The Mind Over Finger Podcast - 168 Why Resolutions Fail

Starting point is 00:00:00 You're listening to The Mind Over Finger Podcast, episode number 168. Welcome to The Mind Over Finger Podcast, discussions on mindful music making, efficient practice, optimal performance, and building a purposeful life and fulfilling career. I'm your host, violinist and certified performance and life coach for musicians, Dr. René-Paul Gauthier. Hello, everyone. I hope you're doing amazing as you're tuning in. This is the third episode on the topic of mastery, and we're inspired by the work of George Leonard for this series. And today, we're diving into an important topic. We're going to be exploring why resolutions often

Starting point is 00:00:49 fail and how we can overcome challenges on this road to mastery. So if you're tired of setting resolutions only to see them fizzle out, this episode is for you. I don't know about you, but I love resolutions. I get excited so easily. Everything feels possible before I get started. There's so much hope, so many things I want to do. And I always think I'm going to have this crazy iron motivation and drive. It's going to look like a movie montage with some 80s music playing in the background. I'm going to learn all the Paganini Caprices this summer. I'm going to finally memorize and perform all the Bach sonatas and partitas. Or if I played a different instrument, it might sound like I'm going to arrange the Art of the Fugue for solo flute, or I'm going to

Starting point is 00:01:42 record the Chopin Anthology. Have you ever been there? Maybe you have some crazy goals, but maybe you also have simpler goals. Mine sometimes sound like I'm always going to be on top of the repertoire are, and I'll never have to cram a symphony program the day before the first rehearsal. I'm always going to be super prepared before the cycle begins. Have you ever said that? You recognize yourself? Big or small, it seems that we're not always able to achieve all of those goals. Well, if you're sometimes struggling with keeping resolutions, I'm with you on this. Personally, I've set countless resolutions in the past only to lose momentum after a few weeks or give up altogether. It can be very frustrating and disheartening, right?

Starting point is 00:02:30 But through my own journey and experience and lots of coaching and learning along the way, I know that there's a better way to approach resolutions. And I don't always achieve everything because I still want to do too many things, but I know how to go after the things I really want. So if that sounds good to you, let's dive in. Why do resolutions fail? Well, there are many valid reasons why it's hard to stick to resolutions and make it to the finish line. So don't be too hard on yourself.

Starting point is 00:03:11 As George Leonard puts it, we often fall into common traps and there are common for a reason. We all do it. We set unrealistic goals. We like a clear plan and we don't address the underlying mindsets or habits that are holding us back. We get caught up in short-term motivation but we often like the staying power for long-term success. Can you relate to that? You want to learn an entire set of etudes but you have a busy rehearsal and commute schedule then in the evening you're tired and hungry your body and mind need rest and there's so much music to learn for the next gig and so much laundry and groceries and errands and taking the kids to their activities and life basically there it is in a nutshell there's so much life getting in the way and even if you get

Starting point is 00:04:09 started on the project it turns out that the etudes are much more difficult than you remembered and you would have to work on that one technique first and refine this one skill and fix that one old bad habit and change of vibrato and yada, yada, yada. Sounds familiar? And another very powerful element at work is what George Leonard calls homeostasis. Homeostasis is a very complex process, but put simply, it's our natural tendency and desire to maintain a stable and balanced internal environment. Basically, we want to stick to what we know. And we experience this at the physical, intellectual, and emotional levels. When we try to make changes, such as sticking to new resolutions, our body and mind may resist because they're used to the old patterns.

Starting point is 00:05:09 They want to stick to what is within the zone of comfort, what feels safe and familiar. Think about what happens whenever you try to change anything related to your technique. Oh boy, how quickly we want to go back to what feels comfortable, right? Or how about sticking to a new workout regimen that has you out of breath within seconds? The odds are usually not great. New resolutions disrupt our usual patterns, so we must expect inner and outer resistance and backlash. George Leonard himself said, mastery is not about perfection. It's about a process, a journey. The key to mastery is action, sustained effort over time. So instead of focusing solely on the end result, let's shift our mindset and embrace a mastery approach to resolutions.

Starting point is 00:06:07 It's about the journey, not just the destination, as you've heard me say in the past few episodes. So how can we adopt a mastery mindset and build sustainable habits? Well, George Leonard offers great strategies to do this. The first one is to be aware of how homeostasis works, to expect the resistance, to expect the disruptions, to welcome them, to, as he says, bear in mind that an entire system has to change when any part of it changes. Again, how did it feel last time you tried to change your vibrato or your embouchure or your bow hold? Feels great and exciting for about five minutes. Then it gets really awkward and annoying, and we have to really make an effort and think hard. So know that you

Starting point is 00:07:06 will need to show flexibility, patience, dedication, and the willingness to surrender to a process with all its good and especially its bad parts. And that's his second strategy. Be willing to negotiate with your resistance to change. Expect for the resistance to be proportionate to the size and speed of the change you're trying to implement. Whoa, how powerful is that? Let me read it again because this is very important. Expect for the resistance to be proportionate to the size and speed of the change you're trying to implement. So be willing to take one step back for each two steps forward when you're building a new habit or learning something new. Stay determined and stay mindful. Be aware of how and where the resistance shows up

