The Mind Over Finger Podcast - 218 The Truth About Confidence - What Every Musician Needs to Know

Starting point is 00:00:00 Tell me if you're familiar with this scenario. You prepare, you practice, you put in the hours. But when you step on stage, that confidence you thought you had vanishes. Your hands shake, your thoughts spiral, and suddenly you start to question everything. You question your abilities, you question your preparation, even though you know you've put in the work. And then after the performance, maybe you spiral. why can't I just feel confident? Why does it seem so easy for other musicians, but not for me?

Starting point is 00:00:37 Well, if this sounds familiar, if you've ever felt this way, this is the episode for you. You're listening to the Mind Over Finger podcast. This is episode 218. Welcome to the Mind Over Finger podcast, where we dive into the world of mindful music making peak performance, and crafting a purpose-driven life and career. I'm your host, violinist, certified performance and life coach for musicians, and your guide to unlocking your full potential, Dr. René-Paul Gaultier. So I hope you're doing wonderfully well today and I have a great episode for you. This winter, inside the Music Mastery Experience with my clients, we are diving deep into the fantastic book, The Confident Mind by Nadesenser. It's been a game

Starting point is 00:01:33 changer for my clients. It breaks down confidence in the way that actually makes sense. It's backed by research, but it's also super practical and very easy to implement. And one of the sections that resonated the most with everyone is the one about the myths and truths about confidence. Because so many musicians don't even realize that they're holding on to beliefs that are actually getting in the way of their confidence. So today, I want to share these myths with you. Because once you start recognizing them, and you see them for what they are, they're just thoughts you're choosing to believe, well, everything changes.

Starting point is 00:02:21 let's talk about the misinformation about confidence that is everywhere around us so if you believe some of these commitments you're probably making confidence way harder than it needs to be here are just a few things i hear all the time from musicians confidence is just something you're born with you either have it or you don't or if i were really confident i would feel that way all the time another one is i've had success before so my confidence should just keep growing and my favorite mistakes destroy confidence does that sound familiar but here's the thing none of these are actually true and this matters because if you believe confidence is something you're born with

Starting point is 00:03:26 then it's easy to assume you're just not the kind of person who can feel confident it's like a life sentence. You're always going to feel like you're at the mercy of your genetics, your personality, or your external circumstances. And if you think confidence should be constant, that one bad performance means you've lost it, or that you never really had it in the first place, you're going to find yourself in a constant cycle of self-doubt. And nobody can live like this. you're always going to feel like one bad performance is going to feel like it's a proof that you've lost it if you assume that mistakes and failures are going to destroy your confidence then every time something doesn't go perfectly your self-trust is going to take a hit and you

Starting point is 00:04:22 can see how devastating that's going to be long term so let's clear this up because confidence isn't what you think it is. And once you understand what's actually happening, you can start building it for yourself. Because that's the most important thing you need to know, is that confidence isn't something you have. It's something you create. It's not based on talent. It's not based on luck. It's not even based on your past success. It's based on how you interpret your experiences. So let's break down these myths and replace them with the actual truth. Myth number one, confidence is something you're born with.

Starting point is 00:05:21 That's just not true. Confidence is not something you're born with. It's something you build, the way you practice, the way you think, and the way you respond to challenges. All of those things shape your confidence over time. Myth number two, confidence is all or nothing. You have it or you don't. And the truth is that confidence is situational. You can feel very confident in one area and not in another. You can feel strong in one area and you're still building your confidence in another. For example, you can feel strong in sight reading, but you're not as great performing under pressure.

Starting point is 00:06:13 You might feel great playing chamber music, but not as confident playing solo. You might feel great in the middle of the section, but not as confident sitting first stand. So just because you don't feel confident everywhere, it doesn't mean you're not confident at all. It means that confidence shows up differently in different situations. And if you take a minute to look at the areas where you feel confident, you'll see that confidence is present in your life right now. Myth number three, once you build confidence, you have it forever. And that is just not true.

Starting point is 00:07:05 You ask the best musicians, the best athletes, the best performers in any area. Confidence needs maintenance. it's not a one and done achievement it's something you strengthen over time even the most experienced musicians have to actively maintain their confidence they do that through mindset training and self-awareness and yes for sure practicing but also active conditioning myth number four is that achievements equal confidence again just not true and we know because some people achieve extraordinary things and they don't feel confident confidence comes from how you process success

Starting point is 00:08:00 winning an audition or getting praise it does feel good but it's not going to automatically make you feel confident and as i just said we know this because some people experience amazing success and do not feel confident i'm going to say it again because it's so important what actually matters is how you interpret those achievements so if you don't let yourself truly absorb and own your achievements, confidence won't stick. And that's easier said than done. And believe me, because we do that so much with my clients in one-on-one inside of MME, there is a way to learn how to nurture confidence through having the ability to notice the success in your life and process it in a positive way. And I'm going to talk to you about that in a second.

