and impress others. Okay, we're getting close. Mistake number nine, not giving yourself enough time to prepare for a performance. I find that so often people underestimate how much time it takes to prepare for a performance. It takes a lot of time. Of course, it really varies from person to person, so it's really important to know yourself. Most professionals have learned, oftentimes the hard way, how much time they need to learn a piece or prepare a program. and if you have not err on the side of caution and make sure you give yourself plenty of time it takes a long time for the brain to create all of the neural pathways necessary for us to feel comfortable with a new skill or a new difficult piece we need a lot of nights we need

a lot of sleeps on this and space repetition is your best friend so plan for a longer rather than shorter preparation time. One way to think about it is like how you strengthen a friendship like getting to know a new friend. Sure you can spend a few intense hours with someone and feel like you've met your very new best friend and that also happens with repertoire at times depending on your level. But usually friendship develops over time. Start with coffee, you meet for a meal, you go on hikes together. You create opportunities to strengthen your friendship bond with a new friend with many visits and many shared experiences. And over time, the bond solidifies. You want to give your pieces the same opportunities. You need spaced repetitions for the skills to be acquired

and the material to be anchored. The brain needs to have many opportunities to sleep on it, literally. You need opportunities to forget the material, to relearn it, to anchor it and master it. Then it feels like a great friend it's good to spend time with on stage. So keep that in mind. Time is your ally. Time and sleep. And finally, mystic number 10 smart musicians make. not paying yourself first in the practice room. Maybe you've heard this expression was really popular in the financial world in the late 90s. And people still talk about it because it's a good idea. It's the principle that to save money for a project or for retirement, you need to pay yourself first. You set up a bank account where you get 10% of your paycheck automatically deducted

every week. And we can use that in the practice room as well. One of the best ways to keep music making fun, engaging, interesting, and meaningful for yourself is to pay yourself first. Keep a little bit of time each practice to dedicate to something that is deeply interesting or meaningful for you. If you're not sure how long you should give yourself, just go with that principle of 10%. 10% of one hour is six minutes. If you have tons of work to do, I know it might feel like you cannot spare six minutes. But I promise you that six minutes of self-nurturing can make the other 54 so much more efficient. It's going to recalibrate your levels of energy and enjoyment in practice.

Start the session with it and with it or do it in the middle to break up the intense focus it does not matter but give yourself this gift it's going to stimulate your focus and keep you in alignment with your bigger purpose and you can do anything you'd like play long tones read a movement of Bach improvise play a fiddle tune anything that you look forward to and that will boost your enthusiasm and if that means nothing to you when I say you deserve it or it feels like an unnecessary luxury to you, then I'm telling you, you cannot afford not to do it. Research shows that leaving space for this type of play helps fight fatigue, boredom, stress, and burnout, and boosts creativity and problem solving, which I think you'll agree are all great things in the

practice room. So go ahead, trust me on this, set up your automatic transfer in your motivation slash creativity slash focus savings account and pay yourself first. So try this at home this week. Take your pulse and notice if you're over committing yourself. Offer yourself grace and compassion when you catch yourself comparing yourself and redirect your thoughts to introspection. Focus on your inner experience when you're playing. Give yourself plenty of time to prepare and pay yourself first in the practice room. And here are some questions to increase your awareness. How can I make choices that benefit me right now

and support me long-term? How can I honor both my commitments and myself today? How can I become more connected to my internal joy and creativity in the practice room? so that's what I have for you this week get in touch and let me know how this works for you and again a reminder if any of this resonates with you make sure to catch the confident musician my free workshop about everything you need to prepare for an optimal performance it goes live on October 14th at 10 a.m central but the replay will be available at mindoverfinger.com

slash resources anytime after that. Also, don't forget that you can download transcript of this episode also by going to mindoverfinger.com slash resources. And I have the link in the show notes for you. All right, much love going your way, my friend, and à bientôt. thank you guys so much for listening I hope you enjoyed this episode of the mind over finger podcast if this content was helpful for you please share with everyone you think could benefit from it take a screenshot share on social media and tag me I'm mind over finger everywhere so reach out send me a dm and let me know how this content helped you let's keep the conversation going as always i have all the information related to this episode in the show notes you can find them via

your podcast app or by visiting mindoverfinger.com where you can also find more free resources on efficient practice and performance preparation links to sign up to my free workshops and information on how to work with me. Don't forget to sign up for my newsletter to receive your free guide to a productive mindful practice, transcripts from the Mind Over Finger podcast episodes delivered to your inbox every week, and more. Also, join the Mind Over Finger Facebook community, my private group, for access to my live videos and to exchange with a community of like-minded musicians. So make sure you're subscribed to the podcast. And if you have specific questions for me or my guests that you would like answered in an episode, share them with me using the link

in the show notes or send me a DM on Instagram or Facebook. That's it for today. Again, thank you and à bientôt! Thanks for watching!