Starting point is 00:08:08 and negotiate patiently with it. Honor it. Respect it. But don't give in to it. Something that will help you with this is Leonard's third strategy. It's to develop a support system. Find people on a similar path as you that will fuel your inspiration and your grit. enlist moral and logistical support get support with the chores at home hire a coach ask for help join a group find your people and if you need help with that i have a complete cheerleading squad waiting to love and support you through any goal so stay tuned at the end of the episode and i'll share with you how to join this group of super motivated and supportive musicians ready to lift you up to new heights. Now, Leonard's fourth recommendation is about being

Starting point is 00:09:09 consistent with your practice. As musicians, I don't need to convince you of the importance of a consistent practice regimen, but I will invite you to examine your current approach and see if it matches your future goals or if it perhaps might be stuck in the past, in old habits, frozen in familiar patterns. So get curious and creative. Finally, the last strategy Leonard offers is about, of course, putting emphasis on the process itself, the mastery path, about shifting, as I said earlier, your focus from instant results to continuous learning, practice, patience, and staying committed despite challenges. It's about the journey, not the destination. But you know this because I've been hammering it in for two episodes already. So let's leave

Starting point is 00:10:11 this there and allow me to now add a few recommendations of my own. Number one is to set realistic goals. One of the biggest killers of result is what I call the grandiose resolution. That big thing that lights you up before it burns you. And it's not that you're not capable of grandiose things, of course, but it's that people underestimate how much work will be required and how quickly the motivation will fade in the face of effort. So instead of setting lofty resolutions that may be overwhelming, still dream big, but break the steps into smaller, achievable goals. This way you can track your progress and stay motivated. number two build sustainable habits identify the healthy habits that align with your resolutions

Starting point is 00:11:11 and commit to consistent practice and i'm not just talking about practicing habits here what life habits would support you physically mentally and emotionally and nurture your most valuable asset yourself attend to all your needs be demanding with yourself of course Consistency is key to success, and a little side of grit goes a long way. But also, fuel yourself in every way possible with the things that will help you operate at the highest level. And speaking of operating at the highest level, I want to invite you to experience a powerful transformation with me this summer. As your dedicated coach inside the Music Mastery Experience, my life-changing, highly personalized group coaching program, I will help you leave behind the bad habits that sabotage your practice progress and develop the mindsets that can boost your practice into hyperdrive so you get more bang for your buck in the practice room using each minute to the fullest. I will help you learn repertoire faster and better than ever and understand exactly what works when

Starting point is 00:12:36 it comes to performance preparation so you'll be walking on stage in your optimal performing state every single time feeling super confident and ready to rock and I will help you grow way beyond your perceived limitations. You're going to clearly see the possibilities that lay ahead. And I will be with you every step of the way as you take actions, get results, and gain confidence. And as I told you earlier, inside the Music Mastery Experience, you're going to find a built-in support network of motivated musicians ready to inspire and lift you up. So whether you're looking to win your first job, grow your current career, or create your dream life, we are there for you. So visit mindoverfinger.com today to find all of the information about the

Starting point is 00:13:38 music mastery experience and book your free conversation with me to start planning your mastery journey. And don't delay, my schedule is filling up and I only accept 20 musicians in the program. Also, I have amazing bonuses that you're going to want to grab before they go away on April 30th. So don't wait. Go to mindoverfinger.com right now and book your conversation with me today. I can't wait to speak with you. So as we wrap up, I want to challenge you to take action. Choose one resolution that's important to you and apply the strategies we discussed today. Set realistic goals, focus on continuous learning, build sustainable habits, find a support network, and stay committed. Understand that resistance will show up physically, mentally, and emotionally,

Starting point is 00:14:40 and learn to lovingly negotiate with it. And remember, mastery is a journey, not a destination. So be patient with yourself and keep pushing forward. And ask yourself these questions to gain clarity on how to approach your next resolutions. What are some common reasons why my past resolutions may have failed? How can I address those challenges moving forward? How can I adopt a mastery mindset and focus on continuous learning, practice, and patience rather than instant results when it comes to my resolutions? What does that look like for me?

Starting point is 00:15:25 What sustainable habits can I incorporate into my daily life to support my resolutions? How can I ensure my consistency, accountability, and self-awareness in building and maintaining these habits? Okay, this is what I have for you this week, my friends. Reach out, let me know what insight this episode brings for you, and don't forget to check out the Music Mastery Experience at mindoverfinger.com. Much love going your way, and à bientôt! thank you guys so much for listening i hope you enjoyed this episode of the mind over finger podcast if this content was helpful for you please share with everyone you think could benefit from

Starting point is 00:16:20 it take a screenshot share on social media and tag me i'm mind over finger everywhere so reach out send me a dm and let me know how this content helped you let's keep the conversation going as always i have all the information related to this episode in the show notes you can find them via your podcast app or by visiting mindoverfinger.com where you can also find more free resources on efficient practice and performance preparation links to sign up to my free workshops and information on how to work with me. Don't forget to sign up for my newsletter to receive your free guide to a productive mindful practice,

Starting point is 00:17:05 transcripts from the Mind Over Finger podcast episodes delivered to your inbox every week, and more. Also, join the Mind Over Finger Facebook community, my private group, for access to my live videos and to exchange with a community of like-minded musicians. So, make sure you're subscribed to the podcast And if you have specific questions for me or my guests that you would like answered in an episode, share them with me using the link in the show notes or send me a DM on Instagram or Facebook. That's it for today.

Starting point is 00:17:39 Again, thank you and à bientôt.

The Mind Over Finger Podcast - 168 Why Resolutions Fail

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