Starting point is 00:08:57 myth number five mistakes and failures destroy confidence and the truth is that mistakes actually build confidence if you let them mistakes are opportunities to build stronger confidence if you let them mistakes only damage confidence if you let them if you see them as evidence that you're not good enough. But if you use them as learning experiences, they actually make you stronger if you let them. So let's recap. Confidence is not something you're born with. It's something you build. Confidence is not all or nothing. It's not something you are. It's situational. Confidence is also not a permanent state. It requires maintenance. And confidence is not about external success. It's about how you think about success. It's about how you choose to interpret your experiences. and I have an example for you so I had a client who came to me after a big concert and she was

Starting point is 00:10:18 completely losing confidence because it didn't go well and she was telling me things like if I were truly confident I wouldn't have struggle so we started working together we looked at all of the elements how she prepared how she practiced for that concert how things had been in her life around that time and how she prepared mentally for the performance, all of the logistics of it. And when we broke it down, she noticed patterns she could improve in her preparation approach. And she also noticed how her own thoughts about confidence were getting in the way. How this performance was not a reflection on her and her confidence, but she could actually use that to build her confidence for future performances. We worked on reframing that

Starting point is 00:11:09 mindset. We went from this proves that I'm not confident to this is an opportunity to strengthen my confidence, to grow my ability. So instead of seeing that experience as proof she wasn't confidence, she started choosing confidence first before she played. And over time, that shift completely changed how she showed up on stage. And if she can do it, so can you. And here's something simple that you could try today to get started in this process. And I'm telling you, it's going to sound so simple you're going to be tempted to dismiss it but it is very powerful and I know this because a lot of my clients are doing that and they are seeing the change before your next practice session write down three things you've done well recently it can be small like

Starting point is 00:12:12 something as simple as, I played well in rehearsal yesterday. I played that shift cleanly in my practice yesterday. Or I stayed focused during my scales this morning. And the goal of doing this is to train your brain to recognize success instead of only noticing mistakes. Maybe you played one phrase beautifully. Maybe you stayed focused. you want to gain this ability of noticing these things so you're building your confidence bank and you show up for work in a positive focused and productive mindset in a productive state so try this every day this week and let me know if you start to feel a shift in your confidence and your mindset. And you might be surprised at how quickly you start noticing progress and how

Starting point is 00:13:14 much more productive and enjoyable your practice sessions become. And if you're ready to take this further, if you feel like you would like guidance on that journey of becoming more confident, This is exactly what we work on inside the Music Master Experience. Inside MME, I help musicians break free from limiting confidence myths like the one we just talked about. We train the mindset so confidence becomes a habit. And my clients learn to handle setbacks without losing confidence. This isn't about waiting to feel confident.

Starting point is 00:13:57 It's about actively building it. So if you're curious, let's talk. If confidence has been a struggle for you, let's talk. You can book a free discovery call with me at mindoverfinger.com. And I want to make sure that you have the tools to build the kind of confidence that lasts. So now you know what the myths are. You know how to recognize them. and you're going to be equipped with this challenge to help you start shifting things

Starting point is 00:14:32 very powerfully in your life. I hope this episode is helpful for you. So don't forget, confidence isn't magic. It's not about luck and it's not about talent. It's about how you train your mind. And the best part is the more you work on it, the stronger it's going to get. You've got this. All right. I send you much love. A bientot. And there you have it. Thank you so much for spending this time with me today. If you enjoyed this episode, I'd love it if you'd share with your friends and colleagues. Take a screenshot, post it on social media, and tag me. I'm mind over finger everywhere. I always love hearing your favorite takeaways.

Starting point is 00:15:28 And if you're ready to take your playing career to the next level, I'd love to invite you to join the Music Mastery Experience. This is my signature group coaching program where we're going to dive deep into building your confidence and mastery and set you up for success and fulfillment in your life and career. You can find all the details at mindoverfinger.com. While you're there, check out the free downloads and online courses available to support your journey even further.

Starting point is 00:16:00 And don't forget to subscribe to my newsletter so you never miss an update or a tool to help you thrive. Again, thank you for being here. Until next time, much love and à bientôt! You

The Mind Over Finger Podcast - 218 The Truth About Confidence - What Every Musician Needs to Know

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